Pieces
by Kitatanya
Summary: Jasper finally gets her shot at redemption. Follow her as she learns the ins and outs of her new life and begins a journey towards an uncertain future. Anything could happen now that she has taken that first step. Rated for future violence and themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Pieces**

 **Yuriyaoihet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter One**

 **A/N: This story has been in my head for a while now and every time I go back and rewatch Steven Universe, the urge to write it gets stronger. The thought of Jasper, my favorite gem, getting her redemption is one I avidly hope will be a future canon event, but until then, here is my take on Jasper's redemption story.**

 **I have tried to keep the pacing and character interaction as true to SU as possible and tried to keep everyone as IC as possible, that being said, I have taken a few creative liberties and hope they won't stretch things too far.**

 **I started writing right around the 'Pool Hopping; episode, so events after that will not be a part of this story. Sorry.**

 **That being said, let's go on an adventure! Read on, loves!**

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Jasper blinked a few times as her form solidified around her. Her hair fell around her broad shoulders in a wavy mass as she stood stretching and flexing to her full, impressive height. Blearily, she blinked again and the world finally came into focus. She was in a strange place she'd never seen before. Beige wooden walls surrounded her, broken by windows of glass. Odd and unknown artifacts were everywhere. But before she could really take it all in, her eyes rested on none other than Rose Quartz.

She sneered down at the puny abomination, her entire form rippling with hatred. She so ached to start a fight, to take advantage of the surprised and terrified look on the little Rose's face, but she reigned it in. It took every ounce of her formidable control to simply continue standing there.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. As she released the breath she opened her eyes and looked at the gem again, determined to keep control. "Where am I?" Her voice was low and steady.

She saw Rose take a deep swallow. "You're in my house!" Rose squeaked.

She grunted, not knowing what to make of the statement. Before she could say or do anything else, a bright light flared to life behind them and both of them looked around to see Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl appear on the warp pad. All of them froze, utterly shocked.

Pearl was the first to move. " _Get away from him_!" She screamed, instantly materializing her weapon and assuming a fighting stance.

Garnet growled and got low, her gauntlets flaring into existence as Amethyst's whip cracked in the air, drawn from her gem ready to strike. Jasper gritted her teeth and turned to face them. She stood before them, tall and proud, but made no move to ready herself for the seemingly inevitable fight. She stood there, alone and defenseless. She was utterly terrified, but knew everything would hinge on this moment. She glanced back at the little Rose Quartz, wondering just how much of that pretty speech at The Kindergarten had been true.

Would Rose really stand up and save her like she was promised during their last encounter? Was she falling into a trap? Had she been tricked?

Just as she'd given up hope and the Crystal Gems moved to strike, something amazing happened. Rose's shield was there, protecting her. The weapons of her enemies were stopped inches from her by the shield of their very own Rose Quartz. Her heart leapt in a strange sense of awe. Rose had been telling the truth. A strange sensation spread through her and tears danced in her eyes, though she wasn't sure why. She blinked them away quickly as the Crystal Gems looked on at them completely stunned.

" _ **Stop**_!" Little Rose screamed. "She's not going to fight you!"

Pearl sputtered incomprehensibly. Amethyst cut her off before she could force out whatever she was trying to say. "Yo! You do realize that's Jasper, right? The one who was trying to _kill_ us?!"

"I do!" Rose screamed. "But she wasn't going to fight this time." Frantic tears pricked Rose's eyes as the rebellious leader turned back to look at Jasper. "Right?" The word was a tiny waver of sound.

Jasper looked down at the gem who had shaped most of her life so far and made the final decision. There was no going back now. "I won't fight you." She spoke firmly.

A tiny part of her died as she fully gave in to her worst enemy. The rest of her felt a strange sense of... duty? Hope? Fear definitely played a part. She wasn't sure how she truly felt, but she would hold to this promise. Slowly, she lowered herself to one knee, crossing one arm over her chest as she bowed. She waited on eggshells for Rose's response.

There was a long moment of tense silence, before she felt a small soft hand come to rest on her shoulder. "You don't have to bow down Jasper. You never have to bow again." Rose's voice was firm.

Jasper looked up, surprised. "I don't?"

The tiny Rose smiled at her. "That's not how we do things here on earth. Everyone here is an equal."

Jasper contemplated this, looking from Rose to the other Crystal Gems. All of them were still tense, but their weapons were gone. She blinked back at Rose. She was equal? What about the natural order?

She opened her mouth to ask, when the door behind her suddenly slammed open. She immediately rose to her feet and looked around to see Peridot walk inside. The short green gem was totally engrossed in a device strapped to her wrist and was carrying a small paper bag.

"Steven! I have acquired your greasy, sweet confection of roundness and sprinkles!" She called without looking up. Jasper was so confused she didn't even react when Peridot kept walking and bumped into her. "Oops! Sorry, I was just-" The green gem finally looked up and froze when she recognized Jasper. " _Oh my stars_..." She whimpered.

Jasper looked down at her and remained still. The little gem looked terrified. After a moment, the tall warrior gem glanced back at Rose. Rose seemed to understand and moved toward the frozen Peridot.

"Thanks for getting my doughnuts, Peridot." Rose took the bag from her and looked inside happily.

Peridot glanced at the little Rose with wide eyes before resuming her stare at Jasper. "No problem." She whispered haltingly. "Um, Steven?"

"Yeah?" Rose responded, mouth full of the contents of the bag.

"It might just be something wrong with my vision spheres but... I think I see Jasper standing in our house." She finished quickly, her voice uncertain.

"Don't worry. There's nothing wrong with your eyes."

"We were just as surprised to warp back and find her here. _Alone. With Steven_." Pearl's voice was cutting as she stepped around the tall warrior gem.

Jasper watched as Peridot began to look even more scared. "He said he wanted doughnuts." She squeaked.

"Doughnuts could have waited." Garnet joined the furious Pearl.

"And where is that lion? He should have been here too!" The pale gem snapped.

"Lion is with Connie. She asked to use him to go to a book signing. She's getting me one too!" Rose said excitedly.

Pearl looked fit to burst, while Garnet rubbed her forehead. "Why didn't I see _that_ coming?" The fusion groaned.

"You guys maybe wanna talk about this later?" Amethyst hissed her eyes still on Jasper.

The tall warrior gem pursed her lips down at the diminutive Amethyst. She felt her old resentment stir, but forced herself to remain neutral as all the eyes in the room turned back to her. She stood tall under their scrutiny.

It made her strangely nervous. She crossed her arms and humphed. "I know I'm the perfect gem, but you don't have to stare." She said haughtily.

Rose chuckled nervously as the tension level in the room jumped. "Jasper's got jokes."

"This situation is a joke." Amethyst muttered.

"Okay! Maybe I'll just go show Jasper around on the beach and let you guys have a little talk." Rose said, voice trembling.

The little Rose walked around the tall warrior gem towards the door. Jasper followed the tiny Rose without a thought. This small place was full of so much tension it already claustrophobic for her. She had a feeling if she stayed without the little gem, it would be even worse.

Part of her was already wondering whether or not this whole, 'good' thing was worth the effort considering what little time they had, when a pale trident was suddenly pointed at her. "You're not going anywhere alone with Steven."

Jasper fought to keep her expression neutral as she looked down at the Pearl in her way. She opened her mouth to make a scathing remark, but Rose cut her off. "Pearl! Put that away. Jasper isn't going to hurt me." Rose spoke slowly, but firmly. "Right, Jasper?"

Jasper took a deep breath and nodded, keeping her eyes on the deadly gem in front of her. "I'm not going to fight." She said again.

"That is highly unlikely." Peridot cut in. "Jasper's are _made_ to fight. It's what they do."

Jasper ground her teeth, surprised at the hurt she felt inside. Anger followed swiftly on the heels of the sadness. She could hold her tongue no longer. "What happened to all the Earth talk about gems being able to change?" She asked. "I haven't even been reformed for five minutes and you're all ready to poof me again." She laughed harshly. "Is it because I'm the only one of you that's actually worth something? Afraid I'll outshine you?" She glared around at them all, before focusing on Rose. "Call off your Pearl."

Pearl started to sputter and the others visibly reacted, but Rose spoke before any of them could reply. Jasper saw real anger on the little Rose's face. "First of all: Pearl doesn't belong to anyone. No one does. Here, we are all our own person. Secondly..." He looked around at the others. "Jasper is right. You guys haven't even given her a chance."

They were all silent for a moment. Jasper looked away from the strange looks on their faces. She heard a heavy sigh and looked up to see the perma-fusion, Garnet, step closer to Rose.

"Steven. I know that you have your mother's gem. I also know that you have her heart." She stooped and squeezed Rose's shoulder. "You believe the best in everything around you. You seek to find goodness in everything. And that is an honorable thing." She squared her shoulders and looked at Jasper. "And we can do no less. Jasper is here for a reason and we should let her be."

Pearl was aghast. " _Garnet_! You can't be serious?!"

The tall fusion crossed her arms. "It was Steven's decision to unbubble Jasper and try to heal her. We _all_ agreed to it."

"Wow." Amethyst suddenly laughed. "This is either gonna be amazing or horrible."

Garnet smiled. "We're just gonna roll with it."

"Does anyone here know the definition of ' _doomed_ '?" Peridot asked dryly.

"Yeah. It's what you are when those two remember how mad at you they are." Amethyst smirked, jerking her head at Garnet and Pearl.

"Oh, we haven't forgotten." Garnet said forebodingly. Pearl poofed her trident and crossed her arms, glaring at the green gem.

Peridot sighed and pouted at the snickering Amethyst. "Wow... thanks." She muttered.

Jasper was utterly confused, but she sensed that they had all granted her at least a grudging acceptance. For the moment, at least. A tiny part of her was relieved. The rest of her had no idea what was going on. One thing she did know was that no matter what the cost, the Crystal Gems and Rose needed to hear about the horror resting beneath their feet. If she was going to try and be good, then she wanted to tell the truth, no matter what the cost.

She looked to Peridot. "Have you told them?" She asked.

The ferrokinetic gem blinked at her in surprise. "Told them what exactly?"

"About... _The Cluster_." She spoke the name in a hushed voice, as if even the mention of it would send it bursting forth, destroying them and everything around them in an instant.

All of them stared blankly at her. "The Cluster?" Peridot asked. "We took care of that thing ages ago!"

It was Jasper's turn to stare blankly. Her heart was fluttering in her chest. "What?"

"Yeah." Rose spoke. "It was right after the island where..." Rose trailed off. "Well, it's been awhile. But it really is gone."

"Gone?" Jasper asked in half fear-half hope.

"Well, not gone gone. It bubbled itself once it realized it didn't want to take shape and hurt anyone. It's in stasis."

Jasper was astonished. "So... the Earth isn't going to be destroyed?"

Rose smiled up at her. "Nope."

Jasper felt a horrible pressure inside her ease and she swayed. She had to lower herself down on one knee because she could no longer hold herself upright as a sense of profound relief stole her strength. "All this time I thought it was still there..." She whispered. She pressed her fingers into the wooden floor.

"Jasper." Rose gasped. "You really thought that it was still active?"

"I thought every one of us was on borrowed time." She breathed, her voice trembling.

Her heart swelled so much it hurt and she squeezed herself tightly to try and ease the pain. She felt tears prick her eyes and she started to laugh. The entire time she had been on Earth she had walked with the certainty that her demise was brewing beneath her. Being underneath Lapis as Malachite, building her pathetic army, every action had been tainted by the fear of death. Every thought had been that she had only the next moment to live. There was no time to stop and reflect until she was poofed in the Beta Kindergarten by three of the gems standing in front of her. Now... now her life stretched before her in an endless line. She couldn't decide which would have been better.

She wanted to scream, cry, rant, but she was still surrounded by enemies. Her laughter was the only outlet she'd allow, so she dug her trembling fingers into her skin and laughed to hide her tears. The Crystal Gems watched silently and Jasper was ashamed to realize she was afraid to look up and see their expressions. She turned away from them and forced herself onto her feet. She dropped her arms and clenched her hands into shaking fists, fighting for control.

"I need a moment." She rasped around the lump in her throat.

"It's okay." Rose told her. "I'll show you around on the beach."

Part of her rebelled at the thought of a witness to her turmoil, but the rest of her knew it would be foolish to think that she'd be left free to her own devices so soon after defecting from her adopted Diamond. What better gem than the one who had started it all to see it through?

Silently, she followed Rose to the door. This time, no one moved to stop them. She ducked through the small entryway and stepping into the cool evening air. When she stood, her whole world rocked. In front of her was the ocean as far as her eyes could see. Her skin tingling, she stepped forwards and leaned on the railing in front of her. She breathed deeply, inhaling the briny scent of the sea. After everything, the ocean had been her first 'home' on Earth. It hadn't been pleasant, but it had been the first real constant she'd known in her life of war. And what Lapis had done didn't outweigh what she herself had done. If she had been here, this 'new start' would have been a disaster. The hydrokinetic gem would never forgive her, and the tall warrior gem knew she would never be able to fight her again.

Thinking about Lapis made her heart twist painfully and begin to beat faster. Where was Lapis? Would she be coming here? A trace of renewed fear lanced through her veins. She shook her head to dislodge the thoughts and forced her face into a blank mask as she felt Rose move up beside her. The tiny gem leaned against the railing, mimicking the tall warrior gem's pose.

"Quite a view, isn't it?"

She nodded mutely, tearing her eyes away from the waves and looking up at the darkening sky above her. They stood in silence for a few minutes as the first stars winked into sight. Their light was reassuring as she slowly began mapping the sky above her. Suddenly, she knew where she was.

"This is where I fought you seriously for the first time." She said quietly.

Rose chuckled nervously. "Or, as I'd like to call it, Home."

"Home." She repeated the word.

Home was a lie. She had no home. It meant nothing to her and yet she felt the strangest sense of longing. Her eyes were drawn back to the dancing waves. Her fingers tightened into the weathered wood of the railing.

"So." Rose began. "Want to look around?" She shrugged, mind full of barely controlled thoughts.

Rose turned and began walking toward a set of steps she hadn't noticed before. Slowly, she followed, almost dragging her feet. She'd only been reformed for a few minutes and already felt as fatigued as if she'd been fighting the whole time she'd been in stasis. Her boots crunched on sand and she started walking, almost mindless, towards the waves lapping at the shore in front of her. She knew that Rose was following her, but at that moment, she didn't care.

She dropped to her knees on the damp sand, just out of reach of the lapping waves. Above her, far away in space, was the world she'd left behind. Behind her, were enemies, old and new. Beneath her, a weapon of phenomenal proportions lay dormant. Before her there was nothing but ocean and sky. What would she do now?

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 **And there is Chapter One! I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought!**

 **And yes, Jasper will eventually learn Steven's name, but logically, he is still Rose to her at this moment in time. Sorry if there was any confusion.**


	2. Chapter 2

Pieces

YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll

Chapter Two

A/N: THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE! Lets jump right in, shall we?

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Jasper's mind felt strangely blank as she kneeled on Earth's sand. She looked, really looked, at the waves lapping only inches from her. Slowly, almost reverently, she reached out her hand. An incoming wave kissed her fingertips softly. She shivered at the cool touch. The sand felt soft, yet course as she pressed her fingers into it lightly. A few inches away, a small pink shell glistened. She saw more, mostly fragments of all different shapes and sizes. Some changed with every wave. There was so much to see, just in this one small patch of Earth. For the first time in her life, she simply let the moment take her.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked softly.

Jasper snatched her fingers back. The moment was broken. "Fine." She snapped, looking back out to the horizon.

"Sorry." Rose whispered. "I didn't mean to make you mad." She snorted, but didn't otherwise reply. After a few long, silent moments, Rose sighed. "I don't know why this is so much harder with you."

Jasper looked over at the diminutive gem and raised an eyebrow. "What is?"

Rose shrugged. "Talking. It was easier with the others."

"Others?"

"Yeah, others. Like Topaz. The Off-Colors. Peridot and Lapis."

Jasper jerked involuntarily when he said Lapis' name. "Is… is Lapis coming here?" She hated how tiny her voice sounded.

Rose tensed. "No. Lapis is… gone."

Jasper jerked fully around. " _Gone_?" She repeated in disbelief. "What do you mean gone?"

Rose backed away a step, hands up. "She left! She … said she didn't want to be caught up in another war." The little Rose's voice was sad.

Jasper gaped. "She left Earth?" Relief and a sadness she couldn't understand warred within her. She looked down, attempting to hide the emotions she knew were playing across her face.

This wasn't like her. It had been a long time before her return to Earth since she had freely shown any emotions, except maybe anger and a fierce joy at her own mayhem. Being here, being held prisoner and beaten time and time again by gems who played by a different set of rules had shaken her and now, nothing was certain. Her lifetime of control had been shattered. Even Lapis, whom she now saw as one of the most powerful gems in existence had run away from this place and the coming conflict. If Lapis had run, what use could a broken Jasper possibly have here? What purpose could she have now?

Distantly, she heard Rose take a step towards her but her mind was trapped in a swirling tomb of broken thoughts. She felt tears prick her eyes again and even the anger that she felt at herself over the display of weakness wasn't enough to push them fully away. She was… lost.

"Look out!" Rose warned.

Jasper looked up in enough time to see a larger waves rolling towards her. She didn't move and the cold water rushed around her, lapping at her thighs and fingers. It was invigorating. The waves would be leaving soon, retreating further down the beach as water chased Earth's moon. Why it happened, she had no idea, but the mystery pulled her thoughts free. Then she realized she could ask now. Rose would know.

"Why does the ocean chase the moon?" She asked, thankful that her voice remained steady.

"What?" Rose sounded perplexed. "Where did that come from?"

Jasper shrugged. "I've wondered for a while now." She murmured, slightly embarrassed.

Rose laughed lightly. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you to ask any questions about Earth. The reason the waters 'chase' the moon is all about gravity. The pull of the moon's gravity pulls the water closer to it. As the Earth turns, the pull changes so the water moves with it. When the sun is high, the water is high, because the moon isn't pulling it away. When the moon is high, the water is low, because the moon pulls it closer."

Jasper hummed. The explanation was simple enough. She knew that stars and planets and their gravitational pulls had effects beyond what was actually seen, but she hadn't realized, or honestly cared, how it would affect the actual surface of the planets beyond what was needed to strategize an attack. It seemed obvious now.

Something about the exchange had made her feel more comfortable in Rose's presence. She wondered briefly if it was a trick, but let the thought go. This was the calmest she had felt since before she'd set foot back on this planet.

They watched in silence as the waves dipped lower and lower, the damp sand shining in the light of the full moon. Around her, little insectoid creatures began emerging from the drying sand and scurrying, incredulously sideways, instead of forwards and back. Most were tiny and very fast, but a few were rather large and slow enough for her to get a good look. They were a range of colors from yellow to white and had two large, intimidating looking bone white claws. She'd seen similar creatures in a variety of sizes and colors, but this was her first time seeing so many at once and her first good look at any of them.

She got up and moved closer to a particularly large fellow who was trundling along as if he had all the time in the world. It seemed so sedate and peaceful that she was very surprised when it stopped moving to flash its claws at her. Its stalk eyes were trained on her as she knelt to get a closer look. It was quite ugly up close, but as it snapped its claws at her, she couldn't help but to smile lightly. It was a fighter.

She poked at it and winced sharply as it immediately clamped onto her finger with a cutting grip. "Stronger than you look, huh?" She asked it as she lifted her finger in an attempt to free it. The creature held on stubbornly until it was dangling in the air by just its vice-like grip on her flesh. She looked back to ask what the creature was only to see Rose watching her with an astonished look on her face. "What?" She asked defensively.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Rose asked tentatively.

Jasper snorted. "Of course, it does." She looked back at the creature pinching her. "What are they?"

"Crabs. Ghost crabs, to be specific."

Jasper chuckled in spite of herself. "No wonder he's so crabby."

Rose surprised her by bursting out laughing. "Good one."

She lowered the angry crab back onto the sand and managed to carefully free her injured finger. He flashed his claws a few more times and then continued down to the water. She stared at her injured digit for a moment before clasping her hand into a fist. She stood and turned to face Rose, pushing aside the feelings of contentment.

"Alright. I've had my moment. What do you want me to do?"

"Do?"

Jasper squared her shoulders. "I know I'm already broken, but you've found a use for all the others. What is my task?"

Rose blinked, brows furrowed. "There isn't one."

Jasper's jaw dropped a bit. "What do you mean? I can still fight!" She said loudly.

Rose's hands came up in a placating gesture. "I'm sure you can, but, I won't ask you to fight for us. When, or if, the time comes that a fight is inevitable, you can still chose to fight or stand down."

Jasper was stunned. Not fight? Could she really go the rest of her life without having to wage war? She looked down, heart sinking. Peridot had already said it; fighting was what she was made to do. Whether or not Rose said she could chose, her nature would always chose for her wouldn't it?

"Nice try, Rose, but you already know I don't have a choice."

Rose smiled wryly. "Of course you do. Kind've like you did earlier when the rest attacked you. You chose to stand your ground and not fight."

Her heart skipped a beat as she absorbed this information. "I did, didn't I?" She asked softly.

"Yep!" Rose chirped. "And by the way, I know I've told you before but, I'm not Rose Quartz. That was my mom."

Jasper narrowed her eyes. "I don't understand that. You have a Rose Quartz gem and all the others were either detained or shattered. The only Rose Quartz alive has to be the Rose Quartz that shattered my diamond. I don't understand why you insist on keeping to this façade. I am loyal to you now. Even if my Diamond were to walk onto this very beach and call me back, I would not go. Once a Jasper pledges herself, she is pledged until she is broken. I'm being honest with you. Don't I deserve the same?"

"Aw, Jasper. That really sweet." The tall warrior blushed as Rose blinked up at her, before continuing. "I know that it must be hard to comprehend with you not knowing much about humans, but… we… reproduce differently than gems. Gems are made, humans are born." Rose stopped, gesturing wildly as if grasping for words. "Think of it this way, I am like a fusion of my dad and my mom, but I'm not able to split into my two halves because it's not really fusion, it's something more. Something permanent. When I was born, my Mom gave up her physical form so that I could exist. I'm the only gem/human hybrid in existence. And it's really scary sometimes."

Jasper felt her heart wrench strangely when Rose started to tear up. "So… the Rose Quartz that shattered Pink Diamond is... gone?"

"She stopped existing fourteen years ago. The day I was born." The little Rose said sadly. After a moment of heavy silence, the tiny gem took a big breath. "But it's okay. I still have my dad and the Crystal Gems and my band and my friends and Lars and the Off Colors and Connie and Lion."

Jasper didn't understand half of the last run on statement, but she sensed that the little Rose was trying to fight the sadness that the conversation had brought. "Why would she just… stop existing?" She asked lightly.

The little Rose blinked up at her. "Because she wanted me and she loved my dad and Earth and everything else that's here. And me. She loved me too. Even before I was born, she loved me."

"Love?" Again, Jasper was confused. What was love?

She opened her mouth to ask when the sand at her feet exploded. She was pushed back by the force, but managed to keep her feet. Through the falling sand, she saw Little Rose hadn't been so lucky. She instinctively made a move to go to the fallen gem, when another blast had her dodging backwards. She turned to see the source of the attack and saw an enormously large serpent a little ways out into the ocean. Her eyes narrowed. It was a mutation. She glanced back at Little Rose. The rebel gem was only just getting to her feet when another blast was launched their way. Jasper immediately moved in front of the small gem and struck back with a sharp blow to send Little Rose flying out of the line of fire. Sand exploded around her, but she stood firm, taking the brunt of the blast.

" _Steven_!" Multiple voices cried. Jasper didn't look to see which of the Crystal Gems was rushing to their aid; instead, she dashed sand from her eyes and started after the mutated serpent.

"Don't let her escape!" She recognized Peridot's voice.

To her utter surprise, Amethyst's whip snapped around her ankles and she toppled onto her hands and knees on the sand. She rolled over, fury rippling through her. "What are you doing?" She screamed.

"You won't get away with hurting Steven!" Amethyst yelled, snapping her whip back. Peridot stood beside her, face stony. Metal cans floated in the air above her upstretched hands.

Jasper gaped at the two of them, utterly flabbergasted. "What? I didn't!"

She looked over to see Pearl and Garnet helping Little Rose off the sand. "Amethyst, let her go!" The hybrid called.

"But-"

"Just do it." Garnet's voice was firm.

Jasper resisted the urge to sneer at the small amethyst as she stood and instead took off into the water to chase the now retreating serpent. It had a good lead, but Jasper was an adept at swimming now. She put her hands above her head, forming them into a point and used her powerful leg and core muscles to propel herself through the dark water. She was gaining on it, but it was a slow gain. Seconds turned into minutes and still, they swam on. Without warning, the mutation suddenly began diving deeper. As it disappeared into the inky black sea, beyond the reach of moonlight, she felt a trickle of foreboding roll up her spine. Still, she pointed her body downwards and went after it. How deep she swam, she had no way of judging, but the black waters seemed to stretch for an eternity to every side.

Out of nowhere, a something struck her from the side. The breath she had been holding burst out of her and, though she didn't have to breathe, she felt acutely aware of the loss of air. Futilely, she cast around in the darkness to try and see what had struck her. She was almost certain it had been the mutation, but had no way of actually knowing. Another blow struck, this one from behind her, pushing her forward in the darkness. Before she could recover, another blow landed, hitting the same side as it had before. Instinctively, she readied for a strike from the other side. She was ready when it landed and managed to wrap her arms around her attacker. Immediately, it began writhing in her arms. She tightened her grip on its slender form and was astonished when it started to glow. A three inch wide neon blue stripe flared to life on its side, illuminating its nine foot length. More blue lights flared where its eyes should have been, giving the eerie illusion that they floated, disembodied from the stripe. To her astonishment and dread, more pairs of stripes and eerily glowing eyes flared to life one by one until she was surrounded. She counted seven in total, including the one she was still grappling with.

Unwilling to be daunted by their numbers, she squeezed the one she held even harder, using all of her strength. It screeched and as it tried to bite at her, she saw its gem in the back of its throat, protected by three rows of jagged teeth. _Perfect_. She thought grimly, having to use her grip on the creature to dodge its bite. The crab's painful pinch would feel like a nip after what she was about to have to do. It moved to bite her again and she released it with one arm. Instead of moving away from its strike, she reached out as fast as she could. Her hand clamped onto its gem as its teeth began to close on her arm. They dug in, leaving a pattern of pain on her arm as it poofed. She cried out and water rushed into her mouth. For a moment, she panicked as the instinct to breathe kicked in. It took her a few precious moments to calm herself. Only a lifetime of battle instincts saved her from the rush of another serpent.

Having nowhere better to put it, she dropped the already poofed gem into her shirt. It would be a race against time to take the rest out and get back to the others before it began to reform. They seemed infuriated by the fate of their comrade and all of them began rushing her in twos and threes. Several more blows struck her, spinning her in the water so violently, she had no idea which way was up.

One was suddenly snapping in her face and she grasped its tooth filled jaws. Painfully, she wrenched them apart with such force, it poofed. She grasped its gem, letting it slide down her shirt to join the first. As another rushed her head, she ducked and managed to grasp its tail. She swung it around her, not letting go. Faster and faster they went around, until she had created a whirlpool in the sea. She saw the others trying to get past it. One was knocked so violently into another that both poofed under the force. She let go of the tail she held with one hand and grasped the sinking gems.

To her dismay, the other two began to flee. _I won't let you get away_! She thought fiercely. She released the now weakened gem she'd been spinning and it cut through the water to strike one of the fleeing mutations like a rocket; both of them poofed. She grasped their gems as she went by. Her shirt was now so heavy, it tented below her, but she didn't let it slow her down. A jutting coral was briefly illuminated by the streaking serpent. Jasper reached for where it had been and scraped her knuckles on the coarse structure. A large chunk broke off with the force. She grabbed it and kept swimming.

Without warning, the creature turned on her and she was suddenly face to face with its jagged teeth. Instinctively, she brought the chunk of coral down on its head. It lolled sideways, dazed and it was a simple matter for Jasper to reach in and pluck out its gem.

With a sense of finality, she dropped it to join the others and let herself float down to the bottom of the sea a few feet below. With the mutations poofed, the inky blackness was again complete and she was more than ready to return to the surface. She kicked off the sandy bottom with all of her strength, rocketing upwards with all the force she was able. With a burst of water, she finally reached the surface and took a huge, ragged breath. She hated the sensation of not being able to breathe. She looked up and tried to place where she was in the ocean and was astonished to see a huge purple machine flying towards her. She forced herself to do a double take as she realized the 'machine' had eyes and was frowning. Little Rose was leaning out its side.

"Get closer to her, Amethyst." She heard Little Rose cry.

The machine was Amethyst? The purple gem flew closer, almost too close. Jasper had to duck her head back beneath the surface as of the legs of Amethyst's form almost hit her. "Grab on." The purple gem's words were harsh.

Jasper narrowed her eyes, but Little Rose was gesturing earnestly, so she did as she was told. She awkwardly crouched inside Amethyst's form as she began speeding as quickly as she could back towards the beach. The thought was disturbing. They rode in a charged silence for a few long moments.

"You're hurt!" Little Rose suddenly exclaimed, pulling her from her thoughts. The small gem surprised her entirely by licking the palm of one hand and reaching for the injury that the serpent's bite had left on her arm.

She jerked away. "I'm fine." She started to reach into her shirt for the gems. "They'll reform soon."

"They?!"

"Hold on! We're coming in for a landing!" Amethyst cried.

Jasper clutched tightly to the floor and ceiling, forgetting the gems, as the purple quartz began to dive towards the ground at a breakneck speed. Despite the situation, she felt a thrill at the incredible speed and couldn't hold back a cry of delight. Little Rose was screaming too, but didn't sound happy at all. The beach was approaching at a dizzying speed and she instinctively readied herself for the crash. Without warning, Amethyst suddenly shape shifted back to her normal form, leaving Jasper and Little Rose to plummet the last ten feet or so onto the sand. Jasper landed on her feet and reached out almost without thinking to catch Little Rose safely in her arms.

"Steven!" Several voices cried at once.

"Amethyst, you could have hurt him!" Pearl cried as the purple gem floated effortlessly down to land beside them.

"He's _fine_!" She crossed her arms.

"Thanks to Jasper." Garnet pointed out.

"Oh, I shouldn't have eaten those doughnuts." Little Rose groaned from her arms.

The gems in her shirt began to rattle and all eyes were suddenly on the bulge in her shirt. "Is that…?" Peridot started to ask.

"They're trying to reform!" Little Rose recovered instantly and leaped from her arms. "Quick! Give them here!"

Jasper wasted no time, spilling the now glowing gems onto the sand. The others gasped but Jasper paid them no mind. She readied herself to fight should one reform, but Little Rose managed to safely bubble each one before they could take shape.

"Seven!" Little Rose exclaimed. "I can't believe you were able to fight them all."

She scoffed. "I told you I could still fight."

"Let's send these to the temple." Garnet said, reaching for one of the bubbles.

Pearl stepped forward and grabbed one as well. Amethyst yawned and the slender gem glared at her. The purple gem ignored her and instead moved closer to Jasper. "Those are some mean bites."

Jasper looked down at her arm. It was actually worse than she'd thought. All three sets were deep and oozing blood. Her arm felt strangely numb, which she knew was a bad sign. She flexed her fingers experimentally. She could still move them.

"I'll heal."

"You should let Steven heal that."

Jasper looked down at Little Rose. "Why do they call you that?"

Little Rose blinked up at her in confusion. "Cause it's my name."

"But you're a Rose Quartz. Just like I'm a Jasper and she's an Amethyst." She pointed at the short quartz beside her.

Little Rose smiled up at her. "Remember how I said I was like a fusion, but not?"

Jasper blinked and glanced at Garnet. "Yes."

"Well, the gem part of me is a Rose Quartz, but the human side of me is called Steven."

"So all humans are Steven?"

All of them laughed and Jasper felt a wave of embarrassment. "Oh, to be so naïve again." Peridot said wistfully.

"No, Jasper. That's my name. Humans have names. Our parents pick them for us. Sometimes we can change them, but usually, we are who we are. And for me, that's Steven."

"And you're a he?"

Little Rose, or Steven, nodded. "Yep."

"Ok then. Steven." She tried out the name.

"You called?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes. "Now, let's get those bites treated." He proceeded to lick his palm and reach for her.

"How about no?" She asked in disgust.

Garnet caught her eye. "Trust him."

Just in the little bit of interaction she had had with the Crystal Gems, she had noted that all of them seemed to defer to the fusion's judgment. Remembering how soundly said fusion had beaten her, she decided to do the same; at least, for the moment. She held still as Steven gently slathered his saliva onto her arm. For a moment, there was nothing but the unpleasant sensation of it cooling on her flesh, but then, to her astonishment, her arm began to sparkle oddly. The pain faded and moments later, the wound was gone. She touched the flesh, half expecting to touch wounds she could no longer see or feel, but she felt only smooth, unblemished flesh.

"You heal… with _spit_?!" She exclaimed.

Amethyst howled with laughter. "I wish I had a camera! The look on your face is priceless!"

A flash burst from the side and Jasper looked over to see Peridot holding her strange device. "Way ahead of you."

"Guys!" Steven whined, though he sounded amused. "Don't tease her!" The two snickering gems ignored him. Suddenly, he yawned.

Pearl stepped towards him and laid a hand on his head. "Alright. It's well past your bedtime." She told him gently.

"Aw! But, Pearl!" He whined.

"No buts." Garnet interjected. "You know you'll have more fun tomorrow if you get a good night's rest."

"Good point." He admitted grudgingly. He looked up at Jasper. "Come on. You can use the couch."

She blinked at him, having no idea what he was talking about, but followed anyway. The rest of them followed suit. It was… strange walking beside the rebels she had been against for so long. She was surrounded by the most wanted gems in the universe, watching as they interacted with one another. It was a surreal experience.

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And there is Chapter Two! How'd you like it?

Thanks so much for your response to the story. I honestly wasn't sure how well this story would be received. Glad to know there are some likeminded individuals out there and people who are so open minded.

And just think: We have only _just_ scratched the surface! :D Keep those thoughts coming loves. It is very inspiring to hear from you all.


	3. Chapter 3

Pieces

 **YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter Three**

 **A/N: Got an unexpected off day and decided to use the time to edit this chapter and get it out to you guys as a treat and a BIG thank you for your outstanding responses and reviews. Thank you so much for your continued support and know that you guys are helping me more than you know.**

 **And again, this story takes place right around the time in the show of the 'Pool Hopping' episode. Nothing after that has an impact on this story, only events in or before that episode as that around the time I had started writing. That being said, let's continue our adventure!**

 **Read on, Loves!**

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Jasper felt as if something had shifted as she walked with the Crystal Gems towards their home. Almost without thought, she let the other's walk up before her. It would be some time before the peaceful beach would seem as peaceful as it had at first and it made her feel on guard. When they reentered the house, Steven pointed at a cushioned bench. She sat down on it when he motioned for her to do so. "It's a little small for you, but it will work for tonight until we can figure out something better. Okay?"

"Okay?" She said tentatively, having no idea what the 'couch' was supposed to work for.

He rummaged in drawer nearby and gathered a few articles of clothing and then went to open one of the doors at the back of the house. To her astonishment, a strange creature emerged and darted into the main of the house, barking madly. It was orange and looked more plant than animal. Whatever it was, it was certainly unhappy to see her. It stood at her feet growling.

"What is that?" She asked, uncertain.

"Pumpkin!" Peridot called, sounding scared. "Get back!"

"Pumpkin?" Jasper repeated. At the sound of her voice, the small creature stopped growling and looked at her oddly. "What is it?" She asked no one in particular.

"She's mine!" The ferrokinetic gem darted forward and picked it up. To Jasper's surprise, the creature almost immediately struggled free and came back to stare at her. "Pumpkin, no!"

"Calm down." Garnet said, putting a hand on her shoulder when she went to reach for the creature again.

"But-" She started to protest, but Garnet shushed her.

Jasper was aware of the exchange but a majority of her being was focused on the creature staring at her. She heard an odd purring sound from beside her and looked over to see another creature there. She was startled at it sudden appearance.

It was furry and had a scar over one eye. The remaining eye was a deep blue that seemed to stare into her soul. She was unable to look away as it moved closer to her. She didn't feel threatened, just uncertain as it touched her lightly with its nose. Then, the furry creature ran its side along her arm, making its strange purring noise as it did so. Something in her drove her to respond and she reached out to it. It sniffed her fingers delicately and then rubbed its face against her large hand. She stroked it as it continued to rub against her. Its softness delighted her and its rhythmic purrs were mesmerizing. The creature at her feet whimpered.

She looked down at it as it pawed gently at her leg. "Is this what you wanted?" She asked it as she reached down with her other hand and stroked its back.

It arced into her, making a happy sound, before jumping up onto the couch and snuggling against the opposite side of the furry purring one. She laughed lightly. Its texture was smooth, and it was surprisingly warm. It seemed to especially enjoy being scratched around the green, stem-like protrusion on its back. She had almost never been more thankful that she was ambidextrous as she continued to rub both of them. It was surprisingly soothing.

"Aw! They like you!" Steven cooed as he emerged from the room Pumpkin had come from.

"This one is Pumpkin." She said, patting the orange creature. "What's this one?"

"That's Cat-Steven. Garnet named her."

Jasper looked up from stroking it, glancing at the fusion, before focusing on him. "So you can name other things?"

"Oh, yeah. People name everything. It helps us tell things apart."

"Hmm." She contemplated.

"Okay. Time for sleep. Jasper will be fine." Garnet assured him as he went to reply, scooping him up into her arms. "Bedtime." He yawned and let her carry him up the stairs, even though Jasper knew the boy was more than capable of doing it himself. She leaned forward and watched the tall fusion tuck him into the covers as Pearl came to stand beside the bed.

"Have good dreams, Steven. That's an order." The pale gem joked. He chuckled as she leaned in to kiss his forehead.

The tall fusion leaned down to kiss him as well, ruffling his hair. "And always remember that we love you."

"I love you, too." He yawned.

Out of nowhere, a plastic wrapped muffin landed on his stomach. They looked around to see Amethyst smirking from the kitchen area. "In case you need a midnight snack."

Pearl shook her head. "Amethyst!" She hissed in exasperation, but everyone could see she was fighting a smile.

Everyone but Jasper laughed. She felt oddly excluded, like they were somehow in a place she wasn't, even though she was right there. It felt… lonely. The feeling confused her.

She sat back as the two gems started down the stairs. "Well, I'm beat. I think it's time for a nap." Amethyst yawned.

Peridot yawned too. "I second that. C'mon, Pumpkin!" She called, patting her leg.

The creature stood from the couch and shook itself. It looked up at Jasper and before she could think to stop it, it stuck out its pulpy tongue and licked her on the cheek. She shuddered in disgust at the sticky, warm sensation. Snickering and giggles erupted around her.

"Gross." She complained, wiping it off on her shoulder.

"Here." She looked up to see Pearl offering her a small towel. "You can wipe it off with this. It'll ruin the couch."

She took it, but before she could thank her, the slender gem was already walking away. She looked down, feeling the snub, more than she thought she should have. It wasn't like she could blame the pearl. When she looked back up, she spotted Garnet looking in her direction. She squared her shoulders under the scrutiny, but the fusion didn't respond. Resolutely, she wiped the goo from Pumpkin off her skin and balled the soiled cloth up and laid it on the floor near to her, not knowing what else to do.

Cat-Steven, who had remained near her the entire time, rubbed against her again, demanding more attention. Jasper smirked down at the furry creature and began to stroke her again as the Crystal Gems left the room, Peridot disappearing into the room and the Crystal Gems one-by-one through a strange door behind the warp pad. Cat-Steven purred loudly and eventually ended up curled in a blissful ball beside her on the couch. As her purrs faded into sleep, Jasper found the house was eerily silent.

She sighed and leaned back and tried to process the events since her reforming. It seemed hard to fathom that so much had happened in so little a space of time. She had effectively defected. She had essentially lost her home. The Cluster that she had been almost certain would be her end was gone. And … Lapis was gone. The painful feeling of loss was back and she pushed it away. It was harder this time, but she had so much else to think about that she was able to change her thought process quickly enough.

Was she a Crystal Gem now? Earlier on the beach, she had jumped to Rose - no, Steven's- defense without even thinking about it. She hadn't even thought once of shattering the mutations for daring to attack her and instead had dutifully brought back their gems without thought. She hadn't even been ordered to. She'd done it of her own volition. Steven had completely gained her loyalty within the hour and it felt… right. Everything he'd explained made sense. She still felt an animosity towards Rose, but she was aware now that Steven and Rose were different, even if he was still a Rose Quartz.

Her mind was a swirl of mixed emotions. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She found herself panting as sweat beaded on her skin. The walls seemed like they were closing in on her and she suddenly couldn't breathe. With a will of iron, she reigned in her rising panic. She stood and forced herself to walk slowly to the door leading outside.

As soon as she stepped out into the moonlight, she felt better, even though the pressure inside didn't ease all the way. She was still struggling to breathe, still sweating and shaking, but she no longer felt like it was going to crush her. There was a limit to the pain now and she could endure.

She stood staring out into the ocean, riding the storm inside her, until dawn tinted the sky an array of pinks. The birds awoke and began their calling, flashing like lines of white in the sky as they dove in the rising shallows for crabs too slow in burying themselves. A boat sailed out from the shore. A short man in a long yellow coat and hat looked happily towards the rising sun as he sailed out. He soon faded from sight, like the sea had swallowed him up.

Sometime in all her observing, her mind had stilled. She rolled her shoulders, trying to ease the tension of the long night. Her stretch was interrupted by a sudden roar and a strong blow to the side as something huge and pink tackled her. It was Steven's lion.

"Get off me!" She screamed, trying to hold him at bay without hurting him, because she knew it would upset Steven if she did so.

The angry beast snapped his jaws inches from her face. The door of the house slammed open and everyone ran out. " _Lion!_ " Steven screamed. He dashed over and buried his hands into the lion's thick mane. "Lion, stop! Jasper's a friend now."

The lion blinked down at her, teeth still bared. Slowly, as if very reluctant to do so, he allowed Steven to push him back. Jasper lay still for a moment, eyeing the irritated beast. "Is he going to jump me when I move?"

"No." Steven assured her. "He's just unsure. He'll get used to you in no time." The beast huffed, as if to contradict him, but Jasper took the boy at his word and got up.

She brushed herself off and stared at the still agitated lion. "At least he's serious about protecting you." She admitted grudgingly. Then she laughed, realizing the beast was in the same role as she herself and all of the other gems. He was a guardian of Steven and Earth. "No wonder no one ever got to Rose. Everything on this planet seems to want to fight for you. There must have been even more protecting her."

She saw Pearl look down sadly and Garnet sighed in a melancholy way. "Love is a strong motivator."

Jasper tilted her head, missing whatever point the fusion was trying to make. Steven yawned hugely, drawing her attention back to him. "Alright. I think it's time for breakfast."

"Alright!" Amethyst cheered. "I was just getting hungry."

Steven patted Lion. "You wanna snack too, buddy?" He cooed. The large beast yawned, seemingly disinterested. His eyes were still on Jasper. Steven looked up at her. "Want some breakfast? I'm thinking pancakes."

Jasper shook her head. "I don't have any idea what that is."

"Oh, right. Well, it's food. You eat them. They're really good. Put some syrup on them and some whipped cream. Yummy."

She nodded, though she didn't really understand. "I don't really eat."

"Well, that's okay. You don't have to." The other gems made their way back inside, but Steven hung back when he realized that Jasper wasn't following. "You okay, Jasper?" He asked quietly.

Jasper nodded. "He didn't hurt me."

"No, I don't mean physically. Just… you in general."

She narrowed her eyes. "I'm fine."

"You know you can tell me if something is wrong, right?"

She turned away. "I'll remember that it was a request and not an order."

He sighed heavily. "Okay. I'll be inside if you need me."

She didn't respond, holding herself rigid until she heard the door click shut. Then she let her shoulders sag with a sigh. Every time she felt like she had a firm grasp on what was going on, something new happened. It was too much to process. The waves on shore felt like they were crashing in her ears. She felt like she was suffocating again and shook her head to try and dislodge the illusion. She forced herself to inhale deeply, but the sensation didn't go away. She pushed through it, continuing to take deep, slow breaths and gradually felt herself begin to calm. These strange attacks had happened to her before, but never so frequently as in the last few hours.

It was those dark, endless nights after a particularly rough mission, when she was alone in one or another of the ships shooting to and fro in the endless star filled expanses of space, that had always been hardest for her. Not because she felt remorse or any other lesser emotion like that, but because she always knew she was one wrong move away from being just as obsolete as her opponents.

Of all the other Jaspers created, she was the only one who was 'perfect'; she who was the biggest, the strongest, and the smartest. Among the other Jaspers, she was an anomaly. She was a freak.

On every mission she was sent on, she always felt it could be her last. Yet her nature made her crave the excitement of a challenge. The thrill of fighting for her life, warred with the absolute fear of being shattered for her nonconformance. She found herself working harder, pushing further, becoming more and more ruthless and almost thirsting for the fight, because every time she won, she felt less like a failure and more like the warrior she had been meant to be. She found herself rising through the ranks, gaining more and more responsibility, thinking that she would be safer. Until she had realized that the more she shined, the more attention she received and more attention was not what she had wanted.

Missions became harder and more frequent. She was sent farther and given more and more difficult tasks. Always, she managed to surpass her enemies. Never before had she experienced true failure. And then she had been sent here.

One failure after another had met her since the moment she had brought these gems aboard that ship. One tiny miscalculation had begun her downfall. She had been right all along; she was nothing more than a freak. And these gems!

They, with their fusing and utter defiance of every law she had sworn to uphold under the diamonds, were on an entirely different playing field. They stood apart. It was like they weren't even their gems classifications anymore. And Rose Quartz, leader of Crystal Gems and founder of the first true rebellion in their history, wasn't even a gem at all. She had fused her being with that of a human in a process the warrior gem still didn't fully understand and now no longer existed outside a memory and the gem of her offspring, Steven. Every gem that touched this place did things beyond her comprehension.

Even she, Jasper, had defied the law within hours of meeting the hybrid. She had fused with Lapis. That had been the biggest mistake of her life. Underestimating the hydrokinetic gem had been a mistake that would haunt her forever. She had seen firsthand what Lapis Lazuli were capable of. They could change the face of any planet they wished so long as they had access to water. She had seen them do incredible things; clearing mountains to make way for Bismuth-made monuments to their diamonds. They were a quiet and industrious gem.

But this Lapis Lazuli was different from the rest. Her false imprisonment in the mirror for all those centuries had warped her; changed her. She had become something dark and untamable. And she was powerful; the most powerful gem the warrior gem had ever encountered. Jasper had had no chance against her. Those long months of being trapped by her were the worst of her life to this moment. And yet, those months had begun the change in her.

She felt a bond with the twisted Lapis Lazuli. Both of them were freaks in their own way. Both of them were used to surviving on the edge of fear and desperation. Both of them were held prisoner in a terrifying existence. Lapis had hated her and she had hated Lapis. They had raged against each other in a battle of wills that felt as if it should tear the very fabric of time and space around them. The entire universe could have burned around them, so intent as they were on each other. Lapis had always been the stronger of the two. She had had the power to hold Jasper down. But Jasper had made her fight for every second of her control. Not once in their battle of fusion had the warrior gem ever given up, even when she was broken. To fight was to live and she had not been ready to die.

Both of their minds began to slip. She remembered seeing Lapis' memories and feeling Lapis see hers. Torture and imprisonment. War and chaos. Hatred and… something Jasper didn't understand. Even in all of her hardness and fury, there had been something soft inside of Lapis; something hidden behind a wall of steel that the warrior gem could not understand or penetrate, no matter how hard she tried. That soft place gave Lapis an even greater strength. It had given her power over her own fear of being trapped even after she had learned about the Cluster. Something she was fighting for. Something Jasper did not have.

Steven. They hybrid had broken their stalemate. That soft feeling was centered on him. Jasper had known that Steven had been the one to free Lapis from the mirror. He had healed her gem and made her whole again, but the feeling Lapis felt towards him was more than a sense of loyalty or gratitude. The blue gem had wanted to protect him so badly that she had been willing to break Jasper over it and spend their last few months before the Cluster destroyed them in this horrid state, and yet his arrival had triggered something in Lapis. Something that had made her stop fighting against the true fusion of their minds. And then, all at once, they were Malachite and they were free. She remembered the joy that Malachite felt in glorying at her own power. Neither she, nor Lapis had truly been in charge. She remembered wondering why she didn't feel as if she should be. She had been content to just be free.

Even after they were free from fighting each other, the depths had felt safest. The darkness at the bottom of the ocean made them feel safe. Their war was over. They were no longer fighting. Jasper was as broken now as Lapis was and yet, they didn't unfuse. They hadn't even tried to escape. Both of them had accepted their fate and Malachite was content with it.

They rose from the depths to breathe sometimes, though they didn't have to. Sometimes the sky was star filled and sometimes it was a clear blue. Sometimes the sky raged with a heavy storm so that the rain and water melded the sky and sea together and it felt like everything must be made of water. And then sometimes in the quiet, one of their minds would begin to burn with some inner turmoil and Malachite would draw it out and lash out at anything around her. She had taken their ruthlessness and anger and had channeled it away from themselves.

She remembered the Melon People and how easy they were to terrorize. They reminded her of Steven, but not enough to still her hand. As long as Malachite focused on their terror, she was safe from their own. And then, one day, the Crystal Gems had come. Malachite had raged at them, drawing out their own rage and terror. She had a power to rival any on this planet. She would have beaten them and shattered them and been truly free, but the impossible had happened. The Melon folk had joined the fight. One in particular, reminded Lapis so much of Steven that she could not lash out. And suddenly, his face was everywhere and that soft feeling was back and it was just as strong as before. And just like that, they were beaten. She remembered Malachite taking the final blow and slipping into darkness.

She remembered waking and felt herself shudder at the memory. She had been buried alive. Dirt and rock were all around her and the darkness was absolute. She could not move and she could not breathe and she was utterly alone. It had been just like her very first moments of life. She had been replanted. Her terror had blasted every other thought from her mind. How she managed to dig her way out, she didn't fully remember, but she did remember her first glimpse of the sun. That first true breath had been the sweetest of her life since her very first.

Remembering that sweet moment of freedom finally stilled her heart. She could see what was in front of her again. Her other senses returned to normal one by one. The lapping waves were no longer crashing in her ears and the smell of the ocean was no longer choking her. The wind gusted suddenly and she leaned into it a bit, letting the delightful feel of it playing through her hair chase the last of the bad feeling away. That was the best part of being in an atmosphere, even if she didn't know why exactly it happened.

She sighed heavily and something beside her sighed too. With a start, she looked over and saw Steven's lion staring at her. She had not known that the beast had remained outside. It was a little scary thinking about being so defenseless next to the large animal who had attacked her so fiercely. It wasn't like her to be so unaware of her surroundings. He moved towards her silently and looked her in the eyes. He was almost as tall as she was.

She looked into the great beast's eyes and saw a greater comprehension than she had realized. Though she had known before that he was no normal creature, his eyes burned with the deeper intelligence of a much more sentient being. He looked and he understood and she had inadvertently shown him her pain. The thought was like a dagger to her heart. She remained frozen under his knowing stare, not knowing what to do. Slowly, as if he were afraid of spooking her, he raised one giant paw and pressed it to her chest, right over her heart. Then he purred. The deep sound filled the air for a moment and then he turned away. He sat beside her and looked out over the ocean as if nothing had transpired. She stood frozen for a moment, before turning to look out at it as well. The sky had finished changing colors and was blazing a brilliant shade of blue.

After a few moments, she wondered if Lion, like Pumpkin and Cat-Steven, wanted to be stroked. His mane looked like it would be soft to the touch. She reached towards him and saw him give her a sidelong look.

"May I?" She asked.

He blinked at her and then closed his eyes. She took that as a yes and gently ran her fingers through a patch of the long, pink fur. The texture was smooth, yet coarse and not quite as soft as she'd hoped, but as her fingers moved deeper with each stroke, she found that the fur nearest his skin did have that delightful softness she'd been expecting. The great beast purred strongly as she scratched and rubbed and petted his head and neck. She scratched behind his ears and under his chin, loving the way his fur changed in texture with every new spot. Slowly, he sank and she sank with him until she was sitting on the deck with the almost boneless Lion's head in her lap. The sound of the beast's thundering purrs drowned out even the sound of the waves. He was on his back, head lolled to the side and paws resting on his chest when Steven walked back outside.

"I think my heart just popped from the cute." He squeaked, eyes huge.

Jasper chuckled. "I think we've reached an understanding."

"Told you so." He came to stand beside her, reaching down to stroke the still purring lion's mane. Then he yawned. "Man. I may need a nap today. I didn't expect to be up this early."

Jasper smirked. "Next time I get nearly eaten, I promise I'll do it quietly."

Steven burst out laughing. "Well, I wouldn't go that far. Come to think of it, that's the second time you've almost been eaten since you reformed."

Before Jasper could respond, the door slammed open with a bang. "Make that _three_ times!" Amethyst crowed as she stepped outside. She had a fat roll of several pancakes in her hand that were steadily dripping syrup. As they watched, she opened her mouth wide and ate it in a single bite. She smirked around her distended cheeks and licked the syrup from her fingers with a relish. She swallowed loudly. "Ready to get owned?" She challenged.

Jasper's eyes narrowed. Was the tiny amethyst _actually_ challenging her? She smirked and gently moved Lion's head from her lap, before standing and brushing off her pants. "You're on!" She responded with a yell.

"You guys are gonna spar?" Steven asked excitedly. Both quartzes nodded. He cheered and ran for the door. "Hey, guys! Jasper and Amethyst are gonna spar!"

" _ **What**_?!" Several voices exclaimed. A clamor arose as they all rushed outside.

"Your move, small fry." Jasper taunted.

Amethyst didn't respond to the jibe and instead smirked wider. "Let's do this!" She yelled and pulled her whip from her gem. Jasper tensed and lifted her head with a haughty jerk as she materialized her helmet. Amethyst snapped her flailed whip back and sent it flying towards the tall warrior gem. Jasper stood her ground and prepared herself for the blow.

" _Stop_!" Pearl exclaimed.

Amethyst barely managed to snap her whip back in time. " _Pearl_!"She drew out the gem's name in a whine. "What's your deal?"

"Yeah, Pearl. What's up?" Steven sounded disappointed.

Pearl stepped forward, frowning. "If you two are going to do this can you at least take it down to the beach? I like having an intact home."

"Actually, that's a pretty good point." Steven conceded.

"Yeah, that wouldn't have been pleasant." Garnet agreed.

Pearl looked over at her. "Then why didn't you say something?"

Garnet shrugged. "Sometimes it's fun to just let it happen."

Pearl rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Sometimes I feel like the only sane one around here."

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever."

Jasper shrugged. "I don't care where we fight. I'm still gonna win."

Amethyst smirked again. "We'll see about that!"

"To the beach!" Steven yelled, pointing dramatically.

Jasper fell in behind him as he started to the stairs. Amethyst was walking with a confidence she hadn't had before. She seemed very sure of herself. The tall warrior gem smirked. This was going to be fun.

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 **Thank you again for your continued support! Don't forget to leave me a comment letting me know your thoughts, good or bad. I simply ADORE hearing from you and your support makes our journey all the sweeter. Help me make this adventure a fun one!**

 **LOVES AND SQUEE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Pieces**

 **YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter 4**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading and reviewing. You guys are amazing. I love how some of you keep trying to guess what is about to happen. It makes it so much fun!**

 **Enough with the chatter though. Let's get to it! Read on, loves!**

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Steven led them down the stairs and around an outcropping of rock. The stone made a natural curve inwards and the wall was pockmarked with craters. There were a few large stones, but the rest was flat. It was a perfect impromptu arena. She and Amethyst took positions about ten feet apart and the others stood towards the sea, leaving them caged by the rock and each other.

"Should we set up some rules?" Steven asked.

"Yeah. _Don't hold back_!" Amethyst yelled. With no further warning, she struck out with her whip.

Jasper had to force herself not to flinch as the blow struck. It stung much more than the last time she'd been hit by the weapon. Too many blows might actually be problematic. "Cheap blows, Amethyst?" She asked.

The purple gem's eyes narrowed as she scowled. All manner of playfulness was gone and Jasper realized this might not be the lighthearted spar she'd been expecting. "Weren't you the one who said to do whatever it takes to win?" Amethyst asked, striking out again.

Jasper sidestepped the blow with only a hair's breadth to spare. The amethyst was faster too. "You're finally getting it then?"

"I've worked a lot harder since Beta! I can beat you now." Amethyst cried, slashing her whip so fast it was almost invisible.

This time Jasper could not dodge it completely, only managing to move so that the blow was glancing. It still stung smartly, even more than the last. "Then _prove_ it!" She taunted, moving closer. "Show me how strong you've become!" She wanted to see the power Amethyst had to offer now.

"Wait! I thought you guys were sparring!" Steven yelled. "You shouldn't fight each other!" Both of them ignored him. Jasper was still treating this as a sparring match, even if Amethyst wasn't. Maybe the purple quartz was only pretending to escalate?

Amethyst yelled inarticulately and struck out again. Jasper deliberately stood still and let the weapon hit her. It cracked against her flesh and sent a bolt of pain through her. She was actually forced back a step with the power behind the blow.

"Felt that one, didn't you?" The purple quartz taunted.

Jasper hid her surprise and smirked. With a touch of arrogance, she brushed off the spot she had struck as if it were dirty. The gesture had the effect she thought it would and made the purple gem even angrier. She narrowed her eyes. Amethyst was letting herself get too emotionally invested in the match. "My turn." She growled. If Amethyst wanted it to escalate, then escalate she would.

She braced her feet in the sand and charged forward with a yell. She crossed the distance between them in three bounding steps and got low. Amethyst was wide open, not attempting to guard herself at all. Jasper took full advantage of this; Amethyst needed to learn that guarding was just as important as attacking. As she swung her fist upwards, she lifted up with her legs, using her entire body's worth of force to send her opponent flying with a fierce uppercut to the chin. The purple gem cried out as her body arced through the air. The tall warrior darted forward and slammed her elbow into the flying gem's chest. Amethyst's breath was forced out of her lungs with the force and she crashed down into the sand. Jasper danced back to give her opponent room to breathe. Ending it now would be too easy.

"Amethyst!" Peridot cried. She made to run to her.

"Stay back!" The purple gem rasped as she struggled to rise. "This is my fight!"

"Stop this!" Steven yelled. "I thought we were all trying to be friends!"

"I _told_ you this was a bad idea!" Peridot yelled.

Jasper felt a wave of hurt. She was the one who had been challenged and yet she was being blamed for stepping up to meet that challenge. She stopped shifting her feet to voice the thought, but Amethyst recovered at that moment and lashed out again. The blow hit her full force and was even stronger than the last one with the force of Amethyst's rage.

Jasper bit her tongue against crying out and dashed in again. Amethyst recoiled her whip in an attempt to strike the warrior gem before she got too close, but Jasper ducked deftly and the purple gem barely dodged her own weapon before Jasper's huge fist hit her in the side. Amethyst slid sideways with the blow, but struck back, surprising the warrior gem by using the butt of the whip to strike her in the face. It hit right across her cheekbone and temple and Jasper had to let her face roll with the hit in order to minimize damage. The blow could have dislodged her eyeball. Amethyst was stronger than ever and she was fighting to win. They continued trading blows, both aiming for critical points. Jasper was using her arms and legs to deflect and block blows, but Amethyst was taking every hit, gem blazing brighter and brighter the angrier she got.

"Jasper! Amethyst! Stop this now!" Steven cried.

Jasper actually went still mid punch. Amethyst did not. Her next blow was a sharp jab to Jasper's solar plexus and the tall warrior gem actually felt the bone grind under the force. Her breath left in a painful cough. Without a thought, she moved and slammed her elbow down onto the crown of the short gem's head. The pain in her elbow was sharp and immediate and it sent Amethyst reeling. Jasper waited until her opponent had slightly recovered and then lashed out with a powerful kick. Amethyst rolled out of the way with a growl and used the distance to crack her whip across Jasper's body as she stood.

The unexpected blow almost pulled a cry from the tall warrior, but she refused to the show of weakness. Instead she lowered her head and charged, letting all of her pent up rage fuel the attack. Amethyst screamed in challenge and charged her too. The air around the two cracked with their energy as their speed rolled them into balls of speeding fury. Amethyst's flails were whipping around so fast they looked like solid lines and Jasper's helmet shone like a star.

They hit with the force of two speeding trains on a death track. The blow knocked them both back and Jasper found herself too stunned with the force to even find her feet. She crashed onto her back in the sand. It took her only moments to recover enough to regain her feet, but she was still inwardly stunned. Amethyst had gone up quite a bit on the power scale. Still, the battle was visibly taking its toll on the purple quartz. She had let too many of Jasper's blows through her minimal guard. The last attack, which had been only a momentary annoyance for the honed warrior gem, had been devastating to Amethyst.

Amethyst stood and shook herself like an animal, sending sand sheeting in all directions. Jasper's eyes narrowed when she realized that the short gem was still intent on continuing the fight even if it was futile. She might have gone up in power, but she was still only fighting with raw instinct and brute force. She was blind to her flaws on the battlefield and one day, it would cost her her life.

She jerked her head, dismissing her helmet. "Stand down, runt. You can't win this fight and I have no intention of wasting both our time by continuing."

" _Don't you dare talk down to me_!" Amethyst shrieked. She shot forward with a yell, forgoing her whip in favor of a surging punch.

Jasper could have easily dodged the attack, but she stood firm and let the blow hit her. She didn't even let her head move as the force slid them back a few feet. Pain exploded through her, almost stealing her vision, but she did not allow a single part of her to display it; a technique she had perfected long ago.

She stared at the gem whose fist was buried in her cheek, looking her right in the eyes as she endured the powerful attack. She saw Amethyst's eyes go wide from shock and no small trace of fear as she floated to the ground. "Do you see now?" Jasper growled. "You can't win. You haven't learned a thing since the last time we faced each other." She lifted her chin as the exhausted purple quartz sank to her knees on the sand. "You might have gone up in power, but you still aren't in the same league. You should think twice before challenging me again."

She watched Amethyst tremble on the sand in front of her. She knew that the quaking came from rage rather than fear and also knew that the purple quartz wouldn't heed her warning. Jasper almost spat in disgust as the short gem clearly announced her next attack, not in words, but with her entire body. She leaped up from the sand with a mighty yell, channeling everything into one more desperate punch. Jasper was not about to let such a pathetic attack touch her and easily deflected it with a sharp chop of her hand.

"This time, stay down." She ordered as she covered Amethyst's sweaty face with her hand while she was still in the air from her momentum.

She slammed the defenseless quartz into the sand with hopefully enough power to make the command stick without actually poofing her. When she lifted her hand, she saw that her opponent was sufficiently stunned and stepped away. This victory was hollow and one she wasn't proud of.

" _ **Amethyst**_!" The others cried.

All of them rushed the fallen gem. Peridot was the first to her. The short gem looked down at the prone purple gem and turned to face Jasper with an expression of pure fury on her face.

"Why do you have to be so cruel?!" She screamed.

Jasper glared at her. "Cruel? All I did was win a fight. There's nothing cruel about that."

Peridot scoffed. "You didn't have to taunt her and insult her! You knew she wouldn't stop once you made her angry!"

Jasper growled. "She _started_ the fight angry! And that was her first mistake!"

" _See_!" The green gem cried. "You can't help but to point out the mistakes of others! You shove their flaws down their throats."

"Better that than let them continue to live in a bubble of lies! If you cared about her, you'd tell her the truth!"

"What would _you_ know about caring for anyone other than yourself?!"

Jasper gritted her teeth against the biting words on her tongue. Peridot had been just like her not too long ago considering how long the both of them had lived. Bringing up the past would change nothing, however, so she bit the words back and instead focused on the here and now.

Before she could respond further, Garnet cut her off. "Peridot, that's enough!"

Peridot turned to face her. "But-"

"Leave it." The fusion's voice was firm. Peridot huffed and sent Jasper a cutting glare, before turning away.

Amethyst was struggling to sit up with Pearl and Steven's help. She brushed them off as Peridot came to her. The green gem held out a hand, but Amethyst just glared up at her and ignored it. She forced herself to her feet and stood, swaying. As soon as she could walk, she started towards the house. The beach was silent but for her footsteps and the lapping waves. Jasper said nothing as the short quartz brushed against her on the way past. Their fight was far from over entirely, but for today it was finished.

She glanced back at the others and saw Peridot staring after Amethyst with a wistful expression on her face. Steven looked sad too. She knew in her heart that she was right, but a strange feeling of regret washed through her all the same.

Pearl came to lay a hand on Peridot's shoulder and the two of them shared a meaningful look that was lost on the tall warrior gem. Silently, the two of them started after Amethyst, walking past Jasper like she wasn't there. She thought that Garnet and Steven would do the same, and was surprised when the tall fusion stopped beside her.

"You know." She started. "There are better ways of saying what you were trying to earlier."

Jasper blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

The fusion shook her head. "If I tell you, it won't have the same impact as you learning it for yourself."

Jasper felt a coil of frustration tighten in her gut. "Then why say anything at all?"

Garnet smirked. "Because now you'll think about it harder than you might have." She started to walk away and then stopped. "And Jasper? Just remember, softness doesn't always equal weakness."

She was suddenly and painfully reminded of the softness she had sensed in Lapis; the secret strength that had given her such power that was beyond the warrior gem's comprehension. "I don't know how to be soft." She admitted without thought. Then she backtracked to hide the true emotion behind the words. "I'm hard all the way through. And I like it that way." She growled.

Garnet shrugged. "That is your choice. Just know that it _is_ a choice." She removed her glasses and turned to look back at her.

Jasper felt a chill run up her spine as she looked the tall fusion in the eyes. She suddenly remembered that sapphires could see into any gem should they chose to, though what they saw was a mystery to the warrior gem. She knew that the sapphire inside of Garnet was probing her now. Her expression gave no hint as to what she was seeing, but Jasper felt the world might fall from under her feet in that single, burning instant. Anything was suddenly possible; it was terrifying. Then the fusion replaced her glasses as if nothing had transpired.

"Come, Steven." She said firmly. "Jasper needs a moment alone."

Steven blinked, his expression mirroring the bewildered way Jasper felt inside. He didn't protest though and followed after the fusion as she started towards the house. Jasper stood watching them go, wondering what exactly had just happened.

What was going on? Nothing made any sense. Feelings she didn't understand were taking her over. She didn't even know who she was anymore. Was she the cruel tyrant that Peridot had described? Was she the broken warrior Lapis had created? Was she the freak she had been born as? What was she? Who was she? What was life now that she had turned to stand beside her enemies? Was everything she had ever known a lie?

She felt the rising panic start to consume her. She tried to take deep breaths, tried to fight for some semblance of control, but this tide was stronger than the ocean and she was crushed beneath it. Silent as a shadow, she lashed out at the rock wall. The stone exploded under her fist, the limestone crumbling to dust with the absolute force of her blow. Again and again she struck the stone, the crumbling rock and deepening crevasse an escape from her turmoil. She stopped only when she was almost completely surrounded by rock, unwilling to let herself be entirely encompassed by the Earth's indifferent crust. She stood, trembling with barely contained rage.

Her childish outburst had vented only just enough. Everything was still surging and roiling within her. There seemed to be no true escape from this. Something had to give and she refused to let it be her. There had to be something that would quell the storm within her.

She turned and strode back out onto the sand and stared out at the ocean before her. The happily dancing waves suddenly made her angry. Finally, she let her voice off of its leash and she screamed in primal rage as she punched the ground beneath her. The sand was instantly crystallized, forming a bowl of fractured beauty. The sight of the glistening crater stilled her storming emotions.

She had no idea that her rage could ever make something pretty. Experimentally, she walked a few steps and struck the ground again. The sand did little more than sift away. Brows furrowed, she repeated it again with more force. The sand definitely took on a brittle looking texture. Then she realized that it wasn't the action, but the force that had created the phenomenon.

She reared back and punched as hard as she could and was delighted when another crystalline bowl formed. She stood, looking at it, happy to have figured out the puzzle. If only all of the puzzles in her heart could be unlocked so easily.

What had Garnet meant by telling her that softness wasn't weakness? It made no sense! She wasn't made to be soft. Her entire existence had begun because her diamonds needed fighters; gems who would not flinch under the pressure of battle. All her life, she had been honed to do whatever it took to win. How could she forget a lifetime of teachings?

She sighed heavily, feeling a wave of sadness. If the Diamonds were bad, then she was bad too. How could she be good, if bad was all she'd ever known? And why did trying hurt so much? The only thing that had ever been more painful was that few weeks after Malachite, when she had scoured the Earth searching for Lapis, only to have the object of her desire scorn her worse than any other being ever had.

She remembered how it felt to kneel in front of her; she'd never kneeled in front of anyone but the Diamonds. She'd never once begged for anything in her life. She had never felt more tiny as she surrendered herself to Lapis like she had never surrendered herself to anyone before. And she had been turned away. Her heart felt like it was tearing itself in half as she remembered the punch that had ended it all.

The sun was beating down on her, but she felt cold all the way through. Just as cold as she'd felt all those months ago. The cold before Lapis had joined her. She was trapped again in that dark, unforgiving tomb.

"Jasper?" A tentative voice saying her name snapped her back into reality.

Her entire body was painfully stiff as she looked over to see Steven staring up at her. "What?" Her voice cracked badly.

He looked scared and deeply worried. "Are you… okay? You haven't moved for a really long time."

She blinked at him in confusion, before looking towards the sky. To her astonishment, the sun was setting. She had been standing there, lost in her own mind, for hours. The thought was terrifying. She moved, forcing her stiff muscles into motion. She had been tense for so long that it took her several moments of painful stretching to regain the full range of motion in her limbs. She kept her face an impassive mask as she did so, because Steven was still looking up at her with that worried expression; she strangely felt as if she needed to protect him from her pain.

When she stilled, she finally looked down at him and something in his eyes almost made her flinch away. It was the most serious she had ever seen him. He finally looked like the leader she had expected him to be.

"I have a task for you." He said, voice low.

She flexed her muscles again, rolling her shoulders and cracking her neck. "I'm ready." She looked into his steely eyes and hoped she actually was.

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 **So, I know that went in a bit of a darker direction than most of you were expecting, but trust me. This needed to happen. It will all get explained in due time.**

 **THANK YOU AGAIN so much for the outstanding responses! I am having so much fun writing this and I hope that we can continue to journey down the path of Jasper's redemption together for the weeks to come. You guys are amazing. You have no idea how much help you are.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Pieces**

 **YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter 5**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE! I LOVE YOU GUYS! XD**

 **I'll blather more at the end of this chapter. For now, let's continue our journey! Read on, loves!**

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"Follow me."

The words were the firmest she'd ever heard Steven speak. He turned and started down the beach without looking back as if her not doing as he asked was in a realm of impossibility. He seemed taller somehow. She felt her respect for the hybrid grow.

The tall warrior hesitated for a small moment and looked back towards his home. She saw Pearl standing there on the deck, arms crossed. She couldn't exactly make out the look on the slender gem's face, but she imagined that it wasn't a happy expression. She wondered just how much weight he had had to pull to get the other gems to allow this outing. She turned away, shoving the thought from her mind before she could dwell on the negative feelings it created. Steven was waiting for her and she had brooded quite enough. Her mind was still in turmoil and any movement was better than the terrifying inactivity the darkness inside of her had wrought.

He waited until she was almost to him, before continuing on. Only a few short moments later, the rock wall of the shortening cliffs had ended and she saw a collection of stone buildings in neat squares. A human city. She'd never seen one up close before and had never looked at one from ground level. He led her silently along the beach, to a set of stone stairs that lead up into a road that connected everything in a series more squares. It reminded her of the battle grids used to strategize.

She half expected to see more humans as they walked along, but, looking through the windows as they passed, she saw that many of them were tied up in their own tasks. None so much as glanced up and soon the lights were fading behind them as they walked along the road.

Without the distraction of new sights, the pace Steven had set for them seemed agonizingly slow. There was not enough to distract her swirling thoughts. She did her best not to show her frustration, but he seemed to sense it all the same. He looked up at her with a small grin and started moving faster.

She matched his new stride easily and he sped up again. A few moments later, they were running. He wasn't very fast, but it was definitely faster than walking. She set her speed to match his and found it sufficient enough. Steven was laughing happily and she was caught up in the simple enjoyment of moving. The last of the stiffness eased from her body as they ran. He veered towards a steep rise and she followed only a step behind. As she topped the hill, she stopped dead in her tracks. It seemed like they'd come out on top of the world.

It felt like she could see everything from here. The sky stretched out, cloudless and star filled, encompassing them entirely in all directions until it kissed the distant mountains behind them and the deep, dark sea before them. The town and the temple barely registered to her, so deep was her awe at the gorgeous sight.

She shook herself free of her amazement and scowled to hide her awe. She was a warrior. A simple view shouldn't have the ability to steal her breath. " _This_ is where you had me bring us?" She asked, looking around at the grassy hill with mock disdain.

Steven nodded and walked to the edge of the cliff. He flopped down onto the grass. "It's really nice up here. It always helps me to put things into perspective and to get my thoughts straight." He sighed. "It might seem like I'm having fun all the time and most of the time, I really am, but sometimes... sometimes, this life gets really hard. And everyone kind've glosses over the bad and just smiles and pretends everything is going to be okay, but I know it's not." He sighed and Jasper remained silent, feeling there was more he had to say. "Like, there was this one time I was going to go to the Big Doughnut, but then I saw Buck. He was carrying his guitar and I just so happened to have my trusty Ukulele with me and I thought, 'Jam Bro's!' Well, he tells me that there's this family thing at Sour Cream's house and ..."

Jasper listened to him continue to talk, fascinated. She'd always thought that this little hybrid had the perfect life outside of fighting for Earth. She didn't truly understand some of what he was saying; she had no idea what a 'Connie' was or a 'Dad', but she could grasp their importance to him. To hear this... boy grumble and vent about his problems, however insignificant they were, was insightful and, strangely, it made her feel better. It made her feel less weak, somehow, though she couldn't even begin to place why. A change in his tone of voice brought her attention back to him.

"And then there weren't enough napkins, but thankfully, Dad had some wipes and so I guess it all worked out in the end. Though I never did ask Jenny what ever happened to that bag of foam balls." He blinked. "Okay, maybe that story was a bad example. Lemme try again! Hmm." He trailed off contemplatively. They were both silent for a moment before Steven realized Jasper was still standing where she'd stopped. He sat up and turned to face her. "Hey. Why don't you come sit down?" He asked, patting the grass beside him.

"Why?"

He shrugged. "It's just... more comfortable that way."

She snorted derisively, but moved to sit beside him anyway, crossing her legs and letting her wrists dangle over her knees, fingers trailing the tall grass. She sat stiffly at first, but as the silence stretched and the cool sea air blew gently around them, she found herself relaxing. The view really was spectacular. She stared out over the gorgeous sight before her and felt her mixed emotions swirl just below the surface as she stared out over the waves. She didn't realize she was frowning until Steven spoke.

"What's on your mind, Jasper?" He asked softly.

She sighed. "Everything."

He hummed. "That's a lot to think about." She nodded. He paused for a moment. "Maybe you could narrow it down? Focus on just one or two things at a time?"

"It won't help." She said quietly.

"It might." He urged. "What's the biggest thing bothering you? The one that's on your mind the most."

Jasper had had enough. All this prying and nicety was making her feel attacked. She glared at him. "What do you care?" She snarled. "I brought you here and still don't know why, so can you please do whatever it is you're going to do so we can just leave already? I don't like it here." She growled.

Steven looked alarmed, hands coming up to gesture apologetically. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just... I thought you could relax if I took you away from the house and the others. We can go if you're too uncomfortable."

Jasper was taken off guard. "You mean... you brought us here... for me?"

Steven nodded, still apologetic. "I just wanted you to be able to take a moment and think." He said tentatively. "It's kind've been one thing after another since you reformed and... I mean, it's a lot to take in and you're in an even worse place than Peridot was. I'd be losing my mind. Even Lapis seemed to take to it better." He trailed off as he registered the look on Jasper's face.

Jasper jerked as if she'd received a shock when Lapis' name was spoken. All of the feelings she'd been struggling to suppress were suddenly roaring in her head. She cried out, taking her head in her hands, her knees rose as she curled into an upright ball.

" _Lapis_!" She hissed, her voice strained from the effort it took not to scream.

"Oh, god, I said something bad!" Steven cried. "I'm sorry!" He reached out a hand, but withdrew it when she glared at him.

"No." She stated firmly, forcing her voice out low and deep. "Don't touch me."

"Okay. No touching. Got it." He sat on his hands.

They sat in silence as Jasper struggled for control. She forced herself to take deep, calming breaths, forced herself into a normal position, forced her eyes to lock onto the waves and accept what she was feeling so that she could squash it back down. She refused to give in to this. Not now, especially not in front Steven. Finally, after what seemed like eons, she calmed.

He seemed to sense her relaxation, because as soon as she fully relaxed, he spoke. "I didn't mean to say anything to upset you."

She shook her head, refusing his pity. "I'll get over it."

Steven smiled. "You really will, you know. All it takes is time." He said encouragingly, before continuing in a smaller voice. "But, you know, talking about it helps too. You can even pretend I'm not here and just... say it to the sky. I won't tell."

She ground her teeth together. "Talking about it won't change anything."

"Maybe not in the way that you think, but it does help change how you feel."

"Maybe I like how I feel!" She snapped, glaring at him. "Maybe feeling this bad is what I'm meant to feel. Maybe that's why no one stays. Why they leave... why she left..." Her voice trailed off in a whisper.

"Lapis?" He asked in a very quiet voice.

Jasper growled. "She left me."

Steven sighed. "I know. I... I'm sorry."

She snorted. "No you're not. You helped break us apart." Her voice was full of bitterness.

Steven rubbed the back of his head as he chuckled nervously. "Well you were attacking an island full of my watermelon Steven's at the time." She humped and said nothing. "How did it feel, by the way? Being Malachite with Lapis? How do you feel about her?"

Jasper looked down suppressed a sigh. She couldn't believe it but she actually wanted to tell Steven her true thoughts. Maybe if she spoke them, she really would feel better like he insisted she would. _Blasted persuasive little_... She let out a deep breath, calming herself, before looking up at the sky.

"Lapis …" She sighed again, before continuing. "Lapis reminds me of the moon. She's cool and aloof. Distant, but it almost feels like... like you could touch her if you just... reached far enough." Her hand stretched up to the sky, as if she really could just reach up and take the glowing orb in her hand. Her heart skipped painfully in her chest as it remained empty. "So far away." She whispered. She blinked, eyes burning, looking down and out over the distant ocean beyond the city below. It glowed in the starlight, sparkling playfully.

"She reminds me of the gentle way it plays on the surface of the ocean. The way it rides the waves and looks so beautiful and … wild, in a fun way!" She laughed the last, then her smile faded as the thought continued. "But, she's not." Jasper growled, low and fierce.

"That beautiful and wild surface hides... danger." The last was a whisper as she lowered her head. Her emotions surged as the words began pouring out of her. "There's nothing beautiful once you're under. There's nothing but a deep, dark pressure that holds you down, smothers you, makes you want to scream, cry, beg! _Anything to just make it stop_!" Tears welled into her eyes, but she held them in with a will of iron as her heart pounded in her chest. She gasped for breath and it caught in her throat. Her hands closed over her aching chest in fists. The stars above swam in another ocean, this one her own suppressed tears.

"But we... we were too weak to fight. Too... broken. We had no choice but to endure it. Too suffer in silence as the entire world raged around us with all the fury of nature pointed at us like a loaded missile." Her voice was back under control, only the slightest waver to betray the tears still shimmering in her eyes. "And even under all that pressure... We _liked_ it!" Her voice was full of disbelief, but also wonder.

"We liked being the victim. We'd been on the other side and knew how good it felt to just do what you wanted with no one to tell you couldn't because no one could stand against you. We knew how small and insignificant and weak all the pathetic little rocks looked from so up high. And we liked doing it. It felt so _good_!" She was shouting again.

"It was a rush and a thrill. Such terror! Such pain! I was born to fight, born for battle and there I was, where I was meant to be; _fighting._ " Her voice rang strong and true before she withered down, hugging her knees to her chest and burying her lips in them, as if she could stop her train of thought by stopping her words.

But, there was no stopping it and so, she continued, hating how tiny and weak her voice sounded. "But... we were the weak one. And we couldn't keep fighting. And just when I thought I'd shatter, there you were." She stifled a harsh laugh. "Oh, how I hated you. But you gave me the edge I needed to break free. Just for that tiny moment I was free and I could fight! I wanted to destroy you." She let out a watery chuckle. "Then she dragged me back down and I was back in the darkness, alone... Until she dropped back below the surface and put herself back onto my level." Her voice was soft.

"We were equal in that moment. Both suffering, both fighting, both just... wanting so desperately to live. That was the moment that truly made us Malachite." She stared out at that distant play of the moon on the water, letting her waning emotions drain from her weary form. "I thought... maybe... maybe being like this wasn't so bad. Lapis was quieter than she'd ever been. I was able to stand up again after so long. I was able to stretch. After being so scared for so long, I finally wasn't scared anymore. I was power. I was free. I was _Malachite_!" She roared. "We rose up from the depths of the ocean with only one thing on our mind..." She glared over at the hybrid beside her, barely registering his shocked and tearful face. "… _you_." She breathed the last, her voice wrenching into a snarl.

"You were our breaking point. You took my fusion!" She screamed. "You broke my Diamond! You took the life I could have had!" Her whole body turned towards Steven and she raged at him. "What power could you possibly have to make a gem that powerful and broken want to fight for you? Lapis could have easily destroyed this planet on her own and yet she was yours?! I begged her to take me back. Bared my soul to her right in front of you and you called me a liar!" She punched the ground, words escaping in a rush of pain. "She was the first gem to really make me feel like I was worth something! I don't know why! Or how! But I wanted to fight for her the same way she wanted fight for you." Her voice dropped back to a shaky whisper. "But she said no... and every day since has been..." Her voice broke.

She took a deep, trembling breath. "What was I supposed to even do here? I didn't know anything about this planet except what she showed me. I was made here, but this wasn't my home. I had no way to escape and all the while I thought the Cluster was maturing under my feet. I realized how empty I was without a fight. Since almost my first moments, I had had to fight. Year after year, battle after battle. Win the fight, pat on the head and right back out again. Just one mission after another, each one more horrific than the last. Decades of watching other gems poof around me as I tore through my enemies. I always had to be on my toes, never a relaxing moment. One sign of weakness and I was a goner because my Diamond wasn't there to protect me because of _you_." Her voice was flat.

"Then I realized that this had probably been meant to happen. I was to be discarded with the rest of the filth on this planet. Another anomaly to be wiped from the star maps. I wandered aimlessly, avoiding every other living thing. I didn't even know I was looking for a purpose until I ran into one of the mutations. And just like that I had found one. I was going to build an army and fight you!" Her voice surged upwards and her hands clenched into fists.

"I was going to take all of you down. You and everything else here. I was going to face Lapis and..." She sighed, trailing off. "I ... was a deluded fool." Her head dropped in defeat. "But you wouldn't even let me have that delusion. You released my army and flaunted your happy little fusion in front of me like it was a game. For the _second_ time. First with the human and then that overcooked runt! You were showing me again how weak I was. I don't know why I thought that would change by fusing with that... that _creature_... I..." She swallowed hard, voice breaking.

"I became a monster and even _it_ didn't want me. I had tainted myself; dropped down as low as I could go. You had finished what you'd started. I was... completely and utterly defeated. I didn't have another fight in me." She looked up suddenly, her heart racing and panging. "And there you were again. And this time, you wanted to help me? After everything you wanted me to accept your help? I tried to stand up, tried to fight. All I was became rage and loss. And then I was... insubstantial... I couldn't fight you. I couldn't even try..." She spread her hand wide and stared at the palm of it, tracing the patterns in her skin.

"What was I?" She asked aloud, not expecting and answer. "What had I become? Was this... was this what life would be like from now on? Just... me and my broken thoughts? I remember feeling so... alone." She whispered desperately. "I didn't want to be alone. But what could I do? Where could I turn? I was trapped. Condemned to die on this planet with everything I hated. And I thought..." her voice broke. "Maybe Lapis... maybe Lapis was right. Maybe giving in was the best way. Maybe... maybe there was... something else? And maybe you..." Her voice rose slightly in pitch, but not in volume. "Maybe you had the answer." She stared at him, eyes boring into his as if she could pluck the answers from them herself.

A sudden wind whipped into the silence that had fallen after her words. As her hair drifted in the air, the spell was broken. She suddenly realized that she had said far, far, far more than she'd meant to. Her shame was now laid bare in front of the gem that could hurt her the most, outside Lapis, who was somewhere deep in space.

She rose in one fluid motion; her only thought was to escape. She managed to take two steps before a soft hand wrapped around hers, only managing to grip two of her fingers. That one soft touch stopped her. Something in her wouldn't let her pull away. She looked around intending on screaming for her release, but the look on Steven's face stopped her. Tears were rolling down his cheeks in rivers and snot dripped from his nose. His pursed bottom lip trembled. His eyes were huge and pained and she felt her broken heart shatter as she fell to her knees. Her body swayed forward and she crashed onto her elbows, hair falling around her in a sheet of white as her head dropped.

She screamed hands digging into the dirt as the tears she had always held back finally burst free. She heard Steven begin to sob and felt the boy take her head into his arms, holding her tightly. His touch grounded her and she hated it even as she welcomed it. Her mind was a swirl of chaos and it was the only thing that kept her sane as she lost herself entirely to the overwhelming storm of her emotions.

After an immeasurable amount of time, she finally began to calm. Gently, she freed herself from his embrace and sat back on the grass. He made no comment and simply came to sit beside her. Her eyes burned madly and her throat felt raw, but she felt... calm. Calmer than ever before. They were silent for a long time.

After what seemed like hours, Steven finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I had no idea you were feeling all that. I..." He swallowed. "I was only focused on Lapis before and that was before I knew about Homeworld and how gems were really treated." He sighed. "I'm making excuses." He muttered. "And there isn't one that justifies what happened to you."

She felt herself go rigid as a trace of fear shot through her. He pitied her now. He knew how broken she was now and would have no use for her. She would be adrift again with no purpose.

"I don't need your apologies. What happened to me can't be changed. War makes all of us do things we regret. I won't let it stop me. I will fight these feelings and I'll come back stronger than before. I promise you, they won't make me a liability. I can still be of use. I'm _not_ weak." She did her best to keep the tremble from her voice. It was as close to begging as she'd allow.

Steven looked up at her, eyes wide. "Oh, Jasper. I have never thought of you as weak. You're one of the strongest gems I've ever met."

She blinked down at him, trying carefully to feel nothing at all. "But... you know now. " She couldn't bring herself to say more.

Steven's answering smile was full of understanding. "Nothing you've told me tonight has made me think any less of you, Jasper." His eyes watered again. "In fact, you're even stronger than I could have ever imagined."

Her heart skipped in her chest and hope swelled inside of her, almost painfully strong. "You're not lying?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm not lying. Your feelings don't make you weak. Acceptance is the hardest part of anything bad that happens. You accept your pain and you're fighting it. You aren't giving into it. Every moment that you keep going, is another moment you can be proud of."

The strangest emotion she had ever felt began to well within her at his words. She felt... hopeful. Proud. Shaken, but strong. She felt as if she were finally getting a sense of footing now, though she still wished she could have spared the tiny gem beside her of hearing about her secret pain. A sudden thought stilled her heart.

"You won't think less of Lapis now will you?" She asked earnestly.

His expression changed as he thought on the question. "It's hard to say. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Don't think less of her." The earnest request surprised even her, but she continued with the thought. "It wasn't her fault."

Steven blinked at her. "It wasn't yours either."

She dismissed the statement with a shrug. She knew she had more than enough of the blame in their disaster of a fusion. "We were at war. War takes no sides." That was true at least.

He nodded. "I love Lapis. I promise I won't think less of her."

A wave of relief swept through her. "Good." Lapis didn't deserve to be thought badly of, especially not by Steven.

He yawned beside her and she realized that it was later than she'd thought. It was around this time last night that Garnet and Pearl had insisted on him going to sleep. She still didn't understand what it was, or why he would want to lie there doing nothing as he had, but if it was important, she wouldn't question it.

"Come on." She said, getting up. "We should go back before the others send a search party for us."

He laughed. "You might be right."

As he stood and stretched, Jasper saw how tired the boy really was. Almost before she thought of it, she reached down and scooped him up into her arms like she'd seen Garnet do. He looked up at her with a yawn. "Thanks, Jasper."

She blushed in embarrassment and started walking. "Don't mention it. _Ever_." She threatened playfully.

He chuckled lightly and laid his head on her shoulder. They were silent for a time. Jasper found herself lost in thoughts again as she walked, but not in bad ones. The fact that Steven knew her side of the truth and didn't blame her or Lapis made her feel an enormous amount of respect for him. She felt cleaner now, refreshed, like some great corruption inside her had been cleansed. It was like a tight band inside of her that she hadn't even realized was there had snapped and the ease of that inner tension made the turmoil inside of her less chaotic.

Steven yawned again, pulling her from her thoughts. "You know, Jasper. If you start talking to everyone like you talk to me, then I think the other's will come around pretty quickly."

She snorted. "I don't care if they like me. I can work with them even if they don't"

"You could." He admitted. "But working with them isn't the goal." His voice was a murmur of sound.

"Then what is?" She asked just as quietly.

" _Living_ with them." He yawned. "Life is about living and loving and caring and being with the ones around you."

She felt something inside her shrink away. "I don't know how to do that." She admitted softly, glancing down at him.

He smiled up at her, eyes drooping. "You already are doing it. Just be yourself and not the you you think others expect to see."

She almost stopped short as his words struck a chord within her. Had she been so obvious that her facade was seen through so easily. Thinking on it, Garnet seemed to have seen more than she had intended too, regardless of the Sapphire powers she had. Lion had seen her pain as well.

Everything was happening so quickly, but, somehow, the fact that they knew more than she had intended made her feel... not safe exactly, but a measure more secure. Maybe she would try to be more open with her first reactions, instead of hiding behind the mask that had kept her safe for most of her life. Maybe.

As she walked through the silent city, she felt Steven go limp in her arms. She looked down to see him fully relaxed, eyes closed. Was he sleeping? He must be.

She grew even more careful with her movements as she walked down the steps to the beach. She kept one eye on the gentle waves as she walked along the beach, just in case another monster rose from the depths to attack them. None did, and the rest of the trip was quiet. She reached the steps and started up, careful not to jostle him. She walked to the doorway and looked inside. Pearl, Garnet and Peridot were talking quietly.

She couldn't make out their words, but she didn't mind and carefully freed a hand to tap on the frame. All three of them looked up and saw her. Pearl gasped, but Garnet caught her by the shoulder as she made to rush to the door.

"It's alright." She said to the pale gem, before coming to open it. "Come in.

Jasper hesitated before stooping and stepping inside. "He's sleeping." She whispered to the fusion as she straightened.

Garnet smiled. "He was all tired out. Why don't you take him up to his bed?"

Jasper didn't question the soft order and instead did as she was told. She slowly began to make her way up the flight of steps. Cat-Steven came to greet her, rubbing along her legs as she climbed and making her nervous. She managed to sidestep the affectionate creature's attentions and make it up to his bed without dropping him. Pearl was suddenly there, turning down the covers.

Jasper leaned down and carefully deposited him. He never stirred. She stood there, looking down at him for a moment. He looked very peaceful. Whatever this sleeping did to him, it was good for him. He looked very content as the pale pearl tucked the covers around him. She brushed his curls from his forehead and leaned down to kiss him softly.

"Sleep tight, Steven." She whispered. She looked up at Jasper while she was still leaning over the sleeping hybrid and Jasper suddenly felt like an intruder. There was a dangerously possessive glint Pearl's eyes that made Jasper acutely aware that this was the pearl that most Homeworld gems had nightmares about.

She didn't fight to hold her ground under the heavy gaze and instead turned to leave. Staying would only cause trouble and she did not want that. The house was silent but for her footsteps as she made her way back down. Without a word, she went to the door, opened it and ducked outside.

She stepped out to the railing and leaned against it, much like she had the first time she's stepped outside that door. The night breeze was refreshingly crisp and the sky was clear. The stars weren't as bright as they had been on the hill with Steven, but they were no less pretty now. She was trying carefully to keep her mind mostly blank and only focus on the here and now, when she heard the door open quietly behind her. She looked back and Saw Peridot standing there, looking nervous.

"Yes?" She asked lightly.

The green gem looked up at her and Jasper recognized the look of stubborn determination on her face. "I need to talk to you."

Jasper turned fully around to face the short gem as she walked closer. The small, green gem seemed to be working herself up to something. The warrior gem steeled herself for the worst. Peridot had always been brash and outspoken glaringly tactless when angry. Whatever she had to say, Jasper was ready to face.

Peridot seemed to have found her words, because she looked up at the tall warrior gem and spoke with conviction. "I need to apologize."

Jasper was utterly stunned. "What?"

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 **Firstly, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT! You guys are amazing and every review makes me very happy. Some of you deserve cookies, but I'm saving shout outs for a later date. It'll be fun.**

 **This has been so much fun to write so far and I am so glad once again that you guys are enjoying where we are headed. Jasper's redemption is very important to me and I love that you guys are on board. We have a looooong way to go, but our gruff warrior will make an impact no matter what happens.**

 **Be sure to leave a review letting me know your thoughts and also, feel free to message me if you have any questions or don't want to review publicly. Some of you already have been, but I wanted to let the rest of you know that I am always ready to talk shop and discuss.**

 **ANYWAY! I've blathered on long enough. Have a good one, loves! Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Pieces**

 **YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter 6**

 **A/N: THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT! Sorry for the late upload loves. I've been moving into a new place and with that and working... PHEW! I'm exhausted. Anyway, I've kept you quite long enough.**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

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In all that she'd thought she thought she'd braced herself an apology wasn't even in the realm of her expectations. Peridot outranked her, both in her status as a Homeworld made gem and as the head of their failed mission. Apologizing wasn't something done in their society except when speaking to a higher class of gem and then only to waylay punishment. She herself had never had to apologize for anything. She'd been strong enough to take her punishments and had never allowed herself to beg for forgiveness like those lesser than her. Yet, from the look on Peridot's face, it didn't seem like she thought she was lesser. It seemed important to her. She remembered Steven's easy apologies as well, but had dismissed them as his human side's strange cultural difference. Was this another thing that Earth did to gems?

Jasper stared down at Peridot, trying to wrap her mind around this newest surprise. Peridot sighed. "Look, Jasper. I don't agree with what you said or did to Amethyst. But regardless, I said something to you that I shouldn't have. Therefore, I feel I must apologize." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry that I called you cruel. You're a lot of things, but cruel was never one of them."

Jasper felt a strange emotion flood through her and had to look away as she blushed. It made her feel good to hear Peridot tell her that she wasn't cruel. Her emotions were still tender after her talk with Steven. She still felt shaken and hearing something good about herself from someone who wasn't Steven was … nice. She remembered his words, that she should be more open with the others. She had known Peridot longer than any of them. Maybe she would be a good place to start.

She couldn't make herself look over at her fully and instead stared past her to the cliff wall. "Thank you for apologizing."

Out of her peripheral vision, Jasper saw Peridot's jaw drop and the green gem stared up at her with a stunned look on her face. A moment later she blinked and cleared her throat. "You're welcome."

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment. Jasper wanted to try what Steven had suggested, but wasn't sure where to begin. Then suddenly, she knew. "How did you get involved with the Crystal Gems anyway?"

Peridot looked over at her with a strange look on her face. "It's a long story."

Jasper shrugged. "We have time."

"True." Peridot drew out the word so that it sounded more like a question. "Are.. you sure you want to hear it?" She asked haltingly.

Jasper took a breath and nodded. "Maybe if I know, I'll understand." She said, looking away.

Revealing her uncertainty made her highly uncomfortable, but Peridot was the only gem she had known both before and after their defection. She really did want to know. The small green gem was silent for a long moment.

"Okay." She said after a time. "It all started when I was assigned to check on the status of Gem based operations on Earth."

Jasper relaxed her stance and looked up to the sky as Peridot told her story. She stayed silent throughout, really listening to the journey the ferrokinetic gem had been on that had led her to this moment. She was taken by surprise at all the things she had been through, from being beaten time and again, meeting Steven, fighting Pearl, calling Yellow Diamond of all gems a clod.

Peridot had been ripped away forcefully from everything she had known. She'd had everything taken from her. It had never occurred to her, that Peridot had suffered almost as much as she herself had. The tasks that had brought them to Earth differed, but they had both ended up in the same place. Well... the small green gem was much more comfortable with everything than she herself was. What that said about either of them she didn't know.

After describing the bubbling of the cluster, Peridot halted and Jasper looked over to see an unreadable look on her face. She waited for a few moments before prompting her. "What happened next?"

The small green gem was looking highly uncomfortable. "I'm not sure I can continue talking to you about it now."

Jasper was confused. "Why not?"

The ferrokinetic gem took a deep breath and braced herself. "Because then I would have to talk to you about Lapis."

The tall warrior twitched, but fought to keep her expression neutral as Peridot looked up and stared her in the eye. The suddenly steely look in the small gem's eye made her feel oddly defensive. "Why would you have to talk to me about Lapis?" She asked carefully.

"Because she and I lived together after she left you." The words were flatly expressionless.

Jasper went rigid as she processed that information. She looked away. So that was where Lapis had been while she had scoured the oceans and shores looking for her. The memories she and Lapis had shared with each other didn't include many good things and the only thing she had had to go on was her general knowledge of lapis lazuli in general. Even when she had ranged further inland, she had been loathe to wander too far from the sea. It wasn't until after she had finally found her on that ship with Steven that she had left sight of the ocean for any length of time.

So Lapis had moved on after her. She felt anger swell inside her. Peridot had done just as much wrong to Lapis as she and the Crystal Gems had done even worse. Why was she the one that had had to pay the price of their crimes? Why was she the one who Lapis would not forgive? The anger left as swiftly as it came and a feeling of sadness took its place.

It didn't matter now. It was all already done. Lapis was gone. She was here to stay. They would never see each other again and the warrior gem knew she would just have to learn to live with it.

She was aware that Peridot was still watching her. She knew that she had to respond, but couldn't find the words. "I... don't know what to say." Her own voice sounded strange to her ears.

Peridot's eyes narrowed. "You took that much better than I expected."

Jasper pursed her lips at the accusatory tone. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The small green gem simply shook her head. "Nothing. I just... nothing." She repeated.

They were silent for a long moment. Finally, Jasper could hold back no longer. "What was it like living with Lapis? How was she... after?"

Peridot's face went stony. "It was... bad. At least at first. She _hated_ me. All of us really. It took a lot to earn her trust." Then her expression softened. "But once I did... it was actually kind've great. There were times when we fought, but being friends with her was... fulfilling. We had a lot of good times. She had some bad days, but watching her open up was … it was nice. I miss her." The last was a sad whisper.

Jasper swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. "How long has it been?"

"A few months. Feels like forever. I'm getting used to being here and spending time with everyone is fun, but... the barn was home."

So Peridot had found a home. Jasper felt her gaze drawn back to the stars above. She was the only one out of place, it seemed.

"Why didn't you go with her?" She asked in a whisper.

Peridot sighed and Jasper glanced over to see her looking up at the stars as well. "Part of me wishes I had. The rest of me knows that I made the right choice in staying here. More than the barn and Lapis, Earth is where I belong."

Jasper was confused. "Why?"

The green gem smiled, though it was more sad than happy. "This planet is wonderful. I meant what I said to you back at the Kindergarten. No matter how long I stay here, there are always new things to learn. Life is... different here. I'm not the gem I was when we landed. I've learned more about myself than I ever dreamed."

"Like what?"

"I'm a metal wielder!" The small green gem puffed out her chest proudly.

Her words sparked a hazy memory of the Kindergarten. For some reason, those memories were foggy and unclear. Her mental state even before the battle had been unstable at best. But she did remember Peridot's boast of being ferrokinetic. She thought she even remembered Peridot doing something like that when the mutant had attacked last night... had it really only been one day?

She shook her mind back to the present. "How is that possible?" She asked, looking over at her. "We were both made during the resource shortage. Amethyst's Kinder-mates would have been one of the last batches of full gems."

Peridot nodded, grinning hugely. "I know! Discovering my hidden power was a freak accident, and I might never have discovered it before.!" She was extremely animated. "I'll be right back!"

She ran into the house without waiting for Jasper to reply. If what Peridot had said was true... How could she have powers? She had been created even after she herself had. Gems were being more mass produced now. Bland copies after copies, made to fill a purpose and not much else... or so she'd thought. Peridot burst back outside holding a box of the metal cylinders from before.

"Behold!" She cried and threw the box into the air.

Metal flew everywhere and most of them clattered to the wood with clangs. Incredibly though, eight or so of the cylinders were suspended midair. She watched, fascinated, as Peridot guided them into shapes in the air with hand gestures.

Peridot smirked smugly. "You can hold your applause. I know I'm impressive."

It actually was. Jasper couldn't ever remember hearing of a ferrokinetic Peridot, even before the resource shortage. In fact, she couldn't remember hearing much about other gems with powers other than their gem classification specialties at all. Of course, she was a gem made for battle and wasn't privy to much higher knowledge except what she had gleaned guarding meetings or higher quality gems. Chatter was everywhere among the high class and information was a currency better than any other so she had listened when she had the chance. Still even with her limited knowledge on the subject, the thought didn't settle right in her mind.

"That is impressive." She admitted aloud, pushing back the dark thoughts for the moment.

The green gem guided the cans back into the box and began flicking the others in by ones and twos. As she was doing so, she yawned hugely. "I should go to bed soon. I'm pretty beat."

Jasper blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

Peridot looked over at her. "I'm tired. I usually sleep at night."

"What is sleeping? Does it serve a purpose of some kind?"

"Oh yes. It saves energy. I don't do much at night so it just makes sense to sort of shut off during my periods of low activity."

"It shuts you off?" She asked incredulously. That didn't sound pleasant at all.

"It's quite refreshing actually. You should try it!"

Jasper held up a hand. "I'll pass. I like being aware at all times." She looked towards the dark waters of the sea. "You never know which direction an attack will come from."

Peridot tsked. "Events like that are rare here."

Jasper shrugged. "I attacked from the sea as well. It's tactically the easiest way to get close to this place without risking being seen." She looked at the craggy cliffs in the opposite direction of the human city. "Though you could probably hunker there and remain undetected for some time too." She scratched her chin. "What kind of guarding system do you all have in place? Last night must have been a fluke because of me, right?"

Peridot blinked at her. "We don't have a guard system."

Jasper was shocked. "You mean this place is undefended like last night at all times?"

"Yes." Peridot drew out the word. "Like I said, attacks here are few and far between."

Jasper snorted. "That doesn't sound very logical. Steven is vulnerable. My own attempt and that thing last night proves that. Wouldn't it be better to be on guard?"

Peridot shrugged. "That's not how we work. You can't live looking over your shoulder all the time."

Jasper grit her teeth. "I have."

Peridot sighed. "Homeworld wasn't living. Earth is. It's more relaxed here."

Jasper couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was no wonder that the rebellion had been whittled down to just the three other Crystal Gems. Being lax on security was asking for trouble.

"Then I'll guard."

Peridot rose an eyebrow. "So... you're just going to stand here and do nothing?"

Jasper turned towards the sea and settled into a stance that was comfortable, but would allow her to spring into action at any moment. "If anything comes, at least one of us will be ready." She growled.

Peridot was silent for a long moment. "Do what you want. I'm going to bed." She said, yawning again.

Jasper said nothing and a moment later she heard the door open and click shut. She took a deep breath and began scanning the shoreline and sky. If she memorized the landscape, then she would be more likely to notice even the most minute of differences.

She was intently focused on her surroundings, scanning the horizon for anything odd, when movement out of the corner of her eye drew her attention. A strange creature was dangling in between two of the supports for the railing. She looked closer, trying to see what it was hanging from and saw one of its many legs reach out into thin air. Incredibly, it seemed to touch something, because it moved to that spot. It wasn't floating, it was _crawling in midair_.

She narrowed her eyes and moved closer to try to figure out the phenomenon. As she stepped towards it, moonlight illuminated the tiniest threads she'd ever seen in a strange cog like spiral connected to a center point that connected them all in a rough circle. It was as if the air was made visible. She kneeled next to the creature and leaned close to the strange phenomenon, trying to see if she could discern its origin. The creature did not seem to mind her close proximity and moved a little further up the support.

It reached out another leg and flicked at one of the lines. The entire structure vibrated for a moment and she noticed that the creature kept its leg on the strand as it moved. Then she watched as it moved out into the strand. It seemed as if the tiny thread should break under its weight, but they held with only the slightest give. It moved to the center of the structure and flicked out a few of its legs one by one in different directions as if testing for something. Then, to her utter amazement, it moved over the gap between two of them and wisps stretched from its end. Two hind legs came down to spin the collection of wisps into a single thread that stretched and grew as it moved until it reached another line, where it connected the two with a brush of one leg. It was weaving air! It continued in the same pattern as the center circle until it had reached its starting point and then moved a bit more outwards and did the same thing.

She was amazed as she watched the creature continue its task, wondering what possible purpose this strange weaving could have. As she watched, the web-like structure took on a denser form, circular center threads that connected the longer support lines like a net. The creature worked in a seemingly tireless pattern of testing, crawling and weaving until it had created an elaborate network of thin threads that encompassed almost the entirety of the space between the supports. It connected a final thread and then moved to the center of the structure, where it settled and didn't move again.

Jasper watched for a few more moments and decided that it must be resting after its task. She decided to leave it be and moved away. She had no idea how long she had watched the creature spinning its nest of air, but a glance at the horizon showed no change. All was still.

She felt strange; peaceful. There was still a restlessness inside her, a drive to find her purpose, but for this one, small moment, she was calm. A subtle thump behind her had her looking around to see Lion approaching. He was carrying the remains of a scaled beast in his jaws and she watched as he laid down near the door and began to gnaw on it.

"You come and go as you please, don't you?" She asked him softly after a moment.

He ceased his gnawing and blinked at her. His tail flicked in what she interpreted as an arrogant manner. It made her smile. The beast was certainly sure of himself. He rose and came to her and she automatically reached out a hand to stroke him as he butted his large head against her. He purred deeply as she scratched his chin. After a moment, he licked her hand with his rough, warm tongue and then broke away to return to his prize. His ear flicked in the direction of the air weaver and she looked back to see another creature had apparently laid assault to it. It was a tiny, brown winged creature and looked as it was trying to destroy the structure.

She felt a tiny bit angry that something would try to destroy all of that hard work and went to remove it, when the air weaver made its move. It moved like a flash of light and reached the creature in its web before she could blink. She saw it bite the other creature and then incredulously, it turned tail and began spinning more thread to cover it. The flying creature's wings were tangled in the larger web and the weaver tangled it more so. Then it began to spin the creature, wrapping it in an inescapable cocoon of thread. Soon, the brown creature was barely discernible and its struggling had ceased. She watched the weaver pluck it from the web and carry up all the way to the corner of the supports where it attached it with even more of the webbing. She couldn't make out exactly what it did next, but was moving it's mouth parts over the prey and the webbing seemed to change as it did so. After a moment, she got the impression that what the spider was doing was similar to what Lion was doing.

So _that_ had been the purpose of all the work it had done. It was to catch other creatures. She wondered if it was as invisible to them as it had been to her at first. She stood and glanced at Lion again. He seemed like the type to actively hunt his prey, but the air weaver's stealthy trap seemed ingenious. Earth's creatures were full of mysteries.

She felt she was finally beginning to understand why the rebellion had happened. She still mourned her Diamond and still felt a resentment towards Rose Quartz, but Earth really was fascinating; figuring out the strange phenomenons here was fulfilling in a way she had never experienced before. She hadn't been made to learn, only to fight and to protect, and the only knowledge she'd ever actively sought was to improve those base functions.

Her eyes narrowed as she thought back to the revelation she had had watching Peridot display her strange new power. What if Homeworld was deliberately keeping more things from the gems than they could imagine? She couldn't think of an instance that would have allowed the ferrokinetic gem to develop her power in their society. What if other gems had more powers than they knew and were deliberately being stunted in order to quell another possible rebellion?

It didn't make sense. Wouldn't allowing gems to develop these powers benefit them? If all peridots could control metal they could accomplish astounding things. And what other powers might manifest themselves in other gems? She doubted that she herself would display any of these phenomena, but the other gems made for more industrious tasks might.

And fusion was so taboo on Homeworld, but these gems used it like it was nothing. Garnet had no reason to exist, no reason to remain Garnet, but yet Ruby and Sapphire would rather remain her than be themselves. And they were powerful! When fighting her the second time, Jasper had realized quickly that her quick first victory over the fusion was simply due to the element of surprise. She had underestimated the both of them and their fusion badly, but in her eyes then, fusion was something only done in the heat of battle, between lesser gems to give them a better chance at survival.

She remembered the devastated looks on their faces when they had reformed separately and were denied being able to fuse again. It had angered her beyond reason that they were so pathetically weak and were willing to so openly display their emotions in front of their enemies. She'd deliberately made sure they were as far apart as the ship would allow. The sapphire's constant singing coupled with Peridot's incessant nagging and her own roiling emotions towards Rose Quartz had sent her into a near rage. The shock of discovering they had somehow managed to escape had faded quickly as her battle lust had taken over. A fight was just what she had needed to burn off all of the negative energy boiling inside her.

Never in all her years had she ever misjudged an enemy so badly. Never had she been so soundly beaten. She had fought entire _legions_ of life forms in her existence and yet five gems had managed to outsmart her, destroy her ship and send her hurtling from the sky in a fiery inferno of defeat.

In her desperation, she had turned to the one thing that she thought would level the playing field. If fusion could make two weak gems so strong, what would fusion do to her, who was already strong? And then the almost forgotten Lapis Lazuli, the weak and terrified prisoner who had set this entire mission in motion, the one who had given her a reason to return to this wretched planet and finally have her revenge, had struggled free from the rubble, somehow still unpoofed and she had seized the opportunity to find out.

Coaxing Lapis to fuse with her had been all too easy. She danced with her, feeling a devilish delight in her submission. As their gems had flared with their synchronization, she'd sneered over at her enemies. Her heart soared with the knowledge that she would crush them soon. And then...

She shook her head, forcing the thoughts away. She would not dwell on Malachite. Not again. Lapis had moved on. She had embraced a new way of life. And that life had lead her away from Earth and away from everything the she herself was now trying to embrace.

Lapis would have never given her this chance, of that she was certain. The hydrokinetic gem had broken her, through and through. But Jasper was a warrior and she would rise again and be even stronger than before. Whatever this new life had in store, she was ready for it.

A tiny part of her still wished that somehow, someway, she would be able to see Lapis again just one more time. She wanted to talk to her, at least once more. She wanted to see if, somehow, in her attempting to embrace this new life, maybe something would be different. No matter how much she tried to squash the impossible thought, it remained inside her, burning deep inside her chest. It hurt.

The sky was lightening on the horizon. She watched the sky begin to glow, brighter and brighter, lighting up the clouds in that astonishing array of yellows and pinks and every color in between as they sky bled a lighter blue, almost white. The sight of the spectacular display lessened the hurt. The door opened behind her and she looked around to see Pearl hesitating in the doorway. She was scowling.

"Garnet wants you to come with us." She said, sounding displeased.

Jasper blinked. "Where are we going?"

"To check one of our sites for an signs of mutant activity." She answered.

Jasper blinked in surprise. They wanted her to come with them? Why?

Pearl's eyes narrowed as she looked towards the air weaver's nest. "Ugh. I thought I'd gotten rid of that thing days ago." She said exasperatedly. She materialized a roll of some kind of material with strange symbols printed on it from her gem and moved towards it.

"Stop!" Jasper cried out as she realized what Pearl intended to do.

Pearl froze and looked over at her. "What?"

"Don't hurt it." She tacked on after a moment.

Pearl looked shocked. "It's... just a spider."

So it was called a spider. She liked her name for it better. "It isn't hurting anything. And it worked really hard on that. It even caught something." She said trying to convince her to leave it be.

Pearl was staring at her, eyes huge. She looked back at the spider and stared at it for a moment, before looking back at her. She stood up straight and returned the roll into her gem. "The others are waiting on us." She said quietly and walked to the door.

Jasper looked back at the air weaver who had simply continued with it's prey, totally unaware of what had just happened. She could not believe Pearl had listened to her. "Thank you." Jasper spoke earnestly.

Pearl stared at her for a moment, expression unreadable, before nodding and opening the door. "You're welcome."

The tall warrior looked after her for a moment. First Steven and Garnet, then Peridot and now Pearl. She had spoken earnestly to each of them and made her thoughts known and hadn't been received negatively. Amethyst was the only one that had taken her words the wrong way. Maybe she could say them in a different way like Garnet and Steven had both suggested? But how? She took a deep breath. She could do this. She opened the door and stooped to step inside.

When she looked up, she saw all of them gathered. Steven looked happy to see her and Peridot, Pearl and Garnet wore mostly neutral expressions. Amethyst, at the very back ,was anything but neutral. She was glaring with an expression that could have put Yellow Diamond to shame. Jasper felt that familiar weight settle into her chest. Could she really do this?

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 **Again thank you so much for your continued support and love. You guys are amazing! Remember to let me know your thoughts. I love hearing from you!**

 **Until next time, loves!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Pieces**

 **YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter 7**

 **A/N: THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND CONTINUED SUPPORT! Actually got this one up a tad early this time. I can't write much during the week at the moment, but I'm going to do my best to keep the updates steady to a new chapter every Sunday and occasionally try to double up. So stay tuned!**

 **Anyways, read on, Loves!**

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"Alright." Garnet spoke. "Let's go."

They all moved onto the warp pad. She was the last to step on. She had given no thought to using it before. She had figured that using it without permission would get her in trouble and she didn't want that. These gems were lax on rues, it seemed, but she wasn't quite ready to test the waters. Garnet looked down and concentrated on their destination for a moment. As the pad flared beneath them, she saw that Peridot, Pearl and Amethyst were watching her closely. A sliver of anger tightened her gut. Even if she was taking precautions against making any of them distrust her, they still did. The fact the Peridot was still suspicious of her after their long talk stung. She stood straighter under their suspicious gazes and her chin came up defiantly. She would take their suspicion... for now.

The warp activated and she looked around as they floated through warp space. Amethyst was looking at the edge of the warp, arms crossed angrily. Peridot was fiddling with an odd belt at her waist that had several of her metal cylinders attached to it. Steven was flipping end over end and giggling. Pearl sighed and reached over, stopping his spinning. He pouted slightly, but righted himself as they reached their destination. Jasper stared around in awe as a landscape different from any she'd yet seen stretched all around her; a wide field with rolling hills covered in tall, pink flowers.

Beside her Steven groaned. "Oh no! Not this place!"

"I warned you you wouldn't like where we were going." Garnet teased softly.

As Jasper watched, his eyes seemed to get waterier and he sniffled. "Yeah, but it's Jasper's first mission! I couldn't miss it!"

Jasper tsked. "Your sentimentality is going to get you in trouble."

"His sentimentality is the only reason you're here." Amethyst spat.

"Amethyst!" Garnet reprimanded.

The purple gem tsked and flipped her hair. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with." She stalked off of the pad and began wading through flowers.

Peridot sighed and started after her. Pearl shared a look with Garnet and followed. The tall fusion turned to Jasper. "Hang back with Steven. He isn't at his best in this terrain. If either of you spot anything, call for us and we'll be with you as soon as we can."

"I can keep up!" Steven protested nasally. His eyes were turning red and snot was dripping from his nose.

Garnet smiled. "Don't push yourself. Ideally, there will be nothing to find."

He pouted. "If we weren't going to find anything, then why come?"

Her smile disappeared. "Because things aren't always ideal." With that, she started after the other gems at a brisk pace.

Jasper's eyes narrowed. What was that supposed to mean? Steven sneezed loudly and snot flew everywhere. "Aw man! Stupid allergies!" He wiped his nose and smeared the snot on his shirt. Jasper shivered in disgust. "Fine! We'll go this way instead!" He turned around and stalked off in the opposite direction of the others.

Jasper hesitated. "Aren't we supposed to follow?"

"She never told us to follow, did she?" He said sullenly.

Jasper pursed her lips against a smile at his petulant tone.. She had to concede that point and started after him. A few yards into the flowers and his eyes and nose were streaming steadily. He kept going however and they were soon out of sight of the warp pad and several hills over. Steven suddenly stopped with a groan and sneezed violently a few times, spraying spit and snot on the flowers around him. Jasper grimaced and took a step back.

"What is wrong with you?!" She asked in disgust.

Steven looked up at her and sniffled pathetically. "It's the flowers. I'm allergic. It means this." He pointed at his face in answer to her questioning expression. "My body doesn't like them for whatever reason and so it thinks the flowers are bad and this is its way of trying to protect me."

Jasper blinked at him and then burst out laughing. "Even your body goes overboard to protect you!"

"It's not funny!" He whined.

Jasper tried to quell her laughter, but the ridiculousness of his condition was just too funny. The flowers weren't even hurting him and his body's reaction to the misconceived threat was more damaging than they could ever be. "Humans are weird." She snickered.

After a moment, Steven laughed too. "Yeah, I guess we kind've are."

They continued walking. Steven did his best to hold in his sneezes, but Jasper could tell the boy was miserable. "Maybe we should go back. You weren't as bad back on the warp pad."

He sniffled loudly. "Maybe you're right. I'm being stubborn." His voice sounded thicker than ever.

Jasper smirked. "I can see that."

He sighed and started back to the warp pad. "I so wanted your first mission to be fun, but I'm ruining it."

She shook her head as she walked beside him. "No. This place is pretty. I'm glad I got to see it."

"Do you like pretty things?"

Jasper blushed and looked away. She had admitted that without thought and was embarrassed with herself. It was too late to take it back now, so she answered honestly. "I like looking at them. It reminds me that not everything is bad."

"Aw. That's really sweet." He sniffled loudly.

She frowned in embarrassment. "I'm not sweet. I'm a warrior."

"Who said warriors can't be sweet?" He asked, sounding defensive.

She blinked, processing this. "I don't know. Isn't it kind've contradictory?"

Steven sneezed violently, then shrugged. "Life is full of contradictions. I still like these flowers, even though my body doesn't." He said matter of factly.

She scoffed over at him. "That's just a Steven thing. You like everything, even if it hurts you."

He grinned up at her. "That's true enough."

They heard an odd sound from behind them and Jasper felt a chill run up her spine. Steven's wide eyes reflected hers and they turned as one to look behind them. A hulking monstrosity stood not ten feet away. It stood taller than Jasper and its skin was a dark brownish, purple. It had four arms and a yellow leg stretched from the top of its head like a grotesque antennae. Two large yellow hands formed a mouth-like apparatus on its face and its cloudy eyes were two different colors. It was a fused mutation. One gem was an elongated octagon in its throat that was shot through with green and blue corruption. The other was shot through with the same blue and green on its forehead and was triangular in shape. It was the first mutated fusion she had ever seen; she hadn't even thought it was possible. The fingers on its face tapped together like it was contemplating something as it silently stared at them.

"Except I don't like that!" Steven squeaked.

"Quiet!" Jasper shushed him in a harsh whisper.

The creature was still just standing there staring at them, finger-teeth tapping together unnervingly. She knew it saw them and wondered why it hesitated to attack. Maybe she could get Steven away from it, before it made up its mind on a course of action.

Steven suddenly sneezed and the creature's gaze focused on him in an instant. _Or not_ , she thought wryly. The creature screeched and started to charge at him, limbs flailing madly.

" _Get back_!" She yelled at Steven, leaping forward to intercept the mutant's attack.

She heard him cry for help as she lashed out with a punch aimed at its side. Her fist smashed into it and she felt a jolt of pain run up her arm. Its skin was like iron and her blow seemed to have no effect. She was so surprised by this that she didn't see its attack until it was too late. It swung with both right fists. One landed solidly on her cheek, while the other slammed into her ribs. She rocked sideways, slightly dazed, and it swung with both left fists before she could recover. She crashed sideways into the ground and it screeched triumphantly. It lifted one leg to stomp on her. She slapped her hands into the bottom of its foot, halting it before it could attempt to crush her head. She forced the mutant's leg back up and shoved hard. It stumbled backwards, limbs flailing, but managed to stay upright. It screeched at her as she pushed herself onto her knees and the leg on its head began to kick at the air. It stomped a few times and screeched again.

"Made you angry, did I?" She taunted as she stood up. Her blood was singing in her veins as she materialized her helmet. This was the perfect antidote for the restlessness still stirring inside her. Enough with these new emotions. She was a warrior and battle was in her blood. A good fight was just what she needed. "Then come on! Unleash your rage and let me cure it for you, you freak!"

It screeched and charged at her. She roared a battle cry and leaped to meet its charge and the foot on its head crashed into her helmet. Both of them were forced backwards, but Jasper recovered almost instantly and went at it again. The creature was ready and they butted heads over and over, both trying to wear each other down. Jasper thought fast and dodged a headbutt and the creature's guard was momentarily broken. She took full advantage, lashing out with a punch to its abdomen, only to get the same results as before as pain flared from her knuckles. Its face twisted into an unmistakable sneer. She grinned ferally. The thrill of a challenging fight made her feel alive: it was time to stop holding back.

She jumped into the air, surprising the creature, and spun to deliver a crushing kick to the side of its head. Pain shot through her leg as it staggered sideways, but it only made her heart pound harder. If simple body blows wouldn't do the trick, then she would rattle its brain with critical hits until it could no longer fight. She let it recover for a moment, before going in again; ending it too soon would be no fun.

She had waited a second too long, however, and it clamped its hand jaws down on her fist when she moved to punch it. It made an eerily pleased sound, before lifting her off of her feet as it jerked its head into the air. She barely had time to brace herself before it tossed its head and slammed her on her back onto the ground; flower petals flew into the air as the plants were demolished beneath her. It didn't let go and lifted her again to slam her face down on its other side. She took most of the force on her knees and free arm to save her face and then was back in the air again. It shook her wildly back and forth and she felt the bones in her arm protest the violent motions; it was all she could do try try and twist herself along with them to keep it from dislocating her shoulder. She reached down with her free hand and began trying to pry the tightly clenched hands apart. It responded by slamming her into the ground again before lifting her and tossing her about again.

Its almost forgotten leg antenna began to assault her, landing heavy blows that she had no way to block as it slammed her into the ground again and again. Her vision was swimming and she was becoming less and less able to brace herself. The fight was going very badly for her and she needed to think fast.

The next time it slammed her into the ground, she managed to get her feet underneath her at the last second. She pushed against it, shoving her fist down its throat as hard as she could. Her shoulder met its fingers and she was forced to stop. It immediately released her with a heavy retching sound and coughed violently as her arm slid from its throat.

Jasper hit her knees, panting as it scrubbed its face into the ground. It began backing around in circles on all fours as it continued to retch. Brownish-white bile spewed from between its fingers and it was finally still. It stayed trembling on all fours for a moment, breathing heavily, before looking up at her with tearfully enraged eyes. It screeched, bile flying from it's mouth, and the sound was horridly hoarse.

Jasper had fully recovered at that point and stood to her full height. She dusted herself off and straightened her shirt. "What's the matter, freak? Bit off more than you could chew?"

It charged at her and she smirked. She didn't bother running to meet it and instead lowered herself into a strong crouch, bracing her entire body behind her helmet. The mutant slammed into her and she withstood the blow. It toppled over her, unable to stop as its incredible momentum met her unmovable force. It crashed to the ground on its back and flailed wildly for a moment. It was time to end it. The creature was smarter than she had given it credit for; drawing out the fight any longer would be foolish.

She stepped towards it and reached down to pluck out its gems while it was still stunned. Again, the mutation surprised her. It stuck out with its leg antenna, catching her squarely on the chin. Her head was jerked back with the force and she tasted blood in her mouth. She was only dazed for a second, but that was all it needed to regain its feet.

They stood, head to head, and it growled down at her, saliva dripping from its maw. She snarled at it and leaped backwards. Going head to head with it was not an option. She needed room to think. Before either of them could act further, a metal cylinder flew through the air to clank harmlessly against its head. Both of them looked over to see Peridot and the others standing armed and ready at the edge of the clearing they had trampled during their fight.

"Gems! Move!" Garnet yelled. She and Pearl sprang towards the mutation while Amethyst's whip sang through the air towards it.

Garnet swung her spiked fist and dealt a heavy blow to the mutant's head, snapping it back. It reeled sideways violently as Pearl slashed at it, opening up a wide cut on its chest. A moment later, Amethyst's flails slammed into it, hitting it across the shoulders and head. It screeched in pain, falling backwards. One of Peridot's cylinders hit its head and the already falling monster twitched with the impact. It landed in a cloud of dust and didn't move.

Jasper was stunned. There had been no time for it to react and their attacks had synchronized perfectly. She hung back as as Peridot cheered. It wasn't over. Garnet and Pearl moved closer, both tense and ready to move. It lay motionless as they approached and Garnet lifted her gauntleted hands to deliver the final blow. The mutant suddenly lashed out and both she and Pearl had to leap backwards as it rose in a flurry of motion. It stomped and punched at the ground, screeching, and its leg antenna kicked wildly in the air.

It charged at Pearl, who rose her spear to block, but Jasper knew she would not withstand its charge. She leaped into action and slammed into its side, stopping its charge and sending it rolling over the ground away from them. Amethyst's struck out with her whip and slammed her flails down on the mutant who was trying to rise. The force of the blow sent it crashing back down.

Garnet leaped towards it and slammed her fist into its chest so hard that its arms and legs flew upwards from the ground as its breath left in a hoarse cough. She reared back to punch it again, when it lashed out with its leg antenna and she was forced to jump backwards to dodge. It struggled to its feet and lifted its head to the sky with a screech of defiance that was cut short as another of Peridot's cylinders flew right into its mouth.

"That sound is annoying!" She cried, readying another cylinder.

The creature closed its jaws on the metal, crushing it, only to spit it out in surprise as liquid began shooting out of it through a crack in the metal. It shook its head, spitting and Pearl was suddenly there, slashing at it again. Another cut opened up on one of its arms. It cried out and lashed at her with the lower arm, catching her by surprise and she went sailing backwards into Amethyst, who was in the middle of an attack and sent them both crashing to the ground.

Jasper moved to strike the mutation as it went after them, but Garnet got there first, dealing another heavy blow to its head. The force sent it spinning and it crashed to its knees on the crushed petals. Changing coarse, Jasper kicked it in the head, sending it crashing back to the ground on its side. It was up again in moments to fend of another attack from Garnet. Both of them moved in and it struck out with both sets of arms. Jasper and Garnet blocked, but the force behind the blows sent them sliding back. Jasper's arms went painfully numb for a moment and she saw Garnet shake her hands subtly. Their attacks seemed useless and the mutant's strikes were growing more powerful the angrier it got.

"This isn't working!" Garnet cried.

Jasper tried to think, but the mutant charged again, heading right for her. She got low and braced herself, ready to send it flying again, when another of Peridot's cylinders smacked it in the head. It screeched and instantly changed course, going after her. Peridot squeaked and Steven, who had been hanging back, suddenly leaped in front of her, materializing his shield. The mutant didn't slow at the sight of it and continued towards them, gaining even more momentum. Steven looked worse than ever and seemed to have trouble keeping his puffy eyes open past the swelling. The shield wavered as he sneezed.

Jasper started running towards them as fast as she could and saw Garnet running with her out of the corner of her eye. Amethyst and Pearl had recovered and ran towards them as well. The looks on their faces matched the sudden fear in her heart; Steven was too weak to fend off a full on attack with the effect the flowers had on him. Peridot saw it too and wrapped her arms around him, trying to pull him out of the way, but it was too late. The creature struck his shield and it dissipated in an instant. They both flew backwards and Steven rolled head over heels until he finally smacked to the ground on his face and didn't move.

The Crystal Gems all cried out his name in horror. Peridot scrambled to her hands and feet and ran on all fours to him. She rolled him over and he didn't respond. The sight of him lying there so still made Jasper's heart recoil violently. A shock ran through her and she turned to the monster who had hurt him. She screamed in a crazed rage, vision swimming as her gem flared like a star on her face. She charged at it, putting all of her force behind the motion and slammed into the monstrosity with every ounce of strength she had. It flew sideways, crashing into the ground so hard it sent dirt and petals flying as it dug into the earth.

It lay there, stunned and she, Garnet and Pearl reached it at the same time. Amethyst's flails hit it a moment before all of them lashed out at it. Its body jerked violently as her fist crashed into its stomach. Pearl's pronged spear stabbed into its chest and Garnet's spiked gauntlet caught it square in the face. She reached for its gems as it twitched, ready to end it, when it burst upwards and slammed its entire body into the three of them, sending them crashing backwards.

All of them fell as it struggled to rise. Its breathing was hoarse and it looked horridly wounded, but it managed to regain its feet at the same time as they did. It stood, trembling and bleeding, but still able to fight.

"How much it going to take to take this thing down?!" Amethyst cried, coiling her whip.

Jasper tried to think of anything that would work. Pearl's attacks seemed to be the only ones that had done any lasting damage. The creature's tough hide was immune to blunt damage, but it couldn't seem to withstand the blade of her weapon. Amethyst's sharp flails had left pinpricks and Garnet's spikes larger ones, but the slashes opened up by the slender gem;s blade were bleeding heavily. The look on Pearl's face said she saw it too. It screeched and charged at Garnet, who was the closest. The fusion met its charge with her gauntlets and, though she slid backwards, she managed to force it to stop. The two began trading blows, fist to spiked fist and Jasper had a sudden idea.

"Amethyst! Take out its legs!" She cried, charging at it again while it was it was distracted by Garnet.

Amethyst's face went blank and Jasper wondered for a moment whether or not she would listen, before she lashed out with her whip. It coiled around the mutant's legs and they were forced together as she pulled it tight. Jasper crashed into its side and it toppled helplessly to the ground. Pearl saw and took the opportunity provided and leaped into the air. With a fierce cry she stabbed downward into its chest with all of her strength. The mutant's screech of pain was cut short as it finally poofed into a cloud of smoke. Its mottled gemstones clattered to the ground. Instantly, Garnet stooped and bubbled them. All of them breathed a collective sigh of relief as she placed her hands on the bubbles one by one and sent them away.

For a split second, Jasper wondered where she had sent them, before remembering Steven. The other gems were already rushing towards him and she followed. Peridot had lifted his head onto her lap. Pearl dropped to her knees beside him as Garnet knelt. Amethyst leaned past Pearl and Jasper stopped at his feet. All of them looked down on him.

Pearl reached out to him, tears in her eyes, when he suddenly sneezed, spraying her with snot. Pearl froze in shock and Steven groaned. "Oh, that hurt." He wheezed.

"Steven!" The others cried as he blinked his puffy eyes open.

He groaned again. "Ugh. Did we win?" He asked nasally.

"You bet we did!" Amethyst cried.

He sat up and wiped his nose. "Pearl? You alright?" He asked.

She was still frozen, eyes huge as his snot dripped from her nose. "I'm fine." She said haltingly in a tiny voice. She reached up and materialized a cylinder from her gem. Jasper watched as she opened it and began vigorously scrubbing her face with a cloth from inside it.

Amethyst burst out laughing. "You gave her a snot bath." She answered his questioning look.

He chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Oops. Sorry, Pearl."

"Its fine." She stammered. She took another cloth from the cylinder and kept scrubbing her face.

Garnet stooped and took a cloth from the cylinder. She handed it to Steven and picked him up from the ground. "Let's go home." She said softly.

He blew his nose in the cloth. "Please."

Peridot stood and reached out a hand to Pearl who was now wiping her neck and shoulders with yet another cloth. The slightly trembling gem took her hand and let Peridot help her to her feet. Amethyst was still snickering as they headed back to the warp pad.

After a few yards, Jasper stopped and looked behind her at the impromptu battlefield. All of the flowers there were crushed and several craters marred the once grassy ground. As she looked at the aftermath of the fight, taking in the destruction it had caused, she felt a sense of regret. It had been a pretty patch of flowers before their arrival.

"And what's wrong with you?" A voice asked from behind her. She looked back and was surprised to see Amethyst standing there.

Jasper recovered from her surprise and looked back at the destruction. "We killed the flowers."

"So?"

She shrugged. "I wish we hadn't had to." She answered honestly. She glanced back to see Amethyst looking up at her in surprise. "What?" She asked, suddenly feeling defensive.

The purple gem looked away. "Why did you ask for my help back there?" She asked, surprising Jasper again with the subject change.

"Would you rather I hadn't?" She asked tentatively, not sure how to respond.

Amethyst crossed her arms. "I just mean, why would you ask a 'weak' gem for help is all." She muttered.

Jasper blinked and turned to fully face her. "You aren't weak." She stated firmly.

Amethyst glared at her. "You're the one who said I was."

"That was before. When you faced me before, you were weak. You aren't anymore. You've grown much more powerful since the kindergarten and you know it."

Amethyst was still glaring. "Then why say all that stuff on the beach? You called me weak then too."

Jasper's brows furrowed in confusion. "No, I didn't."

Amethyst gaped, jaw dropping, before she scowled angrily. "You did! You said I would never be able to beat you."

Jasper frowned. "You can't. Not fighting like you were."

"And what's that mean?" The purple gem snapped.

Jasper sighed. "You were angry, you let your emotions get the better of you. You weren't thinking. You weren't fighting me seriously."

"I was _dead_ serious about winning!" She yelled.

"And yet you fought me like a freshly emerged rookie!" Jasper yelled back, unable to contain her anger. "You were sloppy. Not once did you try to deflect or dodge a single blow! You were acting like you were strong enough to stand toe to toe with me and you're not."

"So you _are_ saying I'm weak!" She cried, like she'd just made a point.

" _No_ , I'm not." Jasper growled. Amethyst wasn't listening to her, still fueled by her raw emotions.

Amethyst made a disgusted sound. "You literally _just_ said I wasn't strong enough to win."

"You aren't strong enough to win head to head with me on brute force alone." She firmly. "I'm bigger than you, stronger. In terms of raw strength I will always have the upper hand. _But_ -" She cut the purple quartz off before she could reply. "- strength doesn't always mean brute force."

Amethyst closed her mouth and blinked at her. "What do you mean?" She asked in a flat tone. She still looked angry, but not enraged like she had been a moment ago.

"I mean that you could probably win if you played to your strengths. So you aren't as physically strong as me. So what? You have other attributes that could counter that.

"Like what?" She asked, sounding incredulous.

"You're more agile than I am. You could easily dodge almost any attack I threw at you if you wanted."

"So all I can do is run away then?" She asked angrily.

Jasper sighed again, running her fingers through her hair in exasperation. "That's not what I meant."

"Then say what you mean!" Amethyst snapped.

"If anyone throws a punch at you, they will expect that punch to land. Even if they're expecting a counter, any attack leaves your opponent open. You could take advantage of that small window of opportunity and catch any opponent off guard. You always attack from a distance and that leaves you at a disadvantage in close range combat, its true, but you still did some damage when you were close range with me. If you hadn't let me hit you so many times, you wouldn't have gone down as quickly, but you were angry and weren't thinking about anything but hurting me. You have to protect yourself against an opponent as much physically stronger than you as I am. Your own safety was not important to you then and it cost you the fight. I tried to stop the fight when I realized that you had no intention of doing so. You didn't listen."

Amethyst stared at her, absorbing her words. "If that was what you were trying to say, then why didn't you say it like that back then?" Her tone was accusatory.

Jasper looked away. "I was harsh about it because it made me angry that someone who has been fighting as long as you have and was as powerful as you are, wasn't fighting me to your full potential. I felt insulted that you insisted on fighting me and then fought like that."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Amethyst look away as well. "I felt insulted to when you said it they way you did."

Jasper sighed. "At the time, I didn't know there was another way to say it."

Amethyst sighed too. "I guess I can't really be angry about it anymore then. Still feel like it though." Her tone was lighter.

Jasper looked back at her, her heart pounding with a strange sense of happiness that she'd made herself understood. "We might not have won today if you hadn't listened to me. Thank you for not letting your anger at me cost the fight."

Amethyst blinked at her and Jasper swore she saw the corner of her mouth twitch like she wanted to smile. "You're welcome." A blush tinted her cheeks. "I'm glad I asked you about it now."

Jasper smiled. "I'm glad you did too."

"Well. Guess we'd better catch up before they leave us behind. Steven has a burrito in the fridge I wanna swipe while he's out of commission." She said furtively as she started to walk away.

Jasper had no idea what she was talking about, but followed only a step behind. Earth customs were strange, but this whole honesty thing was starting to grow on her. Steven had been right. Saying everything on her mind and speaking from her heart was more freeing than she had ever thought possible. Seeing the good in things instead of the bad was nice. Peridot had been right too. She was learning more about herself with every event that happened. She wasn't sure she would like everything Earth and this strange group would have to teach her, but she knew she was eager to learn.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

 **Whew. I'm exhausted. How bout you guys? Haha.**

 **Thank you again so much for your outstanding support. You all have no idea how much help it is to know you are enjoying this journey we are taking with Jasper. I'm going through some pretty tough stuff right now and this story is a great escape and I so enjoy writing it and hearing from you, so thank you. A lot.**

 **Stay safe! Until next time, loves! Laters!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Pieces**

 **YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter 8**

 **A/N: Thank you again for all of your reviews and support! (not capsing that anymore as it looks wrong, but it is still no less important to say) Sorry for the lateness! And just after I'd promised too. With the approaching holidays, life is getting even more hectic and my brain is weird. More on that later, but for now, we shall press on!**

 **Read on, loves!**

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When Jasper and Amethyst stepped into view together, she could see surprise on all of their faces. No one said anything however and the warp back to the beach house was silent. Garnet immediately carried Steven up to his bed. Cat-Steven, who had been curled up on the couch, purred a greeting at them as they passed.

"Rest." The fusion ordered as she laid him gently down.

He only nodded sleepily and rolled over onto his side. Garnet covered him with a light blanket at the foot of the bed. He was already snoring when she got to the bottom of the steps.

"I need to check on something. I'll be back later." She told them all.

Her voice sounded strange to Jasper, but she remained silent as the fusion walked to the gem studded door behind the warp pad and disappeared inside. Pearl waited for the door to reset and did the same. Jasper was left standing in the house with Amethyst and Peridot.

Cat-Steven mewed at them as she stretched herself on the couch. She jumped down and padded her way to them. Jasper couldn't fight a smile as the furry creature butted her head against her boot. She knelt and began stroking her softly. Cat-Steven arced into her hand, purring loudly. After a moment, she batted Jasper's hand away with her paws and walked away. Jasper grinned at her sass; she gotten what she'd wanted and just enough thanks.

Dark, navy eyes flashed through her mind. Her smiled faded as her heart made a strange movement in her chest. One moment, she was fine, but the next, she felt suffocated.

"I'm going outside." She told them and started towards the door, forcing herself to walk at a normal pace. For some reason she suddenly wanted to run.

"You know, Jasper. You're welcome to stay inside too." Peridot told her softly.

Jasper's surprise outweighed the strange sense of fear for a moment and she glanced back to see the green gem watching Amethyst, as if fearing her reaction. Amethyst only shrugged. "I feel more comfortable out there." She told them honestly. The confined space inside the house made her uncomfortable and the sense of fear was growing stronger. She wasn't sure why. "I can keep watch." She added as an afterthought.

Peridot shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"C'mon, Peri. Let's eat!" Amethyst said enthusiastically as Jasper turned back to the door.

"Or," Peridot drew out the word. "I can just watch you eat."

"Eh, you're missing out."

"Strangely enough, I'm okay with this." She said sarcastically.

Jasper stepped out and shut the door behind her. She could hear them continue their conversation, but as she stepped to the railing, the words were muffled enough that she could tune them out. Her heart was racing and she had no idea why. She felt numb, like she wasn't quite sure she should feel anything at all, but she could still distantly feel fear hiding behind the numbness. What was happening?

She'd been fine only moments ago, but now she was shaking. Her head was swimming. She looked out at the clouds that always seemed to calm her, but they did nothing. The sky was dark, clouds a heavy gray and completely blocking the sky. Those angry looking clouds seemed to move closer, like they were falling toward her. She tore her eyes away from the dipping clouds. She began scanning the horizon for anything that needed her attention; searching desperately from something to distract her. It was somehow important that she find something outside herself to focus on. Even the waves seemed agitated, rough with the coming storm. Her breathing was ragged, as if she was choking. She didn't even _need_ to breathe, so why was the sensation of not being able to so bad?

Something huffed from her left and she reacted instantly, leaping sideways with a shout away from the sound and rolling to her feet in one swift motion. She was in a fighting crouch, ready for anything, when she finally took in that the thing that had made the sound was Lion. The great, pink beast was standing, fur ruffed and looking at her wide eyed, as if she'd spooked him.

He had come to greet her and her reaction, born of a fear that wasn't even real, had spooked him. His wide eyes haunted her. Gems had looked at her like that for most of her life. The Kindergarten Quartz Who Could. The 'Perfect' Gem. The terror of her diamonds. Their weapon of destruction and fear. But look at her now...

She didn't know what was happening. She didn't know why the thoughts were suddenly roaring in her head. She felt trapped beneath the angry clouds and the usually gently lapping waves seemed to crash right in her ears. The wind was blowing but the air still felt stagnant and heavy as she tried to breathe.

The door opened and Peridot and Amethyst came out. "Jasper?" Peridot said her name like a question. "What happened?"

"What's wrong?" Amethyst asked a second after.

Jasper was shaking again, gasping for air as a scream ripped though her mind. Her entire being rebelled against them seeing her like this. They couldn't see her like this. She had to get away. The thought rang like a bell inside her mind and it took ever single iota of her self control not to give in to that thought.

She stood up straight, muscles tense and jaw locked. A lie danced on her tongue, but she would not stoop to that. She would _not_ run and lying was just another way of running. She took a deep, shaky breath. "Lion startled me."

"Dude. You look shook." Amethyst said quietly. They were both looking at her in concern.

At that moment, she had to make a decision: Do what she had always done, which was hide behind an unshakable facade and lash out against those seeing a side of her she didn't even want to exist, or let down her guard and really do what Steven had suggested and be the her that she had never allowed herself to be; not even to herself. She opened her mouth, to do which she didn't know, but before she could do either another, third option blazed in her mind and she went with it. Because it was so unexpected and so new, she couldn't even think it to fight it and she found herself giving them a abashed grin.

"Go on, laugh." She told them. "I got scared by a pink lion." She joked.

For a moment, there was dead silence as they stared at each other, and she wondered for a terrified moment, whether or not she'd done the wrong thing. And then Amethyst's lips pursed and she snorted and Peridot started a nervous chuckle that grew into real laughter as Amethyst fully broke out into a fit of giggles.

"Big scary Jasper, scared by Lion!" Peridot guffawed, slapping her knees.

Lion seemed not to enjoy being part of the joke because he leaned close to Peridot's face and huffed. She looked up and startled to see him so close, her laughter gone in an instant. He looked into her eyes from inches away and she began flinching back, even though he hadn't done a thing. He huffed again and she jumped with a squeak behind Amethyst, who began laughing harder. This time, Jasper joined in. Peridot looked from them, to the obviously smug lion and began laughing too.

Jasper stood with them, surrounded by laughter, when moments before she'd felt like the world might be about to crush her. The thought to laugh it off came in an instant and she had never thought to do it before. Laughter had been another way of hiding. In a way, it still was, but it was less shameful somehow than ignoring it or being angry about it. She was acknowledging the embarrassment and shame. And it felt... _good_.

The fear was washed away in a tide of laughter and she felt her trembling cease. She took a deep breath and looked back up at the sky. The dark clouds were still there, but they were high above her again, more like a blanket than a net. She looked out at the crashing waves and was again able to see the beauty in their curling and splashing forms. She felt herself fully relax as she stared out at the power of the agitated sea.

"You like the sea, don't you?" Peridot asked her.

She looked down to see the both of them standing beside her. Peridot had one hand on the railing, Amethyst was curled over it on her elbows on Peridot's other side. "I think I do." She answered honestly. "I spent... a lot of time there." She couldn't keep a slight darkness from her voice as the words slipped out. The sky above them rumbled, accenting her sudden mood perfectly. "It was all I knew for a long time." She looked over to see the two of them staring up at her with wide eyes. She wanted to ease the sudden tension so she shrugged. "I still like looking at it though. Just from up here now. No more bubbles." She affected a smile.

Peridot's eyes narrowed. "Lapis never talked about it much, but... what she did tell me was... bad." The last was a whisper.

Jasper clenched her jaw and looked away. "It was. It was bad."

"I thought you liked it. The power you got being... her." Peridot said quietly.

Jasper shook her head. "We were powerful, but..." She sighed and decided on a whim to tell Peridot a piece of her life. She had spent time with Lapis and would be the one who would understand what she was trying to say. "Did Lapis ever tell you about me finding her on the boat? With Steven?" She looked back at them.

Peridot's eyes looked so wide it seemed they'd pop from their sockets. Amethyst was looking from one to the other, eyes wide as well. "No." Peridot's voice was very careful. "She didn't."

Jasper looked away again, staring out at the waves. "I did. I'd been trying to track her for months in the sea. I didn't know she was away from the ocean. I thought she'd be there, because she was a Lapis Lazuli. Even while we were..." She trailed off and changed track. She did not want to talk about the bad parts of their fusion with anyone else. Steven already knew and had promised not to tell. "Using it as a weapon was hard for her. I saw where she tried to steal it once. She took the ocean and tried to make a bridge back to Homeworld."

"Really?" Peridot asked in shock.

"I remember that." Amethyst murmured. "She made us fight copies of ourselves. Even though she was already holding up the entire ocean, she was still able to make us fight copies that moved and fought like we did. We were actually losing before Steven went up."

"You let Steven go up there alone?" Peridot asked, still shocked.

Amethyst sent her a look. "Of course we didn't _let_ him! He went on his own while we were fighting. We tried to stop him. She was _so_ powerful and we were afraid she'd hurt him."

"But instead he healed her and she gave back the sea." Jasper finished for her.

Peridot looked down. "She never told me that." Her voice was very quiet, barely discernible under the sound of the rough sea and strengthening wind. "So that was what Connie meant that day. I asked Lapis about it later, but she just said it was a long story."

"I only saw it through her memories. Even when she took the sea, she tried to make sure she gathered as many of the animals with it as she could. She didn't care in the front of her mind, but later she knew why she'd done it. She didn't want to hurt Earth. Even after being prisoner here for so long, she didn't want to hurt it. I didn't understand it then." She sighed heavily. "But I think I'm starting to."

Peridot was looking up at her with an almost haunted look in her eyes. "You... really got that from her?"

Jasper didn't understand the look in her eyes or what it meant, but she got the sense that Peridot was sad. She didn't understand why. "What?" She asked, blinking at her.

Peridot blinked back. "It's just... she never told me that. And … we were together a long time. I even tried to talk to her about it." She sounded... sad. Pained.

Jasper still didn't understand why Peridot was sad, but she felt the urgent need to clarify something. "She never _told_ me. I was connected to her mind." She said, trying to make sure Peridot was actually listening. "We couldn't see all the way inside each other, but strong thoughts came through. No matter how much we fought against the melding, it would happen in stages until one or the other of us pulled away. The more I saw in her, the more she saw in me and I had, and still have, no intention of ever sharing some of the things that were shared between us. It was never intentional. She got to choose what she told you. The way it's supposed to be." Her thoughts had taken a dark turn as she spoke and she wished she could take back a few things she'd said, but it was too late.

Peridot looked up at her and there was a fire in her eyes that Jasper had never seen before. "All Lapis ever got from you was bad." She said through gritted teeth, almost growling. "She would start awake at night, screaming your name and be terrified for hours. Sometimes she flew away, screaming that you were there, chasing her. She'd stand for hours and cry because of what you did to her and would never even tell me what was wrong, even when it was your name on her lips and I already knew. She was destroyed after you. Broken. I know because I had to try to help her put herself back together again. And I couldn't even see all the pieces to do it right, because she never let me in. But always your name on her lips. But yeah, it was so bad for _you._ " A flash of lightning made her face seem superimposed with that dark and angry expression.

Jasper felt as if she'd been slapped. Peridot was looking up at her as if she were staring up at evil. Lapis had truly never shared what had happened between them as Malachite. She suspected it before, because of Steven, but as she'd learned of Peridot's relationship with Lapis, she had assumed that Lapis had at least told _her_ the truth. She had known it had to have been as bad an experience for Lapis as it had been for her; worse even; and now she knew.

Lapis had been just as broken as she was, but Lapis had had Steven and Peridot while she'd had nothing but her shame. No one to turn to except for the one who had broken her. She felt a hint of resentment, but was... glad that Lapis had had someone to turn to. She wanted to be mad that Lapis had been able to move on, but she didn't want to wish the time she had spent alone after on anyone, much less her. Those had been her darkest days. For a moment, she wondered if things might have been different if she had had someone to turn to. Even if Lapis had never talked about her trauma like Jasper had.

Jasper hadn't been defected for a single day and she had _already_ talked about it. She was ashamed of herself for breaking so quickly, but it had happened and she couldn't take it back. She couldn't believe that Lapis had talked to no one about it. It didn't seem right. Why would she not talk about it even though she had the support she had needed to let it out? But that was Lapis' business, not hers.

And now, she had to deal with these gems who all saw her as the aggressor in her fusion with Lapis. She could see how they would deduce that. She could tell by the way they were looking at her that they had no true inkling of the incredible power inside the Lapis Lazuli they knew so well. Even if they had both seen her fight, they had never been truly at her mercy when she was at her strongest. They had no idea of the darkness with in her; because Lapis had never given them a chance to experince it.

If Lapis had decided not to share it, then she would honor that decision. Even if it meant telling a lie, though she really preferred being honest. In a strange sense, Lapis had trusted in her secrets remaining secrets and it wasn't her place to hand them out like gifts. They were Lapis', not hers.

The sky rumbled louder, the sound of thunder rolling around them like it had an almost physical force. "If she didn't tell you about Malachite, then I won't say anymore. It's not fair to Lapis."

Peridot stared up at her in shock and then her face transformed into a mask of rage. Her shoulders squared and she stood taller, chin down and looking ready to fight. "Fair?" She asked, her voice a wavery whisper. " _Fair_!" She spat like she didn't believe what she was saying. She looked up at Jasper and the tall warrior was pinned with her enraged glare. " _ **Fair**_?!" She screamed, voice shrill. "How _dare_ you talk about fair! I was the one she turned to with tears in her eyes when she had a nightmare! I was the one who had to help her fight back from some edge she was standing on in her own head! I've never seen someone as broken as she was. And I've seen some broken gems." Her voice was sneering and she laughed darkly, like she was making a sick joke. "The archives." She said as if she were saying something profound, though she twisted it to make it a mockery. Lightning flashed again, flickering through the sky like it was chasing something; or running from the sound of thunder which started almost the moment the lightning stopped.

Jasper felt a chill run up her spine as she remembered the archives. Normal gems were never allowed near it and only the higher class gems ever actually glimpsed it. Few, very very few, had access to the data stored in those files and then they only had access to a select few. The history of everything they knew was contained within them. The answer to every question they'd ever thought to ask.

Peridot had been highly ranked, but she hadn't realized she'd been high enough to be cleared to access those files. She'd never even come close. How much did the enraged green gem in front of her know?

"I poured through them for the diamonds, collecting data for whatever they needed. You ever see the archives, Jasper? Do you know how many files you have to search? Endless data. No matter how hard or deep I dug, there was always deeper to go. And here and there, hidden in the mundane data about injector designs and scrapped plans for Diamond cities and structures, were things that were never meant to be seen. And the files would close almost as soon as I would open them and they'd disappear into the programming and I could never find them no matter hard I looked. It would drive me insane, those glimpses and I'd search for them and forget all about the task I was meant to do for the Diamonds. That's why I got reassigned. That's the reason I got transferred to checking on the gem based operations here. I was never a Kindergartner, though I of course knew all of the process, it didn't make sense to assign someone with no actual experience. It's inefficient. There was only one explanation. I was being punished for defying them. And that's what started this whole thing." She laughed, but it wasn't a good one.

"All because I saw something I was never meant to see and wouldn't let it go. I saw things in those glimpses that I didn't understand, but the glimpses stayed with me. And some of those glimpes were gems like Lapis. Broken, broken gems. Gems of all kinds. Pearls. Amethysts. Jaspers. All kinds. I never knew what happened to them. I never knew what had broken them and why." She had been looking out into space, like she was seeing things they couldn't, but now her eyes focused back on Jasper and they were again pools of rage. "But I _know_ what broke Lapis." Her voice was dark.

"Whoa, Peri." Amethyst suddenly said in a fake cheerful voice. "Maybe we should take this a step down."

Peridot shot her a glare over her shoulder. "Don't belittle it, Amethyst!" She snapped.

Amethyst's eyes went wide and she make a disbelieved sound. "Um, what?"

The sky crashed again, lightning flashing more frequently now. It was almost like the atmosphere was reacting to their situation. Jasper didn't have time to contemplate the thought as Peridot made a small sound under her breath.

Peridot was still glaring at Amethyst, but she stayed facing Jasper. "You _know_ what! You always belittle things that you don't understand."

Amethyst's jaw dropped. " _ **What**_?! Don't understand? Exactly _what_ don't I understand, huh?"

Peridot finally spun to face her. "You haven't seen the things I've seen! You never saw Lapis like she was before! You've never seen a gem broken like that. I have!"

Amethyst crossed her arms and flipped her hair, so that it cascaded over one eye and she looked over at Peridot from behind the thick sheet of it. "I've seen a broken gem before, Peri. I see one every time I look in a _mirror_!" Her voice had risen until the last had been a scream.

Peridot tsked in exasperation and shook her head, throwing her hands in the air. "You aren't broken, Amethyst." She said in a bored tone, like she'd said it before.

Amethyst snorted and looked away. "Now who's belittling?" She said the words in a disinterested tone. She bit her bottom lip and looked back at Peridot. She shrugged, bumped her cheek to her shoulder, and the seemingly innocent gesture was somehow threatening.

Peridot stomped her foot. "It isn't the same thing!" She cried indignantly.

"How is that not the same thing?" Amethyst cried back, just as indignant.

Peridot's hands flew into the air again in an angry gesture. "I don't know! It just... _is_!" She cried, shouting over the rumbling of the sky.

Amethyst turned away, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. "Whatever, Peri." She waved it off with one hand. The gesture came across as dismissive.

Peridot trembled with anger for a moment and even though Jasper couldn't really see her face, she knew the expression was mad. But Peridot, surprised her by taking a deep breath and, as she exhaled, she calmed slightly. "Amethyst, I didn't mean it like that." She said in a placating tone.

Amethyst shook her head, hair drifting in waves down her back. "No. It's okay. I get it. Your stuff was more traumatic than mine. Of course it is." She said the last in a leering tone.

"No." Peridot said firmly, her voice tight. "That's not true. Your trauma was just different. That doesn't give it any less validation." She sounded like she was quoting something.

Amethyst looked up with another small shake of her head. "Ugh, I hate it when you talk in that tone. That stuck up, know-it-all-tone. Like you know everything and no one else knows a thing." Lightning crackled into the air, arcing out with a boom of thunder so loud that it rattled Jasper's bones.

Peridot seemed not to notice as shook a finger at the purple quartz, though of course, she couldn't see it. "I did not say that." She said defensively.

Amethyst hissed a laugh. "You didn't have to. You act it all the time."

"Amethyst. _What_ are you _talking_ about?" Peridot asked her in an almost snarl. "I was _trying_ to apologize and you started in with this. _What is this_?" She asked, speaking each word individually and separate. She gestured with both hands as if she was gesturing to some invisible object.

"Um, you're the one that started this." Amethyst shot Peridot a glare over her shoulder. "All I asked you to do was calm down. And then you started talking down on me."

"That's because you always make jokes when we're being serious!"

Amethyst spun to face her. "Well, excuse me for trying to stop you from making a fool out of yourself! She's gone, Peri, and she isn't coming back. You can't keep clinging to this. To her." Her voice cracked and her eyes shimmered. Her long hair was drifting violently in the wind, but a tilt of her head kept it out of her eyes.

Peridot was utterly still for a moment. "I am _not_ clinging to Lapis." She said firmly. One of her hands lifted, as if she wanted to touch the gem before her, but she drew it back to her chest when Amethyst narrowed her eyes. "I still care about her, Amethyst. I will always care about her and I can't change that. But defending her and being angry on her behalf is not clinging."

Jasper had remained silent long enough. Whatever was going on between Amethyst and Peridot was her fault and she wanted to fix it, even if it meant sharing a small piece of her pain. "You don't have to defend Lapis to me." She spoke firmly, instantly capturing her attention; they seemed like they'd forgotten she was even there. "Lapis did nothing wrong. We were at war. We all do things in battle that we regret. And Malachite was one of those things." She looked down from their silent and shocked faces and decided to finish her earlier point. "When I found Lapis on the boat... I asked her to take me back."

Peridot gasped. "You didn't!"

Jasper looked up with a pained grin. "I did. I promised her it would be better and that I could change. She turned me away, but I meant what I said to her. I was willing to change then, but it was for the wrong reason. I'm willing to change now, for what I hope is the right one. And I never would have had the chance without the Lapis Lazuli that I underestimated from day one. Even though I know I wouldn't have had the chance to try this time if she'd been here, I don't hate Lapis, and I don't blame her for hating me." She looked Peridot right in the eye as she said the last.

The green gem held her gaze for a long moment. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again with a shake of her head, cutting off whatever she was about to say. She stayed silent for a long moment.

She opened her mouth again, a strange look in her eyes, when rain began pouring down in sheets, instantly drenching them. The wind lashed harder than ever, sending it flurrying in all directions. Lion leaped for the door and began pawing at it frantically.

"Everyone inside!" Peridot yelled.

She and Amethyst dove for the door, but Jasper hesitated. She had seen storms like this with Lapis and while she was alone. Lapis had known the terms for them, but not the reason behind them. They had never hurt her, though she instinctively got the sense that they could be dangerous and had always taken some form of shelter. For some reason though, being entirely enclosed in the house was less appealing than taking whatever the storm could dish out. She did not know why; it was roomier than most of the ships she had had to spend far too much time in for someone her size.

Just inside the door, Pumpkin was happily playing in the shed water as Amethyst, Peridot and Lion shook it off of themselves and she heard Pearl's voice scolding them. Apparently, she had come out of her room just in time. Jasper stood in the rain as the wind increased and realized she was being a fool. Even if the house was claustrophobic for her, the storm was too severe to justify her staying outside. She gritted her teeth and walked resolutely to the open door.

"Yo, Jazz! Get in here!" Amethyst shouted.

Pearl appeared in the doorway and frowned at her. "Inside, this instant!" She cried.

Jasper fought a smile at the shrill order, feeling like she was back under Holly Blue Agate. She did as she was told and stepped in, dripping water everywhere. She shook herself off and all three of them cried out. Lion gave her a disgusted look and leaped up to lay at the foot of Steven's bed. He began licking himself furiously.

"Towels! We need towels!" Pearl cried, like they were facing a disaster.

"On it!" Peridot called, already headed to the room she apparently slept in.

A loud grunt had Jasper looking to where Steven lay. He groaned and sat up. "What's happening?" He asked, voice sounding thick.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry for waking you, Steven." Pearl said apologetically.

He yawned hugely. "S'ok."

Peridot walked back into the room with her arms so full of towels, she couldn't see where she was walking. Pumpkin happily skipped around her feet, so it was a wonder she didn't fall as she came to deposit them on the couch. She picked up one that was longer than she was tall and began folding it into a usable length.

"Now you can help us clean up!" Amethyst called, leering up at him.

"You don't have to do that, Steven." Pearl said softly. "You just rest and feel better."

"I feel much better now. I can help!" He said, standing and kicking on his shoes, which had fallen when Garnet had put him to bed.

He came down the stairs and grabbed a towel. Amethyst picked up a few and threw one to Jasper. The tall warrior caught it instinctively. She watched them all begin clean up the water together for a moment.

On Homeworld, the lowest ranked gems took care of cleaning except in cases of punishment. Higher ranked gems saw it as a natural thing for the lesser to tend to all of their mundane tasks. It had been a long time since she had had to clean anything but herself.

But, as she watched them all cleaning up the water, she saw again there was no rank here. Peridot was on her knees beside Pearl, smiling up at the slender gem who was telling her something.. Amethyst popped her towel at Steven, who retaliated and they were both laughing.

They seemed so at peace. A weight settled in her chest, but it didn't feel like a bad one. It was more like she'd been given a gift, though she couldn't describe what it was except that she suddenly felt... happy. She felt laughter bubbling up from inside her and she let it out, throwing back her head to laugh.

Amethyst and Steven were laughing with her. After a few moments, Pearl's soft laugh and Peridot's chuckle joined the sounds of happiness. At the back of the room, the large door suddenly flared to light and Garnet stepped into the room.

She stopped short and stared at them all and the water everywhere. They went quiet. All of them were still wet. Pumpkin was still splashing happily, as if silence hadn't fallen over the room.

Garnet shook her head. "I don't even want to know." Her voice was exasperated.

Jasper looked around at the others and for some reason felt the urge to laugh again. She fought it and saw the others were fighting it too, even Pearl. They were all giving each other furtive looks. Steven put both hands over his mouth, cheeks puffing out with contained air. Amethyst was the first to break, laughter bursting out of her as she snorted.

Jasper couldn't hold it in and she laughed too, the others quickly joining. Garnet began to chuckle as they all laughed and laughed. Jasper had never felt this kind of happy. She felt a pang of regret deep in her heart for the life she might have had, but the feeling was drowned out but a stronger sense of goodness. As they sobered, she looked around at them all and saw them all smiling just as big as she was. She could get used to this.

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 **Laughter definitely is the best medicine, wouldn't you agree? This chapter was difficult in several ways, and it took me a bit longer to make it satisfactory to me, so sorry for the delay. My fascination with the conflicts between characters and the many diverse ways of interpreting almost any spoken sentence caught me up for a while and I found my self rewriting several sections multiple times and seeing what outcomes could come from the same conversation said in a slightly different way.**

 **I ended up doing it for several future sections as well as other stories I'm working on and got lost in the writing for awhile. I made almost zero progress, but at least it was fun. I should have waited until after I finished this chapter to get off track, but I honestly didn't know what kind of rabbit hole I'd stumbled into. Live and learn.**

 **Thank you again so much for your continued support. I do really enjoy hearing from you. Now, I'm off to make some macaroni and cheese and get lost in words again! Yay, for weekends off!**

 **Until next time, loves!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Pieces**

 **YuriYaoiHet_ILoveEmAll**

 **Chapter 9**

 **A/N: Thank you all so much for your continued response! Sorry for the skipped week. I won't keep you here and will instead talk about it at the end.**

 **Read on, loves!**

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After they cleaned up the water, they all began doing different things. Pearl was sitting on the couch, quietly playing with an electronic device similar to Peridot's only much smaller. Peridot and Amethyst were watching something on a screen with Steven up the stairs. Garnet sat beside Pearl, arms spread along the back of the couch, legs crossed and head resting back. She was the picture of relaxed.

Lion was asleep in a large ball and Cat-Steven and Pumpkin were chasing each other quietly all through the house. Jasper wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. The storm was still raging outside, thunder and lightning flashing and crashing above them. It felt strange to be in a bubble of safety within the raging storm.

There was one thing that made her very uncomfortable that she hadn't really registered before. It was a large picture of Rose Quartz. She couldn't look at it without all of her negative thoughts towards her playing through her mind. But yet, she couldn't keep her eyes away.

Rose Quartz had been a beautiful gem and there was gentleness about the portrait that she'd never seen before interacting with these Crystal Gems. The gentle expression made her yearn for something, though she wasn't sure what. She felt... lonely, but she was surrounded by the Crystal Gems.

Only Steven had spoken to her about Rose, but she already knew how highly they all regarded her. She had been a leader to them and, studying their relationships, they had probably been very close. What had the rebellious Rose been like outside the battlefield? She wanted to know, but didn't want to break the peace in the house by bringing it up.

"Something on your mind, Jasper?" Garnet asked softly.

Jasper looked away from the portrait and over at the fusion. Garnet was still in the same position, but she was looking at Jasper. The warrior gem couldn't see her eyes, but the knowing curl of her lips let Jasper know what her true expression was. Sapphire's unnerved her and that was a sapphire look if she'd ever seen one. Garnet's Sapphire was much more feisty than those back on Homeworld. That only made it worse.

Pearl looked up from her device and glanced between the two of them. "Something wrong?" She asked, speaking just as softly as Garnet had.

"No. Nothing's wrong." Jasper told her, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Garnet sat up, resting her elbows on her knees and looked fully at Pearl. "Jasper wants to talk about Rose."

Jasper gaped at the fusion, her heart skipping a beat as Pearl's expression went blank. "What?" Her tone was dark, not matching that carefully blank expression at all. When she looked up at Jasper, there was a glint in her eyes that reminded the tall warrior gem of the deadly blade she wielded.

Jasper put up her hands, not wanting trouble. "I wasn't the one who said it."

Garnet looked back at her. "But you do."

Jasper was about thirty Earth seconds from walking out the door, storm or no storm. "I don't want trouble." She growled.

"It isn't trouble to be curious." Garnet's tone was reassuring, but Pearl's eyes were not.

"Why do you want to talk about Mom?" Steven asked.

Jasper looked up to see that Steven, Amethyst and Peridot had stopped watching the screen and were instead watching them. Jasper sighed, running her fingers through her hair and scratching her scalp. Now she _had_ to talk. And once she started, the words just came pouring out.

"I just realized that I have only ever thought of her in one way. I've only ever seen her as the one who broke my Diamond and the reason that I had to fight. She's always been the reason why, but you all don't see her like that. She was a leader to you. She was close to you in this new Earth way you all do things that defies everything Homeworld is. It... made me wonder what she was like off the battlefield. Did she do this too?"

"Do what?" Pearl asked in that carefully neutral tone, though her voice had a bite to it.

Jasper gestured around at them. " _This_. Just... be at peace. It's like we didn't even fight earlier. It's like there isn't a huge storm outside. You're all so relaxed. No one is on guard. No one is preparing for the next strike or training. I don't understand."

Peridot raised her hand. "That's what I've been telling you, Jasper. Life on Earth is different. We just enjoy being together without worrying about the next fight. We know it can happen and we know things might go wrong. We do train and we do talk about it, just not all the time. Relaxing is just as important as being ready all the time."

Jasper shook her head. "I still don't get it." She said in exasperation. "It just seems careless. Did Rose do this too? Just let the pieces fall where they may?"

Pearl looked away, body tense. "Not in the way you mean."

Garnet leaned into her, bumping her side against Pearl's. "Talk to her about Rose. Then maybe she will understand." The words were soft and full of a meaning that Jasper couldn't interpret.

Pearl's carefully neutral expression dissolved and a a universe of emotion played through her eyes, before a softer one took it's place. It was the expression she wore when she looked at Steven. It was the expression on Rose's face in the picture. The strange yearning echoed through her. What did it mean?

"Okay." Pearl said simply, her voice warm.

"Pearl's gonna talk about Mom!" Steven cheered.

He stood up and jumped into the main of the house, floating gently down to sit in front of the couch before Pearl and Garnet. Amethyst and Peridot exchanged smiles and came to join him, sitting together at Steven's side. Amethyst sprawled out on her side, head propped on an elbow and Peridot sat holding her knees, leaning slightly back into her. Steven looked over at Jasper with an eager smile and patted the floor near him. They made a nice picture, all together and, for a moment, she felt the sense that she didn't belong in that happy picture. But Steven was smiling at her and Garnet nodded, so she came to sit beside him, crossing her legs and resting her hands on her knees.

Pearl looked around at them all and took a deep breath. "Rose could be careless." She began. "She was serious about Earth and her need to defend it. She was serious about freedom for gems, all of life, really, but she also took the time to _enjoy_ that life." She was looking at Jasper when she said the last. Jasper couldn't keep her expression neutral and leaned forward eagerly. She wanted to know so badly about the careless side of her nemesis, not because she wanted to hear of the late Rose's weakness, but because she got the sense that her carelessness, just like the carelessness of the gems around her, was a piece of why she had been so powerful. "Even the tiniest pieces of life were precious to her. We... met under strange circumstances, but she cared about all life she encountered here on Earth. I didn't understand all that she saw in life. I still don't." Her voice held a great sadness and her expression was etched with profound grief. Tears shimmered in her eyes as she looked at Steven and smiled at him through all that pain. "You do the same thing and it still confounds me." She laughed tearfully. Her watery eyes met Jasper's for a moment and for some reason, Jasper remembered the air weaver. Pearl looked away and dabbed at her eyes. "I'm just a big mush." She joked. Garnet put an arm around her.

"Aw, Pearl." Steven said affectionately.

"I'm okay." The pale gem said shakily.

Jasper felt bad that something she had brought up was so obviously upsetting to Pearl. She didn't like talking about certain things, especially the things that made her emotional. Part of her felt like it wasn't her place to speak, but she wanted to tell her that. "We can talk about something else if it's upsetting you."

Pearl looked over at her in surprise. "Thank you, but I'm okay. Really."

"Talking helps." Garnet said firmly. She was looking right at Jasper when she said it. The tall warrior gem internally cringed from the jab and hid it by shifting her position slightly to settle more comfortably on the floor. She _had_ been talking, hadn't she?

"It does." Pearl agreed, oblivious to the exchange. She took another deep breath and let it out slow. "As I was saying, Rose loved life and all of it's complexities. She showed me a lot during our first few years together on Earth. I became and entirely different gem and so did she. She was fascinated by humans and studied them... a bit too closely at times." She smiled over at Steven, who chuckled. Amethyst snickered and Peridot elbowed her. Garnet was smiling widely. It clicked in Jasper's mind what Pearl was saying and how Steven had probably come to be and felt herself blush brightly at the thought. If anyone noticed, they said nothing and Pearl continued, in slightly darker tone. "We fought in many battles during that time and she was saddened by every loss on either side. We gained allies. Lost allies. Made friends." She smiled at Garnet and Amethyst. "Some terrible things happened and we had to rise to meet many challenges, but even in the most serious of times, Rose always enjoyed the world around her. Every new discovery excited her to no end. And yes it was careless." She looked at Jasper again. "But it made her fight all the harder to protect what she loved." There was an intensity in her eyes that cut Jasper to the core.

There was that word _again_! Love. It always came back to that. What was love?

She could understand the rest easily enough; she had experienced some of the same wonder first-hand. The tides, crab, the glassing sand, the air weaver- she really did like that name more than spider- were all things she had learned about here. And she might not know the purpose of the crab or air weaver or know why the sand glassed over in reaction to enough physical force, but she knew more about them than she had before, which was nothing.

Earth worked in mysterious ways and so did the gems and creatures who lived here. And if the Earth had been turned into a colony, none of it would exist. These experiences she was having and the good things she was learning would never have happened. It all would have been washed away in a tide of destruction and Homeworld would have yet another completed colony to use for resources.

There would be no crabs or air weavers. There would be no tides. No ocean. She would never have met Lapis to be broken by her. She would have never known about being truly honest or the happiness that laughter could bring. She would never have even _existed_ if not for Rose Quartz!

Her heart felt broken and her mind swam. The only good that had come out of her life had actually come from the same source that had caused her another lifetime of pain and fear. How had she not made the connection before now? Her soul was in turmoil. She hated Rose Quartz for the life she had been forced into, and yet... she now also felt grateful.

These new experiences were hard and the lessons painfully learned, but each one felt good in a way she had never experienced. She wasn't sure yet how she felt about all that she was learning, but she was actually learning instead of being trapped in the same terrifying task like she was before. And she felt grateful, but there was still a deeply buried resentment that she couldn't, maybe even didn't want to, uproot. She had still experienced a lot of bad because of the decisions made by her and some of the gems sitting around her. She didn't hold it against the ones still here, because they had been following Rose and her decisions had dictated them all.

But now there was a new way to think about it. Rose had been the first, to her knowledge, to ever look beyond her task and find a reason to break from it. She had been the first to look outside of their world and get a glimpse of the life outside of it. And she had been the first to see the wonder in it.

She wondered now if Rose had seen the stars like she now did. They weren't just points to map, they were beautiful. Had she seen the great creatures that moved through the ocean of this tiny planet that were bigger than the Diamonds themselves? Had she stood beneath a raging storm and dared it to strike her down where she stood and instead been awed by it? Had she ever looked out at the great rolling waves of the sea and felt small?

Even though she still resented her, she suddenly got the feeling that she would have liked to meet her, just once, to ask. The thought settled into her mind, shedding new light inside her. This was another side of things she had never thought about.

She'd never thought of her enemies and what they were like. She'd never taken the time to truly get to know another being except to discover their weaknesses. She had never thought of anyone else at all. Her life had been... lonely. And even though she still enjoyed being alone, she found she did not mind being around these gems.

She was more comfortable around them in one way and more tense in a different one, and it didn't necessarily feel bad. Just confusing. There was still a lot for her to learn. And she wouldn't be learning it all without Rose Quartz.

Lapis had seen it before she had, though Lapis had focused mainly on Steven without associating him with Rose. Peridot had seen it too. Many gems had. She had a sudden guilty thought.

How many gems had stood between her and Rose during the war? How many gems had she struck down for seeing it while she had been blind? How many lives had been lost and creatures destroyed and landscapes flattened in the name of Homeworld and its refusal to accept defeat?

How many worlds had been destroyed before and after this one? How may planets and lives had she demolished in her rampage for the Diamonds who she despised even as she worshiped them? How much destruction had she caused in the name of a cause she had been too afraid to stray from? She was crushed under the weight of her guilt.

Rose had had the courage to defy the Diamonds and even if Earth had suffered and gems had been destroyed, she had still won in the end. Even if she was no longer here now. She had truly given her life to live on Earth and embrace it to it's fullest. And Steven, strange and kind Steven was a result of her devotion.

She was moved and awed by this new knowledge. She felt as if she understood so many things, and yet she still had so many questions; so many things she wanted to ask. It was as if she had fully come alive and seen the world though new eyes. Her heart was pounding as a new urge came to life inside her. She wanted to know more. More about everything: life on Earth and all of it's mysteries.

"You okay, Jasper?" Steven whispered from beside her.

She blinked and glanced around. The rest of the gems were talking quietly, but Steven was looking at her. She smiled at him. "Yeah. Yeah I think I am." She whispered back.

He smiled back. "Good. I'm glad." He looked back at the others and watched them for a moment. "They're kind've great, aren't they?" He asked, still whispering.

Jasper agreed in a way, but her happy made her want to joke about it. "I don't know." She whispered, sounding unconvinced. "The green one makes me nervous."

Steven burst out laughing. She was grinning hugely as the others looked around. "What's so funny?" Peridot asked in a testy tone.

Steven stopped laughing for just a moment and looked at Jasper with eyes full of mirth. She tried to fight the urge to laugh at Peridot's response, but with that, combined with the look on Steven's face, she couldn't even try. Laughter burst from her and Steven laughed with her.

"I don't get it." Amethyst said, confused.

Steven sobered slightly and wiped a tear from his eye. "It's nothing. I'm just not used to Jasper's sense of humor yet."

She smirked. "It's my new secret weapon." It was true. Laughter was quickly becoming one of her favorite things and making others laugh was fun. She'd never really had fun before, not in this way. It was … freeing.

"Erm, how can it be a secret if we all know about it?" Peridot asked.

Jasper looked over at her, still smirking arrogantly. "You might know what it is, but you'll never know when it's coming."

Steven stood with a cheer. "Surprise attack! Yah!" He punched at the air.

A blinding flash of light and an almost simultaneous and deafening crash of thunder followed the action, as if on queue. The lights in the house winked off. Peridot squeaked and the lights flickered back on for a moment, before going dark again.

"I got this." Pearl spoke from the darkness. Her gem shone blindingly bright as she materialized a strange object from it. Jasper heard a click and then a low, somehow warm looking light shone from it.

Pumpkin suddenly tackled Peridot and the green gem fell slightly sideways with the impact. The orange creature curled into her lap, shivering. "Aw. Is my little Pumpkin Spice scared of the big storm?" Peridot cooed at her.

Amethyst snorted. "It amuses me so much that you use that as her nickname."

Peridot cut her eyes at the purple quartz behind her. "You're the one that picked it. I think it's cute."

Amethyst was grinning hugely at her. "It is." Her tone was soft.

"Well." Steven sighed. "What do we do now?" A strange digital tune filled the air and the boy jumped, before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a device that looked similar to the one Pearl had used. "It's Connie!" He sounded very excited as he tapped the screen and held the device to his ear. "Hi, Connie!" He paused for a minute. "Yeah. It's pretty bad. We lost power." He paused again. Jasper had been momentarily confused, but now realized that the device allowed him to communicate with someone. She remembered him mentioning this 'Connie' before and wondered exactly who she was. "Actually, hang on a second." He pulled the device from his ear. "I'm gonna take this upstairs." He told them. He stood and put the device back to his ear. "I'm back. You were saying?"

"Well. Steven is occupied until his phone dies." Amethyst said dryly.

"Shush!" Pearl hissed. "Don't tease him. They are adorable."

Amethyst shrugged. "Yeah, you're right. How long does the battery in that thing last?"

Pearl glanced down at the light in her hands. "I'm not really sure. I can't even remember how long I've had it."

"There are some candles in one of the kitchen drawers." Garnet offered, standing.

"I may have a few flashlights or some more lanterns and batteries in my room." Amethyst said with a yawn. "Might take a while to find 'em though."

"I'll help!" Peridot chimed in. She stood, scooping the still shivering Pumpkin into her arms. "Let's go find some light sources, yeah?" She cooed at the creature.

Amethyst joined her and together they walked to the gem encrusted door and disappeared inside. Garnet was rummaging around in the 'kitchen' as she had called it. Steven was talking softly into the 'phone'. She thought the terms to herself firmly to remember them. Pearl was quietly staring at the light in her hands and thunder still raged outside.

"Maybe I should call the human authorities and report the outage?" Pearl asked, looking up at Garnet.

"They already know. We'll have power at 10:36 A.M." She said matter-of-factly.

Pearl hummed and pulled out her phone. "Thank you." She called. She tapped the screen to turn it on and began tapping it as if she were typing something.

"And who are you texting?" Garnet asked teasingly.

Pearl blushed brightly and put the phone to her chest. "No peaking inside my head!" She scolded. Jasper hid her smile at Pearl's indignant tone. So Garnet did it to the other's as well. Living for an extended period of time with the fusion must be an interesting experience.

Garnet chuckled. "I don't have to. Your face says it all."

Pearl sent her a scathing look. The phone made a ringing noise in her hands and the pale gem jumped, before putting it to her ear. "Hello?" She paused. "Oh, he's on the phone with Connie." Another pause. "We've lost power but we're fine. Garnet says the power will be back on by mid-morning." She paused again. "Of, course! You know you're always welcome."

"Ask him to stop by the Pizza's and pick up a few for them to eat. They'll be free if Kofi doesn't see him."

Pearl nodded. "Garnet says there are free pizzas at Fish Stew Pizza. Avoid Kofi." She paused. "Drive safely. We'll see you when you get here." She pulled the phone away and tapped the screen. Then she looked up at Garnet. "Why are you still looking? You know where they are."

Garnet smiled at her. "You haven't finished your text that you don't want me to see."

Pearl blushed brightly again. "I hate it when you do that." She grumbled.

Garnet's grin got wider. "We don't know who it is to and we won't look. We promise." Her smile had faded to a serious expression.

Pearl blinked at her. "Thank you."

Jasper had been lost for most of their conversation, but she knew how Pearl felt. "Sapphire's." Jasper joked, affecting a shiver.

"Tell me about it." Pearl agreed with a small laugh. She blinked and her eyes went wide with surprise as she looked at the warrior gem.

Jasper grinned. "I like jokes." She told her.

Pearl said nothing, but her lips were curled in a small smile as she went back to her typing. They sat in silence for a little while, but it wasn't awkward. Jasper still felt the burning in her heart, the urge to know everything and find her purpose, but she was content at this moment. The house no longer felt suffocating. It felt... warm.

She glanced up at the picture of Rose Quartz, now almost hidden in shadow. She had never thought to think of her in any other way. She had never known that there was another side to the story. She had been selfish and angry and too caught up in her own head to ever consider anyone else. Somehow she felt that even if she didn't learn another thing, that one lesson would have been enough.

The gem door flared and Amethyst, Peridot, and the once again happily prancing Pumpkin came back into the main of the house. "Success!" Peridot yelled, holding up a few devices and what Jasper assumed were power cells for them.

Amethyst had a long, cylindrical device in her hand and she pointed it at Jasper and Pearl. "Check this out!" She clicked a button on it and Jasper was suddenly and painfully blinded.

Jasper turned her head, shielding her eyes. "Amethyst! Why would you do that?"

Amethyst was snickering as she turned off the light. "Why would I not? That was hilarious! This thing's got some _serious_ power!" She pointed it towards Steven's room and clicked it on again.

Steven was still on the phone and was lying on his side, turned away from the rest of the house, so the light was harmless to him. "Nice try, Amethyst!" He called.

She pouted and turned it back off. Jasper glared at her. "I don't think that was funny."

Amethyst flipped her hair. "Eh, don't be a stiff. That's what we have Pearl for." The pale gem sputtered. "Anyway." Amethyst continued. "I got us some lights. I don't know how much life the batteries have, but with these and the candles, we should be fine." She looked at Garnet.

"They'll last." The fusion agreed, holding up a few 'candles' Jasper assumed.

"Especially if we don't use them all at once. Two should suffice and one for the bathroom, as needed." Peridot said, putting a few batteries in one of the lights they had brought.

"That should be fine, yes." Pearl agreed. A knock sounded at the door. Jasper was immediately on her feet and facing it. "Wait, Jasper. That must be Greg."

"It is." Garnet spoke loudly.

"I'll answer it!" Amethyst shouted, running for the door. She swung it open to reveal a hooded figure carrying a few narrowly rectangular boxes. It was a human.

"Oh, thanks! The pizza is getting wet." A male voice said urgently, before the human rushed inside. His long coat dripped water everywhere.

"Dad!" Steven cheered, sitting up on his bed and turning around. "Let me call you back, Connie." He spoke into the phone. He tapped the screen and jumped from the bed.

"Heya, kiddo!" He smiled up at the happy boy as Steven rushed down to hug him. "Careful, you'll make me drop the pizza!"

"Yum! Pizza!" Amethyst said, letting drool flow from her mouth. She made to snatch them, but Garnet was suddenly there, taking them from Greg.

She held them up high. "These are for Greg and Steven."

"I'm hungry too!" She protested.

Garnet rose an eyebrow and stared at her for a moment. "It's okay, Garnet. I got one for her too." Greg suddenly spoke.

He had taken off his dripping coat and was holding it awkwardly as it dripped. He was slightly overweight and balding and Jasper relaxed fully as she watched him futilely try to stop the water from hitting the floor with his hand. He obviously meant no threat and was important to the others. Pearl stood and came to take the coat from him with a grimace. She hung it on a hook by the door as Greg took the boxes back from Garnet. He pulled the bottom one free and handed it to the eager, purple quartz.

"You da man, Greg!" She cheered.

He grinned and Jasper blinked as she recognized the smile as Steven's. "I aim to please." He finally noticed Jasper and his eyes went wide. "Wow, you're tall!" He exclaimed.

Steven smacked his forehead. "Oh, right! You guys have never met. Dad, this is Jasper. Jasper this is-"

Greg stepped towards her and held out his hand. "Greg." He finished for Steven. "Greg Universe. Nice to meet you, Jasper."

She stared at his hand for a moment, before reaching out with her own. He grasped it and shook it firmly. She blinked at him. What had that been about? Steven suddenly laughed. "It's a handshake. It's kind've a greeting ritual." He explained.

"Oh." She shook Greg's hand more firmly. "Nice to meet you too, Greg."

Greg smiled up at her and she again saw the resemblance to Steven. Greg was Steven's dad and Rose was Steven's mom. She wasn't sure exactly what the terms meant, but she knew enough to know that this was the human that Rose Quartz had come together with to make Steven. Her brow furrowed. There must be more to this man that his appearance implied. She would wait and see.

He turned back to Steven. "Well, kiddo. You hungry?"

Steven grinned. "You bet I am!"

Greg laughed. "Then lets eat!"

He carried the boxes to the couch and sat. Steven joined him with a bounce and they both pulled out slices of what she knew must be pizza and began to chew on them. Amethyst flopped on the couch next to them and began taking chunks of pizza out of her own box. So _that_ was eating. Lion and the air weaver had been eating too. She remembered her first moments of being reformed; Steven had eaten then too.

As she watched them chew and swallow noisily, she was a little disgusted. Amethyst was eating hers even more noisily and messily than the human and hybrid. She swallowed hard against a sudden sense of nausea and looked away.

"It's disgusting, right?" Peridot said quietly at her side.

Jasper nodded. "Very."

Pearl was shuddering. "I hate it when they eat like this. At _least_ you could show proper manners!"

"Sorry, Pearl." Greg called around a mouthful of pizza.

"Me too." Steven followed.

"I'm not!" Amethyst crowed. "Manners are for losers!" She took a much larger bite and began smacking loudly as she chewed.

Pearl gagged and turned away. "Oh, I can't take this."

"Amethyst, stop!" Garnet scolded.

The purple quartz closed her mouth and pouted. "You guys are no fun."

"Oh!" Steven swallowed his mouthful. "I forgot something. Hey, Peridot?"

"Yes?"

"I told Connie about Jasper and she mentioned that maybe you could do for Jasper like you did for Lapis and Eyeball."

Peridot gasped. "That's an _amazing_ idea!"

Jasper was suddenly apprehensive as the small gem looked up at her, eyes shining. "What exactly are we doing?" She asked hesitantly.

"We are going to teach you about Earth!"

Jasper's felt her eyes shoot wide with surprised pleasure. "Really?" She couldn't keep the eagerness out of her voice. Peridot was an intelligent gem. She must know almost everything about Earth by now.

Peridot smirked. "Yep! Ready to get started?"

Jasper couldn't fight her responding smile. "I am."

"Then let's get to it!" Peridot cheered. "First. Let's talk about the atmosphere and how it affects Earth's many vast ecosystems and weather patterns." She sat and pointed at the floor in front of her.

Jasper immediately sat and got comfortable as Peridot began speaking. She was actually going to learn more than just the tidbits from Lapis' memories and her own experiences. This was going to be fun!

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 **Time for Jasper to get her nerd on! First, I want to thank you for your reviews, messages and views. It means a lot to me. I know I say it every chapter, But it's because I mean it. I like speaking with you and hearing from you and writing this story for all of us to enjoy. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I appreciate those of you that do like it.**

 **I have some bad news though. I am taking a longer break between chapters before posting, because with everything that is going on with work, family and home life, I can't keep up 10+ pages a week. I could shorten the chapters, but I'm afraid that would be even more annoying than a longer wait for the next few chapters. If you want the shorter chapters instead of the break though, let me know and I'll do it that way instead. I just really need to write ahead a bit to make it easier on myself. I hope you understand the amount of regret I feel having to say it.**

 **Please don't think I'm going to abandon this story, though. It means FAR too much to me to never be finished and I have too many future scenes already written to not go on. It's just getting from this point to the finished scenes that is taking so long.**

 **Anyway. Feel free to message me, and please stay safe and read on. Until next time, loves! Laters!**


	10. Chapter 10

Pieces

Chapter 10

Kitatanya

A/N: (Reapeated at the End so you can skip for now if you'd like)

SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! Omg, loves, you have no idea the chaos that the holidays brought into my life. Between work, moving, a tiny vacation from rational thought and a relationship going down the drain, I have had one HECK of a ride this past little bit. I never once forgot our journey though, loves and always intended on getting at least one more chapter up and posted before this year was out. Hopefully, we will have no more delays.

A/N(2): I realized after I posted that somehow the firts paragraph got lost in the posting, so updated to include that tiny chapter. It literally adds nothing, it just bugs me. Yay, OCD...

Anyways, enough of all that. READ ON, LOVES!

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Jasper stood on the roof of Steven's home and breathed in the fresh air with relish. It had rained intermittently over the last several days and to see the skies as clear as they were was a treat in comparison. She did mind the rain in itself, but being perpetually damp got old, fast.

One week had gone by since the storm. Peridot had taught her much about Earth and the things that lived here, even showing her pictures of things she hadn't yet seen on the 'tablet' as it was called. Pearl had even joined in on a few of their lessons and Steven would often listen in. Amethyst had had a lot of fun shape-shifting into many of the various creatures Peridot had described. She had never seen a gem so fluid in her forms. It had definitely been an experience.

But now, even though she knew they would continue to teach her, Jasper felt that there was something more she should be doing. She was happy to be learning and happy to be getting more and more comfortable here, but... there was something wrong inside of her; something that wouldn't just let her be content.

In the quiet, peaceful moments, her thoughts roared inside her. Her guilt and her anger warred constantly. Did she even _deserve_ this second chance? Did she deserve to go on and be a semblance of happy after all that she had done?

She still caught the others looking at her strangely when she did something funny or joked with Steven. She felt like they were all waiting for a figurative bomb to drop and for her to revert back to her old ways. Each time they used the warp to go check on some site or another, she saw Pearl, Amethyst and Peridot still give her those suspicious looks, as if she would suddenly jump into warp space and begin wreaking havoc. She had taken to avoiding the inside of the house again when the weather allowed it or when they were all sleeping, because the time alone was all that kept her from snapping at them. They didn't deserve her irritation; but did she deserve their suspicion?

She was afraid to stand still when her thoughts were screaming like this, so she was pacing in circles on the roof, still able to see almost any angle that something could try to attack from. She understood the others' reasons for being so relaxed, but she couldn't find it in herself to do the same. She was getting better at trying to relax, but the fear of her own thoughts made it difficult. She would be fine one moment, thinking about some cloud pattern or habitat or creature that Peridot had taught her about and the next she would be remembering Lapis or a chaotic battlefield and her mind would begin to whirl with bad thoughts.

There _had_ to be some way to stop this. There had to be a way for her to be secure in her own head. She was afraid to ask, however, because that would be confirming their suspicion that there was still bad inside her. How could she stop the badness from stealing her heart again if she couldn't find a way to defeat it?

"Whatcha doing?" A voice from behind her made her start slightly and she whipped around to see Steven hoisting himself the rest of the way onto the roof.

She groaned. She didn't want to have another talk about her emotions just now. She was afraid she'd say something she didn't mean out of irritation. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you're kind've stomping and it's making a lot of noise and I can't really hear the TV so I thought I'd come see what was wrong." He sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

She blushed slightly. She couldn't even brood without causing trouble here. "I didn't realize I was being loud. I'll go somewhere else." She turned and poised to leap from the roof.

"No! No! Wait!" Steven protested loudly.

Jasper looked around at him again, confused. "What?"

"I didn't mean you had to leave!"

"But you said-"

"It came out wrong!" He cut her off. "And besides, it was a rerun anyway. It means it an old episode that I've seen before." He explained at her confused look.

"Oh." She said quietly.

They stood in silence for a moment. "So what's on your mind, Jasper?" He asked softly.

She sighed. "If you're trying to make me expose myself again, it won't work. I'm wise to your tricks now, little Rose." She sent him a mock glare. She had taken to calling him that when he did something irritating. It seemed to amuse him.

He chuckled. "Fair enough." He walked forward and sat on the edge of the roof near her, sitting down and letting his legs dangle over. He patted the roof next to him.

Jasper let out a heavy sigh and sat next to him. They sat together and looked out over the sea. A few seagulls called, adding their notes to the song of the waves lapping at the sand and the wind blowing through the dunes. Life was never truly still here. Everything moved. And yet, the gentle motion soothed her. She felt her restlessness grow quiet again and a sense of peace washed over her in its place. She sighed again, but this one was content.

"Feel better?" Steven asked softly, grinning up at her.

She mock glared at him again, unable to be truly angry with the boy. "Fine. You win. I feel better."

"Good. I'm glad."

"Why?" It still confused her that he tried to be so involved with her. "Why do you care if I'm upset or not?"

"Well, we're friends aren't we? And friends care about each other."

"Friends, huh?" She looked back out over the ocean. "What kind of silly Earth tradition will you come up with next?"

Steven sighed. "It's not silly, Jasper. Friends... friends make you feel better. And you make them feel better. And, I mean, yeah, sometimes you have to work at it, and sometimes you might accidentally hurt each other, but having friends is worth the effort. It just... friendship just makes life better. To have people you care about and who care about you. Doing things together, like now. We're sitting on my roof, watching the waves and talking, sharing and getting to know each other."

She blinked as understanding began to seep into her. "So... this is... being friends? I just... tell you my problems and you give me advice?"

Steven nodded eagerly. "Or I tell you my problems and you give me advice. Or we could just talk about nothing important at all. Like..." He drew the word out obviously looking for something. "Ha! Like that cloud!" He laughed.

Jasper looked out at it. "What about it?" She asked, confused again.

"Doesn't it look funny? It's like a cat wearing a tie!" He laughed again.

Jasper titled her head. "But it's not a cat, it's a cloud."

Steven wiped a tear from his eye. "That's what's funny about it. It looks like something it's not and it's silly. Finding shapes in things that make them look like other things is called imagination. You look at something like the clouds or water, even sand and you see a shape there that maybe only you can see. Look with your mind and not your eyes."

Jasper was utterly confused but tried to do as Steven had said. Something in her was telling her that it was important that she learn what he was trying to teach; his lessons were different from the ones Peridot had to teach, but it was his words that had given her the means to have the chance. Much like with Rose Quartz, he was the key to a new way of thinking.

She tried not to see the cloud itself, but the cat that Steven claimed to see. She titled her head further, staring intently. She supposed that long bit of fluff coming out could be the tail. And then there were two lopsided triangular shapes at the other end that could be ears and the lump of the head and suddenly she could see it. It really did look like a cat with a tiny bow tie on its neck.

She laughed aloud in delight. "I see it!" She cried happily.

Steven cheered. "See? Try another one." He encouraged eagerly.

She looked around for another. It took a few moments but she finally found one that looked like a bird of prey, a hawk, pointed and fierce, but also free. "There." She pointed. "A hawk on the hunt."

Steven grinned hugely. "Aw, that one looks cooler than mine!" He whined playfully. "Gotta find another to top it."

Jasper grinned over at the eager boy. She knew he was trying to draw her in, but she went along, surprised to find herself having fun as they took turns trying to top the others' cloud. Both were laughing as they lay back on the roof. She pillowed her head on her hands and drew one knee up, leaving the other leg dangling. She sighed comfortably as their laughter quieted and they just watched the clouds drift on in silence. She could now see so many patterns and shapes in their fluffy forms; it was like seeing them through a different lens. She was glad that she had taken the chance to learn from this strange hybrid.

Every time they spoke like this, he opened her eyes again. It was baffling how this boy, who had lived a minuscule fraction of the years she had, knew so much about his world and these abstract concepts that she never would have guessed at.

After a long while, they heard a voice calling Steven's name. They sat up and peeked over the edge of the roof as Pearl stepped outside. "Steven! You've been quiet for ages! Everything alright?"

"Up here, Pearl!" He called down.

She looked up and started to see them sitting on the edge of the roof. "What on Earth are you doing up there?" She asked, trying and failing to keep her worried voice normal.

"Watching the clouds." He answered happily. "Don't worry. Jasper won't let me fall." He reassured her.

"Of course not." She agreed. "I'd push you instead." She joked with a smirk.

Steven and Pearl both laughed, though Pearl's was a bit forced. "So, what's up?" Steven asked.

"Isn't it time for your lunch now?"

"Oh yeah!" He cried. He looked over at Jasper. "I'm gonna go make some macaroni and cheese! Want some? They're delicious noodles with cheese sauce mixed in them and are the perfect harmony of pasta and cheese."

The bi-colored gem chuckled at his enthusiastic description. "I'll pass. I still don't really get the whole 'eating' thing." In fact, it still grossed her out, but she didn't need to say that. She was learning there were all kinds of layers to being honest and being nice.

Steven nodded in understanding. "Okay. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me!" He suddenly jumped off the roof and both Jasper and Pearl gasped. Jasper managed to catch him by the scruff of his shirt and lowered him down to the frantic Pearl. Steven called a thanks as jumped from her arms and ran into the house. Both gems sighed and shared a look.

Jasper felt her lips curl into a tiny smile and Pearl smiled back, before following Steven into the house. As Jasper flopped back onto the roof, her heart felt a whole planet lighter. It wasn't until sometime later that she remembered that Steven could float. He'd deliberately jumped in such a way that had made her react by catching him. He had done it to show Pearl that she would. Her heart swelled in her chest.

Steven was a manipulative little thing, but he always used it in the best way. She knew all about manipulation and the negative ways it could be used, but Steven took a usually negative trait and put goodness in it. He did that with a lot of things. She didn't think there was one iota of badness within him; she had more than enough for the two of them.

She was lost in thought, enjoying the new way the clouds looked, when something batted at her shoulder. She tensed and almost rolled away, before recognizing a tuft of pink mane as Lion leaned over her. "And what do you want?" She asked him with a smile.

Lion surprised her by fairly collapsing with his large head across her chest. The unexpected weight of the large beast pushed all the air from her lungs with an 'oof'. She lay still and tried to learn to breath with him on her chest.

"What was that for?" She asked him indignantly. He batted his eyes at her and moved to nuzzle under her chin like he wanted attention. "Oh. That's what." She laughed. She reached up to run her fingers through his fur and smiled wider as his deep purring began to fill the air.

The sudden, clamoring call of a flock of seagulls filled the air and Lion's head snapped up. She sat up and looked with him to see them diving in the shallow waters of the beach. She looked closer and thought she saw fish, many fish, in the lapping waves. The seagulls were feasting on the fish and coming to rest on the sand with full beaks. Lion suddenly growled and stood.

She had no idea what was suddenly wrong with him, but his sudden tenseness made her heart beat faster and she tensed too, looking for the danger. "What is it?" She asked him in a whisper.

He huffed and looked at her, tail lashing, before leaping from the roof and running towards the beach. As soon as his paws touched the sand, he looked back at her and blinked. She took it that he meant for her to follow and she did so, joining him on the sand with one big leap. He started running towards the sea and she followed, heart in her throat. For a moment, she thought about calling the others, but she dismissed the idea; whatever it was, she would face it head on.

She steeled herself and started after him, letting her mind slip into the emotional numbness of a coming battle; A blind charge towards danger to face an unknown enemy. She almost felt like her old self again. She had forgotten how it felt to feel nothing at all.

Ahead of her, Lion stopped just short of a small grouping of seagulls. He looked at them, fur ruffed and then pounced, scattering the birds. They flew away to join a few more of their fellows with angry cries. The large pink beast snorted, tail lashing, and charged at them again. He scattered the small flock with a few flailing blows of his paws, even going so far as to leap into the air after one. The gulls he had harassed began circling and calling, but all over the beach, more were still feasting in groups. Lion roared and started to run, leaping from group to group to scatter the birds.

She was still standing where he'd stopped, still waiting for the danger to show itself, when it clicked in her mind that he simply didn't want the gulls on their beach. She had learned that lions in the wild were territorial and Lion was, well, a _lion_ and this was his territory. He was defending it from the noisy birds and was very open with his displeasure about their invasion.

She felt like a fool. She'd been so ready to follow him into battle that she hadn't even looked back. She had forgotten that Lion was a beast and had simply followed him because he was going towards danger. She was shaking and sweating as her pent up adrenaline still surged through her veins. There was a bitter taste of resentment inside her; she had been ready for a battle and she had been denied. She felt like she'd been cheated.

She shook her head at the negative spark of thinking. What was wrong with her? Steven had said she was stronger than her nature to fight, but was she really? The only time she was absolutely sure of herself, was when she was in the middle of a fight. Could she really make a life outside of that?

Lion's sudden roar pulled her from her thoughts. He blasted a large group of gulls with the pulse of sound and they scattered, feathers flying in all directions. The rest ignored him, still feasting on fish and cawing loudly as they mingled. The great pink beast was beside himself with fury. He was actually fighting the gulls as if they were a real enemy.

She supposed to him, they were. They were invading his home and he didn't want them there and was trying to drive them out. Jasper was still feeling pumped, heart still racing and she had learned that staying in action was the best way not to be lost in her head. She would help him chase the birds away. It was his beach, his home, and she had taken a personal vow to protect it; and protect it she would.

She ran at the nearest group with a roar and the birds scattered before her. Seeing them flee before her was gratifying, even if it made her feel a bit silly. She looked over at Lion and he blinked at her again, before continuing the battle against the birds. She smiled fiercely and did the same.

She was startled to find she was enjoying the activity. Even Lion had ceased being angry and was now playfully swatting at the annoying birds. The seagulls cawed abuse at them, but lingered in ever smaller groups and began moving further down the shoreline. They were winning and she was laughing more than yelling at the scattering seagulls.

As the last group finally gave up and followed their fellows, Jasper couldn't help but cheer. Lion roared triumphantly and ran to her. He headbutted her roughly and she stumbled, still laughing. She clapped a hand down on his head and ruffled his mane with a big smile. He pushed into her, purring loudly and she laughed again.

"Ok. That was weird and cool at the same time." A voice spoke from the side.

Jasper looked over to see Amethyst smirking at her. She felt a sudden surge of embarrassment that she'd been sen acting so silly. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." She smirked wider.

Jasper felt herself blush and looked away. "Lion didn't want them on the beach. I helped scare them away. They were a distraction. Now I can-"

Amethyst held up her hands in a placating gesture, cutting her off. "It's cool, dude. You don't have to explain it. I've done it before too. It's fun." She shrugged.

Jasper grinned in embarrassment. "It was."

They stood in silence for a moment. Amethyst kicked the sand at her feet. "So what were your plans after chasing birds?"

"Plans?"

"Yeah. What are you about to do, now that they're gone?"

Jasper looked back to the roof. "I'm going to continue keeping watch. Like always."

Amethyst tsked. "Sounds boring. You should lighten up, dude."

Jasper frowned. "Why?"

Amethyst sighed. "I don't know. Didn't they say some stuff about 'experiencing life' and 'chilling is winning'?"

Jasper was confused for a moment before she realized what Amethyst was trying to say. "They said to relax more and worry less."

"Yeah, that. You aren't doing it. And, I mean, I'm all for 'rules drool', but, sometimes, it's better to listen to people smarter than you."

"Like Pearl?" Jasper asked.

"Or Garnet and Peri. Or Steven."

"What about you?"

Amethyst flipped her hair. "I don't do 'thinking'. It upsets my flow." Then she shrugged. "Besides. I wasn't really made to think, ya know?"

Jasper huffed a laugh. "I know the feeling."

"But you're smart."

Jasper shook her head, dismissing the compliment. "No. Maybe on the battlefield. I can map terrain with a glance and anticipate my enemy based on experience and instinct, but that's a lot different from everything here." Her voice was slightly bitter and she was afraid of what it implied so she rushed to add her next thought. "It's good, just... different."

"Exactly." Amethyst said smugly. "It's different, but good. Like you now."

Jasper looked away. "Do you really think I'm good now?" She asked quietly. She thought back to that mindless warrior mindset that she'd so easily slipped back into. How good the lack of emotion felt. That wasn't something that anyone _good_ would do, was it?

"Do you want me to think that? Is that what you want to be?"

Jasper sighed. "Yes." She hesitated a moment and decided to be open with Amethyst. She had begun talking a bit more freely with all of them, but Steven was still the only one that she had regularly opened up to. Maybe Amethyst would understand what she was feeling. They were very similar after all, in a way.

Both of them ashamed of the place they were made in and why. Both were rash and prone to taking out their feelings on others. They both would rather fight than have to deal with emotional compromise. They were warriors. And now they had another thing in common; they both wanted to protect the world they were made in and the ones they knew.

"Can I tell you a secret?" She asked earnestly.

Amethyst blinked in surprise. "Sure."

"I do want to be good, but... there's still bad inside me."

"What do you mean?"

Jasper ran her fingers through her hair. "The only time I feel normal is when I'm fighting."

"What do you mean?" Amethyst asked quietly.

Jasper shook her head and turned away to look out over the sea. "Fighting is all I've even known. It's the only constant thing I've ever had. Not fighting is..." She trailed off and tried to find the right words. "Learning everything I have has been nice, but I still only really know battle. And that's not good. Is it?" She dug her fingers into her arms and squeezed herself against a sudden pain in her chest as she waited for Amethyst's reply.

After a moment, the purple quartz snorted. Jasper looked over her shoulder in surprise to see her smiling. "Dude. There's nothing wrong with liking a good fight."

Jasper turned to fully face her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean _,_ I like to fight too! All of us do! Even Pearl! We're _warriors_! The Crystal Gems! We defend Earth and Steven. And we have fun and look fantastic doing it." She flipped her hair and cupped her face, batting her eyes up at the tall warrior. "Not to brag or anything." Jasper looked down, absorbing this new train of thought and Amethyst continued. "It's not the fighting itself that makes you you. It's what you fight _for_."

Jasper couldn't help a small smile up at her. "That sounds like something Steven would say."

Amethyst blushed. "Well, when you put up with him as long as I have, you can't help but to absorb some of it." They laughed together. "Speaking of fighting, that's kinda the reason I came to look for you."

Jasper blinked over at her. "What?"

"You said I could be better at fighting."

Jasper nodded. "There is always room to improve."

"So," She drew the word out. "Think you could show me?"

Jasper smiled. She had often been called upon to train lesser gems. It had always annoyed her to try and improve the technique of the incompetent, but the rare few that excelled always gave her the feeling that kept her going; the thrill of a challenge was her lifeblood. Amethyst was more than competent. The thought of fighting her at her best made the tall warrior gem's heart pound. She felt her smile take on a feral edge. "In my sleep." She got low. "Attack me."

Amethyst hesitated. "Weapons?"

"No. You already excel at long distance. Hand to hand is where you are lacking."

Amethyst nodded and closed her eyes. Jasper was pleased to realize she was centering herself; the purple quartz was getting serious. She looked up and Jasper braced herself as she saw the glint in her eyes. Amethyst shifted her weight and launched a punch. Jasper blocked it and felt her arm go uncomfortably numb from the force.

Amethyst went flat footed. "How did you block it?"

Jasper stood slightly upright. "You told me. You shifted your weight to one side. That kind of tell is like sending a flag to an enemy announcing your next strike." She crouched again and began shifting her feet. "Watch my feet." She feinted a punch. "See? If you stay in motion, you don't betray your intentions as freely. Staying in motion is they key to victory."

Amethyst began shifting, copying her movements. "Like this?"

"Yes. Now attack me again." She tensed and swung a punch at Jasper's face. Jasper rolled her head sideways, avoiding the attack. "Don't tense up. You're giving yourself away still. Just attack, don't think about it."

Amethyst grinned. "I never think." With no warning, she swung again and Jasper felt the impact land solidly on her cheek. Her head snapped sideways. She grinned back at her. "Much better." She began shifting faster. "Let's take it up a notch."

The sun was setting as Amethyst stopped, mid fight and flopped back onto the sand. "No more." She whined.

Jasper was breathing heavily, muscles trembling from their training session. Amethyst was a _very_ fast learner when she put her mind to something. Thinking about how much she had underestimated her potential when they'd first met was almost painful. She had almost shattered her once. In her mind then, it was the proper thing to do; destroy the lesser so that the mighty could reign. Amethyst had reminded her of her origins and the circumstances in which she was made. She had had the better Kindergarten and yet she had been so much less than she herself. If Amethyst and her ilk had been better warriors, would she have even been made?

Of course, Amethyst herself had emerged long after her squadron had left the Kindergarten and the first war on Earth had begun to wind down to its sickening conclusion. From the circumstances under which she and Peridot had been deployed, she knew that another war was on its way. She had no doubt about that. Amethyst was a force to be reckoned with and Earth needed all of it's warriors. Homeworld would not be forgetting Earth again anytime soon.

And Amethyst was a genuinely good gem. She was rash and insensitive at times, but she was a true friend to Steven and the others. They would have mourned her as much as they mourned Rose Quartz and the other gems that had fallen in the battle for earth. She was glad that Steven and the human girl had fused to stop her from making a monumental mistake.

She relaxed and pulled her mind back to the present. "Yeah, that's enough for today."

Amethyst lifted her head. "So how'd I do?"

Jasper grinned down at her. "Very well. You'll be able to beat anything soon."

"Including you?" Amethyst asked, waggling her eyebrows.

Jasper laughed. "Including me."

Amethyst threw her hands up in the air with a cheer and flopped back onto the sand. After a moment she looked over at Jasper. "Don't just stand there. It's creepy." She grinned.

Jasper laughed again and sat down where she stood. "You really did do well. I've never seen a gem pick it up as fast as you did. And you didn't even have an Overgem to supervise and push the both of us."

"Overgem?"

Jasper blinked over at her, confused by her confusion, before remembering that Amethyst had actually never lived under the rule of the Diamonds. "Yes. Any time I was called on to improve the technique of another warrior gem, there was always someone of a higher rank to supervise and assure that both of us were giving it our all. Some were impartial and some were cruel. There were a number of different superior gems who were ordered to do so, so the lessers called them Overgems by default." She shrugged. "I usually only worked with Yellow Diamond's gems, but Blue Diamonds gems used it too."

Amethyst made a noncommittal sound. "Sounds like living under the Diamonds was a drag."

Jasper looked away, torn by the statement even as she acknowledged its truth. "Yeah."

"I just don't understand why anyone would want to live like that. Why didn't more gems fight back?"

Jasper shook her head. "It isn't that simple."

"It kinda is, though." She heard movement and looked over to see Amethyst sitting up. "If you don't like something why fight for it?"

Jasper sighed. "It was all we knew. We were told that the rebellion was wrong, that Rose Quartz and her ilk were evil. Anything that stood against the 'natural' order of things was wrong. The Diamonds were our superiors, our makers. Their word was law. Any gem found not following their law was lucky to avoid being shattered. We didn't know there could be another way. For the longest, we all were told that Earth simply turned out to be unsuitable for a colony and that it was a waste to use more resources to farm a worthless planet. I thought Rose Quartz and all of you along with her, had been defeated by the Diamonds. None of us were allowed to witness the final strike, so we had no choice but to assume it was true. In the face of that, how could we do anything _but_ serve?"

Amethyst looked away. "Yeah, I can kind've see it now." They were silent for a moment. "And how do you feel now?"

Jasper sighed. "I'm glad that Earth wasn't made into another colony." She shrugged. "I'm a traitor now."

"That's another thing we've been talking about."

Jasper was confused. "What?"

Amethyst blushed. "Well..." She trailed off, scratching the back of her head. "It was hard to believe you just changed so quickly at first." She said quietly. "I mean, it took Peridot _weeks_ to accept Earth and turn against Yellow. She even lied to us and tried to betray us. But you just... _poof_ and now you're on our side? It was kinda hard to believe. No offense." She rushed to add.

Jasper shook her head. "It was hard for me to believe at first too. But there's something you have to understand." She looked Amethyst right in the eye. "I've been fighting this change since Lapis. Seeing things through her eyes, changed things. And Lapis wasn't all about Earth either, I'm not saying that. There was a lot about Earth that she hated. It was a prison for her as much as it was for me. She hated all of you as much as I did. Steven was the only one of you that she cared for. But she cared for him so much, she was willing to fight me with everything she had to protect him. She didn't care about anything else. But that one feeling was so strong, it even overpowered her hate and her fear of death. It overpowered everything. Even me. And even after we were separated, that feeling and the power of it stayed with me."

She shook her head, looking away. "I still don't get it, but I don't have to. It made me question everything. I was so sure about myself before. But the entire time during and after our fusion, I suddenly wasn't anymore. And at every turn, you all fought me. I hated all of you, but even if I could defeat one of you, I could never defeat all of you and I didn't understand it. I still don't. I thought Lapis was the key to understanding everything, but she's not. It's Steven. It's always been Steven. And Rose Quartz." She looked up at the stars. "There's a lot that I don't know, but I want to try. I want to learn." She looked back at Amethyst to see her surprised expression. "I already swore my allegiance to Steven and I'll stand by that no matter what. I don't understand everything, but there is the one thing I'm sure of now. This?" She spread her hands to gesture at everything. "Earth? This is what is right. And I will fight to defend it."

Amethyst's shocked expression slowly changed into a brilliant smile and her eyes danced in the fading light. "You really are a Crystal Gem now."

Jasper felt her heart swell at the compliment, but the suddenness of it brought a blush to her cheeks that she scoffed to try and hide. "Call me that again and I might just have to rebel to save face."

Amethyst laughed. "If that was all it took to save face, I'd have the most stellar reputation of all of us."

"Isn't that the truth." An amused voice from behind them asked.

They turned to see Garnet standing a little ways away. "What's up, Garnet?" Amethyst asked lightly.

"I've gotten word of a few disturbances near the polar warp. Thought you two might like some action." She clasped her hands, palm over fist. "Should be short, sweet and to the point." Her full lips pursed in a grin.

Jasper felt her own lips curl in response and glanced over to see Amethyst smirking too. "Just they way I like it." The tall warrior spoke, rising in one fluid motion.

"Let's kick some butt!" Amethyst cheered, jumping to her feet.

"Let's" Garnet agreed, turning to walk away. Jasper eagerly followed. Life certainly never was boring with these gems for long.

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SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! Omg, loves, you have no idea the chaos that the holidays brought into my life. Between work, moving, a tiny vacation from rational thought and a relationship going down the drain, I have had one HECK of a ride this past little bit. I never once forgot our journey though, loves and always intended on getting at least one more chapter up and posted before this year was out. Hopefully, we will have no more delays.

Hope that you enjoyed the next step on our journey and will continue as we move on in the weeks to come. Stay safe and read on! Until next time, loves! Laters!


	11. Chapter 11

Pieces

Chapter 11

Kitatanya

A/N: SO, I know this chapter is short, but the reason will become clear soon enough. I won't say more here, so READ ON, LOVES!

Shout outs at the end of the chap!

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Jasper was sitting on the sandy dunes of Steven's stretch of beach, just far enough back to be free of the water. She sighed happily as she breathed in the sea air. The sand was baking in the mid afternoon sun, but the briny breeze kept her cool and comfortable. The clouds were sparse but fluffy. It was a perfect day. There were a lot of those now.

Weeks of being reformed and living with Steven and the Crystal Gems had given her more than a millennia under the diamonds. She was finally learning to truly relax. Her mind was still a whirlpool of chaotic thought, but she found that the present was now strong enough to overpower it's pull. She cold think more clearly and could keep her head above the turbulent waters inside. And, when she did chose to dip below the surface, she found it easier and easier to pull herself free.

The restlessness that had burned inside her was distant now. Rather than the constant pull to find her purpose that she'd had to fight away before, it was a dull echo that let her be content to wait until her purpose showed itself. She still kept watch and still trained regularly, but she had also come to cherish these moments of peace just as much.

"Jasper!" A familiar voice called from behind her. She looked back to see Steven running over the sand towards her. Behind him was a human girl. He was carrying a black and white ball and she a sword on her back. Jasper stood to greet them. "Connie's back from vacation! She came to visit!" He cried happily as they got close.

Jasper's eyes widened. This was the Connie he spoke of so frequently and fondly. Then she recognized her as the human he had fused with on this very beach. Her hair was shorter now, but the way she held herself was very familiar. She looked down at her, appraising her truly for the first time. Connie straightened her spine and glared defiantly back, fingers twitching as if to reach for the sword. Jasper smirked in approval; she was definitely a fighter. There was absolutely no fear in the little scrap of a human. Steven obviously held her in high regard, so Jasper decided to respond accordingly.

"It's nice to officially meet the only human who ever kicked my butt."

Connie's jaw dropped and Steven laughed. "Never thought of it that way before. Go you, Connie!" Steven cheered.

Connie smiled quickly at him and looked up at her uncertainly. "You're not... mad?" She asked tentatively.

Jasper laughed. "If there's one thing we jaspers love, it's a good fight. Your prowess with a sword was impressive." She praised, extending her hand.

Connie blinked in surprise, before responding with a huge smile. She reached out her hand as well and Jasper firmly shook it, despite the large difference in size. "Thanks." Connie said brightly.

"Now who's ready for Steven ball?" Steven asked loudly, clasping his hand over theirs.

Jasper grinned and glanced at Connie, who was grinning too. They shared a look and Connie put her hand on top of Steven's. Jasper followed suit with her own and Steven topped of the hand-stack with his.

"Steven ball!" They cheered together, throwing their hands in the air.

Connie carefully removed the sword and ran to lean it against one of the tall rocks nearby. When she returned, Steven picked up the ball he'd dropped at his feet and ran back a few steps. Jasper and Connie crouched, waiting for him to put the ball into play. His games were frequent, but differed greatly. She never knew what each one would bring, but the tall warrior had grown fond of playing along.

He started bouncing it up off of one knee, before switching to the other with the ball never touching the ground. He swapped back and forth a few times easily, waggling his eyebrows. Jasper snorted and Connie giggled. Steven grinned hugely and started to move, kicking the ball to Connie. The athletic girl caught it easily, using her shin as a stop and hooking it back into the air with a swift kick before it hit the sand.

Steven awed at her. "Ten points to Connie for style!"

She blushed brightly, almost missing her next kick. "Steven!" She whined playfully.

He laughed and Jasper joined him. Connie kicked the ball high in the air and then jumped up after it. She placed one foot on the opposite knee and pressed her palms together as she soared as high as she could. When she and the ball were at the appropriate spot, she karate kicked sideways and sent the ball flying right for Jasper. The warrior gem smiled in challenge and caught the ball with her shin as well. She let it rest on the top of her foot and went through a series of fighting forms without letting it leave her feet. She swelled at their admiring looks and got a bit flashier. Finally, she straightened and lightly kicked the ball to Steven. The half gem almost let it fall, but recovered it in time with his tiptoe.

He grinned over at the tall gem. "Fifty points to Jasper for awesome!" The warrior gem gave them an exaggerated bow.

They both laughed. "You ladies are gonna kick my butt!" Steven said smoothly. "I gotta step up my game. " He hummed and scratched his chin, still balancing the ball on his toes. He snapped his fingers. "I know! He kicked the ball into the air. He jumped up after it and let out what she assumed was meant to be a fierce battle cry, before head-butting it. It soared down towards Connie, who side kicked it to Jasper. Jasper spun and kicked the ball towards Steven, who had landed a few feet from where he'd stood before. He kicked it to Connie, who passed it back to Jasper. They continued kicking it in circles, waiting to see who would let it fall.

Steven eventually called a stop by catching it in his hands. "That was awesome!" He cried breathlessly, letting it fall to the ground. He wiped sweat from his forehead and braced himself on his knees, breathing heavily.

Connie wiped the sweat from her brow too, smiling happily. "You said it."

A loud voice cut through the air. "Yo, Steven!" They looked over to see Amethyst in the form of a large loudspeaker on the porch. "You're gonna want to see this!" She popped back into her natural form and waved them toward her, before turning and going back inside the house.

"Race you home!" Steven yelled, taking off towards the steps as Connie went for her sword.

"Hey, no fair!" Connie whined with a laugh as she started after him, slinging the large weapon over her shoulder.

Jasper shook her head in amusement as Steven winked back at the indignant girl. Their dynamic was fun to watch. Jasper gave the children a good head start, before running after them. She easily gained on the pair, who were running at almost the same pace, Steven not even hinting at limiting himself to Connie's speed.. She locked her pace just a bit behind theirs and grinned as they strained to go just a little faster. Just as they reached the top of the steps she scooped both of them up, laughing at their delighted cries of surprise. They both laughed as she perched them on her shoulders and stooped, still laughing, to enter the door.

She stood back up and what she saw froze her dead in her tracks. Every hair on her body stood on end and her breath caught in her throat. Ice shot straight to her heart as she looked right into wide dark eyes of Lapis Lazuli.

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And we have finally reached the major story arc! This mars the turning point in our story as Jasper gets her first true test in her new life. Will Lapis come to terms with our warrior gem's new status as a Crystal gem? Will she rebel against them all in a revenge fueled fury of hatred? Will Jasper turn her back on her new allies and fall back into her old ways? Who knows? Read on to find out!

At this time, with the last breath of the new year, I'd like to give my thanks to a few special readers.

DarackPhantomhive: You were the very first reviewer on this story, so thank you very much for being the first voice there.

Master of the Boot: You kind've gave me a big head and terrified me at the same time, by mentioning similarities to someone writing about Tolkien. I can't reveal all now, but your foreshadowing review made me question if I was going the right direction with this story. I've stuck to my guns, but I thank you for making me think.

Dragonsrule88: You have been the most vocal and the most frequent of reviewers and I cannot thank you enough! Thank you for your consistency and your overwhelming support

I wish I had more time to thank you all, but I've got some preparations to see to to send this crazy year off with a bang. There will be more shout outs in the future so stay tuned for that as well. I can't wait!

A new year and a new journey for us all. A time to reflect and look forward a the same time. Please stay safe on this holiday night and read on, Loves! Until next time! Laters!


	12. Chapter 12

Pieces

Chapter 12

Kitatanya

A/N: Thank you so much for you continued reviews and support! So. Sorry that it's another shorty, but I've been down and out for a week cause when life hits, it hits like a freight train, but I just couldn't wait to post more. Enough for now though.

 **ALSO! CHAPTER 11 DID NOT UPDATE TO THE PROPER DATE! IT WAS POSTED ON THE 31st! IF YOU MISSED THAT ONE GO BACK AND READ IT FIRST!**

Read on, loves!

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Jasper stood frozen, afraid to even breath as she and Lapis stared at each other. Every single emotion she knew, and a few that she had no name for, flashed through her as she truly registered that what she was seeing was real. Lapis was home. The other gems' faces were masks of shock in her peripheral vision. Everything was silent, but for the pounding of her heart. Steven suddenly cheered and jumped down from Jasper's shoulder. "Lapis! You're home!" He cried happily, running to her. He threw himself at her, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her tightly.

She hugged him back but her wide, dark eyes didn't leave Jasper. Connie descended more carefully from her shoulders and Jasper sensed that the human girl was sensing what Steven was not. Lapis was a line of tension on a hairline trigger; a fight was almost inevitable. Jasper felt a flash of respect for the girl for seeing the truth so quickly, but the majority of her focus was on the brewing storm across the room.

" _ **You**_!" The word was spat into the loaded silence like venom. Lapis' voice hit Jasper with an almost physical force, the tone cutting through every mental shield she had. She had to fight not to physically flinch.

The others went into subtle fighting stances. Connie was the most obvious, having actually put her hand on the hilt of the Rose sword. All of them were focused on Lapis' firm grip on Steven who was finally aware of the mood in the room.

The pipes groaned forebodingly. "Lapis..." He whispered softly as every faucet in the house began dripping water in a steady stream. The water slowly drifted towards her, swirling in the air in a deceptively languid way. Lapis was panting, eyes wide and terrified and her entire body was trembling. Jasper knew that look, having spent months studying the hydrokinetic gem's expressions; Lapis was fighting for control.

Jasper was terrified of what could happen; what would probably happen. The situation was too volatile. Even the future seeing Garnet looked scared.

This had been a tight knit group before. The only change was herself. If she left, maybe the others could talk Lapis down and simply enjoy her return to Earth. She tried to make herself believe the out was for the better of the others and ignore the almost overpowering urge to simply run.

She caught Steven's eye. "I'm leaving." She told him.

He nodded quickly. She hunched her shoulders to hide her sudden trembling and turned back to the door. She heard a sudden movement behind her and someone gasped. Jasper didn't wait to see what was happening. For the first time in her life she gave into the terror racing down her spine; she ran.

She threw open the door, leaped over the railing, and dove through the air to land on the beach below. She took off down the shoreline, running as fast as she could. The landscape was a blur around her and the air stung her eyes from the force, but the pain only pushed her to move faster. Every iota of fear from her days under Lapis as Malachite was back as if it were happening again. What if Lapis came after her? What if she trapped them again? What if she ripped away all of the good that both of them had achieved and they went back to that state of war and hatred that had been their reality until it had broken them both so completely that they forgot who they were again and were nothing but a shell of two gems who acted without thought on whatever impulse overrode their apathy? Until they were nothing but numbness and raw emotion and pain.

Her foot caught on rock and she fell. She blinked and only just then realized that her eyes were full of tears. Her breath was coming in ragged gasps, but it felt like she wasn't breathing at all. She was trembling so badly that she stumbled again as she tried to rise and she punched the sand with a cry full of sorrow, fear, and rage all at once.

Even the spectacular half bowl of glassed sand did nothing to still the torment that raged through her. So many emotions surged through her at once in a confusing and tangled loop: Elation that Lapis was home. Terror that Lapis was home. Sadness that her new life would probably be cut short. Anger that she was the one who had to give way. Guilt at her anger. Sadness at her guilt. Happiness that Steven got to have his friend back. Fear that Lapis might try to turn them against her.

The last thought was so bad to her that it gave her the power to snap out of the dark storm for a moment. The terror was still there, roaring like a beast inside her mind, but she knew that if she could simply occupy her mind, she could keep it somewhat at bay.

She looked around her. The shoreline was wide here and flatly rocky. The few dunes there were were shallow and the wind was strong. There was no cover anywhere near. That was not good. She needed a place to hunker down and make a plan; she couldn't go back to the beach house and risk another run in with Lapis anytime soon.

She began wracking her mind, trying to think of any place she'd seen or learned about that would suit her. Before any came to mind, she pursed her lips and looked up to the sky. If she wanted Steven to be able to find her, there was only one choice. Once she had mapped out her location, she set off towards the place it had all begun; the Beta Kindergarten.

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Aaaaaaand I'm glad that's up. I really wish I had the strength of mind to write longer chaps again and do more frequent posts, but I shall do my best to do what I can, when I can. Thank you, loves, oh so much for the messages and well wishes. I appreciate all of you who enjoy reading what I am lucky enough to share.

Stay safe and read on! Until next time, loves! Laters!


	13. Chapter 13

Pieces

Chapter 13

Kitatanya

A/N: (Repeated at end of chapter in case you want to skip the into for now)

I'M BACK! Sorry for the forced hiatus. I took a bit of a spiritual retreat to try and sort out a few things and was unable to take my writing with me, but I am back and slowly getting back on track.

THANK YOU SO UCH FOR CONTINUING TO SUPPORT THIS STORY! I know we've had some ups and downs with my long breaks between posting and the last two chapters were COMPLETELY unedited thanks to severe time restrictions, but I'll go back and tidy them up later.

But! Enough chatter! For now, let's press on! READ ON, LOVES!

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Several days had passed since Jasper had posted herself at the Beta Kindergarten, waiting for Steven to find her and tell her what she should do. A part of her wondered whether or not he would contact her at all. The thought made her heart ache.

She sat in the slanting shade of the curving stone walls of her birthplace, out of sight of her hole. It was hot here; much hotter than the beach that she had grown accustomed to. The air tasted of dust and she missed the briny scent of the sea more than she ever thought she'd miss a scent; or anything for that matter. She found herself missing Steven and Lion and the others. She missed their noise. All of the talking and commotion had unnerved her at first, but she realized now that she had come to almost depend on them to keep her from drawing too far into herself. Here there were only bad memories and dust. There were signs of some forms of life, but nothing seemed to remain. Nothing but her.

But she couldn't go back. Not now that Lapis was there. The mere thought terrified her, and even though she hated the fact that she was being a coward, she simply could not see herself ever being able to face Lapis' anger again. Lapis had nearly destroyed her once; she didn't know if she would have the strength to survive their twisted fusion again. And she hated that too. She hated the fact that no matter how much she tried to change, Lapis would never see it. Lapis would never give her the chance that the others had. And no matter how fair or unfair that was, it was simply a reality that she had to accept; and that hurt worse than it all.

The thoughts had hit her before. She _wanted_ to be near Lapis. She wanted to hear her voice again and now that Lapis was actually back on Earth, the feeling was overwhelmingly painful. Entertaining the thoughts before, when they had been nothing more than a whim had hurt as well, but nothing like this.

Tears welled in her eyes, and this time, she did not try to fight them. She hung her head and let them fall. They felt cool against the incredible heat of the air. The ever-present, icy feeling at her core was growing stronger with every moment and she was suddenly shivering. It was as if the heat had been only an illusion and this cold was her reality.

She was alone. She would always be alone. No one would stay with her. She didn't even want to stay with herself. Anger flooded through her at her own self loathing, but even the fire of her rage wasn't hot enough to fend off the chill of her utter despair.

A sound cut through the thoughts roaring in her head; something scraping along stone. She was instantly alert. Nothing moved here but the wind and sand. The cold left her in a tingling rush and she was suddenly gasping and sweating in the incredible heat again. For a moment, she thought that she should be afraid or angry or... something, but she was strangely still numb as a shadow fell in front of her resting place.

A moment later, a creature crawled into view. It was a corrupted gem. It looked like a large lizard, but its pinkish-orange hide seemed covered in a film of glassy stone in places and tufts of yellow fur grew from behind each of its six legs and from the back of its elongated head. It's hazy green eyes were protected from the sun and flying sand by folds of skin and arced horns of stone that were a darker orange and more horny protrusions ran along its back and tail. A dark tongue flicked out from between its uneven teeth, testing the air, before it turned its head to look at her.

Jasper stared at it, feeling nothing. There was no urge to destroy it. There was no urge to fight it. She simply stared at it as it stared back at her. There was no emotion in its hazy gaze. It seemed as disinclined to move as she did and, for a single, crazy, moment, she remembered her own corruption.

A strange, almost overwhelming sensation flooded her and she felt her battle lust rise in an instant. The corrupted gem reeled and hissed at her, eyes narrowing into slits of fury. Jasper bared her teeth and rose, stepping down from the rock as her body unfolded to stand, tall and proud in front of the low slung creature. It surprised her by rearing up on its hind legs and looking her in the eyes. They were the same height. She grinned at it. It imitated her.

She was confused for a moment. Why had she stood to challenge it? There was no reason for her to fight the corrupted gem before her. She couldn't bubble gems like the Crystal Gems did. She didn't want to shatter it. Poofing it would have no purpose. She could see her own confusion echoed in its eyes and was struck with the sudden realization that even if this gem was not like her anymore, it was still a gem.

Its- no, _her_ \- gem was low on her neck, ovular in shape and was a mottled pinkish color, shot through with purple. What kind of gem had she been before the corruption struck her? What had cause her corruption? What had caused any of the corruption?

She had never asked Steven and the others what had caused it. She hadn't questioned how Steven had lifted her own corruption, but maybe if he had done it for her, he could also do it for the other corrupted gems. Maybe he could even do it for this one.

Before she could do anything else, the strange sensation from before returned, stronger than before, and she felt her heart begin to pound as her vision swam red. Her hands clenched into fists and the corrupted gem hissed at her, a line of sticky looking drool dripping from her bared maw. Both of them stayed frozen, waiting for the other to make the first move. The sun beat down on them and the world warped around them in a haze from the incredible heat, but Jasper was focused only on the corrupted gem before her and she was only focused on Jasper.

Again, Jasper was confused. They weren't fighting. What was going on?

"Jasper!" A voice cut through the hot air, echoing around them.

Jasper jerked around and saw Steven running towards them. She looked back at the corrupted gem and saw that she was now hissing at Steven. She dropped back onto all six legs and began slinking towards him with a speed that seemed incredible given her girth. Steven stopped with a squeak and dove behind a rock. Jasper cried out in dismay and ran after her.

Her unwillingness to fight had put Steven in danger. She should have gone with the instincts trying to override her new senses; the instinct to fight and to destroy any possible threat. But even as the thought entered her head, she rebelled against it. If that had been the case, then the Crystal gems would have destroyed her when she had succumbed to the corruption. Whether or not it was the right thing for them to have done, it was done now, and she was grateful for it. And if she could help it, other gems would get the chance too.

"No! Stop! He's a friend!" She cried, even though she knew it was futile. To her utter surprise, the corrupted gem actually did stop and she turned her head to regard the warrior gem with one green eye. "He's a friend." She repeated firmly as she approached. She walked past her, getting between her and the rock Steven was hiding behind. "He won't hurt you." The corrupted gem made a creeling noise and titled her head to the side and Jasper glanced back to see Steven peeking out from behind the rock. Jasper realized she was curious about him.

"H-hi there." He stammered, seeming to realize it too. The corrupted gem tilted her head to the other side. Jasper smiled at him when he looked up at her, so happy and feeling a strange sense of pride in him that he accepted the situation so quickly. He smiled back at her. "So." He drew the word out, sounding curious.

Jasper shrugged. "She just appeared."

She thought she saw a look of shock flicker across Steven's face but he was smiling again before she could be sure. He turned back to the corrupted gem. "How are you?" He asked her.

The corrupted gem looked at him and righted her head. She creeled again and tilted her head up surprising Jasper by inflating a fold of skin under her chin with air. As she released the air through her teeth, bubbles formed from her sticky drool, floating into the air, some pink, some purple.

Steven scratched his chin, studying the bubbles. "Yeah, it's kind've been a day, huh?"

Jasper had to fight a laugh. She could make no sense of the bubbles and the thought that Steven could, amused her. The entire situation was kind of amazing. She was caught between laughter and awe, when a pulse seemed to hum through the air. She screamed and only distantly heard the mutation echo her as her as her vision swam as strange

Rage filled her. Red spots filled her eyes and she faced the corrupted gem, who was snarling, drool dripping from her fangs. She growled and the corrupted gem answered with a low hiss.

"Jasper?! Whats happening?" Steven asked urgently. His voice seemed to come from far away.

Another pulse. The urge to fight grew stronger. The corrupted gem reeled as she stumbled, breath coming in gasps. The corrupted gem's breath was coming in pants, her sides heaving as she looked back up at Jasper. The tall warrior gem did not know what was happening, but she did not know if she could fight this strange sensation much longer. She saw a tear roll from one of the corrupted gem's eyes before she gave in to the rage and charged.

Jasper's heart felt torn, but she leapt to meet her. It was either give in, or risk Steven, and she wasn't willing to do that, no matter what the cost. Her fist connected with the corrupted gem's stony forehead, bringing them both to an abrupt halt. They stared into each other's eyes.

"I don't want to do this." She whispered, looking into conflicted green eyes. The corrupted gem hissed in answer, though there was a hint of the friendly creel from before. She didn't want to fight either, but whatever was happening was beyond their control. They both understood and Jasper felt some of the conflict leave her heart as she resigned herself to this fight. She saw the corrupted gem's eyes go distant and knew she had done the same.

The leaped back from one another and Jasper jerked her head, materializing her helmet. The corrupted gem sucked in a huge breath and swallowed it. As the air entered her body, the spikes on her head and along her back expanded to twice the length, now shot through with reddish crystals. Her tail was suddenly covered in fine, needle-like crystalline spines. She roared, and her voice was deeper. Jasper roared back and they charged each other again. The fight was on.

Jasper expected another headbutt, but was surprised when the corrupted gem stopped with a jerk and used her body's arrested momentum to swing her back half around. Her heavy tail hit the warrior gem in the stomach, spines piercing her thin armor and into the flesh beneath. Jasper's breath was forced from her lungs in a painful cough and she careened backwards, only just managing to angle her body so that she could land on her shoulders and roll back onto her feet.

The corrupted gem gave her no time to recover, surging forward with that incredible speed to be within striking distance in moments. Jasper was prepared this time for the tail lash and jumped over the flailing limb to land nimbly on the corrupted gem's back. She wasted no time, immediately beginning to rain blows down on the back of her stony head. The horns there began to crack and crumble, but before she could do any lasting damage, the corrupted gem writhed and angled her tail to strike the warrior gem from her back. Jasper was forced to jump off to avoid her tail, leaving her dangerously close and vulnerable for a few critical seconds. The corrupted gem took the opening, snapping her head sideways and Jasper barely managed to brace herself so that she slid sideways instead of being knocked from her feet again.

She took a giant leap backwards and tried to figure out a workable strategy. She was at a complete disadvantage. She had no way to attack without getting in close, but her enemy had a much wider arsenal of attacks than she did. The corrupted gem's entire body was a flexible weapon and her body was covered in stony, armored hide. Her speed was incredible and her strength was formidable.

She spun to face the tall warrior and opened her maw. She tilted back her head, inflating the fold of skin under her chin and began to form a few bubbles from between her teeth, but these bubbles were not the lighthearted bubbles of before. These glowed with energy and shot towards her the moment they were fully formed. Jasper had to roll away to avoid them and they blasted into the rocky ground where she had stood, covering it in a sticky, pink and purple tar-like substance. She saw her opponent charge, but was unable to stop as the substance spread as the corrupted gem charged to intercept her and Jasper rolled right into a powerful strike from her tail. Her shoulder landed in the sticky goop and she tried to rise, but was stuck in the substance. She fought against it, but knew she would never free herself before her opponent struck again. The corrupted gem reared up on her hind legs and roared victoriously as she towered over the pinned warrior gem. Jasper could only brace herself as those powerful jaws came down in what she was sure would be a devastating attack.

Out of nowhere, Steven leaped into the air above her, blocking the harsh sun for a moment and the corrupted gem screeched in pain as her jaws were deflected by the sudden appearance of his shield. He pushed against the screeching gem and she flew backwards to hit the ground on her stony hide, stunned.

Steven landed in front of her, shield retracting into its dormant state. His eyes were pained, but deterined. "Let's work together."

Jasper felt her heart skip a beat. He didn't know what was going on any more than she did, but that he was still willing to stand by her side after her show of cowardice at the beach house meant the world to her. She sat up and yanked her shoulder free of the goop. Her heart was full and she wanted to express how much it meant to her, but the urge to fight was still pounding in her mind and their opponent was recovering quickly. She looked into his eyes and hoped that he could see what she couldn't say. He smiled up at her, that big, happy smile and she smiled back, before closing her eyes and centering herself. She had to focus on the task at hand; with Steven truly on the line, this fight had just become even more serious.

"Just follow my lead." She rasped.

With a yell of fury, she jumped high into the air. She turned her body, pointing her helmet downwards and aimed all of her momentum behind it's shining point towards the corrupted gem, who was still struggling to rise. It managed to regain its feet and leap away a moment before she struck and Jasper barely managed to keep herself from crashing entirely into the ground by throwing out an arm and turning her attack into an acrobatic tumble. The save from her own collateral damage had left her vunerable again, however, and the corrupted gem again made to take advantage of the opening.

Steven jumped in front of her and deflected the attack with his shield just in time, giving Jasper the second she needed to recover. She stepped over Steven and struck while the corrupted gem was still suprised by Steven's sudden appearance, managing a powerful punch to the side of her head that snapped a large horn entirely away and left a deep crack in the stony armor of her temple.

The corrupted gem reeled and lashed out with her tail. Jasper had no time to dodge, but Steven ducked between her legs, materializing his shield just in time to deflect it. Jasper stepped forward and aimed a sharp kick to the corrupted gem's stony side that sent her rolling over the hot sand and sharp stones with a screech of pain.

Jasper felt there would be no end to this fight. The Corrupted gem's stony armor was too thick to penetrate with blunt damage and she was too fast for any of the warrior gem's more powerful attacks. The incredible heat was affecting Steven, even if he tried not to show it, and she had taken a lot of damage early on. The wounds on her stomach were steadily seeping blood and she could feel them opening further with each movement. If they didn't get lucky, and fast, she wasn't sure how long this fight would last. The corrupted gem charged them, roaring in rage. Steven leaped forward to fend off her headbutt and Jasper stepped around him, crouching low to punch her under the chin as her head flew back. She flew backwards to crash onto her back and lay there, twitching.

Jasper saw a quick opportunity and reached forward to pluck out her gem. The corrupted gem's eyes met hers as her fingers closed around the warm stone. Jasper tensed, waiting for her to strike, but instead, she lay still and slowly closed her eyes. Jasper felt a lump swell in her throat as she saw tears leak from beneath her eyelids. Jasper gritted her teeth and pulled the her gem free with a sharp twist. A shrill shriek and a poof of smoke ended the fight. As the smoke cleared, her mind was finally free of the strange sensation.

She stood and looked down at the mottled gem in her hands. Her heart felt heavy as she saw a droplet of moisture shining on its side. A tear. This corrupted gem could have defeated them, but had chosen instead to let them defeat her, so that she did not have to hurt them anymore. Jasper closed her fist over it, holding it safe for a moment, before turning to hand it to a grim looking Steven. He took it from her and materialized a bubble around it. With a sigh, he sent it off.

They were silent for a moment. "Can you heal the other corrupted gems like you did me?" She asked softly.

Steven sighed again. "To be honest, I don't really know how I healed you." She blinked at him and he shrugged. He walked over to the shade of the curving walls and sat down. She followed, sitting beside him as he continued. "I haven't told you about Centipeedle yet, have I?"

Jasper shook her head. "No. What has that go to do with me?"

Steven looked over at her. Centipeedle was the first corrupted gem I ever tried to heal."

Jasper's eyes went wide with shock. "You've tried before?" She asked.

He nodded, still looking grim. "And see, the thing is, it didn't really work with her. Well, I mean, It kind of did, but it didn't. That's why everyone was so shocked when you reformed like you are now. Centipeedle never returned to a full gem. In fact, when we were trying to find out why she was here, her memories started to fail and the corruption came back. She reverted back to her corrupted form, but not before we found her crew and reunited her with them. They're still here, in their crashed spaceship. Safe and isolated from the world." His voice sounded a bit more peaceful. "But you don't show any signs of the corruption. You still have your memories. You're still you. And, the thing is, I'm not even sure if I had anything to do with healing you."

She shook her head, confused. "But if you didn't heal the corruption, then who did?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that when I tried to heal your gem, all it did was make the corruption a little lesser, but it didn't take it away. Then, over the next few days, when you didn't reform, we watched. You gem started to clear on its own. The corruption grew less every day. Peridot made jokes that even the corruption wasn't as stubborn as you were, but we still didn't expect you to come back as.. completely as you did. I'm glad you did. I'm really glad, but I really don't know how it happened. None of us do. I'm almost afraid to try it again until we can find out."

Jasper looked out at the walls of her birthplace, shocked to her core. She had never felt more alien than she did in this moment. The corruption had taken her as completely as any other corrupted gem, and yet she had come back untouched. Why? Why was she always the one that was different? She was glad that she wasn't permanently damaged, but why wasn't she? It was a little terrifying to think about.

Steven sighed again and stood. "We'd better get back. I told Amethyst to distract Pearl for me so that I could come find you. Corruption and mutant activity has gotten really bad over the last few days and so she didn't want me to leave alone."

Jasper pursed her lips at the news. She wondered if there was a reason for the spike in activity. Then she remembered the strange sensation from before and the overwhelming urge to fight that had affected both her and the corrupted gem earlier. Steven had seemed unaffected, but he might have an answer.

"Earlier, before you came, when I first saw the gem from earlier, she and I weren't fighting. But then... It's hard to describe, but it was almost like blood lust took me over. Her too. We didn't want to fight, but the urge was there. We tried to stop, but we couldn't, until you came. Then it happened again."

Steven was looking at her, wide-eyed. "Is that what happened when you both screamed?"

She nodded. Then she realized something. Looking back, she realized it had happened in the field of flowers as well, but the mutation had attacked first. Maybe it would have attacked anyway, but if whatever had affected her had affected it as well, then it might not have had a choice. Only the thought of Steven's well-being had kept her level-headed both times."Its happened before. With that mutation at the flower warp. I saw red then too."

His eyes shot wider. "Can you think of any other times?"

She searched her mind, but those were the only two instances that really stuck out. All of the other fights and rages had been her own. "Not offhand, but if I do, I'll tell you."

He seemed contemplative for a moment. "Maybe we can ask the others? They might know something."

Jasper inwardly balked at the thought of telling the others about her loss of control, but what other choice did they have? And what of Lapis? She inwardly shook herself; she could not afford to think of Lapis right now. "Okay. If there is something out there causing gems to lose control, then we need to know about it."

He nodded at her. "Then let's go. The sooner we ask, the sooner we can try to get to the bottom of this."

She watched as he started to walk to the warp. There was no sense of urgency about him, just a quiet determination. Again, she caught a glimpse of the leader she had seen before. She got the sense that any gem who saw it, would follow him to any end he walked towards. She wondered if Rose Quartz had been the same. She must have been. It had to have come from somewhere. But Steven was much more than the son of Rose Quartz. He was unique and she was again glad that she had chosen to surrender so that she could walk behind him and protect him and this strange world that she now called home. Whatever was happening, they would find out and they would stop it. Lapis or no Lapis. She had sworn to defend Earth, and defend it she would. She set of after Steven, heart pounding with both anticipation and just a hint of fear.

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I'M BACK! Sorry for the forced hiatus. I took a bit of a spiritual retreat to try and sort out a few things and was unable to take my writing with me, but I am back and slowly getting back on track.

THANK YOU SO UCH FOR CONTINUING TO SUPPORT THIS STORY! I know we've had some ups and downs with my long breaks between posting and the last two chapters were COMPLETELY unedited thanks to severe time restrictions, but I'll go back and tidy them up later.

Please don't forget to drop me a line every now and then and let me know what you think. I love hearing back from you all and am happy to answer any and all questions. Even if I don't respond right away, I WILL. (I'm not lonely at all, why do you ask? XD)

Anyways! That's all from me! Until next time! Ja!


	14. Chapter 14

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 14**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: No note here except to say, THANKS FOR READING!**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

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Steven stopped just beside the warp pad. "Um. Maybe I should heal that before we go. And you should clean up too. That way Pearl won't freak out as much when she finds out what happened."

Jasper repaired her armor with a thought and turned to him. She obligingly raised the hem of her shirt and tried not to focus on the fact that it was spit he was smearing there. Even if it was a useful skill, it was still disgusting.

"How about we just... not tell her?" She asked, only half joking.

Steven smiled ruefully. "It's better to just get it out of the way early. She _always_ finds out."

Jasper grunted and tucked her top back in as the healing spit finished it's work. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Then he sighed. "Time to face the music." They stepped onto the pad.

Jasper felt a bit guilty that he would be in trouble for coming after her, and even more guilty that she was glad he still had, even though he'd known he would. They were silent as they warped back to the house. Jasper was ready for a lukewarm greeting at best as she and Steven materialized on the warp pad inside the house, but was surprised when she was met with a cry of delight.

"Jazz! You're back!" Amethyst yelled from the kitchen.

"Told you I knew where she was." Steven said in a cocky manner. The purple gem jumped over the counter and ran to give him a high five, before turning to hold up a fist at the warrior gem.

Jasper grinned down at her, feeling lighter than she had in days as she bumped Amethyst's fist with her own. "I got bored, so I let him drag me back." She joked.

Amethyst giggled. "Finally, someone with a sense of humor. It's been a real drag since you left."

The door opened and a frantic looking Pearl burst inside. " _Amethyst_! Tell me the truth! Where is he? He was _not_ at Fish-Stew Pizza!"

"Chill _out_ , Pearl! He's right here!"

Pearl only them seemed to see Jasper and Steven. A look of profound relief crossed her face, before she scowled. "You left without telling me!" She scolded.

"Aw, Pearl! I was _fine_! Jasper and I fought off a corrupted gem all by ourselves!"

Jasper winced as Pearl seemed to inflate with fury. "You did _what_!?"

"Yo! Nice one!" Amethyst cheered, clapping him on the back.

"Amethyst! Don't encourage his reckless behavior! What if he'd been hurt?"

Jasper felt slightly insulted. "I was with him. He was safe." Pearl glared at her and Jasper stood her ground. She knew that Pearl was possessive about Steven, but she was just as capable a protector as the slender pearl.

"She's right, Pearl. She even may have found an answer to our problem."

Pearl blinked and seemed confused and a little less mad. "She what now?"

Steven nodded. "Something may be causing the corrupted gems and mutations to lose control of themselves. That's why so many are coming out of hiding all at once."

Pearl scoffed. "Oh, be serious. Those creatures have no control to lose."

Jasper's jaw dropped. "Those were gems just like us once!" She cried on outrage.

Pearl blinked at her, shocked by her outburst. "Of course they were, but they aren't anymore and thinking of them as the gems they once were is an insult."

" _Insult_?!" Jasper snapped. "The gems they were are still in there! They're just confused. They don't know why they are the way they are, but they are _who_ they are when given the chance. Even if it's different, its not bad!"

Pearl shook her head. "I've been on this planet since the corruption _started_! Centuries ago! Don't try to tell me what corruption does to gems. Do you know how many of my friends are corrupted now? How may gems I knew both before and after it took them over?!" Tears filled her eyes. "They don't remember _what_ they are, much less _who_! They're reduced to nothing but creatures with simple goals and, if left to roam unchecked, they could cause massive damage to this planet and to mankind!"

Jasper shook her head. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but if the corruption has been going on for that long and there are no new gems coming to earth, then why only now are some of them coming out of hiding? Some of them have to have been living perfectly peaceful lives, not hurting anything and far removed from humans for at least that long." She stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm not saying that they shouldn't be put into stasis for their own safety and the safety of others, but treating them like animals is wrong."

"You're one to talk." A familiar voice spat. Jasper looked to see Peridot standing in the doorway to the bathroom. She stepped into the room and closed the door before Pumpkin could follow her out. "You were treating them even worse than most humans treat animals. You had them in cages and were torturing them."

Jasper hung her head, heart aching as she was reminded of one of her most evil acts. "I was wrong." She whispered.

"You _what_?" Peridot said in disbelief.

Jasper felt tears fill her eyes: angry, guilty tears. " _ **I was wrong**_!" She yelled. "I was wrong about a lot of things! I can't change who I was! But I _can_ change who I am! And I know now that they are more than just creatures."

"And why should we believe you?" The green gem snapped.

Jasper looked up, glaring into Peridot's eyes through her tears. "Because I know what it's like to _be_ one now!" Peridot's face went pale and her eyes were so wide they looked like they'd bug from her head. Jasper could have stopped there, but she was so angry and she had had enough of Peridot and Pearl being suspicious of her. She was doing her best to be nice, but she would not be silent any longer. "And even now that I'm healed and trying to live a better life and trying to somehow find a purpose outside of the evil that was all I've ever known, I am constantly reminded of all of the bad things I did. _I_ _ **know**_ _what I did!_ And I'll carry it with me until I shatter." She looked at Pearl. "I may have been on the wrong side for as long as you've been on the right one, but at least I am trying to change, trying to see things a new way. And every moment I try, I have to wonder if I truly even deserve the chance to try, because all I've ever done before was wrong!" She looked away as her tears started to fall in earnest. "Can't I at least try to be right before you decide I'm wrong?" She asked quietly.

Tense silence was her only answer. She was thankful. She wasn't quite sure how she would respond to another harsh statement in that moment. She clenched her fists and walked through the heavy silence to the door. She opened it and looked back at Steven.

"I'll be on guard outside if you need me." She rasped around the lump in her throat.

Steven stared at her with wide, tearful eyes. "Okay, Jasper." She nodded at him and closed the door with a soft, but decisive click.

The smell of the sea greeted her like an old friend and seeing the waves stretching before her, lapping and curling in the sun was just as breathtaking as the first time she had truly looked at it. She felt more tears build, but they did not fall. They were a different kind of tear. Happiness and sadness warred within her.

Lion had been napping in the sun outside the door, but her exit had woken him. He rolled to his feet and huffed a greeting, butting his head into her side. She laughed around the urge to cry as he wound himself around her, rubbing his warm side against her, purring loudly as she began to stroke him.

"I'm glad to see you too, Lion." She said softly, leaning towards him as she ruffled his mane.

He looked up at her and blinked, before lifting his head to rasp his tongue over her cheek, drying her tears with his rough tongue. He huffed again and she could swear that he sounded concerned. His eyes were confused and the soft look in them was her undoing. She fell to her knees as her tears started to fall in earnest again.

She was ashamed of her outburst at Pearl and Peridot, no matter how justified it had been. She didn't even want to know if Lapis had heard; didn't even want to know where she was. Steven was happy to be near her and so were Amethyst and Lion. If the others couldn't accept her, then they didn't have to. She did not have anything to prove to anyone but herself. But that did not mean that it did not hurt her and her pride was meaning less and less as she walked forward in this new life. So, when Lion cuddled against her trying to comfort her, she let him and when her sobs could no longer be silent, she did not try to contain her voice. Steven said that there was no shame in admitting pain and she had contained hers for far too long. She sat in the sun and she let herself cry and did not care who heard or saw her.

How long she cried, she didn't know, but eventually, the tide stopped. Lion stayed curled against her, softly purring and she reached over to pet him as she watched the waves through the railings of the porch. She could hear seagulls off in the distance and the distant sounds of the human city. She could hear the faint sounds of talking from inside, or maybe it was Steven's television, she couldn't be sure. The sound of the sea overlapped it all, tying it all together in a symphony of life. She found herself smiling. She had missed it.

She leaned her head back and looked up at the sky, happy to see the great fluffy clouds that seemed to contain so many shapes since she had learned about imagination with Steven. Tonight, the sky would be full of stars and the moon would dance on the waves and she would be here, ready to protect Earth from anything that threatened this new kind of peace she was only just beginning to enjoy.

It didn't matter if she deserved a second chance. She had one now and she would not waste it. She would do what she could to be a good gem, a good person, and no matter what came of it, at least at the end, she could say that she tried.

Not long after she'd calmed, the door opened and Garnet stepped outside. Jasper smiled tentatively up at her, surprised at how happy she was to see the fusion, but unsure of her reception. Garnet smiled hugely down at her and Jasper felt a wash of relief. "Glad to have you back, Jasper." She said softly.

"Glad to be back." She replied honestly.

"I hear you and Steven had an interesting day at the Beta Kindergarten."

Jasper chuckled softly. "You could say that." Then she sobered. "Did Steven tell you about what happened with my loss of control?"

Garnet nodded. "And how much more it seemed to affect the corrupted gem than you. You were able to fight it longer than she was and were more able to keep your head when he joined the fight."

Jasper blushed and looked away. "She let us win at the end though. She let me take her gem to stop the fight." She could see those tearful green eyes again in her mind like they were right before her.

"Did she now?" Garnet asked softly.

Jasper nodded. "She didn't want to hurt us, but she knew she couldn't stop. And as soon as she poofed, my head was clear again." She looked back up at Garnet. "What could it mean?"

The fusion's lips were pursed. "I don't know. We're going to go to the Beta Kindergarten and investigate. Peridot is going to check the basic operation software there for activity. Pearl is going to help her while Amethyst and I search the surrounding terrain. I need you to stay with Steven in case there is more activity here." Then she smiled. "Or to supervise him if he decides on another outing."

Jasper nodded and stood, glad that Garnet trusted her to keep Steven safe. "Affirmative." Lion stood and shook himself, before yawning hugely to follow them as they went inside.

Amethyst, Peridot and Pearl were standing on the warp pad already, waiting for Garnet. Amethyst waved, but neither Pearl or Peridot looked at each her. She returned Amethyst's lighthearted wave, ignoring Peridot and Pearl in turn, and looked up to see Steven watching his television. Lion had already made himself comfortable on Steven's bed and seemed determined to finish his nap. Cat-Steven curled up on top of him, little body rising and falling with his breath.

"We'll be back soon. We love you!" Garnet called to him as she stepped onto the pad with the others.

Steven looked down at them all and smiled. "Love you too! Be safe!" He called back.

Garnet blew him a kiss and activated the warp. After a flash of light, they were gone. As soon as it faded, Jasper heard Pumpkin scratching at the door of the bathroom.

"Can I let Pumpkin out?" She asked Steven in a half yell.

"If Peridot asks, I let her out when I went to the bathroom." Was his answer.

She grinned and went to release the whimpering creature. Pumpkin burst from the door in a flurry of happy barking and bouncing. She ran across the room a few times, barking madly, before coming back to stand at Jasper's feet, panting happily. Jasper laughed at her energetic antics.

"Someone was cooped up for too long."

"Yeah, Peridot has been spending much more time in the bathroom since Lapis came back. And she hasn't been letting her out to play as much with all the craziness going on. It's made scheduling bathroom time... difficult." He sighed.

"Where is Lapis, by the way. "Jasper asked, trying and failing to keep her voice normal.

Steven blinked, snapping from his thoughts. "Oh, that's right. You don't know about the barn."

"Barn?" She asked, confused.

"Yeah. That's where Lapis lives. Peridot used to live there too, before she left."

Jasper remembered Peridot telling her that. "So why isn't Peridot staying there now?" She asked.

He squirmed uncomfortably. "Well, I don't know if it's really my place to say much, but... she and Lapis sort of had a falling out before Lapis left and, when she first came back, it seemed like they were ready to patch things up. Peridot actually took Pumpkin and went to stay with her for a few days. But... they came back. It didn't work out."

Jasper looked away, a mix of emotions playing through her. She didn't really know what to say. She was still a little angry at Peridot, but was sad for her too. And for Lapis. She didn't really know how close Peridot and Lapis had become, but she knew that they had at least been friends, if not more. It must hurt for them to not be able to be together anymore.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Steven looked a little sad too. "Yeah... it sucks. But maybe one day they can work things out. Friendship is great, but it does take work. I just hope they keep trying."

Jasper nodded, but her thoughts were not really in agreement with him. Some things were too big to forgive. Some relationships were too broken to repair. Maybe Lapis and Peridot might be able to repair theirs, maybe not. There was no hope for her.

"What's wrong?" Steven asked her.

She shook her head. "Just thinking."

He hummed. "Bout what?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Prying again, little Rose?"

"Would I do that?" He grinned at her, batting his lashes in a demure way that she thought should have seemed out of place for a male to do, but that he pulled off perfectly.

"Yes." She took tow steps and jumped up to his room and sat down with her legs dangling over the edge. "But I'll let you this time."

Maybe sharing her feeling with him would help with her feeling about Lapis, just like it had helped with other things. And, for some reason, she suddenly very much wanted to talk about them. Maybe it was the fact that she knew that they were alone. Maybe it was because she was confused about so many other things, that this one seemed less confusing in those ways and more confusing in different ones. Maybe it was because she was still tender from the events of today. Whatever the reason, she wanted to share with Steven and knew he wanted to listen.

"So what's up?" He asked softly.

"I was thinking about Lapis."

"You think about her a lot, huh?" He asked gently.

She blushed. "I guess. I don't really know why though. Is it... bad that I think about her?" She asked, feeling less sure of herself now.

"Are the things you're thinking bad?"

She shook her head quickly. "No... maybe... it's just... they're not things I ever thought I'd think. I think a lot of things I never thought I'd think now." She admitted softly.

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "Lots." Then she sighed. "I want to talk to her, even though I know I can't. That it would be bad to try, but I still want to."

"That's great!" He exclaimed, sounding happily surprised. "Talking to Lapis could be really good for both of you! Why would you think that's bad?"

Jasper hung her head. "Be cause she hates me."

Steve sighed. "Well, I don't know if she _hates_ you... but she _is_ definitely still mad at you." He said quietly. "But she's mad at the old you; the way you used to be. She doesn't know this you yet."

She shook her head again. "But I'm still me no matter how much I've changed." She sighed around a sudden tightness in her throat. "You heard what Peridot said. You saw the things I did. Heard the things I said. I was _awful_ to Lapis..." Her eyes were burning with tears.

She heard Steven move and felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder. "She was awful to you too, Jasper." He whispered.

"With reason!" She said earnestly.

"You had your reasons too. Two wrongs don't make a right. But where the blame lies isn't what you need to focus on."

She was incredulous. "Then what should I focus on?" She rasped.

"Making the wrong into a right." He said firmly. "I'm not saying it won't be hard, or that it'll all work out right away, but I really, truly think that if you gave Lapis a chance, she'd surprise you."

Jasper felt hope rise in her chest and almost immediately tried to fight against it, because it hurt, because it couldn't be real. "How?" She asked, not really expecting him to have an answer.

"Because Lapis isn't the same Lapis you knew either. She's different now too. And I think that she would give you a chance, if you really showed her you were willing to try."

Jasper's heart was pounding as the feeling of hope swelled at his words, even though she still didn't fully believe it. "I wish you were right." She said softly.

Steven chuckled. "I _know_ I'm right." Then he made an excited sound. "Actually, I have a few I haven't showed you yet! From before Lapis left. Of the barn and her and Peridot and me and Pumpkin. You'll like them." He crawled around to sit beside her and dug his phone out of his pocket.

Jasper sat beside the happy boy as he manipulated the screen of his device, trying very carefully to think nothing at all. For some reason, she felt like she was on the precipice of something; like being on the edge of a massive abyss, but looking up at the sky, instead of down into it's infinite depths. It was strange and frightening and exhilarating all at once and she wasn't sure why she felt that way. She only knew that even thought it felt profound, it also felt fragile, like it might break if she studied it too closely. So she kept very still and tried not to think at all.

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 **Thanks so much for your continued support! I am SO happy to be back and able to write again. This story hasn't left my mind and I am beyond grateful that I still have the chance to write it and share it with you all. This journey SHALL BE FINISHED! I have abandoned almost every other passion to focus on this story-except for my pitiful attempts at learning the Baritone Ukulele (THE CHORDS SHALL BE MINE TO COMMAND). I hope that you will all continue to read and review. We still have a long way to go!**

 **Be safe and read on! Until next time, loves! Ja!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 15**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANKS FOR READING!**

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Jasper descended slowly from Steven's room, feeling more than a little lost. He had fallen asleep watching television after showing her the pictures. She had kept her thoughts to herself, sitting quietly beside him as he told her stories in between things that were happening on screen. She had paid no attention to the device, still carefully trying to think nothing at all, even though a part of her was clinging to his every word as he told her little pieces of his time with Lapis. She had not even realized it when he had fallen asleep at first, but as soon as she'd noticed, she had picked him carefully up and nudged the sleeping Lion into giving the boy room on the bed. The pink beast had barely woken, curling around Steven as soon as she laid him down; Cat- Steven had not even stirred.

The pictures he had shown her, showed a different Lapis than the Lapis she had known. Pictures of smiles, laughter, and happiness. In a few, there had been echoes of the Lapis she knew, but the rest... the rest had been like looking at a stranger. And Steven's lighthearted stories only drove it home. She had done her best to remain as neutral as possible while he was talking, but all the while she had been swimming through a sea of emotion. Lapis really had changed after her. She had truly been happy after their fusion. Jasper felt a heavy sensation in her chest. She'd known it before, but Lapis really had moved on.

Her mind was burning with questions. If Lapis had really been as happy as she seemed with Peridot and Steven in those pictures, how could she have given it all up? Was the thought of a fight really so terrifying that it would make her give up such happiness? Jasper's entire _existence_ centered around fighting, and nothing would make her sacrifice this new chance at life. What had been going on inside Lapis' head? She wanted to know, but what would it cost to find out?

Before she could contemplate further, the warp pad lit up as the Crystal Gems returned. Their faces were grim. Without even asking, Jasper knew that the recon mission had not gone as planned.

Garnet looked at her. "Nothing." She said, answering her unasked question.

"All of the systems were still dead. Have been for a long time. They were so far gone all I got were bits of data and I was lucky to get that. Nothing useful." Peridot spoke, manipulating the screen of the tablet on her wrist.

Jasper was surprised that the green gem had spoken to her, but she recognized that look on her face. Peridot was still in mission mode; whether she liked a gem or not was irrelevant when she had a task at hand. It was almost a relief.

"There was much less left of it than the Prime Kindergarten systems." Pearl added.

"The differences between well planned and rushed installations were quite obvious. It functioned well enough to do what it was built to do, but beyond that, it didn't matter." Peridot replied.

"And there was nothing to find outside either. The signs of your fight were there, but nothing else. It was quiet." Amethyst said quietly, like she was thinking hard.

"Too quiet." Garnet tacked on. Her full lips were pursed into an unhappy line. "We checked every nook and cranny, but there was nothing to find."

Jasper sighed. "So we're back at square one."

"Not quite." Peridot said, not looking up. "We have a few other options to explore." Her voice was dark as she said it and Jasper felt a trickle of foreboding run up her spine.

"No." Garnet said firmly.

"Can I at least say it before you shoot it down?" Peridot grumbled, looking up at her.

"The answer is no." Garnet's voice was a line of anger.

Peridot faced her. "I'm not saying we can't take precautions, but it's the fastest way to test any theory we might come up with."

Pearl put a hand on Garnet's tense arm. "What is she talking about?" She asked tentatively, as if afraid that Garnet would turn the anger on her.

"Releasing a few of the corrupted gems or mutations from their bubbles and testing their reactions." She said in a very controlled way, as if she were having to concentrate very hard on each word to not let emotion color the statement.

Pearl gasped and took a step back, eyes huge with shock. " _What_?" She looked down at Peridot. "Have you gone insane?!"

Peridot scowled. "I can't think of a faster way to test whether or not the condition is situational or based on some kind of area of effect basis. We need some kind of data to go on or we have no plan."

"And releasing those _monsters_ is your idea of a _plan_?!" Pearl asked, anger warring with shock on her face.

Jasper felt a flash of anger at Pearl for her use of the word 'monster', but Peridot spoke before she had a chance to. "I don't see anyone else coming up with any bright ideas." She snapped. "We just need to pick ones that are easy to control."

Amethyst shook her head. "Peri, this sounds kinda..." She trailed off.

Peridot turned to her. "It's a sound plan, right?" She asked eagerly.

Amethyst bit her lip and looked away. "Not really." Amethyst said quietly.

Jasper realized that Amethyst was trying not to upset Peridot by speaking her mind. Jasper decided to speak for her; Peridot already hated _her_ , after all. "It sounds insane." Jasper growled.

"No one asked your opinion!" Peridot snapped, glaring at her.

Garnet stepped toward the green gem. "I want to hear her opinion." She said, still using that strained, careful tone. "You're outvoted. The answer is no."

Peridot scowled around at them all. She looked up at Pearl. "You know my logic is sound, Pearl."

Pearl looked away. "It's too dangerous."

She looked over at Amethyst. "You'd really take Jasper's side over mine?" She asked, sounding angry and hurt.

Amethyst's face was a mix of emotion. "We can think of another way." She said softly. She reached for the ferrokinetic gem's arm, but Peridot recoiled as if she'd been struck. Jasper was shocked at the look of disgust on Peridot's face as she regarded Amethyst. The purple gem's eyes swam with tears. "Peri..." She whispered.

Peridot shook her head, fast and quick. " _Fine_!" She spat.

She walked to the bathroom and stepped inside. The door slammed behind her so hard that the wall shook. They all stood in silence for a moment. Amethyst made a small sound under her breath and turned away from them all in a swirl of hair. She ran from the gem-encrusted door and disappeared inside.

Pearl sighed. She looked up at Garnet. "What will we do?" She whispered.

Garnet took a deep breath. "We keep looking. We'll find something."

"Where?" Pearl asked, sounding a little desperate.

Garnet clenched her fists. "We don't know." She admitted, sounding pained. "But we will look until we find it." She said, stepping back onto the warp pad. "I'll be back soon."

Pearl only nodded, eyes shining with unshed tears. "We'll be here."

Garnet smiled at the slender gem; it was strained, but genuine. "We know." Her voice was soft. "Make Steven eat something other than sweets for dinner." She said, confusing Jasper.

Pearl seemed to understand, because she laughed softly, a tear escaping to trail down her cheek. "You know I can't say no to him."

Garnet's smile stretched wider. "I know."

She activated the pad and was gone in a flash of light. Pearl stood there for a moment, staring at where she had been, then looked at Jasper. "Where's Steven?"

"Asleep. He was watching his television. I put him in his bed."

The slender gem looked up at the sleeping pile on his bed. Pumpkin had joined them. It was cute to see them all sleeping together on the little bed. The corner of Pearl's lips twitched before she smiled. "Thank you for looking after him." She said quietly.

Jasper was surprised, but smiled back almost automatically. "You're welcome."

Pearl nodded and turned away, walking towards the couch. She sat down and pulled out her phone. A few moments later, she was typing something. Jasper sensed that the slender gem wanted a few moments alone and since she was here to watch Steven, Jasper decided to go resume her watch.

The sun was beginning to set as she stepped out the door. She breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of the sea. The beach looked so inviting, she couldn't resist walking down the steps and onto the sand. She stopped just beyond the reach of the waves and stared out over the sea.

The sky was ablaze, clouds glowing with yellows, oranges and reds, bleeding the sea burgundy. It was a breathtaking sight. Every sunset was different here. Every morning was different. Every day was different. Change was all around her.

The wind surged and she was splashed with a mist of sea spray. The mist was cool. It was invigorating. Her heart was pounding and she suddenly couldn't stand the thought of being still. She took off along the shore at a run, glorying in the feel of running for the mere pleasure of motion. She couldn't help the smile that stretched her face; she didn't even want to try.

Today had been hard in so many ways. She had felt a kaleidoscope of emotion, fought with Steven at her side when her control was wavering by a thread, faced the accusations of her past crimes, spoken her deepest secret desire, let herself cry in front of those that used to be her enemies, learned a hard truth about corruption and more, but she did not regret a moment. That she was alive and free to have the hardships was more than enough.

 _Alive_! The word blazed through her mind. She turned and ran into the lapping waves, letting the cold seawater splash over her feet and calves. A part of her longed to swim out into that sea and see the wonders that she had only barely registered before. She wanted to see so many things now.

But fear trickled up her spine, not enough to take away the invigorated feeling she had, but enough to stop her there. Chasing after the serpent corruption had been one thing, but facing that big sea alone... the terrible pressure of the depths, the darkness of its deepest parts, the horrible sensation of being unable to breathe... Those were things she didn't want to experience again.

She felt a splash of regret enter her heart, that she had not seen its wonders for what they were when she'd had the chance, but she knew now that the experiences she'd had, both good and bad, had led her to this moment. At least now she knew what she was missing. At least now, she wasn't blind anymore. She could _see_ the world now and her heart was filled with wonder.

Still smiling, she started running back down the beach, feeling the waves and sifting sand tug at her feet. The water splashed all around her, seeming to respond to her sudden, happy mood and she laughed. Once she started laughing, she couldn't stop and by the time she was back in front of the beach house, she was breathless, but happy. She leaned forward, hands on her knees, gasping for breath as the waves still played around her ankles.

"Glad someone's in a good mood." An amused voice said from beside her.

She looked up to see Amethyst smiling at her. Jasper grinned hugely. "I don't know why, but I am." She admitted honestly.

Amethyst plopped down onto the sand, still smiling. "You don't have to know why. Just feel it, dude."

Jasper laughed and walked out of the water to sit beside her. "It's still crazy that I never knew life could be like this." She sighed happily. "Even if it's hard, this feels good."

"I'm glad." Amethyst said quietly.

Jasper looked over to see the purple quartz looking down. "You okay?" She asked.

Amethyst bit her lip. "I … I don't wanna kill your happy."

Jasper chuckled. "It heals fast."

Amethyst snorted, then sighed. "Its Peri."

Jasper frowned, remembering how Peridot had looked at Amethyst earlier. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's been different since Lapis came back." Amethyst grumbled. "It's like she's not even the same person."

Jasper wasn't quite sure how to respond. Peridot had seemed like the Peridot she knew; harsh, data driven, and angry. Then it clicked in her mind. Peridot wasn't like she was when Jasper had first reformed. She'd still been those things, but she had seemed... gentler somehow. More relaxed, at least where the warrior gem wasn't concerned.

"I wonder why?" She asked.

Amethyst frowned. "I told her to just give up on Lapis." She said quietly. "I really tried. She was finally being happy again and then Blue shows back up and Peri goes right back to her old ways." Her voice was angry now. "Staying shut in all the time, playing that lame music and treating everyone like they don't matter! Nothing matters to her but that stupid tablet! And her "data"!" She made air quotes with an angry gesture.

Jasper winced, feeling oddly as if she should defend the ferrokinetic gem. "She probably doesn't mean anything by it."

Amethyst made a choking sound and looked over at her in shock so quickly that her hair almost lashed the warrior gem in the face. "How can you say that?!" She asked in indignation. "After everything she'd said to you and how crappy she's been treating you, how can you defend her?"

Jasper winced at the wild look in her eyes. "She's always treated me that way." She said honestly. "I'm used to it."

Amethyst's eyes narrowed. "Well, you shouldn't be, 'cause it's not right. She's being terrible to everyone, but especially you."

Jasper looked away. The sky was darkening now, sun having finally sunk beneath the horizon. The clouds were fading to the deeper colors of night and the sea was more navy than burgundy. It was no less beautiful than before. She too a deep breath as she gathered her thoughts.

Peridot had hurt her, but Peridot had been hurt too. And Peridot was going through her troubles with Lapis right now. Even if she was handling it badly, Jasper knew she had no room to throw stones. She had handled everything badly before Steven, and still didn't know how to respond to certain things with a clear mind. But she was learning. Moving forward. She couldn't remain angry at Peridot in light of everything else. In the face of so many wonderful things, holding on to anger over one gem's attitude seemed... irrelevant. It seemed more productive to overlook certain things and move on to better ones when it was possible.

She felt as if a weight had lifted off her chest and found herself smiling. "I know she has a lot going on. Just like me. Just like you. Maybe she just heals differently than we do. We're all different. " She looked over to see Amethyst staring at her in shock. "Isn't that a good thing?"

Amethyst sat there staring at her in silence, eyes shining. A few tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. A moment later, she was laughing. She threw back her head and laughed. The tears squeezed through her closed eyelids, trailing down her face in glistening lines. Jasper looked away as her laughter dissolved to sobs. She wanted to comfort her, but didn't know how.

She suddenly remembered the night on the hill with Steven, when she had truly cried for the first time. Steven had held her then. Lion had held her in his way too earlier that day. Was that the way? Without giving herself time to talk herself out of it, she scooted sideways and put her arm around Amethyst's shaking shoulders. The purple quartz flinched and Jasper tensed, waiting for her to strike out, but a moment later, Amethyst turned and wrapped her arms around the warrior gem. She buried her face in Jasper's shoulder and her sobs grew even stronger. Jasper squeezed her tighter, letting her know without words that she was okay and she held the purple quartz until her tears stopped.

Amethyst sniffled and pulled away. "Sorry." She whispered, wiping her eyes with her palms.

Jasper suddenly felt decidedly embarrassed for some reason, but knew that Amethyst must feel even more so. They were very similar after all, in some ways. "All of us cry." She said simply.

Amethyst sighed. "Yeah. You're right. Still though. If you tell anyone, I'll kick your butt." She grinned hugely.

Jasper smirked at her, glad they were past the moment of awkwardness. "A few training sessions and you already think you can kick my butt?"

"Why don't we find out?" Amethyst challenged, getting up and assuming a fighting stance.

Jasper stood in a fluid motion and faced her, getting low. "Bring it on, runt!" She quipped, beckoning her with on hand.

With a yell, Amethyst charged her. Jasper blocked the powerful punch with her wrist and only barely managed to hop sideways to avoid a kick to the gut. Amethyst had gotten even faster; She was truly becoming a force to be reckoned with. The warrior grinned ferally. Amethyst tossed her hair from her eyes and returned it with a wide smirk of her own. This was going to be fun!

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 **THANKS FOR READING! UNTIL NEXT TIME! JA!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 16**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: READ ON, LOVES!**

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A few hours later, Jasper was sitting alone on the beach, watching the moonlight dance on the waves. Her body ached in a few places where Amethyst had struck her, and she was certain the purple quartz was feeling more than a few of hers as well. She was holding back less and less as she fought with her and Amethyst kept steadily rising to the challenge. It was inspiring how she adapted so quickly and so well. Jasper was thankful for the chance to help her hone her unique skills and she herself was getting stronger and faster as a result. Sparring with a worthy opponent was the best way to keep herself in peak form. The last two fights against the mutation and corrupted gem had gone badly. She had to get stronger. Maybe she could ask Garnet to spar with her sometimes too. Something told her she would regret it if she asked Pearl.

"Hey, Jasper." A familiar voice said from behind her.

See looked over her shoulder to see Steven standing there. "Hey."

He smiled and came to sit beside her. "Nice night, huh?"

She looked up at the stars. They glistened like jewels in the spaces between the towering fluffy clouds. The moon was almost full, bathing the sand and their skin silver. "It is." She had a feeling he had come to speak to her about something more important than the weather. "Is something wrong?" She asked him.

He looked at her and nodded, face suddenly serious. "I heard about what happened with Peridot."

"About her plan?"

"I heard you were against it."

She pursed her lips. "That's putting it lightly." She looked back over at him. "Why? Do you think it's an option?"

Steven shook his head. "No. It isn't. But she did have a point that we really don't have a plan. If Garnet can't find anything, I don't know what we should do." He sounded depressed.

Jasper didn't like to see him look so down. "We do what we can, when we can. A warrior knows when to be patient and when to strike. We don't have to torture gems to get what we need. The next time it happens, we can collect more data then. There's no sense making more trouble for ourselves, when we can wait for the next strike."

Steven smiled hugely at her. "You're right."

She lifted her chin cockily. "I know."

He laughed, then sobered. "I need to talk to Peridot. I wish I knew how to help her. I haven't even really been able to talk to Lapis with everything going on. Pearl doesn't see the point in going to see her, Amethyst kind of resents her right now, Garnet is busy, and she and Peridot are mad at each other. I feel so bad for Lapis. She's all alone now."

Jasper felt a pang in her heart. Lapis _was_ alone now. She was in a position just like she herself was before meeting Steven. She hadn't really made the connection before and felt a little stupid because of it. _But_ , maybe Lapis was better off that way. Maybe that was how she healed. She could have easily come back here, Peridot or no Peridot. She could have come here and forced Jasper to find somewhere else to stay; Jasper had no illusions that she would have been able to come back at all if Lapis had been here, but that painful thought didn't matter at the moment.

"Maybe..." She started tentatively, staring at the sand. "Maybe she needs time to herself to think about things." She said quietly.

Steven sighed. "Maybe. Maybe I'm being selfish wanting to talk to her."

Jasper jerked her head up to look at him. He shouldn't feel bad for wanting to check on a friend. Even if she was still new to friendship, she knew that Steven always wanted what was right. "You aren't being selfish. You're worried about her. That's different." She said earnestly.

Steven looked over at her, smiling softly. "Look who's good at being friends now."

Jasper felt her face grow hot and she squirmed in embarrassment. She looked away, letting her hair fall over her shoulder to hide her face. But even though she felt embarrassed, she was pleased too. "I still don't get all of it." She admitted.

Steven laughed. "There's nothing to get. It's just something you do."

She thought about what he had said. She didn't think she was doing anything special. He was a good person and she wasn't sure she was one yet. She didn't always know what to say or how to act, but if Steven said she was doing good, then she had to trust him, didn't she?

"I had a good teacher, I guess." She mumbled, embarrassed at having said it out loud.

"Aw, Jasper!" He cooed in a sickly sweet tone.

She grimaced. She _hated_ that tone of voice and knew he knew it. "Hush."

"I won't tease you." He promised, though there was laughter in his tone.

She turned to glare at him. "You'll regret it if you do." She mock threatened. His huge grin made her want to smile in response and the corner of her mouth twitched as she tried to hold onto her glare. But it seemed even fake anger could never stand up to Steven's winning personality, because when his grin widened, she couldn't help but to respond. "You are impossible." She said gruffly, trying not to laugh.

He chuckled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You would." She quipped back.

His phone began to play music in his pocket and he fished it out. He smiled harder when he saw Connie's picture on the screen. "One sec." He tapped the screen and put it to his ear. "Hey, Connie." He paused. "Just sitting here on the beach talking to Jasper." He paused again. "Yeah, she's okay. Just enjoying the nice weather." He paused and then laughed. He pulled the phone slightly away from his ear and looked over at the warrior gem. "She says to tell you not to let my laziness rub off on you."

Jasper snorted. Steven was anything but lazy. He was always jumping from one activity or problem to the next, but she knew that Connie had most likely been joking and played along. "Too late. Between you and Amethyst, I had no chance. Nowadays, only my glutes get a workout."

Steven burst out laughing and she could hear Connie laughing faintly through the device. " She says, 'Oh, how the mighty have fallen!'." He said, still laughing. They laughed together for a few more moments. "I'm glad you called." He said into the phone, his voice tender. "Sleep tight." He pulled the phone away from his ear and tapped the screen again. He stared at the phone for a few moments, his expression soft, before putting it back in his pocket.

His eyes held something she didn't recognize as he sighed and looked out over the moonlit sea. "Life is good sometimes." He said quietly.

She smiled and looked out with him. "It is."

They sat in silence for long moment before Steven stood. "I'm gonna go get something to eat. Wanna come?" He asked.

She hesitated a moment before shaking her head. "I'll stay here. I'll come back to the house in a bit." She promised.

He smiled at her. "No rush. Enjoy the night. See you in a bit." He waved and she returned it. She expected him to start towards the house, but instead he began walking along the beach towards the small city. "Where are you going?" She asked him.

"To The Big Doughnut. And maybe to the Fries. I'm feeling some greasy goodness coming on."

Jasper was confused, but stood to follow him. If he wasn't going inside, then he shouldn't be alone. He grinned at her when she caught up to him with a few long strides. "I changed my mind."

"Okay." There was a knowing look in his eyes, but he didn't comment.

They walked in silence to the stairs that led up from the beach. Steven steered them towards a building with a large, round object on it. It looked like one of the things he had eaten the night she had reformed. A human male was inside, wiping down a glass counter with a cloth. He looked up with a big smile when Steven stepped through the door, then his jaw dropped and his eyes widened with shock when Jasper ducked through behind him.

The man collected himself quickly, though his eyes were still a little bit too wide as he gave them a careful smile. "Steven! Nice to see you! It's been awhile."

Steven smiled at the man. "Hi, Mr. Dewey! I've just been busy with gem stuff. You know, the usual."

The man forced a laugh, still staring at Jasper. "And your... friend?"

"Oh, this is Jasper. Jasper, this is Mr. Dewey. He used to be the mayor, but now he makes the donuts around here."

"Best dounuts in all of Beach City!" He said automatically.

Jasper nodded at him. "Steven likes them a lot." She said politely, not knowing what else to say.

Dewey's eyes flashed and he gave Steven a true smile. "Glad to know my favorite customer is also my best advertisement. A nice, neat, cost efficient solution. How about 10% off your next order?"

Steven laughed. "Sounds good. Can I get two Chocolate Dewey's and a Cream Dewey please?"

Dewey turned and pulled a few doughnuts from the storage case behind him with tongs, depositing them into a white paper sack. "Anything for your friend? Half off for your first Deweynut!" He smiled hugely.

Jasper wasn't quite sure how to respond. He seemed to almost be speaking another language. Steven looked up at her, eyes shining with delight. "Go on, Jasper. Pick one. I'll pay for it."

Jasper blinked at him. "Um... okay." She didn't really want one, but couldn't think of a polite way to decline. "Which one should I get?"

Dewey immediately slapped down a paper onto the counter. The triumphant glint in his eyes told her that she'd walked into some sort of trap, but she didn't know what kind. "I have a list here of all of our products. Please, feel free to take your time choosing." He offered. "Though, I _could_ offer a few recommendations if you'd like?"

His tone was far too happy for her liking, but he was being nice and Steven seemed to be very amused, so she took the bait. "Okay."

"Excellent! Now, here are our specials. This Triple Twist Dewey is our newest item and will only be available for a short time. It's a little more expensive, but for a first time customer, it's a must have experience." Before she could reply, he continued with a flourish. " _And_ I just so happen to be running another special right now that will let you walk away with not only one, but _two_ of these must have confections with the purchase of one of our one- one-of-a-kind Gummy Dewey's! You won't find those anywhere else!"

"Um..." She was so confused she couldn't even think of a coherent response.

He pointed at her, smirking. "Tough customer, I see. Well, I suppose I could also throw in one of our Strawberry Glazed Dewynuts for 10% off. They were freshly baked this morning! And I'm only offering because Steven is _such_ a good customer." His tone was cajoling and she knew she was being played, but again, she felt backed into a corner.

If she said no, would this man be mad at Steven? All she could think of to do was go along with it so that they could leave. She wanted away from this man; whatever it took. "That's what I'll do then?" She said, trying to force a smile.

Dewey grinned, lifting his chin triumphantly. "Excellent! Let me just get your order ready." He turned back from the case and dropped a few more items into the bag, before setting it onto the counter. Then he reached below him and produced a slightly greasy looking bag from beneath the counter. "Take these regular glazed too! On the house!" He smiled again. He pressed a few buttons on a machine in front of him. "That'll be $31.19!"

Steven, who seemed to be valiantly holding back laughter, stepped up to the counter and handed Dewey a few slips of green paper. The man took them and handed him back a few tiny metal discs of different sizes. "Thanks, Mr. Dewey. See you next time." Amusement colored his tone. He picked up one of the bags and Jasper automatically picked up the other as they turned to leave.

"Always a pleasure, Steven. See you next time, Jasper." The slightly sleazy smile he gave her as they left made her skin crawl.

As soon as the door shut, she turned to him. "I don't like that man." She grumbled.

Steven burst out laughing. "That was amazing. You made his night."

Jasper scowled. "You knew that would happen, didn't you?"

Steven looked up at her through his lashes in what she assumed was meant to be an innocent way, but the mischievous glint in his eyes belied the gesture. "Maybe."

Jasper grunted. "Remind me to punch you later." She growled.

He laughed again. "I'll make sure not to."

She growled noncommittally, but his laughter was catching and she felt herself smile, despite still feeling very foolish. That human had had her _completely_ at his mercy and she still had no idea what exactly had happened, but at least Steven had gotten a laugh out of it. That was something, right?

"Well, we have your items. What now?"

"Now, we eat!" He reached into the bag and handed her one of them. She took it automatically. It was soft and sticky, though it had a pleasant odor. He reached into the bag and pulled out another, of a different shape and size than hers and took a big bite. He made a happy noise under his breath. "Donuts are so good." He finished it with a few more large bites, then sighed happily. "I was _so_ hungry." Jasper tried to hand him back the one she held, but he shook his head. "That one's yours. Try it."

Jasper looked down at the donut in her hand. It did not look appetizing at all, but then, she still didn't understand the importance of eating. "Why do you eat this stuff? Why eat at all?" She asked.

He smiled. "Humans have to eat. Our bodies use food as fuel to do things. I know gems don't really have to, but Amethyst does and even Garnet sometimes. Pearl and Peridot don't like to, and I'm not really sure about Lapis, but you might."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, trying to let her expression show how unlikely she thought that was, but he only laughed and gestured at the donut. The thought of putting it in her mouth turned her stomach slightly, but she obediently took a bite of it, thought it was small enough that she could have eaten it completely in just one. She was surprised by it's almost overwhelmingly sweet flavor, and the texture was more pleasing on her tongue than she'd thought it would be. She chewed slowly, actually enjoying the taste, but when the time came to swallow, she almost gagged. It felt very, very strange to feel it sliding down her throat. She could feel it come to rest in her stomach and the strange sensation was just this side of uncomfortable. The chewing wasn't a problem, but she didn't want to swallow anything else. The sweet flavor clung to her taste buds, only heightening the strange sensation in her gut. She couldn't help but to grimace.

"You didn't like it?" He asked.

She shook her head. "It tastes good, but... it feels weird to swallow it. I don't think I like it." That was putting it mildly, but she was trying to be polite.

Steven smiled at her. "At least you know what a donut tastes like now."

"That's true." She replied, though she could have probably gone all of her existence without eating one and been okay with that.

"Well, I can't eat all of these alone. Why don't we go visit one of my friends and see if she wants any?"

"Okay." Jasper followed him when he started walking, but inwardly was wishing he'd wanted to go home. If these 'friends' were anything like Mr. Dewey, she wanted no part in it.

They walked a short ways until he stopped in front of another building. A machine covered in pictures of pizza was sitting outside. "Alright! The whole band is here! C'mon, Jasper! This'll be fun!" Steven said excitedly, running up to the door.

He pushed a button and she heard a dinging sound play inside the house. "Coming!" A female voice called a few moments later. The door opened and a short, blonde human stepped into view. "Steven!" She cried happily. "Perfect timing! I was just about to call you. I think I've got our next big hit!" She gushed.

Steven let out a happy cheer. "Awesome!" He turned to look at Jasper. "Hope you don't mind that I brought a friend?"

The girl looked up at Jasper as she stepped closer and her jaw dropped, before she smiled hugely. "The more the merrier. Hi, I'm Sadie." She greeted, holding out her hand.

Jasper took it and shook it, trying not to let the huge size difference in their hands make it awkward. "Jasper."

"C'mon in and make yourselves at home. Jenny brought pizza."

"And I brought donuts!" He smiled, following her inside.

"Nice!"

Jasper ducked through after them and Sadie closed the door behind them and walked towards a set of steps. Jasper could hear voices raised in laughter. "Guys!" She called as she started down. "Guess who showed up?"

"Steven!" They all cheered as he walked down after her.

Jasper hesitated at the top of the steps. She absolutely did not want to go down them. They were small and led underground. The house was already too small for her, and she didn't imagine it would be different down there. It would only be more difficult to escape if something went wrong. One tiny exit was easily enough blocked. What if they became trapped down there?

Her heart was pounding as she remembered the awful feeling of waking up buried alive under tons of stone and dirt. No light, no air. Completely helpless and alone. Digging, clawing madly at the rock, tearing her fingers and not even knowing if she was digging the right way. Unable to think of anything but escaping the horrible, squeezing, smothering darkness.

"Jasper?" Steven's voice seemed to come from far away. "Jasper! What's wrong?"

He was suddenly in front of her, but he seemed fuzzy, as if her eyes weren't working quite right. She couldn't breath; couldn't speak, and she hated herself for being unable to control this horrible fear in front of the person she had sworn to protect. She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to look at him as a wave of dizziness passed through her.

"Is she okay?" Sadie's voice drifted up from the bottom of the steps.

Jasper was mortified and frantically willed her mind to accept that she was here and not still buried. "I'm fine." She finally managed to croak. Her throat and mouth felt dry and rough. She coughed.

"What happened?" He asked her softly as her breathing began to return to something resembling normal.

She shook her head. "It's nothing."

Steven frowned. "That wasn't nothing. Tell me." He demanded.

Jasper grimaced at his tone. "The thought of going down there reminded me of something I'd rather forget." She admitted, feeling stupid and weak.

He looked at her, still frowning. She could tell he wasn't happy with her partial answer, but couldn't bring herself to say more. "You can go if you need to Jasper." He told her. "I'm safe here."

Her heart dropped. He had seen her weakness and was sending her away. "No! I can stay! I can get past it! I promise!" She felt pathetic, but she couldn't stand the thought of him sending her away. She'd never be able to face Garnet and Pearl ever again if she left him here without protection over something as silly and abstract as a memory. "I can do it!" She promised.

There was a look in Steven's eyes that confused her. Pain and worry, but there was something else too that she couldn't identify. "It's okay, Jasper." He put a hand on her arm. "No one is going to think less of you if you don't come down."

She looked away, feeling her heart tearing just a little. Were those words true? Would he really think no less of her if she gave in to this fear? He wouldn't, she realized as she calmed further. Steven was not the kind of person to use her show of weakness against her, but if she gave in now, in a safe place, what would happen later, when she couldn't afford to give in? "I will." She admitted to him.

"Oh, Jasper." His voice sounded infinitely sad.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Sadie said, and Jasper looked over to see her standing on the top step. "Jenny says we can all fit in her car if we squeeze. We can go somewhere else if you guys want."

Jasper felt shame wash over her. "No. No, I don't want to change your plans because of me. I'll come down." She said firmly.

Sadie looked at her and Jasper got the feeling that there was more to this human girl than she could see as Sadie stared into her eyes. A wistful look crossed her face, before she smiled. The smile was sad and Jasper got the feeling it wasn't actually directed at her, before Sadie looked at Steven for a moment. He returned the strange, sad smile. Jasper wasn't quite sure what had happened, but she suddenly knew that Sadie understood her secret pain without her having to say a word.

She looked back up at Jasper. "Okay. Take your time. We'll be here when you get ready." She said softly, before walking back down the steps.

Jasper took a deep breath. Her heart felt heavy, but in a different way. Sadie was as different from her as she could be, and yet, in a few moments she had rocked Jasper to her core. Somehow, knowing that Steven would not think less of her and that Sadie understood, made her fear of going down those steps seem so very small.

She looked at Steven and smiled happily. "I'm ready." She whispered.

His returning smile was full of pride, but there was still a hint of sadness in his eyes as he nodded. "Okay." He reached out for the bag she still held. She hadn't realized that she had nearly torn the thin paper by gripping it so tightly. She hoped she hadn't damaged it's contents while lost in her head. "I'll take these. You just bring you." He told her softly as he turned to descend the stairs once again.

She felt her heart skip a beat. He was letting her face her fear under her own terms and taking away her worry of anything but herself. It had been such a simple gesture, but it seemed huge to her. She looked down the stairs and let her fear wash over her, but knew it did not have the bite of before. She knew now that she could go down those steps and be fine. She lifted her chin and started down, heart pounding, but lighter than ever before.

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 **Thank you guys so much for continuing this journey with me! Read on and be safe! Until next time! Ja!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 17**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANKS FOR READING!**

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"Look out!" Steven cried.

Jasper dodged backwards and the corrupted gem's jagged teeth snapped together in the air where she had stood. She was mammalian in nature, like a large canine. Her fur was striped green and yellow, with patches of blue. Her octagonal gem took the place of her nose, which should have been an easy target, but her speed and the obvious power of her overlarge jaws made all of them wary of trying for it. The forest around them made fighting nearly impossible, so their only option was to keep the corrupted gem in this small clearing. None of them could maneuver properly and the canine had a distinct advantage in these close quarters.

She leaped after Jasper, who was doing her best to keep her away from Steven, with a snarl, but Amethyst's whip struck her from the air. She yelped as she struck the ground on her side. Pearl appeared above her, blade poised to stab. The corrupted gem rolled away at the last second and Pearl's weapon stabbed into the grassy ground. The corrupted gem regained her feet and sprang at her. Before the slender gem could react, her jaws closed around the pale gem's arm and Pearl screamed in pain.

"Pearl!" Several voices cried at once. Jasper made to come to her aid, but Garnet reached her first.

The fusion delivered a mighty punch to the top of the corrupted gem's head. She swayed, but did not release Pearl's arm. She shook her head, clamping down harder and Pearl's arm gave with a sickening crack. Pearl hit her knees with a shriek of agony. Garnet reached for the gem on the canine's nose and Jasper thought for a moment that the fight would be over, but the corrupted gem let go of Pearl's arm and her jaws closed on Garnet's hand too fast for the fusion to react. Garnet cried out as the corrupted gem drug her a few feet, but managed to reach for her gem with her other hand. It closed on the corruption's gem and she twisted it free. Blood gushed from her injured hand as the snarling gem poofed. Steven ran to her and took the mottled gemstone from her. He bubbled it and sent it away, before reaching for her hand.

"We're fine. See to Pearl first." She bit out.

Steven didn't argue, and turned immediately to rush to her. Pearl was still on her knees, tears squeezing from behind her tightly clenched eyelids as she cradled her savaged limb. Amethyst hovered beside her, steadying her as Steven spat on his hand. "I'm sorry if I hurt you." He said softly as he touched the wounds.

Pearl gasped at his touch, but visibly relaxed as his healing powers began their work. Her arm resumed it's normal shape, wounds fading in seconds. As soon as Pearl's wound faded entirely, he turned back to Garnet. She silently held out her hand and he did the same for her. Jasper never got used to seeing Steven's power work its wonders.

Peridot approached, looking guilty. Her movements were slow and awkward as the mechanisms she had built to gather data swung and clanked from their positions around her. "I _have_ to find a way to make these more portable. I can't help you like this. I'm sorry."

Pearl stood and looked down at her. "It's fine, Peridot. We need that data. Did you get anything?"

Peridot hung her head. "No. Nothing unusual."

Steven sighed and turned to Jasper. "Did you feel anything different this time?"

Jasper looked away. "I didn't feel anything abnormal either." She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"That's three now that we've taken out that haven't given us squat." Amethyst grumbled.

Garnet rubbed her forehead, teeth grinding together audibly. "Then we just need to find more."

"You still can't see them?" Pearl asked.

"Without knowing what factors are causing this spike in activity, there is no way for us to factor it in. There are a thousand probabilities, a thousand different factors, and hundreds of gems and fractions out there." She sounded pained and looked exhausted. "We'll keep trying."

"That's all any of can do, Garnet. Don't push yourself too hard. It'll happen when it happens." Steven said softly.

Garnet shook her head. "We can't keep putting everything at risk trying to draw out these fights waiting for a phenomena to happen. We've gotten lucky that no one has been permanently injured so far. When I think of all the ways things could go wrong against any of them..." She trailed off with a shudder.

"I'll refine my instruments. There has to be a way that I can widen their range and tweak their sensitivity. There has to be." Peridot grasped one of the swinging devices and peered at it.

"What if it's happening closer to where they were before they came out of hiding?" Jasper asked. "What if we are fighting them in the wrong places?"

Peridot looked up at her and Jasper could see worry in her eyes. Peridot had been much more sociable the past few days with all of them. The drive to find the source of this spike in activity was pushing them all to work harder and her inability to help them fight with her instruments was weighing on the green gem. She had been constantly apologizing and no matter how many reassurances she received from all of them, Jasper could see that she felt utterly useless; she knew the feeling well.

"Then we are taking an even bigger gamble." She shook her head and grasped another instrument, flipping open a panel on it back and peering into its workings. "If this is only happening in certain places, then we have an even smaller chance of finding the source. If there even is a source." Her voice was dark as she mumbled the last.

Jasper didn't know what to make of that, but Steven spoke before she could ask. "Well. We can't do any more here. Let's head home and rest."

Garnet shook her head. "We need to scout the area first, just in case."

Steven looked crestfallen for a moment and Jasper could see how tired the boy was, but he stood up straight and nodded. "You're right."

"Spread out, but stay within shouting distance." She ordered, before walking towards a nearby stand of trees.

The others did as they were told, setting off in different directions. Jasper looked around and saw a high outcropping of rock a short distance away. Heading for higher ground seemed to be the most logical option, so she set off at a steady jog. The sides were sheer, but the weathered rock was full of crags and indentations that made scaling it easy. She could have leapt most of the way, but there was something satisfying about climbing it by hand. The rough stone cut into her fingers and the sharp edges hurt her feet, but the exertion helped her burn off the last of the nervous energy from the fight. When she emerged on the summit, her head was once again clear.

She looked out over the landscape and the spectacular landscape stole her breath. Tall, slender trees and Ice-capped mountains and grassy, clearings full of wildflowers filled her vision. A mossy stone lined stream wound its way from the closest peaks and cut a line of crystal blue through the splendor. The clouds were a towering fluffy white and the sky was was a perfect, clear blue. The wind was biting, but the sun was bright and she took a deep breath of the woodsy air, delighting in the new scents here. It was far from any city and the air was clear of the odor of civilization. She could see how the corrupted gem from earlier had gone so long without detection. It was isolated and peaceful here, a perfect hiding place for a lost gem who didn't want to be found.

The call of a bird sounded and the sound of wind rushing over feathers made her look up. A purple hawk buzzed right over her head. She was startled for a moment, before seeing a familiar smirk as it peeled away. Jasper smiled. Amethyst had shifted into a large bird and was circling the forest. She hadn't been the only one to think of searching from above and Amethyst had a much better vantage point than she. She decided to descend and search from the ground. Rather than indulging in the slow climb down, she took a large leap to the forest floor. She wanted to explore more of this new place to see what new things there were to be seen, but she had a job to do. Instead of letting herself be distracted, she focused on trying to find something useful.

Hours later, she heard Amethyst cry her name. She looked up to see her fluttering to a stop on a limb above her head. "Anything?" The quartz asked.

Jasper frowned and shook her head. "Nothing."

Amethyst gave a heavy sigh, wings drooping. "Same. Garnet's calling it. You should head back to the warp. The others are on their way. I'm going to go keep Steven company."

"Is he alright?" Jasper asked worriedly.

Amethyst shrugged. "It's Steven. He'll make it." She said with confidence. A smirking purple hawk should have looked odd, but for some reason it didn't. "Anyway. I'll see you there." She called as she took off with a strong beat of her wings.

Jasper nodded and looked up to the late afternoon sky to get her bearings. She turned in the direction of the warp and started to jog. Now that she had finished her task, she allowed herself to truly enjoy the sights as she returned. She had gone _much_ farther than shouting distance, but on a whim decided it wouldn't hurt to take a more scenic route back. She ran to a sheer cliff and quickly scaled it's craggy side, once again delighting in the exertion. When she reached the top, she looked out over the forest. It was even more spectacular now than it had been earlier.

The sun was just beginning to set behind the distant mountains and the towering clouds glowed, bathed a deep gold and orange. The glistening peaks sparkled dazzlingly and the large stream glistened like a liquid jewel, catching those oranges and golds so that they almost looked like they were on fire. She couldn't look away for a few long moments, watching the sky bleed with purples and reds. The dark green trees looked almost black and the waters of the stream darkened. The glistening peaks faded slightly as the sun set further, but the sky made up for it with another kind of radiance. She committed the gorgeous sight to her memory, before reluctantly beginning to jog along the the cliff towards the warp pad. The others would be waiting and Steven would no doubt be tired and hungry. She felt a little guilty for her indulgence and picked up her pace. She leapt from the cliff when it turned sharply, propelling herself forward, aiming for a small opening in the trees a short distance away. Sailing over the treetops felt oddly like flying. She reveled in the feel of the wind whipping over her skin and the momentary weightlessness she felt at the height of her leap, before her body began to fall. A feeling of regret settled over her as she angled herself to land on the mossy forest floor. Amethyst was a lucky gem, she thought as she started to jog through the trees. Jasper had never had an affinity for shape shifting, so she was mostly restricted to this form. Amethyst was so fluid about shifting. She seemed to show almost none of the strain from maintaining a form for long periods of time. She could take on forms of all shapes and sizes as well. Taking on a form the same size or bit smaller was less stressful than changing into very tiny or very large ones, but Amethyst had just spent half a day as a hawk much smaller than herself and had seemed perfectly fine.

Jasper had a sudden thought. Maybe that was why Amethyst ate. Shifting like she did had to burn a lot of energy and Steven did say that food was fuel. Maybe eating human food like she did gave her the energy she needed to accomplish it. It was an interesting thought. Maybe if she learned to eat like Amethyst, she would have the energy to do more too, but just the thought of swallowing more food than the bite of donut she'd managed made her feel more than slightly nauseous. No. Eating was not an option for her. Maybe someday, but definitely not anytime soon.

The forest hummed around her, brimming with life that she had tried to ignore earlier outside of assessing threats. Now, she allowed herself to see it all and appreciate it. Birds called from the trees and tiny, furred creatures scampered along the canopy, leaping between them and covering impossible distances, clinging to branches that bowed and swayed under their weight. A herd of large, hooved creatures scattered among the trees as she ran, bounding with high leaps over the foliage and leaf matter. She saw a few smaller ones that had white speckles in the brown fur of their flanks and and a few larger ones had wide, arcing antlers with deadly-looking points. A small creature with reddish fur darted into a hollow beneath a tree. Long-eared, grey ones darted to and fro, hiding in bushes and burrows. One creature was huge and covered in thick brown fur. It had deadly looking claws and looked formidable, so she gave it a wide berth and kept her eyes peeled for more. Peridot had told her about many creatures, but not these. She would have to remember to ask Steven what they were called.

She was pondering over them as she finally reached the warp pad and saw the others all gathered around it. Steven was sitting on the ground, eyes drooping, and she felt guilty about having taken so long to return. He looked exhausted.

Garnet, however, smiled at her. "Did you have fun?" She asked.

Jasper blushed. Of course she would know why she had taken so long. "I didn't realize how far I'd gone." She said, embarrassed.

Garnet was still smiling as Steven stood. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He said with a tired smile. "Let's go home."

The others made sounds of agreement and they all stepped onto the pad. Garnet activated the warp and all of them were silent as they appeared back in the beach house. Steven yawned hugely.

"I'm not sure if I'm more hungry or sleepy." He said to no one in particular.

"Well I'm starved. Go sit down and I'll order some pizza." Amethyst offered, pulling out her phone.

Steven blinked at her gratefully. "Thanks." He murmured as he walked to the couch. He laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Pearl went to sit beside him and put an arm around him, letting him lean against her. He murmured sleepily and cuddled into her, wrapping an arm around her waist. She kissed his curls and petted them as he fell almost immediately to sleep. "Poor thing." She murmured.

Garnet walked to a small dresser and pulled a blanket from it. She covered him gently, smiling softly as he murmured in his sleep. "All tuckered out." She whispered.

Amethyst put her phone away. "Maybe I should wait on the pizza." She was smiling fondly at the sight.

Peridot sighed. "I just wish we'd gotten something to work with today." She said unhappily as she clumsily made her way to the bathroom.

Amethyst followed and put a hand to her shoulder before she opened the door. "We'll get it, Peri. We're all doing our best." She said softly.

Peridot looked up at Amethyst and Jasper saw a strange emotion she couldn't name in her eyes. It looked... sad? Scared? Maybe both and something else. She suddenly felt strangely like she was intruding, but didn't know why. She looked away.

"I guess you're right." Peridot's voice cracked. She cleared her throat. "I'm going to work on these instruments. I'll see you later." Her voice wavered.

Amethyst sighed. "Okay."

Jasper heard the door open and close and heard the muffled sounds of Pumpkin greeting her. Amethyst sighed again and Jasper glanced up as she moved towards the others. "When will he wake up?" She asked, gesturing at the softly snoring Steven.

Garnet looked up at her. "You can eat. He won't wake until morning."

Pearl frowned. "He should eat."

"He should rest." Garnet countered. "All of us should. The next disturbance could happen at any time and we need to be ready to move when it does." She looked away and her shoulders slumped. She seemed to grow smaller as Jasper watched, but a moment later the fusion shook her head and looked back up and the illusion passed. "We should take him to bed."

Pearl stroked his hair. "In a few minutes. I get to hold him less and less as he grows." Her voice was sad.

Garnet smiled ruefully at her. "Alright."

She got up and sat on the couch beside the slender gem. She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, careful not to jostle Steven. Pearl relaxed against her and Steven snuggled more firmly into the pale gem as she settled. Garnet smiled at him and then tilted her head back to rest on the couch with a sigh. A few moments later, Garnet's soft snores joined Steven's and Pearl's jaw was slack as her head drifted down onto the fusion's shoulder. All three were asleep. Jasper felt a strange, fuzzy feeling in her chest at the sight.

"Officially have sugar shock now." Amethyst whispered. She pulled out her phone again and pointed it at them. Jasper heard a soft click and then Amethyst looked at the screen and smiled. "Cutest. Background. Ever." She whispered, turning it so Jasper could see.

The tall warrior couldn't help but to smile. "We should leave them be." She whispered back.

Amethyst yawned. "Ima go take a nap."

Jasper nodded. "I'll go keep watch."

Amethyst frowned up at her. "You should rest too."

Jasper shrugged. She didn't really get sleeping. Staying still for too long was bad for her, but she didn't want to say that right now. "I'm not tired." She said instead. "Besides. I like watching the ocean at night. It's pretty."

Amethyst was still frowning, but shook her head. "Well, night then." She started walking towards the door.

"Night." Jasper replied. She headed outside, trying to make her footsteps as silent as possible.

She glanced back a the three sleepers on the couch and felt that fuzzy feeling fill her again. It was such a peaceful sight. She couldn't imagine ever feeling that at rest. She couldn't see herself in a picture like that, but seeing them was enough for her. She closed the door and looked out over the sea. The wide, dark expanse glistened in the moonlight. The clouds were sparse here, leaving the sky open for the sparkling stars. She breathed deeply, still feeling that fuzzy warmth inside her and felt a smile tug at her lips. She hoped it would be another peaceful night.

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 **Thank you guys so much for your continued support! I'm so glad everyone seems to be enjoying it so far. I love writing this and love to share it, so it's great to know you enjoy reading it. We have a long way to go, so stay tuned!**

 **Stay safe and read on! Until next time, loves! Ja!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 18**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I won't keep you! Read on, loves!**

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Jasper sat on the beach, watching as Steven and his friends played in the waves. She was smiling hugely as she watched them. Another storm had blown in the day after their fight with the corrupted gem and the rains had lasted the better part of three days. Steven had been so overjoyed to see a mostly clear sky that he had called them all and invited them to a beach party. Sadie, Buck, Jenny, Sour Cream, and Connie had all been happy to see him and even happier to spend some time doing nothing but enjoying the nice weather. Greg had pulled his van near the waters edge and was basking in the sun, tapping his fingers to the beat of the music that blared from the van's speakers. Stacks of pizza boxes and crusts surrounded him. Amethyst was sprawled not far away, her stomach distended as she blissfully patted her stomach. Pearl was gathering up the litter into a large black back with a frown. Peridot had come down for a few moments, but had soon returned to work on her instruments. She had let Pumpkin stay outside and the over-excited creature was running up and down the beach in front of the laughing young adults, wanting to play, but reluctant to put her leafy stumps in the salty water. Garnet had left on another recon mission and had told them all to have fun for her while she was gone. Jasper had offered to go with her, but the fusion had only smiled in her mysterious way and told her to enjoy herself at the party. Jasper tried not to think of the endless possibilities of things that she might have seen happen and instead was doing as she had been told.

Lion suddenly appeared and ran at Steven across the water, bowling the surprised boy over in an affectionate greeting. It was surreal to see him standing on top of the water as Steven fell beneath the shallow waves. Lion pawed at where he had disappeared and Jasper laughed as Steven surfaced behind the pink creature and splashed him, causing the large beast to skirt forward awkwardly as he tried vainly not to get wet. The others' laughter joined hers as Lion pounced back at Steven, who ducked underneath the surface just in time. He surfaced again in a different place and taunted Lion, who pounced again. The hilarious sight was repeated a few times, before Lion ran away, bouncing playfully from the water to come to her. She reached out to pet him as he collapsed, panting, at her side. Part of her brain was still alert for trouble and she occasionally glanced around and scanned the sea for approaching threats, but nothing seemed out of place. All was peaceful and happy.

Eventually, the young adults grew tired of the water and trickled back onto the beach. Connie retrieved a beach ball from Greg's van and they started an impromptu game where they hit the ball to each other over an invisible wall of some sort. Jasper watched them in amusement, laughing as they razzed each other playfully. She sighed and looked back out over the sea. Her life was strange now. If anyone had told her before that life could ever be like this, she'd have thought they were mad. Now, she thought she was mad for not having seen it before. Regret filed her and she sighed. Her life could have been so much different. And yet, her skills as a warrior were invaluable here. She could use every ounce of her power to do the right thing now, instead of the wrong one. In light of that, her past seemed to grow ever smaller. But, then again, if she had wised up sooner then one of the Crystal Gems wouldn't be missing from this happy gathering. _Lapis_ , she thought with another sigh.

Steven had gone to visit her a few days before. He'd gone alone and had returned looking heartbroken. Jasper hadn't had the courage to ask outright, but Steven had talked about her to all of them. He'd invited her, but she hadn't shown. He had said that Lapis looked sad and that the barn seemed... empty. Like she hadn't been spending much time there at all. Peridot had looked as if she wanted to go to her, but instead had just gone back into the bathroom. Apparently, that was why the short gem hadn't stayed herself. The barn was too full of memories for either of them, but Lapis had insisted on staying and the warrior gem knew why, even if no one said it. Lapis stayed away, because she was here. It hurt knowing that Lapis was alone because Jasper had no other place to go and that hydrokinetic gem could not stand to be around her. There _had_ to be some way to fix this, but _how_?

"Whatcha thinking about?" Steven's voice came from beside her. She looked up as he sat on the other side of the snoozing Lion.

She shook her head. "Nothing." She didn't want to ruin the happy day with her negative thoughts.

Steven frowned and Jasper's heart sank. She should have known he wouldn't let her get away with that answer. "That's not a 'nothing' face."

"I didn't know 'nothing' had an expression." She joked, trying to deflect the statement. He smiled, but his eyes were still serious. She sighed and looked away. "It's really not important. You don't need to worry about it. Not today anyway. Your friends are here."

"And I'm asking one of them what's wrong."

Jasper felt herself blush in embarrassment. The word friend was still something she found difficult to use on herself. "You see me every day. You don't get to spend as much time with them." She huffed.

He laughed softly. "That's the wonderful thing about friends. Doesn't matter how much time you spend with them. They're always there. And I know they would understand me checking in on another friend who has a problem. Just like you would understand it if I did it for them."

Jasper had to concede the point. "Still. It's not important."

"Seems important enough to me."

She sighed. He wasn't going to let it go. "Fine. I was thinking about Lapis again."

"What about her?" He asked.

"She isn't here. And we both know why."

"Why?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused.

She glared at him in exasperation. "Don't play coy, little Rose."

He blinked at her. "No. Seriously. Why do you think she's not here?"

Jasper sighed again and ran her fingers through her hair. "Because I'm here."

"Oh, Jasper." He sounded sad. "That's not why. Lapis... She just has a lot going on right now." Jasper snorted. "Honestly. We didn't even talk about you. I told her you were better and that was it." The warrior gem wanted so badly to ask what Lapis' response had been, but she bit her tongue. If it had been a good response, he would have said so. "She didn't want to come because she says she's not ready for a party yet. She said she still needs time to think. She didn't even ask me when I'd come back." His voice cracked on the last.

Jasper glanced over to see him fighting tears. Her heart wrenched in her chest. "This is why I didn't want to talk about it." She said gently.

He sent her a watery smile. "We should talk about things that hurt us. That's the only way we heal."

Jasper looked away. Some things were better left unsaid. Some hurts were too deep to heal. Some things you simply had to endure. She had more than enough experience in that.

"Hey, Steven! Jasper! Wanna hot dog?" Greg called.

They looked over to see he had drug out a metal cooking device and was lying pieces of meat on metal shelves over a fire within it. Steven smiled hugely. "You bet!" He looked at Jasper.

Jasper tried not to shudder at the thought of putting one of those unappetizing looking things in her mouth. "I'll pass."

"You're missing out! These are premium hot dogs! Got em on sale." Greg said proudly.

Pearl made a small gagging sound that voiced Jasper's inner thoughts perfectly. "I might try one later." She hedged.

Steven chuckled and stood. "I'll help, Dad."

Greg grinned affectionately. "Thanks, sport. We have quite the crowd."

Steven smiled happily around at them all. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jasper silently agreed. She actually enjoyed watching all of their diverse interactions, even if she didn't understand all of them. She was sure that she would continue to learn and looked forward to the experience.

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Later that night, Steven was saying goodbye to his friends as the stars winked into view. Jasper was carrying a container of leftovers into the house for Steven to eat later and was still feeling very content. That is, until she heard Peridot say her name in a less than friendly manner. She paused before opening the door and stepped back out of sight. Eavesdropping was wrong, but seeing as how she was obviously the subject made it slightly less so. She wanted to know what the others had to say about her.

"It's _Jasper_!" The ferrokinetic gem was saying. "I know she's changing, but how much of this is real and how much of it is an act? No one changes that quickly." Jasper had to fight back a growl as her ire rose. Peridot was _still_ on about that?

"She wants to be a good person now, Peri." Amethyst said indignantly. "She's trying! Give her some credit!" Jasper smiled at the enthusiastic defense.

"Of _course_ , she's _trying_ , but what if she's just trying to get us to let our guard down? You thought the same thing at first."

Amethyst tsked. "Yeah. At first, but I've talked to her about it since then. We've all spent time with her."

"Well, I haven't." Pearl's tone was scornful. "She still makes me highly uncomfortable sometimes." Jasper felt her heart sink. She had thought Pearl liked her more by now. She was surprised how hurt she was to find out she had been wrong.

" _Everything_ makes you uncomfortable, Pearl." Amethyst groaned.

"My _point_ is-" Peridot cut back in. "We haven't gotten any data to support her theory about the corruptions. Not one shred of solid evidence. What if she's leading us on a wild goose chase?"

"And why exactly would she do that?" Garnet's tone was scathing. So she had returned in time for this secret little meeting, Jasper thought spitefully. Of course, she had.

"To wear us all down!" Peridot nearly yelled. "Every time she fights with us, she's learning our strategies and weaknesses!"

"And how else is she supposed to coordinate with us in battle unless she knows those things?" Garnet asked in an exasperated tone. Jasper was happy to see that the fusion seemed to be on her side. "We _all_ know and knowledge each other's strengths and strategies and are able to defend each other's weaknesses. It's part of being a team."

"We still have no evidence to support her theory, though! How do we know she's telling the truth?" Peridot continued, undeterred.

"Steven collaborated her story." Garnet said firmly.

"Steven may not truly realize what he saw." The green gem's voice was firm.

"What are you saying?" Amethyst asked angrily.

"What if Jasper is the reason that mutation lost control?" Peridot said darkly. Jasper's heart stopped and she felt a bolt of shock cut through her system. _What?_

"What?" Amethyst and Garnet asked together, echoing her thoughts.

"Think about it." Peridot's tone was smug. "Things were a lot more peaceful before she reformed. Ever since she's been with us, more and more mutations and corruptions have come out of hiding." Jasper felt a sense of dread was over her. Was that true?

"That's just a coincidence." Amethyst said, but Jasper's heart skipped a beat as she heard uncertainty in her tone.

"Is it though?" Peridot continued, sounding even more pretentious. "All of the mutations and corruptions she held prisoner escaped. They fled out into the world after they were released. Even the one she fused with." She said the word 'fused' in a disgusted tone. "She'd tortured them and kept them against their will. You know she had to have had a lasting impact on their minds and behaviors. You all keep telling me they're intelligent enough to be a serious threat. What if they are intelligent enough to share knowledge in some form or fashion? What if they want revenge?" Jasper's heart was pounding as her fear and dread mounted. Was Peridot right?

"Preposterous!" Pearl snapped. "They don't have enough cognitive reasoning left for that sort of thinking!"

"Maybe not for anything elaborate, but they have shown evidence of being able to retain memories. The more traumatic and confusing, the stronger. All they'd have to do is remember her face and voice. They're intelligent enough for that." Peridot said insistently.

"If you have a point to make, just make it." Amethyst growled.

"The _point_ is that Jasper could be the root of the problem!" She cried. "She could be putting all of us, Steven definitely included, in danger with her mere presence! And what if she's doing it on purpose!?"

"Again, why would she do that?" Garnet asked.

"Because she's _Jasper_!" Peridot almost yelled. "You have _no_ idea what she's capable of! What she's done! No gem has ever been more dangerous and ruthless than she was! She _never_ failed when she was sent on a mission. _Never_! And yet, as soon as we got here, she _failed_! Failed so spectacularly that she almost took us all down with her! And then what she did to Lapis..." She trailed off and Jasper felt her heart twist painfully in her chest. Peridot was right about that one at least. No one spoke, so she continued. "What if she did it on purpose? What if she was really just trying to get on our good side so she let us win?" Jasper was astounded at the words coming out of Peridot's mouth. How could she ever accuse her of that? After everything!

"She let herself get corrupted to get on out good side?" Amethyst asked scornfully.

"How else was she able to shake it off like she did?" Peridot asked with an air of triumph, as if she had just stated her winning argument. "You've told me that no other gem has ever come back from being corrupted. Not even that Centipeedle. She reverted almost entirely back into her corrupted form not long after Steven tried to heal her, didn't she? And he tried multiple times!"

"I still thought that was a bad idea. She was _extremely_ dangerous, even when she was in the lesser stages of corruption." Pearl said quietly.

"And yet Jasper comes back without a mark." Peridot stated.

"Are you done?" Amethyst snapped.

"Oh, come on, Amethyst!" Peridot said exasperatedly. "How else could she have come back if the Diamonds hadn't given her some sort of fail safe? She was one of Yellow Diamond's top warriors and the Diamonds themselves caused the corruption here!"

Jasper was stunned. The _Diamonds_ had caused the corruption? Earth was not the source of it? Why would the Diamonds corrupt the gems here? But then she knew. No one defied the Diamonds without discipline. _That_ was the true reason they'd abandoned Earth. They must have thought that all of the Crystal Gems had been corrupted too and didn't want to risk the taint getting into their own workers. They had left Earth to be ransacked by mindlessly terrified and broken gems until the Cluster took form and blew it all into oblivion. That is why they had only checked in to see if the Cluster was developing properly at first. They had taken all of them for dead, until Peridot's drones had started disappearing. Then Lapis had appeared and reawakened a millennia old war by showing up with no trace of corruption. If Lapis Lazuli had survived untainted, then the Crystal Gems and Rose Quartz might have survived as well. As long as there was a possibility that their justice had been thwarted, it undermined the perfect rule of the Diamonds and that simply could not be. Peridot's interrogation of the hydrokinetic gem had only confirmed their fears and so they had sent Jasper, their prized war-dog, to finish the job. And If the Cluster formed while they were there? Just another few anomalies to be rid of.

It was all so clear now. The diabolical pettiness of the gems she had blindly followed to this fate. How could she have ever been so foolish as to trust in their warped system of judgment and destruction? Her heart pounded and she felt shame wash over her. She had killed legions of lifeforms for a purely evil cause and had never even given thought to it until she was broken. And now, all of her past crimes were coming back to haunt her. How could the crystal Gems possibly truly trust her in light of everything? She would fail at this too. They would never trust her completely. How could they? Still, a tiny, painful spark of hope that she might have won at least a continued chance to prove herself worthy of the redemption she was seeking with the only gems in the universe that mattered now.

"Why would she go that far to take us out, Peri? Why would she wait this long? If she was going to turn against us, she's had plenty of opportunities to do it. She's been alone with all of us, including Steven. She's seen us all at our weakest. She's gotten injured protecting us. Protecting Steven. Protecting Earth!" Jasper felt tears gather in her eyes at Amethyst's vehement defense of her.

Peridot scoffed. "She's done things similar to this before. Subterfuge is another of her strengths. She'd serve and protect high ranking gems suspected of going against the word of the Diamonds, only to turn over everything she'd learned of their inner workings. She'd be undercover sometimes for many Earth months. She's been sent to remote planets and colonies with those same intentions time and time again. What if this is the same thing? I was sent here for punishment. I wouldn't have had the clearance to find out, even if I had thought of it before we got here." Jasper felt like ice had taken root in her heart and it was quickly spreading throughout her body. Peridot was revealing yet another of the crimes she had committed that she hated to acknowledge. How many gems had she seen punished for petty things after her reports? How could she ever have watched in glee as innocent gems received judgment for insignificant and meaningless transgressions in a flawed system? It made her sick to think about it.

"This is _beyond_ convoluted." Amethyst groaned. "It sounds like those conspiracy theories Ronaldo comes up with." Jasper had no idea what Amethyst was saying, but her heart fluttered slightly to hear Amethyst was still at least partially on her side.

"It all makes sense! I can't state it any more clearly. How can you _not_ see what I'm talking about?" Peridot snapped.

"Because there is nothing to see!" Garnet growled. "You're fishing at straws."

"It.. does make a twisted sort of sense though." Pearl said tentatively. Jasper's tiny spark of hope began to fade.

"How?" Amethyst asked incredulously.

"Because it _is_ a viable theory." Pearl stated, tone confident. "I actually wouldn't be surprised to find out that it was true. You can't put _anything_ past the Diamonds. Homeworld would stoop to any lengths to see Earth and all of us destroyed. You know that."

"No, I don't think I do _know_ that! It sounds crazy!" Amethyst replied in a near yell.

"Fine." Peridot said firmly. "Garnet. If you can honestly tell me that there is no chance that Jasper will ever turn against us, I'll drop this subject and never bring it back up again." Peridot's tone was ambiguous. Jasper could not believe what Peridot was asking. She was asking Garnet to search the _future_ for trusting her now? She felt confused and afraid and angry all at once.

"You want me to search the future for an event that may never come to pass to win an argument?" Garnet's voice was full of anger and disgust.

"We have to have some kind of assurance to go on that we aren't making a huge mistake by continuing to trust her."

"Which is the exact opposite of trust." Garnet spat.

Peridot hummed in annoyance. "I'd call giving her a chance at all a form of trust."

"It _would_ be easier if we had some form of guarantee." Pearl said dubiously.

"The future doesn't work in absolutes. _Everything_ is subject to change. Even the tiniest detail could cause fate to flow in a different direction. One word or choice or action could shape everything into an unforeseen chain of events. The future in this moment is different from the future even seconds from now. How can that be any form of guarantee?"

"Humor me." Peridot's tone was bored.

"Please." Pearl added.

Garnet sighed. "Give us a moment then."

"This is stupid." Amethyst grumbled, though her voice was slightly higher than usual.

All of them fell silent and Jasper dared not even breath as the weight of what was happening settled in her core. Everything- her past, present, and future- suddenly hung in the balance of whatever unforeseen events Garnet was seeing that led into impossible to guess futures. Was there a chance that the darkness within her would overtake her? Was there a chance that she could never run from her crimes? Was there a chance that she would forevermore be nothing but the evil that had shaped her for most of her life? Was the light she had begun to embrace enough to seal her chance at a better future? Until Garnet spoke, anything was possible.

Something made her look over and she was stunned to see Steven standing there. Hos eyes were wide with so many emotions they were painful to look at. How long had he been standing there? How much had he heard? From the look on his face, he had heard enough. Whose side would he really be on when her fate was spoken? Would he turn against her too? Had everything until now been a lie? Was there truly no chance at her ever truly being freed from her past? Her heart felt lie it was breaking and she looked away, unable to look him in the eyes any longer. Her own eyes filled with tears as her heart continued to pound painfully in her chest as she waited for Garnet to speak.

Finally, after a tortuously long time, the fusion gave a heavy sigh. "Well?" Peridot urged when the fusion didn't immediately speak.

"It's too uncertain. There are simply too many factors to consider." Garnet's voice was infinitely tired.

"So, that means there _is_ a chance that she could turn against us." Peridot spoke with a tone of finality.

Garnet gave another heavy sigh. "We have to accept that as a possible future, yes." Jasper's heart dropped to her feet. Her entire being was overwhelmed with a profound sense of sadness. She really was just a failure; a freak. All of this had been for nothing. She barely cared when Garnet continued, cut ting Peridot off. _"_ But. it is a small one. It is impossibly unlikely."

"But there _is_ still a chance!" Peridot sounded intensely happy to be proven right.

Jasper felt like her heart would tear itself out of her chest. Why did it hurt so much? Why did she care this much about the opinions of gems who so obviously cared nothing for her?

"This is ridiculous!" Amethyst's yelled. "This future crap is bogus and even Garnet said so! We can't judge her for something she may never do!"

Jasper couldn't even be happy at Amethyst's defense. The purple quartz was outnumbered. Te others were already against her.

"At the very least, you have to agree we need to keep a closer eye on her from now on." Pearl said quietly.

"So we just hound her constantly?! That would almost guarantee she goes off the deep end! Anyone would!" Amethyst snapped. Jasper's felt a new flash of pain. Even Amethyst had said it out loud now.

"Well, we can't just let her run amuck with no supervision! That would be worse!"

Garnet sighed. "Fine. We will keep a closer eye on her for a time. But do not think for a moment that I will sit idly by if you start treating her like a time bomb waiting to happen. We carry on as if nothing has changed."

"I don't like it. We'd be lying to her." Amethyst said sadly. "It would hurt her." Jasper felt her lips pull back in an ironic smile. It already had hurt her.

Peridot scoffed. "We can always apologize in the future if nothing happens." Her tone implied how unlikely she thought that scenario would be.

"Whatever." Amethyst's tone was dismissive. "Not like any of you are going to listen to me anyway. But, just for the record, when this blows up, I am _so_ holding an I-told-you-so convention."

"I'll attend wearing my best suit." Peridot's voice dripped with sarcasm.

There was a long moment of silence. "What do we do about it tonight? She'll be back with Steven any minute now."

Garnet sighed again. "We do nothing tonight. Give her one last night of peace before we invade her boundaries. I think you should all reflect on how you intend to keep her under scrutiny in the most noninvasive way possible. We can't restrict her. I don't want her to feel like a prisoner."

"And Steven can not find out about this. He'd be angry with all of us if he knew." Pearl said firmly.

"He should be angry at us! I'm angry at us." Amethyst snapped.

"I don't like it either, Amethyst, but we must put Steven and the protection of Earth before our own feelings. It's always been this way." Garnet's tone was soothing.

Amethyst sighed. "Well. It sucks and you know it." She was silent for a moment. "I'm going to bed." She said, tone bitter.

"We should all rest. Tomorrow, we have more work to do." Garnet said firmly.

Mumbles sounds of agreement could be heard as they all went back to their respected rooms. Jasper stood, still silent, long after the sounds had quieted. She felt painfully numb and cold to her core. It wasn't until Steven sobbed that she remembered he was there.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper." He sobbed quietly. "I'm so, so sorry."

Jasper hated that he was in pain because of her, yet again. She was turning them all against each other. Her presence was toxic in so any ways. The Crystal Gems were even stooping to lie to him, their most precious member, because of her.

"I can't stay here." She whispered. The words were out of her mouth before they'd even finished forming in her head.

Steven sobbed again, his expression full of pain and sadness. "I understand. You can go. I can't ask you stay after hearing all that." Jasper tried to give him a grateful smile, but it felt more like a grimace. "At least use the warp pad. You know almost all of the destinations. You can start from any of them."

Her heart twisted as he offered her a quick way out, even though she knew he was hurting and didn't want to see her go. He wouldn't have to hurt over her for much longer. She took a tiny bit of solace in the fact. Silently, she opened the door and he followed her inside. She marched straight for the warp pad without letting herself look around. One thing at a time. One step at a time. It was all she had to give in this moment. She felt like any sudden thought or movement would shatter her in that moment; she had never quite felt so fragile as she did when she looked down at the sad little boy standing there, looking up at her as she positioned herself on the warp.

"Just please know that I'm still here for you whenever you need me." He sobbed, tears running like waterfalls over his cheeks. "No matter what the others say, you are always welcome here, Jasper. Please remember that."

Jasper hadn't thought her heart could hurt much more than it already was; hadn't thought there was anything left to break. She had been wrong. Seeing Steven like this was breaking her in totally new ways. But she had to go. She had to. She knew it was cowardly to run, but she could not fathom being able to stay here with so much pain and mistrust. It would break her more completely than Lapis or the Diamonds ever had. How she knew was a mystery, but she knew and that was enough.

"Goodbye, Steven." She whispered, tears finally breaking the dam she had tried to erect against them.

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on a destination-any destination. For a moment, she thought of the Beta Kindergarten. Why not start there again? She pulled the sensations of heat from her sluggish mind, saw the curved and irregular walls glaring in the harsh and unforgiving desert sun. She could almost smell the baking rock and taste the dust on her tongue as she mentally willed the warp to activate. But, just as she did, her heart lurched and a strangely familiar, yet totally alien landscape of green, rolling hills filled her mind's eye. Flowers and the imagined scents of green and growing things. And, in the distance, a small, decrepit building. Before she could pull her thoughts back to the Beta Kindergarten, the warp activated, sending her streaming through warp space toward a place she didn't know, but that her heart had decided she should go. She was full of a sense of fear and anticipation... and the strangest sense of longing.

 **0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **I am honestly at a loss of what to say. Thank you so, so, so very much for your continued support! I wish I could express how much it means to me. Thanks for staying on board. We have a LONG way to go, so stay tuned as we follow Jasper into the next step of her journey!**

 **Stay safe and read on! Until next time, loves! Ja!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 19**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU FOR READING!**

 **Okay. So let me just say before we start, that this chapter is much longer than the previous chapters. There is a really good reason for that, but I won't say more here. I want to apologize if this is inconvenient in any way, but it simply could not be avoided. Anyway. We'll talk at the end.**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

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Jasper blinked around in the sudden darkness she found herself in. It took her eyes a few moments to adjust to the absence of light, but when they did, she saw that the half moon provided adequate illumination. She would see any threat coming if one presented itself. Then she wondered why she cared. What was the point? She sighed heavily and walked to a nearby tree. She put it between her and the warp pad and sat with her back resting against its rough bark. The Crystal Gems would occupy themselves until tomorrow, but what then? Would Steven tell them they had heard them, or would he feign ignorance? Would he tell them that he had let her go, or let them believe she had simply slipped out into the night with no goodbyes or explanations? Would it matter either way?

No. In that moment, it didn't matter to her at all what he told them or what they believed. They would draw their own conclusions regardless of what anyone else said or did. No matter what she tried, she would never belong and she would just have to live with that, just like she'd had to live with everything else so far. She would have to learn to face this world alone. She had done it once, from a less healthy state of understanding than she had now. It would surely be easier for her to do so now. Her hands clenched into fists and she gritted her teeth, trying to make herself believe the lie.

Angry tears pricked at her eyes. What was the point? What was the point in trying to be a good person anymore? Would it make any difference what kind of decision she made now? What in the world was she going to do? Earth was a small planet in relation to others she had visited, but it might as well have spanned the entire galaxy. She was adrift without a purpose once again. She had thought that protecting Earth would fulfill the drive for something greater inside of her, but that was no longer an option. She could search alone for the cause of the rise of mutation and corruption activity, but what would she do with the knowledge? Even if Steven believed her, the others never would. And how could she justify fighting the mutations and corruptions when she had no way to contain them outside of another prison? She would be causing them pain for no reason. And what if Peridot was right? What if she really was the source? What if her horrible treatment of them was the reason? And what of the lizard corruption that had let herself be defeated when she had realized she could not regain control of herself? If the corruptions she had kept prisoner had spread word of her evil amongst themselves, why had that corruption seemed so confused? Jasper had felt that strange rage enter her at the same moment that it had affected that gem. What had been the source? Why had it affected them, but not Steven? She had not wanted to fight, and neither had that gem. Surely the lizard corruption would have fought her from the start if she had known of Jasper's crimes against other gems, but that gem had only been mildly curious of her at first. And why had the corruption even come there in the first place? Why did she suddenly appear out of nowhere? Jasper had been there for days with no sign of anything living. If the corruption had made a habit of visiting the warrior gem's desolate birthplace, then shouldn't there have been signs of her? Where had she come from? And why?

So many questions! She felt like her head would burst with all of the thoughts flying through her mind. She dug her fingers into her hair, propping her elbows onto her knees as she tried to massage away the sudden headache. What good were any of these questions? She would never find the answers alone. She was no longer a defender of Earth. It wasn't her problem any more. The others had been just fine before she had come along. They would be just fine without her. She was the one who would have to find another purpose. The Crystal Gems would discover the source of the activity without her help and she would never know the conclusion. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. She had to bite back a scream of frustration at the thought.

Her anger faded slowly and with it, so did her strength. Her muscles were still locked in place, but her mind went blank. She stared at the grassy ground beneath the tree without really seeing it. She felt frozen, numb. She was nothing. Nothing mattered. Not her thoughts nor her strangely absent tears. She knew that she was sad, but no tears came. Her eyes were as dry as her heart felt at that moment; like nothing would ever come from them again.

How long she sat like that, she had no way of judging, but as the world began to light up around her, she knew that morning was coming. The world would keep going no matter how much she just wanted it all to stop. This new day would come, regardless of her and more days would come after this one. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. Eternity was before her and she had no idea how to face it. Why was she still alive? Shouldn't this much pain mean she would poof? She felt like her gem should have shattered, but it hadn't. She let her fingers trail over its warm, smooth surface. It wasn't even cracked. She was cursed to survive this pain, just like she had survived every pain before it. There was no end. For a fleeting moment, she wondered how much it would hurt to destroy her own physical form. Was it even possible? She continued stroking her gem for a moment, before letting her hand fall. She was pathetic.

She was a _jasper_! Jaspers never gave up! So what if she had to find a new purpose? She'd done it before! So what if she had to face to world alone? That just meant she had to become even better. It would mean she would have to find a place and a purpose, even if she had to make it happen! She would prove the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds wrong and she would do it the _right_ way this time! She forced her stiff body into motion and stood, stretching herself to her full height. They would all see. She would not give in to her darkness. There had to be a place for her somewhere. A home.

Her newfound determination balked at that thought. _Home_? Why was that the word her mind had conjured? Was that what she wanted? A home? What did that even truly mean? Friends? A purpose?

She shook her head to stop the questions. She was getting ahead of herself. First, she had to find somewhere to stay. She could not just sit beneath this tree so close to the warp pad. She had to move on. She had to go. Where, she did not know, but moving was the only option she had. Belatedly, she remembered the building in her mind. The image she'd thought of this place had been sunny, but, of course it had been night when she'd gotten here. The destination remained the same regardless of the time of day. But what was this place? She had never been here before. She looked around, trying to find something that might trigger a memory, but nothing did. How could she know this place, if she had never been here? And why had it felt so familiar? She shook her head again. It didn't matter. She was here now. She might as well look around. It was more pleasant here than at the Beta Kindergarten at least. And the Crystal Gems would probably think to search for her there first anyway. Her accident had actually turned out in her favor. She could see the building in the distance and decided to go there first. She set off, feeling good to be moving forward.

As she approached it, she was able to make out more details of it and felt the strangest feeling of recognition. Why did she feel like she knew this place? It was so odd, the building. It was made of weathered wood and a metal tower stuck from one side in an impossible angle. Part of a human vehicle was sticking out of a broken piece of the front wall over a large, slightly open double door. The inside was dark, but she could see that there was some kind of dim light within. Nothing made sense. And then suddenly it did. She suddenly realized where she was and felt a bolt of terror lance through her being. Her heart stopped and a cold sweat broke out on her skin as her terrified mind made the connection. She recognized this place because she had seen pictures of it before. Steven had shown her those pictures. She was at the barn he had told her about. The barn that Lapis Lazuli called home.

She wanted to run, but terror rooted her to the spot. How had she gotten so close without Lapis discovering her? Could she even make it back to the warp before she was caught? How could she possibly explain this away? The last question she knew was rhetorical; Lapis would never give her the chance to explain. Why couldn't she _move_!? The longer she stood here, the worse it would be! Every single second she stayed rooted, was another lesson on utter terror, yet her body would not obey her.

" _... it was so … empty. I don't think she's staying there much at all..."_

Steven's words drifted through her mind. That was how she'd gotten so close. Lapis must be away. The thought calmed her slightly, but she was still terrified. Just because Lapis was gone now, didn't mean she couldn't return at any second. Jasper knew she needed to leave. Now. But she couldn't.

Insane thoughts filled her head. Lapis was a Homeworld gem and yet, she had come to call this place home. Peridot had been a Homeworld gem and she had called this place home too. She remembered the look on the short green gem's face as she talked so briefly about being here with Lapis. That expression that was both happy and sad and laced with something Jasper couldn't understand. The soft tone of her voice so full of longing. She remembered that image of a her and Lapis and Steven laughing, seeming to have no cares in the world. What strange magic did this place have, to have had such a profound impact on them? What could possibly have brought that much happiness to two broken gems? She knew that she was crazy, but she had to know. A fire of emotion flared to life in her chest. She had to know. Maybe if she could find the reason, the source, she would be able to make something like this for herself. A safe haven. A home.

Her heart was pounding so hard, it felt like her ribs would break, but she stepped towards those slightly open doors and ignored her fear as she stepped inside. She glanced around, terror mounting as if she half expected Lapis to be waiting to ambush her. All was silent. Lapis really wasn't here. She tried to push away the last shred of fear. She would look and then leave. In and out. No one would ever have to know she was here. One wall immediately captured her attention. It stole her breath and made her heart pound in a totally different way.

It was the blue she'd only seen from afar as of late. The deep sea blue of her worst and fondest memories. She walked to it, drawn like a flower to the sun until she dropped to her knees before it. She watched the fish swim lazily by. A feeling of utter tranquility settled over her. This was the quiet she'd been seeking without the pressure of her fears fighting her at every moment. She didn't even give thought to how it was possible and simply enjoyed it. She leaned forward and touched her forehead to the glass, its cool temperature making her shiver with delight. She totally forgot where she was and why she was here as she embraced a calm she hadn't thought she'd feel again.

"What are _you_ doing here!?"

The frantic shriek whirled her around and her heart stopped as the tingling sensation of utter terror crept over her skin like wildfire. She stayed crouched on the floor and slowly, so very slowly, inched her hands upwards in a gesture of surrender. The last thing she wanted to do was frighten the equally terrified Lapis. There was no Steven between them this time.

The blue gem stood in the doorway, wings flared in both fright and challenge. Her head was held high in a confident manner, but uncertainty and terror lurked in her shining eyes. Her slender hands were clenched into trembling fists at her sides as tiny globules of water began condensing around her, where they wobbled and swirled in the charged air.

Jasper's breathing sped up and she swallowed against the sudden dryness of her mouth. She had no idea what to do, no idea what to say. Her mind was full of static and she could hear her blood rushing through her ears. How was she going to make it through the next few moments alive? "I'll leave." She whispered, just loud enough for Lapis to hear.

"Why. Are. You. _Here_!" Lapis snapped, water condensing into a thin spiral around her, swirling her dress in the agitated air.

Jasper flinched, cowering at the tone of her voice. How could she explain this away? What were the right words? "I didn't know you'd be here." She answered in a rush, voice still just above a whisper.

Lapis blinked in shocked rage. " _ **What**_!?" She screamed, wings flaring higher. The water was a rippling, swirling band of fury, winding its way up to flare towards the roof. "This is my _home_! You have no right to be here whether I'm here or not!"

She had made it worse! Jasper was trying to look as small as possible, hunched over herself. "I'll leave." She tried again, even making a small motion to rise.

Lapis struck out, coalescing the swirling water into a huge hand that stopped inches from the terrified Jasper's face. It took every ounce of control she had not to scream and to stay frozen where she was. "Don't you _dare_ move!" Lapis hissed.

Jasper dared not to even breathe. Seconds passed and she could see Lapis visibly fighting for control. The blue gem looked frantic. Jasper had no idea how to defuse the situation. Everything seemed to only make things worse. She thought frantically, trying to think of any possible thing she could say or do that would let her walk out of this barn and get as far away from Lapis Lazuli as this planet would allow. What had Steven said to do!? Honesty. Be honest. She could explain this.

"Look, Lapis..." She began. She went to raise one hand in a placating gesture, but in that instant the Lapis' weapon struck. Jasper's breath left in cry of both surprise and pain as she was slammed into the wall next to the water.

Lapis was a vision of fury. "Don't say my name." She growled. "You don't have the right to call me _anything_!"

The hand squeezed the helpless Jasper as she struggled vainly. Her heart was racing and her head swam as her breath was crushed out of her. Just as she thought she'd poof, the pressure stopped. She writhed in pain, unable to breathe properly and it reminded her so very much of the horrible torture she'd endured when they were Malachite; part of her felt right at home and that terrified her more than Lapis ever could.

"P-please..." She gasped, barely able to form the word. Even she wasn't sure if she was asking for release or for continuation. She could do nothing to hide the tears that were squeezing from beneath her clenched eyelids. She went limp as her head swam. ".. _please_..." She could barely make a sound.

To her utter amazement, the pressure eased until she was simply being held firmly against the wall. When her vision cleared she could see that Lapis was crying. Jasper's heart wrenched in her chest. She did the only thing she could think of to do. If this was it, if this was the last time she ever got to speak, then there was really only thing she wanted to say.

"I'm sorry." She rasped.

Lapis made a hiccuping sound in surprise. "What?"

"I'm sorry!" Jasper repeated louder. All of her walls came crashing down and she was suddenly more exposed to Lapis than she'd ever exposed herself to anyone, even Steven. Her heart felt raw her soul tearing itself to shreds as she finally let herself say what she had wanted to say since she had freed herself from the Earth's crust after they had been ripped apart by defeat. Said what she wished she'd known how to say when she found Lapis on the boat so long ago; when she had called her a monster because she was too confused by the emotions she was feeling to do anything but wound. "I'm sorry for accepting this mission. I'm sorry for using you to make me feel better. I'm sorry for treating you like you were worthless. And I'm sorry for dragging you back here and trapping you on this planet and making you feel like Malachite was the best option for you!" Jasper was crying in earnest now. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." She kept repeating the tearful words.

Lapis was sobbing as hard as she was, hands over her face as she stared, terrified, at Jasper through her fingers. "No." She whispered. She sagged to her knees and Jasper felt herself being gently lowered to the floor. Lapis still did not release her and Jasper was grateful, because she knew her legs would never support her. "I'm the one who should be sorry." Lapis' voice was thick with tears. Jasper was stunned and, for a moment, she crazily believed that she had actually been shattered and that this was all a fragment of her broken mind. Lapis' eyes were focused on something the warrior gem could not see as she continued. "I... I did horrible things to you. I took everything I had bottled up out on you. Peridot, the Crystal Gems, Homeworld, our Diamonds... It all got directed towards you. As long as I could hate you, I could feel better about everything else. I..." She took a ragged breath. "As long as I hated you I didn't have to hate myself. I'm sorry, Jasper." The last words were barely discernible, but Jasper heard them.

Jasper was frozen with shock as Lapis dissolved to hiccuping sobs. Seeing her cry was almost as painful as being crushed in another way. She didn't know what to say, so she decided to tell the truth again. She had nothing to lose. "You wanna know what the bad part is Lazuli?" Lapis looked up at her, hands still cupping her face, and nodded. Jasper gave her a wry grin and tried to keep her voice under control. "Part of me really likes you holding me against this wall."

Lapis' eyes widened even further, until they looked like they'd bug from her head. "Part of me really likes holding you there." She murmured.

Jasper gave a watery chuckle. "I guess we're both pretty messed up, huh? Maybe we should do the universe a favor and shatter each other, so we don't have to hurt anyone else."

The two of them stared at each other, contemplating the words she'd spoken. They both wore the same expression for a long, drawn out moment as part of them seriously considered what she'd only half-jokingly suggested. Lapis was the first to look away. She slowly withdrew her hand, letting the water return to its source. Without the support, Jasper dropped to her knees. She remained there for a moment, trembling, before trying to rise. Her knees were so weak they wouldn't support her and she stumbled, before catching herself and fully rising. Jasper's mind felt oddly blank as she stood to her full height. Both of them were silent as she walked past Lapis, who was still on her knees. It was time to leave.

"Why did you come here, Jasper?" Lapis asked her as she reached the doorway.

Jasper stopped, but didn't turn around as she replied. "I really didn't think you'd be here, I promise." Her voice was rough.

"But why here?" Lapis asked in a stronger tone. "There's a whole planet out there and you came here. Why?"

Jasper sighed, running her fingers through her disheveled hair to give herself a moment to think past the static roaring in her head. Lapis, of all gems, deserved an explanation. "I didn't mean to come here. Something happened... Steven let me use the warp. I was going back to the Beta Kindergarten. Something went wrong. I wound up here, but I didn't know where I was at first. I didn't even move away from the pad until morning. The barn was the only thing I saw, so I came to see what it was. It wasn't until I was right up on it that I realized where I was. I wanted to leave then. I wanted to run, but... I... couldn't... I couldn't run away." She paused, struggling for words. Admitting her terror was hard, but this might be the only chance she had to explain herself. Even if Lapis didn't believe her, she had to tell her. "I just... There's no place that feels like home here. The Kindergarten, the beach house, even the sea... None of them feel like home. So when Peridot spoke of this place as her home... She looked really happy when she talked about you and this place, but she looked sad too. I couldn't understand it. " Jasper looked back at Lapis, to find the blue gem had twisted her body to partially face her. She was staring at the floor, eyes hidden behind her hair, but Jasper saw her jaw trembling. She pressed on, pretending that she was talking to Steven; just slow and honest truth. "I just... I wanted to understand. And Steven said you hadn't been staying here a lot. I thought I could come and see and try to make sense of it and then leave without you ever having to know I was here." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, for just barging in." Then she sighed again.

"Why didn't you feel comfortable at the beach house?" Lapis' voice was just above a whisper. "I mean, you looked like you were having fun when I showed up." The blue gem hugged herself. Jasper could still only see half of her face, but she could make out Lapis' sullen expression.

Jasper looked away again, hugging herself too, nails digging into her upper arms. Lapis was _listening_ to her and it was terrifying but in a different way and it made her want to share more. "I was having fun. Steven made me actually understand what fun was. Sometimes I get carried away, but it feels good to laugh, you know?" She shrugged. "But they don't really trust me. Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, especially Peridot... they all look at me differently when Steven isn't around. I thought they trusted me, I really did, but..." She grunted as she tried to find the right words. It actually felt good to be honest with Lapis, so she wanted to continue to do so, even if it made her sound weak. "It kind've hurts that they still don't. I've tried. I really have, but it's like no matter how hard I try to just accept this new life, it doesn't matter." She shook her head, staring out at the rolling hills outside. "It's like no matter what I do, I'll never be enough." She trailed off, her voice bitter, before she continued. "I'm still trying to find myself. I've always had a purpose. Now... now I'm nothing." She looked over and was shocked to see that sometime while she'd been talking, Lapis had silently moved up beside her and was staring at her intently. The next words tumbled out, before she could stop them. "I'm scared." She whispered, tears welling in her eyes and spilling over. Tears sprang into Lapis' eyes too and again, they stared at each other, expressions mirroring.

This time, Jasper looked away first, slightly embarrassed at having admitted her true feelings to Lapis, but glad in a way too. It was all out there. She'd held nothing back. She felt... free. Like a huge weight had been lifted from her chest. But she had said enough. It was time to leave before she said or did anything to ruin this strange stalemate. "I'm gonna go." She said softly. "Thank you for talking to me, Lazuli."

"Lapis." The blue gem corrected gently. She seemed surprised a moment later.

Jasper felt herself smile automatically, her heart giving a strange tug. "Thank you, Lapis." She said earnestly.

She waved lightly and stepped outside. The sun hit her skin, warming her and, for the first time in a long time, she felt like the warmth went all the way through her. She started towards the warp pad, unable to fully comprehend that that had really just happened. She had talked, actually _talked_ to _Lapis_!For some reason she felt unbelievably happy. She was a few yards away from the barn when Lapis' voice stopped her.

"Jasper, wait!" Lapis called.

The bi colored gem stopped and turned halfway. "Yes?" She tried to hide her utter surprise at being called out to. Lapis had more to say?

The hydrokinetic gem seemed to pause for a moment, before extending her wings. She flitted forward, landing lightly beside the confused warrior gem. "Look. This is going to sound crazy, but..." The blue gem fidgeted for a moment before squaring her shoulders and looking Jasper in the eye. "Why don't you stay here? At least for a few days until you find another place." She rushed to add.

Jasper was astonished and she gaped down at her. "What?"

Lapis blushed in embarrassment. "I said it sounded crazy." She mumbled, looking down and away. "Never mind, I'm being silly."

Jasper turned to fully face her. "No. No. No." She tried to sound reassuring through her shock. "You just surprised me."

Lapis hugged herself again. "I kind've surprised myself."

Jasper couldn't suppress a shocked laugh. "You're sure it won't be a problem?"

Lapis laughed then as well. "No. But... what harm can come of trying, right?" She asked shakily, more like she was trying to convince herself.

Again, Jasper was struck with the sense that this couldn't be real. There was no way this was happening. There was no way that Lapis had just invited her to stay _here_ of all places. But there Lapis was, looking more uncomfortable by the moment as Jasper stared at her in stunned silence. There was no way she could refuse, but she was aware that things could go south at any moment. "If it ever becomes too much, or I make you uncomfortable, you'll tell me right?" She asked earnestly. She didn't want to put any more of a burden on the gem she had already cost so much. Lapis looked surprised, but nodded. "Then I'd like to stay." She said, smiling down at the blue gem.

Lapis smiled tentatively back. For a moment they just stared at each other. Jasper, for her part was utterly blown away by what was happening. Were she and Lapis actually going to do this? Steven had told her that friendship took trying, but she'd never in a million years truly believed him. Yet here Lapis was, willing to forgive her and try. For the first time in her life, she had taken the high road and apologized for what she'd done wrong and it had felt amazing.

Lapis suddenly blushed and looked away. "C'mon. We need to pick out where you'll be sleeping." She started back towards the barn, motioning at the warrior gem.

"Oh that's okay." She said, turning to look after her.

Lapis looked back at her and quirked an eyebrow. "It'll just be easier to set it up now. There's no trouble."

Jasper grinned at her. "I don't really get sleeping. So I wouldn't be able to use it."

Lapis shrugged. "You may change your mind later. Better to have it and not need it." She chimed as she started walking again.

Jasper started after her, long strides letting her catch up easily. She shortened her pace to match Lapis'. For some reason her happiness was making her feel silly so she decided to play dumb. "Wait, what? Who even said that?" She asked, her voice high and peppy.

She saw Lapis' mouth twitch. "Probably someone who didn't have it when he needed it."

"So we're taking the advice of and idiot then? Makes sense." Jasper tried to fight a smile as she looked up, but Lapis' unexpected snort pushed her over the edge of laughter. She looked back down at the gem beside her to see Lapis giggling up at her.

Jasper was so pleasantly shocked that Lapis was playing with her, laughing with her. This should have felt incredibly awkward, but it felt so... right! She wanted it to last forever. Lapis' head tilted as their laughter trailed off. Jasper held her breath as Lapis looked at her with an unfathomable expression on her face. She felt like the world had stopped spinning for a long moment as she stared back, unable to look away.

The warrior gem swallowed nervously. "Lapis?"

Lapis blinked. "Sorry." She shook her head, one hand coming up to her massage her brow. "I just..." She looked up at the tall gem. "This is just so weird."

It was nice to know Lapis felt the same way. It made her feel much better and her giddy feeling returned. She scoffed playfully. "What part of us has ever been anything but weird?" She asked earnestly.

Lapis sighed a laugh. "I guess you're right." She whispered.

They chuckled together. "Let's go make me a sleeping place then." Jasper offered.

Lapis smiled up at her. "Actually, I have a better idea."

She sounded mischievous and Jasper found herself very intrigued. "Yeah?"

Lapis grinned wider. "Yeah."

She turned and walked into the mostly dark interior of the barn. Jasper watched her for a moment, still not quite sure what was going on but dying to find out. She followed Lapis to the back corner of the barn, where Lapis pointed at the loft. It was a little over head height for the tall warrior gem.

"Wait for me up there?" She asked.

Jasper blinked in confusion, but nodded. Lapis gestured at the thin wooden ladder, and Jasper rolled her eyes in amusement. Lapis knew that ladder would never support her bulk. Lapis' lips pursed and she knew the smaller gem was making a joke. It was so surreal, but the warrior gem was still so shocked and happy that she just let herself go along with it. She flipped her hair and made a big show of reaching up and slowly pulling herself up. She pulled her long legs up beneath her and stood, turning like she was on stage. Lapis was watching her with that same unfathomable expression; almost like she couldn't believe what she was seeing, but there was also a large dose of amusement in her eyes. With a great deal of showmanship, she coalesced her wings from her gem and easily flitted up to land beside Jasper with a flaring stop.

Jasper crossed her arms and rose an eyebrow. "Show off." She scoffed.

Lapis smirked at her before pointing at a couch near a large window. "Wait there. I'll be right back."

Without waiting for an answer, she flitted away, back out the door of the barn. Jasper watched her leave and then moved towards the couch. The legs had been taken off and it was resting flat on the floor. There was a low, long wooden box in front of it. She flopped easily down on the couch, slouching so that her head was resting on the back of it. With the couch being made for people much smaller than herself, Jasper had to lie a bit sideways for her rear to not be on the floor, but after a moment of wiggling she found the perfect position. She folded her arms over her stomach, linking her fingers together. She crossed her ankles and waited for Lapis to return. She absolutely could not wait to see what it was that the hydrokinetic gem wanted to show her.

The blue gem didn't keep her waiting. It was only a moment later that Lapis was back, carrying what Jasper recognized as a television. She watched curiously as Lapis deposited the small TV on the box in front of them and plugged it into the wall. She held up a finger and flitted back out, returning with another box, this one small and rectangular. A bigger box sat on top of it, full of tapes labeled 'Camp Pining Hearts'.

At this point, Jasper knew what was happening and thought about telling Lapis that she did not understand television, but stopped herself. Lapis was going through a lot of trouble to this up for her and saying anything could tip the scales of this strange … thing they were doing. She did not want this crazy thing, whatever it was, to end. The very least she could do was watch whatever it was that Lapis wanted her to see. The hydrokinetic gem finished what she was doing and turned back to the waiting warrior gem.

"Ready?" She asked excitedly.

She was grinning hugely and Jasper felt herself respond almost without thinking. "Lazuli, you've got me thoroughly hooked. Reel me in." She joked.

Lapis shook her head, still smiling. "You're going to enjoy this. I promise."

She moved to sit on the couch with Jasper, curling her legs beside her on the cushion. Jasper felt slightly self-conscious at the way she could suddenly feel Lapis beside her like a line of heat. She was almost afraid to look over, afraid it was too much too soon. When she risked a quick glance, she caught Lapis' eye. She looked away quickly, before realizing that Lapis had been looking too. She glanced back and their eyes met again. This time, neither of them looked away and Jasper felt herself blush in mild embarrassment. Lapis smiled, blushing too and Jasper's responding grin felt like it'd split her face, it was so huge. They were so close, but not touching and the way they leaned was away from one another. It was intimate, yet distant; comfortable.

A picture flared to life on the television and Jasper looked over as a voice began to tell a story. She glanced back at Lapis to see the blue gem still watching her. Lapis titled her head at the TV, a command clear in her eyes, and Jasper nodded sagely, making a show of staring intently at the TV.

She honestly expected to be lost and bored quickly, but this show was different than the ones Steven watched. The characters alone were compelling and the scenery was all earthy with trees and log houses. It drew her in almost immediately and kept her there. A few minutes later, she managed to tear her eyes away and look at Lapis, utterly surprised. Lapis smirked an 'I told you so' and Jasper blinked, before turning back to the TV. And there they sat as the sky darkened outside, until the only light was the light from the television.

Jasper knew it should have felt weird, sitting the dark watching human television with _Lapis_ of all gems, but it didn't. Even if this was the Lapis who had hated her until earlier that day; the Lapis who could have poofed her in an instant earlier and yet had given her a chance to redeem herself. Then it dawned on her; Lapis had seemed to want to apologize too. As soon as she herself had apologized, Lapis had been free to do so too. In a way, she had helped Lapis. It felt... good. It felt good to apologize. She could finally see why it came so easily to the others. It felt right.

She looked over at hydrokinetic gem, examining her profile as she watched the TV. She seemed content, not tense at all. That made Jasper feel good as well, but in a different way. Lapis had changed too. It was kind of scary. She had known that she had from the pictures, but seeing it in person was a totally different experience. She'd thought that she understood Lapis better than anyone, but the Lapis she had known was only a piece of the Lapis beside her. The person she had seen the darkest depths of, the person who had seen the darkest depths of her, was a suddenly a familiar stranger.

"Jasper." Her name was a whisper. She blinked and found Lapis looking at her with a worried expression. "What is it? What's wrong?" Jasper looked at her, confused. "You're crying!"

Jasper lifted a hand and brushed it over her cheek. She was surprised to feel wetness there and stared down at her glistening fingers in confusion. A sob caught her by surprise. "I'm sorry." She croaked, quickly brushing her hands over her face. "I don't know what's wrong."

Lapis turned and reached down beside the side of the couch. When she turned back she was holding a box of tissues. "Here." Lapis said softly, holding out a tissue. Her voice was carefully neutral.

The show of kindness made Jasper's tears fall faster, even if she was slightly ashamed of them. "Thanks." She sobbed. She wiped her eyes with a shaking hand. "I'm sorry." She repeated, sniffling.

"Don't apologize." Lapis told her, voice still soft. "It happens to me sometimes too. Why'd you think they were there?" She chuckled sadly.

Jasper pouted at her. "That just makes it worse."

Lapis let out a surprised laugh. Tears welled in her dark eyes. "Yeah, I guess it kind of does." They exchanged watery grins. Lapis took a deep breath and looked away. "I need to move." She said shakily.

Jasper watched sadly as Lapis stood and walked to the ladder. Slowly, she descended into the darkness of the barn and Jasper felt the silence weighing on her. She'd been having so much fun and she'd ruined it. She wanted to apologize but she couldn't bring herself to speak as she watched Lapis' silhouette walk towards the door of the barn. There, the blue gem stopped and looked back at her, face awash in moonlight.

To Jasper's surprise, Lapis smiled at her. "Coming?"

The warrior gem felt a rush of warmth and her responding smile felt like it would split her cheeks. Lapis hadn't been trying to get away from her at all! She rushed to rise and stumbled a bit. Lapis giggled and Jasper blushed. Then she made an impulsive decision and ran towards the edge of the loft. She took a flying leap, catapulting herself towards the door of the barn. She landed lightly a few feet away from Lapis. The blue gem clapped sarcastically and Jasper did an overly enthusiastic fist pump. She grinned hugely when Lapis laughed. She let a little of her usual swagger enter her step as she joined the still chuckling gem at the door. They walked outside together.

Jasper stared up at the stars and took a deep breath of the fresh air as they walked side by side. They were silent for a few long moments, but it was an easy silence. Jasper simply enjoyed the night air that was so much different from the coast. The sky was clear and the stars sparkled brilliantly out here, so far from the city lights.

"It really is nice being back here." Lapis said quietly.

Jasper looked down at her. The questions she had wanted to ask flashed in her mind, but maybe now wasn't the best time to ask. It might change this strange, peaceful mood she was feeling, so she kept them to herself. "I haven't been here long, but it seems really nice." She offered.

"You should have seen it before." She pointed at the nearby barren field. Grass was slowly taking it back over. "Peridot and I tried farming. We actually thought we were making sentient corn." She smiled fondly, obviously remembering something.

Jasper smiled too, feeling a warmth in her chest at Lapis' expression. "I don't even know what farming is, but that sounds funny."

"Oh, right. How could you know?" Lapis stopped and put a hand to her forehead. "I forgot how it was at first. All this Earth stuff."

The tall warrior stopped too, nodding. "It's a little much. It's like there's a whole other universe just here on this planet. I've made planet-fall on hundreds of worlds and none of them were like this one." Then she stopped and looked up. "Or maybe they were and I just never stopped to look before." Her voice was quiet as she wondered again what things would have been like if she'd stopped to look before her life of fighting had begun.

"I explored a few worlds while I was gone." Lapis' voice surprised her from her thoughts. "Most of them were void of life, but the ones that did have life were..." The blue gem trailed off. "All of them are different, but in a similar way, if that makes sense. Humans are pretty unique though. They do things so differently from anything else."

Jasper decided to share one of the revelations she'd had while learning about life on Earth. "I think that's why this planet is the one failed colony. Humans tipped the scales. If it hadn't been for humans, Rose Quartz would never have thought twice to defy our Diamond." Jasper hung her head. "Life would have been so different." Her voice was strained as she tried to keep her emotions under control. She was carefully refusing to feel as she let her mind explore the thought.

"You'd still be under the rule of the Diamonds if she hadn't."

"I know." Jasper nodded again. "And I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"What do you mean?" Lapis asked softly.

Jasper smiled wryly. "Nothing. Everything." She took a deep breath. "I can't imagine being under the rule of my Diamond at all. Would she have liked me?" Jasper felt a sudden chill and hugged herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lapis start to reach for her, before letting her hand fall. She looked away as Lapis looked down.

"I can't answer that." Lapis whispered after a moment. "I didn't get to know my Diamond well at all. I was just an ordinary Lapis Lazuli. We aren't common, but we aren't rare. Invisible until needed. I just did as I was told before..." She trailed off.

Jasper winced at the tone of her voice, remembering about Lapis' imprisonment in the mirror. It had been a large portion of Peridot's interrogation. "I'm sorry for bringing it up." She said, looking back at her apologetically. She was ruining the mood anyway. Why couldn't she shut her mouth!?

Lapis sighed. "It's okay. It's easier to talk about now than it was back then." Lapis looked up into her eyes.

Jasper relaxed at the expression on her face. Lapis' chin was up and her jaw was set. Her eyes burned with inner strength. Jasper could not help but admire her in that moment. She was so strong. "A lot has changed since then." Jasper said quietly, almost without thinking.

"We're both different gems." Lapis agreed.

"All because of Rose Quartz." Jasper said with a wry grin. "And Steven."

Lapis smiled wryly back. "Funny how things happen, isn't it?"

"I've stopped trying to work it out. I'm just going with this new way of thinking. Once you jump over the edge of weird, you just have to let yourself fall." She laughed.

"Eloquent." Lapis teased playfully.

Jasper smirked smugly, lifting her muscled arms and flexing them. "That's right. Brains _and_ brawn. I'm the whole package."

Lapis rolled her eyes in amusement. "You're a whole lot of something alright." She quirked.

Jasper laughed down at her in astonishment. "Hey!" She whined. "Rude!"

Lapis burst out laughing and it was so infectious Jasper had to laugh too. "You know, you're a lot funnier than I thought you were." Lapis said, looking sideways at her.

Jasper smiled hugely as she realized Lapis had been having the same thought as her. They were nothing more than familiar strangers now, but Lapis seemed to want to get to know her too. It was a good feeling, knowing Lapis felt the same way. It was freeing too. She decided to stop trying to be so careful and just be herself. Or the self she was becoming, that is. Even if she wasn't sure where this was going, it felt so very right. She wouldn't trade this chance to be with Lapis for anything in the universe.

Silence stretched between them and, although it was a comfortable silence, Jasper felt the urge to speak. "So. What do you usually do for fun around here?"

Lapis looked away, her expression falling slightly. "Well... it's still kind've different being here without Peridot. Usually she or I would take an interest in something and she would research it and we'd just go with it. She came up with a lot more ideas than I did. She knew much more about Earth than me. I know more now, but I'm still learning."

Her tone made Jasper feel sad. "I know the feeling. Everyone knows more about everything than me. All I know how to do is fight and crack jokes."

Lapis grinned wryly up at her. "That's not so bad."

Jasper shrugged. "Maybe not, but it does get kind of boring when you aren't really good at anything."

"I'm sure that's not true." Lapis said quickly. "Maybe you just haven't found what you're good at yet."

Jasper titled her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, what all have you tried? Like playing an instrument or trying a craft?"

The tall warrior gem blinked. "Huh. Guess I haven't really tried anything like that."

Lapis smiled triumphantly. "Then how do you know you aren't good at anything?"

Jasper laughed. "You're as incorrigible as Steven."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Jasper scratched her chin as she contemplated Lapis' advice. "I wonder where I should start."

Lapis hummed. "Maybe..." She started.

"Maybe what?"

Lapis blushed. "Well, there's this meep-morp I've been working on for the past few days... but it's nothing special. Maybe we should-"

Jasper cut her off. "I'd love to see your meep-morp." She laughed. "Whatever that is."

"We have a lot to teach you." Lapis sighed with a grin.

Jasper felt her heart skip a beat. Her heart felt like it would burst with gratitude. "I'm just glad you're willing to try." She said earnestly.

Lapis blinked in surprise. "I just... want to do what's right." She said quietly, looking away. She hugged herself and Jasper wanted to reach out to her as she withdrew. The warrior gem could almost see Lapis' wall rising back into place and she wanted to cry out in dismay.

She groaned and rubbed her face. She was so stupid! "I keep saying the wrong things! I'm sorry."

Lapis looked back quickly. "No. It isn't you. It's me" She insisted. "I'm bad at this." She muttered.

Jasper felt a profound sense of relief. Lapis was feeling just as awkward as she was. She chuckled. "I think we both are."

The slender blue gem laughed with her. "What are we even doing?"

The warrior gem grinned. "I have no idea, but I'm having fun."

"So am I." Lapis smiled up at her. "Maybe we're doing it wrong?" She suggested.

"Maybe." She agreed. "What do you think we should do?"

"I'm not sure." The hydrokinetic gem said slowly. "I feel like we should know more about each other than we do. We were together for so long..." She trailed off.

Jasper's playful mood died as memories of Malachite filled her head. The expression on Lapis' face said she was lost in memories too. The warrior gem sighed. She'd wanted to avoid talking about their fusion, but now she realized that they could never make this work unless they did. She wanted it to work, but she sensed that it was too soon for a deep conversation about it.

The tall warrior gem looked up at the stars, choosing her next words carefully. "She wasn't really who we are. She was us before we knew there was another way." She looked back down to see Lapis staring up at her, eyes shining. "We don't have to be her again. We've grown since then." She smiled softly. "And I for one like the change."

Lapis looked away, hugging herself again. "I still don't see why you'd even give me a chance. You keep acting like you're the one who did something wrong when we both know it was me." Her voice was harsh, expression dark and painful.

Jasper had hesitated to touch Lapis before, but she had to make sure Lapis heard and understood what she had to say. She stepped forward and gently grasped Lapis' chin. She had a moment of déjà vu as she lifted Lapis' chin and leaned in to look into her eyes.

"We were both to blame." She said firmly. "I never laid it all on you, Lapis. I did wrong things too. I'm just really glad I'm getting the chance to make it right."

Tears glistened in the slender gem's navy eyes. "I didn't even know I wanted to until today. But I'm really glad too." She whispered.

"Then let's do it!" Jasper cried, dropping her hand. "I'm here, Lapis, and I'm not leaving unless you tell me to go." Then she smirked, standing back again. "I might even stay if you do. I'm stubborn that way."

Lapis smiled through her thickening tears. "Now _that_ I remember."

Jasper was beyond grateful to see that smile. "Is that a yes?" She asked softly.

"Yes." Lapis murmured.

Jasper beamed at her. She felt so light; like a strong wind could blow her away. Lapis was looking at her with that unreadable expression again, the one that made her heart skip a beat. What did it mean?

"What are you thinking right now?" She asked gently.

Lapis blinked and a blush flared to life on her cheeks. "Nothing." She cleared her throat. "Weren't we going to introduce you to art?"

Jasper still very much wanted to know what Lapis had been thinking, but Lapis' nervous tone let her know that the blue gem wasn't ready to share whatever the thought was so she let the conversation be redirected. "You said something about this mysterious meep-morp?"

"Right. It's this way." She said quickly and began to walk swiftly away.

Jasper started after her. "So meep-morps are art?"

Lapis chuckled. "It's what I called them before I knew what they were called. It's sort of a habit now. Those sculptures in the barn, like the toilet pyramid and the leaf are morps I made with Peridot before I left. I haven't really made any since..." She sounded sad. She shook her head. "But when I came back here I just... felt inspired to make something and this was the result." She said pointing.

Jasper looked and stopped short. There, hanging in midair, were dozens of pieces of colored glass. She blinked and was able to make out clear wires holding them up as they swayed gently in the breeze. They were connected to a thin, wooden frame that looked too flimsy to support them, but somehow it was. The small square panes caught the light and their beveled edges refracted the moonlight to send it in tiny rainbowed beams to shine on other pieces only for them to turn and send them to another. It gave the effect of glistening stars or water. It was fascinating and beautiful.

Jasper knew her mouth was wide open as she gaped at the splendor before her, but she couldn't make herself care. "Lapis! This is amazing!" She cried when she was able to speak.

The hydrokinetic gem blushed brightly and rubbed one arm. "It's not finished yet." She murmured, but her tone was pleased.

Jasper blinked. "What more do you want to do to it?" She asked earnestly.

"See, that's the thing. I'm not sure. It just needs... something." She walked towards it, arms coming up to gesture vaguely in the air. "It's fine from that angle, but over here it looks sparse. And since it's a three dimensional piece I want it to look good from every angle." There was a passion in her voice that Jasper wanted to understand.

She walked to where Lapis was standing, but couldn't see what she meant. Then, a stray breeze caught the panes just right and she saw that most of the pieces swayed the same way and gave the illusion that the art had gaps. She tilted her head and looked at the way each piece was hanging and had a sudden thought.

"What if you changed the orientation of the wires? So they'd hold some of the panes a different way. Then they wouldn't all move the same."

Lapis' brow furrowed and she stared intently at her project for a moment. Jasper thought she had said the wrong thing for a brief moment, before the hydrokinetic gem's expression shifted. Silently, she coalesced her wings and flitted up to where some of the wires connected. Jasper saw a few of them sway as the slender gem relocated a few. Jasper watched as a few panes in random places throughout the sculpture change direction with the placements. It strangely put her in mind of an air weaver rearranging a dew covered web.

As soon as the thought entered her mind she could see the network of wires differently. It was like laying out a strategy for battle, only far more pretty. She could now see how each set of wires oriented its pane and knew that Lapis was seeing that too. It stunned the warrior gem that Lapis was able to even begin to make something like this, and even more so that she was able to change it on the fly like she was doing.

Then she saw a pane sway that didn't need to move and realized Lapis had accidentally unstrung the wrong wire. "Wait. Not that one." She called softly.

Lapis blinked down at her. "What?"

"That's the wrong one. You want the blue one."

The hydrokinetic gem looked down in surprise. "Wow. You're right!" She quickly retied that wire and selected the correct one. Jasper smiled up at her as the proper pane swung just right.

Lapis beamed at her and continued to work. Jasper continued to watch her silently, enjoying having helped. Lapis hummed as she tied another wire into place and then flitted down to stand beside her.

"Well?" She prompted when Lapis was silent for a few moments.

Lapis tilted her head. "It's better. Much better. But it's still missing something." She sounded frustrated,

Jasper frowned over at the sculpture. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Lapis sighed. "I'm not really sure either." She shrugged. "Maybe it'll come to me later."

Jasper's heart sank. "Sorry, I wasn't much help."

Lapis looked up at her apologetically. "No. You were a huge help. I might not have thought to simply turn them. It makes it look more dynamic. It was exactly what it needed."

"Really?" The warrior couldn't keep the hope from her voice.

Lapis smiled softly at her. "Really. And considering it was your first introduction to art I have to say, you pick up on things pretty well."

Jasper blushed and tucked her chin. "I don't need an even bigger head, Lazuli." She muttered.

The hydrokinetic gem laughed. "Let's leave this for now. What do you want to do?"

She pretended to think. "I wanna do what you wanna do." She grinned.

Lapis rolled her eyes. "That's not an answer."

"It is so." The warrior gem said indignantly.

"It's an evasion."

Jasper pursed her lips against a laugh. "What you're doing is evading. I answered honestly." The laugh escaped at Lapis' frustrated groan. "Fine. I'll rephrase. If I weren't here, what would you be doing?"

Lapis frowned in thought. "I'm... not sure. Sleeping, I guess."

"So you sleep too?" Jasper asked, incredulous. "I know you said I needed a sleeping place, but I just thought you were being courteous."

Lapis shook her head. "No. It takes a while to get used to it, but sleeping is actually nice. I like it."

"Why?"

"Well, sleeping is sort of like a mental break. You don't really have to think of anything."

Jasper was suddenly very interested. "Steven never explained it like that."

The slender gem shrugged. "The others don't see it that way, but I like the escape of it."

Jasper looked away, thinking it over. "It's that nice, huh?" She asked after a moment.

"It is. Why don't you try it?" She asked.

Jasper nodded. "I think I might like that." She glanced back to see Lapis smiling at her softly. "Is it silly that the thought of trying this scares me a little?" She asked, embarrassed.

Lapis shook her head, still smiling. "Not at all."

She grinned hugely over at her. "Okay. What do I need to do?"

"First. You lay down." Jasper started to do so. "Wait. Not here."

The warrior looked at her. "Why not? It's safe isn't it?"

Lapis glanced around. "Well, yeah. I just usually sleep inside." She looked up at the glittering stars. "I guess sleeping out here this once wouldn't hurt." Her voice held a strange tone that the warrior gem didn't recognize, but she let it go without comment.

She finished lying down and wiggled her body a little to get comfortable on the soft grass. "I like it out here." She said honestly.

Lapis lay down beside her a few feet away. "What can I say? I've been thoroughly humanized." Her voice was sarcastic.

Jasper chuckled. "I'm starting to think that isn't such a bad thing anymore."

They lay in silence for a few moments. The night air was crisp. The scents of green and growing things and rich earth surrounded them. The grass was soft beneath them and the sky was a clear and cloudless expanse of glistening splendor.

Jasper sighed contentedly. "This is nice."

Lapis hummed in agreement. "I spent months out there in the stars and forgot to actually look at them."

"It's amazing what we miss by just forgetting to look." Jasper murmured. Then she sighed. "But, I get the feeling that looking doesn't help me sleep."

Lapis giggled. "Yeah, looking kind of does defeat the purpose. You have to close your eyes."

Jasper did so. "Okay. What next?"

"This is the tricky part. You have to clear your mind. You can't think about anything."

Jasper furrowed her brows as she tried to do what Lapis was telling her. She tried to think of blankness. Tried to focus only on nothing, but the harder she tried, the louder her other thoughts became. Thoughts about her past. Battles and endless space. Her regrets. Her shame. She blinked opened her eyes in an attempt to chase them back. "This isn't working."

"Mm. It's hard at first. We don't have to do it if you aren't ready."

"No." Jasper said quickly. "I'll try again." She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to make her thoughts on nothing louder than the other thoughts roaring in her head. It became a sort of an internal screaming match.

After a moment, Lapis spoke. "That's not thinking nothing."

Jasper opened her eyes again to see Lapis sitting up and looking over at her. "I know... My head won't shut up. Trying to be still like this is..." She trailed off, hands gesturing wildly as she grasped for words. "It's like every bad thought I ever had is just waiting for me to be still so they can take over."

Lapis blinked in shock. "You too?"

Jasper felt her eyes widen in surprise. "You feel the same?"

Lapis nodded. "Before I knew how to fight it, it was torture." She whispered. "Or, well, kind've fight it. It never really goes away." She amended quickly.

Jasper turned on her side to face her fully. "How? How do you fight it?"

"By staying busy. Or thinking about things that relax me. That's how I sleep. I think of things that soothe me."

"Like what?" Jasper asked earnestly. "What kinds of things?"

Lapis blushed. "Nothing special."

"I doubt that. Tell me." Jasper scooted a tad closer to her, propping herself up on one elbow. She rested her chin in her hand and stared up at Lapis inquiringly.

Lapis scoffed. 'You've spent far too much time with Steven, you ham."

Jasper laughed. "Maybe. But I still wanna know."

"It's embarrassing!" The slender gem protested, but Jasper heard amusement in her tone.

"Then I won't look at you while you tell me." She immediately flopped back onto her back and covered her eyes with one arm. When she knew Lapis was looking, she peeked out and winked, before covering them again.

Lapis' giggle made her smile. "Okay." She took a deep breath. "I think the thing I think about the most is... flying. After being unable to move under my own power for so long... being so free is... It's the best thing ever. Feeling the air move over my skin. Playing in the condensation of the clouds. Racing the birds. I am totally under my own power." Jasper felt her heart surge with the emotion in Lapis' voice.

She found herself remembering the last moments of Malachite. That one short period of time in which she could fly. It had been her favorite part of their fusion besides Lapis herself. As Lapis continued to talk, describing air currents and the ways she glided with them and how she loved fighting against a storm, the warrior gem found herself imagining herself in that big open sky that Lapis described. She imagined being in that surreal place between the stars and the sea. A wide open expanse of nothing but the whipping wind, soaring clouds and crashing waves.

As she found herself relaxing more, she stopped so much hearing what Lapis was actually saying. Instead she was focused only on the sound of her voice. The highs and the lows and the sounds of joy. Earlier today, Lapis had been her enemy. Now she was more relaxed with her than she'd ever been with anyone. That was her last thought before her mind went strangely blank and she drifted to a place beyond words.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **And... there we go! So, now you can see why I couldn't break this chapter into two parts. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.**

 **We have finally reached the meat of our story! Everything Jasper has been through to this point has brought her here. Will she be able to stay with Lapis? Will she truly be able to make things fully right between them? Will Lapis fully accept her? What happens when the Crystal Gems find out? All this and more to come!**

 **I am really anxious to know what you guys thought. I know Lapis may have seemed a little OOC at parts, but that will all get explained in future chapters, I promise. Lapis has made a journey of her own. Whether or not Jasper will ever get to hear it, is for another chapter.**

 **Thank you guys so much for your continued support! I do hope you enjoyed and I look forward to your thoughts! We still have a LONG way to go!**

 **Stay safe and read on! Until next time, loves! Ja!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 20**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING!**

 **I won't keep you here. We will talk at the end of the chapter. READ ON, LOVES!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Jasper was running. The land was falling into an abyss just a second behind her. All around her stood gems, thousands of them, all motionless and silent even as the earth crumbled and they themselves fell. All of them were staring silently upwards. Why weren't they running? She risked a glance away from the ground in front of her and looked to see what held them so placid in death.

The Diamonds were there; Blue and Yellow and a faceless and somehow formless figure that she realized was a personification of the mysterious White Diamond that she'd never laid eyes on. At their feet- though they were somehow standing in midair with nothing to support them- was a scattering of shards; pink shards. She stumbled as she saw Blue Diamond's tears and her adopted ruler, Yellow Diamond's fierce scowl. The formless White Diamond laid her wispy hands on the shoulders of her fellows and, as one, they turned to look down at the crumbling planet.

She stumbled as a white light exploded all around her, blanketing everything and blinding her. She crawled blindly forwards, scraping her hands as she forced herself onto her feet to keep ahead of the land still crumbling behind her. Then, with the same suddenness that it appeared, the light was gone. She was now left running blindly in darkness. Her heart was pounding so hard it took her a moment to realize that she couldn't hear the sounds of trembling earth anymore. Her vision returned in spots and streams as she slowed. When she was finally able to look around her, she saw a sight more terrible than anything she'd ever witnessed. The thousands of gems around her were changing, faces twisted in silent masks of horror and pain. Their skin spread with corruption and they took on grotesque forms. Some of them came together making even more horrid monstrosities. A groaning broke the silence behind her and she felt a trickle of terror rise up at the terrible sound.

Slowly, almost painfully, she turned and saw the abyss impossibly rising up. It had a thousand twitching limbs, a thousand gaping mouths, all moaning in pain and confusion. The conglomerate horror rose above her and the still mutating gems. She found herself rooted to the spot, unable to look away as her eyes saw something that somehow made all the other horrors around her seem lesser with its monumental impact.

There, on the front of the horrible, towering horror, were Steven and the other Crystal Gems. Their eyes blinked blankly like the thousand other blankly blinking eyes around them, their skin greying out as it blending with the horrible monstrosity. Her heart hurt at the sight of them moaning in agony. She reached out, not knowing what she could possibly do to help, but knowing she wanted to try.

"It's too late." A whispering voice echoed around her.

Jasper opened her mouth to protest, but no sound came out. Before she could try again, a dozen spindly arms of all different colors, exploded from the ground beneath her. They wrapped around her limbs before she could even think to react and she found herself being forced onto her knees. More grasped her head, forcing her to look up and up and up, until her neck was painfully stretched as far as it would go. Something separated from the monstrosity and came slowly drifting down attached only by a thin, pulsating tendril. Her entire body jerked with the force of her denial as she recognized that figure. The hands tightened even more painfully and she could scarcely breathe as Lapis Lazuli came to hover just above her. Her skin was streaked with red ruin, her skin purpling away from the lines of corruption that spread a little more even as Jasper watched in horror. Her navy eyes were now the same, blank white color of the rest.

"You can't save them."

Lapis looked away and the hands on her head forced her to look as well. Her heart stuttered as she watched the corrupted gems march towards the monster. In twos and threes they walked right into it, their forms and gems flowing into it like a grotesque tide of sickening proportion.

"You can't even save yourself."

To her absolute horror, Jasper found herself being pulled inexorably towards the monstrosity. She tried to fight, but the hands tightened so much she thought she might poof. They wouldn't even let her look towards her fate, forcing her head back so that she had to look up at the ever growing, trembling nightmare vision of flailing limbs and dead eyes all staring down at her. The mouths began whispering all of her many sins, as if they had plucked her darkest moments from her mind. She fought futilely against touching its mottled and horribly blended skin, but was pressed against it. It was cold and damp and wriggled in such a way that it turned her stomach even as the whispered words churned her soul. The last thing she saw before going fully under was Lapis' cold and expressionless face.

"Goodbye, Jasper."

Her mind swirled as she screamed a wordless denial, even as she felt herself being absorbed. The grip on her was still painfully tight, squeezing her, shaking her. Voices all around her screamed her name and she felt herself slipping away.

"Jasper, wake up!"

Jasper's eyes flew open as she jerked into wakefulness. She saw a slender shadow above her and instinctively rolled away. She rose, crouching in a low fighting stance as she faced her opponent, screaming in both fear and challenge.

The figure stayed still, hands up in a placating gesture. The clouds that had been obscuring the moon drifted by and the slanting moonlight illuminated the figure. It was Lapis. Why was Lapis here? Memories of the impossible day filled her mind and she remembered that Lapis had made her feel safe and had helped her to try and sleep. Jasper saw that now her navy eyes were wide with fear. She immediately rose from the fighting stance, her heart thundering in her chest. If her first instinct hadn't been to get away...

She covered her face with her trembling hands and felt sweat mix with the tears that were now rolling down her face. The emotions of the terrible vision she'd had, coupled with her waking fear and the near miss of possibly hurting Lapis was too much. She collapsed onto her knees, hunching over herself as she shook with great, wracking sobs.

"Oh, Jasper." She heard compassion and tears in Lapis' voice and turned away from her pity.

She was concentrating so hard on trying to stop her tears that she didn't hear Lapis move and was caught totally by surprise as slender arms wrapped around her broad shoulders as far as they could go. "It's okay, Jasper." Lapis' voice soothed. "You're not alone." Her tone was thick with sadness and Jasper felt in that instant that Lapis knew exactly what she was feeling. The thought ripped a heavy sob from her chest.

The once proud warrior gem hesitated for only the briefest of moments, before wrapping her arms around Lapis, returning the hug and burying her face into Lapis' chest. She felt Lapis' chin come down to rest on her head and even though the hydrokinetic gem was smaller than she, she felt like the smaller of the two as she sobbed. Lapis held her tightly and she felt strangely protected. She let go of her pitiful attempt at control and simply accepted what she felt. She let go, because she knew that Lapis would catch her.

After what seemed like a very long time, she was finally out of tears. Her throat and eyes were raw, but she felt … lighter somehow. Lapis said nothing as her breathing calmed, so Jasper didn't move. She felt drained, but calm and the feeling of being held was exactly what she needed. Slowly, she became aware of the world around them again. The chirping insects and the cool night air. Even though being held felt nice, she suddenly felt embarrassed and awkward. She shifted slightly away from the embrace and Lapis let her go. Jasper couldn't look at her, but she felt an incredible urge to thank her and forced herself to speak even though part of her wanted to run away from this sudden sense of shame.

"Thank you, Lapis." She whispered hoarsely.

"Don't mention it." Lapis' voice sounded strange and Jasper glanced over to see her looking down, blushing fiercely.

Jasper sighed. She needed some way to break the sudden tension they were both feeling. "I don't think I like sleeping very much." She made it into a joke, but she was sure she wouldn't be trying to sleep again any time soon.

Lapis winced. "I didn't think to warn you about nightmares." She looked over at Jasper and her eyes were tight with sorrow. "I'm sorry."

Jasper shook her head. "Don't be." She looked away. "So that was a nightmare? That happens when you sleep?" She shuddered. How could anyone enjoy sleeping if that was what happened?

"It doesn't always happen." Lapis replied. "Just sometimes. Sometimes you dream, sometimes you don't. Dreams can be nice too."

"Dreams?" Jasper repeated the word. It sounded whimsical.

Lapis sat beside her. "Yes. They're sort've like television in your mind. Sometimes they don't make any sense, but they can make you feel good, or happy. Or sad." Her voice was heavy with the last. She sighed. "But nightmares are different. They're always bad."

Jasper unfolded her legs from beneath her to sit more comfortably beside Lapis on the soft grass. She propped her elbows on her knees and looked up at the sky. The stars told her she had only slept for a few hours. She felt somehow more tired now than before she had tried. Nightmares were a force to be reckoned with. It was strange how something her mind had conjured seemingly out of nothing could have affected her so badly. She couldn't even really remember the details of it, just the sense that something terrible had happened.

"I can't even remember what it was about, but it still makes me feel bad to think about it. Is that strange?"

Lapis shook her head. "No. I don't remember my dreams all the time either. Sometimes they stay with me, but most of them just... fade away no matter how much you want to remember them. I've always meant to try and learn more about them, but it always slips my mind. Sometimes, there's so much else going on in my head that I don't even think about dreaming." Her voice was regretful. "But then I think it's a good thing that I forget them, because sometimes I think that if I understood them, they'd stop being special."

Jasper hummed. Hearing Lapis talk about dreams intrigued her. "I kind've want to experience a dream now, but I'm afraid I'll have another nightmare if I try." She said honestly.

Lapis made a sound of agreement. "I can never sleep after I've had one. It takes a long time for me to try to sleep again after."

They were silent for a moment. "What do you usually do after you have one?" Jasper asked softly.

Lapis shrugged. "Anything that occupies my mind. Sometimes it's art or music. Sometimes I just need to move." Her expression morphed into something painful as she continued. "Sometimes Peridot would talk to me. She would always try to make me feel better, even though sometimes she made it worse without meaning to. We had a lot of fights when they were frequent, but we always made up. Until I left, that is." Lapis sounded so sad. "Sometimes I miss her so much." Her voice broke in a sob.

The warrior gem hated to see her cry. She wanted to offer comfort, just as Lapis had done for her and like she'd done for Amethyst on the beach. But Lapis was not Amethyst and she had no way of knowing how the hydrokinetic gem would react. Jasper hesitated for a moment, before deciding there was nothing to do but to try. She reached out with one arm and hugged it about Lapis' trembling shoulders. The hydrokinetic gem tensed for a moment, before leaning into her side. Jasper was beyond grateful that Lapis was accepting her attempt at comfort and squeezed her tightly. She stayed silent as Lapis' soft sobs continued for a time.

When they finally slowed, Lapis sighed breathily, but remained silent. The silence was comfortable, but again, Jasper felt the need to fill it. All of the questions she had been burning to ask filed her head again. Maybe now was the time to ask.

"Why did you leave Earth?" She asked gently.

Lapis sighed and pulled away from her. Jasper pulled her arm back with a heavy heart. She had said the wrong thing again and cursed her foolishness. But then Lapis surprised her by speaking. "I let my fear get the best of me. For a long time, I justified myself by saying I didn't want to be caught up in another war, but the truth is that I was terrified at the thought of facing the Diamonds again. It wasn't the thought of war that scared me. It was the thought of being imprisoned again. It didn't matter to me whether or not the others could win. I left them all behind and ran away without even thinking about trying to help them. I was so selfish." She hugged herself. Jasper's heart lurched at the sad agony in her expression, but she sensed that Lapis needed to finish what she had started and stayed silent, ready to listen to her pain. "Peridot asked me to stay. She said she wanted to fight for Earth and wanted me to fight too, but all I could see was my fear. I felt like she was betraying me by asking me to stay. I felt like she was belittling me. Belittling my trauma. She wasn't... I see that now, but at the time... I was so hurt and angry that I just tore up the barn and flew away. She and Steven watched me go... I looked down on them, knowing I was leaving them behind to face the Diamonds and Homeworld without me... but I was so terrified... I just couldn't stay..." Tears gathered in her eyes. "And I couldn't even commit to leaving. I was such a coward! I couldn't stay on Earth, but yet... I couldn't leave it behind... I got as far as the moon and couldn't make myself go further. I hid there for months. Alone. You know how there's a Diamond Temple there?" She asked, looking up at Jasper. Her eyes were fill of so much pain that Jasper felt her heart tear at the sight, but she knew she needed to respond, so she swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat and nodded. Lapis looked away again, staring at the ground, but not like she was truly seeing it. "There was an Observation Orb there. I used it to watch the others... to watch Peridot... I hated myself for doing it, but... it made me feel like I was somehow still connected to her if I could still see her. It sounds so creepy, but I couldn't stop watching her for a long time... She was so sad... it hurt me to see her like that, but I couldn't bring myself to go back. I just couldn't face her after I'd left like that. It felt like the least I could do was watch her and suffer with her even if she had no idea..."

She was crying again, tears streaming down her cheeks, but suddenly, she smiled. It wasn't a happy smile. Jasper remembered the same sad smile on Peridot's face when she talked about Lapis. It hurt even more to see it now on Lapis' face. How could such a normally happy expression hold so much pain?

Lapis breathed a heavy sigh. "But Peridot didn't stay sad. Steven and Amethyst helped her. I saw her change before my eyes. She became such a different person. I couldn't hear anything they were saying, but I knew she was growing stronger. She trained so hard with the others. They were all preparing for war. She got so much more proficient with her metal wielding. She was helping the others. Smiling... laughing..." She have a bitter laugh. "I actually hated her, just a little, for being able to laugh when I was still hurting so much. I was so angry at her for being brave enough to face something I was so terrified of. For a long time, all I could feel was that bitter resentment towards all of them that they could be so confident in the face of the impossible. But... I couldn't stay mad. How could I? She was happy. Why couldn't I just be happy for her? I had to accept that she was better off without me. That she'd moved on. Once I did, I was free to just be proud of her. I could be happy for her. I probably could have stayed there and watched them forever, but then Steven came..."

"Steven came to the moon?" Jasper blurted in shock. She winced, wondering if her shocked outburst would make Lapis stop talking. Even if it hurt to hear everything she was saying, she wanted to hear it. She wanted to help Lapis share her pain.

Lapis, however, seemed unperturbed by her interruption and nodded. "He did. Somehow Lion was able to bring him to the temple. I was so afraid he'd caught me watching her, but he was just happy to see me... I was really surprised. I didn't think he would ever want to see me again after I'd left him." He voice was barely a whisper.

Jasper felt the need to interject again. "Steven cares a lot about you. Of course, he was happy to see you."

Lapis sent her a painful smile. "I know that now, but I didn't then. He wanted me to come back so badly. He talked about it like he could see it so clearly. He could see us all living together and his words caught me up for a little while. But I could tell that he was tired. He fell asleep. I let him. I sat beside him and thought about how much I wanted that happy future he'd described." She was looking up at the stars, eyes shining. Her wistful tone made Jasper want to smile and cry at the same time, but then her expression went dark and Jasper felt a trickle of foreboding run up her spine. "But then he had a vision or a nightmare. His scream tore me from my thoughts. I asked him what had happened and all he could say was that he'd seen the Diamonds. All of my fear came back. I tried to ask him what did it mean, but... it was like he was seeing things I couldn't. Like he was still caught up by the vision. He looked so terrified and confused. I couldn't push away my fear. I ran. He tried to stop me, but... I couldn't stay... I couldn't... I knew it was wrong... I knew it was wrong to leave him like that, but I was just so terrified..." She buried her face in her hands and started to sob again. "I hate myself so much for that." Her voice was full of agony.

That was enough. Jasper had to stop this. Lapis was in so much pain and Jasper could not stand to see it. This time she did not hesitate to pull the sobbing gem into her arms. Lapis stayed curled into a ball and fit easily into the warrior gem's lap. Jasper wrapped both arms around her sobbing form and held her tightly, trying to express how much she wished she could take away the pain and terror of her memories. She felt like her heart was shattering as Lapis began sobbing harder, burying her face in Jasper's chest. Tears filled her own eyes and she let them fall, crying for Lapis and at her own inability to do more to help her. For a time, there was nothing but tears and shared pain. Jasper stopped crying long before Lapis did, but stayed silent. She simply continued to hold her as Lapis' tears spent themselves.

She suddenly wondered at how tiny the hydrokinetic gem felt in her arms. Lapis was so very powerful. When she was moving, she seemed so much larger to the warrior gem, but now, she realized again just how small Lapis was compared to her. Not as small as Amethyst or Steven of course, but still small. She felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness fill her. She wanted to protect Lapis for as long as she could. Nothing would ever hurt the gem in her arms again; not if she could help it. The thought should have surprised her, but it felt so very right. Jasper knew that she had caused the gem in her arms so much pain herself, but she wanted to make it right. She _would_ make it right. It didn't matter what she had to do or how long it took. This was her purpose now. She felt it settle in her chest, filling the void inside her. She finally felt a semblance of whole again.

Slowly, Lapis' sobs began to slow and Jasper was grateful. Lapis' tears hurt so much to see. She wanted to see the hydrokinetic gem smile again; a real smile. She wanted to make her laugh. She wanted Lapis to be as happy as she could be. She didn't know how she would do it, but she knew that she had to try. But, for now, comfort was what Lapis needed, so that was what she would give. She squeezed her tighter, letting her chin come down to rest on Lapis' head for a moment as her tears finally stopped. Jasper knew she should let Lapis go now, but she didn't want to. It felt good to hold her in a way that she couldn't describe. She felt Lapis' fingers tighten in her shirt and her heart skipped a beat as she realized that Lapis didn't want to move either. It made the warrior gem strangely happy.

Then Lapis mumbled something she couldn't hear. "What?" She asked softly.

Lapis pulled her face back and Jasper regretfully loosened her hold to let her lean away. "I said we've cried enough to fill an ocean tonight." She said, tone sardonic. She was blushing and wouldn't look up to meet the warrior gem's eyes.

Jasper smiled softly. She didn't want Lapis to feel bad for her tears. "So what? At least we know we're contributing to the planet in a useful way. Think of all the happy fish."

Lapis' surprised laugh was a balm to Jasper's soul. She was very pleased to hear it and the smile that Lapis directed at her filled her with happiness. She returned that happy smile, trying to express how much it meant to her.

"Even if we've made the fish happy, I'm tired of crying." Lapis said firmly.

"Me too." Jasper replied lightly. "So let's do something fun. Any ideas?"

Lapis smiled brightly and moved off of the warrior gem's lap to stand up. "I might have a few."

Jasper was beyond grateful to see that mischievous glint in Lapis' eyes. She got up to face her, still smiling. "Well, let's hear them."

Lapis turned away and started walking back towards the barn. "Follow me."

Jasper's heart was pounding with happiness. She started after her, eager to see what the hydrokinetic gem had in mind. The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon, bathing the world around them in a soft glow. It felt magical and she thanked every star in the universe that she was able to be here in this moment, with a new purpose and a new try at life. The Crystal Gems could think what they wanted of her. Lapis was giving her a chance and she would use it to prove that the chance of the dark future Garnet had seen would never come to pass. She would be a good gem, a good person. She didn't know how long her being here with Lapis would last, but she would cherish every moment of it. She was done with worrying about her past. When the future looked so bright, how could she possibly focus on darkness now?

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 **And there we have it! I want to thank you guys again so much for your support. I was really nervous about the reception of Jasper and Lapis' reunion. I am very happy that you guys enjoyed it. I know I keep saying it, but really guys, thank you. This means a lot to me, so I'm glad it's fun to read for you all.**

 **Until next time! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 21**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!**

 **So this chapter is another shorty. Sorry about that. I won't keep you here, though. We can talk at the end. Read on, Loves!**

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"Just let me get my phone." Lapis said as they entered the barn. She walked quickly towards a corner where a piece of fabric was suspended between two support beams.

"You have a phone?" Jasper asked, surprised.

Lapis hummed as she rummaged through a cloth bag on the floor. "Yeah. Steven gave it to me when he came. He said that Greg actually bought it for me. They wanted me to have a way of contacting the others." Her voice was sad. "I was really thankful, even if I wasn't planning to use it any time soon."

Jasper didn't like the sound of sadness in her tone. "Why weren't you planning to use it?" She asked softly, walking closer.

Lapis sighed. "I didn't really know what to say. I didn't even know what to say while he was here... I know he wants me to come to the beach house, but... I wanted to come back here and put the barn back where it belonged. Even if it's not the same as it used to be, I like it here. I like being away from the sea." Her tone was dark.

Jasper stopped walking as a jolt of pain hit her heart. "I'm sorry." She said, knowing that Malachite was likely the reason.

Lapis looked up at her with a pained expression. "It's just something I have to live with."

Jasper looked down. "I missed the sea. I wanted to go back and see it like I didn't before. But I never could. I couldn't make myself do more but look at it." The admission hurt.

"It's the same for me." Lapis' voice was still heavy with sadness. "Water has always been a part of me, but I can't make myself go back."

"And it's my fault." Jasper sighed.

A sharp inhale of breath made her look up to see Lapis staring at her wide-eyed. "I was the one who dragged us under, Jasper. I'm the one who did that to us."

Jasper hated to hear her shoulder all of the blame. "You were trying to protect Steven. If you hadn't stopped me, I'd have destroyed him and you know it. You saved him by doing what you did."

Lapis' eyes filled with tears. "That wasn't the only reason and you know it."

Jasper felt tears enter her own eyes. "I deserved it, Lapis. I was a bad person. Jaspers never give up. You know I'd have gone straight back after him if you'd let me go. You felt it. I was full of so much hate... you were just doing what you had to do." She said earnestly, wishing she had the power to make Lapis believe her words so that she would stop hating herself about their fusion.

But Lapis shook her head, a crazed light entering her eyes. "You felt what I was feeling. You felt how much hate was in me. I'm... _evil_." The last was wrenched into a painful sound.

Jasper's heart stuttered painfully as Lapis said that word. "You are _not_ evil!" She shouted. A part of her registered Lapis' shock at her sudden outburst, but she didn't stop. "Don't ever say that! You saw some of the things I did under the rule of the Diamonds. You felt how justified I used to feel about the destruction of others. How I reveled in the pain of gems I thought were weaker than me. I've taken _hundreds_ of lives for a cause I hated! _That_ is evil, Lapis. That was never you."

Lapis moved towards her in a flurry of motion and Jasper couldn't help but to flinch away, afraid she'd said something horribly wrong. Lapis stopped when she did, her breath catching in a sob. "I could also feel how much you hated yourself for it, Jasper." She cried. "You hated yourself even more than I ever could. You _wanted_ me to hurt you. And I did. I hurt you. I could feel how terrified you were of me, and I still did it. How is that not evil?"

Jasper couldn't bring herself to look at her. "I deserved it." She repeated.

"No one deserves what I did to you." Lapis said firmly, voice thick with tears.

"And no one deserved to be treated the way I treated others." She said, finally finding the courage to look up. Lapis' agonized expression cut her to the core. She _had_ to make Lapis understand. "What you did to me, changed me! I can only be the person I am now, because of you!" She cried. "I would never have changed if you hadn't broken me. Never."

Lapis looked away, hugging herself, tears rolling down her cheeks. "You don't now that." She whispered.

"But I do." Jasper said firmly. "You validated what I always knew was true. You showed me that I really was worthless."

"You aren't worthless!" Lapis shouted, her sad expression morphing into anger.

Jasper did not flinch away from her anger. "Maybe not now, but back then I was. I was a horrible gem, a horrible person. I always knew that the time would come when I would have to face myself. It was like you held up the universe's largest mirror. I couldn't run from what I was anymore and fight you at the same time."

Lapis' eyes were full of pain. "I had to accept myself too." She whispered. "I had to accept that I had darkness inside me. A darkness deeper than the ocean."

Jasper smiled and knew it wasn't a good one. "A darkness that matched mine." She whispered back. "But even as dark as you were, there was still light inside of you. I could see it. Like a star. That light was a guide for me, but I didn't know how to reach it." Her heart burned with the need to finally express to Lapis her greatest truth. "I remembered that light, long after we were apart. It was why I tracked you down on that boat. It was why I asked you to fuse with me again. Without you, I couldn't see it anymore." She couldn't fight the sob that ripped from her throat, or the tears that fell as she looked deeply into Lapis' eyes. "I didn't know how to say it. I was so cruel to you, because I didn't know another way without you. You showed me that there was kindness in this universe, but I didn't know how to find it for myself."

Lapis sobbed with her. "I didn't know." Her voice cracked. "I couldn't see how you got any good out of being with me. I thought you were crazy." She admitted.

"I was." Jasper agreed with her. "I was crazy. Malachite would have been just as bad as she was the first time. I see that now. And I'm glad you said no. Even if it hurt, it was the best thing you could have done. Even if I went crazier afterwards, it led me to be here today. I understand so much now, Lapis. So many things I didn't before. All because _you_ showed me the way." She smiled again, trying to express her gratitude through her tears.

Lapis sobbed again. "It still doesn't make what I did to you right." She whispered, looking away.

Jasper reached for her, cupping Lapis' teary cheek and lifting her head so that she could look into her eyes. "Steven told me something once. He said that focusing on where the blame lies and the wrongs we've done isn't what we should be focusing on."

Lapis blinked at her. "Then what should we focus on?" Her voice was a breath of sound.

Jasper smiled as Lapis repeated her words from that night. "Making the wrong into a right."

More tears sprang into Lapis' eyes. "How?"

"By trying." She said firmly, because now she knew it was true. "That's what we're doing, Lapis. We're trying."

Lapis laughed softly, surprising her. "Trying hurts."

Jasper's smile tugged bigger. "It does." She agreed. "But doesn't it feel good too?"

Lapis sighed, blinking her tears away. "It does." She echoed.

Jasper sighed, relieved. "Good." She did her best to push away her lingering sadness. She had told herself to stop looking back, and that was what she wanted to do. She wanted Lapis to be able to do the same. They needed something else to focus on. "What did you want to show me?" She asked.

Lapis blinked, and Jasper swore she saw gratitude in her navy eyes, before Lapis turned and walked back to the bag. She rummaged inside it for a few more moments, before pulling out her phone. It looked exactly like the one Steven had.

"He said it was charged, but I don't know if the battery drained while it was off." She said absently, her voice wavering slightly, as she pressed a button on its side. Jasper walked to her and waited patiently as the device came on. "Oh, good. I won't have to immediately put it on charge." She looked up at Jasper. "Did Steven teach you about the internet?" She asked.

Jasper shook her head. "Peridot sort've explained it, though. She showed me things on it sometimes. Places on Earth. Like forests and mountains and animals. I don't really understand how it works, but I know what it is."

"Great! We can jump right in then." Lapis said, sounding happy. "Let's go sit on the couch."

Jasper nodded and walked with her to the loft. Lapis easily flitted up and Jasper climbed up beside her. They sat together on the small couch, only this time, Lapis leaned towards her, tapping the screen. The warrior gem hadn't really paid much attention when the others had used their phones, but she watched as Lapis opened a program.

"Okay." She said. "This is TubeTube. It's a video site that lets humans all over Earth share videos of things that they create. You can find instructional videos on almost anything on it. Peridot and I used it a lot on her tablet."

Jasper's brows furrowed as she tried to follow what Lapis was saying. "So you can watch people doing things? And it teaches you?" She asked.

"Yep. That's how I learned how to make the frame for the morp outside. Some of them are a little vague, but they give you enough to go on to get started." She smiled. "So. What do you want to learn?"

"Learn?" Jasper asked.

Lapis nodded. "You said you wanted to try a craft, right?" Jasper nodded. "So which one would you like to see?" She asked.

Jasper blinked. "I'm not really sure." She said tentatively. "I don't really know what crafts there are, so I don't know how to pick." She admitted. "I know Steven and his friends make music and you made your morp, but I don't think I'd be good at those. Is there anything else?"

Lapis frowned and hummed thoughtfully. "Well. My meep-morps are only one kind of art. And they're never the same. I think the closest human term for them would actually be sculptures, but there are infinite ways to make them. You can make them out of almost anything, like wood or stone or random objects like those." She said, pointing down to the strange objects Jasper had only noticed in passing; a stacked pyramid of white, glassy objects, a leaf attached to a mound of clay-like dirt, and a few others that were scattered throughout the barn. "Sometimes you make them from nothing, or other times, you shape preexisting objects into a shape that you want to see." Jasper blinked at her in confusion. She really did want to understand, but she really didn't. Lapis seemed to understand how she felt and smiled gently. "Why don't I just show you?"

Jasper felt a sense of relief and nodded eagerly. Lapis was so passionate about her creations and Jasper very much wanted to understand it. She remembered feeling this same sort of eagerness when Steven had taught her about imagination. She had enjoyed learning about it and it had helped her to fill many long hours instead of leaving her with nothing but her thoughts. She felt like learning this would be a similar experience and looked forward to it. Lapis' smile widened and she tapped the screen. Letters appeared along the bottom half and she tapped them with her finger to type in a few human words. Jasper still wasn't familiar with the written Earth language, but she decided not to mention it for now and simply waited for Lapis to select something for them to watch.

"Wood is probably the easiest material to obtain, so maybe we can start there and see if you like it."

Jasper simply shrugged, still a little lost, but also still eager to understand. "Okay."

Lapis glanced at her as if reading her expression. A moment later she was smiling again, seeming satisfied with whatever she saw there. "We'll start with something simple and go from there." She promised, before tapping one of the pictures.

It expanded and a video began to play. Jasper settled a bit more comfortably on the couch as Lapis held the screen where they could both easily see it. They were closer together than the last time they had sat like this, but Jasper felt no discomfort at their proximity. She wondered at how quickly she had grown accustomed to being so close to Lapis and how easy touching her had become. It came without thought now, and she was grateful. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and focused as a human voice began to speak. She would do her best to learn, because she wanted to understand the passion of the gem beside her and because it felt important for her to try something new. She had done nothing before but destroy. Maybe learning to create would help her quell the darkness she knew still resided in her heart.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **And there we go. Jasper is getting to learn about art! Squee!**

 **Thank you all so much for your continued support! I lerv you guys! And thank you to my anonymous guest reviewer who pointed out that I had forgotten to actually list Jasper as a featured character in the tags. Oops! My bad. This has since been rectified. Again. Thanks.**

 **So, I've hit a little bit of a wall inside my head, because there is a LOT going on with life. I've recently changed careers and am hyperly focused on succeeding at my new workplace, so my creative juices are being redirected into my workaholic nature. Yay for adulting. Until I get the swing of things, updates might be a bit more sporadic, but they will, by no means stop and I'm going to do my best not to let more than two weeks go by between chapters, even if they have to be slightly shorter for the time being. I really, truly am passionate about finishing this story. It is, to date, the longest thing I have ever written and has been the most consistent writing I have ever done.**

 **I have always let myself become distracted in the past by trying to write several stories at once and have tons of abandoned and half written stories besides the others I have previously posted and have realized that I am simply not brainy enough and don't have the attention span to tackle multiple projects. Thusly, as I have probably already said, I have literally abandoned every other project but this one for the time being. I do plan on going back and finishing all of them at some point and have a few more stories that I would like to write, but I want to finish this story. It has become a tiny bit (okay, maybe more than a tiny bit) of an obsession. It's important to me and I am extremely determined for this to be my first completed multi-chapter work. I refuse to to let it die. I'm not stubborn, you are.**

 **So to summarize, things may get a bit slower, but they are by no means coming to a halt. I apologize for this, but adulting is a thing we are all forced to do at some point. Cause life. Anyway, that's all for now. Thank you again so much for your continued support!**

 **Until next time, Loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 22**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I love you all!**

 **Let's get to it shall we? READ ON, LOVES!**

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"You're going to cut your hand off." Lapis called in a dry tone.

Jasper glanced away from her current task to smirk at the hydrokinetic gem. She had made one tiny mistake resulting in a minor cut and Lapis had apparently decided that the warrior gem was incompetent at keeping her form intact. Rather than being annoyed, it amused her greatly. "I'm doing it the way those instruction videos you showed me said to do it."

Lapis' frown made her chuckle. "Well don't say I didn't warn you." She said sharply, before flying away towards her sculpture.

"Yeah. Yeah." Jasper called after her, still highly amused, before turning eagerly back to her task.

She was taking her first stab at art. She and Lapis had spent long hours watching videos on her phone, even continuing after Lapis had had to retrieve a cord and plug the device into the wall to keep it from becoming entirely drained. A charger, she had called it. The warrior gem had been stunned and awed by all of the diverse ways to shape wood into almost anything and everything; from simple furniture to elaborately intricate replicas of animals, humans, and landscapes. Some were flat, others three dimensional. Jasper was beyond eager to attempt to make something for herself.

All of the tools needed for this endevour were inside the barn. Lapis had used some herself and told her how to use them and had even shown her videos of the use of each one and Jasper felt very confident that she could at least manage something simple. For some reason, instead of trying something small, she felt it would be easier to recreate something big. There had been no wooden blocks big enough to suit her in the barn, so she had taken a quick trip to the mountainous forest where she and the Crystal Gems had fought the last corruption. She felt slightly guilty for using the warp, but Steven had told her she could, so she pushed the feeling aside. She had remembered seeing several felled trees of a decent size and wanted one for her project. Obtaining it was easy enough, but actually getting an entire tree through the warp had been an impossible task. She had managed by breaking off the protruding limbs and the top half of the tree and was left with a large section of trunk to work with. Her first order of business had been to remove the bark with a hammer and chisel and then she used a sharp saw to flatten the bottom, so she could stand the now bared wood upright. Then came the part she had been looking forward to.

At first, she hadn't really been sure what she wanted to make, but then she remembered the intimidating looking beast she had seen in the forest after the fight. A bear, Lapis had told her when she had described it. Its powerful form had stayed with her and she decided that replicating it would be fun, even if it would be smaller than the one she had seen. Carefully, she had begun shaping the wood, chiseling off large chunks to achieve the rough shape of the animal, picturing it standing upright on its hind legs like it had done when it had seen her in the forest, leaving a wide base to balance it. Then, she began refining the rough shape. Fur, she had quickly learned, was difficult to recreate realistically, but she felt now that she was getting the grasp of it. In the days she spent learning as she went, the more she found that the tiniest change in the angle of her gouges and blades could give a new layer to the definitions of each section and the more she worked, the more proficient she became. She was able to refine the bear even more.

Now, she was adding in finer detail. She was trying to recreate the bear's defensively curious expression, shaping the roundness of its eyes and the fine hairs surrounding them. Shaping its eyes, lead into shaping its roundly angular cheeks and muzzle. The hairs changed and she found herself remembering the feel of Lion's fur and how it changed in texture when she ran her fingers from his brow to his snout and down his muzzle to scratch under his chin. The shorter hair lay smooth, but was bristly, while the longer hairs fluffed out, but felt slightly smoother. Then came the smoothly bumpy textures of its lips and nose. Its nostrils had been flared as it had tried to identify her by scent. When she was satisfied, she went back to its eyes and continued shaping upwards to the powerful brows, remembering how the longer hairs had given it a slightly alarmed look. Then along its head, the flatness of the curve of its crown all the way to its perked, rounded ears.

She continued in similar fashion with each part of the bear's body until the sunlight began to fade into twilight and it became too difficult to see. She frowned for a moment, before looking up to the sky, seeing the sliver of the waning moon shining brightly in the fading sky. With a pang, she realized she'd missed the sunset. She'd been so absorbed with her task, that she had forgotten to look up. Always before, she had stopped working to watch. It was the second time since she reformed that she had forgotten.

"What's wrong?" Lapis said from beside her.

Jasper blinked over at her, surprised that she hadn't heard her approach. "I forgot to watch the sunset." She answered. Lapis titled her head, her expression confused. "I always watch the sunset. It's my favorite time of day." She couldn't keep regret from coloring her tone.

Lapis gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry." She said softly.

Jasper shook her head. "I guess it's kind of silly that missing it makes me a little sad."

Lapis shook her head. "It's not silly. Now that I think about it, I've missed a lot of sunsets. I wish I'd remembered to look too." She smiled again. "Art can suck you in completely if you let it."

Jasper returned the smile with one of her own. "I see that now." She laughed. "Its fun though. If there were more light, I might not have stopped when I did."

"Yeah. The last and first days of a new moon cycle always put a stop to things, unless they were indoor projects. I always meant to see if I could install a few outside lights, but Peridot was better at electronics than I was and we kept getting distracted."

Jasper had a sudden thought. "Why don't we see if there are any videos about that? Then maybe I can try to do it sometime." She offered.

Lapis' brows rose in surprise. "You'd do that?"

Jasper shrugged. "Why not? I want to learn lots of new things. And the lights would be useful."

Lapis beamed at her and Jasper felt her heart give a happy skip. Lapis was beautiful when she smiled and being able to make her do so with a simple offer made Jasper feel good. It was nice. "Okay. Let's do that then. Who knows? Maybe I can learn it too and we can do it together."

Jasper grinned. "That sounds like an even better idea." She spun and pointed towards the barn. "To the couch!" She cried dramatically.

Lapis' laughter filled the air. "And Steven once again makes his appearance."

"He is quite the good influence."

"That he is." Lapis said softly, shaking her head in amusement.

Both were smiling as they made their way to the loft and sat together on the couch where Lapis had left her phone. The night passed quickly as they learned about wires and switches and the different types of electrical outputs. It was equal parts interesting and confusing, but Jasper felt like she could install them in a somewhat efficient manner if she continued to study. Before she knew it, the sky had begun to lighten with the coming of a new day. Perhaps it was because she had missed the sunset the night before, but she decided on a whim that she didn't want to miss the sunrise.

She stood, surprising Lapis. "Come watch the sunrise with me." She said in answer to the hydrokinetic gem's confused look.

Lapis blinked at her then smiled softly. "We can watch from there." She said, pointing to the window.

Jasper walked towards it, grasping the sill and leaning forward on her arms. Lapis bent and rested her weight on her elbows and together they silently watched the sun peak over the distant hills and mountains. Lapis sighed beside her and the warrior gem looked over to see her smiling as she took in the sight, eyes shining. Again, Jasper was struck by her beauty. She didn't know why it kept catching her off guard, but then again, a part of her still wondered at the fact that she was really here; that she was actually sharing another, better, part of her existence with Lapis. Sometimes, like this moment, it felt almost too good to be true.

Lapis glanced over at her. As soon as their eyes met, Lapis' eyes widened slightly and her lips parted as she took a breath. Jasper felt her heart skip in her chest, though she wasn't sure why as they stared at each other. "What are you thinking right now?" Lapis asked her in a near whisper.

Jasper smiled. They'd asked each other that question a lot over the past few days. It had become something warm and affectionate. "That I'm glad we're friends now." She said simply.

It was true. She finally felt like she understood what Steven had meant. She and Steven were friends and now, she and Lapis were friends. She had never even known there was such a thing before and now she had two and she wouldn't trade a single thing for either of them. She missed Steven dearly, but she had Lapis now and she wanted to keep her promise to herself and make Lapis as happy as she could.

Lapis beamed at her. "I am too."

Jasper felt a flood of warmth fill her chest and felt a sudden burst of giddy energy. "Ready to start the day?"

Lapis nodded. "I want to see your first meep morp in all its finished glory."

The anticipation in Lapis' tone caught her off guard. Suddenly, the thought of Lapis, who was talented beyond belief, seeing her work made Jasper strangely nervous. She'd of course known all along that Lapis would see it, but somehow knowing that she was looking forward to it, made Jasper want it to be perfect. She wanted to impress the hydrokinetic gem.

She brushed off the tingle of nervousness and pumped her fist. "It'll be the best morp ever!" She boasted, giving Lapis a wide grin.

Lapis laughed and coalesced her wings. "I can't wait." She said, before flitting away. "I'll see you at sunset! We can watch it together!" She called as she flew outside.

Jasper grinned after her and jumped from the loft. She would get to watch the sunset with Lapis tonight. The giddy burst of energy was back ten fold. She eagerly went outside to her project and looked it over with a critical eye in the morning light. It was nowhere near finished, but she had made a good deal of progress so far. She picked up her tools and set to work, determined to make it into something Lapis would like.

 _ **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**_

Jasper pressed a final niche into the wood of her morp and stepped back. Three days had passed since she and Lapis had started their new routine of working all day until they broke off to watch the sunset. Their nights had been spent learning different things and watching Camp Pining Hearts, but each morning, after watching the sunrise, they had parted to pursue their own projects. Lapis had been making an effort not to peek, saying she wanted to wait until it was finished, which made the warrior gem want to work even harder. She had worked diligently on her bear and now, finally, she felt like she had finished her first ever morp. She looked it over critically, trying to see if she had missed anything important. After working on it for so long, it felt strange to actually be looking at it in its completion. She felt the strangest sense of regret, but it was won over by a huge wave of happiness. She'd done it! She felt positively giddy.

It was suddenly too much to contain. She had to share this moment with Lapis. "Lapis! Lapis!" She called, running over the slight hill towards her.

She saw the hydrokinetic gem's head snap around, before she tied a wire in place and flew to meet her. Her expression was worried. "What's happened? Are you alright?"

Jasper beamed at her. "I'm more than alright!" She reassured her happily. "It's done!"

At once, Lapis' worried expression morphed into a joyous one. "Really?" Jasper nodded, still beaming. She felt as if she could leap into the sky. "Well, show me!" Lapis demanded.

Jasper laughed at her imperious tone and turned to gesture grandly. "This way, m'lady." She cheesed.

Lapis snorted, but lifted her nose in an exaggeratedly pompous manner before starting up the hill. Jasper chuckled and walked with her. She couldn't wait for Lapis to see it. Her heart fluttered in her chest with nervous anticipation. Would Lapis like it?

Lapis stopped short atop the hill with a gasp. Jasper felt her heart drop. Was it that bad?

But then Lapis made a happy sound. "It looks amazing, Jasper!" She cried, running towards it.

Jasper felt her happy feeling return in a rush. "Really?" She asked as she approached.

Lapis was looking at it from all angles. "Yes! It really looks like a real bear!" She reached up and ran a hand along the bear's muzzle. "It almost looks like it could walk away." She murmured.

Jasper felt a rush of elation that Lapis enjoyed her work so much. She felt herself blushing with abashed happiness at the praise. Even if she had wanted the hydrokinetic gem to enjoy it, part of her had been almost certain that she wouldn't and she was beyond grateful at Lapis' reaction. It made her feel good to know that she had finally managed to do at least this one thing right and it was there, visible for her to see. She was smiling so widely that her cheeks hurt, but she couldn't stop.

"I'm glad you like it." She murmured.

Lapis sent her a big smile. "How could I not?" She looked back up at the morp. "You did an amazing job, Jasper. Truly."

The warrior gem felt herself blush hotter. "Stop saying that or my head will get so big, I'll float away."

Lapis laughed. "I'd come catch you before you got too far."

Jasper laughed. On a whim, she decided to share her feelings after finishing it with Lapis. It felt important somehow. "You know, I was almost sad when I finished it. I mean, I'm happy that it's done, but at the same time, I'm not. Working on it was so fun, that now that it's over, I miss it. Is that silly?" She asked.

Lapis smiled softly, her expression tender. "I hate to say it, but that's how finishing every project feels."

"Really?"

Lapis nodded. "I always feel kind've adrift after. Like I'm not sure what to do."

Jasper smiled upon hearing Lapis say she had shared the feeling she had before. "That's exactly how I feel. I knew I wanted to show you, but now I don't know what I'll do."

"You know what the cure is?" Lapis asked, a secretive hint to her tone.

"What?" Jasper asked eagerly.

"Start a new project." Lapis answered with a laugh.

Jasper chuckled. "Maybe I will." It did sound fun to make something else. If Lapis had liked her bear, then maybe she would like other things she could make too. The thought of seeing Lapis' reaction made her want to get started right away. "Now I just need to think about what to make." She said contemplatively.

"If you want, you can use the phone to look something up. I'm sure you'll find something else you want to try."

Jasper smiled. She had never actually touched the phone herself, though she had watched Lapis enough to know how to operate it. Lapis had also taught her to read the written human language in stages so she could actually understand what was typed. She wasn't exactly proficient at it, but she was getting better at it all the time. "Are you sure I won't break it?" She asked. It was very fragile after all.

Lapis quirked an eyebrow. "If you do, you'll owe me a new one. Have fun explaining it to Greg." She joked with a smirk.

Jasper pouted, then grinned. "I'll tell him it happened because you let me use it, knowing I've never touched one before." She mock threatened.

Lapis laughed. "Just go look something up. I have a project to finish." She joked in an imperious tone.

"Forgive me for distracting you then, your radiance." Jasper shot back, bowing at the waist with a flourish.

Lapis giggled and Jasper laughed with her. She loved that she and Lapis could play together like this. It seemed they were growing closer every day. She had never dreamed life could be so peaceful. There were times that she remembered the Crystal Gems and felt a bitter sadness that she might never know if they had completed their mission, and she missed Steven and Lion, but laughing and playing with Lapis made every pain worth it. Being here with her, laughing with her and learning new things, felt like the right thing to do. Every time she and Lapis made a new discovery together, it felt like a validation of her determination to be a better person. Every time she made Lapis smile or laugh, she felt the darkness inside her wither just a little more. She wondered if Lapis felt the same with her. She hoped so, but was afraid to ask. Maybe one day, she wouldn't be, but for now, she would content herself with simply feeling good and enjoying this new side of life.

"Get back to work. I'll find a way to amuse myself until sunset." She said with a smirk

Lapis grinned. "I'll see you then." She coalesced her wings and flew away.

Jasper watched her disappear from sight and went inside. She jumped up onto the loft and settled down onto the couch after grabbing Lapis' phone. Carefully, she opened up the TubeTube application and tapped the search bar. She stared at the blinking cursor for a moment. What should she look up? She had chosen the bear on a whim, and Lapis had liked it, but this time, she wanted to make something more for Lapis than herself. What would the hydrokinetic gem enjoy most? She contemplated for a few moments, before thumping herself on the head as she came to what should have been the obvious conclusion. _Sea creatures_! She thought.

Lapis had mentioned several times how much she missed the sea. Since neither she nor Lapis could make themselves visit it in person, she would bring a piece of the sea to them. She knew exactly which creatures she wanted to make. The huge streamlined creatures that had terrified her and awed her at the same time with their incredible size. Lapis had called them whales. And maybe she could make more than one. A pod of them, perhaps. And maybe she could add more creatures from the sea as well. Eagerly, she typed in 'creatures of the sea' and began to watch videos on marine life. She needed to find the perfect animals to include. Her heart pounded with anticipation. She absolutely could not wait to get started.

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 **And there we go. Jasper's first morp! Thank you guys so much for your support!**

 **So, let me start by saying I have never carved or sculpted anything out of wood before in my life, so I'm sorry if I got any details wonky and was vague about the tools Jasper is using. It made sense for her to use wood though, considering it really is the most easily attainable crafting material for someone with no human money, so I stuck with it.**

 **I wish I had more time to write! I'm enjoying writing this story so much to share with you all. Thank you all again so much for sticking with me!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 23**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU FOR READING! Sorry that It took so long! But we can talk after the chapter.**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

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Jasper spent hours pouring through videos on marine life, stopping only when Lapis came to get her so that they could watch the sunset together. She had finally picked which animals she wanted to include besides the whales. Manta rays. They were gorgeous and graceful and the fact that they looked like they were flying underwater, reminded her of Lapis. Her plan was to make it seem as if the whales and mantas were swimming around a towering coral structure. She could add in smaller marine life as well to fill it out. It would be difficult to give the illusion that they were swimming free of the structure while keeping it all in one piece, but she knew she could figure out a way if she tried. Maybe she could use kelp fronds and make it seem as if they were swimming through them? Her mind was full of ideas and she was bursting with excitement to get started. She couldn't stop grinning as she settled onto the grass beside the hydrokinetic gem.

"Someone's in a good mood." Lapis laughed softly. "I take it you didn't break the phone then?" She asked in a teasing tone.

Jasper sent her a mock glare. "Your phone is fine." Then she grinned again. "It may be about to die though. I didn't know how to insert the charger and didn't want to risk it." She admitted sheepishly.

Lapis laughed again. "Don't worry. I'll show you."

"Thanks." Jasper said softly.

Lapis only grinned and together, they looked out to the horizon. A large grey cloud bank was moving towards them, glowing magnificently in deep gold and shades of pink and orange. "It's going to rain."

"Good thing we have a barn." Jasper joked.

Lapis hummed in agreement. "I like the rain. It makes everything smell so fresh and all of the growing things look so much greener afterwards."

"I like it too. Watching it pass by. The way the lightning dances in the clouds. I like feeling the wind too. It'll be different to experience it away from the sea." She said softly, feeling a pang of longing to see the beach again. She really did miss it. Watching all of the videos had only made it worse.

"It has a whole different type of beauty out here." Lapis murmured, but Jasper could hear the longing in her voice; she knew that Lapis missed the sea much more than she did.

Jasper sighed. Suddenly, an idea entered her mind. She wanted to return to the sea with Lapis. Maybe... maybe they could go together. Maybe they could help each other to not be afraid. She wanted it very much, but would Lapis? She hesitated, wondering whether or not she should offer, before trying to push her fear away. Lapis would hear her out, and the worst she could do was say no. "We should go back to the sea one day. Later, when we're ready. I think it would be good for us." She added in a rush, tugging at a few strands of grass nervously..

Lapis was silent for a long moment. Jasper felt her heart start to pound as she realized how her offer might have sounded. Dread filed her and she glanced over to see the hydrokinetic gem's reaction to her words. To her surprise, Lapis was smiling softly over at her. Her eyes glistened in the fading light.

"I'd like that." Lapis whispered. "One day."

Jasper felt herself blush with happiness. _Thank the stars!_ She thought to herself. She couldn't help but to smile. "It's a promise then?" She whispered back, holding out a pinky like she'd seen the actors do on Camp Pining Hearts.

Lapis nodded, smiling wider and held her pinky out as well. She hooked them together. "Its a promise." Lapis replied softly.

The warrior gem felt her chest fill with warmth and happiness as she and Lapis continued to smile at each other, fingers linked. She didn't want to let go. Slowly, she lowered their hands to the grass and turned back to the sunset, hoping that Lapis wouldn't pull away. She didn't and they sat like that until the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Still, Jasper didn't want to move, so she decided to wait until Lapis did. To her delight, Lapis continued to watch the clouds roll towards them. Jasper was thrilled and her heart was pounding. Why did the fact that Lapis wanted to spend time with her like this, doing nothing more than watch the clouds, make her so happy? She didn't know, but she knew that it did and that was enough for now. She sighed happily, feeling a smile tug at her lips. She was still smiling when it started to sprinkle and Lapis slowly pulled her hand away.

"Let's go in before we get drenched." Lapis said softly as she stood.

Jasper nodded up at her and rose to follow her into the barn. As they entered, Lapis yawned hugely. "Sleepy?" She asked, as she closed the big doors.

Lapis blushed. "I'm not used to going so long without sleeping nowadays. I've gotten used to it."

Jasper's heart sank and she looked away. "I didn't mean to make you stay away with me all this time."

Lapis shook her head. "It's not a bad thing. I... wanted to stay awake with you." She admitted. Jasper looked up to see her smiling again. "We've been having fun."

Jasper felt a wash of relief. "We have." She agreed. "But if you need to sleep, then sleep."

"Maybe in a little while. I want to watch the storm more for now." She said, turning to open the smaller door of the barn. "Want to watch it with me?" She asked tentatively.

Jasper grinned at Lapis' unsure tone; as if Jasper could actually say no to her when she asked. "I'd like that." She said, moving to lean against the door frame. Lapis leaned lightly against the other side and they silently watched the storm's progress.

The rain picked up, but it was a light storm in comparison to the last one Jasper had watched. The wind never got too strong and the thunder remained at a low rumble. Occasional flashes of lightning lit up the clouds, but none actually dipped towards the ground. It was a peaceful sight, but gorgeous nonetheless.

"You're right." She said after a while. "It is a different kind of beautiful here."

Lapis hummed in agreement and looked over with a small smile. "It is."

Jasper was suddenly acutely aware of how close they were. She could feel the fabric of Lapis' dress brushing against her legs in the slight wind. Static seemed to swirl in the air around her and she wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to step away or move closer. It was an odd sensation and it didn't make any sense. Their gazes locked and she could see a glint of surprise in Lapis' eyes as well. Jasper felt her skin tingle as they stared at each other for a long moment, before a dinging sound rang through the silence. Lapis blinked and looked towards the loft and Jasper's breath left in a rush. She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath.

Lapis looked confused and coalesced her wings before flying to the loft. Jasper followed her and climbed up to see Lapis looking at her phone with a sad smile. "What is it?" She asked softly.

Lapis turned the phone so she could see and she stepped closer to look. It was a picture of Steven with Pumpkin. The small creature had a ball in her mouth and both looked very happy. "Steven wanted to tell me that he taught Pumpkin to fetch." Lapis murmured, her tone melancholic.

"You miss them." Jasper whispered, trying to give Lapis an out to express the pain in her eyes.

The hydrokinetic gem sighed heavily, tears welling in her eyes. "I do, but it doesn't change anything."

Jasper was confused. "What do you mean?"

Lapis sighed again and went to sit on the couch, curling up and hugging her knees with one arm. She continued to look at the picture. Jasper followed and sat beside her as the slender gem took a shaky breath. "I left them." She said after a moment.

Jasper frowned. "You did what you thought you had to do." She said reassuringly. "Steven understands why you did it."

Lapis shook her head. "It doesn't change the fact that I abandoned him."

Jasper hated the self loathing tone of her voice. "You didn't abandon him. You came back, didn't you?" She said earnestly.

"And yet, I can't bring myself to really face him." Lapis said shakily, her breath catching in a small sob as her tears welled over.

"Why? He was so happy that you'd come back. He's already forgiven you. He told me that before you came even."

Lapis sniffled. "He did?"

Jasper nodded. "The only reason he hasn't come to visit more is because of the trouble with the corruptions that I told you about. The others are focused on the mission and don't want him leaving alone."

Lapis was silent for a moment. "Did he talk about me often?"

Jasper blushed and looked away. She had always been the one to bring the hydrokinetic gem up. "Kind've.." She murmured.

"What do you mean?"

Jasper sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, torn about what to say. Finally, she decided on the truth. "I was usually the one who brought you up." She said quickly, before she could change her mind.

"What?" Lapis' voice was confused.

"Well..." Jasper hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I... I wanted to know about you. About how you were... after... And about why you'd left." She stared at the floor, distracting herself from the feelings of embarrassment and fear by studying the patterns in the wood. "I was scared when I first reformed, because I didn't know you were gone. I... I didn't think you'd give me a chance and I really wanted to try being good." She winced, realizing how that sounded. She glanced up at the gem beside her. "I'm sorry." She couldn't read the expression on Lapis' face, but she didn't look angry, so she took solace in that fact.

Lapis looked away. "I don't know what I would have done before." She murmured. "You surprised me by showing up here so suddenly...I didn't know what to do."

Jasper grimaced. "I'm still sorry about that." She said earnestly. "I really don't know why the warp brought me here. I was aiming for the Beta Kindergarten. I'm glad it did bring me here though." She admitted softly.

"I'm glad it did too." Lapis replied, voice soft. They were silent for a moment. "So what all did you talk about?"

Jasper sighed again. It was time to tell Lapis about confessing to Steven. She should have done it sooner, but she never wanted to encroach on their happiness with thoughts of their fusion. Now was the time. "A lot of things. He wanted to know about Malachite." Lapis gasped and Jasper held up her hands and rushed on to explain. "He caught me off guard. I didn't ever mean to talk about her to him, but he pressed me. I..." She looked away, remembering the turmoil her mind had been in that night. "I wasn't in a good place... He was trying to make me feel better and mentioned you and it all... spilled out..." She whispered. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry."

"So he knows..." Lapis trailed off, her tone was infinitely sad.

Jasper looked over to see tears tracing down her face. She had made Lapis cry! Her heart wrenched in her chest. And she felt tears gather in her own eyes. "Oh, Lapis. I'm so sorry." She cried. "He doesn't think less of either of us. He was glad to know the truth. He cares about you so much..." She trailed off as Lapis sobbed. "I truly never meant to tell anyone about her. I'm really sorry."

Lapis took a deep breath. "It's okay." Her voice was thick with tears. "He needed to know. I understand why you needed to talk about … her."

Jasper shook her head. "No. If you didn't talk about her to him, then I shouldn't have. I felt like I'd betrayed you afterwards."

Lapis' head snapped around. "You didn't!" She said insistently. "I'm glad he knows now!" She cried.

Jasper felt her jaw drop in shock. "What?"

Lapis gave her a watery smile and sniffed. "Don't you see? Now that he knows, it'll be easier to talk to him. I couldn't bring myself to tell him, but I wanted him to know. Friends shouldn't have secrets. Now that he knows, I can stop wondering whether or not he'll hate me."

Jasper blinked, processing what she'd said. "He would never hate you, Lapis." Jasper said softly. "I don't think there's anything you could do that he wouldn't understand. Steven is a wonderful person and so are his friends. Even if the Crystal Gems didn't trust me, they do trust you."

Lapis frowned. "But they should trust you." She said firmly.

Jasper grinned wryly. "Whether they should or not, doesn't change that they don't. I really did try." She said, feeling the sting of their rejection all over again.

Lapis was still frowning. "You still haven't told me what they did that made you leave."

Jasper sighed. "It doesn't matter." She couldn't keep the bitterness from her tone.

Lapis unfolded her legs and leaned towards her. "It does to me."

Jasper fought the urge to look over at her. "I don't want you to think less of them. They can't help how they feel."

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't. If you don't tell me, then I won't know." Lapis said matter of factly. Jasper stayed silent and Lapis made a displeased sound. "If you won't tell me, then I'll just ask Steven."

Jasper looked over at her quickly, sitting up in shock. "Don't! It'll upset him again. He seems happy right now."

Lapis was still frowning. "Then tell me."

Jasper sighed again. Lapis was not going to let it go. "Okay, okay." She groaned. "It was Peridot that started it. She... doesn't like me much." Jasper hedged.

"Peridot?" Lapis looked confused, before her expression darkened. "What did she say?"

Jasper scratched the back of her neck. "It's not really her fault. She's got a reason to hate me." The warrior gem didn't really know why, but she felt the urge to protect the green gem, even though Peridot had hurt her.

"What reason could she possibly..." Lapis started in an indignant tone, before trailing off, her expression pained. "It's because of me, isn't it?"

Jasper grimaced, but nodded. "She blames me for how you were with her at first." She looked away. "She wasn't wrong."

"But it wasn't your fault, Jasper!" Lapis cried.

Jasper couldn't meet her eyes. She knew how much fault she had in their fusion."When I realized you hadn't told her about Malachite, I didn't want to say anything. I made that mistake with Steven and even though he promised not to say anything, I still felt horrible about it. I didn't want to tell her if you hadn't. It wasn't my place." She said firmly.

Lapis sighed. "You could have. It would have made things easier for you."

Jasper finally looked fully at her. "I don't care if they hate me. I know the truth and so do you. And so does Steven. That's what matters. No one else has to know."

Lapis looked over at her, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Maybe they do."

Jasper still hated to see her tears. "Why?"

"Because then they would give you another chance. You seemed so happy when I came." Lapis looked away, her eyes unfocused. "I never thought I'd see you again after the boat. I thought about you... about how I wanted to try to make things right, but I never thought I'd be able to. I had been hurting for so long..." She whispered, hugging herself as she trembled. "I'd been warring with myself. Trying to decide whether or not I should come back; even I even _could_ come back... But no matter how scared I was, I just couldn't stay away any longer. No matter how far away I got from Earth, something kept pulling me back. And then, when I finally worked up the courage to actually return..." She took a deep breath. "You know, I was actually here for awhile, before I went to the beach house." She said softly.

"Really?" Jasper asked, shocked.

Lapis nodded, still staring at nothing. "I kept wondering when would be the right time to go tell them I was here... Part of me was hoping they'd just show up, but they never did... Why would they? I didn't leave anything behind but a crater and sadness." She said bitterly. "But it was really nice being back here, even if I was alone. I knew I had to face them though, but I just couldn't make myself... and then I finally did..." She trailed off.

Jasper looked away with a grimace. "And I was there and ruined it for you." She sighed.

"I'm sorry for how I reacted." Lapis whispered. "I just never expected to see you and then you walked in with Steven on your shoulder. Laughing... looking so happy. I'd been suffering, missing him so much, and there he was... laughing with you..." Lapis shook herself. "I hate how I felt towards you in that moment."

Jasper shook her head. "You had every reason to react the way you did, Lapis. That's why I ran away." She admitted. "I didn't want to ruin you being there. I wanted you to be able to stay with Steven and the others, so I left."

Lapis sighed. "And then I left again."

Jasper felt her heart wrench again at the sound of the sadness and pain in her voice. "He understands that too. We talked about it... after. When you didn't come to the party."

Lapis sighed again. "I just couldn't go..."

Jasper looked over at her with a wry grin. "I know, but I get it. I was afraid to see you too." She admitted softly. "But I was going to do it for Steven. If it got too much, I was going to leave again and let you stay." She said earnestly.

Lapis looked at her, her expression soft. Tears shimmered in her eyes. "It wasn't only because of you, Jasper." She glanced away, picking at the hem of her dress. "It was a big reason, but not the only one."

Jasper leaned closer to her, wishing she could feel what the gem beside her was feeling, so that she could take it away. "Steven knows. He cares for you. He wants you to be happy. He said he was going to give you time."

Lapis' jaw began to tremble. "I just hate that I've hurt him so much." She whispered as her tears escaped, rolling down her cheeks in glistening lines.

Jasper felt tears prick her own eyes again. "I hurt him too. So have the others. We've all hurt each other. But I already told you what he said about that." She whispered. "We can make it right, one day."

Lapis looked up at her, blinking away her tears. Jasper felt a monumental wave of releif flow through her at the hope she saw shining in those navy eyes. She had finally said the right thing."I hope you're right." Lapis murmured.

Jasper smirked. "I _know_ I'm right." She said cockily.

Lapis threw her head back with a laugh. "How can I argue with such confidence?" She said to the air.

Jasper felt a warmth fill her chest. "You can't, so don't even try."

Lapis laughed again and then yawned hugely. "Now I'm even more exhausted."

"Go sleep." Jasper ordered softly. "I'll just watch Camp Pining Hearts while you sleep."

Lapis rubbed at her eyes. "I think I can make I through one episode with you. It'll be nice to think about something else as I fall asleep."

Jasper smiled at her and got up to switch out the tape and retrieve the remote. "Whatever you want, Lapis." She said softly as she settled back onto the couch. She handed Lapis the remote and received a small smile.

The hydrokinetic gem turned on the television and hit play on the next episode and the settled more comfortably on the couch to watch. Jasper kept glancing at the gem beside her and saw Lapis' yawn grow more frequent as the episode progressed. Lapis was stubbornly fighting sleep and her droopy eyes and sleepy expression made Jasper want to smile. It was cute. She suddenly remembered how Steven had done the same thing after they fought the canine and how Pearl had pulled him against her so that he stopped fighting. Maybe she should do that for Lapis? Their hugs always felt nice, so maybe that feeling would help her to sleep. Nervously, she reached over and put an arm around Lapis' dropping shoulders.

Lapis blinked over at her and Jasper smiled softly at her softly confused expression. "Come here, sleepyhead." She whispered, tugging Lapis towards her.

Lapis blinked again, before smiling and allowing Jasper to tug her closer. The slender gem curled against her side, head resting on the warrior gem's collarbone. Jasper wrapped her arm more firmly around her and her smiled stretched just a bit bigger as Lapis snaked arm arm around her waist and settled more firmly against her. Lapis sighed contentedly as they continued to watch the episode. It was only a few minutes later when Jasper heard a soft snore. She felt a flood of happiness and that now familiar bubbly feeling filled her chest.

They had cleared the air about a lot of things and Jasper felt like they were now closer than ever before. There were truly no secrets between them now. It felt good in this new way that was becoming more and more prevalent in her life now. She and Lapis could work everything out. Nothing would ever make Jasper trade the way she felt in this moment. She had never felt so connected to another being before. Even if there was a great darkness in their past, the light was chasing it further and further away; like the sun rising on a new day. The gentle storm still blew outside, and Jasper listened to the rain and Lapis' gentle snores as the episode ended and the screen faded to black.

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 **So, this chapter was again hard to write. I knew that Lapis and Jasper needed to have a more serious conversation, but I had no time to really sink into the world. I've only been able to catch snatches of time to work on the story between work, family, and heart-family (friends) obligations... I need coffee.**

 **Hopefully, you enjoyed. I'll keep updating when I can! Thank you guys so much for your continued support!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 24**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: I'M BACK! WEWT! So sorry for the long wait, loves! We'll talk more at the end!**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

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Jasper only realized she had fallen asleep, when she was woken by something moving atop her. She heard the faintest groan and blinked open her eyes. The sky was bright outside, lighting up the interior of the barn with a soft glow. She glanced down as whatever was on top of her moved again and her eyes shot wide with shock as she saw Lapis rubbing at her eyes and yawning. The events from last night came back in a rush and she remembered pulling Lapis against her as she fell asleep, but didn't remember much after the television had gone blank. She must have fallen asleep in the darkness, but that didn't explain how she was now lying, legs dangling over the far end of the couch, with Lapis curled atop her. Lapis blinked blearily a few times, before looking up at her and Jasper saw the same surprise she felt wash over the hydrokinetic gem's sleepy face. Belatedly, Jasper realized her arms were around the slender gem and she jerked them back as Lapis shot straight upright with a gasp. She darted to her feet and Jasper sat up in a rush, unable to look at the other gem. She knew her cheeks were burning and her heart was pounding so loudly that Lapis must be able to hear it.

"Sorry!" They both cried at the same time.

Jasper was so surprised that Lapis was apologizing too, that it pushed aside her acute embarrassment enough for her to look up at the hydrokinetic gem. Lapis was looking down at her in surprise as well, cheeks bright. It was the single-most awkward moment of her life. All of a sudden, she felt ridiculous. An involuntary smile tugged at her lips and she saw the corners of Lapis' mouth twitch as well. A moment later, they were laughing. Jasper laughed so hard she had to squeeze her eyes shut against tears. When she finally regained control of herself, she glanced back up at Lapis to see her wiping at the corners of her eyes, smiling hugely.

"Sorry." They said together again, causing another round of laughter.

Lapis sighed and flopped down on the couch beside her. "Only we could turn sleeping into an event." She murmured, laughter still filling her voice.

"We're bad at this." She murmured back, leaning back onto the couch and letting her head fall back.

"We are." Lapis agreed.

Jasper grinned over at her. "I didn't mean to use you as a blanket." She apologized softly.

Lapis smiled back. "I didn't mean to use you as a mattress."

"At least we're even then." Jasper quipped.

Lapis scoffed. "I was probably a much more comfortable blanket than you were a mattress."

Jasper affected a frown. "I am perfectly comfortable, thank you very much!" It was hard to hold the frown in place at the ridiculous statement, but she managed; barely.

The slender gem rose an eyebrow. "I was practically lying on stone with all those muscles you have." She stretched with an exaggerated grimace. "It'll take me all day to work out the kinks."

Jasper fought a blush at the sideways compliment. "Well, if you weren't so soft, I might not have used you for a blanket! We need to harden you up!"

They sat there, glaring at each other for exactly half a second, before the ridiculousness of their pretend argument won out, sending Jasper into another uncontrollable fit of laughter. Lapis was laughing with her and Jasper felt amazingly giddy. "What are we even doing?" Lapis laughed.

Jasper shook her head, her smile almost painfully big. "I have no idea."

They grinned at each other. Lapis stood after a moment and walked to the window. She leaned against the frame. Jasper sat and watched her, enjoying the smile still on the slender gem's face. Lapis looked relaxed and happy and it made her feel good. The sunlight lit up her figure radiantly and a gentle breeze made her short hair drift lazily, turning the strands of dark, blue a glistening gold. "We missed the sunrise." Lapis said after a moment, snapping Jasper out of her thoughts.

The warrior gem rose and joined her at the window. She looked out at the sunny day. Everything looked crisp and sharp, colors loud and cheerful. She closed her eyes and too a deep refreshing breath, as the clean scents of green, growing things and the soft, lingering scent of last night's rain blew around her with the wind. She felt amazing; energized. Maybe there really was something to this 'sleep' thing after all.

"Then we just have to make sure we don't miss the sunset to make up for it." She said softly.

"Definitely." Lapis agreed happily. "So, what are your plans for the day?"

Jasper suddenly remembered her desire to start on the sculpture for Lapis. "I picked out what I want to make next." She said excitedly.

Lapis hummed softly. "That's good."

Jasper detected something strange in her tone, but wasn't sure how to ask about it. "What do you want to do today?" She asked.

The hydrokinetic gem shook her head. "I'm not sure." She frowned. "I'm kindve at a block with my sculpture..." Her voice trailed off.

Jasper frowned. Something was off with Lapis. She'd been happy only moments ago. Jasper didn't like the slightly lost look in the slender gem's eyes and determined to chase it away. "Why don't we do something together?" She asked.

Lapis looked up at her. "Like what?"

Jasper shrugged, then laughed at her own foolishness. She'd been so eager to suggest something different that she hadn't thought of a plan first."No idea." She sent Lapis an abashed grin.

Lapis shook her head with a wry grin. "We'll think of something." She said, sounding amused.

"Why don't we watch Camp Pining Hearts?" Jasper suggested.

Lapis nodded, still grinning. Jasper changed the tape as the hydrokinetic gem retrieved the remote and sat down. Jasper decided to tease her a bit and made a grand gesture at the television. "Your entertainment awaits, your radiance." She cheesed.

Lapis snorted, before huffing in mock disdain. "I trust it will be to my liking?" She said with a pompous air.

"Nothing but the finest programming for your radiance, your radiance." She bowed again, unable to keep a silly grin from her face.

Lapis giggled. "Sit down, you ham."

Jasper rose from the bow and flopped down heavily beside the slender gem, grinning wider as Lapis made a sound of complaint at being jostled. She wiggled into a comfortable position, using much more forceful motions than necessary to jostle the indignant gem as much as possible. She flinched away, laughing, as Lapis made to hit her with the remote. Lapis made a show of getting comfortable again and huffed matter of factly as she started the episode. Jasper settled, resting her arm along the back of the couch and crossing her legs, smirking. Lapis was trying to act angry, but the corner of her mouth was twitching. Jasper had officially succeeded in making Lapis forget her melancholy. She was smugly proud of that fact.

Even though she was enjoying the way things were with Lapis now and was eager to make more things, she thought that she might have been neglecting the slender gem's feelings. Lapis had been alone for a long time. Suddenly, she realized that she was the gem Lapis had interacted with the most since her return to Earth. She had already admitted that it felt strange to be here without Peridot and how much she missed spending time with Steven. Lapis was lonely. Her heart sank. She'd been so busy enjoying this new side of life and learning things for herself to enjoy, that she hadn't thought about what Lapis might want. She always seemed so eager to do anything with Jasper, even if it was just something like what they were doing now. Jasper had only been thinking about her own enjoyment and not about Lapis. She wanted to hit herself. That would have to change. She needed to spend more time with Lapis. There had to be something she could do. She sighed heavily. She wasn't made for this kind of thing and she cursed herself.

"What's wrong?" Lapis asked from beside her.

Jasper looked over at her. "Just thinking." Lapis frowned in confusion and the warrior gem sighed again, letting her head fall against the back of the couch. She knew needed to say something, but what? "It's just... I never knew life could be like this. I never knew that there was something other than war and fighting..." She trailed off, wondering where this train of thought was taking her.

This was new; just talking aloud as her thoughts wandered. But she felt so relaxed with Lapis in this moment and wanted to share with her. She wanted to talk to her about the things inside her head that were new and confusing even as they were wonderful. And she felt now that she could mention their fusion without upsetting Lapis. Hadn't Steven said that talking about things was the only way to heal them? Garnet had said it too, and even if the fusion didn't trust her, Jasper still trusted Garnet.

So she continued, hoping it was truly the right thing to do. "You saw some of my past. Some of the things I said and did. You felt how I felt about them. Even though I hated myself, there were parts that I enjoyed... and … that vindictive pleasure and hatred became who I was. I didn't question it. I just accepted it, because I didn't know there was another way. Now that I do... it's like I'm starting over again. Like I'm freshly emerged. Only I've already been shaped into one thing, when I want to be something else." A sudden, ugly thought struck her. She looked over at Lapis taking in the hydrokinetic gem's pale skin and wide eyes. "You've felt the same way, haven't you?" And she knew it was true, even before Lapis' eyes went distant.

Lapis slowly nodded. "I've been reborn three times now..." She murmured quietly. "I was an ordinary Lapis Lazuli before the war. Everything was so simple before. Earth was the last of many future colonies I was sent to reshape. I destroyed so much and I never even saw it." She looked away, hugging herself. "And then, out of nowhere, a war was happening around me. Where was I supposed to go? What was I supposed to do? No one had ever told me what I should do in that situation. I'd never had to think for myself before. I was flying, searching for someone to tell me what to do, when suddenly... I wasn't anymore. I saw a colors and felt a flash of pain as I lost my physical form. I was so confused, I couldn't even reform. And then... I felt ...something. Something wrong. Like I was being violated in the worst possible way, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was in the mirror." She shuddered, hugging herself. Jasper hugged herself too, remembering the disjointed memories Lapis had inadvertently shared with her during their melding. From the blank look in Lapis' eyes, she was seeing them too. If just the pieces Jasper had gotten of it were bad, how much worse had actually experiencing it been? Even if reliving the memory was vivid, it could never be as vivid as the event itself. Lapis continued, her words tumbling out like a flood of pain. "I could see, even though I didn't have eyes. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I could only see. Faces. All around me. Staring down at me with those angry looks of disgust and fear. And then I could hear. They... forced me to show them things. Shouted at me... tortured me... called me a rebel. A Crystal Gem." She spat the words. "They wanted me to show them my base, but I wasn't a rebel, so I couldn't give them what they wanted. I had no way to tell them I wasn't what they thought I was. I was... trapped." Her voice was an agonized whisper. "On and on it went. There was no way for me to know how long it went on. All of the words and pain and pictures pulled from y mind all began to blur together. I had almost forgotten who I was when I heard the shouting. I didn't realize what it meant at first. They were all running, screaming. Afraid. I was terrified when I realized that the rebels were attacking. I was completely trapped. There was nothing I could do to defend myself. And then I was falling. And there was nothing but pain." In a sudden flash of movement that terrified Jasper, Lapis curled in on herself, grasping her hair and pulling it with a cry of despair. Jasper's heart was pounding so hard, she almost couldn't hear Lapis continue. "I'd never felt such agony! There was nothing but the pain. I couldn't even comprehend what I was seeing, but there was no way for me to _not_ see. I didn't have eyes to close. I couldn't make sense of the screams and the noise, but I couldn't _not_ hear it. And all the while I felt like I was shattering." She was trembling violently, eyes full of tears. Jasper wanted to stop her words, but she knew that Lapis wasn't finished. She knew the feeling and even if she wished she could end this journey of pain, she knew from experience that Lapis had to finish; once the flood gates were open, they couldn't be closed until the waters had run their course.

Lapis took a shaky breath and continued. "Eventually, I could think around the pain, but it was like my mind couldn't think more than a few steps at a time. I knew that I was damaged, but I didn't know how badly and there was nothing I could do to regenerate. I couldn't free myself. I was trapped. Existing and seeing and hearing. I was surrounded by discarded and broken things. It was appropriate." She gave a bitter laugh. "And then... I was found again." Her pained voice held a trace of wonder. "Someone was holding me. Talking to me. It was a creature I'd never seen before. It called itself Steven." She whispered. "I hadn't tried to communicate in so long that I'd forgotten how, but the more he talked to me, the more I could remember. He protected me from the Crystal Gems when they tried to destroy me. Ran away from them to keep me safe. I was terrified. I was helpless. I wanted so desperately to be free. I didn't know how to tell him how to free me, but as soon as I thought of him doing it, I knew how to show him. As soon as he began to remove me, I felt my power returning, felt the water respond to me again. But it hurt. It hurt so much!" She sobbed, tears wavering, still unshed in her eyes. "Pain stole every other sense and I knew that I was shattered... I welcomed it. It was finally over." She sobbed a laugh. "Except it wasn't. I had been unable to reform for so long, I almost didn't know how. But I did. I felt the wind on my skin and in my hair. The smell of the ocean was like coming home. I collapsed on the sand. I was totally, completely, utterly undone. I was free. And it was all thanks to Steven. I turned to him, thanking him, but before we could talk more, the Crystal gems were there." Her voice was a snarl, face contorted with so much rage that Jasper felt her heart skip a beat in fear. But Lapis wasn't looking at her, still caught up in the memories, and Jasper pushed the thread of fear away as the slender gem continued. "I was still damaged, but I could fight. I knew I needed to get away, but I couldn't leave Steven without offering him a way out. He refused." She sighed. "So I left him there. He was a Crystal gem after all." She shook her head. "And then I was alone. I was alone and I was damaged. I couldn't fly. Flying was half of who I was, but it had been stolen from me. I just wanted to go home. All I could think about was getting back to Homeworld, getting back to my Diamond. A hundred plans came to mind, but nothing would work. Finally, I decided that since Earth had taken my wings from me, I would use its water to go home." She gave a bitter laugh. "I was willing to destroy this entire planet to go back to the gems who had put me in that mirror in the first place. I was so stupid... I just didn't know it yet. And then, just as I thought I'd finally found my way, the Crystal Gems were there, trying to stop me. I wouldn't let them. Steven was with them. I felt so betrayed. I thought he was my friend, but he was just like them. I wasn't going to let anyone stop me." Her tone was dark and her eyes glinted like steel. Again, Jasper had to fight the urge to flinch away as Malachite flashed through her mind. But Lapis was still speaking, so she pushed aside the fear. Lapis was finally talking and she would listen. "I fought them. I was winning. But then Steven... did something. It was a sound... a feeling?" Her voice was unsure. "And I suddenly didn't want to fight anymore. When he said he was coming to speak to me... I let him. I wanted to try one more time to convince him that the Crystal Gems were evil... but... instead, he healed me." Her eyes were wide with the rekindled wonder Jasper knew she had felt in that moment. She had felt echoes of it herself while they were together. It was when that strange emotion Lapis had already begun to feel for Steven had truly taken root. "And then, I went home, carried the whole way by the foolish happiness to be returning... only to be taken prisoner once again." She sagged, her wonder fading into a deep sadness. "I was so stupid." She glanced over at Jasper. "I don't blame you for what happened next. For what lead to Malachite. I did it to myself. I just couldn't see it through all of the hatred. I wanted to die. I wanted to feel strong. I hated being a prisoner, and yet... I did the same thing to you. And no matter how much I try to change. That darkness that held us both down there... it's still here, Jasper." Lapis' hands clenched into fists over her heart, as if it hurt too much to bear. Her face was etched with pain and despair. "And no matter how much I try to fight it, I can feel it... gnawing at me like insects in a tree. I'm... empty inside..." Lapis trailed off, her voice cracking with a sob.

Jasper's heart felt like it was tearing itself apart. She had started this. Even if she hadn't meant to, the pain Lapis was feeling right now was her fault. Steven had said that talking led to healing, but seeing Lapis like this, made her hate herself even more. How was this healing? This was just hurting. She reached for Lapis, disregarding the tiny trickle of fear in her gut. Lapis jerked violently at her touch and the warrior gem had to force herself not to flinch away as Lapis turned on her, face awash with pain and fear. Her eyes flashed with an emotion Jasper could not recognize. She expected to be rebuffed, but was utterly surprised as Lapis seemed to crumple into her arms. She felt Lapis' trembling fingers dig into her shirt as the slender gem succumbed to heavy sobs. Jasper immediately wrapped her arms around the sobbing gem and pulled her close. Lapis buried her face into the warrior gem's neck and Jasper closed her eyes as she felt hot tears on her skin. She might not be able to take those tears away, but she could offer comfort until they were gone.

"You're not empty, Lapis." She murmured, speaking almost without thinking. "You are strong. You are talented. You create beauty out of nothing and you try so hard at everything you do. You keep your emotions bottled, because you don't want to hurt anyone else, but then you end up hurting them anyway by pushing them away and don't know how to make it right. You're awkward and you sometimes make bad jokes." She felt Lapis' sobs begin to slow and smiled softly. "You're graceful. You're a good friend." She ran her fingers through Lapis' soft tresses as she spoke. "There may be a darkness inside of you, but when I look at you, all I see is the light." She whispered. "I've told you before, and I'll tell you again as many times as I need to. You're my light, Lapis." The slender gem pulled slightly away, blinking up at her through her tears. Jasper brought a hand up and cupped the slender gem's wet cheek. "Any time you feel like the darkness is growing, you come to me and I'll remind you of that." She said softly.

Lapis sniffled. "You will?" She hiccuped.

Jasper nodded, smiling just a bit wider. "No matter how long it takes, I'll _make_ you believe you're a good person."

Lapis looked away, cheeks flushing. " _You're_ the good person. I'm just me." She muttered.

But Jasper could see the gratitude in Lapis' expression. A change of mood was in order. She grasped Lapis' shoulders and squeezed lightly, drawing Lapis' attention. "I am a good person. Say it." She ordered softly. Lapis blushed brighter and looked away. "Uh uh. No evading." Jasper shook her lightly. Lapis pursed her lips together against a smile and pushed halfheartedly at the warrior gem's chest. "Since you're being a brat, we have to refine it! I, Lapis Lazuli of the Highest Radiance, am a good person. Say it." Lapis squeezed her lips together even tighter. "Don't make me use my secret weapon!" Jasper mock threatened.

Lapis laughed softly. "You don't have a secret weapon." She challenged, slanting a look at Jasper. The warrior gem smirked widely, before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around the surprised gem before she could react. Lapis tried to push away. "Let go!" She cried, amusement coloring her protest.

Jasper squeezed her tighter. "I won't let go until you say it." She threatened in a sing-song tone.

Lapis laughed and struggled harder. "Let me go, you idiot!"

Jasper chuckled and squeezed tighter. "Nope! You have to say it. I, Lapis Lazuli of the Highest Radiance, am a good gem!"

"I am not saying that! It sounds stupid!" Lapis protested, still laughing.

Jasper smirked wider. "It's not stupid if it's true." She said softly.

Lapis ceased struggling and relaxed against her. "I'm still not saying it." She said just as softly.

"Then I won't let go."

"We'll be here awhile then."

"Fine by me." The warrior gem said matter-of-factly. She settled more comfortable onto the couch, pulling Lapis with her.

Lapis smacked Jasper's shoulder lightly. "Stubborn."

Jasper chuckled. "You know it."

"At least let me get my phone. We can watch videos on TubeTube while I'm being held hostage." the slender gem said dryly.

"I'll get it." The warrior replied, unable to keep the amusement from her voice at what she planned to do. She got up, still holding onto Lapis, who cried out and tried to struggle out of her arms as she walked to the box the phone was lying on.

"You are impossible!" Lapis cried as Jasper settled back onto the couch, carefully depositing the slender gem into her lap.

"A jasper never gives up." The warrior gem quoted cockily, rearranging her grip as Lapis made herself comfortable. For all she was protesting, she could tell that Lapis was happy about the attention and that pleased her greatly.

"What should we watch?"

Jasper shrugged. "You know more about the program than me. You pick."

Lapis hummed softly. "Let's just go with a recommended video and see where it takes us."

"Fine by me." She wiggled a little to get more comfortable and squeezed her arms around Lapis' waist softly as the slender gem settled back into her. Lapis let her head fall back onto Jasper's shoulder as she clicked a video and Jasper sighed contentedly as she saw the hydrokinetic gem's happily relaxed expression. It felt good.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **Let me start by saying THANK YOU! Thanks for sticking with me through these hiatus periods. I still think about this story all the time, life is just crazy right now. I've moved again, gone through a career change, tamed a feral kitten (with LOTS of scratch scars to prove it) and now have a fine little tom who just wants attention constantly. He is, at this very moment, clawing the utter CRAP out of my leg. Bit hard to focus, so my bad.**

 **Things are finally starting to calm down though, so that means my writing can kick back up. I'm so happy about this! Still probably gonna be slow for a bit, but hopefully the break won't be nearly as long. Jasper still has a LONG way to go, so thanks for coming along so far and I hope to see you til the end!**

 **Stay safe and read on! Until next time, Loves! Ja!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 25**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU! You guys are amazing, seriously! Thank you for supporting this story and continuing to read! ANYWAY! I'll blather more at the end!**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

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Jasper sighed happily as she stepped back to survey her sculpture, flexing her aching hands. Her hands were large and were cramping constantly as she worked with the smaller tools this project required. She wanted something Lapis could put anywhere she wanted to, so she had decided to keep the size to a minimum. Since this project was much smaller than the bear, she had also decided to bring it inside, where she could work on it quietly on the nights Lapis slept and be able to spend more time with the hydrokinetic gem when she was awake and not working on her own sculpture. The warrior gem had cleaned out a corner, placed a table there, and blocked it from sight with a few large strips of fabric, using a small, but bright lamp to illuminate her work. She was taking much more time with this one and was trying to ensure that every piece of it was perfect for Lapis. The kelp frond idea had worked perfectly and, though she felt very nervous as she added the finer details to her swimming whales and manta rays, lest she press to hard and break any of them free, it was coming along swimmingly. She chuckled to herself at the mental pun and began again.

She was fully engrossed in her task, when she heard a ding from Lapis' phone. She laid down her tools and jumped up to the loft. She and Lapis had left it on the couch earlier and, as she picked it up, she saw that it was another message from Steven. He had sent her several over the past few days. She sighed. Though Lapis loved Steven, his messages always made her melancholy. But, even though she knew it would make Lapis sad, any message from Steven was important. She needed to know he still cared about her, even if she wasn't yet ready to reply. Resolutely, she grasped the phone, tucked it into the pocket of the belt she had started wearing for her tools. and jumped down. She exited the barn and started jogging towards Lapis' sculpture.

"Lapis!" She cried. "La-" She topped the hill and tried to cut back her cry as she saw Lapis balancing from a support on the side of the sculpture, leaning precariously forwards to tie a knot to the corner of one pane, but it was too late.

Her cry had startled the hydrokinetic gem and Lapis toppled forwards, tugging the pane with her as she went. Jasper's heart stopped and she cried out as she rushed to her aide, even knowing she wouldn't make it in time. A huge crack split the air just before Lapis caught herself with her wings and the air was suddenly full of falling glass. The sound of it shattering was almost deafening. Jasper trailed to a stop as she comprehended what she had just done. Lapis was still hovering in the air, her back to the warrior gem, but Jasper could see her trembling.

" _Lapis_!" Jasper gasped, unable to say more than her name. Her heart felt like it was turning to stone as she took in the destruction her interruption had caused. She swallowed hard and walked closer as the trembling hydrokinetic gem came slowly to land, bare feet just inches from the sea of broken glass. "Lapis, I'm sorry." She whispered earnestly.

"It's broken..." Lapis whispered, her voice a wavering breath of sound. Her wings drooped heavily, before dissolving.

Jasper moved closer, reaching out to put a hand on Lapis' trembling shoulder. "I didn't mean -" She started.

" _No_!" Lapis whirled around suddenly, startling the warrior gem. Her eyes were wild with grief and anger and glistened with tears. "Don't touch me!" Her voice was ragged with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry!" Jasper cried, voice cracking with the strength of her roiling emotions, " Maybe we can fix it?" She asked, even knowing it was impossible, but willing to try anything to help fix what she'd done wrong.

Lapis shook her head wildly, hair flying. "It's broken now!" She screamed as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

Jasper's heart twisted at the sight of her tears. Once again, she had made Lapis cry. "I'm so-"

" _No_!" Lapis cut her off.

Jasper reached for her again, wanting so badly to offer comfort.. "Please, Lapis."

The hydrokinetic gem darted backwards, bare feet crushing the broken glass shards beneath them. Jasper gasped as she saw blood immediately beginning to pool on the shards. "Your feet, Lapis!" She cried, stepping forward, hands out helplessly.

" _Just leave e alone_!" Lapis screamed again, wings coalescing They flared above her head for a moment and Lapis sobbed, before taking off in a rush of air.

Jasper could do nothing but watch her fly away, mouth agape in horror and sorrow. She felt tears gather in her own eyes and begin to fall as her sharp hearing picked up more sobs fading into the distance as Lapis flew jerkily away. The warrior gem fell to her knees in front of the bloody glass. Trembling, she reached out and picked up one of the bloody shards.

"What have I done?" She whispered. But she knew what she had done.

She had hurt Lapis and destroyed the beautiful creation that the hydrokinetic gem had poured _weeks_ of work into in a matter of seconds. A flash of self loathing coursed through her as she stared as Lapis' blood as it dripped from the shard onto her skin. Lapis' blood was on her hands. Again. She felt something inside of her die with a scream of pain.

She screamed aloud, fist closing over the shard and crushing it, ignoring how it cut into her hand before shattering into dust. One by one, she picked up each of the bloody shards and did the same thing, until every single one was nothing but a pile of gritty, bloody dust. She stared at the lacerations on her hand and her own blood mixing with Lapis' on her skin. It hurt, but she welcomed the pain, because she deserved it. Steven couldn't heal her this time; she wouldn't have let him even if he was here to offer.

She looked around at the destruction, hating herself more and more every second. She saw the broken section of frame that had snapped when Lapis had fallen and walked around the broken glass to pick up the two pieces. If a fit of petty rage she threw them as hard as she could and watched them soar, whistling, through the air and out of sight. She then turned back to the destruction and sighed heavily. How could she possibly make this up to Lapis? Her heart twisted further. There wasn't a way. She sobbed as the reality of how badly she had hurt Lapis hit her once again. Maybe she should leave. If she hadn't been here, this never would have happened. Destruction and pain seemed to follow her wherever she went. Lapis didn't deserve to suffer it with her. She felt like the yawning void inside her had ripped back open tenfold at the thought of leaving, but what choice did she have. It was the best decision she could make.

An image of Lapis' lonely expression flashed through her mind, stilling her train of thought. If she left, Lapis would be alone again too. Could she do that to Lapis? Could she leave her like this? Running away would solve nothing, she realized; it would only make things worse. She sighed heavily and looked back at the horrendous mess she'd made of Lapis' work. She decided to at least clean up the mess she had made. At least Lapis wouldn't have to come back to see the horrible sight of her destroyed creation.

As she stared longer, she realized that not all of the panes had broken and some of the pieces of others were quite large and had a sudden idea. Maybe she _could_ put it back together, at least partially. It wouldn't look anywhere near the same, but she would try. It was all she could think of to do. With a heavy heart, she picked up one of the intact pieces of frame and began to attach it back to the base.

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Hours later, Jasper finally felt a semblance calmer. She was still wracked with guilt and sadness, but she was pushing it away as she concentrated on making the best of the mess she had made, stopping only to go retrieve a sturdy ladder and cloths to wipe her bleeding hands on so that she wouldn't taint the glass. Hopefully, it would at least be a start to making amends. The full moon provided plenty of illumination and she planned to do as much as she could to fix her mistake by the time Lapis returned. A seed of worry had planted itself in her heart as the sun had begun to set, but she knew that wherever Lapis was, she needed time.

All of the intact panes were hung, though all of them were cracked, some more than others. A few others had broken into only a few large pieces and she had done her best to hang them so that they almost seemed intact. It was a fraction of what it had been before, but maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to make Lapis at least a little less sad. Now, she needed to figure out what to do with the rest of the glass. Throwing it away seemed wrong. She sighed and went to retrieve a box to store it in.

As she topped the hill on her way back to the sculpture, she saw a figure and froze. Her heart leapt as she realized that Lapis had returned. Then it sank again. Lapis was staring at Jasper's attempt to recreate her work. The warrior gem couldn't see her expression, but as she looked over her attempt, she saw just how horrible it was. Before she could decide what to do next, Lapis turned and saw her on the hill. Jasper saw the slender gem's wings coalesce and braced herself as Lapis flew to her. The slender gem's expression was blank as she flared to a quick stop directly in front of her, wincing sharply as she gently lowered herself to stand.

She said nothing and a tense silence stretched between them. Jasper swallowed against the sudden dryness of her mouth. She was afraid to break the silence and shifted the box in her hands as she fought the urge to squirm under Lapis' intense stare. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry." She burst. "I didn't think about you being at work on your sculpture when I called out to you. And I'm sorry that I startled you and made you break it. I didn't mean for it to happen Lapis, I swear." Lapis was still staring up at her, showing no reaction to her words. Jasper's heart felt like it was twisting itself apart and she couldn't stop apologizing. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over. She averted her eyes, squeezing the box so hard the wood of it creaked in protest, ignoring the flash of pain in her hands. "I was working inside, when I heard your phone go off. It was a message from Steven. It could have waited. I know that now, but I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to bring you the message and I ruined everything." She sobbed. "And then I tried to fix it and just made it worse. I should have just left it alone, but I wanted to try to make it better and it was selfish of me and I'm really sorry and-" A soft touch on her hand stilled her words and she looked back to see Lapis staring up at her, eyes shining with tears. "I'm sorry." Jasper whispered again, voice breaking in a sob.

Still not saying a word, Lapis tugged at the warrior gem's hand. Jasper let go of the box and let Lapis turn her hand over. The slender gem stared at the lacerations there and Jasper couldn't fight a hiss as Lapis gently ran her fingers over the largest one.

"Jasper, your hands..." She whispered. 'They're hurt."

Jasper shook her head. "They're fine. They'll heal." And then she remembered Lapis' injuries. "How are your feet?" She asked.

Lapis looked up at her, a tear trailing down her face. "They're fine."

Jasper frowned. Lapis' feet had bled a good bit. She knew they weren't fine. She knew she had no right to ask the gem before her to do anything for her, but still, she had to ask. "Can.. can I see them?" Lapis' expression was unfathomable, but she nodded slowly and Jasper felt the tightness in her chest ease the tiniest bit. "Inside?" She asked tentatively.

Again, Lapis nodded. Slowly, she stepped around the warrior gem and took a few steps towards the barn, still holding Jasper's hand lightly in hers. Jasper heard a low hiss of pain and saw Lapis falter and she moved without thinking. She, dropped the box and swept Lapis off of her feet, cradling the slender gem in her arms. Lapis gasped in surprise, hands clutching at Jasper's shirt.

Jasper froze, realizing belatedly that she should have asked before reacting. She glanced down to see Lapis looking at her in shock. "Sorry! I just don't want you to hurt your feet any more." She blurted.

Lapis blinked at her, before looking away, a blush flaring to life on her cheeks. "It's okay."

Jasper sighed in relief and started walking swiftly towards the barn. "The couch okay?" She asked lightly. Again, Lapis nodded and Jasper squeezed her more firmly before leaping up to the loft. She knelt and deposited the slender gem on the couch, before standing. "I'm going to get a lamp and the bandages. I'll be right back." She said softly.

Lapis said nothing, but settled more comfortably onto the couch, so Jasper jumped down and dug one of the many lanterns they'd found and the box that contained the medical supplies Lapis had used to treat her cut the day she started working on her bear. She paused for a moment, realizing how long ago that felt. Had it really only been two weeks? And then she blinked again as she realized she'd only been here with Lapis for a little over a month. It felt like so much longer. She shook herself free of the thought. Lapis was hurting and waiting on her.

She jumped back up to the loft and saw Lapis in the position she'd left her in. They hydrokinetic gem was looking down at the floor, eyes distant. Jasper approached slowly and sat on the floor in front of her. She switched on the lamp, opened the box and then slowly reached for Lapis' ankle. Slowly, she lifted it and winced as she saw the wounds on her foot. They definitely were _not_ fine. She could see pieces of glass glistening through the crusted blood.

"I need to get the glass out." She rasped, voice thick with the sudden sadness she felt. She had put these wounds here. She had caused Lapis this pain. And now she had to cause her more pain to fix it. The irony made her want to hit herself.

Lapis sat up slightly. "I can do it."

Jasper shook her head, griping the slender ankle she held more firmly as Lapis tried to pull it away. "Let me." She looked up at the gem before her, trying hard not to let herself tear up. "Please." She whispered as Lapis opened her mouth to reply.

She needed to do this. Lapis couldn't treat these wounds herself. She knew that they could regenerate, but it was a slow process unless they reverted to their gems. The warrior gem knew that Lapis didn't want to do that as much as she herself didn't want to do it; neither of them liked being completely helpless.

Lapis paused, before letting herself relax back onto the couch. "Okay."

Jasper swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Thank you." She whispered.

She used her free hand to dig for the small tweezers in the box and then took a deep breath before pulling the first glass shard free. Lapis hissed, but didn't pull away and Jasper sent her an apologetic look. Lapis gave her a grim nod and then closed her eyes. Jasper dropped the shard into the lid of the box and repeated the painful process, ignoring how manipulating the tweezers hurt her hands. Lapis never made another sound and Jasper knew she was biting them back to spare her, which, in it's own way, hurt worse. Time seemed to slow as she worked meticulously to remove the glass from both of her feet and to clean and dress each one with gauze. When she was done, Lapis let out a heavy sigh of relief and went limp on the couch. Jasper continued to sit there with Lapis' bandaged feet in her lap, cradling them in her bleeding hands. A few tears escaped, but she refused to cry fully. Lapis was in so much more pain than she was and she hated it.

She wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come. The silence began to weigh on her. After a few moments, she was finally able to force herself to speak. "I'm so sorry, Lapis."

Lapis blinked open her eyes and Jasper was dismayed to see how tired she looked. She was surprised when Lapis gave her a soft smile. "Come here, Jasper." She whispered, patting the couch beside her. Jasper blinked in surprise, but gently set Lapis' feet on the floor and slowly moved to sit beside her. "Give me your hands." She ordered softly.

Jasper was about to protest, but Lapis gave her a firm look and the warrior gem acquiesced and held them out. Lapis grasped one and turned it slowly in the light. Jasper gritted her teeth as Lapis reached for the tweezers and began to remove the glass shards that had embedded themselves there. She closed her eyes, trying not to react to the pain as Lapis treated her wounds. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Lapis tied the last piece of gauze into place. Jasper relaxed with a sigh of relief and opened her eyes.

Everything felt so surreal in this moment. Maybe the pain had made her lightheaded, or maybe she had exhausted herself trying to fix her mistakes, but she was suddenly drained. It felt oddly peaceful as Lapis cradled her large hands in her smaller ones.

"I'm sorry, Jasper." Lapis' voice was so quiet, Jasper almost thought that she'd imagined the words, but then she saw tears beginning to trail down the slender gem's cheek.

She immediately cupped Lapis' cheek with one hand, feeling her hot tears soak into the bandage and sting the wound beneath. "Please don't cry." She said earnestly. "What happened today was my fault. All of this is my fault."

Lapis sniffled and shook her head lightly. "I shouldn't have been so careless. If I hadn't been standing like that, I wouldn't have fallen when you startled me." She choked on a sob.

Jasper leaned towards her, cupping her cheek more firmly. "No. I should have known I'd startle you. I should have checked to make sure you weren't in a vulnerable position before I called out to you."

Lapis shook her head again and looked up with a pained expression. "I knew I shouldn't have extended it that far up in the first place. It was too unstable. If I'd've kept it the height it was before, this wouldn't have happened." She cried.

"You were just making something beautiful." Jasper said firmly. "I'm the one who did this. I'm bad, Lapis." She fought a sob and pulled away, hating the fact that Lapis could ever think any of this was her fault. "I should leave." She felt the words settle into her chest like a stone.

"No!" Lapis' sharp cry cut through her thoughts. "You can't!"

Jasper looked over to see Lapis looking at her with an expression of acute desperation. "But you're hurt now because of me!" She protested.

Lapis shook her head. "No!" She cried again.

She suddenly leaned forward, pressing her face into Jasper's chest. Jasper was so surprised, she couldn't react, but when Lapis started to sob in earnest, she moved without thought. She wound her arms around Lapis' trembling form and pulled the slender gem into her lap. Lapis moved with her, wrapping her arms around the warrior gem's shoulders and curling into her lap, so that Jasper was cradling all of her in a firm embrace.

"Please don't leave." Lapis' plea was like a jagged blade to the warrior gem's heart.

She could never deny anything Lapis asked of her. There was only one thing she could say. "I'll stay." She whispered, squeezing the gem in her arms tighter.

Lapis' breath hitched and she buried her face more firmly into Jasper's chest, fingers clutching into her shoulders. "Thank you."

Jasper couldn't fight her sobs any longer. Her self hatred and guilt mixed with the relief that Lapis was here, accepting comfort from her and asking her to stay after what she had done, was simply too much. She was so grateful for this moment, even as she hated the fact that Lapis was crying two. The two conflicting emotions warred within her, until there was nothing left but tears and the feel of Lapis in her arms. She had never felt more broken or more complete than she did in this one wondrous, painful moment.

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 **First off, thank you all again SO much! I love you guys. I am so grateful to all of you for taking the time to to make this journey with me. I know I say it every time, but we still have a long way to go!**

 **Also, since some of you mentioned my new furbaby in the comments, I'll update. I have dubbed him Spook because he is still so very skittish, but he is coming along swimmingly and growing like a weed. I can't wait to enjoy watching him grow even more.**

 **I also (giant fist pump) landed the new job, so that means two jobs and less time to write, but I'll still get as much in as I can. I'm in a state of continual exhaustion, but I couldn't be happier. I've written a few future scenes because I just HAD to get them down, so there is no way we aren't getting there. Squee! I've said it a ton and I'll say it again, thank you all so much. But that's all from me for now.**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 26**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT! I lerv ya! More at the end!**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

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Jasper smiled widely as the sound of Lapis' laughter chimed in the air. "Your turn." She said happily, wiggling her back to settle more comfortably on the grass beneath her.

Lapis hummed through her laughter. "Okay." She paused for a moment, and Jasper waited, smiling in anticipation.

The both of them had spent the last two days inside on the couch, recuperating from their wounds and were now simply enjoying being outside. Since Lapis' feet were still very tender, Jasper had suggested that they cloud-gaze until sunset and Lapis had readily agreed. Fondly, the warrior gem remembered the day Steven had taught her about imagination and decided to play the same game with Lapis. The slender gem was exceptionally good at it, so Jasper knew she wouldn't have to wait long.

"There's one!" Lapis cried a moment later, pointing. "It looks like a startled turtle!" She giggled.

Jasper furrowed her brows, searching the clouds for the shape Lapis had described. "Where?"

"Look right there!" Lapis said again, still pointing.

Jasper scooted closer to the slender gem, eyes following the line of her arm and then she could see it. A bumpy cloud with a large puff on one side. She looked closer and saw how it looked like the cloud turtle's mouth was open wide in a gasp. She snorted and then laughed.

"It looks so silly!" She cried.

"I know!" Lapis laughed with her.

Jasper couldn't resist letting her head fall to the side and giving the gem beside her a huge grin when their eyes met. "I told you this was fun." She said with an exaggerated wink.

Lapis rolled her eyes and looked back up to the sky with an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. Since I know how much you like to hear it; you were right."

Jasper's grin got wider. "What was that?" She said, leaning up slightly and cupping her hand over her ear as if she was having trouble hearing. "I couldn't quite make that out."

Lapis' head tilted back with a laugh. "Hush!" She cried, lifting a hand to push at the warrior gem's shoulder. Jasper feigned hurt and flopped over as if Lapis' gentle push had sent her reeling, triggering another laugh from the slender gem.

The warrior gem sighed contentedly and relaxed back onto the grass. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the fresh air. A gentle breeze stirred the air, tickling her skin and slightly muting the sun's heat. It was a perfect day; in more ways than one. She and Lapis had spent much of the last two days in silence, watching videos on Lapis' phone and sleeping. They hadn't even watched the sunrises or sunsets. To Jasper, it had felt like there was some kind of barrier between them, even though they were right next to each other. She didn't like it. But now, lying here on the grass and enjoying the sun, it finally felt like they were getting back to how they had been before the 'accident' as Jasper had dubbed it in her mind. They hadn't talked about what they would do with the mess when Jasper felt that Lapis was healed enough to be on her feet more, but she knew that it was coming. The dread of it was the only taint to the perfection of the moment and she was doing her best not to focus on it.

She heard Lapis sigh from beside her and she blinked open her eyes to look over at the slender gem. Lapis was still on her back, a small smile still playing on her lips. Her eyes were closed, hands relaxed at her side. She looked so content. It made Jasper's heart swell to finally see Lapis looking happy again. These two days had felt so very long and she was glad they were over, at least for now.

Lapis blinked her eyes open slowly and looked over at her. She sent a slow, lazy smile Jasper's way and the warrior gem felt her heart skip a beat in her chest. She blushed and didn't know why. Her mouth felt dry and she suddenly felt the urge to twitch as Lapis continued to stare at her, smile widening ever so slightly. ""What are you thinking right now?" Lapis whispered.

And just like that, Jasper's mysterious fit of nerves faded. This was Lapis. There was no need for her to feel nervous. "That I'm happy." She responded, returning the happy smile.

Lapis beamed at her. "I'm happy too."

"Really?" Jasper asked, surprised.

Lapis nodded and looked back up at the sky. "I'm still sad about a lot of things. And I feel like there's more I should be doing..." She trailed off with a frown. "But... somehow it feels like this os more important than all that."

Jasper blinked, furrowing her brows in confusion. "What is?" She asked gently.

Lapis raised her arms to the sky and spread them wide. "This. Earth. Simply enjoying it and being at peace. It feels important somehow."

Jasper was astonished to hear Lapis say aloud the thoughts she'd been having recently. She knew that Steven and the Crystal Gems were working to solve a mystery, She knew that war was coming sometime in the future. She knew all of that, but yet, these quiet days with Lapis held more importance than any of it. Hearing that Lapis felt the same made her happy and sad at the same time. It was a strange, bittersweet feeling.

"I feel the same way." Her voice was thick with a multitude of emotion.

"Really?" Lapis blinked over at her in surprise.

Jasper nodded, sending her a reassuring smile. "I know there's more out there than this." She looked up to the sky, crossing her hands over her chest. "I know that Steven and the others are fighting for this planet. They could even be fighting right now. And I know that I was _made_ to fight. Fighting has always been my purpose." She sighed. "But fighting doesn't feel important to me now. Maybe it's selfish that I'm not helping them. Maybe I'm deluding myself into thinking I can be something other than a warrior in the end, but... " She trailed off, hands grasping in the air as she tried to find the right words. "There's just so much I want to learn!" She finally burst. "I want to learn so many things. And maybe I'll never know all that I want to know, or do everything I want to do, but it's … okay." She smiled up at the clouds. "It feels like it's okay that I don't, because while I don't know, there's always still another mystery to solve. I just want to do things at my own pace for a change and do what I want, instead of what I think the universe expects of me. And I'm happy with that choice. Even if it selfish, It feels..." She trailed off again.

"It feels _right_." Lapis murmured.

Jasper looked over to see that Lapis had sat up and was looking over at her, eyes glistening in the late afternoon light. Jasper smiled up at her, her heart swelling with happiness as Lapis smiled back at her. "Yeah. It feels right." And it did. It felt right. She sat up too and looked out at the horizon. "I don't know all of what's out there, but I know here is where I want to be." The words came before she thought them, but they felt right too.

Lapis leaned over and gently bumped her shoulder to Jasper's arm. "Who knew you could be such a softie?" The slender gem teased.

Even though the words were cajoling, Jasper could hear the gratefulness in Lapis' tone and it made her smile widen. "I think you may be rubbing off on me. I may have to go punch something so I don't become a nerd like you." She shot back, directing a quick wink over at the gem beside her.

Lapis' jaw dropped and she gaped up at the warrior gem in shock. "Hey!" She cried. "I'm not a nerd!" She pouted, but Jasper could see her fighting a smile.

"Oh, you _so_ are." She teased. "But that's okay. Turns out I really like nerds." She grinned.

Lapis snorted and shot a punch at her arm. "Ham!" She cried.

"Don't forget the cheese!" Jasper responded, widening her smile as far as it would go.

The slender gem laughed. "If I'm a nerd then you're a dork."

Jasper gasped in mock affront. "I beg your pardon!" She affected a glare at the slender gem.

Lapis nodded, still laughing. "It's okay. Turns out, I really like dorks!" She sent Jasper a cheesy smile and the warrior gem couldn't hold on to her fake glare.

She huffed and looked back out over the horizon. "Hush. You're gonna make me miss the sunset." She grumbled, pursing her lips to fight a smile.

Lapis hummed. "You're only huffy because you know it's true!" She chimed.

Jasper rolled her eyes and then smirked. She reached down and plucked a few blades of grass and threw them at the gem beside her. She laughed as Lapis immediately began to sputter. "Jasper!"

The warrior gem grinned at her petulant tone before her face was suddenly full of grass. She sputtered wildly as a few blades went into her mouth and began wiping at her face, trying to keep them from her eyes. "Oh, it's on now!" She cried, pulling up a larger handful.

Lapis ducked with a gasp, holding her hands in front of her face to shield it. Jasper very matter of factly lifted her hand and sprinkled the grass on the top of her head. The hydrokinetic gem glared at her over her hands. "Well, would you look at that. Natural is a good look for you." She chuckled, remembering the line from Camp Pining Hearts.

Lapis pouted and then smirked. The sudden, mischievous glint in her eyes made the warrior gem highly uncomfortable. Very nonchalant, Lapis raised a hand and Jasper gulped when she heard the telltale sound of rushing water. A wavering shadow passed over her and she very slowly looked up, already knowing what she would see. Lapis had pulled a section of water from the sunken pool outside and was holding it suspended over her head.

"I still see some grass on you, Jasper. Since I'm the one who put it there, maybe I should help you clean up. It's what friends do, isn't it?" Her tone was overly sweet and very deliberate.

Jasper gaped over at her. "You wouldn't?" She gasped.

Lapis' smirk widened to a slightly evil looking grin. "Wouldn't I?"

Jasper flinched as the giant globule of water dipped closer to her. "Please don't." She begged. She clasped her hands together and held them out in a beseeching manner. "I'm a dork. The biggest dork there is."

Lapis raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Jasper gulped. The thought of being drenched was highly uncomfortable. And the sun was setting so she would be damp for hours if Lapis followed through with her threat. "And I'm sorry for throwing grass on you!?" She tried.

"And?" The hydrokinetic gem drew out the word foreboding.

"And ..." Jasper trialed off, trying to think of something else to say. She decided to er on the side of amusement. "And I'll never question your radiance again?" She squeaked, flinching away from the thought of the water dropping on her.

"I supposed that will do." Lapis said in a pompous tone.

Jasper breathed a sigh of relief as the shadow passed back over her and the water returned to its source. "Thank the stars!" She cried, flopping back onto the grass and letting her entire body go limp as if she'd fainted.

Lapis' laughter filled the air and she couldn't contain her own. "We're missing the sunset." She teased.

Jasper immediately sat up and saw the sky beginning to bleed with the vibrant colors she enjoyed so much. She sighed happily. "It never gets old." She said after a moment.

Lapis sighed too. "It really doesn't." Her tone was full of the same awe Jasper felt.

Jasper felt her heart swell with happiness. She was beyond glad she hadn't followed through with her decision to leave; that Lapis had asked her to stay. The feeling stayed with her as she and Lapis sat there, silent and content, long after the sky had faded to night and the stars began to wink into sight.

0 **o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o000o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **First off! Thank you guys so much for continuing to read and support this story! Sorry for the short chappy, but we needed some fun and laughs after last chap and I felt like this was the right place to go. The plot will pick back up after this. But, I'm exhausted and need a nap so that's all for now!**

 **Until next time! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 27**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Ah, loves, it's a beautiful day. But I'll gush more at the end. The chapter is what we're all here for. I do have to say before I start, this chap is a bit choppy. I could have gone on and on about the subjects in this chapter, but, in the interest of getting back to the plot, I have Shamala'd this chapter. Meaning LOTS of exposition and a few time skips to move us along. Still, everything has a place and a time and I didn't want to just skip everything and slap them into the future without at least touching base on a few steps along the way. There is still a lot of plot though, so we got some stuffs done.**

 **Anyway, more towards the end. READ ON, LOVES!**

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"Okay. Here goes nothing." Jasper said tentatively.

After several painful electrocutions, three broken bulbs and a one terrifying, almost fire, Jasper was about to flip the switch of their newly installed lights and see if their efforts had paid off. She and Lapis had quickly learned that embarking on this particular endeavor was _very_ different than watching videos. The wires in the barn were different from the ones on TubeTube and all of the equipment they had was outdated by a few earth decades. Jasper had a new appreciation for the evolution of human technology. They were still primitive by Homeworld standards, but their technology improved at a vast rate very quickly over short spans of time. She wanted to learn more about it in the future, but now, it was time to see if she had actually learned anything at all so far. She took a deep breath, cast one more nervous glance at Lapis and flipped the switch.

The barn instantly flooded with light. She felt a burst of elation, but held her breath for a few seconds to see if something exploded or caught fire or one of the other million things she and Lapis had worried over. Just as she had mentally counted to ten, Lapis let out a loud cheer.

"We did it!" She cried, bouncing on her toes in happiness.

Jasper blew out her breath in a relived laugh. "We did!" She cried, smiling hugely as Lapis coalesced her wings and flew in a happy circle around the newly lit interior of the barn.

Lapis flew straight at her and the warrior gem had only seconds to brace herself as Lapis flew headlong into her, almost knocking them both to the ground with an enthusiastic hug. Jasper recovered her balance and hugged Lapis back, spinning them in a circle as they both laughed. Lapis pulled away enough to send the warrior gem a huge smile and Jasper responded immediately. All of the frustration and work was worth it for this moment. Seeing Lapis so unabashedly pleased, made Jasper unbelievably happy.

"Now we can do so many more things in here!" Lapis said happily.

Jasper roared a laugh and set her on her feet. They'd _just_ finished a project and Lapis was already making plans. This new life with Lapis was never boring and she greatly enjoyed it. "Your brain never stops, does it?" She teased softly. Lapis immediately blushed and pouted up at the warrior gem. Jasper laughed again. "Don't look at me like that." She said fondly, reaching out to cup the slender gem's cheek. "I didn't say it was a bad thing."

Lapis huffed, but smiled. "You're a jerk."

Jasper's smile stretched into a smirk. "I know." She let go of Lapis' cheek and reached up to ruffle her hair. "But you think I'm awesome anyway."

Lapis slapped at her hand and ducked away with a giggle. "Well, I can't be right all the time!" She cried. The slender gem sent her a mischievous wink and coalesced her wings with a cheeky grin, before flitting away to the loft.

Jasper gaped at her. "Oi!" She cried, starting after her. She leaped up onto the loft. Lapis was bent over behind the couch and Jasper walked towards her, shaking a finger at the slender gem's back. "I'll have you kn-"

"Take this." Lapis turned and dumped a box into Jasper's arms.

The warrior gem was not expecting to be handed anything and almost dropped it. "What's this?" She asked, forgetting her pretend accusation.

"Well, now that we can really see in here, I thought it would be a good idea to do some organizing. Everything is just so cluttered." She shrugged and turned to pick up another box. "If we move it all down, then we can take stock of everything and set up a system."

Jasper groaned. "We have to _clean_?" She whined.

Lapis lifted an eyebrow. "Yes." She said firmly. She flew away before the warrior gem could reply.

Jasper sighed heavily. "If I'd know this would happen when I finished the lights, I'd've electrocuted myself again." She complained loudly.

Lapis' chuckle at her remark made her smile, even if the thought of cleaning wasn't very fun at all. Still, things would be easier in the future if they knew where everything was and Lapis wanted to do it. She sighed again as she knew the latter was the only thing that would make this enjoyable.

- **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Jasper stood and cracked her aching back. "Well. The only solution I see is another room." Jasper thought aloud, looking at the giant mess they'd made of the barn. They had moved every loose thing to the center of the barn and had moved the sculptures that could be moved against the aquarium wall to give themselves more space.

Lapis sighed. "You may be right. I just don't understand." The slender gem groaned. "Everything came out of these boxes, so I don't understand why we have so much left over and no more boxes."

Jasper shrugged. "I have no idea. I swear that tent wasn't as big when we pulled it out."

Lapis squinted at it. "It _does_ seem bigger." She hummed. "Weird."

Jasper grunted in agreement and wiped a hand across her sweaty brow. She was exhausted, dirty and overheated, but knew she'd never be able to rest with this task still undone. Seeing it all made her understand why Lapis had wanted to organize everything. Somehow, when it had all been piled up, it had looked like less. It was as if everything had magically expanded once it had been unpacked.

"Okay. I guess now we just need to figure out where you want another room. I can get more wood and we have everything else we need to build it."

Lapis stood and dusted off the front of her dress. "Maybe along the back?" She suggested. "If we made it the full width of the barn, we'd have plenty of room."

Jasper walked over to the wall in question. "Yeah, this'll work." She examined the space between two of the support beams. "I'd have to build a frame for a door or it wont be wide enough, but that should be pretty easy." She turned around to see Lapis smiling at her. She smiled back automatically, but felt slightly self conscious. "Lapis?" She asked after a moment. The slender gem blinked, seeming to come out of some sort of trance. A blush flared to life on the slender gem's cheeks. Jasper smiled wider at the sight. It was unbelievably cute, even if she didn't know what had caused the reaction. "What are you thinking right now?" She asked in an affectionately teasing way.

Lapis tucked a strand of hair behind one ear and looked away. "Just..." She trailed off. "Thank you for being so willing to do this. I know this isn't your idea of fun and I really appreciate it." Lapis' tone was soft, and yet firm and her cheeks flared brighter.

Jasper felt her heart swell in her chest as she watched the slender gem fidget. Jasper knew better than anyone else in the universe how strong Lapis was. Seeing her like this, in all of her highs and lows was the greatest gift she'd ever been given. How had she been so blind before? How had she ever looked at gems like the one before her and ever seen them for anything but what they were- wonderful?

She stepped closer to Lapis and tapped the slender gem's chin gently, prompting her to look up. "Not everything we do has to be fun, Lapis." She smiled happily down at her. "But it usually ends up that way, anyway." Lapis beamed up at her and Jasper couldn't resist a sudden mischievous urge. "You're, lucky I'm easily entertained." She joked.

Lapis giggled and shook her head in bemusement. "Just shut up and make my door."

Jasper gaped down at Lapis in shock. "We were having a moment, Lapis." She said with mock indignation. The slender gem burst out laughing. Jasper chuckled with her before forcing herself to sober up. "Besides. You're better at measuring than I am. " She winked. "Get to work!" She pointed dramatically at the place the door would go.

Lapis straitened and sent the warrior gem a mock salute. "Right away, sir!"

She giggled as Jasper gaped again and ran to get the measuring tape, before the warrior gem could sputter her reply. "I'm not a _sir_ , thanks!" She called.

"You're welcome!" Lapis called back.

Grumbling, but overall amused, Jasper went to retrieve the two partial tree trunks left over from her sculptures, so that she could begin cutting the boards they would need. She glanced over her shoulder to see Lapis smiling as she measured the area of the new door. Jasper could hear her humming a nonsense tune, like Steven often did. Music and laughter filled his life, when he wasn't saving the world. Maybe she could learn to make music too. Maybe that would also make the slender gem she had vowed to protect more happy too. It was something to think about. But for now, she would build Lapis a perfect storage room.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Standing together, Jasper and Lapis surveyed their new storage room. Jasper wasn't entirely satisfied with it. She could see many places where the boards weren't exactly straight and a large portion of the nails were exposed. Making the sculptures was a lot different from creating an entire room out of raw materials and she'd had to replace quite a few of the boards after breaking them with an overly powerful blow of the hammer. The walls were made of several different shades of wood and the roof was simply thin trees she and Lapis had trimmed the branches from and covered with strips of bark to keep the rain out. A few shelves lined the walls. Jasper had simply split some of the smallish trees in half with wedges and she and Lapis had attached them with the rounded sides facing down to make sturdy places to rest almost everything. They had taken everything out of the boxes so that they could have easy access to all of the strange objects the barn contained. Who knew when some of it would be useful, but at least they'd have them if the need arose. At first, she had been loathe to take any trees that weren't already dead, but she'd had to resort to felling a few herself to finish it. She planned to go back and plant more trees to make up for her destruction. Lapis had agreed to help her learn how to do it properly.

Altogether though, even if it was very primitive and didn't look exactly satisfying, they had accomplished what they set out to do and had learned a lot in the process. Jasper knew that humans had a much more diverse set of tools to do this kind of thing, but she and Lapis had no way of obtaining them. They'd done the best they could with what they'd had.

"I think it has personality." Lapis said after a moment.

Jasper shrugged. "It's sturdy. It can have all the quirky personality it wants." She sent Lapis a grin. Lapis smiled back at her and they stepped together back into the main of the barn. Lapis stopped and looked around. She was frowning and Jasper was confused. "What's wrong?" She asked.

Lapis sighed. "Now that all of that junk is out of here, I just realized how barren this barn really is."

Jasper looked around and could see immediately what she meant. "Once we move the morps back, it won't be so bad." She said after a moment.

"True." Lapis replied, seeming slightly cheered.

Jasper smiled softly, but inwardly, she was very worried about the slender gem. Lapis had been overly motivated to be active since they had fully recovered. They still watched the sunrises and sunsets,but they hadn't really just sat and talked beyond that. She knew that the hydrokinetic gem was doing what she had done before; using tasks and movement to keep her mind off of the dark thoughts inside of her. It was far superior than letting them overtake her, but it wasn't really fixing the problem. Jasper had a foreboding feeling that it would simply become larger the longer Lapis buried it inside. She didn't really want to press the hydrokinetic gem, but she couldn't try to help if she didn't know what was truly wrong.

"Will you take a walk with me?" She asked softly.

Lapis blinked up at her, a strange emotion playing through her dark eyes. She blinked and looked away before the warrior gem could try to decipher it. "Okay."

Jasper suppressed a sigh and they walked outside. She started walking aimlessly in the direction away from Lapis' broken sculpture and the warp pad and Lapis silently followed. After a few yards, Jasper slowed and Lapis caught up. Slowly, silently, they walked together in the late afternoon light. Jasper glanced over to see the hydrokinetic gem walking with her head down and shoulders hunched, as if preparing herself for a blow. She looked wounded and vulnerable. Jasper didn't like it at all.

She stopped and sighed as Lapis kept walking a few more steps without noticing. "Lapis." She said the slender gem's name softly.

Lapis stopped and glanced around, before turning to face the warrior gem with an apologetic grimace on her face. "Sorry. I was... lost in thought."

"I could tell." She took a step towards the slender gem. "What are thinking right now, Lapis?" She asked. She knew it was something they asked each other often, but this was the most serious tone she'd ever used to ask it. To her utter surprise, Lapis started to cry. "Oh no, Lapis. Don't cry!" The warrior gem immediately felt horrible and made to rush to her, but Lapis held out a hand.

"Don't." She sobbed. "I need to say this, and if you hug me, all I'll do is cry and not say it." Jasper swallowed hard, hating that she had made Lapis cry, and nodded. The sobbing gem took a deep breath. "I just can't stop thinking about when you said you should leave." Jasper's heart dropped like a stone, but she said nothing and let Lapis continue. "I know that you're a warrior and even if you say you're having fun here with me, I can't stop wondering whether or not I should have let you go." Her voice cracked on a sob. "If I had, you could have gone back to Steven and the others. I know you could have made it work out. You could be helping them right now. I'm keeping you away from something you want to do; from something that could help this planet. I just feel so selfish. I don't want you to go!" She was sobbing now in earnest.

The warrior gem had felt a flood of different emotions as Lapis spoke. Jasper could not stand it any longer. She stepped forward and pulled Lapis into a hug. The slender gem fought her for a moment, but then gave in. She collapsed against the warrior gem and Jasper's strong embrace was the only thing holding her up. Jasper held her as her slender gem succumbed fully to her tears.

Jasper knew she had to say something, but she was so afraid that she'd say the wrong thing. It had to be said though, so she gathered what courage she had and began to speak. "Saying that I should leave was a mistake. It was stupid and selfish and cowardly. I was afraid, Lapis. I was afraid that my being here was causing you more harm than good. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you again, and then I did." Her voice cracked and she had to squeeze her eyes shut against tears. She could cry later. Saying this was more important than tears. "I was so thankful that you asked me to stay. Being here is better than anything I've ever experienced. I'm learning so many things with you about earth and myself and truly living. And maybe I _should_ be fighting with Steven and the others. Maybe I should apologize to them and give them a chance to apologize to me. Maybe I _should_ be doing more than what I am, but none of that matters to me any more." She felt Lapis' fingers tighten into her shirt squeezed the slender gem tighter. "You, Lapis, you matter." She whispered softly. "You're my best friend in the entire universe, Lapis. You've shown me so much about the world. You were my light in my darkest hours. You showed me that there was another way and you did it even when you yourself were being eaten by the darkness." She said earnestly. "I learned a lot from Steven and the others; more than they'll ever know. But I would have never had the chance if I hadn't seen that glimpse of light from you." She squeezed Lapis tighter. "You have been through so much pain. So much horror. Steven was one shining act of kindness in a millennia of darkness, but it touched you so much..." She trailed off, her tears finally pushing through her wavering control. "Even if he was a crystal gem. Even if you felt he'd betrayed and abandoned you on the ship." Lapis gasped and tried to pull away, but Jasper wouldn't let her. Lapis needed to hear what she had to say. The full truth, nothing held back, to salvage her emotions. All of the darkness laid bare. "Yes, I felt it from you, Lapis. I felt it. But even if you felt that towards him in that moment, you still cared for him so much that you could forgive him and stand against me and Homeworld in the only way you knew how. Even if you were angry at him and so angry at the others, you still stood in the way of everything you'd been _made_ to believe in. I could understand your anger, almost feed on it..." And it was true and she knew Lapis had felt that too in the darkness that was their fusion. "... but I could never take away that light inside of you. I don't think I ever truly wanted to, because I was afraid I'd be swallowed by the dark after it was gone. Even before I knew it, I already cherished the light." She pulled away, so that she could look Lapis in the eyes. Seeing Lapis, tears mirroring her own made her heart twist so painfully, but she still gave Lapis a smile that she hoped showed the wonder she felt still remembering those moments. "Staying with you is what I want, Lapis." She whispered, voice cracking with tears. "When I ran away from the beach house, that first night was so hard. I couldn't imagine what the rest of my eternity was going to be like without the purpose I thought I'd found. All I could see were the day and years of nothing stretching before me and I was so afraid." Her voice cracked again, but then she sobbed a laugh and gave Lapis a watery smile. "But the universe brought me here." She said, happy, even if she was still crying. "I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn't know how to do it until I had to face your anger again." Lapis sobbed and looked away, but Jasper cupped her cheek and tilted her head back up to look at her. "You showed me the way, by taking everything else away, Lapis. Some lessons are hard won. I needed your anger, so that I could learn that apologizing didn't make me weak." Jasper hugged her again, squeezing her tight. "Thank you, Lapis." She whispered. "For showing me and for letting me stay. For teaching me and for accepting me. You hated me more than the others, and yet you were the one who actually gave me a chance. I can't thank you enough for that."

Lapis was sobbing again in earnest and Jasper held her, letting more of her own tears escape. Her vow to never make Lapis cry again was laughable now. They had both cried so much in these past weeks, but she could see it now. She could see what Steven had meant. Crying, talking, and sharing pain, really did mean that they were healing. It had hurt to gain the pain so of course it would hurt to take it away. But it was a good hurt, like the bruises after training; a hurt that meant you were growing instead of being beaten down.

"Thank you, Jasper." Lapis' voice was a whisper of sound. "You've shown me a lot too, even if you think you haven't. I'm glad that the universe brought you here too." Jasper felt the slender gem's fingers tighten in her shirt and smiled to herself. "I feel like there's so much I want to say, but the words won't come." Lapis laughed softly.

Jasper pulled away again and let Lapis see her smile. "It's okay. We have time." Then she smirked, feeling the urge to change the mood. "I'm sure we'll have at least a few minutes to rest between all of your projects."

Lapis laughed again, this one a full laugh, and swatted at the warrior gem. "If you're lucky. I have a lot of plans." She smiled up at Jasper, eyes shining with gratitude and happiness, and something else that the warrior gem couldn't place, but that made her heart skip a beat in her chest.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She smiled. She stepped away from the slender gem and bowed gracefully. "After you, my radiance." She quipped.

Lapis giggled and started past. Jasper let her get a few steps away, before smirking and jogging past her. She shot the surprised slender gem a smirk over her shoulder. "First one to the barn picks the next project." She called.

Lapis' laughter chimed through the air and Jasper laughed too, before almost falling sideways as something very swift brushed past her head. Lapis was flying and Jasper saw her shoot a smirk over her shoulder, before flitting around the side of the barn. The warrior gem shook her head ruefully, before following. She wasn't even mad that Lapis had beaten her. Not one little bit.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING! I love you all beyond words. As I touched on before the chap, the plot will pick up again after this one, but I just adore writing Jasper and Lapis' friendship beyond words, so don't think that is anywhere near over.**

 **Also, my career just got a MAJOR boost, so my hours will be picking up _phenomenally_. As in much, much less time to write, but more great opportunities for me and my lil kitty, dubbed Spook, to have fun when mamma isn't working or writing. I have also rekindled my love for karaoke, much to his chagrin and to the chagrin of those who have to listen to my toneless screeching, on top of my other hobbies. Brain stimulation is not to be underestimated! Even if you have several hobbies, loves, you always have time for more! Don't limit yourselves, have some fun! Life is what you make it, so don't forget to look up!**

 **Anyway, enough with my gushing. Next chappy, I'm doing another set of shout outs, so look forward to it! I am beyond grateful for your support and love hearing from all of you. And even if you don't PM or leave a review, I'm sincerely glad you are here for the journey. The more the merrier as we continue on towards the future!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 28**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Oh, my loves. I am ever so proud of myself for actually getting this chappy up within a week! Writing this is the balm of my tired day. I'm so happy to have you all here. But let's chat more at the end!**

 **READ ON!**

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Jasper finished stacking the unused boards from the storage room and dusted herself off. She wiped the sweat from her brow and went inside, feeling satisfied with her tidying. She knew it would please Lapis.

"I think I'm going to move my hammock up onto the loft." The slender gem said as Jasper entered the barn. "That way we can use that corner for your bear."

Jasper tilted her head, studying the space. It would almost look like her bear was guarding the barn from the shadows. She liked the idea. "Okay. I'll move the couch so you can decide where you want everything."

"That will work." Lapis said with a smile.

Jasper grinned back at her and climbed up into the loft to do so. She carefully pushed the box holding the TV and tape player against the wall."We could always string you up from the rafters if we run out of space." She jokingly suggested as she hefted the couch onto her shoulders.

Lapis looked up from untying the support strings of her hammock. "Ha ha." She monotoned. "We could always put you out on the grass, since you're happier sleeping there."

Jasper shrugged, couch listing on her shoulder. She didn't ever truly mean to sleep, but she had found herself doing so more often whenever she sat still and things were peaceful. It was nice. "I like to look at the stars. Not my fault they make me sleepy sometimes."

Lapis finished untying the strings and flew up to land beside her. "You need a bed."

"Even if we made me one, I probably wouldn't use it." She said honestly.

"Stubborn." Lapis muttered.

Jasper laughed. "C'mon! Even _you_ don't have a real bed!"

Lapis blinked down at her hammock. "A lot of humans sleep in these!" She protested.

"And a lot of humans sleep on the ground too!" She argued back, smirking.

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Most of them at least use a blanket."

"Maybe I like feeling the grass." Jasper shot back, very amused.

The slender gem shook her head. "Fine. Sleep on the ground."

"I will, thank you." She said smugly. "Now. Where do you want this?" She gestured at the couch she still held.

Lapis quirked an eyebrow. "Right where it is for now." She smirked.

"And now I'm a shelf." The warrior gem exaggerated a sigh.

Lapis giggled, before walking over to the corner and beginning to rehang her hammock from the supports of the walls. "I think I'll like it better up here. I can watch Camp Pining Hearts from my bed!"

Jasper laughed softly. "So the couch is going where it won't block your view. Got it." There was only one spot to put it now, so she walked over and set it down, caddy cornered between the wall and the edge of the loft. It almost made a 'v' with Lapis' hammock. "There."

"Did I say that's where I wanted the couch?" Lapis said dryly.

Jasper smirked. "No. But this _is_ where you wanted it."

"That's beside the point." The slender gem's tone was amused as she finished tying her knots. Then she flew down to retrieve her pillow, blanket, and bag. A moment later, her bed was ready. She immediately climbed into it, head close to the couch and wiggled to get comfortable. "Yes. I like it already." She smiled up at Jasper.

The warrior gem smiled back and flopped onto the couch, sprawling along it's length. She propped her head on the arm near Lapis, folding one arm behind her neck for support. One leg dangled over the end of the couch, the other propped up along the back. "Now I don't have to share the couch!" She grinned over at Lapis.

"You hogged it anyway." The slender gem shot back.

Jasper gaped over at her. "I did no such thing!"

Lapis laughed at the outraged look on her face. "You did, but it's okay."

Jasper snorted and wiggled more comfortably onto the cushions beneath her, letting their silly argument go. They laid there in silence for a time. Jasper was comfortable, happy. She let her head fall to the side and saw Lapis lying curled on her hammock. The slender gem's eyes were closed and there was a soft smile on her face. She had fallen asleep for the first time in days. She seemed so relaxed and content. There was none of the underlying tension from before. Seeing her like that made the warrior gem even happier. She found herself smiling, feeling a fuzzy warmth fill her chest. She didn't know what it meant, but she liked feeling it. It was a good feeling. She was content simply lying there and watching Lapis sleep, when she suddenly remembered something.

Quietly, she got up and lowered herself to the floor of the barn. During all of their cleaning and rearranging, she had managed to keep her gift for Lapis hidden under a tarp. The slender gem had been far too distracted to question it, and Jasper was grateful. She didn't want the surprise spoiled until it was finished. Stealthily, she uncovered it and carried it outside, grabbing her tool belt as she went.. She had only managed to install one light on the exterior of the barn, but it was bright enough for her to work under. As she reached in to turn it on, she flipped the inside lights off so that they wouldn't disturb the sleeping Lapis. Rather than going to get her table, she sat the sculpture on the ground and sat cross legged in front of it. She settled her belt beside her and quietly dug out the tools she needed. Within moments, she was lost in her work. Hours passed as she continued to carve the coral structures and creatures from memory. She spun the sculpture round and round, trying to keep the patterns as consistent as possible. Here and there, she was leaving knobs that would eventually be marine life. In some places she gouged out sections of the coral, creating the caves that other creatures liked to hide in and the creatures themselves. An octopus, a few eels, and a random assortment of fish, peeking out. One of the knobs became a shark, another became a burst of anemone, with a few shy clown fish hiding in the wavy tendrils. She continued in this fashion, until the sun began to rise. Soon, it would be time to wake Lapis to watch it peek over the horizon. She surveyed her night's work. Everything was still rough and some places were still bare. She had a lot of detailing to do and edges to smooth, but she was satisfied for now. A few more nights and it would be complete. She stood and dusted the wood chips from her clothing, before putting her tools back in the belt. As she stepped back into the barn, she heard Lapis stirring and heart heart skipped a beat in panic. Clumsily, she darted back to the tarp and threw it over her surprise.

"Jasper?" Lapis called sleepily.

The warrior gem glanced up and saw that Lapis had only just then lifted her head. She breathed a sigh of relief and set down her tool belt, before leaping up onto the loft. "Perfect timing." She said softly, smiling at the sleepy eyed gem. "I was just about to come wake you. The sun is rising."

Lapis rubbed at her eyes as she sat up. She stood to stretch, yawning. "What have you been up to all night?" She asked, sounding slightly more awake.

"Nothing much. I was outside for awhile." The warrior gem hedged. She didn't want to outright lie, even if it was for a good cause.

Lapis quirked an eyebrow and, for a moment, Jasper thought she'd been caught, but then Lapis smiled. "Let's watch the sunrise."

Jasper smiled back, feeling relieved all over again. "Let's. And then you can tell me what you have planned for the day."

Lapis laughed. "How did you know I had plans?" She asked, walking over to the window.

Jasper chuckled. "It's _you_ , Lapis. You always have plans." She replied, coming to lean against the window sill beside her.

The slender gem hummed, amused. "Well, is there anything you'd like to do instead?"

Jasper grinned over at her. "I want to do what you want to do."

Lapis didn't look over, but her smile widened. "You always say that, yet you complain."

"Maybe I like seeing you annoyed. You're cute when you scrunch up your nose." Lapis scowled over at her and Jasper laughed. "Yep! Just like that!"

Lapis shook her head and looked back out to the ever lightening horizon, but she was laughing too. She let out a happy sigh, leaning her head against the side of the window. Jasper sighed too, feeling a whirlwind of happy emotions. She never got tired of watching the slender gem smile.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

"Are you entirely sure about this?" Jasper asked nervously, shifting her stance.

"I just don't see another way." Lapis said firmly. "We need to do this."

"Well. Here goes nothing." Jasper sighed and jerked her head, materializing her helmet. It had been so long, the once familiar weapon felt foreign on her head.

She braced herself, cast one more nervous glance at Lapis, and charged. The side of the barn exploded into splintery dust. She jerked to a stop in the middle of the barn and spun around to assess her damage. She'd hit right on the mark. Two of the support beams were gone along with a huge section of the wall. She looked at Lapis, who nodded and charged again, aiming far to the right. Without waiting for the signal, she charged again to the far left. She spun again, shooting a fearful glance at the roof. It seemed stable. She sighed in relief and squinted to see Lapis through the cloud of dust. Lapis waved her hand in front of her face and, rather than walk across the sea of splinters, she coalesced her wings and flew to stand beside the warrior gem. She held her hands up, making a square of her fingers and examined the destroyed wall with a critical eye. Only three of the support beams for the wall and a few boards remained.

"Yes. Now we just need to tidy it up and it'll work perfectly."

Jasper shook her head, amused, and went to retrieve a broom. She got one for Lapis too and she and the slender gem began sweeping up the mess of broken wood. "There was probably a less messy way to do that." She commented dryly.

"But not as fun to watch." Lapis shot back, winking at her.

Jasper chuckled. "True." She stopped to pick up a piece of board that was too big to sweep up, tossing it out through the destroyed wall. She'd pick it and the others up and dispose of them after the splinters were cleared. "So tell me again why you felt the need to have me destroy the wall?" She asked lightly.

"I told you. There's just not enough space. And It's too gloomy in here. If we extend, we can add windows. That was the only wall that could go. I still want at least one window under the loft though." She said thoughtfully. "But we will have to do that one the other way." She made it into a joke.

Jasper snorted. "Yeah, I'd rather not accidentally send your aquarium flying. We'd probably drown."

As she continued sweeping, she was suddenly struck with how surreal this was. Months ago, she had had no idea of anything other than war and hatred. She had hated herself and every other living thing in the universe, including the gem sweeping right beside her. It stopped her short every time she realized how much her life had changed. She turned to look at Lapis, watching her for a moment. Her movements were graceful, fluid. She was smiling, swaying as if listening to music that the warrior gem could not hear. Every time Jasper looked at her, she felt a strange tug in her chest; as if a part of her was always drawn to the hydrokinetic gem. She wanted to protect her; make her happy. The feelings only got stronger every day. She wanted to spend every moment with her and a part of her was afraid of what it meant. If her life had taught her anything, It was that things never lasted. Good or bad, they all passed, leaving scars and tears and memories in their wake. Would this time with Lapis be the same? Would things change? Would Lapis be nothing more than a memory like Steven and the others? The thought made her infinitely sad. She felt a lump swelling in her throat and tears stinging in her eyes.

Lapis looked up at that moment, and Jasper tried to rearrange her face into a smile. The slender gem frowned, and Jasper knew she'd been caught. "What are you thinking right now?" Lapis asked her gently.

Jasper sighed. She wanted to say it was nothing, but knew that Lapis never liked that answer. "I was thinking about Steven and the others. I miss them." She told her half of the truth; the only half she could stand to speak aloud.

Lapis blinked, offering her a sad smile. "Me too." She swept at the floor halfheartedly a few more times. "I keep thinking about replying to his messages."

"Why don't you?" She asked softly.

Lapis shook her head. "I never know what to say."

Jasper felt a pang in her chest at her defeated tone. "You could say anything."

Lapis sighed. "I know." She abandoned her sweeping and looked up, leaning against the broom. "But I don't want it to be just anything. He's too important for half efforts."

Jasper smiled. Lapis sounded so earnest, but the warrior gem knew she was vastly overthinking it. She knew Steven would be happy with a simple reply, but if Lapis wanted to wait, it was her choice. She would never push the slender gem into anything.

"Well, when you do decide to reply to him, make sure you tell him I said 'hi'." She said, grinning at the slender gem.

Lapis laughed softly. "Okay." She blinked over at the warrior gem, smiling and Jasper was happy to see that the moment of worry and melancholy had passed.

The warrior gem abandoned her broom, deciding to pick up the rest of the larger wood and toss it into the ever growing pile out on the grass. It seemed more logical to do that first, but she didn't want Lapis to risk splinters in her bare feet. "So, your radiance. After we finish cleaning, what's the next step?" She asked lightly a few minutes later.

Lapis surprised her by dropping her broom. "You know what? I want you to do something different today." She turned and gave Jasper a wide, mischievous smile. She seemed excited, almost scarily so.

"Okay." The warrior gem drew out the word. "What do you have in mind?" She asked hesitantly.

"Wait right there." She said, and then she dashed towards the storage room.

Jasper did so, feeling a flutter of fear and anticipation. What in the world had come over Lapis so suddenly? The slender gem returned a moment later, lugging one large, almost ovular case and a more slender, narrow one with a thin, elongated end. The warrior gem remembered how careful Lapis had been with them upon discovering them when they rearranged everything. With a look of satisfaction, she deposited the larger one at Jasper's feet.

"Open it." She ordered, eyes twinkling with happiness and no small amount of mischief.

Jasper stooped and did so, revealing a strange metallic object. It was shaped almost like a check mark and was bronze colored and slightly mottled. One end was smaller than the other and it had knobs and attachments all over one side. "What is it?" She asked, very confused.

"Remember how you said you wanted to learn human music?" She asked.

Jasper looked up at her, mouth open in surprise. "Really?" She asked, astonished.

Lapis smiled hugely. "Really!" She replied in a cheer. "That's an instrument. A saxophone!" She declared.

Jasper looked back at the instrument, reaching down to run her fingers over its smooth, mottled surface. "How does it work?" She asked softly.

Lapis leaned down and pulled it from the soft casing. "Like this."

She held the instrument with the smaller side up near her mouth and fingers splaying over the knobs on the front. She placed the end in her mouth and blew into it. A smooth, low sound came from it, immediately pleasing Jasper. She hadn't been able to imagine what kind of music such a strangely shaped instrument could make. Lapis' eyes twinkled and she took a breath and blew again. Jasper realized the knobs weren't knobs at all, but buttons that Lapis manipulated. The sound changed as she did so, creating a melody. Jasper gaped at her as she played for a few moments longer. She pulled away from it with a smile and handed it back to the astonished warrior gem.

"I've never actually played one before, but that's how it works." She said bashfully.

"Wow." Was all Jasper could say. It had sounded wonderful, and it was the first time Lapis had played it? She was astonished. "Can I try it?" She asked, not really believing Lapis was letting her touch something so wonderful.

"Of course!" The slender gem cried, obviously pleased at her reaction.

Jasper turned it and held it like Lapis had. She hesitated the briefest of moments, placing her fingers on the buttons and manipulating them gently, trying to get a feel for them. Then she took a deep breath and blew. Carefully, she pressed each button in turn to see how the sound changed with each one. She was utterly delighted with the range of sound. She had created music!

She beamed at Lapis, who laughed happily and gestured for her to continue. "I'll finish sweeping while you get a feel for it. Then, you can learn how to really play it."

Jasper was elated, but couldn't help feeling guilty that Lapis would have to clean without her. "You sure you don't want me to help finish first?" She offered.

Lapis shook her head, still smiling. "I want you to get familiar with that." She pointed at the saxophone. "Finishing won't take me long and then we can play together!" She seemed very excited about the prospect.

Jasper wanted to cheer she was so happy. Her guilt was washed away by the elation she felt at learning to create music; and to do it with Lapis! She was very excited and immediately began to play with the saxophone again, wondering all over again at the tones. She soon discovered by accident, that even more tones could be produced by holding more than one of the buttons at a time and they changed more still depending on how much pressure she pressed the buttons with. She was thoroughly entranced, eyes closed to focus only on the sounds, when another musical sound joined her. She looked over to see that Lapis had retrieved her own instrument from its case. It had a wide, curved ovular end and a long, slender end. The slender gem had it strapped over her shoulder and was holding it sideways. One hand was on the slender end, wrapped around it to dance over the strings corded along its length and the other was strumming the other ends of the strings over a hole in the ovular end. Each tiny motion of her fingers produced a new sound. The warrior gem stared at her, transfixed as she continued to play. She was smiling smugly, eyes dancing with pleasure and mischief as the melody grew faster and more complex.

Without stopping, she winked at the warrior gem. "Are you going to play with me, or not?" She asked, amused.

Jasper couldn't help her pleased laugh. She put her mouth back to the saxophone and tried to match the slender gem's melody. Lapis slowed her range of tones, letting the warrior gem get a feel for how they accompanied her own instrument, before picking up again. The warrior gem had no idea whether or not she was doing it right, but Lapis was still smiling, so she thought that maybe she was. She closed her eyes again, concentrating only on how the two instruments sounded together, trying to weave her sound around Lapis' and realized that Lapis was doing the same. She blinked open her eyes and saw Lapis' were closed too. She was losing herself in the sounds just as much as Jasper herself was. The warrior gem felt a great warmth in her chest and closed her eyes again, letting the music carry her away. After a time, it almost seemed as if they were having a conversation with the music alone. When Lapis' sounds faded to softness, Jasper let hers swell. Fast and slow, soft and loud, the music filled the air. For how long they played, the warrior gem didn't know, but she enjoyed every moment of it.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

From that day on, it seemed Jasper was never still. When they weren't playing their instruments, she and Lapis were working endlessly on making the changes the hydrokinetic gem wanted done to the barn. They'd put up the new walls, using mostly the same method they'd used for the storage room. The warrior gem had learned from her mistakes last time and this time, she had tried to make everything as perfect as possible. She was very pleased with the result. They had no glass for the windows, but the breeze and light they offered was wonderful, so they decided not to worry. Lapis had discovered a new way to shape the bark for the roof, and the slats fell much more smoothly now across support beams made to look like the ones along the rest of the roof. When they'd lain the boards for the flooring, The warrior gem had done her best to keep the tone of wood much more uniform than the walls. It had looked so pleasing, Lapis had decided to replace the flooring that was already there with the new as well. Upon placing their last remaining light to illuminate the new, much larger space, the warrior gem found herself unhappy with the way that the wires were so apparently obvious.

She was standing there, trying to come up with a way to hide them, when Lapis spoke from behind her. "I wonder what this is."

Jasper turned to look and her heart rate skyrocketed. Lapis was examining the tarp covering her surprise sculpture in the corner under the loft. "Oh, that? That's... uh... nothing!" She said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Here. Let me get it out of the way." She rushed over.

Lapis shook her head. "It's not in the way, I just don't know what it is. I don't remember why it isn't in the storage room." She reached down and began to lift the tarp.

Jasper panicked and grabbed it, holding it down. "It's nothing! I … must have moved it out for some reason!" She picked it up and cradled it to her chest.

Lapis was looking at her with an expression of shocked confusion and Jasper tried to give her an innocent smile. The slender gem frowned, staring her down. Jasper felt sweat bead onto her forehead as her panic grew. She wanted to simply walk away and go hide the surprise, but Lapis' gaze kept her locked in place. She swallowed hard and tried to keep smiling. It almost hurt.

"I don't like secrets." Lapis' voice was low and very controlled. "What is it?"

Jasper almost winced. "It's nothing!" She repeated.

"Then why are you hiding it?"

Jasper sucked in a breath. "Erm... I... uh... I'm not really _hiding_ it, per say, I just...um... I..." Lapis took a step closer and her pitiful attempt at an explanation died. Finally, the warrior gem sighed in defeat. "It's not finished yet!" She blurted.

Lapis blinked in confusion. "What isn't finished?" She asked.

"This!" She held out the covered sculpture. "I've been making something and I didn't want you to see it before it was done." She looked away, hanging her head and cursing herself. She should have made sure it was in a safer place, but she'd been so distracted, she'd almost forgotten where it was.

There was a long moment of silence. "Is this what you've been doing on the nights you don't sleep?" Lapis asked softly. Jasper nodded. "Why didn't you just tell me? I wouldn't have looked." She sounded a little offended.

The warrior gem sighed. "It was supposed to be a surprise." She said dejectedly.

Lapis gasped softly. She stepped forward and put a hand over one of Jasper's. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I overreacted. I didn't realize. I shouldn't have pushed."

The warrior gem could hear the regret in her apology and looked up. "It's my fault. I should have made sure it was hidden better."

In truth, she had mostly completed it. There were only some minor lines she'd been planning to smooth out before she would have considered it perfect. She knew it had been mostly nerves that had been keeping her from actually giving Lapis the gift. Now was as good a time as any. In fact, if Lapis hadn't found it, she might have held off giving it to her indefinitely. This had been the push she needed. She smiled at the slender gem, letting her know without words that she was forgiven. Lapis blushed, but smiled back, ducking her head slightly. The cuteness of the action made the warrior gem smile bigger.

"Do you... want to see it?" She asked, still nervous even though she'd made her decision.

Lapis blinked up at her. "Only of you want to show me." She replied softly.

Jasper nodded, still smiling. "It's... actually for you." She blushed.

The slender gem glanced down at the covered gift in her hands before looking back up. "For me?" She asked, surprised.

"Yes. I wanted to make you something." The warrior gem said earnestly.

Lapis still looked surprised, but she smiled happily. "Then I'd like that very much."

Jasper smiled at her and reached back for the table it had been on with one hand. She set it beside her and then placed the sculpture on it. "Ready?" She asked, feeling the tingle of nerves in her gut swell.

Lapis actually looked excited now and nodded. Jasper took a breath and then pulled off the tarp in one quick motion, unable to resist giving the action a dramatic flare. Lapis gasped and her expression immediately went from excitement to astonished pleasure. She stared at it, as if unable to look away, for a long moment, before looking up at Jasper, eyes glistening with happiness. The warrior gem felt her heart stumble and her breath caught in her throat as the slender gem sent her a radiant smile. Lapis was always beautiful to the warrior gem, but in that moment, she seemed to glow. She felt herself smiling back and a moment later, Lapis was moving toward her. The warrior gem caught her automatically as Lapis leaped up to wrap her arms around Jasper's neck in a tight hug. Jasper hugged her tight as Lapis laughed, before pulling away to turn back to her gift. She reached out, running her fingers over the carved coral and marine life. Jasper was beaming with happiness and pride as the hydrokinetic gem walked around the table, examining it from all sides. She was beyond glad that she had decided to make this for Lapis. Seeing her reaction was worth every moment of effort.

Lapis turned to her. "How?" She asked in an almost whisper.

She had been so lost in watching the slender gem, it took her a moment to reply. "How what?"

"How did you do this?" She asked, turning to look back at the sculpture. "Jasper, it's perfect." She said in a tone of wonder. "There's just so much detail." Her fingers trailed up to the whales and manta rays swimming through the thick fronds of kelp. "It's amazing. I just can't stop looking at it."

"I'm so glad you like it." Jasper admitted with a smile.

Lapis jerked around to look at her. "Like it? I _love_ it!" The word 'love' sent a bolt straight to Jasper's heart. Before she could decipher the strange feeling, Lapis continued. "I want this to be our center piece. I want this to be the first thing I see when I walk inside." She turned in a slow circle, eyes wide as she looked at the entirety of the barn. "I've been wracking my brain, trying to figure out how I wanted to decorate and now I know." She turned back to Jasper, smiling hugely. "This is going to be amazing!" She cried. The warrior gem laughed as Lapis ran back to give her another hug. Lapis clung to her for a long moment. "Thank you, Jasper." She whispered. "Thank you so much."

Jasper squeezed her tighter. "No, Lapis. Thank _you_." She spun them in a circle, unable to contain her happiness. She laughed again and Lapis laughed with her as she continued to spin them round and round, before she pulled back to smile down at her again. "I can't wait to help you make this your perfect home."

Lapis smiled softly. "Our home." Jasper felt her jaw drop open in surprise. _Our home_? She repeated to herself. She had a home now? Here? With Lapis? She was entirely blown away. Lapis giggled at her expression. She reached up and closed the warrior gem's mouth with one slender hand. "Our home." She repeated, dropping the hand to Jasper's chest.

Jasper let out an astonished laugh as she fully registered what Lapis meant. This was her home now too. She had found her place; a place to belong. And it was here, with Lapis. She never had to leave. The buzz of uncertainty had been in the back of her mind for all these weeks. The question of how long she could stay here; of how long this time with Lapis could last. Earlier, she had wondered if Lapis would become just another painful memory. She wasn't worried anymore. Whatever it meant to be here, this was her home. She had a home. She couldn't stop thinking those happy words. Tears of joy filled her eyes as she hugged Lapis again. The slender gem hugged her tightly, holding her, as the tears kept coming. She couldn't stop crying for a long time.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Jasper happily hummed a tune from Camp Pining Hearts as she stepped back and took a critical look at her current project. She and Lapis had come up with the perfect idea to hide the bare wires for their lights. They had decided to create the covers she was now working on; tall, wooden , two-dimensional carvings that they could place around the beams after Jasper had cut grooves for the wires to sink into in the existing ones. Since Lapis had decided to base the theme of their home - it still made her smile to think the word 'home'- around the sculpture, Jasper had decided to have the covers tie into it too. All number of sea creatures decorated the covers in no particular rhyme or reason. Several of them had already been finished and were standing in a rough wall near her for referencing carvings for their counterparts. Unintentionally, she had created a rough pattern. She was very pleased by the overall effect so far and couldn't wait to install them.

Lapis had embarked on another decorative project of her own. The hydrokinetic gem had pulled a few cans of paint from the storage room and had been nonstop painting pictures of the sea on the walls. Her pallet was very limited, but she had astonished the warrior gem with her clever use of non conventional colors. The most elaborate of them had been an enormous mural around the aquarium, gilded with golden colored paint. It had taken her almost a week of nonstop painting to complete it and Jasper still felt the urge to just stop and stare at it every time she saw it. All in all, she was amazed at what they had done and they still had so many things planned. Jasper couldn't wait. She stepped back up to to the cover she was carving and began the next section. _A lion fish would look nice here,_ she thought to herself as she began to carve. Still humming, she lost herself in her work again.

Out of nowhere an all too familiar voice suddenly gasped from behind her. " _Jasper_?"

 _It can't be,_ was her only thought. Her tools clattered to the ground as she spun, unable to believe her ears. But her ears had been right. She was absolutely stunned to see Steven and the Crystal Gems standing there.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **Squee! Thank you guys SO much for reading! We got a lot done this chapter and I'm super pleased! Jasper got her first introduction to music, a real home, AND we finally get our reunion with Steven and the Crystal Gems! How will they react to finding her there with Lapis? Check in next time to find out!**

 **And now I know I said shout outs this chapter, BUT I'm saving them for the next one because I am FAR too tired to do all of you the justice you deserve. I'll do my best to get it up as quickly as possible. I promise! But that's all for now. Thank you again so much, loves! Really, truly, honestly, I appreciate you all. We are all in this together!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 29**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: Thank you for your support!**

 **PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING!**

 **There is a _MAJOR_ trigger warning for this chapter. I hate to spoil the contents, but I refused to post this chapter without at least warning you that a very delicate subject will be contained within the chapter to follow. _Please,_ loves, read with caution. I'll speak more about this at the end.**

 **With that _VERY_ important message being said, Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Jasper blinked rapidly, thinking maybe she was having a hallucination of some kind. There was no way that Steven and the Crystal Gems were really here were they? But after several moments, they still hadn't disappeared.

"Steven?" She asked tentatively.

"Jasper?" He responded, sounding just as unsure. Then his face broke out into a happy smile and he let out an astonished laugh. She couldn't help but to laugh herself as she registered that he really was here. He ran to her and she kneeled so that she could hug him, not even caring what the other gems thought of her happiness at seeing him. She was utterly blown away.

A moment later, Amethyst took a step forward. "Jazz? Is it really you?"

Jasper grinned at her over Steven, happy to hear genuine enthusiasm in Amethyst's voice. "Yeah, it's really me." She laughed. Amethyst seemed torn for a moment, but Jasper could see how happy the purple gem really was to see her. It made her heart swell with happiness. Besides Steven, Amethyst had been the one she had talked to the most and spent the most time with. She recalled that Amethyst had been the one to defend her the most to the others. Maybe she shouldn't have lumped her in with the rest. "It's good to see you." She said softly. And it was. She realized just how much she had missed the purple gem and let it show.

Amethyst's eyes filled with tears. A moment later, the purple quartz flew at her and Jasper happily released Steven with one arm and hugged Amethyst as well. Her heart felt like it would burst, she was so happy. Steven pulled away and Jasper released the both of them and stood, still smiling. Both of them were looking up at her in shocked happiness and she laughed.

"Jasper!" Lapis' voice called from inside.

Jasper's smile grew as she glanced back at the barn. Lapis was going to be so happy about this surprise. Or would she? A tingle of foreboding ran up her spine and she glanced quickly at Garnet, Peridot, and Pearl. If it had been just Steven and Amethyst, then she could be sure this would be fun, but she had no way of knowing what the others were going to say or do. Did they all still hate her? She glanced back at Steven's smiling face and the negative feelings disappeared. Steven would do his best to make sure nothing bad happened. And so would she. Seeing him light up at the sound of Lapis' voice, made her realize that he had actually come to see Lapis, not her, because of course, he hadn't known she'd be here. Maybe she should let them surprise her?

She held up a shushing finger at Steven and Amethyst. "Yeah?" She called her reply, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"We may have a problem." Lapis called answered, sounding closer.

Jasper frowned. "What kind of problem?" She asked. Hopefully, it was nothing that would spoil Steven's visit. She started towards the door.

"Steven sent another message. He says they're coming to visit." She called, sounding closer. Jasper almost sighed with relief. She stopped where she was and shot Steven a grin over her shoulder. He smiled hugely at her. Lapis continued, before she could reply. "I don't know who 'they' is but none of them know you're here. Maybe we should come up with a way to break it to them-" She stepped outside at that moment and stopped short when she saw a smiling Jasper, Steven, and Amethyst and a shocked Peridot, Garnet, and Pearl. "-gently." She finished quietly, eyes wide.

Jasper grinned and went to her. "Something tells me they already know." She teased softly.

Lapis blinked up at her and glared, though she still looked more shocked than angry. "Why didn't you say they were already here?" She mumbled.

Jasper turned to Steven and grinned. He took the cue and spread his hands wide. "Surprise!" He yelled.

Jasper laughed, but she was watching Lapis closely. This might be a little too much, too soon for the slender gem. Indeed, Lapis looked overwhelmed, but she forced a smile at Steven and enthusiastically hugged him when he ran at her.

"I'm so happy to see you, Lapis!" He cried.

Lapis closed her eyes and nodded, still hugging him. "I'm glad to see you too, Steven." She whispered. Jasper watched as Lapis opened her eyes to glance at the others. Her expression was tight with anxiety.

Amethyst was smiling affectionately, but Peridot, Garnet, and Pearl still looked stunned. They hadn't moved an inch. Jasper saw the hydrokinetic gem pale and decided to take the lead. She had already decided to forgive them, but she didn't know if they'd decided to forgive her. "If I'd known you were all coming, I'd've cleaned up my mess first." She said hesitantly to the still frozen gems as she approached them, very unsure of her reception.

Pearl blinked, seeming to come out of a trance. "It's fine. We did come rather unexpectedly." The response was automatic and polite, but wasn't tinged with any negative emotion, so Jasper took it as a good sign.

Jasper looked at Garnet next, who smiled at the warrior gem."I don't get surprised very often, but I think this surprise is of the more pleasant variety. It's good to see you, Jasper." Her tone sounded genuine. She stepped forward and held out a hand to the warrior gem.

Jasper stepped forward and shook it, relieved. She happy to see the fusion,even with the sticky past. "It's good to see you, too." She replied honestly. She then smiled at Peridot, who only blinked at her, eyes still wide with shock. The warrior gem inwardly cringed at the rebuttal. She ignored it and glanced back at Lapis. Thankfully, she seemed more collected.

She turned and caught Lapis' eye with a smile. The slender gem sent her a relieved glance, before stepping forward. "Would you all like to come inside?" She offered, fidgeting.

"That'd be great!" Steven said happily. He seemed to be beside himself with happiness and sent Jasper a knowing look. He had been right all along and he knew it. She knew he'd want to talk to her about it, but for now, he was simply enjoying this surprise.

She glanced back at Lapis and saw the tightness of the slender gem's smile as she regarded the others. The warrior gem couldn't stand to see her look so out of place in her own home. She went to join the nervous gem as she all but darted back into the barn. "It's going to be okay, Lapis." She whispered to her. After a furtive glance behind her, she reached out to discreetly hook their pinkies together. She didn't know how Lapis would react to the others seeing them touching, but she wanted the slender gem to know that she had her support.

Lapis blinked up at her, searching her expression. Jasper sent her a reassuring smile and Lapis smiled back, gratitude filling her eyes. She squeezed their pinkies together for a moment, before dropping her hand and turning to face the others as they followed them inside.

Jasper turned too and smiled as she saw looks of surprise fill their eyes. All of them gaped as they took in the extensive changes she and Lapis had made to transform the barn into their home. The shocked looks on their faces made her feel extremely proud. They had worked hard to do this and it obviously showed.

"Wow! You did all of this?" Steven asked in amazement.

Jasper nodded enthusiastically. "Lapis and I did it! Together!"

Lapis nodded with a soft smile, this one genuine. "Jasper did most of the work though. I just did a few of the final touches." She said quietly

Jasper snorted at the modest response. Lapis was still obviously uncomfortable, so she knew it was up to her to keep breaking the ice. She pushed aside her own lingering feelings of anxiety at having the others here and laughed. "Don't let her fool you. She put in a lot of work." The warrior gem pointed at the mural Lapis had so intricately painted around the aquarium. "That took her days to finish. I thought she'd never sleep again." She joked, grinning hugely at the now blushing Lapis.

"This is amazing!" Amethyst cheered.

"It hard to believe this is the same barn." Pearl said in astonishment.

"Yeah... it is." Peridot mumbled, looking around with huge eyes. It was the first time she had spoken. She didn't look particularly pleased with the changes. In fact, she looked... lost. It was the best way Jasper could describe it.

Jasper saw Lapis' expression fall slightly. It made her heart clench and she couldn't help a tiny stab of resentment at Peridot. Lapis had been very happy recently and it had been some of the best fun of Jasper's life to do this with her. It had taken them months to reach this easy state they'd come to live in. This was the first time any of the others were factoring into this and she wanted it to be fun for Lapis, not yet another thing she'd punish herself over.

She quickly squashed the uncharitable feeling though as she realized that Peridot had been here first. This was the place that Peridot had spoken of so fondly and had had the fondest memories of. She'd been here longer than Jasper or Lapis and now... she was a stranger here. Jasper couldn't imagine what it must feel like and guilt sank into her gut like a cold stone. She looked at Lapis, who was wearing near the same expression and the two of them shared a silent moment of pain. Jasper titled her head ever so slightly towards Peridot. She knew that if anyone could console the green gem, it would be Lapis and she knew without asking how much Lapis wanted to do it. The slender gem breathed a sigh, silent gratitude in her eyes. She turned towards the green gem and approached her slowly.

"You okay, Peridot?" She asked softly.

Peridot looked up at her, her eyes shimmering with a thousand emotions; sadness predominated over all. "Can we talk?" She cut her eyes at Jasper, her face a carefully neutral mask. "Alone?" Her tone was low and dark.

Lapis looked over at Jasper with a questioning expression. The warrior gem swallowed her hurt at Peridot's tone and gave Lapis what she hoped was an encouraging smile. The slender gem smiled softly at her before turning back to Peridot. "Let's go outside." She offered quietly.

Jasper watched them go, her heart hopefully wishing that Lapis could salvage her and Peridot's friendship. She now had faith that they could, if they tried and she would support Lapis all the way. Being able to reconnect with someone who had once meant so much to her would be good for the hydrokinetic gem. Lapis glanced back at her once more from the doorway and Jasper held up a hand and crossed her fingers, giving the slender gem a cheesy grin. Lapis beamed at her and followed Peridot out. She suddenly remembered she wasn't alone and looked back around. She hummed in embarrassment at the looks on their faces; even Pearl looked happily surprised.

"So..." Jasper drew out the word, scratching the back of her head, trying to think of anything at all to suddenly entertain them. "Anyone up for some Camp Pining Hearts?" She asked with poorly faked enthusiasm.

Amethyst suddenly reminded her of a smug Lion after a successful hunt. She clicked her tongue with a flip of her hair. "Yeah, no." She grinned like a happy maniac. "I want to know _everything_!"

Steven assumed the same expression/"You and Lapis actually worked things out?" He asked in happy wonder. "How on earth is this a thing?"

The warrior gem hesitated for a moment. She'd always talked honestly with Steven and had shared some of her thoughts and feelings with Amethyst, but she had never done so with Garnet or Pearl. She felt acutely embarrassed at the thought of doing so. Then she shook her head and smiled. She remembered again that she didn't care what they thought of her. She knew who she was now, and whether or not they accepted it, she knew that Steven, Lapis, and now she realized, Amethyst, did.

"I have no idea how this worked out." She stated with a grin. "But it's been amazing. Truly. I never believed any of you when you said that life could be like this. I was wrong. This has been the best fun I've ever had in my life." She told them honestly.

Steven looked like he was about to burst into happy tears. "I don't even know how this happened, but I'm so, so, so glad it did!" He sniffled.

"Nice one, Jazz!" Amethyst cheered.

Jasper smiled at them, before realizing that she still hadn't actually apologized to Amethyst or the others after Lapis had had made her realize she should. Even if she was still hurt about the conversation she'd overheard and even if the apology was so long overdue that it might not matter anymore, she still had to say it. It was the only way forward.

"Amethyst." She started, her tone immediately catching the purple gem's full attention. "I'm sorry, by the way, for all those things I said about you before I was corrupted." She continued, trying to ignore the shocked faces all around, the earnest feeling in her heart outweighing her embarrassment. "I used you to make myself feel better. I tried to belittle you to make myself feel bigger. The things I said were born from my own self-hatred and they weren't really directed against you." She turned to look at each of the others in turn. "I said things about all of you that I regret. I think it was because I felt jealous that you all seemed to have such strong bonds that I couldn't understand. You played by a set of rules that was beyond me. It made me angry, because you gave lie to everything I'd known. And I'm sorry that it took me this long to realize it. Lapis shared some of what you all taught her about forgiveness and what's deserving of it. I know it might take a while for me to make it right, but I hope you'll let me try."

All four of them were staring at her, utterly astonished. Terrified embarrassment surged through her, growing stronger with every silent second that passed. She was sweating again, wondering if she'd somehow said something horribly wrong.

Garnet finally smiled. "Well said."

Her words broke the charged silence and snapped them all out of their trance. Amethyst blushed, flipping her hair over her eyes to hide her happy tears. Pearl laughed in amazement. Steven took a flying leap towards her and Jasper caught him automatically. He was laughing and crying.

"Did I do good?" She whispered to him.

He sniffed and chuckled. "Yeah, Jasper. You did real good."

She felt a mountain of pressure ease from her chest. She smiled, relieved tears springing to her eyes. She felt a greater happiness than she'd ever known as she fulfilled the most important teaching she'd learned so far.

Pearl stepped forward, looking embarrassed. "Actually, Jasper. We have something we need to apologize for too. We-"

" _No!"_ Garnet suddenly gasped, cutting her off. Jasper looked over and saw an expression of terror on the fusion's face.

The barn suddenly shuddered around them and the lights flickered erratically for a moment. The warrior gem's heart stuttered to a stop as she heard Lapis scream. She knew that scream and dread swam through her in a surging tide almost strong enough to knock her from her feet. It was same scream from long ago when they were Malachite; crazed, broken, and terrified. That scream still haunted her deepest fears. A millisecond later, she remembered that Peridot was with Lapis.

"You have to go!" She cried. She tossed Steven to Garnet, trusting the fusion would never let him fall, and blasted towards the door with every ounce of speed she had from a standing start.

 _Get to Lapis_ , was her only thought. Her heart pounded painfully and her breath was coming in ragged gasps of fear. She felt like she was running through water, felt like she was fighting for every step as she desperately raced to prevent the disaster that was unfolding. A part of her brain registered that the previously placid sky was a dark and foreboding grey as rain began pouring down in sheets. She rounded the corner of the barn, sliding in place on the wet ground.

What she saw was a scene out of her nightmares. Lapis was floating in midair, wings flared as water surged all around her. Her eyes glowed silver and her face was a mask of rage. The expression on her face was the expression that Jasper had cowered under for months; the expression that had broken her.

Her chest squeezed tightly and she suddenly couldn't breathe. The water was everywhere; it was in her eyes, in her mouth, in her nose. She was drowning again. A deep detached part of her brain wondered for a moment whether or not this had all been a dream.

Peridot's terrified scream snapped her free from her panic. She wasn't drowning. It was only water. She was okay.

Peridot, however, was not. She was cowering on the ground just inside the ever-thickening vortex of Lapis' power. Jasper's heart twisted with a new kind of fear as Lapis raised one hand, coalescing a huge copy from the swirling water around them. Those glowing eyes were focused only on Peridot. Jasper knew what would happen next and knew Peridot would never withstand it; Lapis' mind would not survive it.

She screamed a wordless denial as she charged towards them. Absolute terror raced through her body. She was scared she wouldn't make it in time and terrified that she would. She barely noticed the force of the vortex as she smashed through it. The terrified warrior gem stepped in between Peridot and the hand crashing down. She struck backwards, knocking Peridot back through the vortex behind her. She glanced up with just enough time to see Lapis' expression change to utter shock before the blow landed with all the force of the ocean. Her body and mind exploded with pain. For a long moment, she knew she'd been shattered. After what seemed like an eternity of agony a part of her distantly registered that she was somehow still whole.

 _Lapis._ The slender gem's name was her first full thought. She coughed weakly, dislodging enough water to take a ragged breath. Her entire form felt like a line of pain, but she did her best to ignore it, searching through her daze for the only gem that mattered to her in that moment. Her heart throbbed in agony as her blurry vision finally focused and she saw her. She looked utterly broken. Jasper struggled to rise, wanting to go to her somehow, but she was still unable to move.

" _Jasper_!" Lapis gasped, her voice ragged with relief. "Why did you do it? Why did you stop it?" She sobbed the questions as she floated downward, great tears rolling from her eyes.

Jasper cleared her throat, finally able to lift her head. Her head swam and she struggled to answer her. "Would … have hurt you more if... it had hit... her." Every word hurt.

" _What have I done_!?" Lapis cried. Her hands flew into her head and she screamed again, yanking at her hair.

Jasper had to go to her, but her body would not obey her. "Lapis." She coughed her name.

"Don't!" Lapis cried, tears falling faster as she shook her head wildly.

The warrior gem struggled harder to rise, managing to make it up onto her elbows. She shook her head, trying to clear the fog. She didn't have time to be hurt. Lapis needed her.

"Lapis, I'm fine!" She rasped, coughing again. It sent her head reeling again as the involuntary spasm sent pain shooting through her chest. She wheezed, still trying to sit up. "You haven't … done anything wrong. It's .. going to be... okay." Her voice was finally beginning to return to something resembling normal. She forced herself into a sitting position, trying to hide her pain at the motion.

" _ **No**_!" Lapis shrieked. "It's broken now!"

Jasper felt a trace of panic flare to life in her chest as she remembered her destruction of Lapis' sculpture. The expression on her face then had been an echo of Malachite; this was no echo. The look in Lapis' eyes was that of a crazed animal. It terrified the warrior gem to see her like this, but she swallowed her fear.

"Lapis, nothing is broken." She thanked the stars that her voice came out steady. "You haven't broken anything." She continued calmly, not wanting to trigger her any further.

"You're lying!" Lapis screamed at her.

Jasper jerked in shock at the accusation, managing to make it onto her knees. "Lapis, please! I've never lied to you!" She called, pushing herself onto her feet. She faced the agonized gem, opening her arms in a gesture of surrender. It took all of her control to keep her abused body from trembling. "I've told you the truth from the moment I asked you to fuse with me on that beach. Not once have I broken that trust. Not once have I been anything but loyal to you! Even if I didn't always know how to show it, it was always there! I just want you to be happy! Lapis, _please_!" She repeated earnestly.

"I hurt you." She whispered, clutching her hands over her chest and drawing herself into a ball in midair. "Again." Her voice broke with a heavy sob. "I was going to hurt Peridot." She gasped. "I'm _evil_!"

Jasper took a shaking few step towards her, knees weak as her sense of panic grew. She wanted to shout her denial of the word, but she was so afraid, so very afraid, of how Lapis would react. "You're not evil, Lapis. Just breathe, okay? Breathe." She forced her voice to remain calm.

"I shouldn't be breathing at all!" She shouted her words ragged and shrill. "I just stop breathing and poof and stay a gem forever! Maybe they should put me back in that mirror so I can never break anyone else! Or maybe... maybe I should just _shatter_!"

Jasper shook her head, denying that Lapis had actually just said those words. She refused to believe it. "Lapis. Lapis, listen to me. You have to calm down!" She begged desperately. "You could hurt yourself!"

Lapis chuckled darkly. The sound sent another bolt of terror down Jasper's spine. Slowly, Lapis began to lower herself until her bare feet touched the muddy ground. Her wings folded back into her gem as she gazed upward. "That's exactly why I should continue." Her voice was eerily calm.

Her vortex gave a deafening groan around them, water towering higher than the inky clouds; so high that it faded into a dark nothing howling above them. Terror raged through Jasper; terror not for herself, but for Lapis. The slender gem looked down to meet her eyes. The warrior gem felt a piece of her soul shatter as she stared into their fathomless depths, seeing an eternity of agony in them. Lapis was losing her mind right in front of her; losing her shredded sanity like grains of sand drifting on an endless beach and she was helpless to stop it. She was going to lose the person most precious to her all over again. First the Diamond she had been made for, now the Lapis Lazuli that had given her everything good in her existence.

Her heart felt as if it were being crushed in her chest. She stumbled forward and fell as one of Lapis' dreaded and familiar hands formed behind her. It reached towards the warrior gem, who found herself absolutely frozen with terror. Gently, but firmly, the hand grasped her and picked her up. Jasper was so surprised and terrified, she didn't fight as the phantom limb reached with her towards a gap forming in the swirling boundaries of the vortex. The warrior gem realized with a start of terror what was happening and instantly began trying to free herself. Lapis was saving her and Jasper knew with absolute certainty that she was going to destroy herself.

"No! _No_! _**No**_!" She repeated the shout of denial like a chant or prayer as she fought. "Lapis, don't!" She pleaded desperately, tears rolling down her cheeks as she panicked. "You can't let yourself be alone, Lapis, please! _Please let me stay with you_!"

"Please forget me." Lapis' whisper echoed in the water all around her as their eyes met again, just as Jasper was about to reach the threshold of the outside world. She was on her knees in the mud. Her empty eyes met Jasper's once more. A single tear trailed down her face.

Seeing her like that, like a scene from a nightmare made real, broke something inside the warrior gem. A sudden overwhelming sensation flared to life inside of her so strongly, her panic faded in an instant. She realized in that moment that the feelings she she felt for Lapis, the ones she had had no name for before, actually did. There had been a hunger growing inside of her. A hunger to be closer to Lapis. The same hunger that drove her to go to any lengths just to see the hydrokinetic gem smile and be happy. She suddenly knew why she felt this way about her; why she needed her so much that it hurt. She hadn't truly understood love until that moment she realized she was about to lose it. She was shaken down to her core with the sudden realization. A moment later, her resolve snapped into place like an iron band inside her. She had to stop this. Somehow, someway, she had to save Lapis. Save her, or die trying.

It felt as if a bolt of lightning had struck the warrior gem as every part of her rebelled. " _ **Lapis**_!" Her name was a screeching shout of defiance as Jasper somehow found the strength to burst free from the restraint. She hit the soggy ground on one knee, water falling in a burst around her, splashing into the muddy dirt. "I _won't_!" She shouted, surging to her feet and starting to walk towards her. "I won't leave you! I won't let you hurt yourself!" She swore loudly.

" _ **You have to go**_!" Lapis shrieked.

She lifted her hands and several watery copies formed around her. All of them lashed out at Jasper. The warrior gem reacted quickly, throwing herself sideways as one crashed to the ground where she had stood. She scrambled to her hands and knees and crawled forward as another crashed behind her. Several more came at her from all sides and it took every ounce of her skill to avoid them; never had she been so thankful for her life of war. Her eyes were locked on Lapis. The entire time she dodged, she was moving forward. As she grew closer and closer, the attacks grew feebler and feebler.

Lapis' eyes began to tear again, her expression of fury crumbling. "Jasper, please. Just go. Please." She sobbed.

Jasper came to a stop just outside reaching distance. "I won't." She said firmly.

Lapis dropped her head into her hands, their watery counterparts dissipating to vapor. "Why?" Her agonized voice was muffled by her skin. "How can you not see that this will be best for everyone?"

Jasper ached to reach for her, but she had to be careful not to trigger the gem she so desperately wanted to save. "Because it's _not_ , Lapis." She was trying her best to remain calm, but she could not stop the desperation she felt from escaping. "This isn't right!" She cried earnestly. "What could possibly be gained by this? What good could ever come of you destroying yourself?" She asked, voice breaking as she tried desperately to make Lapis understand.

"I won't be able to hurt anyone." Lapis answered, voice still a whisper.

"You'll be hurting you!" The warrior gem tried to reason.

"It doesn't matter. _I don't care_!" The last was a shout.

" _I_ _ **do**_!" Jasper shouted just as loudly. "I care! Steven cares! We all care, Lapis!"

The hydrokinetic gem was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe. Jasper inched forward, until she was close enough to take the devastated gem into her arms. Just as she reached for her, Lapis suddenly coalesced her wings and tried to dart away. The warrior gem reacted on instinct, barely managing to clasp her hand around Lapis' slender ankle.

"Let me go!" Lapis shrieked. "I'll hurt you!" Her voice was desperate.

"I'd rather you hurt me than yourself." Jasper cried. Panicked tears rolled down her cheeks. With this much water around her, Lapis was much more powerful than her. She could feel the slender ankle slipping from her grasp and tightened her fingers as much as she dared. "Please, don't do this! Lapis, _please_!"

Jasper was sobbing so hard it was almost impossible to keep her grip on Lapis firm without hurting her. As Lapis struggled harder, the warrior gem desperately reached down and dug her fingers as deep into the muddy earth as she could, anchoring herself to the ground. She was prepared to let herself be torn apart if that was what it took to keep Lapis safe from this horrible nightmare end.

The slender gem grunted as she strained against her. " _Just let me go_!" She sobbed. Her power surged, wings flaring larger as she tried to pull away.

Jasper screamed in agony as her fingers trembled in the dirt, tendons stretched to their limit. It felt like her very joints would separate from force of fighting to keep Lapis grounded, but she would never let go. " _ **Never**_!" She cried with all the force she was able. "I'll _never_ stop fighting for you! _Jasper's don't give up_!" She shouted, somehow finding the strength to make one last, powerful effort.

Lapis was at the lowest and most vulnerable point in her wing stroke and was jerked backwards, body spinning so that she crashed headfirst into Jasper's chest. The warrior gem immediately wrapped her arm around the slender gem before she could react. Her fingers left the dirt as she crashed backwards, pulling the still stunned gem into the curve of her body. Though her other arm was cramped and trembling, she forced it around Lapis as well, squeezing her into a tight and inescapable hug as she began to fight. She lowered her chin to the top of Lapis' head and locked her aching muscles into place.

Lapis shrieked as she tried to fight away, wings battering the warrior gem, but Jasper held firm. "I've got you, Lapis. It's okay." She whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "We're gonna be okay, I'll never stop fighting. I'll fight for you for the rest of my life, I promise you, Lapis so please... please, please come back to me and end this nightmare. Live with me, Lapis. I can't do it without you. Please. Please." Her whispering voice broke in a sob as she repeated the word over and over through her tears.

Lapis was screaming, crying, writhing in her arms. Her nails and teeth dug repeatedly into the warrior gem's shoulder and neck, wings flailing madly. Jasper simply held her grip, letting the pain fade into the background. She was fully prepared to wait and endure as long as she had to. After a few immeasurably long moments, the exhausted warrior gem noticed the darkness beyond her closed eyelids was growing lighter. The moment she noticed the change, Lapis began to slowly quiet in her arms. She blinked open her eyes to see the clouds slowly breaking up outside the vortex as its terrible howling began to ease. Lapis' wings drooped and then dissolved.

Lapis was coming to her senses. The nightmare was ending. Jasper sobbed with relief, burying her face in slender gem's hair. "Thank you, Lapis. Oh, _thank you_!" Her words were mumbled sobs as Lapis slowly hugged her back.

A few moments later, Lapis was clinging to her in earnest. Her screams slowly quieted as the great towering vortex began to dissipate. Great, wrenching sobs rocked her body and Jasper was sobbing just as hard. They clung to each other like they were the last living beings to survive some great catastrophe; in a way, that was exactly what they were.

Slowly, the sun finally began peeking through the disappearing clouds. A strong beam shined on them, chasing away some of the chill from the water. After a long time, Jasper's sobs eased. Her thoughts were still strangely blank of anything but relief as she continued to comfort the slender gem. She ran her hand up and down Lapis' back, smoothing down her short hair with the other. Slowly, as the sky resumed it's previous, brilliant blue, Lapis finally calmed. Her breathing eased and Jasper simply held her as the world slowly came back into focus.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you." Lapis told her in a broken whisper.

Jasper didn't want to hear those words. Lapis had nothing to apologize for. Beyond anything, Jasper was far too grateful that Lapis had fought her way back from the dark place that she had just gone. She was so happy and relieved, she couldn't help but to try and make light of the situation; anything else would drive her insane.

She affected a snort. "You think that hurt?" She jokingly lied. "I can take anything you can dish out, Lazuli."'

Lapis pulled back slightly and looked at her, frowning. "Be serious."

The warrior gem sobered and looked her right in the eye. "I am." Jasper cupped the side of the slender gem's face with one hand, her thumb catching a stray tear. "No matter how bad things get, no matter how trapped or lost or broken you feel, nothing you can do will ever hurt me enough not to be here, Lapis."

Her heart skipped a beat as Lapis leaned into her touch for a long moment. The slender gem looked up at her, eyes glistening. Jasper smiled unconsciously as she saw hope and gratitude and determination shining in those eyes. Lapis was ready to fight again and the warrior gem wanted to sing with sheer happiness.

"I'm really glad you're here, Jasper." Lapis whispered earnestly, tears springing back into her eyes.

Jasper felt her own burning eyes water again. "I'm glad I am too." Her heart swelled within her chest and she smiled softly as she realized again that what she felt for Lapis was love. She looked at the slender gem, letting the feeling wash through her aching form.

For a moment, Jasper felt the urge to say it aloud, but something in her held her back. Somehow, it seemed too precious to say aloud. Right now, she just wanted to be close to the gem in her arms and enjoy the fact that she was still here, still fighting, still living. She leaned down as Lapis lifted her head. Their foreheads touched and Jasper looked deeply into Lapis' eyes, surging with so much raw emotion she felt like she'd catch fire. Lapis stared back at her just as fiercely, eyes shining with everything at once.

After a long moment, Lapis' eyes lost some of their fire and she yawned hugely. Jasper smiled, amused at the cute expression on slender gem's face. How close had she come to never seeing that again? She watched her blink sleepily for a moment, cherishing the peaceful feeling, before her utter exhaustion caught up with her. She couldn't fight her own yawn and found Lapis smiling softly at her when she blinked her eyes open again. Both of them laughed. The warrior gem had never felt so wonderful as she did upon hearing that laugh.

Belatedly, she remembered Steven and the Crystal Gems "Should we go check on the others?"

Lapis pouted. She tucked her head back under the warrior gem's chin. "Can we just... stay like this for a little while longer?" The blue gem asked in a whisper.

Jasper wrapped both arms around her again and squeezed her tightly. "Whatever you want, Lapis." And it was true. Jasper was willing to do anything for the gem in her arms at that moment. The time would come for them to face the others, but for now, she simply wanted Lapis.

Lapis snuggled into the crook of her arm, nuzzling into Jasper's collarbone. The warrior gem shivered as Lapis' breath trailed up her neck. She tilted her head sideways and buried her face in slender gem's soft hair. Jasper closed her eyes, soaking in the feel of the sun on her skin and Lapis in her arms. The wind brushed over them, bringing with it the fresh scent that only comes after the rain. Her backside was wet and her hair was still damp, tickling coolly over her shoulders, but the minor irritations only accented the wonderful way she felt. As far as she was concerned, it was as perfect a moment as it got.

Long after, something stirred the warrior gem. She hadn't even realized she fallen asleep. She was still sitting up with Lapis in her arms, face buried in the slender gem's soft hair. She smiled to herself at the sensation and started to drift off again, not caring that they were still outside, when a soft whispering sound roused her again. She blinked open her eyes and turned her head slightly to see Steven standing there, smiling at them. She smiled back at him, turning her head more. She was very careful, trying not wake the gem in her arms.

"I'm glad you're both okay." He whispered.

"Me too." Jasper sighed softly. "Is everyone alright?"

He nodded."Everyone is fine." He told her, still whispering. "But we have to go." He sighed quietly. "Peridot already left. I just didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"You don't have to go." Lapis murmured. Jasper sat up fully and blinked down at the hydrokinetic gem, who sat up in her lap and stretched.

"I didn't know you were awake." Jasper said softly.

"You moved." Lapis yawned by way of explanation.

Jasper chuckled. "I'll try to be a better mattress from now on."

Lapis smiled sleepily at her. "You say that, but you always move." Then her eyes went wide and she blushed fiercely and glanced at Steven. Jasper blushed as well and glanced at him too, wondering if she should let Lapis go so that they could stand up.

The boy was staring at them, eyes wide and sparkling with happiness. His grin was so huge it looked painful. "I'm so glad you two are friends now." He said simply.

Jasper smiled at him, feeling her anxiety fade as Lapis relaxed in her arms. This was Steven. They never had to hide from him. "You have no idea how glad I am too." She said earnestly.

Lapis hummed in agreement, ducking her head with an embarrassed smile. Then she looked back up at Steven. "You really don't have to go."

Steven shook his head, still smiling. "I'll come back. Don't worry. I've missed both of you. Now I can see you both in one visit!" He said happily. He looked at Jasper. "I really am glad that you're okay, Jasper. I've been worried about you." He said earnestly.

Jasper felt her heart swell at his words. "I missed you too." She said honestly. She glanced at Lapis, who smiled softly at her. "We meant to tell you eventually, you know." She said to him.

Lapis nodded. "I was just waiting for the right time."

Steven's smile grew big again. "Well, then I guess today was the right time. But, I'll see you both later. I'm..." He trailed off with a frown. "I'm kind've worried about Peridot. I want to check on her."

Lapis immediately tensed. "Is she okay? Did I hurt her?" She asked, voice panicked.

Steven immediately held up his hands and shook his head. "You didn't hurt her. She said Jasper saved her just in time." Jasper was stunned to hear that, but Steven continued before she could comment. "She said she was sorry by the way, to both of you. I know that she should have said it herself, but she asked me to say it for her and so I am. I don't know if it helps, but she seemed like she really meant it." His eyes were sad.

Lapis looked away, but Jasper caught a glimpse of the darkness in her eyes. The slender gem's shoulders hunched and she began trembling. Jasper immediately pulled her into a hug, trying to erase the pain she knew Lapis was feeling in that moment. "It's okay." She whispered, rocking her slightly. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry." Steven whispered.

"You're fine." Jasper told him, not wanting Lapis to feel the need to reply. "Everything will be okay." She whispered to both of them.

Steven waved, still looking sad and started towards the others. Jasper could see them all waiting for him near the barn. She wondered, for a moment, if Lapis' loss of control would change their opinion about the slender gem. She fervently hoped that it wouldn't.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **Before I say anything else, I must say this: Life is precious. Please, never, ever think that the only option you have is the easy way out. I promise you loves, it's not easy. No matter how lost or broken you feel, there is always something worth fighting for. Always. And I'm extending this invitation to all of you: if you EVER need anyone to talk to, please feel free to message me. I will do my best to reply honestly and quickly. I do truly love you all.**

 **Now. I'm so stuper happy that this chapter is finally up. Here is a little Easter Egg for you all; a large part of this chapter was written over a year ago, before I even posted the first one. It was actually the third section I wrote when I first started to write this story. This has been planned since before the beginning and it's not the only one. There were a few before this and a few to come in the future that have been laid in stone before I even finalized the beginning. I TOLD you we were on a journey, loves. I plan to reveal all at the end of this story, but I do apologize, because that won't be for quite a while! (Wink, wink!)**

 **This story has been in my mind for a very long time now and it's taken us over a year to get this far. I sincerely thank you all again for putting up with my hiatuses and random posting times. I wish I had the means to give you all a huge hug.**

 **Also, I must apologize again, but I've decided to hold all shout outs until the end of the story. I'm very sorry if this upsets anyone. I've been speaking to several people about it and I think it's a good idea. I simply cannot find the words to express my gratitude, beyond the way I am doing so right now. I appreciate all of you. Each and every one. So, technically I already have given a shout out. To all of you. I am very grateful you've joined the journey we are taking.**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 30**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: Thank you guys so much for your support! I lerv ya. But we'll talk at the end.**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

" _ **No**_!"

Jasper jerked awake when she heard Lapis scream. She instantly rolled off of the couch and went to steady her wildly rocking hammock, cursing herself for falling asleep. "Lapis! Lapis, wake up!" She cried, reaching for her. The slender gem woke with a shriek, wings coalescing from her gem. She immediately tried to fly away, but Jasper caught her before she could. She pulled the panicked gem into her arms as she continued to scream.

" _ **No**_!" She cried again, fighting to free herself.

Jasper moved to the couch as she felt her balance failing. She fell onto it, pulling Lapis with her. She gritted her teeth as the slender gem continued to fight. Her entire body ached and Lapis' struggles caused the healing bruises all over Jasper's body to smart horridly, but, for Lapis, she could endure. She squeezed Lapis tighter and closed her eyes, knowing from experience that nothing she said would register to the hysterical gem until she calmed.

For three days, Lapis had done nothing but sleep, no matter how hard she fought to stay awake. Her enormous display of power had taken a much greater toll on her than either of them had first realized. Such a display with the entire ocean at her beck and call was one thing; drawing the very clouds down from the sky and forming them into the terrifying vortex that would forever haunt the warrior gem's nightmares was another matter. Jasper was been exhausted as well and had been resting as much as she could herself to recover as quickly as possible. It would have been fine, if not for the fact that Lapis' sleep had been interrupted frequently by terrible nightmares. The warrior gem hated to see her like this. Neither of them could get the rest they needed to fully recover. The slender gem kept insisting on sleeping alone and the warrior gem could see that Lapis felt horribly guilty for frightening her over and over. Jasper didn't care about her own rest, but seeing Lapis so plagued, devastated her. She would have gladly taken on the nightmares herself to spare the hysterical gem in her arms this torment. It made her feel so helpless that there was nothing she could do besides comfort her until she calmed. She thanked every star she knew that Steven and the others hadn't decided to make another visit. She could only imagine how much damage that would do to Lapis' already tortured mind.

After several long moments Lapis began to calm and Jasper barely stifled a sigh of relief. She had learned to be very careful of anything on her part that Lapis could misinterpret as annoyance or anger. It had been a very delicate balance to learn with her mind as frazzled as it was, but Lapis' well being was worth any effort on her part.

She ran her fingers through the slender gem's tangled hair gently, offering what comfort she could without letting her go. "It's okay, Lapis. I've got you." She whispered softly, now that she knew the slender gem could hear her again.

"J-Jasper?" Lapis gasped. She was trembling so hard her teeth were chattering.

"It's me." She reassured her. "I've got you."

Lapis dissolved into sobs, clinging to the warrior gem with an almost bruising grip. Jasper held her tightly, rocking her unconsciously as she continued to whisper words of comfort. Slowly, her sobs eased, until she was simply trembling in the warrior gem's arms.

"I'm sorry." She whispered shakily.

Jasper shook her head. "Don't apologize, Lapis. I'm here for you." She'd said the words a hundred times and had meant it every single time.

She still didn't know what had triggered Lapis that day. She still didn't know what Peridot had done that was so bad that it had made the gem in her arms lose control in such a way. She knew that Lapis needed to release this pain, but also knew that it was too soon to pry. All she could do was reassure her and comfort her, and so that was what she would do. They were silent for a long moment and the warrior gem felt her utter exhaustion dragging at her. She wanted nothing more in this moment to sleep with Lapis in her arms. Even if she couldn't chase Lapis' nightmares away, she wanted to help her in any way she could.

"I hate this." Lapis whispered, snapping the warrior gem from her doze.

Jasper cursed herself for almost falling asleep again. Even if she now knew that sleeping was the fastest way for her own body to heal, Lapis' healing meant far more to her than her own. Lapis could not be alone; it was far too dangerous with her mental state the way it was. She knew that with the same certainty that she knew that she loved the gem in her arms with every fiber of her being.

The morbid thought made her want to scream in denial. She jerked her thoughts free from the darkness threatening to overtake them. She could not afford to think in such a way. Not now.

Instead, she tried to make light of the situation. It was all she could do. "Sorry. Maybe if we spread a blanket on me, I'll be more comfortable mattress."

Lapis sighed and sat up. Reluctantly, the warrior gem let her arms fall away. The lost look in Lapis' eyes, hurt her to see. Her haunted navy eyes lingered on the visible bruises marring the warrior gem's flesh. "No. I should get back in bed." The slender gem made to pull away, her voice trembling.

Jasper felt her heart lurch and stopped her with hands to her shoulders. "Lapis, don't. Let me hold you." She pleaded gently.

The slender gem stopped trying to pull away, but remained stiff under her touch. "I don't want to keep you awake."

Jasper gently cupped Lapis' cheek with her hand, tilting the slender gem's face up so that she could look into her eyes. "I want to be awake with you, Lapis." She told her earnestly.

Lapis blinked at her, a spark of something flaring in her eyes, before they drooped again. She sagged into Jasper's touch for a moment. "I'm just tired." She whispered.

"I know." She replied softly. Slowly, gently, she pulled Lapis into another hug.

The slender gem let her, reaching up to wrap her arms around the warrior gem's neck and hugging her back. "I just want this to be over." She breathed.

Jasper reached up again to smooth down Lapis' soft hair. "I know. But it will get better, Lapis. I promise. We'll get through this." And she knew they would. Accepting any other outcome was not an option.

Another long silence stretched between them. Jasper continued to stroke Lapis' hair, gently untangling it with her fingers. "That feels nice." The slender gem murmured softly.

Jasper smiled. "Your hair is so soft. Even when you have bedhead." She chuckled softly.

Lapis sighed. A moment later, Jasper felt Lapis' fingers trailing through the hair at the nape of her neck. The soft touch sent pleasant shivers down the warrior gem's spine and she closed her eyes.. "Yours is too. Even when it reminds me of Lion's mane."

Jasper's smile widened hearing humor in the slender gem's tone. "I know. Majestic suits me."

Lapis laughed softly. Jasper felt her heart leap at the sound; it had become rarer than she liked. "Yeah. Majestic is _definitely_ the word I was thinking." Lapis teased.

The warrior gem hummed in amusement. "Why thank you, your radiance."

"You're welcome."

Jasper was happier than she had been in days as she and Lapis continued to pet each other's hair. It had been days since Lapis had truly let herself be held. Jasper had always cherished moments like this, but after what had happened... now they were more precious than ever. She felt Lapis snuggle closer to her and got the sense that Lapis was enjoying the embrace as much as she was. She felt warmth flood her chest and sighed happily, wondering at the soft moment. If only Lapis knew how much it meant to her.

She suddenly felt the urge again to tell the gem in her arms how she felt. Now that she had realized how she truly felt about Lapis, the urge to tell her was almost overwhelming, but she bit the words back again. She didn't know exactly why, but the thought of actually saying it aloud, scared her. The thought that her confession might change the way they interacted with each other, loomed in the dark corners of her mind.

In her waking moments, watching the slender gem sleep fitfully, her mind had made connections she couldn't see before. She had realized that she had loved Lapis all along. Even when she hated the hydrokinetic gem, she had already loved her. Now she could see that her twisted attempt to refuse with Lapis on the ship had been an unconscious declaration of love. That confession had gone horribly wrong. Even if everything was different now, she couldn't shake the fear that Lapis would reject her again. It was a painful, terrifying thought.

Lapis yawned, pulling the warrior gem from her thoughts. "I don't want to sleep again." Lapis whispered, a thread of fear lacing her tone.

Jasper hated to hear it. "What do you want to do instead?" She asked.

The slender gem sighed. "I don't know. I'm too tired to think of anything."

Jasper frowned and began wracking her brain for something they could do. She could set up Camp Pining Hearts, but she knew that Lapis had seen it many times before. It wouldn't be enough to keep her awake. If they hadn't been so tired, she'd have suggested playing their instruments.

Then, she had a sudden thought. "Are there videos about music on TubeTube?" She asked.

Lapis sat up and blinked tiredly at her. "What do you mean? Like learning about music or listening to it?"

"Listening." Jasper answered immediately. They were both too tired to learn anything.

"There are."

"Where's your phone?"

"Plugged in beside the television." Lapis answered, yawning again.

The warrior gem carefully picked Lapis up and sat her on the couch, before retrieving the phone. "Let's listen to music for awhile." She suggested.

Lapis smiled softly at her. "Sounds perfect."

Jasper beamed, happy to have been able to find a solution. She came back and sat sideways on the couch, drawing one leg up and letting the other dangle to the floor. She lounged back, half lying and opened her arms to Lapis. "C'mere." She ordered, sending the slender gem a soft smile. "I'm not done holding you yet." She waited hopefully for Lapis' response.

Lapis laughed at the soft order and crawled over to her. Jasper felt enormously happy that the slender gem hadn't protested to the cuddling. Lapis laid sideways on top of her, back against the beck of the couch. After some wiggling to get comfortable, Jasper ended up with her head on the arm of the couch, legs dangling over the far end. Lapis was lying almost fully atop her now and the slender gem laid her her head on Jasper's shoulder, before reaching for the phone the warrior gem still held. Jasper gave it to her, pillowing one arm behind her neck for support..

"What kind of music do you want to listen to?" She asked.

"You pick. I haven't ever really listened to music before." The warrior gem answered, wrapping her other arm around the slender gem.

"In that case..." Lapis trialed off, already typing. "Let's listen to this." She laid the phone down on Jasper's stomach and curled into her, bringing one arm up to drape across the warrior gem's chest.

Jasper felt her heart skip a beat as Lapis relaxed on top of her. It was the first time they had laid down like this on purpose. They had woken up like this many times when they had fallen asleep watching Camp Pining Hearts, but had never actually meant to. It was a whole new experience to enjoy, lying like this in the dim light. Maybe it was because of the realization she'd had, but it felt special and she greatly enjoyed it.

Soft music began playing from the phone. Jasper didn't recognize the instrument, but she hadn't expected to. Still, the rich, almost mournful sound of it drew her in almost immediately. The notes sang in the air and drew a strange sensation from her. It was almost as if she wanted to cry and smile at the same time. It was slow, almost haunting, but there was an undertone of hopefulness laced into the sadness that predominated; almost as if it was telling the tale of a lost soul who still hoped to be found. On and on it went, and the hopeful undertones began to dominate, slowly overtaking the mournful melody. By the end, the music almost seemed to be laughing with it's own sort of happiness as the sadness disappeared entirely. A long, sweet, high note rang through the air and then, there was silence.

Jasper was overtaken with a profound sense of awe. "That was amazing." She said honestly, when she could speak again.

Lapis tilted her head to look up at her, smiling happily. "I know. I want to play one so badly."

"What kind of instrument is it?" She asked.

"A violin." Lapis sighed. "I've wanted one ever since I heard one playing in a video once."

The warrior gem could hear the longing in Lapis' tone. Regretfully, she knew there was no way she could get Lapis a violin. Maybe she'd be able to someday, when she knew more about Earth and how humans managed to acquire such things. She made a mental note to ask Steven about it discreetly in the future. He would know.

"Play me something else you like?" She asked softly.

Lapis smiled again and picked up the phone. "You'll really like this one." She said, eagerly typing with her thumb.

Jasper smiled to herself as she watched Lapis searching for the song. There were bags under her eyes and she still looked haggard, but the light in her eyes made Jasper very happy. She sighed contentedly as the slender gem chose her song and lay back down.

"I know I will." She whispered, just before the song began to play. She closed her eyes and let the music and the feel of Lapis against her wash over her. There was absolutely nowhere else she'd rather be.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Jasper blinked open her eyes, feeling more refreshed than she had in days. She was surprised to see the sky lightening outside. It had been pitch dark outside when she and Lapis had begun listening to music. She glanced down and couldn't help but to smile at what she saw. Lapis was still asleep and it was the most relaxed sleep the warrior gem had seen her in since before the horrid events of the other's visit. She lay utterly still so as not to disturb her and simply watched. No matter how many times she looked at Lapis, she never got used to how beautiful she was. Even now, with a little speck of drool on the corner of her mouth and sleep tousled hair, Jasper was mesmerized. She found herself smiling as the slender gem let out a soft snore. How long she lay there simply watching Lapis sleep, she didn't know, but the morning sky outside the windows had long since brightened to to day before the slender gem stirred.

She almost couldn't fight a chuckle as the slender gem immediately snuggled further into her, before blinking open her eyes. "Jasper?" She whispered. She looked a little lost.

"I'm here." Jasper immediately replied. She squeezed the slender gem with the arm that was still around her.

Lapis sighed and tightened her arm about the warrior gem's shoulders. Her eyes drifted shut again and she lay there for a few moments longer. A slow smile stretched across her face. "You didn't move this time." She said after a moment.

The warrior gem laughed aloud, surprised by the soft joke. "I'm _told_ you I could be a good mattress."

Lapis hummed. "Still too firm though."

The warrior gem smirked. "What can I say? Sometimes it's a curse to be this good looking."

It was Lapis' turn to laugh. "I'm sure it is." She teased softly.

Another silence descended on them, but Jasper didn't mind. A smile still played over Lapis' lips. The warrior gem wished wistfully that they could lay here like this forever, suspended in this peaceful moment. The silence was broken by an odd barking sound from outside. The warrior gem immediately tensed and felt Lapis do the same atop her. She sat up, drawing Lapis up with her.

"What was that?" She asked.

The barking sounded again, closer than before. Lapis' face morphed from confusion, to shock. "That can't be-"

Something slammed against the smaller door, causing both of them to jump. It was a creature of some kind, she realized as it began sniffling at the bottom of the door. The loud snuffling and scraping made Jasper's hair stand on end. She shook off her shock. She had to protect Lapis. The warrior gem stood, gently toppling the still shocked Lapis onto the couch and made ready to face the threat bearing down on their home. She leapt down, carefully angling her feet so that she landed silently and crept towards the door. Just as she reached it, the snuffling stopped and a low, sad sounding whimper came from the other side of the door. That whimper sounded familiar. She rose from her crouch and opened the door just enough to peek outside. What she saw, astounded her.

"Pumpkin!" She cried, swinging the door all the way open.

The little orange creature ran into the home, barking madly. She pranced around Jasper's feet, tongue lolling from her mouth. Great globs of sticky orange saliva flew from her mouth as she let out another flurry of happy barks. Jasper laughed at the display and knelt to pet her. Pumpkin arced into her touch, with a happy rumbling sound.

She recalled that Peridot and Lapis had both cared for the orange creature and wondered if the slender gem might have missed her. "Lapis!" She cried, turning to face the loft. She saw the slender gem standing near the couch, mouth agape. "It's Pumpkin!"

Tears sprang into Lapis' eyes and she let out a little sob. Her wings coalesced and she flew swiftly down to kneel beside them. "Pumpkin?" She called softly.

Pumpkin blinked at her and seemed to vibrate under Jasper's hand. A moment later, she flew at Lapis, whimpering and yipping. The force sent Lapis tumbling backwards, but she seemed not to care as she embraced the excited little creature. She laughed through her tears as Pumpkin began licking her face, covering it in sticky goo.

"Oh, I'm so happy to see you, girl!" The slender gem cried, petting the orange creature all over.

The both of them were so happy at their reunion that Jasper felt sympathetic tears of joy prick at her own eyes. She blinked them away as she heard someone yelling outside. "Jasper! Lapis!" She grinned as she recognized Steven's voice.

"Steven!" She cried, standing. She jogged the few steps to the door, reaching it just as the boy approached. She grinned wider as she saw Connie was with him. The presence of the rose sword made her hesitate a little, before she remembered that the Crystal Gems had been adamant about him not leaving entirely alone. She'd almost forgotten the trouble with the corruptions in these peaceful months with Lapis. It was good to know that the human girl was fighting with them still, even if she herself wasn't. "Hi, Connie!" She greeted her happily.

The girl smiled up at her. "Hi, Jasper! I hope it's okay that we're here." There was a hint of worry in her eyes and the warrior gem knew without asking that Steven had told her what had happened.

The thought chilled her and she glanced back at Lapis. A wave of relief passed through her as she saw that Lapis was still happily smiling as she petted Pumpkin. The long, peaceful sleep had obviously done her a world of good and Jasper was thankful.

She turned back to them and smiled. "Of course it is!" She said firmly. "Come on in." She stood back so that the young adults could enter.

"Hey, Lapis!" Steven called. He ran to her and stooped to give her a hug.

"Steven!" Lapis hugged him back, smiling hugely. When he released her, she gave Pumpkin another happy pat and stood. "Hi, Connie." She said softly.

Connie smiled at her. "It's good to see you, Lapis." She walked over and held out her hand.

Lapis took it and squeezed it lightly, returning the smile. "It's good to see you, too." Then she glanced at the door as their hands fell apart. "Is... anyone else with you?" She asked softly, voice trembling ever so slightly.

"Just us." Steven replied, staring around again at the art that adorned their home.

Jasper swore she saw a flash of sadness ad something darker in Lapis' eyes, but the slender gem turned away before she could be sure, making a show of watching Pumpkin explore the larger space. The warrior gem hesitated a moment, wondering whether or not to ask her what was wrong, before deciding against it. If Lapis had wanted Steven and Connie to know, she wouldn't have turned away. She made a mental note to ask about it later.

"So, what brings you by today?" She asked lightly.

Steven's happy expression faded a little. "Can't I just want to visit?" He smiled, but there was a guarded look to his eyes.

The warrior gem had been mostly joking, but the sudden change in his demeanor sent little warning bells off in her mind. Something was wrong. The quick, worried, glance he shot at Lapis only confirmed her assumption.

She turned to Lapis. "Hey, Lapis? Why don't you show Connie some of our morps? I want to take Pumpkin for a walk with Steven, if that's okay." She couldn't entirely hide the worry in her tone, but she hoped that Lapis wouldn't press. She shot Connie a quick pleading glance. She didn't want Lapis to be alone, but she needed to talk to Steven.

The slender gem turned back to face them. She glanced from Jasper to Steven, frowning slightly, before replying. "Sure."

Connie stepped closer to her without needing to be prodded. The warrior gem was thankful that the highly intelligent girl was so quick on the uptake. "Did you do all of these paintings?" The girl asked, sounding genuinely interested.

Lapis smiled at her, a blush dancing over her cheeks. "I did. I didn't have much to work with, but I did my best."

Connie shook her head with a soft laugh. "They're really amazing. How did you come up with that color combination?"

Jasper smiled as the two of them fell into a conversation about color and lighting, before glancing at Steven. She titled her head to the door. He sighed softly and started out. Jasper turned and patted her leg to catch Pumpkin's attention. The orange creature immediately gave up her exploring and came to her. When the warrior gem started towards the door, Pumpkin darted past her, almost tripping Steven as she pushed past him in the doorway.

She joined him as he steadied himself and they stepped outside. Silently, she started walking, slowing her pace so that Steven could walk beside her. She watched Pumpkin run through the emerald green grass, bouncing happily; at least someone was worry free. After a few yards, she looked down at Steven. His cloudy expression sent a bolt of foreboding to her gut.

"What's wrong?" She asked him, unable to take the suspense any longer.

He looked up at her quickly, before glancing down again. "Peridot's missing." He said sadly, suddenly looking very tired.

Jasper jerked to a halt. " _What_?" The warrior gem cried loudly. She winced and glanced back at her home to see if Lapis had heard. After a moment, she breathed a sigh of relief, before focusing back on Steven. "What do you mean, Peridot's missing?" She asked, keeping her voice to a normal volume.

"She's been missing since the day we came. She went back before we did. At first, we all thought that she was shut up in the bathroom. It was a few hours later when I needed to use it, that we noticed she was gone. I feel so bad for not noticing sooner." He said miserably, tears pricking at his eyes. "She's my friend. I should have checked on her. I just..." He trailed off with a sniffle. "I just thought she needed some time alone to think. But I was wrong. She's gone." He tried to bite back a sob. "She'd feel so bad if she knew that I didn't even noticed she wasn't there. I'm such a bad friend!"

Jasper pushed away her shock and knelt beside him. Before he could say anything else, she drew him into a hug. He hugged her back, and started sobbing in earnest. She held him and let him cry. It was just as painful to see his tears as it was to see Lapis'. She didn't like seeing the friends she cared about cry for any reason.

Steven didn't let himself cry for long. She could hear him fighting the tears and biting back more sobs as he tried to pull himself together. She felt a strange sense of pride when he pulled away with his jaw set. His eyes were a little red and a line of snot dripped from his nose, but the strength in his watery eyes again reminded her that he was the true leader of the Crystal Gems. It had been the best decision of her life to follow Lapis' light to him.

As he went to wipe his snotty nose with his hand, Jasper quickly reached into her pocket and produced a few tissues. She'd begun keeping a supply of them on hand at all times and was thankful for it now. He blinked gratefully at her and blew his nose, before shoving the soiled tissue into his pocket.

"Thanks, Jasper."

She smiled at him. "Don't mention it."

He nodded and rubbed at his eyes. The redness only made the faint circles under them appear darker. "I came to ask if you and Lapis would keep Pumpkin until we find Peridot." His tone was flat with none of his usual playfulness. He was in mission mode. It sent a pang of nostalgia through her to see him like this.

Jasper blinked at the request. "Of course we will." She said instantly. "But don't you want us to help you look?" She wanted to at least offer to help, even if she wasn't at the top of her game.

He shook his head. "You're still hurt. And I know that Lapis is too. We can handle it." He said firmly. "I just don't want Pumpkin to be lonely while we search. Cat-Steven wouldn't let us bring her through the warp, but she can fend for herself pretty well. When Lion comes back from his hunt, he'll be with Connie and I while we keep searching."

"Where all have you looked?" She asked, feeling a pang of worry for Peridot.

"Everywhere we can think of. Amethyst took off searching for her as soon as we realized she was gone. She hasn't even come back to the house at all." He sighed again, letting his shoulders sag. "Peridot's really smart. She must have known we'd come after her eventually so she hasn't left any signs." He grumbled darkly.

"And Garnet can't see her?" Jasper didn't know exactly how sapphires worked, but she had thought locating a gem she knew so well would be something the fusion could do.

Steven shook his head. "She says that until Peridot makes a conscious decision to let herself be found or we actually find her, there are too many variables to take into account." He said, sounding almost like he was quoting her.

Jasper frowned. That sounded _very_ ominous. "So you're working blind."

He nodded with another heavy sigh. "Yep. Kind've becoming a normal thing these days."

The warrior gem knew exactly how he felt. "What about the corruption activity?"

"Still more than usual. So I guess that's becoming the normal too." His attempt at a joke fell flat. "That's why we're in teams while we look for Peridot. Except for Amethyst, that is..." His tone grew dark again. "She won't stay in one place long enough for any of us to catch up with her. In a way, we're searching for both of them while still trying to round up the active corruptions." He sagged again, looking so tired Jasper almost thought he'd pass out where he stood.

The warrior gem felt an enormous wave of guilt and averted her eyes in shame. While she had been here, playing music and carving fish, Steven and the others had never stopped fighting. And now, on top of the war they were already fighting, they had effectively lost two members. She had seen Amethyst's dogged persistence firsthand. She wouldn't stop until she'd found Peridot. Peridot was wily and had studied Earth and fought with the Crystal Gems enough to know their patterns. She would be very hard to find. If only there was something she could do. She wanted so badly to help, but she couldn't leave Lapis alone! She could never leave Lapis now. She had sworn to protect her and couldn't bear to see her hurt again. And then she realized another problem.

Once Lapis realized that Peridot was missing, she'd blame herself. Jasper felt her heart twist as she imagined the effect it would have on her. Lapis had had only a brief respite from the torture of her own mind; this would surely break her again. The warrior gem suddenly felt so very tired. Every ache that she'd all but forgotten seemed to flare in unison, mocking her less than ideal state. The both of them had only just barely survived. It was too soon; they were both too raw.

She looked back at Steven, who seemed to realize that she was fighting something inside her. The understanding smile he sent her, made her heart twist again even more painfully. She could see him making an effort to appear less tired and more like his usual self and knew he was doing it for her benefit. He wasn't asking anything of her, because he knew what she would have to choose. She was disgusted with herself, because she had sworn to protect him, but her heart belonged to Lapis now. Lapis needed her just as much as Steven did. She couldn't abandon either of them, and yet, she couldn't help them both at the same time. What was the right answer here?

And then, suddenly, she knew. All of her conflict left her and the familiar quiet static that she'd felt before every mission under the Diamonds took its place. Just as her life of battle had been key to saving Lapis before, now her other training would help her to do what her heart wanted most in that moment; save the ones she loved.

She realized that she did love Steven. It wasn't the same love she felt for Lapis, but it was indeed love. She realized that love could take many shapes and forms. Everything she'd been told about Rose Quartz, all of the interactions between the Crystal Gems, Garnet's cryptic words... it all suddenly made sense. Before, when she'd realized that she loved Lapis, she had felt the void inside her begin to fill. Now, it was overflowing.

What she was about to do would hurt both of them. A tiny part of her cringed at the thought, but the rest of her was still floating in that peaceful lake of static in her head. She knew that it was the best choice on a list of bad choices; it was the only choice she could live with. A plan formulated in her head.

She smiled at Steven, and knew that it didn't reach her eyes. His brows furrowed slightly, but she stood before he could say anything. "Let's get back to Connie and Lapis." She said lightly.

"Okay." He replied, sounding very confused.

Jasper saw Pumpkin out of the corner of her eye. The orange creature made to come to them. Jasper turned her head towards her, and discreetly waved her off before Steven noticed. Pumpkin seemed to understand and turned to continue her happy romp. _Step one; Complete._ She checked it on her mental list.

As she and Steven entered the barn, she was happy to see that Connie and Lapis were still deeply absorbed in conversation. They were talking animatedly, both almost glowing as the gestured abstractly with their hands. She chuckled softly, playing her part.

"They're adorable." She said to Steven.

He grinned hugely and something in him seemed to relax as he watched the two. "They are. I'm so glad they get along now."

She stood in silence for a moment. "I could watch this for hours." She let a wistfulness enter her tone.

Steven sighed. "Me too."

"Oh!" Jasper said quietly. "I left Pumpkin outside!" She said, as if she'd just remembered. "I'd better go get her."

"I'll come with you." He offered.

She forced down a lump of panic. "No. Stay. Watch them." She forced her voice to remain soft. Then she had a sudden idea. "Actually. Do you have your phone on you?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled it out. "Yeah, why?"

She grinned at him. "Take a few pictures."

He smiled hugely, eyes sparkling. "That way we can enjoy it forever." He immediately unlocked the phone and pointed it at the two. "You're a genius." He whispered, sounding awed.

She felt a flicker of guilt in her gut. "When it counts." She said, trying to force humor into her tone. It was harder now. "I'll just go chase down Pumpkin. I won't be long."

"M'kay." Steven replied, completely distracted.

 _Step Two: Complete._ She thought, shortening her list. She stepped outside and stood for a moment, looking up into the sparsely clouded sky. The sun was bright. The breeze tickled over her skin. She wondered for a moment, if this really was the right choice. A burst of laughter from inside steeled her resolve. She walked a few steps further, until she was fairly certain the others couldn't hear her footsteps. Then, she started to run towards her destination; the warp pad.

Lapis wouldn't be left alone. Steven was exhausted and now he'd have time to rest. Connie was a formidable fighter and could protect them both. All of them would be safe. And herself? She had a lost peridot to find.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **Thank you guys SO much for reading!**

 **I am so, so, so very thankful to you all for your support! It means so very much to me. Truly. I love hearing from you all. But, I am dead on my keyboard, so I can't say more now. I've written this one paragraph three times trying to make it less abrupt, but I must admit defeat and abrupt away to sleepy-times. Good night!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 31**

 **A/N: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING!**

 **A bonus chapter weekend?! Can you believe it!? I certainly can't! Having two days off in a row seems to have done me good. And coffee. Lots and LOTS of coffee. But I'll blather more at the end.**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

At first, Jasper wasn't sure where she should start her search. She tried to remember everything about she could about Peridot as she ran to the warp pad. Data had always been the driving force behind the green gem's activities. Even before she had met the green gem, it had been true. A flash of Peridot's dark expression under a sky heavy and dark with clouds flashed in her mind. It was the expression she had worn when telling Jasper about her previous occupation of working in the archives for the Diamonds. That dark expression that had accused Jasper of breaking Lapis, of hurting her, while the warrior gem had bitten back the truth to spare the slender gem from her judgment.

Yes, data and facts had always been Peridot's driving force, even if they were obscure and fragmented. And once her mind was set, there was no changing it. So where would a gem searching for data go? And what kind of data was she searching for that she couldn't inform the Crystal Gems? What answer was she seeking that Peridot felt she had to find alone? There was no way for Jasper to know, but maybe, just maybe, there was a way to find out.

Though she knew that Peridot had an extensive knowledge of Earth's computer systems, the Homeworld systems had been her first source of data. Whatever she was looking for, a connection to Homeworld data would probably be her first priority after avoiding detection. To her knowledge, there were only two sources for that connection. The kindergartens. Since Peridot had disdainfully described the Beta systems as lacking, Prime had to be her ultimate destination.

The warrior gem gritted her teeth as she stepped onto the warp pad. Prime Kindergarten had been one of the few places she'd avoided at all costs. Only once had she deigned to set foot there, just after Lapis had rejected her on the ship. Seeing the perfectly placed injection points and the vast difference to her own birthplace's rushed and uncaring design had sent her further over the edge of self hatred and madness. As she closed her eyes to focus on her destination, her many bruises flared again, each one seeming to remind her of her flaws and sins; her mistakes.

She shook off the thought as she felt herself slipping into warp space. She could not focus on herself. She had a mission to complete. Find Peridot.

Prime materialized around her. She only had a moment to take in its dark, steep cliffs, adorned with the skeletons of injectors and perfectly placed holes, before a horrifyingly familiar pulse seared through her mind. She only had a moment to register that it was stronger than ever before. Her vision swam and she screamed, her entire body bowing as her blood-lust roared awake, clawing its way past every other thought. There was nothing but the urge to destroy; to kill. The world burned crimson as she fell to her knees. The pain in her aching body only fed into the rage and she screamed again, scrabbling to regain her footing. She had to move... to destroy.

A scrap of thought fought its way past the roaring in her head. The clarity of it stilled her; a flash of navy eyes, sparkling with kindness and laughter. Those eyes were important, but she didn't know why. And then she did. Those eyes belonged to the gem she loved. Love was stronger than the hatred burrowing painfully into her heart. Something was trying to control her. As soon as she could register what was happening, she began to fight it. It seemed to take her an eternity to think past the rage. Even then, the hum of it clouded everything.

A sound registered past the sensation. Someone else was here. They were shouting and she heard the unmistakable sounds of a battle taking place out of her field of vision. A loud crash, followed by a terrifyingly familiar scream finally gave her the strength to pull herself to her feet.

She had been right. Peridot was here. And she was in trouble.

Jasper had to get to her. She took a step and stumbled. Her body throbbed and the pulse still nagged at her thoughts. She gritted her teeth to ignore both and took another shaky step. Then another and another until she was finally running towards the sounds of battle. A low bellowing sound reached her ears and more shouting. Just as she reached an inward turn in the rocky cliffs, an injector skeleton came hurtling through the air, missing her by inches. It crashed into the rocky surface of the far cliff shattering the rock into pebbles as the injector exploded on impact. She was knocked into the sheer rock wall beside her with the force of the explosion. Shards of rock and metal were flying. Spots flared in her vision as her barely healed body flared in agony.

Something hit her face. The world fragmented. Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. Nausea rolled through her as the sense of wrongness grew alongside a sudden roaring rage in her head.

"You missed me!" A ragged, but still mocking voice cried. The voice was familiar, but she couldn't place it.

A deep bellow answered her and the sounds of flesh hitting flesh drummed in the air. Jasper shook her head, trying to clear her vision as she heard loud, thundering footsteps and a squeak of fear and surprise. Another crash. Another scream of terror. She knew that scream. Why couldn't she remember?

Jasper knew she had to move. Something was attacking that familiar voice. She had to stop it, but didn't know why.

Another pulse hummed through her addled mind. She had to fight. Fighting was the only way to the truth.

Almost without realizing it, the warrior gem pushed from the wall. The rage inside her had taken on a new form. Rather than a storm that overwhelmed her, it was now a razor sharp blade that sang a song of calculated death for those in her way. She was eerily calm as stepped around the corner to face the battle. She took in the sight of an enormous corrupted gem and saw a short, green gem as she scrambling onto an alcove to avoid a blow from the corruption's huge fists. The corruption looked formidable. It would have to be taken out first. Her lip curled in disgust as she took in the horribly twisted form of the former gem.

It was hunched, moving on all fours with broad shoulders and muscled arms longer than its hind legs. The furiously raging corruption was almost entirely covered in dark blue, almost indigo, shaggy fur. Only its eerily humanoid face and enormous humanoid hands and feet were bare. _Like an ape_ ,something in her mind exposed skin was only slightly less dark and was lined with tufts of sky blue. The small, almost pointed crown of its head was ringed by inward facing horns. Inside that jagged circle, a gemstone blazed. It was square, and standard blue, with jagged lines of indigo and lighter blues throughout. Jasper locked onto her target and stepped forward.

She was void of any emotion as she watched the two oblivious gems she bore down on. The corrupted gem was still focused on the smaller green one, who was running along the alcove to avoid debris of rock that the corruption's blow had shaken loose from the cliff wall above them. As she ran, she threw something metallic over her shoulder. It hit the corruption square in the face and ruptured, spewing its pressured, liquid contents into the ape's hazy eyes. The corruption bellowed, hopping and stomping on all fours and shaking its shaggy head. In its thrashing, it didn't notice Jasper's slow, methodical approach.

When it lifted its head, the warrior gem delivered a mighty punch that sent the corruption reeling into the wall it had just struck. Without giving the ape a moment to recover, Jasper struck again, crushing the corruption's head into the stone hard enough to crumble it to dust. Again and again she bounced the shaggy head against the crumbling stone wall with her fists, until bloody fur glistened in the jagged cracks and dripped towards the ground. More of the tainted blood stained her fists and she wiped them on her pants with a sneer. The corruption groaned, dazed, and fell. The whimpering sound it let out as its shaggy body impacted the rubble strewn ground brought a cruel smile to Jasper's lips. Perhaps the ape hadn't been a formidable opponent at all. She raised her foot and brought it down on the back of the stunned corruption's head, crushing its face into the stone beneath her. She slowly pressed harder, grinding her foot back and forth to maximize the damage. It was only a matter of time before the skull of the corrupted gem would split and she took her time bearing down harder. The corruption let out another whimper, muffled by the dust and stone and flailed weakly. She relished in the helplessness of her victim and a maniacal laugh rumbled from her chest. Victory would be hers.

"Wait! Stop!" A shrill voice cried.

Jasper didn't let up her foot, but turned to regard the approaching green gem with disgust. She was a green peridot. Vaguely, the warrior gem got the sense that she should recognize her. The thought seemed to come from far away and fizzled out as another pulse hummed in her head. The sweet fury inside her rippled and stretched, curling around her heart like an affectionate cat. How dare this gem ruin the moment of her victory?

The gem stopped short and the warrior gem wanted to laugh aloud as she saw fear blatant on the green gem's face. "Jasper! Your gem!"

Her blood-lust fizzled and seemed to recede as she regarded the gem before her in confusion. "Wh-" Her tongue felt strange. She grunted and tried again. "What?"

The peridot was regarding her with an expression of horror. "Your gem... it's... it's damaged." The words were halted and her voice trembled.

Jasper glared at her. How dare this gem insult her? She wasn't damaged! She was perfect! Still, something was wrong. She could feel it. The thought pushed rage further away. She had to know.

She brought one bloodstained hand up and drew it over the smooth surface of her gemstone. Her heart dropped like a stone as she felt a crack catch on the flesh of her fingers. She was... damaged? How? A fragmented image of an explosion entered her mind. Something striking her. And the sense of wrongness.

Panic flared inside her. She gasped. "No." The word was a whimper.

The sound of something so pathetic coming from her lips sent a wave of disgust through her. Her panic died in a rush of crimson. She screamed. The all but forgotten corruption at her feet jerked and spasmed. Why was it still alive? Why hadn't she ended it? She pressed her foot down harder, drawing another pathetic whimper from the corruption at her feet. A cruel smile danced on her lips at the sweet sound.

"Jasper, Stop!" The green gem cried. Jasper snarled at her. The peridot let out a squeak of fear, but held her ground. "I need it alive." Her tone was firm, but uncertain. She cast a fearful glance down at the warrior gem's foot on the ape's bloody head. Then green gem jerked her eyes back to Jasper's face and seemed to realize something. She gasped and took a small step backwards. "It really does effect you too." She whispered. Then her face hardened. "You have to fight it, Jasper. This isn't you!"

The warrior gem laughed, the maniacal sound of it echoing off of the walls around them. Who did this gem think she was? Jasper was a fighter. She was doing exactly as she had been made to do. Destroy. But a tiny part of her was screaming inside her. Something inside her was trying desperately to shout that she was wrong. That there was more to life than fighting and hatred. But what? She shook her head again. Her hands came up to squeeze her head, trying to relieve some of the pressure building inside her fragmented mind. There was too much. Too much there. She could make no sense of it.

The peridot took a few steps closer to her, holding out a hand. "I know that you're damaged. This must be confusing, but Jasper you have to listen to me! It's taking over your mind. It's what has been making the corruptions lose control. I found it, Jasper!" She cried, sounding triumphant. "I found the source! You were right!"

Jasper furrowed her brows as the strange fury seeped from her mind leaving her adrift. She felt dizzy and more than a little nauseous as she took in the green gem's dirty, tired appearance. The source? Her thoughts were strangely disjointed as she tried to figure out what the peridot was talking about. Why was the peridot even here? Where was here? What was going on?

She heard a whimper from beneath her and looked down. A jolt of terrified confusion filled her as she saw her foot on the head of an enormous corrupted gem. Flashes filled her mind of other gems and creatures at her feet like this one. She jerked backwards, almost slipping as her bloody shoe hit the ground. Had she done this? Why?

The fury pulsed within Jasper and her hazy vision tinted. She screamed and stumbled backwards as fire exploded inside her head. Her body felt as if it were twisting and she couldn't see. Her heart pounded painfully and for an agonizing second, she thought it would burst. A tendril of horror snaked its way past the rage as she remembered this sensation. The memory was hazy, but the sensation was not; it was how she'd felt just before her mind had succumbed to the corruption.

" _ **No**_!" She shrieked, falling to her knees. Her hands were twitching in front of her, curling into a macabre representation of the claws she had sprouted as her body had morphed beyond her control. Her mind laid a picture over somehow still human hands and she could see her corrupted flesh superimposed atop them like a thin layer. Horrified tears sprang into her eyes, warping the double image until they became one. " ** _Not again_**!" She screamed, punching the stony ground beneath her. She felt her skin split on contact with the hard stone as it cracked away from her blow. She welcomed the flare of pain as it brought her thoughts into sharp clarity. For a small, precious moment, she could think freely. She looked up at the peridot through her tears and knew her again. She saw the green gem's horrified expression. She suddenly knew what was happening. She could feel the wave of rage building again and knew she'd be powerless to stop it. " ** _Run_**!" The desperate shout came out like a plea, just before the pulse roared in her mind. She forced herself to look away from Peridot's fearful face as the world swam once more.

Her eyes made their way to the defeated corruption. The ape still lay in the dust. An ever growing pool of blood seeped from her head. The sight of that widening lake of crimson was Jasper's undoing. She could hear the sounds of mad laughter echoing over the stone that surrounded her. A distant part of her recognized that horrible laughter as her own. A gasp tore her eyes away from the blood on the ground and she saw a gem standing there. Horrified green eyes swam in a sea of red.

She snarled as she realized she was on her knees. Why was she on her knees when something still remained to destroy? She jerked to her feet and roared. Standing on two legs felt … strange. Why did her body feel so alien? A painful pulse blasted the confused thought from her mind. Alien limbs or not she _would destroy_! She jerked her head, feeling her helmet flicker, then materialize in a flash of light. With another screaming roar of challenge, she charged at her opponent.

" _Jasper_! _No_!" The gem cried, holding her hands in front of her.

The words seemed to come from far away. They meant nothing to the warrior gem. Nothing would stop her. Nothing would rob her of ultimate victory.

At the last moment, the gem she faced seemed to make a decision. "I really don't want to do this, Jasper." She lifted her hand into the air.

The warrior gem was utterly surprised when something metallic suddenly flew at her. She was unable to stop her momentum and changed direction a little too late. The metallic cylinder crushed into the side of her helmet. She was effectively blinded as its contents spewed over her visor and her hair stuck to the liquid of it. She tripped over an unseen obstacle and twisted her body in midair. Her breath left in a grunt as she skidded to a stop on her back. Snarling in frustration, she swatted at the dark liquid on her visor and brushed her wet hair free. Just as she sat up she felt something encircle her wrist. She blinked and saw a thin band of metal there. With a powerful jerk, the band slammed into the ground, pulling her wrist with it. She ended up on her back again and bit back a sound of pain as her flesh dug into the stone. She growled and made to reach for the restraint with her other hand. Before she could do so, another band of metal slapped painfully into her other wrist and she felt herself being forced down as the other wrist slammed into the stone on the other side of her. She screamed in frustration and rage and fought at the restraints. She felt them being pushed further into the ground, stone and metal biting into her skin. She felt pain flare from previous wounds that she'd somehow sustained. She suddenly knew that something was wrong. Her body was already wounded. In her weakened state, she could not break free. Panic joined the rage in her head.

She was _trapped_! Her mind rebelled against the terrifying thought. She pulled harder, knowing that every second she was trapped, she was in mortal danger. She was unable to defend her gem. She would be _shattered_! The screaming thought sent an impossible surge through her and the pulsing crimson roar in her head became deafening in its intensity. Her muscled bunched and she dug her feet into the ground. Painfully, she forced herself backwards and up until she was sitting with her arms twisted to their absolute limits accommodate her wrists still half buried in the stone.

Footsteps approached her. She snapped her head up and roared at the gem she saw approaching her. The gem stopped, hands out to display no threat. The gesture seemed mock the helpless warrior gem and she bared her teeth in a snarl.

"Just calm down, Jasper. I'm not going to hurt you." She said slowly.

The warrior gem didn't believe her for a moment. It was destroy or be destroyed. That was how it had always been. From the moment she had been pulled from the crust of a dying planet, she had had to fight for every moment of her survival.

But something about the look in the gem's eyes gave her pause. There was fear there and worry, but something else. Something... almost kind. She knew this gem. But how?

The rage in her died slowly down as she focused on the kindness in the gem's eyes. And suddenly, she recognized her. Her helmet dissipated as she tried to speak. "P-Peri-dot?" Her tongue felt strange as she formed her name.

Peridot's eyes lit up. "Yes. It's me. Listen." Her face hardened slightly. "I know what's affecting you, but I don't know how to stop it. You _have_ to fight it, Jasper! It's what you were made for!"

"M-ade for?" Speaking aloud still felt strange. But the words resounded in her. Yes. Yes. That was right. She had been made to fight. Fighting was what she did. But what was she fighting? "Fi- fight?" She asked, hoping that Peridot would explain.

"Yes. Fight! Don't let it control you!"

Control her? What was controlling her? A hum buzzed in the back of her mind, making it hard to think. She shook her head, trying to dispel the strange sensation building inside her. She felt a flicker of fear and looked into the eyes of the gem before her, hoping to understand.

Peridot's eyes filled with tears at whatever she saw on the warrior gem's face. "Jasper." Her name was a sob that part of Jasper hated to hear. "Jasper, please try to remember! You're a good person! I know I didn't believe you before, but I know now that you really have changed! I know that I hurt you and made you angry. I know that I was wrong about so many things, but... you saved me. Even after everything I'd said about you, you still saved me." Her voice broke. "And you saved Lapis."

"Lapis?" She gasped

Her mind latched onto the word: a name. It was important. More important than anything else. How she knew, she didn't know. She shook her head again, trying to quell the storm she felt building inside her. Whatever it was, she knew that it was bad. She _had_ to remember Lapis before it was too late.

"Yes! Lapis!" Peridot cried. "You saved her after I hurt her. I said... bad things to her. Horrible things. I... I..." Her words seemed to fail her as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I accused her of rejoining the Diamonds and conspiring with you to kill us all!" She shrieked. "Yet you still saved me!"

Jasper felt her mind jerk away from the thought. How could Peridot ever accuse Lapis of such a thing!? Lapis was... Lapis was... And suddenly, she could remember everything. Malachite. The Cluster. Her defeat. Her corruption. Defection. Steven. The Crystal Gems. And Lapis.

Lapis who she loved. Lapis who had changed her. Saved her. Who she had sworn to protect until her dying breath. She felt a wash of goodness, of love, fill her and she took a deep breath of the wonderful feeling as her eyes drifted shut.

Then she realized that Peridot was still sobbing. She opened her mouth, to say what, she didn't know, because the moment her lips parted, the roar pulsed back into her mind. She realized what was happening and tried to fight it, but the crimson wave was too strong and she felt her mind go blank of everything but madness.

Fragmented thoughts plagued her. The peridot had hurt her. Jasper had to destroy the threat. The green gem was lost in tears and the warrior gem knew that the distraction was exactly what she needed. With a scream, she jerked her painful arms and the metallic restraints around her wrists snapped. She was free! She didn't have a moment to lose. She rolled to her feet as her helmet flickered into existence and charged.

The green gem realized too late. She tried to dodge away, but Jasper was too fast. The warrior gem felt her helmet connect with flesh and watched in maniac glee as the defenseless gem was sent flying through the air. Her limp body hit the stone walls of their battlefield with an abrupt cry of pain. She slid to the ground, dazed, amid dust and rocky debris.

Something in Jasper rebelled as she took in the small green gem's limp figure. Tears still glistened on her pale cheeks. A line of blood tricked from beneath her hairline. Her eyes fluttered open with groan. They were hazy for a moment, before they sharpened with fear. She gasped and scrambled upright. As she tried to rise, she grunted in pain and stumbled. Wincing sharply, she sagged against the rock wall behind her, sinking back to the ground. She regarded Jasper with a look of utter terror. A part of the warrior gem hated to see that look directed at her.

"I don't blame you for this, Jasper." The peridot whispered, her voice ragged. Another tear trickled down her face as her eyes drifted shut.

Her helmet dissipated as Jasper trembled. Her mind tore in two different directions. The rage in her was screaming at her to finish it. Her heart was begging her not to. Before she could decide which to follow, a bellow sounded from behind her.

" _Look out_!" The peridot screamed.

Even with the warning, Jasper had no time to react. The last thing she saw was the peridot trying to rise before something crashed into her from behind. She cried out and felt her body impact with the hard, unforgiving cliff wall. It had happened so suddenly, she was unable to brace herself. A horrifying crack seemed to resonate inside her skull. _Wrong_... a fragmented thought whispered. The world was wrong.

She coughed as her body hit the ground. She tasted blood. She heard a thundering sound over the pounding in her head. Her eyes fluttered open and caught a hazy glimpse of a huge, dark fist just before it smashed into her.

She rolled helplessly over and over on the rocky ground. Something pierced her side, jerking her to a halt. Another layer added to the absolute agony of her battered form. She opened her mouth, but she had no air left to scream.

" _Jasper_!" A voice seemed to come from far away.

Jasper knew she had to move. She couldn't give in. Jaspers didn't give up.

But she was so tired. She was hurting everywhere. Her world had been reduced to agony and confusion.

She couldn't breath. All she could taste was blood. It was drowning her. Choking her. Not even the thread of panic she felt, could clear the haze in her mind.

The voice screamed again and, distantly, Jasper thought she had heard her name. She blinked and found her vision still worked. Through foggy eyes, she saw something bearing down on her. Her heart began to pound again. She could not simply lie there and accept her death. She struggled, but to no avail. She wouldn't be able to move in time. There was nothing she could do, but wait for the inevitable to happen. Her peripheral vision caught a glimpse of movement. She looked at the peridot rising up. She was leaning heavily on the cliff wall, but her right hand was stretched out towards them.

Something metallic glinted in the air. A sharp metal rod was suddenly sticking from the charging creature's side. It bellowed in pain, the force knocking it off course just enough for it to barrel past Jasper's helpless form. Another bellow sounded from behind her and she felt and heard the thundering of the creature's movements approach her again. Somehow, the battered warrior gem found the strength to roll away. Her head was spared by mere inches as it passed her, charging straight at the defenseless peridot.

Jasper felt a bolt of denial course through her as she realized what would happen. The peridot had saved her life, by sacrificing her own. That was wrong. She didn't know why, but the green gem absolutely could not die. " _ **No**_!" She roared.

She fought her way to her feet, crying out as her body rebelled against the motion. She tried to push it from her hazy mind, and jerked her madly swirling head. Her helmet formed, then flickered, and finally solidified on her head.

Her vision swam with spots. Her body was on fire. She had nothing left. Everything would hinge on this one, last, desperate effort.

Blindly, she charged. She felt her helmet connect with something, before dissipating. Her face smashed into foul smelling fur. Something snapped. The world seemed to disappear for a moment.

Her eyes closed. She felt her body hit the ground, but felt no pain. Maybe she hadn't managed to win her last fight, but she had at least managed to give the small green peridot another chance. That was good, wasn't it?

She felt her form begin to slip. A tiny part of her tried vainly to fight it. And then she heard a voice from somewhere far away.

"Crystal Gems! Move!"

The voice was oddly familiar, but she couldn't place it. She couldn't explain the sudden sense of safety she felt upon hearing that distant voice. Her mind relaxed and she let go. Her last clear thought was that she knew with absolute certainty, that everything was going to be okay.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANK YOU FOR READING!**

 ** _Phew_! This chapter was hard to get right. I hope I've done it justice.**

 **Thank you guys so much for your messages and support! I love you all so very much. This journey is for all of us and I'm very glad that you're all here. I've been saying it for thirty chapters and I'll keep saying it until the end. It really does mean so very much to me.**

 **The main reason I posted a bonus chapter this weekend is because my workload may be increasing very rapidly over the next few weeks. It may not affect my writing, but I wanted to warn you all in case it does. I shan't stop writing however. This journey with you all is the only thing keeping me sane. Well, sane-ish... MOVING ON!**

 **I also wanted to say that while I love hearing from all of you, the ending of this story is already written. Your reviews, while amazing, awesome, informative, and smile inducing, have no effect on the contents. I am very sorry if this upsets anyone. Everything within this story is already laid out. Finding the time to get it out of my head and type it up is the only reason this story isn't fully out yet.**

 **BUT, just because I control the contents, does NOT mean I control your minds. Speculate away! Go wild! I know I do when I read or watch anything, fanfiction or not. Keeps me brain on its toes. But alas, I must go. Work calls and I must adult before bed. I love you, guys!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 32**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!**

 **I'll blather at the end.**

 **Read on, Loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Jasper jerked into awareness. She felt a moment of panic as she realized she was inside her gem. The panic faded somewhat as she realized she was not trapped. She could reform.

She was vulnerable like this. She did not like it. She needed to reform. But... even if she knew she was vulnerable, she was overwhelmed with the sense of warmth and safety. She was also confused; how had she ended up inside her gem in the first place?

She tried to remember and the warmth and safety gave way to a wave of crushing fear and despair. Fragmented memories flooded her mind. She had been damaged and lost her form while fighting a corruption in Prime. The rage had taken over her. She had hurt Peridot. She remembered hearing Garnet's strong shout just before she lost her form. And perhaps the most crushing of all, she had forgotten the goodness of life of those moments. She had forgotten love. She had forgotten Lapis.

How could she ever forget Lapis!? Even when she had been fully in the throws of her own corruption, Lapis had remained. Even before she knew she loved the hydrokinetic gem, Lapis had been in her heart. A chill went through her when she realized that if the Crystal Gem's hadn't shown up when they had, she might never get to see Lapis again. Lapis would be alone. Lapis could be alone right now.

She pulled her thoughts together and focused on her form. She needed to be with Lapis. Now. Her heart was pounding almost before it took shape. She felt her flesh take shape around her and blinked her eyes furiously into focus. She was disoriented for a moment, expecting to see the dark cliff walls of Prime, but instead, she was in her home. And then she saw the best thing imaginable before her.

Lapis was there, staring up at her with tears of relieved joy in her eyes. The warrior gem was too overcome for words and felt tears spring into her own eyes. She took a step forward and pulled the slender gem off her feet in a hug. Lapis immediately sobbed and threw her arms around Jasper's neck. She squeezed tightly and Jasper closed her eyes as she buried her face in Lapis' short hair. She breathed deeply, letting her scent drive away the last of the anxiety in her heart. She was home. Lapis was safe. Nothing else mattered. For a long moment, there was nothing but the sound of Lapis' soft sobs. Jasper held her, thanking every star that she knew that she got to hold the gem she loved one more time.

Then Lapis gasped and pulled away abruptly. "Put me down." Lapis' voice shook with tears and something else. Jasper set her back on her feet, confused. Lapis glared up at her and Jasper winced and took a step back from the fury in her teary eyes. " _What_ were you thinking, Jasper?" She cried. "Why did you run off without saying anything? How could you just disappear like that?"

Jasper sighed. She'd known before she'd left that Lapis would be angry at her. Jasper couldn't blame her at all. She would be absolutely furious if their roles had been reversed; but that knowledge didn't mean that this was going to be any less unpleasant.

"I'm sorry, Lapis. I just-"

"Just _what_?" Lapis cut her off. "Just thought it was okay to leave and almost get yourself _killed_ without even so much as an explanation?"

"I was afraid you'd try to stop me." Jasper admitted with a heavy sigh.

"You should have been stopped! You were hurt already! And it was _my_ _fault_ that you were!" The desperately agonized shout sent ice shooting through the warrior gem's veins.

Jasper reached for her. "Lapis, it's not y-"

" _Stop_!" Lapis shouted. She turned away, hugging herself. "Just stop, Jasper." Her shoulders hunched and she started sobbing in earnest.

Jasper ached to reach for her. She took a shaky step forward, tears filling her eyes."Please just let me explain."

The warrior gem felt her heart twisting in her chest. She hadn't thought about how worried Lapis would be. She hadn't realized that of course Lapis would be sad if she were hurt. Of course, Lapis would feel guilty. She felt foolish and selfish. How could she have _ever_ thought that this was a good idea?

"I'm an idiot." She cursed herself aloud. Lapis said nothing and Jasper felt that this might be the only chance she got. "I was just... I just wanted to do what I could to help Steven." She started, running her hand through her hair as she tried to find the words to explain her foolish choice. She fought frustrated tears as they tried to escape. "Lapis... he was so exhausted. He was so worried about all of us. You, me, Amethyst, Peridot. He was only here to ask us to watch Pumpkin. But seeing him like that... I _had_ to help him. He needed to rest. And you needed to spend time with him. I know how much you missed him. I... thought that if I went after Peridot myself, that it would give you both what you needed. I was stupid." She spat, unable to keep her self loathing out of her voice. "I should have said something. I should have given you both a say in the matter. I know that now, but I wasn't thinking like that when I left. I honestly thought I was helping you both. And all I did was worry you." Her tears finally broke free. "I'm sorry, Lapis. I'll never do that again."

The slender gem spun around to face her. Her tender expression sent another wave of sadness through the warrior gem. "You swear it?" She asked, voice trembling.

"I swear." Was her immediate reply. "I'll never leave again without saying something. I'll never do anything like that again without talking to you about it first. I promise."

Lapis paused and then smiled up at her through her tears. Jasper felt a wave of relief fill her. She opened her arms and Lapis leapt into them. Jasper hugged her tightly, a few more tears trailing from her eyes. "I'm sorry." She whispered again.

"Just don't do it again." Lapis whispered back.

"Never." Jasper squeezed her tighter.

"Then I'll forgive you this once."

"Thank you." Jasper breathed the words into Lapis' hair.

Even though she had just reformed, she suddenly felt so very tired. All she wanted to do was curl up with Lapis again on their couch. She wanted to hold the slender gem and just let the world spin without them for a little while. She wanted that so much, her heart ached.

Someone cleared their throat behind them, dispelling the thought. The warrior gem lifted her head from Lapis' hair and turned slightly to see Garnet standing just inside the door. She felt a blush heat her face and set the equally blushing Lapis on her feet as she turned to greet the fusion.

"Hi, Garnet."

The fusion was smiling hugely. "Hello. I'm glad to see you've recovered, Jasper." Her smile shifted to a smirk, as if she were laughing at an internal joke. "Even though we were a few seconds early."

The warrior gem felt her blush flare brighter. She coughed and cleared her throat. "What's up?" She asked, mimicking Steven. "How's Peridot?" She felt another twinge of guilt as she thought of how Peridot had last looked.

"She's fine. Peridots are a hardy gem, so she says."

"I'm glad." The warrior gem told her honestly.

"Me too. But, to business. I saw that you'd both want an update soon. Thought I'd get it out of the way. Things are about to get very busy." Her tone held a trickle of foreboding.

Jasper's lingering blush faded as she paled. She glanced at Lapis, who was looking at the floor. The warrior gem knew that Lapis hated hearing about the war. She put a hand on the slender gem's shoulder. "Want us to take it outside?" She asked softly.

Lapis blinked up at her in surprise, before smiling tiredly. "No." She sighed. "I know now that you're going to be helping them. I need to know what's going on."

Jasper shot a quick glance at Garnet. "I don't have to help them, Lapis." She said earnestly.

Garnet stepped forward. "She's right. The choice is hers."

Lapis smiled at Garnet and then looked back up at Jasper. "And that's why I need to know." There was something shimmering in her dark eyes that made Jasper's heart skip a beat in her chest. She smiled back at the slender gem. Was Lapis really giving her permission to help the others fight for Earth? Did the warrior gem even really want to? Lapis shook her head and Jasper almost felt like the slender gem had read her mind. "I know that you feel guilty for not helping them, Jasper. That's not a bad thing. Even if I can't do it myself, I don't want you to change who you are." Her voice rang with the conviction of her words. "So long as you _talk_ to me about it first."

Jasper felt a tension inside her ease. She acutely remembered how she felt upon seeing Steven so tired. The boy had looked like he had the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. If she could help ease that burden, even just a little, then she would be grateful for the opportunity. At the same time though, a part of her was tired of fighting. She wanted this war to be over. She wanted to spend more days learning and relaxing and laughing with the gem before her. She wanted to be free to love Lapis with no restraints. But the greater part of her knew that fighting and ending this war would be the only way she'd ever truly get what she truly wanted.

The fact that Lapis understood a small part of the conflict in her her heart, filled her with joy. The urge to tell the slender gem her innermost secret surged to the tip of her tongue. A hint of anxiety danced in her gut and she swallowed the words back. "Thank you, Lapis." Was what she said instead, letting her hand fall from Lapis' shoulder.

Lapis beamed up at her. "So let's find out what's going on." She turned back to Garnet. "Would you like to come sit down?" She offered, gesturing at the loft.

Garnet smiled and shook her head. "No, thank you. We have to get back before Pearl does something unfortunate to a certain cheeky amethyst." She chuckled softly. "But I have time to give you that update."

"Shoot." Jasper told her, winking at Lapis.

"As you already know, Jasper. Peridot found the source of the increased corruption activity." Jasper nodded, a hazy memory drifting quickly through her mind. "It's a frequency. It's far too high for us to register it, but the afflicted gems, and yourself, are effected by it somehow. It seems that it increases their anger and self preservation. The urge to rid themselves of any threat, no matter how misconceived that threat is. While Peridot's methods were..." A dark look shadowed the fusion's face for a moment. "... questionable, the results were undeniable. Right now, she and Pearl are working on a way to track the origin of the transmitted frequencies. And we-" She tapped her temple with a smile. "-can see much more now that we know one of the factors of this strange rise in activity. While we can't prevent it, we can hopefully limit the damage these gems do their environments. All we have to do is keep an _eye_ out for any changes." She chuckled at her reference to her sapphire. The grin she gave to them was very much like a ruby.

Jasper grinned back. How had she ever thought of Garnet as an abomination? Her ruby and sapphire were very unique gems. Even though she had only met them briefly under the worst circumstances, she still remembered their affection towards one another. The grin faded somewhat as she thought of her own fusion; Malachite had been nothing like Garnet.

She shook off the dark thought as Garnet continued. "Peridot is also working on creating her own network of transmitters. As soon as she finishes developing the prototypes, we plan on planting them near every warp destination and in as many other places as she can easily receive data from. If the frequency is transmitted near any of them, it will alert her immediately and allow us to respond in a much more efficient manner."

Jasper was a little awed. The Crystal Gems had made some huge leaps in progress while she was recovering. "How long was I out for again?" She asked in disbelief.

"Three days." Lapis replied. Jasper fought back a wince at her sharp tone.

Garnet laughed. "I'll leave you two to it then. We should get back just in time to avoid the catastrophe brewing." She sighed and shook her head. "Amethyst will never learn."

Jasper laughed then too. "I don't even need a sapphire to tell me that one is true."

Garnet waved, still chuckling and ducked out the door. As soon as she was gone, Jasper turned back to Lapis. She took in Lapis' tired appearance with a more critical eye than before. She truly hated how much more tired she seemed, especially knowing that it was her fault. Lapis needed to rest. The warrior gem still wanted nothing more than to hold Lapis close, but she had no idea what the slender gem was truly feeling in this moment.

There was no way to find out, but to ask. "Are you still angry at me?" She asked with a sheepish grin.

The slender gem looked up at her and quirked an eyebrow. "Yes." Then she sighed. Jasper was greatly surprised when Lapis turned to her, throwing her arms around the warrior gem's waist."But I'm too glad you're okay to care."

Jasper returned the embrace, stooping so that she could wrap her arms around Lapis' slender shoulders. "I'm glad too." And she was.

Lapis pulled away and Jasper stood back up. "I have a surprise for you." The slender gem suddenly.

Jasper was confused. "I don't need a surprise." She said honestly. "I just want to sleep and forget how dumb I am for a few hours." She joked.

Lapis smiled hugely. "Then you are going to like this surprise." She coalesced her wings and flitted up to the loft. "Come see."

Jasper grinned and leaped up to join her. Her jaw dropped when she took in the loft. The couch had been moved and Lapis' hammock was nowhere to be seen. In their place was a huge bed. It had posts on all four corners and a fine netting hung from an upper frame, draping the bed. The netting matched the blue of the covers and the pillows were splashes of blue and green. She knew without even stepping closer that she could stretch fully out on its soft looking surface. The couch now sat at the foot of it and the television and tape player had been placed so that I could be seen from both.

"You got a bed?" Was all she could say.

"It was Connie and Steven's idea. Greg said it was a gift when he brought it." Jasper felt like her eyes would bug from her head. Lapis giggled, no doubt at the look on her face. "I told you, you'd like it."

Jasper was still astonished. She furrowed her brows as she had another thought. "Where's your hammock? I thought you wanted to see the TV from your bed."

"I _can_ see the TV from my bed. Well." A blush flared to life on her cheeks and she looked away. "Our bed, that is." A warmth flooded through the warrior gem and she blushed too. She couldn't stop a huge smile of happiness. This really was the best surprise ever. Now she could hold Lapis all she wanted to. Lapis was fidgeting, and her voice trembled as she continued. "There are smaller beds though. We could get two and put them up here if you don't want to share. I don't think either of them would mind. Maybe-" Jasper couldn't stop the chuckles as Lapis' flustered speech went on and the slender gem stopped to glare at her. "Why are you laughing?" She snapped.

The warrior gem shook her head. "You're adorable." She said simply. Lapis blushed brighter and glared at her. Jasper held up her hands in surrender, still chuckling. "Of course, I don't mind sharing a bed with you, Lapis!" She cried happily.

Lapis blinked up at her, eyes wide. "Really?"

Jasper laughed outright. "This is going to be _so_ much more comfortable than the couch. And." She shot Lapis a smirk. "Now you have _real_ mattress that won't be so..." She gestured at her own torso and flexed. "... amazingly muscled." She winked.

Lapis giggled and struck out, smacking the warrior gem's abdomen with the back of her hand. "Too bad your new blanket won't quite as soft." She patted her hair and blinked up at Jasper through her lashes.

The warrior gem felt another rush of warmth and blushed. Lapis looked... very beautiful in a way that almost terrified the warrior gem. She wasn't exactly sure why. "Well, darn." She brushed off the strange feeling with a joke.

Lapis giggled again and then sighed tiredly. "Want to try it out?"

Jasper smiled softly down at her. She couldn't think of a single thing she wanted more. "Sure."

"Which side do you want?" Lapis asked as she walked over to the switch to dim the lights.

"You pick." Jasper offered. "I've never slept in a bed before."

"Well, neither have I." Lapis shot back. "And it's your surprise. So pick." She ordered softly.

Jasper sighed. "Stubborn."

She walked over to the bed and sat the side closest to the edge of the loft. She would be able to respond more quickly to any threat from the doors and Lapis would be able to take cover quickly on the other side. It seemed the most logical choice. Even if things were more peaceful here, recent events had given her more than enough reason to be a little paranoid. She didn't particularly care for that train of thought and flopped heavily onto her back. The bed was soft, but firm. She had been right. It was so much more comfortable than the couch.

She sighed as she stretched out, resting her head on on of the pillows and relaxing fully. "This is great." She blinked open her eyes an saw Lapis still standing near the light switch, watching her. "What?"

Lapis grinned mischievously. "Just enjoying the fact that I finally domesticated you." She joked, walking to her side. "I _told_ you you needed a bed." She teased, standing beside it.

Jasper laughed. "Touché, your radiance."

She suddenly felt a little mischievous herself and rolled over to hold out a hand to Lapis. The slender gem took it and Jasper tugged her onto the bed with a soft jerk. Lapis landed face first in the covers with a squeak of surprise. "Jasper!" She cried, lifting herself up onto her arms.

The warrior gem laughed at the indignant look on her face. "Well, you were just standing there. I thought you might need a reminder on how beds worked!" She smirked.

Lapis huffed and reached out to smack the warrior gem's shoulder. "I know how beds work, you dork."

Jasper let herself fall onto her back dramatically. "I've been defeated! Death by nerd!" She cried.

Lapis' laughter filled the air as the slender gem rearranged herself on the bed. She scooted up until her head was on one of the pillows and let out a contented sigh. They lay there in silence for a moment, before Jasper got tired of the distance between them. After everything that had happened in this last crazy few days, she felt strangely vulnerable. Part of her was embarrassed, but the rest of her knew that feeling that tiny bit of insecurity was okay. And she also knew that she could share that vulnerability with the gem beside her.

"Lapis?" She called softly.

"Hmm?" Lapis hummed her reply.

"Can I hold you for a little while?" The warrior gem whispered.

Lapis didn't reply verbally. Instead, Jasper felt the bed dip as Lapis rolled closer to her. Jasper lifted her arm and Lapis slipped underneath it, resting her head on the warrior gem's chest. Jasper let her arm fall across Lapis' shoulders as Lapis draped and arm over her stomach. She squeezed the slender gem to her and let out a happy sigh. _Now_ the bed was perfect.

"Thanks." She whispered.

"You're welcome." Lapis whispered back.

A lazy silence stretched between them as she began to doze off. Jasper didn't mind at all. She knew there were things she wanted to say to Lapis. She wanted to apologize again and talk to her about what she remembered from Prime. The back of her mind was buzzing with thoughts of the war and the Crystal Gems. But again, she realized that these peaceful moments with Lapis were what really mattered to her now. As she felt the slender gem fall fully asleep, she tilted her head down to take in her relaxed expression. Her heart felt full as she watched Lapis' gentle expression. Yes. These were the moments that mattered now. Tiny bubbles of happiness in a sea of war and sadness. She got the feeling that these tiny bubbles would become fewer as the days stretched on. She would cherish them for as long as she could. She let her eyes fall shut and let the sound of Lapis' soft snores carry her off to sleep.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!**

 **I love you guys! Thank you so much for your support! I want to apologize that not much more plot happened in this chapter. We needed a little buffer of recovery. Or at least, I certainly did.**

 **I know I said my workload might affect updates, but now they might be affected for a different reason. I have managed to hurt myself pretty badly at work and am slowly recovering myself. I refused pain medication, because I simply can't take stuff like that and the other medicines are making me very ill on top of being injured. I'm off for awhile for recovery, but with everything going on, I'm afraid writing may have to take a bit of a back seat.**

 **Hopefully, it won't affect my weekly posts, but I apologize if it does. Chapters will probably go back to being a little shorter for awhile as well to try to compensate. I hope that doesn't affect your reading pleasure too much and I apologize for any inconvenience.**

 **Anyway, I love you guys so much. I promise this won't bring progress to a complete halt. We are WAY too far along in the journey to stop now. Just bear with me. We shall make it to the end, loves. I swear it on coffee. And coffee is my frand. But that's all for now.**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 33**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: Thank you all so much for your support!**

 **I love you guys! Long chappy cause I'm happy! Update at the end.**

 **Read on, Loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Jasper sighed happily as she and Lapis stood at the window, watching the sun rise on a new day. She draped an arm over Lapis' shoulders and pulled the slender gem closer. She smiled when Lapis' arm wrapped around her waist as she leaned into the warrior gem. A few days had passed since Jasper had reformed and today was already shaping up to be a good one. She and Lapis had spent the greater part of it in their new bed, sleeping and resting between watching videos and having gentle conversations about anything that came to mind. Lapis looked worlds better and Jasper herself felt energized in a way she hadn't felt since before their reunion with the Crystal Gems.

"Looks like another clear day." She said softly.

"It does." Lapis said, sounding pleased. "We should do something."

The warrior gem chuckled softly. "What do you have in mind, your radiance?"

"Why do I always have to pick?" The slender gem whined, leaning back to look up at her.

"'Cause you're your radiance, your radiance." Jasper joked, grinning down at her. "I'm just a lowly pebble."

Lapis rolled her eyes and snorted. "When it suits you."

Jasper chuckled and squeezed her tighter for a moment. "Admit it. You like bossing me around."

Lapis hummed and leaned back into the warrior gem's side. "Yes, but that's beside the point."

"There's a point?" Jasper asked, feigning ignorance.

Lapis let out a frustrated sigh and Jasper had to bite back a grin as the slender gem glared up at her. "You're impossible."

"And you're cute when you're angry." Jasper sent her a wink and grinned. Lapis blushed brightly and pushed away from her with a wordless shout of frustration and annoyance, but the warrior gem could see the amusement in her eyes. She caught Lapis' hand as the slender gem made to stomp away. "Fine! You win! I'll pick something." She cried, unable to keep the laughter from her tone.

The slender gem let herself be turned back around, but one of her fingers swirled in the air. The warrior gem only had a moment to register sound of rushing water before her face was suddenly splashed. She sputtered and stumbled backwards, dashing the water from her eyes. When she could see again, she was greeted by a very smugly smirking Lapis standing there with wings extended.

"Too late." She reached out and matter of factly poked the surprised warrior gem in the stomach. "Tag! You're it!" She cried, before flitting down to open the door. She stood in the doorway, an eyebrow quirked and chin held high as her wings dissipated. Her expression dared the warrior gem to come after her.

Jasper gaped after her, absolutely stunned. When her brain finally caught up with what had just happened, she roared a laugh and grinned ferally down at the slender gem. "Challenge accepted, your radiance." She growled, crouching. She launched herself towards Lapis with a strong leap, landing just short of her.

The slender gem let out a surprised giggle and barely managed to dart through the door before Jasper could catch her. She was already running around the side of the barn before the warrior gem could recover from her missed grab and duck out the door. "Catch me if you can!" She cried.

Jasper smirked. Instead of following her around the barn, she turned and started slowly jogging the long way around. She was half way to the back of it when she saw Lapis skidding around the corner. Lapis squeaked in surprise and tried to turn back, but Jasper pounced before she could. She dragged them both to the ground, rolling in midair so that the slender gem landed on top of her. She laughed loudly at the infuriated look on Lapis' face.

She smirked smugly. "Caught you."

"You cheated!" Lapis cried, rolling off of her so that she could stand up.

Jasper scoffed and curled her legs towards her chest so that she could leap to her feet. "It's called _tatics_." She snapped playfully. "And that makes you it!"

Lapis hummed and crossed her arms. Her foot tapped on the grass. "Oh, really?" She asked in a skeptical tone.

Jasper crossed her arms behind her back and bowed towards her gracefully. "Really." She sneered playfully.

Lapis leaned towards her, mimicking her sneer. "Wanna know what else is tactics?" She whispered.

"What?" Jasper whispered back, leaning closer so that their foreheads almost touched. She was very much enjoying her win and let it show.

Lapis reached up and tapped her on the forehead. "That!" She laughed, already turning to dart away.

Once again, Jasper found herself gaping after her. "Oi!" She cried, prompting another giggle from the fleeing Lapis.

"You're too smug for your own good!" Lapis cried over her shoulder.

Jasper growled playfully and started after her. She gained on Lapis quickly and reached out to grab her. The slender gem looked over her shoulder just in time and shrieked a laugh as she dodged in another direction. The warrior gem wasn't expecting the show of agility and almost fell as she turned too quickly after her.

"Missed me!" Lapis taunted as she headed back in the direction of the barn.

"We'll see about that!" Jasper called back, picking up her pace.

She bounded a few more steps before launching herself into giant leap. She flipped acrobatically in the air and twisted her body to land directly in front of her prey. She opened her arms and braced herself. Lapis had no time to stop and crashed right into the warrior gem with a squeak. Jasper quickly caught her up in to a hug, lifting the shocked Lapis off of her feet.

"Seems I didn't miss, after all." The warrior gem stated with a smirk.

Lapis groaned and dropped her head onto Jasper's shoulder. "I seem to be at a distinct disadvantage here." She grumbled dryly. "Do you _have_ to be good at everything?" She sighed.

Jasper laughed softly. "Must be beginner's luck." She set Lapis on her feet and jumped backwards a few feet. "And now, I believe you're it, your radiance." The glare Lapis shot at her sent a thrill up the warrior gem's spine. Something told her Lapis was about to up the stakes and she tingled with happy anticipation.

She waggled her eyebrows, taunting the slender gem and wasn't disappointed at all when Lapis quirked an eyebrow and coalesced her wings. "I'd run if I were you." Her tone dripped with honeyed venom.

Jasper grinned in excitement and turned to dart away. She only made it a few yards before the sound of rushing water filled the air. She chanced a glance over to see Lapis flying parallel to her. The slender gem faked a yawn. The warrior gem flashed her a taunting smirk and pushed herself even faster. Without warning, Lapis swayed sharply toward her. Jasper threw herself into a roll to dodge, only to realize too late that Lapis had anticipated her reaction and was ready. Out of the corner of her eye, Jasper saw her wings fold against her back, dropping her from the air. The warrior gem could have tried to scramble away, but decided to accept her defeat with dignity. She rolled onto her back as Lapis unfurled her wings to catch herself at the last second. She landed lightly astride Jasper's stomach with a flare.

Her slender eyebrow arched and an impish smile danced on her lips. "Feeling lucky now, Jasper?" The slender gem asked in a playfully mocking tone.

The warrior gem was actually too proud of Lapis for tricking her to be upset at the slender gem's easy victory. "Now _that_ was tactics!" She praised.

"Sure was something alright." A familiar voice laughed.

Jasper looked over and saw Amethyst striding towards them. Steven was beside her, beaming happily at the two of them. Lapis blushed brightly and scrambled to her feet, wings folding back into her gem. The slender gem looked mortified. "And that was tact _less_." Jasper grumbled, wishing that Amethyst and Steven had arrived a few minutes later.

Not that she wasn't happy to see them, of course, but this was the first time she and Lapis had gotten to really play in a long time. She didn't like seeing the slender gem look so out of place in her own home. She swallowed the mild resentment as she got up. It wasn't like they'd meant to embarrass Lapis. She reached out and put an arm around Lapis' shoulder as she turned to face their visitors. The slender gem started slightly, but Jasper sent her a reassuring smile and Lapis calmed. She was still blushing, but she responded with a brilliant smile that made the warrior gem's heart skip a beat in her chest.

"I'm so glad you guys are feeling better!" Steven cried as he reached them.

"Me too!" Jasper responded happily. "So what brings you two out here?" She asked.

Part of her was hoping that there wasn't a mission. She glanced down at Lapis as she felt her tremble the tiniest bit. She was still smiling at Amethyst and Steven, but there was a flicker of sadness in her eyes.

"Can't I just want to visit?" Amethyst asked lightly.

"Ha!" Steven sent a soft glare at he purple quartz. "Peridot needed help sorting her notes and s _omeone_ thought it would be funny to rearrange them into a giant picture of herself instead." He declared jerking his thumb at Amethyst. Jasper winced. She knew Peridot well enough to know that the green gem would have been furious.

"Creative liberty." Amethyst cut in. The purple quartz didn't seem at all sorry and grinned. "So Garnet asked me to get out of the house before Peri popped a gasket." She finished for him.

Jasper shook her head. "Garnet's right. You'll never learn."

Amethyst snorted. "Those guys need to lighten up."

Steven sighed at her, but then smiled up at Jasper and Lapis. "I decided it was a good excuse to drop by."

"You don't need an excuse to come here, Steven." Lapis reprimanded softly.

The boy grinned at her. "I know." He stepped forward and Lapis slipped away from Jasper to hug him.

The warrior gem immediately felt the loss of contact, but she smiled affectionately at the pair. She leaned down to ruffle his hair as they broke apart. "So, other than hiding a refuge rebel, what should we do today?"

Before he could reply, something struck Jasper from behind. She had no time to react and landed face first in the grass with something very heavy atop her. Alarm filled her and she struggled to roll over under the weight on her back. She relaxed when the sounds of laughter filled the air. The weight shifted off of her and Jasper rolled over to see a very smug looking Lion looming over her. He huffed a greeting and Jasper laughed. She reached up to scratch under his chin with a smile. She had missed the pink beast.

"I guess I should have mentioned that Lion came along. I think he missed you." Steven chuckled.

Lion backed away just enough to allow her to stand and then began winding around her, rubbing his furred side against her. "You think?" His purrs were thunderous and she laughed again. She stooped slightly and took his large head in her hands. She looked deeply into his playfully flashing eyes. "I missed you too, Lion." She cooed, running her fingers though his mane.

He blinked at her and butted his head into her chest, purring even louder. She continued to stroke him, delighting in the feel of his fur. It had been far too long. She glanced up to shoot a grin at Lapis and found her watching them with a strange expression on her face.

She'd seen it before, but still had no idea what it meant. "What are you thinking right now?" She asked softly.

Lapis blinked and a blush flared to life on her cheeks. "Nothing." She mumbled, shooting a glance at Steven and Amethyst, before looking away.

Jasper frowned, but let it go. Inwardly, she wondered why having Steven and Amethyst here made Lapis so nervous? Looking back, she realized that any time any of the Crystal Gems had come to visit, Lapis always withdrew. She reacted with Steven the most normally, but even with him, there was a guarded look in her eyes that saddened Jasper to see.

"Hey, Jazz." Amethyst's voice pulled the warrior gem from her thoughts. "Feel up for a spar?" The purple quartz challenged with a grin.

Jasper smirked over at her. A spar did sound fun. Then she realized that Lapis might not be happy with such an activity. She glanced back at her and tilted her head question. The slender gem tilted her head slightly, mimicking her, before shooting her a rueful smile. She suddenly remembered the conversation they'd had when Garnet had visited. Lapis had told her then that she wanted the warrior gem to be who she was. The affectionate sparkle in her navy eyes had Jasper smiling hugely.

She pushed Lion away with a last pat and turned back to Amethyst, lifting her chin in a taunting way. "You're on, runt!"

The purple quartz immediately dropped into a fighting stance and Jasper did the same. Amethyst began to stalk sideways and Jasper mirrored her. They circled each other for a moment, both waiting for the other to make the first move. The warrior gem felt that familiar tingle of anticipation that preceded a good fight. Amethyst's predatory smirk and the dark humor in her eyes showed the same. It had been far too long since their last spar.

 **-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-**

The afternoon sun was high in the sky when Amethyst broke away and collapsed onto the grass with a groan. "I'm done!" She cried.

Jasper chuckled softly and wiped the sweat from her brow. "Yeah, me too." She agreed, flopping down beside the purple quartz.

They lay in silence for a moment as their breathing calmed. Amethyst certainly hadn't been slacking while they had been apart. The warrior gem felt her months of peaceful living very acutely at the moment; not that she minded much at all. Lapis and Steven had long since stopped watching them and had gone inside. Jasper wanted to go find Lapis, but she was hoping that the alone time with Steven would help the slender gem. Steven's healing powers went far beyond spit. She grinned at the thought.

"What's that grin for?" Amethyst asked from beside her.

Jasper let her head fall to the side and saw Amethyst staring at her. "Just happy." She replied, looking back up to the clouds. It was true enough; there was no need to taint the fun with her deeper thoughts.

"You do seem happy." Amethyst said after a moment.

The warrior gem smiled. "I am. Being here is the best."

"Yeah." The purple quartz sighed. It wasn't a happy sigh.

Jasper turned her head to look at her again, brows furrowed in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Amethyst glanced at her quickly before looking back up at the sky. "Nothing."

Jasper frowned and sat up. The purple quartz looked close to tears. Jasper blinked, her heart dropping. Why was Amethyst sad? "What's wrong, Amethyst?" She repeated softly.

Amethyst turned her head away. "How are things with Lapis?"

Jasper sighed. Apparently, Amethyst didn't want to talk about it. "They're good. She's doing a lot better these days."

"Really?" Amethyst's tone was dark.

Jasper didn't know what to make of that. "Why do you ask?" She asked tentatively. She was utterly confused.

"Because I don't get it." She snapped, anger leaking into her tone.

"Get what?" The warrior gem asked. She was very quickly growing frustrated with Amethyst's cryptic replies.

"Why is she so special?" Amethyst suddenly burst. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees.

Jasper was taken aback. She had no idea what was going on. "What do you mean?" She tried to keep the question neutral.

"I mean what does she have that makes her _so_ important?" She shouted. "She's all Peridot talks about when she isn't working. Steven too! Lapis this and Lapis that! And you don't even visit. You left us and just... came here!" She glared over at the stunned warrior gem. "Did you even look back?"

Jasper gaped at her. How could Amethyst _possibly_ ask her that after the conversation she'd overheard between her and the other gems the night she'd left the beach house. "I didn't just _leave,_ Amethyst! I had to go!"

The purple quartz shook her head. "But you didn't have to!"

The warrior gem scoffed and looked away. Her fingers dug into the grass as she tried to stop them from balling into fists at her side. All of her past frustration came roaring into the forefront of her mind. She had forgiven the Crystal Gems for how they had hurt her, but it didn't mean that the memory didn't still sting.

"Right. I was just supposed to keep quiet and let all of you talk about me behind my back." She snorted.

Amethyst gasped. "I was defending you!"

"Didn't sound like it." She growled.

"Steven told me what you overheard." Amethyst snapped. "I _hated_ what they said about you. So did Garnet!"

"And yet you both agreed to to treat me like a criminal!" She bit back tears at the awful memory. "Garnet saw me turning back to evil."

"It doesn't matter what she saw! She still believed in you and so did I! And if you'd stuck around, you'd _know_ that!"

Jasper glared at her. "You mean I should have stayed and let you all hold me prisoner for a crime I didn't commit!"

Amethyst stood in a flurry of motion and faced her. "Garnet and I _never_ would have done that!" She shouted.

Jasper stood as well, anger rippling through her. "I heard you both agree to it!"

"You didn't hear all of it!" The infuriated purple quartz shouted. Jasper faltered, confusion washing away the worst of her anger. Amethyst continued before she could reply. "Garnet came to me in my room after that talk you overheard. We were going to tell you. She even talked to Pearl. Pearl finally admitted she bad for the things she'd said. She wanted to trust you too, but she was afraid to. Said she didn't want us to get hurt again by someone pretending. It's happened to us before. Pearl said she sided with Peri in the heat of the moment, but she didn't actually think you were just pretending." Jasper was absolutely stunned. But Amethyst wasn't finished, so she continued to listen. "We were all going to stand up to Peridot and talk to Steven about it. But the next day, you were gone." She seemed to deflate, the anger in her eyes leeching away into a bitter sadness. "Steven was angry. So angry at us until we explained it to him. And then he was so sad. Peridot was angry at us when we confronted her. The rest of us wanted to look for you, but we didn't know where. There was so much going on." There was a far off look in her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair. "A corruption attacked near Beach City that day. All of us were off our game. It almost went really bad." There was a look of horror in her eyes, that hurt Jasper to see. What had almost happened that would give Amethyst such an expression? The purple quartz continued before she could ask. "We had to make a choice. We couldn't come after you, no matter how much we wanted to. We had to keep looking for the source." She blinked and seemed to come back to the present. "And the entire time we were worried about you, you were here with _Lapis-_ " Lapis' name came out in a snarl. Her lip curled in anger and disgust. "-watching stupid soap operas and playing house!" She shouted. "I tried to do what the other's were doing and just let it go, but I just can't! You left us and didn't even _try_ to come back!"

Jasper was still stunned and overwhelmed by everything, but the last few statements awakened her anger again. She was _done_ being blamed for things beyond her control. "I didn't know I _could_ come back!" She cried. "How would you have responded to what I overheard if it had been about you? I thought you all _hated_ me! I hated myself! I had no idea where to go or what to do! I wanted to _shatter_!" She shouted. Angry tears swelled in her eyes and she let them fall. Let Amethyst see her cry, she didn't care. There was no mask she could assume now. There was no hiding from the storm of emotion raging inside her. "I didn't even know where I was! I was alone and lost and afraid that I'd succumb to the evil inside me! _Garnet saw it_!" She all but choked on the words as a sob ripped from her chest. "She saw me becoming bad again! I didn't want that. I didn't know what to do. What was I supposed to think?!" She shouted desperately. "And then I found myself here. Here with _Lapis_." She mockingly mimicked Amethyst's snarl of the slender gem's name. "Of all the places for the warp to bring me, it brought me here. To the home of the gem who hated me more that anyone else in the universe. She almost _killed_ me!" She cried, hating that she was saying it aloud, but unable to stop the words. "And I almost let her." She looked back at Amethyst, staring into her shocked, wide eyes for a moment.

"But then... _she forgave me_!" Jasper couldn't hide the rekindled wonder she felt remembering that impossible conversation. "She gave me the chance I thought none of you would. She took me in when I had nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to. After _everything_ I put her through, Lapis was the one who gave me another chance when I didn't think I had one left. She gave me a reason to keep on living when I didn't have anything else." More tears spilled from her and she turned away, unable to face Amethyst any longer. Her words kept coming, pouring from her in a font of pain."I felt guilty for leaving the fight. I felt guilty for abandoning Steven. Even Lapis felt guilty, because she thought I'd be happier with all of you and fighting for Earth. But I _chose_ to stay. I stayed because I had _finally_ found something better than the life I was living. I found something worth more than victory and glory. I found a reason to be the better person I never thought I could be. And Lapis is the one who gave that to me!" She shouted through her sobs.

Silence fell after her outburst. For a long moment, there was nothing but the tears she was fighting to suppress. The slurs Amethyst had made against Lapis made the warrior gem's blood run hot, even through her tears. Lapis had been through so much, had grown so much with her. Her life had been as painful and terrifying as Jasper's. How dare Amethyst mock the peaceful life Lapis had chosen? The same life Jasper herself had chosen once actually given a true choice? She bit back more words of anger. They would solve nothing. She'd said enough.

She heard movement as Amethyst stepped closer. The purple quartz moved so that she could look the warrior gem in the eyes and Jasper fought not to turn away again. She swallowed her anger and forced herself to meet Amethyst's gaze without emotion. She was surprised to see a softness there; the anger before was nowhere to be seen.

"You love her, don't you?" Amethyst whispered softly.

Jasper gaped at her. Shock blasted her anger from her mind. That was the last thing she'd been expecting the purple quartz to say. "W-what?" She stammered.

Amethyst smiled. It was soft and sad and knowing. "Lapis." Her voice was still a whisper. "You love her." This time it was a statement and not a question.

A blush burned to life on Jasper's cheeks. Acute embarrassment and confusion chased away the last of her tears. The subject change was too swift and it had caught her entirely off guard. How had Amethyst figured that out? What had she said to give her that impression? All she'd done was speak the truth. She'd only recently figured out how she felt about Lapis and had yet to say the words aloud, because a part of her was terrified by what it would mean. And yet, here was Amethyst, who she hadn't actually had a real conversation with in months, standing there telling her that she knew. She didn't know what to say. How should she respond? Her mind was reeling with the suddenness of it.

"I... I don't know what to say." She whispered.

Amethyst laughed softly. "It's okay, Jazz. You don't have to say it. I can see it."

The warrior gem looked away, her blush flaring brighter. She felt confused and uncomfortable as she tried to wrap her mind around the implications of what this meant. "How?" She asked, unable to keep her voice from trembling.

"You... change when you talk about her." Amethyst answered in a gentle tone. "You always have. I honestly don't see how I didn't see it before."

The warrior gem felt a trickle of fear. "Is it that obvious?" She asked, hugging herself tighter.

"Only if you know what to look for." Jasper breathed a sigh of relief. "Why?" Amethyst asked, trying to catch her eye again.

Jasper flinched away, her fingers digging into her upper arms so hard she was almost certain they'd leave bruises behind. She felt extremely vulnerable and self conscious and didn't know what the purple quartz would see in her expression. She didn't want to know. Suddenly, she knew that the fear of this might be what made Lapis so guarded when the Crystal Gems were around. Jasper had gotten used to it just being her and Lapis. With Lapis, she was so relaxed, so unafraid to speak whatever was on her mind. She knew that Lapis would never judge her. But Amethyst and the other Crystal gems had hurt her. Badly.

She mentally shook herself as she faced a truth. Amethyst had already expressed her guilt over the conversation that had ended the warrior gem's time at the beach house and hadn't Jasper thought she'd already forgiven her for that? Now she knew that Amethyst and Garnet and even Pearl had never truly betrayed her trust. Amethyst had been the only other person besides Steven that she had really opened up to before. And Amethyst had really opened up to her too. So why did the thought of trusting the purple quartz with this hurt so much?

She looked up and found Amethyst watching her with an expression of deep concern. Amethyst was truly worried about her. She needed to explain herself; it was the only way forward.

She took a deep breath and sighed, trying to let go of her fear and worry. "I didn't want anyone to know." She admitted.

Amethyst winced. "I'm sorry." She apologized. "I shouldn't have said anything." She said earnestly.

The warrior gem shook her head. "It's okay."

"Is it alright if I ask why you don't want anyone to know?" Amethyst asked haltingly after a moment.

Jasper looked away again, fighting the automatic urge to shut down. "Because I don't want Lapis to know."

"Why?" Amethyst sounded surprised.

The warrior gem sighed heavily, trying to fight away her sudden frustration at the questions. "I don't know." She answered honestly. She felt a need to clarify the statement, whether for herself or for Amethyst, she wasn't sure. "I just... don't. Things are great right now. I like being here. I like spending time with her. I like things just the way they are. I don't want things to change."

Amethyst was silent for a moment. "That's fair." She replied. "I get it."

Jasper risked a glance back at her. "You do?" She asked softly.

The purple quartz sent her a smile full of understanding. "Yeah, I get it." Her tone was wistful and, for a moment, her eyes seemed to focus on something the warrior gem couldn't see.

Jasper felt a band of tension inside her ease. She still felt very vulnerable however, and couldn't suppress her next question. "And you won't tell anyone?"

Amethyst blinked and her eyes focused on Jasper once again. "My lips are sealed." She promised.

The warrior gem let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Thanks."

The purple quartz beamed at her. "No problem. And, Jazz?"

"Yeah?"

Amethyst blushed and kicked the grass at her feet. Her hands clasped together behind her and she titled her head to hide the blush behind her hair. "If you... you know... wanna talk about it, I'm here." The offer seemed to embarrass her, but sounded genuine.

Jasper chuckled softly at the display. Amethyst was as cute as Lapis when she was embarrassed. The sight relaxed her even further. She was grateful that the purple quartz had made the effort, even if it obviously made her uncomfortable. "Thanks, Amethyst."

"Welcome." She muttered. "And I'm sorry about... you know... the other stuff too. I missed you." Her blush flared brighter and she fidgeted even more. Then, she shook her head and exaggerated a huge sigh. "And now I've officially hit my quota for mushy stuff." She joked with a cheeky grin, flipping her hair back over her shoulder.

That made Jasper laugh. Being back on familiar territory helped her push the last of her anxiety from her mind. "I missed you, too, Amethyst."

And she had. She's missed sparring with her and talking. Even if it had been heated, she was glad that Amethyst had wanted to talk to her and clear the air in her own way. The volatile purple quartz had been her second real friend after Steven.

"Alright! Now that that's settled..." The purple quartz waved her hands in the air as if to ward something off. "... let's go annoy Steven!" She grinned mischievously.

Jasper laughed again. "How about _you_ annoy him and I watch from a safe distance."

Amethyst stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at the warrior gem. "Party pooper."

Jasper chuckled, shaking her head, and turned to start walking back towards the barn. She slowed her stride when she heard Amethyst start after her, so they could walk together. She was still a little shaken over their discussion, but a greater part of her was pleased about it. Somehow, the fact that someone knew her greatest secret made it feel even more real. She still hadn't actually said the words aloud, but she had admitted that they were true. It made it feel more real somehow.

She ducked through the barn and was greeted with the soft sounds of laughter. She looked in the direction of the happy sounds and saw Steven and Lapis sitting together on the couch looking at his phone. She had been right about Steven's healing powers. There was no tension in the slender gem's laughter and true happiness danced in her eyes. Steven had broken through her walls and Jasper felt her heart swell in gratitude for the boy. He truly was a wonder. She watched for a moment, enjoying the sight of Lapis' happiness. Lapis seemed to feel her gaze, because she looked up expectantly. The moment their eyes met, the slender gem sent her a radiant smile. Jasper felt her heart skip a beat and felt the familiar feeling that was love for the gem before her swell inside of her. She never ever wanted that feeling to fade.

"Hey, guys!" Steven cried in greeting. "Come take some pictures with us!"

"Selfies!" Amethyst cheered. "I'm in!"

She ran to the ladder and scrambled up. Jasper laughed as the purple quartz nearly tackled the two on the couch with her enthusiasm. "Ah! My phone!" Steven cried as he almost dropped the device.

"Whoops!" Amethyst belied the apology with a mischievous grin.

The purple quartz settled properly onto the couch beside Steven amid smiles and laughs. Jasper stared for a long moment at the happy scene. Lapis met her gaze again, eyes sparkling with joy. The slender gem titled her head and patted the couch beside her, narrowing her eyes playfully. The warrior gem grinned at the silent order. She took a few steps and jumped lightly up. Steven and Amethyst were already posing for a picture. Jasper suddenly felt a little mischievous herself and smirked before flopping heavily onto the couch, jostling all three of them.

"Jasper!" The immediate cries of protest followed that followed the action had her chuckling smugly as she got comfortable.

Lapis leaned into her under the guise of shifting into a more comfortable position. "Jerk." She whispered softly.

"Nerd." Jasper whispered back.

They shared another smile before Lapis leaned away slightly to pose for the picture Steven was about to take. She felt another mischievous urge and leaned into her heavily. Lapis let out a squeak of surprise as she was forced over onto Steven, who was similarly forced onto Amethyst. All of them cried out and Jasper grinned hugely, just before a bright light flashed from Steven's phone. She sat back up and they all got comfortable again with wordless grumbles.

Then Steven looked at his phone and laughed. "I think this is my new favorite picture!"

Jasper leaned over to look and laughed too. Steven, Amethyst, Lapis all were wearing expressions of indignant surprise and the camera had perfectly captured her mischievous grin. "Mine too." She agreed.

She looked back at Lapis as she sat back up. The slender gem glared at her and Jasper winked back. Lapis rolled her eyes and looked pointedly away, feigning indifference. Jasper chuckled softly and shifted just a little closer to her, draping her arm along the back of the couch. She smiled when she felt Lapis lean back against her just the tiniest bit. Then she had a sudden thought; Lapis would probably like to have that picture. The slender gem only had pictures that Steven had sent her in his messages. They hadn't taken any of themselves. She wondered why, but then dismissed that thought for another time.

"Hey." She leaned forward to catch Steven's eye. "You can send that picture to Lapis' phone, right?" She asked him.

"Sure!" He replied, sounding delighted.

"Awesome." She grinned at him. Out if the corner of her eye, she saw Lapis blushing. She winked at her, earning a radiant smile from the slender gem.

She settled back onto the couch, happy that she'd thought of it and that it had made Lapis happy. She felt something touch her hand and looked down right as Lapis hooked their pinkies together. The slender gem squeezed them together for a moment with a small smile. Jasper felt herself blushing in pleasure and couldn't keep a silly grin off of her face. Lapis wasn't looking at her, but the blush on her face flared even brighter as the warrior gem squeezed back. Jasper looked away as well, trying to hide her blush.

She felt the tiniest bit silly that so simple a gesture could make her feel so giddy. The fact that they were sitting there, fingers linked in front of the others without detection, made her feel like she was getting away with something. It sent a happy trill up her spine and she felt the sudden urge to pull Lapis against her in a hug. She refrained and squeezed their hooked fingers again. Lapis leaned back against her a little more and the warrior gem was overcome with happiness. She never wanted this moment to end.

 **-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-**

Jasper stood in the doorway with Lapis, waving at Steven and Amethyst one more time. She glanced over as Lapis was just lowering her hand from waving as well. She sighed happily and Jasper smiled, before closing the door with a soft click. Lion had disappeared hours earlier, but Steven and Amethyst had stayed well into the night. They'd all laughed and played until Steven was heavy eyed and content. If his stomach hadn't begun growling loudly, Jasper would have offered to let them stay. Steven could have had their bed. Even if she enjoyed sleeping, she finally felt like she was back up to her old strength and wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. Lapis seemed to share her sentiment; the warrior gem could already see the wheels turning in her head as the slender gem no doubt thought about what they would do next. She smiled fondly, watching her think in silence. Just looking at her made Jasper happy.

Something about accidentally revealing her feelings for Lapis to Amethyst earlier had shifted something inside of the warrior gem. She had already craved the feeling of being close to Lapis, but now? It was as if the feeling had become even more powerful. She hadn't even thought it possible, but there was no denying that it was true.

Lapis looked up at her and their eyes met. A tingle ran up the warrior gem's spine and she suddenly felt as if their were a magnet between them, urging her to move closer; she couldn't look away. Lapis' navy eyes went wide and a blush tinted her cheeks, but she didn't look away either. For the longest moment, there was nothing for Jasper except for the beautiful gem before her looking back at her.

" _Yo! Someone loves you!_ " A voice rang through the air.

Both of them jumped and Jasper spun around, expecting to see someone in the doorway. There was no one there. A chill ran up her spine and her heart began to pound. The voice had sounded like Amethyst, but she couldn't be sure. "Amethyst?" She called tentatively after a few moments.

" _Yo! Someone loves you!_ " The almost- Amethyst voice rang out again.

Jasper started again and spun. She automatically reached for Lapis as she looked around for the speaker and felt the slender gem grip her hand tightly. Amethyst's voice had sounded strange... not like her at all. Even when she shape shifted, her voice didn't sound like that. The warrior gem wondered for a terrifying moment if some sort of mimicking creature had snuck into their home while they were distracted. Did Earth even have such creatures? She didn't know, but she was ready for anything as she desperately inspected every visible part of their home. Without knowing which way the threat was coming from, she was more afraid for Lapis than for herself. She gently let go of the slender gem's hand and reached further backwards, pulling Lapis' body into her back. Lapis clung to her, fingers grasping the fabric of the warrior gem's shirt.

"What's going on?" The slender gem asked in a terrified whisper.

"I don't know." Jasper growled. "Just stay behind me."

" _Yo! Someone loves you!_ "

This time, Jasper was ready and could pinpoint the direction the voice was coming from. The loft. She couldn't quite see all of it from where she was. She was torn between removing Lapis from danger and going to face whatever it was that had invaded their home. Before she could think herself into a tangle, she remembered her promise to the slender gem.

"It's in the loft." She whispered to her. "What do you want to do?"

She heard and felt Lapis take a deep breath. The slender gem slipped from her back to her side. The warrior gem rearranged her arm to wrap around her shoulders, pulling Lapis against her as tightly as she could. Lapis wrapped both arms around her waist as far as they could go, clinging to her. She was trembling, but when Jasper glanced down, she saw Lapis staring at the loft with a look of determination on her face.

"Let's go find out what it is." She said firmly.

Jasper again found herself torn, but now it was between pride at for Lapis wanting to be brave and wishing the slender gem had wanted to take cover and let Jasper face the threat alone. Lapis had decided though, and she would go with her decision. But they were going to do it her way.

"Let me go in front of you." She ordered softly.

Lapis nodded and stepped away from her. Jasper crouched as Lapis coalesced her wings. The warrior gem leaped and heard the sound of rushing water only a moment later. Jasper made sure she was in front of the slender gem when she landed. Immediately, she dropped into a fighting position. For a heartbeat, there was nothing but the tension zinging through her veins as she searched for the threat. There was nothing there. She blinked in confusion. What was she missing?

" _Yo! Someone loves you!_ "

Jasper started again and nearly jumped out of her skin as Lapis gasped loudly behind her. She spun with a snarl, fearing that whatever it was had snuck up on the slender gem. Lapis squeaked in fear and Jasper realized that the slender gem had merely reacted to the voice and then she herself had scared her further.

She opened her mouth to apologize when the voice called out again. " _Yo! Someone loves you!_ "

She spun back around. It was definitely there, but _where_? Her heart was pounding, sweat beading on her skin as she panted in fear. She could hear Lapis' terrified breathing behind her. She _had_ to protect the slender gem.

" _Yo! Someone loves you!_ "

This time, Jasper saw Lapis' phone light up as the voice called. Was the _phone_ calling out to them in Amethyst's voice? She approached it tentatively, eyes darting all around her so that nothing could strike while she was distracted.

" _Yo! Someone loves you!_ "

It _was_ the phone! She felt like the biggest fool on the planet. She was going to kill Amethyst. "Lapis!" She cried. "It's your phone!"

" _What_?" She cried, rushing forward.

As they watched, the phone went off again. Amethyst's voice was coming from the speaker. Lapis looked utterly confused as she picked up the device. "Steven is sending me the pictures. But why does the phone sound like Amethyst now?" She stared at the phone as if it would answer her.

"Can you make it stop?" Jasper asked as it sounded again.

"I don't even know how she did it! When did she even have my phone?"

Jasper was dumbfounded. If Lapis didn't know how to fix it... she could only think of one solution. "Maybe you call Steven and ask if he knows how?"

Lapis was blinking rapidly. "Sure. Hang on." She tapped the screen. "I'll put it on speaker."

The warrior gem heard a low tone sound a few times before Steven's voice greeted them. "Hi, Lapis! Did you get the pictures?"

"We got them." She answered. "Steven. Amethyst did something to my phone." She sounded exasperated.

"Oh, no." He groaned. "What did she do?"

"Well, somehow it's talking in her voice every time I get a message."

"Amethyst!" He cried, presumably to the quartz in question. "Why did you mess with Lapis' phone?" Amethyst's distant laughter could be heard through the speaker.

"It's not funny, Amethyst!" Jasper shouted, leaning closer to the phone. She didn't know if Amethyst could hear her or not, but she was so angry she didn't care. "You scared us! I thought there was something here trying to attack us!"

She could hear Amethyst laugh again, sounding louder than before. "Golden! Now I wish I'd set up a video camera!"

"Amethyst!" She growled. The purple quartz continued to laugh. The sound got fainter, so Jasper could only assume she'd walked away. "She is _so_ dead next time I see her!" She had half a mind to go for the warp pad this instant.

Lapis reached out and put a hand to her arm. "Let's just get the phone fixed first. Then we can decide who's killing who." Her tone didn't bode well for the purple quartz and her eyes were flashing with anger. Jasper was strangely pleased to see that look on Lapis' face, but she was still to annoyed with Amethyst to examine it at the moment.

Steven sighed heavily. "Okay. I think I can walk you through the steps. Just let me know when you're ready."

"I am." The slender gem answered.

Jasper frowned and stomped over to the couch as he began to walk Lapis through the steps to fix her phone. She sat heavily and crossed her arms, still glowering at the phone as if Amethyst could see her. No wonder Garnet had wanted her out of the house if she was doing things like this to Peridot and Pearl. Still though, as she calmed further, she could see a bit of humor in the situation. She'd been terrified out her wits by a phone. If it had just happened to her, she'd probably be laughing it off by now, but the fact that Lapis had been scared by it as well was _not_ okay. And what was with her word choice? Was she already trying to break the promise she'd made to Jasper? She was still fairly angry by the time Lapis ended the call.

She walked over to the couch and flopped down beside Jasper. "I think it's fixed." She sighed.

The phone chimed again and it was the same tone as it had been before Amethyst's prank. "Thank the stars." She muttered.

Lapis smiled over at her. "Oh, stop pouting already." She teased.

She was happy to hear the humor in the slender gem's tone. She tried to push away the last of her resentment towards Amethyst for the moment. There would be time for that later. She decided to go with the joke and gasped in mock affront. "I am not _pouting_. I'm angry. There's a difference." She huffed.

Lapis assumed a neutral expression. "So I'm guessing you're too angry to look at the pictures with me then." She exaggerated a sigh. "Too bad." Mischief danced in her navy eyes.

Rather than respond verbally, Jasper reached out and pulled the slender gem to her. Lapis giggled, but let herself be caught up in the hug. Lapis ended up sideways in her lap, side to Jasper's chest. The slender gem wiggled a moment, before resting her head on Jasper shoulder with a soft sigh. The warrior gem rested her cheek in Lapis' hair and squeezed her tight.

"Show me the pictures." She demanded in a whisper.

Lapis giggled again. "And you say I'm the bossy one."

Jasper chuckled, but said nothing as Lapis pulled up the picture files. They sat in happy silence as they looked through them. She was so very happy in this moment. Even with the argument and the scare, it had still been a wonderful day. Lapis paused on one picture and went stiff in her arms with the tiniest gasp. Jasper blinked and focused on it, not knowing what had made Lapis react in such a way. All she could see at first was Steven and Amethyst making silly faces at the camera. And then, she looked in the background. It was when Lapis had hooked their pinkies together. Both of them were looking away from each other in the picture, blushing hotly.

She blushed again at the memory and then smiled. "I take it back. I think that is my new favorite picture."

Lapis relaxed in her arms. "Me too." She whispered.

Lapis reaction had confused her slightly, but Jasper glanced at her face and saw a soft smile there; whatever thought she'd had was gone now. Jasper felt herself smiling too. Even with the argument with Amethyst and the purple gem's prank, it had been a very good day. She watched Lapis stare at the picture for another long moment, before flipping to the next. Steven had also sent pictures of the day he and Connie had come to visit. Even though they'd already looked through them, she was content as Lapis did so again. She was happy that Lapis had them. Now she had more happy memories, just like she did herself. And then she remembered something else.

"How come we don't have any pictures of us?"

Lapis looked up at her. She seemed to only just realize this herself. "I don't know."

The warrior gem smiled and plucked the phone from her hands. She'd seen enough pictures taken now to know how it was done. She opened the camera program and held the phone up high. "Say cheese!"

Lapis laughed and Jasper tapped the screen. She dropped her arm to look at the picture and smiled hugely. She was smiling and Lapis was laughing in her arms. Now, she had a _new_ new favorite picture.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **You guys are amazing! I'll never stop saying it, because it never gets less true! I love you guys!**

 **I have good news! My recovery is coming along far more quickly than I or the doctors predicted! I'm feeling MUCH better, so I was able to write WAY more than I thought! I should be able to resume work as normal Monday. Yay!**

 **Thank you all so very much for your well wishes and your support. I think that is part of what has helped me stay so positive during this bought of recovery and also a large factor in speeding it along. I'm not totally out of the woods, but I'm getting there. Again, thank you all so much. I absolutely love hearing from you all and am so glad that all of you are here with me on this journey we are taking. Still not a lot of progress this chapter, but I'm learning something new; how to take things one step at a time. Healing and connecting and happiness are three very important parts of life. And that's true for all of us. But that's all for now.**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 34**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!**

 **I love you guys! Boy am I ever glad I got this chapter done on time. But we'll talk more at the end.**

 **Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Jasper asked Lapis one more time.

Lapis turned from picking up a cloth-lined, wooden box and nodded, looking determined. "I don't want to remember it for what it was. I want to remember it as something else. Something... happier." Her eyes reflected sadness as she no doubt remembered the past she said she was trying to erase.

The happy feelings from Steven and Amethyst's visit had carried on well into the night, but as the morning neared, Lapis had grown pensive and withdrawn. Something Steven had said to her was weighing on her, but she wouldn't say what. She was silent for a long time after the sun rose, staring out at the sky. Heavy clouds tinted the world outside their home a dreary grey, but no rain fell. Jasper had done everything she could to pul Lapis from her head, to no avail, until suddenly the slender gem had decided out of nowhere that she wanted to tear down the broken glass sculpture that Jasper had tried futilely to repair weeks ago. The memory of that awful day still haunted the warrior gem. She hadn't realized it until Lapis had said something, but they had both been unconsciously avoiding the area that it was in. The only time she'd gone there was to retrieve the ladder and box. Apparently, Lapis had decided that it wasn't good for them not to face what had happened. The warrior gem wasn't sure she agreed, but she had silently helped her to line the boxes. Now, again in silence, she picked up the second box and followed as Lapis walked out the door. They were still silent as they topped the hill. Lapis didn't even pause, but the sight of the destruction made Jasper stop short.

With a heavy heart, she remembered the first time she'd topped that hill. It had been her first step into the world of art; a world that seemed to make up a large portion of Lapis' happiness. She remembered how absolutely awed she'd felt when she had first laid eyes on Lapis' creation. The renewed sight of the now ruined splendor almost broke her heart.

"Jasper?" Lapis called softly. "Are you alright?"

The warrior gem blinked and only just then noticed the tears in her eyes. She let go of the box with one hand and dashed them away. "Sorry." She called back.

She looked after Lapis and found her at the bottom of the hill. The slender gem gave her a sad smile as Jasper started towards her. "It's okay."

The warrior gem shook her head. Their roles were sorely reversed in her eyes. She should be the one comforting Lapis, not the other way around. "I still hate that I broke it."

Lapis sighed. "You didn't break it, Jasper." She said firmly. "It was an accident. We were both to blame."

Jasper flinched at her sharp tone. She quickly swallowed another apology, figuring it would only make things worse. Instead, she did the only thing she could think of. "Well. You're always right, so I guess I should wise up and listen then, huh?" She joked.

Lapis laughed, but it wasn't exactly a happy one. "I'm not always right, Jasper. Far from it." There was a dark sadness about her and her eyes were distant when the warrior gem turned to her.

Jasper didn't like it. She immediately put down her box and grasped the one Lapis held. She took it from her and stacked it on the other, before taking the slender gem's hand. Lapis didn't look up at her, but she grasped the warrior gem's fingers with her own.

"Are you alright?" Jasper knew the question was foolish, but couldn't help asking.

Lapis shook her head slightly, then bit her lip and nodded. "I will be." She murmured.

Jasper swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. "We don't have to do this, Lapis."

The slender gem sighed again. "But we do."

"Why?" The warrior gem asked, letting a little of the desperate need she felt for answers slip into her tone.

"Didn't you say that we should focus on making wrongs into rights?" Lapis asked, finally looking up. Tears danced in her eyes. "I need to get past this. If you're really going to be fighting for Earth, then I want to fight for what is important to me too. And that-" She let go of the warrior gem's hand and gestured sharply at the sculpture with both of hers. "-was important to me. When I finally followed my heart back to Earth only to find myself too afraid to reach out to Steven and Peridot, that was all that kept me going for awhile. Like I was trying to figure out how to put the pieces of my life together and see what I could make of it." She ran a hand through her hair with a frustrated sound. "It was silly, foolish, but it meant a lot to me. Even after you came, I was still trying to put them together. And then, I went too far and destroyed it." She rasped a self depreciating laugh as her tears began to fall. "It was a self fulfilling prophecy. I let my fear destroy the life I had. This time-" She looked back up at Jasper with a fire in her eyes that made the warrior gem both happy and sad. "-this time I won't. I won't let anything destroy the things I hold dear to me. Even if I can't fight the way you can, I can fight in my own way. And that means not letting the darkness inside me win." She said firmly. "It's time to take this mess and make it into something more."

Jasper had never felt more proud of another being as she did watching Lapis declaring war on her demons. Her heart was wrenching inside her chest, but she was glad that Lapis was finally expressing the pain. It had been the one thing they hadn't talked about. The one thing that Lapis had never wanted to examine. They'd talked about their horror of a fusion even, but not this. And now she knew why. She'd known that the sculpture was important to Lapis, but not to this degree. Guilt made her heart heavy. Even if Lapis wouldn't let her say it, she knew she was the one who had broken the sculpture. She'd failed to fix it before, but she would not fail again.

"Just tell me what you want me to do." She said firmly, reaching out to lay a hand on Lapis' shoulder.

Lapis sent her a teary smile. She leaned into the warrior gem, wrapping her arms around Jasper's waist and resting her head on her chest. "Thank you, Jasper." She whispered.

Jasper returned the embrace, squeezing her tightly. "Anything for you, Lapis." She whispered back.

When the slender gem pulled away, her tears were gone. Jasper could still see the sadness over her like an invisible cloud, but Lapis was fighting it. When she smiled up at Jasper, a world of emotion swam in her eyes beneath the sadness. The warrior gem felt her own emotions roaring like a storm inside her head. They were both still fighting their darkness. Jasper couldn't think of a better person to fight beside.

Wordlessly, Lapis knelt on the ground and began to carefully pick up pieces of glass. Jasper watched her for a moment, before kneeling beside her and doing the same. The melancholy silence returned, weighing the air between them as they worked.

Hours passed as the glass was carefully dug from the grass that had tried to swallow it up and the still hanging pieces were taken down. They packed it all as gently as possible into the softened boxes. The wires were carefully coiled and the frame disassembled and stacked.

The space looked even more forlorn without the ruined splendor. Shards remained, glistening like stars among the grass. Each tiny glint strangely reminded the warrior gem of fractured memories. The grass would soon finish taking them over and the moments of pain would be buried out of sight. She knew though, that even if they couldn't be seen, they'd remain there forever now. Just like hers. Just Like Lapis'.

The sky was beginning to fade, a dreary fog rising around them as they finished the morose task. Even the usually gorgeous sunset seemed muted to match her mood, Jasper noted with a heavy heart. The sorrowful silence continued as the slender gem picked up one box. Her eyes were distant, but she waited for Jasper to retrieve the other, before they walked back to their home, side by side. Lapis took hers to the center of their home and looked up with a sigh.

Jasper joined her, looking up as well. She _had_ to say something. "What are you thinking right now?" She whispered, finally breaking the heavy silence that had begun to drive her all but mad.

"Everything." Lapis whispered back after a moment, her tone infinitely sad. "But I want to finish this."

Jasper was confused. "I thought we were finished?"

Lapis shook her head. "No. We're only halfway done." Her voice seemed distant, dreamy. "We still have to make it into something else."

The warrior gem blinked. She didn't truly understand. The way Lapis was talking scared her a little. She felt like the slender gem was miles away from her and her heart cried out at the distance. But Lapis was here. Right beside her. So why did she feel so very far away?

"Lapis?" She whispered softly, unable to fully mask the tremble of concern in her voice.

A shudder ran through the slender gem and she seemed to come back into herself. She looked over at Jasper and sent her a smile, that didn't quite reach her eyes. The warrior gem could see the effort it took for that smile. But, even if it was forced, there was a genuineness about the expression that Jasper couldn't really explain. The tension in her eased a bit, but didn't disappear entirely.

"I'm okay, Jasper." Lapis turned to her. "Really. I want to do this."

Jasper tried to swallow her trepidation. She could never deny Lapis anything. Whatever her thoughts were, whatever battle she was fighting, Jasper would support her through it. "What do you need?"

This time, Lapis' smile did reach her eyes. "A tall ladder."

The warrior gem wasn't expecting the joke and let out a bark of surprised laughter. "It's a good thing Pumpkin isn't the only one who knows how to fetch." She grinned.

 **-0-0-0-0-0-0-**

"You sure you're not tired?" Lapis asked, looking down at Jasper.

The warrior gem scoffed, feigning insult. "You literally weigh next to nothing, Lapis. I'm fine."

The ladder, though a few feet taller than Jasper, had been nowhere near tall enough for what the slender gem had planned and had simply become a sort of table for one of the boxes. She had wanted to hang the glass pieces from the roof surrounding the main light; like a chandelier, she'd said. Jasper had no idea what a chandelier was, but she didn't have to know. She'd see soon enough. The slender gem had flown up to hang the wires, but it was too precarious for her to remain aloft while handling the broken glass. She'd been at a loss until Jasper had inadvertently come up with a solution. Unable to simply watch Lapis struggle any longer, she had climbed to the top of the ladder and caught one of Lapis' feet in her hands, effectively making herself a perch. Lapis was still doing far more work that she was and it made Jasper feel a little less useless to be doing at least something to help. She could hold the entirety of Lapis' weight with one arm and had been able to reach out for Lapis to reach most of the hanging wires without having to move the ladder. She had slowly begun to anticipate which way the slender gem would move and which of the colors she wanted when she needed another piece. Words became few and far between as they worked, but the stretches of silence weren't the melancholy silence of before. Instead, they had become a sort of silent dance of understanding between them.

One by one the cracked panes and pieces were secured, some by the holes they'd already had, some by knots and loops that Lapis tied around them. The wires were different lengths. Some hung just below the roof and light, some dangled so low that the warrior gem could secure them herself. The effect they'd begun to have was beautiful. All the different colors and jagged shapes caught the light in new ways, refracting and reflecting it in rainbowed auras onto the walls of their home. Every time a cool night breeze blew through the windows, some of them turned and gently swayed. The entirety of it was already dazzlingly gorgeous, and they still had plenty more to hang.

Being so close, watching Lapis create this splendor out of so much pain, had a profound effect on Jasper. Seeing Lapis standing there above her, surrounded by fractured beauty, made Jasper feel as if she were staring into an entirely different world: a world of wonder that lived inside of Lapis that the warrior gem had only barely begun to glimpse. She was radiant, graceful as she moved and swayed on Jasper's steady hand.

The difference between them was evident in the moment. It was bittersweet and the warrior gem loved it, embraced it, for their differences were what made their time together all the more fun and interesting. She adored the gem she held above her, and forever more wanted to do nothing but be at her side.

The moment was broken by a chime from Lapis' phone. Jasper blinked and turned them both. To her great surprise, the sky was lightening outside. They'd almost missed the sunrise. She dismissed the thought and reached with Lapis toward the loft. The slender gem sent her a soft smile of thanks and hopped lightly off of her hand to retrieve the phone. Jasper stayed where she was and looked after her as she read the message. Lapis' expression changed as she stared at the phone. She had begun to look more peaceful, almost happy as they worked, but now she looked concerned and sad. As soon as she saw it, the warrior gem immediately leaped from the ladder to go to her.

"What is it?"

Lapis turned the phone to her and Jasper saw that the message was from Steven. _'Hey, Lapis! Hope I didn't wake you! Peridot and Pearl say the prototypes are ready to go. Garnet says we need Jasper. Is that okay?_ '

She found herself frowning as she read the message. She wanted to help the others and had known that she'd agreed to do so, but now that the thought of leaving Lapis and going on a mission was a reality, she found herself wishing she hadn't; especially now, when they were both raw from spending so much time exploring old wounds. Even as she thought it though, she knew she had to go. She had sworn to help Steven and protect Earth and that vow was still as strong as her love for Lapis. She felt torn. She looked helplessly up at the slender gem and saw Lapis gazing at her with an expression of sorrow and understanding.

"It's okay, Jasper." She murmured. "They need you."

The warrior gem didn't know what to say. She knew that, but she also knew that Lapis needed her too and that she needed Lapis. Looking into Lapis' eyes, she knew that Lapis knew it too They'd come to depend on the other to keep their darkness at bay. Lapis was her best friend in the entire universe; she didn't want to leave her alone. She wanted to say something, anything, but saying the words aloud would make it more real, more painful. Neither of them wanted that.

She suddenly felt that maybe she was being a little silly. She'd only be gone for a short time. All they had to do was place a few transmitters. There probably wouldn't even be a fight. It would be fine. She tried to push away her trepidation. She saw Lapis drawing away too; saw a wall rising in her eyes that she hated to see. The warrior gem swallowed more words; more things she wished she had the strength to say. This was how things had to be now. She had to stay true to her vow to Steven and Earth. In doing so, she'd be ultimately protecting Lapis and her home and their happiness together. She knew that, but it still hurt to do. There was, however, one thing that would make her feel slightly better about leaving Lapis and that might make Lapis feel better about her having to go.

Silently, she reached for the phone and Lapis gave it to her. ' _It's Jasper._ ' She typed. ' _I'll come, but is it okay if one of you brings Pumpkin to stay with Lapis while we're gone?_ '

His reply was almost instantaneous. ' _Sure! Be there in a few!_ ' He ended the message with a heart symbol that made her smile slightly, despite the sadness in her heart.

She looked up at Lapis and turned the phone to her. The slender gem read the messages and smiled slightly too. She blinked up at the warrior gem, directing that gentle smile at her and Jasper was happy to see that the sadness had been chased back, at least for the moment. The warrior gem wanted to keep the sadness away for as long as she could. She knew she had to leave soon, but she wasn't gone yet. They could still watch the sunrise together. Silently, she took Lapis' hand and drew her to the window. The sky still looked heavy and gray, but the coming sun made everything seem much brighter than the sunset had left it the day before.

Lapis sighed and leaned against the frame, looking out at the lightening world of gray with a soft expression. Jasper sighed too and leaned against the other side. Their hands were still connected as they watched the grays of the low hanging clouds began to glow golden. The world seemed to hold its breath as the sun finally peeked from behind the lingering fog. All of the previously forlorn looking sights began to glitter and sparkle as the sun's rays hit the lingering condensation that had gathered overnight. Jasper was overcome.

"Beautiful." Lapis whispered from beside her.

The warrior gem turned to look at her and felt her breath catch in her throat. Lapis wore an expression of profound awe, her eyes wide and glistening in the morning light. The sun's rays caught her hair, spinning it golden. No matter how many mornings she started like this, she never tired of seeing it.

She could have stared forever, but then Lapis spoke, breaking her from her thoughts. "You didn't have to ask if Steven could bring Pumpkin, by the way. I'll be okay." Even though she said it, there was gratitude in her tone.

Jasper smiled softly and reached out to cup her cheek, tilting the slender gem's face toward her so that she could look into her navy eyes as she spoke. "I know you will." She said firmly. And she did. Lapis was strong, the strongest gem she knew. Still, even though she was strong, Jasper wanted to help her in any way she could, even if it meant going along with it when Lapis wanted to deflect her pain; like she was doing right now. So, she continued, making the hurt into a joke as they so often did. "But poor Pumpkin might not be. I'm sure she misses you."

The slender gem leaned into her touch, eyes drifting shut for a moment. "I miss her too." She whispered.

When she blinked her eyes open, they were shining with emotion. The familiar mix of sadness and happiness and something that Jasper still could not name, even after all this time, made her heart skip a beat in her chest. When her heart began again, it started to pound a little harder with every second that passed as she stared into Lapis' eyes and wished for understanding and clarity. She wanted to ask about it, as she did every time, but the sound of barking from outside cut the thought short.

They'd left the door open and Pumpkin came charging into their home with a flurry of happy barks. She began looking for them immediately and whimpered sadly when she didn't see them. Jasper felt a burst of warmth for the affectionate creature. "Up here, Pumpkin." She called.

The orange creature looked up and her forlorn expression changed as her mouth opened and her tongue lolled out. She gave a happy yip and jumped in place a few times at the sight of them. Jasper chuckled at the adorable display and heard Lapis laugh softly beside her. The slender gem coalesced her wings and flew down to her. Jasper leaped down to join them as Pumpkin pranced around Lapis' feet for a happy moment.

"Hi, Pumpkin." Lapis cooed. She sat on the floor and Pumpkin instantly jumped into her lap, licking her and whimpering in happiness.

Jasper leaned over to pat the orange creature who was quickly covering a giggling Lapis in orange goop. "Hey, girl." She greeted softly.

Pumpkin turned from Lapis and jumped up, licking the warrior gem across the face before she could pull away. She bit back a cry of surprise so that none of it would get in her mouth and heard Lapis' giggles burst into loud laughter. "Good girl, Pumpkin." She praised through the laughs.

Jasper pulled a few tissues from her pocket, threw a few at Lapis, and dabbed enough of the goop away for her to open her eyes and mouth. She glared at the both of them. "You're lucky you're so cute or I'd have to teach you a lesson."

Lapis leered at her playfully as she tossed her soiled tissues towards the small container they'd been using for trash. "Who? Me or Pumpkin?"

Jasper lobbed her tissues as well. "Both of you." She snapped, mock anger not quite masking the amusement in her tone.

Lapis blushed and grinned, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You'd never teach me a lesson."

"Was that a challenge, your radiance?" The warrior gem threatened playfully.

"Maybe." Lapis taunted. "Too bad I'm too cute." She batted her lashes and hooked a pinky to her lips like Jasper had seen Steven do a time or two before. The expression was different on Lapis however, and the warrior gem felt her blood run hot as a blush flared on her cheeks.

She was suddenly embarrassed, but hid it behind a laugh. "I think I'll make an exception this once." She growled, taking a deliberate step towards the slender gem.

Lapis squeaked and tried to rise, but Pumpkin slowed her down. Jasper pounced the both of them, spilling them to the floor. She deftly trapped Pumpkin with one arm, before the startled creature could scurry away. She rose on her hands and knees above Lapis and leered down at her, keeping Pumpkin pinned with one hand. The orange creature struggled vainly, but Lapis didn't try to get away. Instead she laughed softly and lifted her hands to grasp the warrior gem's shoulders. Her expression dared the warrior gem to try something and seeing it sent another shock of tingles run through her. It made her happy, even if it scared her a little, but she fought to keep the leer in place. Lapis had apparently forgotten a delightful discovery that Jasper had made while watching camp Pining Hearts with the slender gem in their bed one night; Lapis was _very_ ticklish.

She released Pumpkin, who immediately scrambled away, and brought both hands to Lapis' sides. The slender gem's eyes went wide as she realized what Jasper was about to do. "Don't!" She pleaded, already giggling involuntarily as she cringed away.

The warrior gem paused for another moment, greatly enjoying having Lapis at her playful mercy, before setting in on her, fingers moving against Lapis' sides. Lapis instantly began to writhe, shrieking in laughter and the sight of it made Jasper laugh as well. The slender gem desperately tried to scoot away and Jasper moved with her, crawling along the floor to remain above her. Pumpkin regained her courage and began running around them in circles, barking and yipping, adding to the hilarity of the moment.

Lapis was laughing so hard, tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes. " _No_! Stop! _Please_!" The warrior gem didn't relent and Lapis writhed even harder, almost screaming as she futility batted at Jasper's hands. "Jasper, _please_! "

The last shout had an edge of breathless desperation that let the warrior gem know she should stop before the playful teasing became too uncomfortable. She stilled her fingers, but didn't remove her hands. Lapis immediately sagged to the floor, gasping as she fought to regain her breath between involuntary giggles. The warrior gem's laughter faded as she took in the slender gem's tousled appearance; eyes closed and cheeks bright, hair fluffed out on the floor beneath her as she gasped. She found herself unable to look away from her, feeling strangely breathless herself A hunger flared to life in her chest and Jasper was almost overcome with the sudden urge to do something she'd never even thought of before; She wanted to kiss Lapis.

It was new and frightening, but it felt very right as the hunger blended with the overwhelming love she felt for the beautiful gem beneath her. Lapis blinked open her eyes and the warrior gem almost gasped as their gazes met. Laughter and affection sparkled dazzlingly in her dark eyes and the radiant smile she sent up at Jasper, left the warrior gem feeling oddly as if she'd been struck between the eyes. Her heart felt like it was about to burst.

Lapis laughed breathlessly and lifted one hand to push against the stunned warrior gem's shoulder. "Are you going to let me up?" She whispered.

Jasper pushed away the new and frightening urge and tightened her hands in Lapis' sides again, delighting in the giggling gasp the action received. "Have we learned our lesson?" She growled the question as Lapis writhed slightly.

"Yes!" Lapis cried, eyes squeezing shut again. "Please don't tickle me anymore! I'll be good! I promise!" She was still giggling as she tried vainly to wiggle away from Jasper's grip.

Jasper laughed at the reaction and relented. She used her grip on Lapis' side to pull the breathless gem into a sitting position as she shifted off of her. Lapis let herself be sat up and leaned bonelessly into her as the warrior gem drew her into her lap for a hug. After one more yip, Pumpkin climbed into their laps, wriggling happily as she tried to squeeze between them. Jasper chuckled as she was forced to loosen her grip on the slender gem to accommodate the affectionate creature.

It was only then that she noticed Steven and Amethyst peeking in the doorway. Both were smiling hugely. She winced, trying not to tense. How long had they been watching? She begged them with her eyes to stay silent. Lapis would be absolutely mortified if she knew they'd been seen playing again. She desperately waved them off, using Pumpkin's wriggling to disguise the motion. Steven looked abashed and quickly ducked back. Amethyst winked at her as the boy pulled her away. She sighed in relief and hugged Lapis tighter for a moment, inadvertently squeezing Pumpkin between them. The orange creature yelped and began trying to struggle away.

"Sorry!" Jasper cried, loosening her arms so that the orange creature could free herself. As soon as her stumpy legs hit the floor, Pumpkin turned and hissed at her before scampering away.

"She sure told you." Lapis laughed.

Jasper ducked her head, feeling guilty for almost hurting the orange creature. "My bad."

"Don't worry, Jasper. She's fine. She's just dramatic."

The warrior gem took solace in the reassurance and smiled at the last statement. "Well, she _was_ raised by _you_ after all." She joked.

Lapis gasped in mock affront and reached up to smack her shoulder. "Hey!" She cried.

Jasper laughed and gently cradled the indignant gem so she could stand up. She set Lapis on her feet and winked at her. Lapis frowned, but the warrior gem could see the laughter still dancing in her eyes winning out. She sent Lapis a big grin, helping the laughter along and was rewarded with a giggle. Then, her heart sank. Jasper wanted to keep playing, but she knew that Steven and the Crystal Gems were waiting on her. She sighed heavily and saw the laughter in Lapis' eyes fade.

"You have to go now." She stated softly.

"Yeah. They're waiting on me." Jasper mumbled. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She tried to make it sound cheerful, but it was too forced to sound genuine.

Lapis surprised her by stepping forward to hug her. "Be safe." She whispered.

Jasper hugged her back, breathing in her scent like she could carry it with her like a talisman of luck. "I will. I promise." She whispered back.

She slowly pulled away from the hug, feeling like she was fighting gravity as she did so. She didn't want to go. Still, she knew that she had to and tried her best to push away the sadness, wanting to at least leave Lapis with a smile. She knew it was a weak one, but the effort was worth it when Lapis smiled back, gratitude warring with her own sadness. The reluctant warrior gem swallowed a sudden lump in her throat and forced herself to turn and walk away, knowing that the longer she stood there, the harder it would be to go. Even with her resolve hardened, she couldn't help but to linger in the doorway. She felt her eyes drawn back around. Lapis was standing where she'd left her. The worry in her eyes broke Jasper's heart. She had blink rapidly a few times to fight the tears that suddenly burned at the corners of her eyes.

"I'll be back." She made the words a promise.

"I'll be waiting." Lapis whispered back.

Jasper suddenly remembered a similar exchange from long ago between Garnet and Pearl. She hadn't understood it then. Now, she did. Just like Garnet had reluctantly left Steven and Pearl that night, she now had to leave Lapis. Garnet had come back to them and she would come back to Lapis. She felt a confidence in the thought and was finally able to give Lapis a true smile. The slender gem blinked, surprised, before beaming back at her. Jasper waved and stepped outside, shutting the door with a soft, decisive click.

It was time for her to get to work. The sooner she was done with her tasks, the sooner she could return. That thought gave her the strength to turn away from the closed door.

She was immediately greeted by giant smiles from Steven and Amethyst. To her utter shock and surprise, Garnet, Pearl and Peridot stood near them. Garnet was smiling hugely too and Pearl was staring at Jasper with something akin to amazement. Peridot was frowning and looking pointedly at the ground, blushing hotly. As Jasper stood there, unable to do anything but stare, Garnet slowly reached over and put her hand over Amethyst's mouth. Amethyst started slightly and crossed her arms, glaring at the fusion.

The action snapped Jasper from her shock. She felt an embarrassed blush take life on her cheeks and she cleared her throat. "Ready to go?" She asked them, trying to hide her discomfort.

"Let's." Garnet answered softly.

Peridot immediately began walking and the rest of them followed suit a moment later. Steven elected to walk near her. He was wearing some sort of strangely shaped backpack that rattled softly as he walked. He smiled up at her, practically bouncing with excitement. "I'm so glad you're coming with us, Jasper! It's your first mission all over again!" He cheered.

The warrior gem smiled down at him. Though she was still sad that she'd had to leave Lapis, seeing Steven so unabashedly pleased at her presence made her feel a margin better. "Just like old times." She looked up at Garnet. "So what's the plan?"

Instead, it was Peridot who answered. "First and foremost, plant the transmitters at all of the warp destinations." She stated firmly. Her tone was boastful as she continued. "We've managed to isolate a few of the human satellites in nearby space and tap into their networking data. It wasn't easy, but we've connected them into a private network that we can utilize for our own purposes. The data we'll be sending through them shouldn't disrupt any of their normal functions and will give us a much broader range of transfer than we could ever achieve from the ground. In such, with all of the warps covered and a few receivers placed at strategic locations around the planet we can effectively and efficiently monitor the entirety of Earth for the specific transmissions we're targeting at any given point in time."

"We've also made sure to equip each transmitter and receiver with its own solar panel power supply." Pearl chimed in. "We'll have to calibrate them on the fly, but we've put certain prerequisites in place to make that process a little more efficient. We will still have to work out the the most ideal location we can find at each of our destinations, but once they're each placed and calibrated, we simply connect them to the network and viola!" She cheered.

"Exactly!" Peridot cheered with her. "And we've programmed them to be able to simultaneously record, packet and send up to ten seconds of data at a time. They'll only have really enough computing power to send simple measurements of the strength recorded by the receivers within their range, but by comparing the measurements of each our receivers in any given area we can, barring any unforeseen circumstances, more easily determine the possible origin of the transmissions we're trying to track."

"We will have to do a few tests to isolate and eliminate possible interference from benign human transmissions, but-"

Jasper shook her head and attempted to tune the two gems out as they continued to go back and forth about systems and data as they reached the warp. She had barely understood any of what had just been said. She turned to Steven, Amethyst and Garnet. "So... what's the plan again?" She asked, not trying to hide her utter confusion.

Amethyst smirked. "Allow me to translate the geek speak for you." She walked over to a pile of reinforced bags Jasper only just then noticed beside the warp and reached into one. "Basically. We take these-" She turned and presented a strange device that seemed to be made of several small machines all spliced together. "-and stick them where they tell us to and then be bored while they geek." She sighed.

Steven made a horrified sound under his breath. "Is that … my blender?!" He cried.

Peridot left off her conversation with Pearl and looked over. "Indeed, it is! I was surprisingly able upgrade and convert it quite easily for such a simple device."

"I didn't even get to use it." He whimpered. "I was going to make smoothies..." He trailed off, looking devastated.

Peridot quirked an eyebrow at him. "I can assure you, Steven, that its new function is much more important than _smoothies_." She said the word as if she didn't know exactly what it meant, but that its meaning was unimportant to her.

"Oh, Blender." He reached for the device and Amethyst handed it over, looking highly amused. Steven cradled it, tears springing to his eyes. "I'll never forget the memories we were going to have together." He whispered to it.

Peridot rolled her eyes. "If you're quite done, we have a lot of ground to cover."

Garnet nodded. "She's right. The sooner these are in place, the sooner we can get to the bottom of this mystery."

Steven took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Can Blender go first? I think a clean break is what we need to get over this."

Pearl stepped closer to him and patted his head. "Whatever you'd like, Steven."

"Let's load up, gems." Garnet ordered.

"Just be careful!" Peridot cautioned. "We don't want to risk damaging any of them in transport."

Amethyst reached for a bag and slung its strap over her shoulder with exaggerated care. Jasper stepped forward and grasped one of the largest ones for herself. Each of the others, besides Steven who was still reverently cradling the device, grabbed one as well and they filed onto the warp pad. Jasper suddenly got the feeling that today was going to be quite the adventure. Though she already missed Lapis, she found herself looking forward to the prospect of seeing new things. She was sure that the slender gem would enjoy hearing about everything she'd seen on her return. She looked towards the barn in the distance one last time before Garnet activated the warp and sent them streaming through warp space towards their first destination.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANKS FOR READING!**

 **We are finally getting close to finding the source of all of our mysterious happenings! Or are we? XD**

 **Well, loves, I have to say that my claim of near recovery was VASTLY premature. This week has been absolutely hecking heck. I'm muscling through it, but ugh, even finding the energy to write has been difficult. Still though, as it has been for the entire time I've been writing, this story has been a balm to my tired soul. I'm sorry if I've been slow to replying to messages or have been effectively radio silent, but I have been very distracted.**

 **On top of my recovery and scrambling to catch up on my work, the two stray dogs I and my roommates somehow acquired upon moving have graced us with a tiny army of rambunctious and adorable little floofs that I, in my weakened state cannot keep up with or wrangle. They were actually born some time ago and are now at the age where they can run and get into absolutely ANYTHING their little teefies can reach. I was away while I recovered, and they were very tiny before I left. I didn't want to say anything until I'd officially met them as pupping pups instead of squirming little woofer beans.**

 **Even before I 'met' them, though, I was sent pics of them growing and was trying to help my roommates find them homes. The mothers were pregnant when we started feeding them, so we expected the pups, but we were NOT expecting such large litters at all and are a little overwhelmed. We were unable to rehome the pregnant mommas, though we did, and will continue to, try. And despite our rehoming efforts for the pups, it looks as if we will have them for awhile yet too.**

 **If we can afford it, my roommates and I have decided to keep two of the new pups ourselves. We really never expected to have dogs or cats of our own, but my little tom Spook stole my heart and now these two pups have stolen all of ours as well. We are doing our best to try to accommodate them into our eccentric little family.**

 **One pup has a bad eye, so we are leery about giving him to anyone else. One of my roommates named him Olaf after the Elder Scrolls character. (lol) The other absolutely stole my breath the first time I officially got to meet her. She was apparently very skittish, but decided almost instantly that I was hers and hers alone; I'm very inclined to agree with her. Despite her skittishness, she is a tough little scrap and her name is now Jasper or Jazz/Jazzie for short. (Squee!)**

 **Also, our inherited momma cat that we have also been unable to rehome, (the one that gave birth to the adorable little Spook that I decided to adopt) has graced us with a small litter of little floofs too. They are very healthy and growing like little ninja weeds.**

 **None of the mother animals were ours, but now we find ourselves caring for many, many hungry little mouths, because we simply couldn't leave those poor mommas to fend for themselves. In deciding to care for them, the little ones are now our responsibility as well. Very overwhelming. Not that I am complaining though, because seeing all of these little fuzzies and getting clawed and nipped by teeny little floofs is legitimately the best thing in the entire WORLD! If I could lie there and play with them for the rest of my life I would never have enough of their cute.**

 **But, even if I love it, it is quite the predicament. We are trying to find a veterinary clinic that will help us get these animals fixed and also trying get in contact with a shelter to help find them good homes as soon as possible. Unfortunately, in our area, there isn't really a network in place for this sort of thing, which is probably why the pregnant mothers were wandering wild in the first place. I assure you though, we are doing our very best to be responsible with these little lives that have become dependent on us.**

 **SO much to think about! But enough with my selfish blathering! Thank you guys so much for your continued support! I love hearing from all of you and, even if I don't hear from you, please know you are more than welcome! The more the merrier as we continue on. This journey is for all of us together and I am so very glad you're here. We still have a ways to go, so stay tuned! That's all I have for now!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 35**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: Thank you all SO much for your support!**

 **HERE IS OUR 100th REVIEW SPECIAL!**

 **I LOVE YOU GUYS! I am BEYOND stoked, but I won't keep you here! We shall talk at the end!**

 **Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"A little to the left, Amethyst!" Peridot yelled from far below them. Her shrill voice was almost lost to the howling wind that buffeted around the two quartz.

Amethyst's nearby groan of frustration was easy enough to hear and Jasper smirked up at her. The purple quartz futilely shook snow from her hair and tilted the device sideways with a jerk. "There!"

Immediately, Jasper heard high pitched cries of dismay from below. "No! Your other left!"

Amethyst's low shout of frustration made the warrior gem chuckle softly to herself. She and the Crystal Gems had been so very many places today that her head was reeling. This part of their task, though, had become all too familiar already. While Garnet and Steven guarded Peridot and Pearl and assisted them with the receivers, she and Amethyst had been tasked with placing the transmitting devices and their power supplies at the highest points at all of their locations; which at this location, just so happened to be a barely sheltered valley near the peak of a small grouping of snowy mountains. Since Amethyst was more agile than the warrior gem, she had volunteered to actually place the devices, while Jasper tasked herself with finding the most stable place for the power supplies for them. It had seemed easy enough at first, but Pearl and Peridot's constant micromanaging orders had driven Amethyst into a smoldering rage that amused Jasper to no end.

She finished setting up the power supply, making sure it was anchored by a few frozen rocks against the wind, and stood to face the precarious peak that Amethyst was clinging to. The purple quartz had her face buried in the snow that had gathered in a crevasse in the craggy stone. Her lower half was still dangling over the edge, only one foot in a decent foothold. The other was dangling and both of her hands were slowly tilting the transmitter in all directions as Pearl and Peridot continued to call out from below. The warrior gem was certain that she heard the purple quartz screaming into the snow.

"Amethyst, stop!" Peridot cried.

The purple quartz let go of the device and lifted her head. "Finally!" She let herself tumble down the steep rise to land face first near Jasper with a groan.

Jasper laughed aloud, before a tingle started buzzing in her mind. Her heart began to pound as she heard Pearl call out. "We're getting a reading!"

The warrior gem swallowed as bile rose in her throat. Amethyst's head jerked up and Jasper saw her worried expression a moment before the world exploded red around her. She stumbled and fell to her knees, grasping her head with a shout of denial as rage roared to life inside her mind. In a crazy thought, she almost expected the snow around her to begin to melt as she burned from the inside out.

"Jazz?" The warrior gem barely recognized Amethyst's voice over the pounding of blood rushing through her ears.

She cried out, digging her fingers into her hair as the urge to destroy overwhelmed almost any other thought. She hunched over herself, wanting to bury her blazing gem in the snow as it flared; wanting to do anything to stop the rage bubbling in her veins before she hurt Amethyst like she had Peridot. Panic fed the rage until there was almost nothing left in her mind. A sound crunched over snow and stone. A footstep? Even with the frigid wind still howling around her, that one soft sound seemed magnified in her ears. She felt dread shoot to her heart as a part of her knew for certain that that sound had not been made by Amethyst. Her panic faded as the rage took on that keen, deadly sharpness she only had the haziest of memories of. She uncurled her body and stood upright, turning to face the source of that sound with a snarl of challenge.

There was nothing there. The valley was void of anything but stone and ice and snow. Still, she scanned the windswept frozen stone and ice capped rocks, looking for anything that would explain the sound. The rage refused to believe what her eyes were telling her. Every honed instinct told her that an enemy lurked there. But where?

She snarled again as she felt something approach her from behind. Spinning, she roared. Through the swimming auras of red, she recognized Amethyst. The rage pulsed and she only barely resisted the urge to lash out. In her peripheral, she saw Pearl and Garnet leap onto the mountaintop nearby. Their sudden appearance triggered another flare of rage and the urge to destroy grew stronger. She stumbled backward, hands once again coming up to grasp her head. She squeezed her temples in a futile attempt to crush the urge from her skull.

Another pulse and the world swam again, ripping a scream from her chest. She heard the Crystal Gems start to approach her. " _No_!" She choked out, doing her best to warn them off before she lost control. _"Get back!_ "

Another small crunch sounded behind her and she spun with a snarl. This threat was real and she welcomed the focal point for her rage. Still, she saw nothing, but as her instincts screamed to either run or fight, she knew there was only one true option. She jerked her head, materializing her helmet and lowered herself into a fighting crouch.

"Is she alright?" She heard Pearl whisper.

"I don't know? She just... reacted!" Amethyst snapped.

"What is she looking at?" Pearl asked, sounding scared.

"We don't know." Garnet growled. "But it isn't good. Be ready."

She hissed at them to be quiet as another pulse roared through her mind. Then, suddenly, the rage faded in a rush, leaving her light headed and gasping. Against her will, her body relaxed and only a sharp thought kept her helmet where it was. Even with the rage mysteriously gone, the threat, whatever it was, remained.

"You okay, Jazz?" Amethyst murmured.

"There's something there." She growled.

"What is it?" Pearl hissed in a frantic whisper.

"I don't-" The tingle began in her mind, stealing her words. "It's happening again!" She barely had time to shout, before the world swam in crimson streams.

She stumbled, but refused to let her hazy eyes stop scanning the frozen valley. Something moved, a tiny twitch, but her red tinted vision focused almost at once. A grouping of stones lie around a large boulder. Was something hiding behind the frozen stones? Her instincts were screaming inside her head, urging her to charge forward and face the unseen threat head on. She fought the urge, grinding her teeth as another pulse roared inside her. She found that focusing on the stones made the rage somehow easier to control. She didn't question the small blessing. Cautiously, she took a step forward. When nothing happened, she took another and another, lowering further as she crept closer. As she was almost upon the grouping of stones, she heard the others begin to approach behind her.

Alarm bells triggered in her mind. The rage sizzled and flared. Something was happening. She opened her mouth to warn them off. Before she could utter a sound, the unseen threat made itself known. The stones began to tremble, a rumbling sound rising above the howling wind. One rocked against the icy snow, creating the crunching sound she'd heard before. Panic flared beside the rage and she leapt back. She heard the The Crystal Gems gasp from behind her as the stones unfurled and a creature rose, higher and higher, until it towered above them. She gaped as she took in its- no her- form; her, for she was a corrupted gem.

Each of the smaller rocks, six of them, were the corrupted gem's feet. Her spindly legs were the white of snow and her knees rose high above the ovular boulder that made up her body. The way the legs held the dipping boulder between them, reminded Jasper eerily of a spider; referring the terrifying corrupted gem to the whimsical name 'air weaver' was impossible. Two glowing yellow eyes blinked open, where there had seemed to be nothing but rough, seamless stone before. A protrusion in the rock split in two, revealing itself to be two jagged mandibles. They clacked together, stone against stone, and a disproportionately small mouth opened behind them, revealing row after row of tiny, glistening needle sharp teeth.

Her shock gave way to a pulse of rage and the corrupted gem trembled. Now, the rage had a clear target and Jasper could not suppress the urge to fight any longer. She leap forward with a roar. The corrupted gem made no sound, but charged forward to meet her in a flash. The warrior gem had not expected her great speed and found herself sailing helplessly into her opponent's attack. The spider's mandibles crunched around the the warrior gem's helmet, bringing her to a painful stop and leaving her dangling in the air. She twisted her body, trying to free herself, stone cutting into her fingers as she brought her hands up to try and pry the mandibles apart. Only her helmet kept her skull from being crushed as the corrupted gem tightened her grip. She cried out as the pressure on her head increased painfully. She snarled, glaring up into the spider's hazy yellow eyes. Those eyes narrowed to slits and her body jerked, mouth opening as it attempted to bite her face.

As those needle sharp teeth clicked together a hair's breath away from her gem, Jasper felt crippling panic flare to life in her chest. An inch more and she would have been shattered. She slapped her hands against the spider's belly trying to twist her face away as those teeth clicked together again a hair's breadth from the terrified Jasper's gem. Her muscled arms bulged as attempted futilely to free herself. The corrupted gem's mandibles crunched on her helmet so hard, she thought the weapon might shatter itself from the force. If that happened, her head would be crushed, her gem really would be shattered, and she would be no more.

Her promise to Lapis would be broken. The thought sent another flare of panic through her. She could not afford to fail.

Rage once again drowned out the panic as a pulse of crimson roared through her. Her urge to get away faded with the fear and there was nothing left but the will to fight. Using the spider's grip on her helmet like a pivot, she swung her legs up and delivered a powerful kick to her dipping abdomen. At that moment, Garnet appeared out of nowhere, sailing through the air to deliver a mighty punch to the top of the spider's body. The corrupted gem's breath coughed from her with the crushing double blow. She released Jasper's helmet as she stumbled, spindly legs scrabbling for purchase on the frozen stone. The warrior gem landed hard on her back, but rolled to her feet a moment later.

As she stood, facing the reeling spider, Pearl charged into view with a shout, slicing at one of the scrabbling legs. Blueish blood arched as a slice opened wide. Amethyst's whip snapped through the air, coiling around another leg. The purple quartz jerked her whip taught with a cry just as Pearl sliced open another and the corrupted gem fell to her side with a thundering crash that shook the mountaintop around them. The entire time, it hadn't uttered a sound.

"Where's its gem?!" Amethyst cried.

"I don't see it!" Pearl cried back.

Garnet leapt up onto the trembling corruption's abdomen. She cast around, looking for the spider's gemstone. The warrior gem's still red tinted vision swam dizzingly as a pulse stronger than any other roared through the air. Suddenly, she was blind, deaf; adrift in a sea of crimson. Her chest seized and for a terrifying moment, she was drowning in that sea of rage.

"Look out!" A voice cut through the pounding in her head.

It was then that Jasper heard a loud rumbling. She blinked furiously, clearing her eyes with just enough time to see Garnet leap from the rising abdomen of the twitching corruption. The spider launched herself from the ground in an astounding leap. As she flew through the air, the stone of her abdomen split open, revealing a segmented body of white within. The pointed end of the segmented flesh swung towards them and a thick stream of glowing white threads shot through the air. The valley was covered instantly, trapping her and the Crystal Gems in their tresses. Those wispy threads proved to be much more substantial than they looked. The crushing weight of the them forced her to the ground. They were ice cold and sticky and she heard the others cry out as she fought to free herself. She was trapped. Twisting her head, she saw the Crystal Gems trying futilely to free themselves as well. The corruption landed before all of them, the stony boulder of her abdomen seamless once more. Her stony feet met the frozen stone of the valley with a deafening boom that made the mountain around them tremble and groan with the force. All around them, ice and stone shook itself free and rolled and slid down the mountainside around them. Distant screams could be heard over the roaring and crashing of the shifting debris.

"Steven!" The Crystal Gems cried together.

It was only them that Jasper remembered through the terror filled rage still pulsing through her that he and Peridot had been with them. Tons of rock and ice were hurtling down the mountainside towards them and she and the Crystal Gems were trapped with no way to go to their aide. The corrupted gem moved, drawing her attention back to their own terrifying situation. The spider stomped toward Pearl, who was the closest, stony feet grinding over stony ground, adding to the deafening sounds of destruction around them. Another layer of fear was added to the panic in Jasper's mind.

The pale gem could do nothing to free herself as one of those stony feet loomed over her. In an act of desperation, she materialized another spear and raised the pointed end up in an attempt to fend it off. The warrior gem knew it was futile. The blade would not pierce the stone.

"Pearl!" Amethyst cried.

" _No_!" Garnet shouted, desperately renewing her efforts to break free, her face a frantic mask of utter terror and despair.

Pearl let out a terrified shriek as that foot came down on top her. A poof of smoke puffed up, dispersed almost immediately by the howling wind. Her gemstone clinked to the ground, rolling to a stop among the heavy, icy threads.

As the corruption's foot rose again, Jasper knew what would happen. She cried out in denial and heard similar desperate shouts from Garnet and Amethyst. None of them could do a thing but watch horrified as that stony foot came down.

In a blur of speed, a large, pale green hand came from nowhere, catching that foot and stopping its decent. The hand lifted upwards, unbalancing the corruption and sending her rolling backwards in a bundle of spindly legs. Jasper lay stunned as the form attached to that hand stepped forward. Her skin was a pale green, nearly white and her yellow hair fluffed in a burst of unruly curls atop her head. She was tall and slender, bare feet steady in the snow as she faced the corruption. Her four slender hands were fisted at her sides. A triangular green gem blazed on her forehead above four eyes covered by a silvery visor. Her white and starry shirt, which stopped just above the waistband of her form fitting white and yellow pants, drifted in the wind, revealing another gem, this one round and pink.

Jasper gaped shock almost blasting the forced rage entirely from her mind. Their savior was a fusion! And those gems! She could only be...

"It can't be!" Amethyst gasped.

The fusion smirked over at the purple quartz, winking with one side of her doubled eyes. "Oh, but it can!" She cheered, her voice mellow and happy sounding. "Adventurine to the rescue!" She raised one arm in a cheerful salute. The spider was struggling to rise and the grinding sound drew Adventurine's gaze back to her opponent. "Allow me to dazzle you with my prowess." She declared.

Two of her arms came up above her and the others reached out before her. Stone trembled around them. She tightened her hands into fists and few small boulders and many smaller stones came soaring from all directions to float in the air around her. With a mighty shout, she thrust her hands forward and sent the stones hurtling towards the struggling corruption. There was no escaping the resulting barrage. One after another the stones rained down on the spider, sending her tumbling again over the frozen stone floor of the valley.

"A body in motion, stays in motion!" Adventurine cried, stepping after the rolling corruption.

While her upper hands stayed steady, palms out towards the tumbling spider, the others began to weave in the air in front of her, directing the flying stones to bounce again and again against the corruption's stony hide in a coordinated pattern of devastating blows that kept her body rolling end over end. The helpless spider crashed into the icy stone wall of the valley with a deafening crash.

Adventurine smirked and lowered her hands. The flying stones dropped from the air all at once. For a moment, there was nothing but the howling wind. Then the corruption twitched and Adventurine raised all four hands high above her palms out towards the valley wall. The icy stone began to shake and tremble, rock groaning as cracks split the sheer rock, sending cascades of icy dust and snow to rain down on the twitching spider.

"And the bigger they are, the harder they _fall_!" She shouted, closing her hands into fists and jerking them downward.

A deafening crack split the air, before the entire stony wall collapsed in a roaring crash of frozen rock and icy snow. As the dust was blown away by the wind, a huge pile of jagged rock was revealed where the corruption had lain. Only one single stony foot lay exposed. An odd, white glint shone from the side of it. Even from her still prone position, Jasper recognized it as a gemstone. It was hexagonal in shape and wisps of grey swirled its mottled surface.

Adventurine had seen it too and quickly came over to pluck it free. "I'll take that!"

A poof of smoke billowed from between the stones as they shifted, collapsing slightly without the body of the corruption underneath them. As they stilled, the tingling buzz of rage that still hummed in Jasper's mind finally fizzled out and her vision was clear once more. She relaxed into the stone with a wave of relief, letting her helmet dissipate with a sigh. It was over.

Adventurine smiled as she straightened and a pale green bubble formed around the mottled gem she held. She turned back to them and gave them a sweeping bow, holding the bubble above her head with a dramatic flare. "Thank you, thank you! You may hold your applause!" She cried.

"Yeah! Woo! Great job!" Amethyst cheered with sarcastic enthusiasm. "Now can you let us up? There's a rock in my butt!" She wiggled slightly and winced.

"No problem!" Adventurine grinned. She walked over and grasped the heavy threads holding the purple quartz down, gently peeling them from her prone form.

Amethyst immediately rolled over and grasped her rear with a relieved sigh. "So much better." She groaned.

Adventurine chuckled and ripped the threads in half so that they wouldn't pin Amethyst again and then did the same for Garnet. Garnet nodded in thanks and darted to Pearl's gem the moment she gained her feet. She cradled the gem to her chest with a grim expression. Adventurine watched her, a tender look in her eyes, before stepping through the threads to free Jasper.

"Thanks." Jasper rasped as she rose.

The fusion smiled. "You're welcome." She waved at them all. "See you next time!"

Her gems glowed and her form wavered, becoming insubstantial light for a moment, before splitting in half. Steven and Peridot fell to the ground, both looking stunned and pleased. They sat up at the same time and beamed at each other. "We fused!" They cried together.

"You did, indeed." Garnet smiled at the both of them through her sadness. "And just in time too."

Steven's grin faded as he took in her expression. "Is Pearl okay?" He asked, worry deepening his tone.

Garnet sighed and looked back at the gem in her hands. "She will be. Thanks to Adventurine." She smiled back up at them again. "Let's take her home. We can finish setting up the network another day."

Peridot suddenly cried out in dismay. "We didn't grab the rest of transmitters when we escaped! They're probably all destroyed!"

Steven stood and held out a hand to the pouting green gem. "I'm sorry, Peridot." He murmured.

She sighed, then smiled up at him before taking his hand. "Ej, we can rebuild them. Having everyone safe is more important than some lousy transmitters anyway." She said lightly as she rose.

"Agreed." Amethyst called as she rose to her feet. She walked over to Steven and Peridot and put a hand on each of their shoulders. "Thanks, by the way. You guys seriously kicked some major gem butt!" She cheered.

That made Steven and Peridot smile again, lingering sadness dissipating as they hugged her. The purple quartz' expression was tender as she hugged them back and Jasper knew Amethyst had done it on purpose. She glanced at Garnet to find the fusion smiling softly at the three, thumb gently caressing Pearl's gemstone. She suddenly missed Lapis with an almost painful intensity. Steven pulled away from the hug and yawned hugely, shivering slightly even through his extra clothing. Jasper knew how he felt. She was exhausted too. All she wanted was to go home, hug Lapis and sleep with the slender gem in her arms. First though, she would make sure the others got home before she returned. Somehow, she knew that Lapis would like that and the warrior gem knew she'd sleep more soundly knowing that they were all safe.

She walked over to Steven, smiling down at him, before reaching down and lifting the tired boy onto her shoulders. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her head, squeezing it in a hug. "Thanks, Jasper."

She grinned and reached out a fist towards Peridot. The green gem blinked up at her, surprised, before grinning herself and bumping the warrior gem's fist with her own. Amethyst beamed up at her before shifting into a copy of the warrior gem. Jasper blinked, quirking an eyebrow at the purple quartz, wondering why she had suddenly chosen to mimic her. With a smirk, the purple quartz leaned down and picked up a very surprised Peridot. She placed the green gem astride her shoulders, answering the warrior gem's unasked question.

"The mighty victors go home in style!" She cheered. Peridot blushed hotly, but the warrior gem could see her fighting a smile.

Garnet came to join them, reaching up to ruffle Steven's hair. He chuckled before blinking sadly down at the gem in her other hand. She lifted it to him and he kissed it softly. They shared another affectionate smile and Garnet closed her fingers over the gem in a firm grip. Pearl might have lost her form, but Jasper knew she could not be anywhere safer than in Garnet's powerful grasp. As one, they all turned and leapt from the mountainside towards the warp pad. Soaring through the air with the others at her side, victorious and happy, Jasper knew that she'd remember this crazy, terrifying, exhilarating day for a long time to come.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **Thank you guys so much for your support. 100 reviews might seem like old hat to some of you more distinguished authors and I've seen plenty with way more, so I don't mean to brag, but holy crapola am I stoked! Thanks so much for making my weekend!**

 **I've been contemplating Adventurine as my personal Steven/Peridot fusion for awhile, but I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to include her in this story until I got to this scene in my head a little while ago. It seemed like the best time to introduce her, so I went with it! Hope you enjoyed!**

 **Again, I want to say thank you for your support. It's been sort of an emotional few days -weeks- so it really does mean a lot to me. You guys are the best! I'm glad you're all here and I hope that we can continue this wonderful journey together until the very end.**

 **To quote the late, great Professor Dumbledore in the _Prisoner of Azkaban_ (and, of course, the amazingly awesome J.K. Rowling) - "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 36**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: Thank you so much for your support!**

 **Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

When they appeared on the warp inside the beach house, Jasper was overcome with nostalgia. She hadn't realized how much she had missed the actual house until that moment. She could smell the sea even from inside and longed to rush out to the beach to see it. Steven straightened and leaped down from her shoulders, distracting her from the sudden urge. After an enormous yawn, he darted up to his room and then into the bathroom carrying a ball of clothing and a few other items.

"Ten minutes!" He called from behind the door.

Peridot climbed down from Amethyst's shoulders and the purple quartz shifted back into her original from. "Anyone want a snack? I'm starving!" Amethyst cried, running towards the kitchen.

"Pass!" Peridot replied.

Amethyst was already digging around in the refrigerator for something to eat and didn't reply. Peridot followed the purple quartz anyway and climbed into a tall chair to sit at the island. She pulled her tablet from the small bag around her waist and began to type something on it. Garnet walked past them and started towards Steven's room. As she reached the steps, a small, furry blur ran past her. Cat-Steven ran right to Jasper's boots and began to purr.

"Well, hello there!" She greeted happily. She knelt on the pad and reached out to the furry creature. Cat-Steven butted her head against the warrior gem's fingers, purring louder as Jasper began to stroke her. "I missed you, too." She said softly, delighting in the softness of her fur.

She was softer than Lion by a good margin and her purring was nowhere near the thundering base of the pink beast, but the way she responded to the warrior gem's affections reminded her of him. It still amazed her how much they truly resembled each other despite their difference in size. Earth's creatures were hugely diverse. She'd gotten t see a lot more of them today, but she had a feeling that she hadn't seen even a fraction of the many creatures Earth had to offer.

A few minutes later, Steven emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam. His skin was pink and he looked happy, but very tired. "So much better." He sighed happily.

"I've got your bed ready, Steven." Garnet called from above.

He smiled up at her and started to his room. "Thanks, Garnet." He yawned.

On a whim, Jasper gave Cat-Steven one last scratch and then stood. She darted to Steven and picked him up, tossing him into the air and catching him in her arms. He let out a delighted cry and giggled as she carried him up to his room. She was smiling hugely and Garnet returned the big smile as she gently deposited him in his bed.

"Thanks, Jasper." He mumbled sleepily, rubbing at his eyes. "It was really nice getting to hang out with you today. I'm sorry that I'm sleepy."

"It was a big day. Don't apologize for being sleepy, Little Rose. I know I won't." She reached down and ruffled his hair, drawing another small laugh from him.

He sat up on his elbows. "I still feel like we should do something one day. Not a mission, but something. Like when you came with me to get donuts and meet Sadie and the band."

She smiled as she remembered that night. It seemed so very long ago. That had been the first time she'd experienced human music. She had enjoyed it then, but hadn't truly appreciated the complexities of the art until Lapis had shown her. Now, she knew she could enjoy it in a whole new way. The thought sparked another and she grinned.

"Speaking of music, remind me one day to ask you where I can get a violin."

His sleepy eyes lit up. "You want to learn to play the violin?" He sounded excited about the prospect.

She shook her head, grin growing at his small pout. "It's not for me." She exaggerated looking around as if she didn't want anyone to hear her next words, then she leaned close to him. "It's for Lapis." She whispered conspiratorially.

He laughed again, but it was broken by another big yawn. "I'll see what I can do." He whispered back.

"Thanks." She smirked. "Now go to bed." She reached out and pushed him over onto the mattress.

He fell back with an exaggerated 'oof'. Garnet chuckled and leaned over to tuck him in. "Good night, Steven." She whispered, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"Good night." He blinked sleepily. His eyes were only closed for a fraction of a second, before they shot open again. "Can Pearl sleep with me tonight?" He asked.

She grinned and produced a fluffy purple pillow from beside the bed. Pearl's gemstone was already nestled carefully on it. "I'm sure she'd love that." She whispered, lying the pillow beside his head on the mattress.

Jasper was a little surprised. She had thought that Garnet would keep Pearl with her until the pale gem reformed. Jasper knew that if Lapis somehow lost her form, she wouldn't let the slender gem leave her sight. The fusion had seemed very protective of the pale gem. Had she misread the affection between the two? She had thought that perhaps Garnet felt the same way towards Pearl as she herself now felt towards Lapis. It was strange thought, but her new feelings for Lapis had made her begin thinking in totally new ways. She still didn't fully understand love, but she wanted to.

Garnet looked up from Steven the moment the boy slipped fully into sleep. She sent Jasper a knowing smile, that made the warrior gem feel as if the fusion knew the direction her thoughts had turned. "Let's talk outside." The fusion murmured.

Jasper nodded and followed her down the steps and out the door. The warrior gem had all but forgotten where she was and couldn't stop the gasp that escaped as she saw the sea suddenly before her. The starlit expanse stole her breath and she felt her heart swell with happiness. The heavy clouds that had hung in the sky this morning at her home, had apparently hung here as well. They were beginning to dissipate, sending slivers of moonlight to glitter on the lapping waves as they drifted in the wind. A briny breeze gusted, caressing through her hair. She leaned into it, taking a deep breath of the long missed scent. It was invigorating and she had the sudden urge to run down across the sand and leap into the ocean's beckoning waves. Her heart twinged as she thought of how much she wanted Lapis to be here, enjoying this reunion with her. She remembered the promise they'd made to each other; that they'd come back to the sea together one day. She suddenly couldn't wait for that day to come.

She closed her eyes, letting the sound of the lapping waves and the briny scents overwhelm her for a moment, before blinking them open and focusing on Garnet. The fusion was smiling softly at her. "You had a question?" Garnet asked.

Jasper shifted uncomfortably, feeling a blush flare on her cheeks. "Not really a question, per say." She hedged.

Garnet chuckled. "We know." She took a deep breath and stepped over to the railing, looking out over the sea. "You want to know how I feel about Pearl." Her tone was whimsical, distant, and Jasper knew that Garnet was working up to something. She said nothing as she joined her at the railing. After a long moment, the fusion spoke. "Pearl is our dearest friend." She murmured. The words seemed to hold a heavy weight. "There is something you must understand, Jasper. Pearl and Ruby and Sapphire have known each other for a long time. A _very_ long time. She and Rose were there the first time they came together to be one." She looked down at her hands and the gemstones there. "We have shared so many things through the years. Things that could have destroyed everything and yet drew us all closer together. We've fought with her against impossible odds and traveled the expanse of this strange, wonderful planet with her and Rose at our side. I, and Ruby and Sapphire within me, care deeply for her. _But..._ Pearl's heart belonged wholly to Rose and Ruby and Sapphire's hearts beat within me as one. She is dear to me and me to her, but only ever as the best of friends." She sighed, smiling softly at the sky. "That is how it has always been and how it will always be." Her smile disappeared and she suddenly looked very sad. "Even after all of this time though, she remains a mystery. Sapphire has never looked within her, not fully, because Pearl has trusted us not to. It is a great trust that we do not wish to break. All we know is that Pearl has lost so very much. When Rose... left us, we thought that she would ever be the same. She is still not fully what she was when we met her, but we can see that she heals a little more every day. She still mourns Rose, but loving Steven, and all of us, helps her to fight her despair." Her hands balled into fists and she set her jaw. "I want to help her as much as I can until the cards of fate fully show the hand they have planned for her." Then her hands relaxed and her lips pulled once more into a smile. "But what we do know that she will one day be happy, if she can only stop fighting herself long enough to embrace the gift she has been given." Then she turned that soft smile to Jasper. "And so will you, once you stop fighting your feelings for a certain Lapis Lazuli." Her knowing tone was full of mirthful affection.

Jasper could only gape at her as the blush reignited her cheeks. "Wha-?" She sputtered, astonished. "But how d-?" And then she remembered the uncanny ability sapphires possessed. Garnet was grinning cheekily at her and Jasper found herself pouting at the fusion like she often did at Lapis. "Cheater." She muttered.

Garnet laughed loudly. "We didn't mean to look, but you _were_ rather obvious. To us anyway." She reassured immediately as Jasper's heart dropped like a stone.

"So much for me being able to keep a secret around you gems."

It went against an existence's worth of experiences to have her feelings so open to others. Showing herself to Lapis was different. Lapis had already seen inside her when their minds were one as Malachite. Having herself exposed to someone who had seen her deepest and darkest memories was different from sharing them with anyone else. She hadn't chosen to share the things she had shared with Lapis and neither had Lapis chosen to share with her, not in that sense. Neither of them had fused before Malachite and Lapis' desperate act had exposed them both more than they had ever wished to be exposed. After so much shared shame and anger and pain, hiding from Lapis now that they had somehow reconnected seemed almost wrong and Lapis seemed to feel the same way. But the others hadn't earned that privilege with Jasper and she instinctively recoiled from it.

Even if she had opened up to Steven, and a little to Amethyst, and even if she trusted Garnet, having first Amethyst and now Garnet reveal her deepest secret so casually... It rubbed her the wrong way. She felt exposed every time one of them did something like this. It was somehow less so, when Steven did it and the thought stopped her short. Steven was no different than Garnet and Amethyst. He was still a relative stranger to her. In fact, Garnet and Amethyst had much more in common with her than Steven ever could. So why did truly opening up to them scare her so very much? Amethyst had jokingly apologized for the phone prank and Jasper had forgiven her for it. The purple quartz hadn't brought up Jasper's secret at all since, not even in jest. Amethyst would keep her secret, she knew that now.

She also knew, somehow, that Garnet would keep her secret too. She had a feeling that there were many secrets hidden inside the fusion's head about things Jasper couldn't even _begin_ to fathom. And she _had_ pried into the Garnet's feelings first after all. Wasn't turn about fair play?

Garnet was looking at her with a pained expression. "We didn't mean to upset you, Jasper." The fusion's tone was genuine. "If you'd rather us not look, we can try not to."

Jasper shook her head, giving the fusion a rueful smile. "It's okay, Garnet." She said softly. Her sapphire probably hadn't even meant to pick up on her feelings and had probably glimpsed something that had given her enough clue. "I don't know much about sapphires but I know that they just know things. You're a fusion. You must be able to see even more than your sapphire would alone."

Garnet canted her head in a half-nod. "Sometimes. Sometimes not. The thing one must always remember about the future is that _nothing_ is ever certain. Smaller things are less subject to the greater rules of probability, but even then, the tiniest things can alter the winding paths of time in ways you could never imagine. Like today, for instance. I never saw Adventurine coming. Not even an inkling. The things I _did_ see were worse." Her face transformed into an echo of the mask of utter terror from before; just before Jasper had been sure that the corrupted spider was about to shatter Pearl. The fusion hugged herself and her body shuddered. "If only I could _unsee_ the futures that never came to pass." Her tone was so tortured and despairing that Jasper felt her own heart pang in sympathy for the fusion. The warrior gem had only ever seen Garnet's power as a gift before; now she could see that it was also a great curse. Garnet suddenly shook herself free of whatever images were playing in her mind's eye. She continued as if nothing had happened, and Jasper's mind scrambled to catch up with her words. "There are, however, events that have every probability of becoming the future even if they may be subject to change from unforeseen events. In weighing all of the possible paths, I can usually guess which futures are the most probable and which are likely never to come to their end. I just have to be open to the possibility of chance." Her eyebrows furrowed for a brief moment before she chuckled and began to massage her brow. "Ruby is getting a headache. I think a subject change is in order." She murmured affectionately.

Jasper's mind was spinning, but she chuckled too. "I think I can sympathize with her right now."

The fusion grinned. "We all have a cross to bear." The warrior gem didn't understand the phrase, but she could guess the meaning well enough. "But, it seems that instead of a subject change, our conversation is to be cut short. You have somewhere else you need to be right now. Just remember what I said about not fighting your feelings. We all deserve happiness, Jasper, no matter how much we think we don't deserve it." Her tone was firm, but soft.

Jasper quirked an eyebrow in confusion, but decided not to ask. She'd know what Garnet meant soon enough. Hopefully. A half-second passed before the door to the beach house swung open. She glanced over to see Peridot standing in the doorway. The green gem looked decidedly uncomfortable, but her stance suggested she was determined about something.

Jasper gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Hi, Peridot." She greeted lightly.

Peridot blinked at her, as if she'd been expecting a different sort of greeting. "Hi." Her voice all but squeaked. The green gem blushed hotly and cleared her throat. "Is it alright if I come with you back to the barn?" She asked tentatively. "Pumpkin is used to sleeping with me." She fidgeted and looked away.

Jasper fought a bigger smile. She knew that Pumpkin would be fine with her and Lapis, but Peridot seemed to miss the orange creature. There was something else in the green gem's eyes though, that gave her pause. She suddenly knew with certainty that retrieving Pumpkin was just an excuse. But an excuse for what? The last time Peridot had seemed to have something to hide, things hadn't gone well at all. It made her uneasy to think about it. She couldn't help but to glance at Garnet. The fusion gave her a subtle nod, and the sudden trepidation faded slightly.

"Of course." She answered Peridot, keeping her tone lightly neutral. "Do you want to go now?"

Peridot seemed relieved. "Yes please."

Jasper turned back to Garnet. "See you later, then?"

The fusion grinned. "That is a most probable future, yes." She chuckled.

The warrior gem laughed and gave the grinning fusion a wave. She glanced once more to the sea, committing the gorgeous sight of it once again to memory, before stepping towards the door. Peridot held it open for her and she ducked through. Amethyst stopped her rummaging and watched them suspiciously as they walked to the warp pad.

The green gem fidgeted under her gaze. "I'll be back in a little while." She called softly.

The purple quartz sent the green gem a look that the warrior gem couldn't interpret. Peridot seemed to understand, because her expression softened slightly. The green gem nodded and Amethyst sent her a gentle smile.

Then, Peridot looked up at Jasper. "I'm ready."

The warrior gem nodded and closed her eyes, letting her mind flow with the feelings of home. She felt her heart pounding with anticipation at the thought that she'd finally be able to hold Lapis again. It had been a long day in every sense of the word. She and Peridot were both silent as they slipped through warp space to land in the moonlit expanse of grass and soft hills. Jasper waited for Peridot to hop down from her warp, before she began walking eagerly towards her home. Only politeness restricted her to Peridot's stride. When they were a few yards away from the cheerily lit barn-turned-home, Pumpkin came rushing out through the open door, barking a happy greeting.

The orange creature didn't even pause at Jasper and instead tackled a surprised Peridot to the ground. The green gem began to giggle as Pumpkin began licking her. "Hey, girl!" She greeted, hugging the affectionate creature.

Jasper smiled back at them, but didn't linger. She could hear the sound of rushing water inside, and knew that Lapis was coming. She couldn't resist the urge to dart inside. She only got a few steps from the doorway when she saw Lapis flying towards her.

"Jasper!" She cried happily.

The warrior gem only had a moment to open her arms, before Lapis flew into her. The slender gem's arms wound around her neck and Jasper returned the hug instantly. The warrior gem felt a flood of happiness, spinning them around a few times. The action drew a delighted laugh from the gem in her arms and she let out a soft laugh of her own in response. Her pounding heart swelled as she breathed in the slender gem's familiar scent. Lapis pulled away after a moment, looking up at her with a happy smile. Her eyes sparkled like stars and Jasper was overcome with a sense of rightness. She was finally home. She returned that happy smile as she set Lapis on her feet, wanting to look at her fully. A thousand things flew through her mind, so many words she wanted to say, but all of them could wait a few moments longer. She reached up to cup Lapis' slender cheek, delighting in how the slender gem leaned into her touch. It had only been a day, but she felt like it had been so much longer.

"You're home." Lapis whispered.

Jasper suddenly wanted to be closer to her again and drew her into another hug. Lapis' hands snaked up around her shoulders again as she wrapped her arms around the slender gem. The warrior gem leaned towards her and Lapis came up on her toes, letting their foreheads touch. "I'm home." She whispered back, looking deeply into Lapis' sparkling eyes.

For a long moment, there was nothing but Jasper enjoying the sense of rightness that being here with Lapis brought her. Her heart pounded with the love she felt for Lapis and she reveled in it. Nothing meant more to her than this. Nothing.

Movement beside them broke the moment and Jasper turned her head to see Peridot standing in the doorway. The green gem's expression was one of shock. Jasper could see a profound sadness brewing in her eyes that both confused her and made her heart clench in sympathy. As Lapis followed Jasper's gaze, Peridot's face closed down, her sadness wiped away as if it had never been there. Lapis gasped sharply at the sight of her, tensing in Jasper's arms. Seeing her face drain of color, concerned Jasper deeply, but when Lapis pulled away from the embrace, the warrior gem let her go.

"Peridot!" She cried.

As Lapis spun to face her, Peridot stepped fully into their home. "Lapis." She greeted neutrally.

Though her face was now a blank mask, Jasper could see emotions swimming in Peridot's eyes. None of them made sense to her. As she reached them, the silence that had descended after their greeting seemed to grow heavy with something that Jasper couldn't interpret. Lapis' face had shut down too and the two gems regarded each other in that heavy silence. Their seemingly blank stares seemed to be saying something, but what, Jasper didn't know.

It suddenly occurred to her that this was the first time Peridot and Lapis had seen each other since their earlier disastrous reunion; when Peridot's accusations had sent her spiraling out of control. The warrior gem felt a surge of terror and stepped closer to Lapis almost before the thought to do so had fully formed. Her movement seemed to snap them free of a daze and Lapis shifted closer too, until they were almost touching. Seeing her move closer to Jasper, made something dark flash through Peridot's eyes, but again, the green gem shut down whatever emotion it was before it reached her expression. Jasper knew Lapis had seen it too, because the slender gem straightened her shoulders and set her jaw, eyes blazing at Peridot. Jasper felt her heart pounding in a much less pleasant way than before as the green gem seemed to gather herself for something.

Then, Jasper was stunned as Peridot seemed to transform before her eyes. The green gem relaxed, neutral mask crumbling to show the sadness she had tried to keep hidden. "I didn't come to fight, Lapis." She whispered.

Lapis trembled and then seemed to relax too. "Then don't." Her voice carried an earnestness and Jasper swore she saw the slender gem fighting tears.

The warrior gem suddenly felt like she was intruding on something private. Her heart still clenched with fear that this reunion would also go wrong, but the rest of her was hoping fervently that it wouldn't. Not for the first time, she wondered just how close Lapis and Peridot had been after Malachite was defeated. Seeing them now, staring at each other with such a profound sadness, she knew that they had to have been very close. Had the two of them been closer than she and Lapis were now? A spark of jealousy flared to life in her chest, but she squashed it down. This wasn't about her; this was about Peridot and Lapis.

Peridot blinked sadly up at Lapis. "Can we talk?" She asked, voice unsure and soft.

She didn't look at Jasper as she asked, but the warrior gem felt the sense that she was intruding grow stronger. She was still worried about this and the fact that Lapis and Peridot shared something so seemingly profound made her strangely sad. Again, she squashed another flare of jealousy.

"I'll go keep Pumpkin company." She said, trying to keep the sadness and worry from her tone.

Lapis reached out and grasped her arm before she could step away. Surprised, Jasper looked at her, but the slender gem was still focused on Peridot. "Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Jasper." Lapis said firmly. Her fingers tightened in the warrior gem's arm and she felt her heart swell at the knowledge that whatever Peridot felt, Lapis did not see her as an intruder.

The green gem smiled sadly, but didn't look upset at all. "That's fine. I need to talk to both of you actually."

That surprised Jasper again and she saw Lapis' eyes shoot wide with surprise too. Then, the slender gem's brows furrowed with confusion. "Okay." Lapis replied, her tone wavering with uncertainty.

Another silence descended. Jasper could see Lapis growing more tense with every moment that passed. She didn't like it. There were too many ways that this could go wrong. For all that Lapis had healed, she knew that the day she'd lost control still weighed heavily on her. Gently, she pulled her arm from Lapis' tightening grasp and took the slender gem's hand with one of her own. Lapis looked up at her and Jasper tried to bury the worry in her heart to send her a reassuring smile. Whatever happened, she needed Lapis to know that she was here, ready to support her if she needed it or catch her should she fall. Jasper had stood strong and had pulled Lapis back from the edge once before. She was certain that if the need arose, she could do it again, no matter how much she hoped she didn't have to. As Lapis searched her expression, her tension began to ease away. She squeezed Jasper's fingers with her own, and when she looked back at Peridot, the warrior gem could once again see the strength she loved blazing in Lapis' eyes. Seeing that strength eased some of the tension in Jasper's heat as well. Lapis would not be so easily broken again.

Peridot had silently watched the exchange between them. When her eyes met Jasper's, the warrior gem felt the strangest urge to stand taller and set her jaw. Whatever had been shared between Peridot and Lapis before, Lapis was hers now. Even if Peridot had once called this place home, it was Jasper's home now. And she would fight to defend it, no matter who her opponent was. She had half expected some sort of challenge from the green gem, but Peridot once again surprised her by smiling softly. The green gem stood up a little straighter, seeming reassured somehow by Jasper's display of dominance.

She broke their gaze and looked around at their home. "You know, I didn't say it before, but you guys really have done a good job with this place." Her tone was light, almost cheerful. "Looks like it was a lot of work." She continued awkwardly when neither of them replied.

She glanced at Lapis to see the slender gem gaping at Peridot and decided that it was up to her to reply. If Peridot wanted to try and ease the situation, she could do no less. "It was. Lapis is full of ideas." Jasper boasted for her.

Peridot blinked over at them, seeming surprised. She hid it behind another smile. "I should have known. Sea theme." She tried to make it into a joke.

Lapis suddenly dropped Jasper's hand stepped forward. "Actually, Jasper set the theme." She walked over to the pedestal they'd made to display the sculpture Jasper had given her. They'd moved it to the side, to make room for the ladder, but it was still close to the center of the barn. "She made me this and I wanted it to be our center piece." She laid a gentle hand on the base of the sculpture and faced Peridot. She was tense again, and Jasper got the feeling that Lapis was now challenging Peridot in her own way.

The green gem stepped closer to the sculpture and looked closely at it. Jasper almost expected a jabbing remark, but Peridot's eyes seemed to light up. She looked back at Jasper over her shoulder. "You made this?" She asked, sounding delighted. Jasper was too stunned to do anything but nod. Peridot didn't seem to mind and looked back at the sculpture. "The proportions are exquisite! What kind of formula did you use to get them so close to scale?"

" I... um... didn't use a formula. I just... sort of carved them from memory."

Peridot turned at gaped at her. "Really?" She sounded astonished. Again, Jasper could only nod and Peridot regarded the sculpture with renewed enthusiasm. Jasper was very confused. She glanced at Lapis, hoping for some sort of clue on Peridot's sudden mood shift, only to find the slender gem looking just as stunned as she felt. Lapis only shook her head. Peridot reached out towards the sculpture, but stopped before she touched it. "This really impressive, Jasper." She said, sounding awed.

The warrior gem felt herself blush at the praise. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." The green gem replied, finally straightening from the sculpture.

Jasper stepped closer to her and Lapis as Peridot continued to look around. Then, her eyes seemed to rest on the pyramid of toilets that she and Lapis had replaced in the same spot after they'd redone the floor. Jasper still didn't know what they were for, but they had seemed important to Lapis, so she'd been very careful with them. Now she saw that they had been important to Peridot too.

"You kept our morps." Her tone cracked with a sudden sadness.

Lapis' lips pulled down in a soft frown. "Of course. I wouldn't have gotten rid of them." She seemed almost insulted by the insinuation.

Peridot shook her had and gave Lapis an apologetic smile. "Of course, you wouldn't. I don't know why it surprised me." Then she sighed and rubbed the back of her neck as she looked away. "Look. You know this sort of thing has never been something I'm truly good at. So if I say the wrong thing and upset you, please give me a chance to explain. Okay?" The plea was sudden and Jasper was left feeling like she'd missed a part of the conversation.

Lapis reached for her and Jasper immediately stepped forward to take her hand again. She was thankful that Lapis wanted the contact, because she herself was feeling oddly as if the world were tilting out of place. Peridot's surprising actions and her sudden shifts in mood and subject left her grasping for the proper way to respond. It left her confused and a little frightened. From the desperate way Lapis clung to her fingers, Jasper got the sense that the slnder gem felt the same way.

The contact seemed to ground Lapis a little too, because it was only a moment later that she replied. "I can't make any guarantees, Peridot." She whispered. "But I can promise to try."

The green gem nodded rapidly a few times. "That's fair." She took a deep breath and then released it in another sigh. "I'm sorry, Lapis. For everything." She looked up and her eyes were suddenly swimming with tears. "But especially the things I said to you last. They were wrong. I was so caught up in my own feelings and the things I thought were true, that I didn't even consider the possibility that I could be wrong. And I'm sorry to you too, Jasper." The green gem looked up at her. "For accusing you of all of those things. I was so frustrated by not being able to help the others and not being able to find the answers we were looking for, that I let my guilt warp my better judgment. You hadn't done anything wrong, but I needed someone to blame." Her voice cracked and the building tears began to trail down her cheeks in glistening lines. "And then I let my anger and my twisted assurances hurt the both of you even more than they already had. I ran away and left you both to deal with the aftermath of my stupidity. And I almost got you killed, Jasper, because foolishly thought I could make things right on my own. I know that I had to come back and face what I'd done, but I was too afraid to. Until this morning, that is." She coughed a self depreciating laugh through her tears. "But I heard you both laughing. You sounded so happy... I didn't want to bring it up. I just wanted to run away again. But we had a mission to do, so I couldn't and so I did what I always do. I buried myself in my work." She shook her head again. "But after what almost happened today... I couldn't run anymore. I didn't want to just leave things like this. I really am sorry. To both of you."

Jasper had been trying to keep her own roiling emotions in check, but when Peridot spoke of earlier today, she felt tears well in her won eyes. After Adventurine had made her appearance, the warrior gem hadn't once thought about how terrified she and Steven must have been when they saw the avalanche of ice and stone hurtling down the mountainside towards them. Looking at Peridot now, the green gem must have thought that she and Steven were going to perish there. Her sudden mood shifts and subject changes made so much more sense. She was still dealing with this fresh trauma and yet was here, trying to make amends for something she'd done wrong. The thought made Jasper almost want to hug her.

Lapis was looking between the two of them. "Wait. What happened today? I thought you were only placing transmitters?" Concern weighed her tone.

Jasper sighed as she realized that Lapis was not going to take this part of today's events well. She had hoped to ease into it, but Peridot's speech had already clued the slender gem in on how badly it had gone. Even if everything had turned out mostly alright, she knew that the close shave would hurt Lapis. But Jasper knew she couldn't belittle Peridot's apology by hedging around the details that had spurred this sudden and profound change of heart.

"You know the transmission we're trying to track, the one that makes me... bad?" She asked, making sure Lapis understood. She nodded, so Jasper continued. "It came again while we were out there and nearby a corrupted gem was affected by it too." Lapis gasped, worry and apprehension filling her eyes. Jasper turned to fully face her, squeezing the hand she held. "I know. But we're okay." She hesitated before she continued. "Mostly okay, anyway." Lapis' eyes narrowed and she sighed, wishing there was a lighter way to relay the events. There wasn't, so she went on, stating only the facts. "Steven and Peridot were at the bottom of the mountain. The fight caused an avalanche. We were trapped fighting the currupted gem and couldn't go to them. Pearl lost her form. She was about to be shattered. There was nothing Amethyst, Garnet, or I could do." Lapis was clinging to her, denial in her eyes and Jasper took her other hand, trying to reassure her that everything really was okay now. "Yes. It was bad, Lapis. _But-_ " The warrior gem paused there and looked down at Peridot. The green gem was watching them, eyes still glittering with tears. "That's when Adventurine rushed to the rescue." She smiled down at Peridot letting the gratitude she still felt show in her eyes.

"Who?" Lapis asked softly. Jasper glanced back up to see confusion join the worry in her navy eyes.

The warrior gem nodded her head at Peridot, who stood a little taller as Lapis looked over at her. "Mine and Steven's fusion." Peridot said softly.

Lapis gaped down at her, looking stunned. " _What_?" She cried.

The green gem nodded. "We knew that the others were fighting, but when all that rock and snow started sliding down... " She trailed off, a trace of the fear she must have felt then entering her tone. "It looked like the sky was falling down on top of us. I wanted to help, but I knew I had to try to get Steven to safety. There wasn't any time to think. We started running. Something hit me. I f-fell." Her voice broke and she shook her head, hugging herself, eyes unfocused as she no doubt relived the memories inside her head. "I told Steven to go on without me. He was more important than me, but... he wouldn't leave. He reached for my hand and I took it..." Her fear gave way to wonder. "And then, we were Adventurine. And we knew that we were safe then. All we wanted to do was get to the others. You know how I can control metal?" She asked, eyes refocusing on Lapis. The slender gem blinked and nodded. "Adventurine refined my ability! She could control the trace minerals in the stones! We climbed the avalanche!" She cried. "We felt really good about it. We wanted to show the others, but then we saw them trapped. We saw Pearl's gem lying there and that horrible creature looming over them. _No one hurts my friends!"_ She growled. "So we kicked her butt!" She nodded sharply, crossing her arms with a huff.

Jasper smiled hugely. Seeing Peridot standing there, looking every inch a haughty, righteous victor, drew a laugh from her. "They did. Adventurine saved all of us today." She praised. "Thank you again, Peridot.

The green gem smiled at her. "It was my pleasure." Then she frowned. "But what lead up to Adventurine made me realize how much I didn't want to leave this unfinished. I'm sorry for just springing it on you and I know it's long overdue, but I felt like I had to apologize now, before I lost the chance." The sudden earnestness in her expression bled with sadness.

The warrior gem's heart clenched in her chest at declaration. She saw Lapis blinking rapidly against the tears she saw welling in her eyes. "It's not overdue, Peridot." The slender gem whispered softly. "You came when you could. I know that." Lapis took a step toward her, letting go of one of Jasper's hands to clench her own over her heart. "And I'm sorry, too. For just reacting before. For getting so angry. You hurt me and I lashed out without thinking about the consequences. I almost..." The tears she was fighting began to escape, running down her face in rivulets of pain. "It shouldn't have come to that. And I'm sorry."

Peridot was crying now too and shook her head. "I don't blame you, Lapis. For any of it. It was my fault."

Lapis shook her head too. "It wasn't all your fault Peridot. But someone told me something once." Then Lapis turned slightly to look at Jasper. The warrior gem had been fighting sympathetic tears as she witnessed them making amends for their wrongs, but when Lapis looked at her emotions swirling like a storm in her dark eyes, the tears escaped. "They told me that focusing on the wrongs we've done isn't what we should focus on." She continued softly.

"Then what should we focus on?" Peridot sobbed.

Jasper's tears began falling faster and she and Lapis shared a sad, knowing smile before the slender gem turned back to Peridot. "On making the wrongs into a right."

Peridot's eyes went wide, and the green gem hiccuped a sob in surprise. Then she laughed through her tears. "That sounds like something Steven would say."

Jasper laughed herself at the statement and Lapis squeezed her hand as she sighed a laugh too. "That's because he did. He told me that a long time ago." Jasper told her softly.

"It's true, you know." Lapis said, still smiling.

"The things Steven says often are." Peridot replied, wiping the tears from her eyes. Jasper dashed at her own and saw Lapis do the same. They all shared another smile between them, before Peridot sighed again. This time, it sounded happy, but tired. "I should go get some sleep." She glanced once more at the toilet pyramid, before looking up at Lapis. "One last go? For old times?" She asked tentatively.

Lapis beamed at her and squeezed Jasper's hand one more time, before letting go. The warrior gem felt the loss immediately, but she was curious to finally see what this sculpture really was. The two of them stood side by side and raised their hands. Peridot's fingers began to twitch and the metal triggers on the toilets began flipping up and down in tandem. Lapis' hands weaved in the air and water sprayed from them, arcing into the air in streams. As the triggers flicked, the water wavered and curled, almost like it was dancing. The water and the moving triggers caught the rainbowed light from the glass sculpture she and Lapis had hung and all of the different colors made the display positively dazzling. Despite the fact that Jasper now knew what toilets were used for by humans, the effect of the display was awing.

Lapis and Peridot continued for a few more moments, before letting their hands fall. The triggers moved back to their resting positions as the water flowed back into place. The two of them shared a happy smile and turned back to Jasper. The warrior gem caught the expectant looks in their eyes and clapped enthusiastically.

"That was awesome!" She cheered.

The two gems blushed under the praise and Jasper smiled hugely at them. "That was fun." Peridot chuckled.

"It was." Lapis agreed.

Peridot turned to her and the two of them simply stared at each other for a long moment. Jasper knew that the two of them were sharing a moment and she felt the weight of whatever it was grow as a few long seconds passed. Instead of making her jealous, the exchange made her feel strangely sad. Somehow, she got the feeling that they were saying goodbye to something. It was an odd thought, but when their gazes broke, the both of them looked very sad and Jasper knew she was right.

"I'll see you around, Lapis." Peridot said softly.

"See you." Lapis' reply was just as soft.

As Peridot started towards the door, Lapis looked after her, regret and sadness shining in her eyes. Jasper could see the same in Peridot's eyes as the green gem walked past her. She heard Peridot call for Pumpkin outside and the green gem's voice broke on the creature's name. Lapis' flinched as she heard it. She blinked up at Jasper and the warrior gem saw fresh tears there. Jasper wanted to go to her, but Lapis shook her head slightly, and nodded to the door, looking worried. Jasper smiled softly at her and followed the silent request. She would make sure that Peridot was okay and then come back and comfort Lapis.

"I'll walk you to the warp, Peridot." She offered, ducking through the door after her.

Peridot paused from petting Pumpkin, but something stilled her from speaking. The warrior gem wondered what it was, but the green gem nodded and started walking before she could ask. Jasper matched her stride and the two of them walked together towards the warp. For a long moment, the only sounds were Earth's nightlife and Pumpkin's pants. She looked up at the sky to see that the clouds had thinned further. A few stars winked in between their wispy forms and the waxing moon hung low and large in the sky. The air was crisp and refreshing. It was a very nice night that didn't match Peridot's still somber mood at all. The warrior gem wanted to say something, but she found that the words wouldn't come. When they topped the last hill before the warp pad, Peridot stopped short beside her. Jasper looked down and was surprised to see Amethyst standing beside it, looking worried.

"Amethyst?" Peridot called softly. The purple quartz jerked her head up and started towards them. Peridot jogged to meet her and Jasper followed. "What are you doing here?" They stopped a few feet apart.

Amethyst shook her head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Peridot answered immediately. Then she looked away. "Yeah." The repeated word was a heavy sigh.

Amethyst's brows furrowed and she bit her lip. She looked up at Jasper. The warrior gem could see a question in her eyes, but Jasper could only shake her head. Peridot wasn't okay, but she didn't know what to do about it. Amethyst stepped closer to Peridot and reached out to lay a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Peri?" She called softly.

Peridot blinked and met her gaze. She tried to give the worried purple quartz a smile, but it looked more like a grimace to Jasper. "I'll be fine. I promise." Her tone was reassuring, but still heavy.

Amethyst didn't seem at all reassured by her words and tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing the green gem with a serious expression. Without a word, she pulled Peridot into a hug. The green gem hesitated for a brief moment, before hugging her back. Peridot began the tremble and Jasper go the sense that she was crying again, even though she didn't make a sound. Over Peridot's shoulder, Jasper could see Amethyst fighting her own tears.

The warrior gem's own eyes watered again in sympathy. She found herself wanting to go hug Lapis again so badly it hurt. She turned towards her home, wishing she could see its light from here. She didn't want to leave the two of them like this, but she knew that right now, Lapis was alone and upset and wanted to get back to her. When she turned back to them, Amethyst caught her gaze and gave her the smallest of nods. The understanding look in her eyes brought a sad smile to the warrior gem's face. Amethyst would see to Peridot. She could go back to Lapis.

She turned back to the barn with a heavy heart. Her mind was reeling with so many thoughts that they almost blended together in a roar of static. With everything that had happened recently, she was exhausted trying to process it all. All she wanted to hold Lapis and not have to think about anything but her. It was a wish she'd been having all day and it had been growing stronger with each repetition. Somehow, she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep now, but being able to curl up with Lapis, safe from the world for at least a few short hours, would be more than enough. She felt her strides lengthening until she finally broke out into a run.

She burst through the door and saw Lapis standing where she'd left her. The slender gem seemed surprised at her entrance, but her face crumbled as she saw the desperation Jasper didn't have the strength to hide. Lapis rushed to her and Jasper met her halfway. She drew the slender gem off of her feet in a tight hug and Lapis' arms squeezed about her neck and shoulders. Jasper knew she was shaking and felt Lapis' body trembling against her.

"Shh." Lapis soothed. "It's okay."

The whispered words were a rush of warmth in her ear. Jasper nodded, squeezing her even tighter. She didn't want more words, but she knew that Lapis would want to know about Peridot, so she forced herself to speak. "Amethyst is with Peridot."

The slender gem shook her head, one hand trailing up to bury in the warrior gem;s hair. "Thank you." She was silent for a moment, then took deep breath and let it out in a sigh that tickled over Jasper's skin. "I don't want to think anymore right now." She whispered.

Jasper felt a wash of relief. "Me either." She whispered back. "Can we go to bed?" She asked softly. Lapis nodded again, squeezing her tighter. Then she pulled away and Jasper set her on her feet. "You go on up. I'll get the door."

Lapis smiled and coalesced her wings. She flew up to their bedroom and Jasper went to shut the door. For the first time, she wished they had some sort of lock in place. She knew they were safe here, but she had the sudden urge to lock the world away while they rested. On a whim, she retrieved her bear sculpture and set it so that it blocked the doorway. It wouldn't keep out a determined intruder and there was no way for her to secure the open windows, but seeing the bear there, looking like it was guarding the doorway, made her smile.

She leaped up into their bedroom and saw Lapis already curled up on the bed, She'd gotten under the covers and only her navy hair was visible over the blanket. Jasper walked over to wall and flipped the switch to turn off most of the lights. She didn't want to be in the total darkness tonight. Lapis felt her approach and flipped back the covers.

"Boots off." She ordered softly, before Jasper could crawl in beside her. For some reason, when they decided to crawl beneath the covers, Lapis insited on bare feet.

The warrior gem chuckled and concentrated for a moment, dissipating her boots. "Done." She whispered, before slipping into the bed.

Lapis waited until she'd settled, before curling into her. Jasper drew her closer, until the slender gem was lying half on top of her. The slender gem pillowed her head on the warrior gems shoulder, draping an arm over her stomach. Jasper let her arm fall over Lapis' slender form and reached up with her other hand to twine their fingers together on her stomach. She sighed happily as Lapis snuggled into her.

"I've wanted to do this all day." She admitted softly.

"Me too." Lapis murmured.

Jasper turned her head with a smile, burying her face in Lapis soft hair. She took a deep breath, inhaling Lapis' scent, and finally felt all of her tension leave with another happy sigh. She felt the sleep she didn't think would come approaching rapidly and closed her eyes.

"Good night, Lapis." She whispered, already feeling herself begin to drift off.

"Good night, Jasper." Lapis mumbled back, sounding half asleep already. The warrior gem felt the slender gem's breathing even out and slipped into sleep with contented smile on her face. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **SO many emotions! This chapter was hard to write in a lot of ways. I almost didn't think I'd get it done this weekend, but my frand Mr. Coffee has been working overtime. Unfortunately, it's time for Mr. Coffee to clock out and I'm falling asleep on my keyboard.**

 **I love you guys so much! You're the best! Thank you so much for your continued support. We shall finish this journey together, loves. I'm really glad you're all here as we continue on.**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 37**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! This chapter is a little short again, but there's a good reason for it. We'll touch on it at the end.**

 **Read on, loves!**

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Jasper rolled over on her back, panting in the afternoon sun. She was tired and her body was covered in sweat, but her muscles ached in the most pleasant way. After what had happened a few days ago, the warrior gem had been overcome with the urge to start training again. It had been a long time since she had truly dedicated herself to it and it showed. Almost every fight she'd had since joining Steven and the others had gone horribly wrong. No matter how much she had been enjoying herself, a war was building. If she was going to stand and face it, she needed to hone herself back to that deadly edge that she'd once walked.

She knew though, logically, that no matter how honed her body was, her mind was her true enemy. Under the transmission's power, she swayed from rage to crippling panic in tandem. It robbed her of her higher reasoning and made her dangerously reckless. Even if her power derived from brute strength, being unable to make quick decisions had cost her dearly. She still didn't know why it only affected her and the corrupted gems, but knowing the why wasn't as important to her as stopping it. She couldn't help but think that if she was somehow stronger, that her will would grow stronger too. She was a warrior and a jasper. Jaspers never gave up and she would work until her body and mind were her own once more. She never wanted to be helpless on the field of battle ever again.

The thought spurned her into motion again. She rolled to her feet, steadying her shaking legs beneath her, and began working through all of her fighting forms once again. She let her mind dip into the memories of the many fights she'd had throughout her long existence. From each position, using her memories as a template, she went through the motions of countering possible strikes, blocking the ones she couldn't counter, and sweeping to the side from blows she knew she could not block. The ache of exhaustion quickly faded and her body sang a song of destruction and death for her imaginary foes.

Her blood surged and she let herself enjoy the simple pleasure of motion. The familiar feel of her body answering her call and the delivery of the myriad of knowledge she had honed with each battle fought, made her blood surge in her veins. Over the movements, the finesse of each motion grew and the fighting became a dance she knew all too well. She was poetry in motion. She was _Jasper_!

Nothing and no one could stand against her when she decided to step up to a challenge. She had emerged victorious from battles that had left lesser gems shatter to dust on the ground around her. Her skin was stained with the blood of a thousand creatures. Her hands had wreaked more destruction than any other warrior that Homeworld had to offer. Now, her battle was for Earth and her new foes would quiver in terror before her just like the foes of her past had done.

A small part of her rebelled against the thoughts, but she pushed them away. No matter how much she wanted the fighting to end, this was her reality. She would never be free of it until her home was safe. Something told her that these strange transmissions were only a taste of what was coming. Some instinct burned in her mind and told her that the war Homeworld had started was winding up again. She felt doom looming over her just as surely as she'd felt the Cluster maturing beneath her feet. Knowing it was still there, no matter the assurances that it was in stasis, still made chills of terror run up her spine. Now the sky held that same foreboding presence in her mind.

Her exhaustion caught up with her again and one of her kicks swung wide. She unbalanced and fell, only just managing to catch herself on her hands and knees before she landed face first in the dirt. Her body trembled and she let her head hang low, gasping for breath. She shuddered as sweat dripped down from her gem onto the grass. She watched the droplets fall for a long moment as her pounding heartbeat slowed. When she was finally able to move, she sat back on her legs and brought up a shaking had to brush her sweaty hair from her face. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Lapis leaning against the side of their home, watching her.

Even from here, the warrior gem could make out her worried expression and she sighed heavily. Lapis had tried to hide it, but Jasper could tell that the slender gem wasn't happy with her decision to begin training again. She never said anything, but Jasper could see the worry and sadness growing with every day that passed. Knowing that it upset her made Jasper wish again that things could be different. Not for the first time, the warrior gem cursed her own nature.

Lapis hadn't been made to fight. Turning away from the battle for Earth hadn't made her war with herself. She knew that Lapis still felt guilty for being unable to stand beside them in battle, but the thought didn't torture the hydrokinetic gem as much as Jasper knew it would torture her. She could see that Lapis knew it too and was trying her best to accept it. It was a bittersweet feeling for the warrior gem as her love for Lapis blended with the call of her nature. She would do anything it took to protect Lapis, even if it meant standing in the fields of war once more.

This time, though, the fields she fought in wouldn't be the same as they were before. This time, she would be fighting for something she truly believed in with all of her heart. Love had replaced the hatred inside her and she was no longer fighting with only half of her soul. Now, she fought for Earth and the chance to be more than what she had been made for. The more that she thought about that chance, the stronger other thoughts became; thoughts that had been slowly building ever since she learned of the true nature of Rose Quartz and had seen the corruptions for the gems they once were instead of the monsters they had become.

What would the universe be like if all gems could have this chance? What would it be like if they too could be more than their purpose and could choose live their lives the way Earth allowed? If after everything she had done, she was still granted this chance, then other gems still under the oppression of Homeworld should have it too. It was still new for her to think in such a broad scope, but the rightness of the thoughts rang true.

She also knew that this time, she didn't fight alone. For the first time, she knew that her comrades were just as powerful and determined as she was; more so, even. The Crystal Gems had stood up to Homeworld before and had turned away the great forces that had brought many a civilization to its knees. Those forces had spread in a wave of destruction throughout the universe, crushing everything in their path, and yet, one small grouping of gems had managed stand strong, to stop the wave, and see themselves broken, yet victorious in the end. Jasper was fighting with those gems now. Rose Quartz, the leader of the first true rebellion in Homeworld's long history, might have given her life in her devotion to love and Earth, but Jasper fought beside her son and gems that Rose had pulled free of the oppression of the Diamonds. Steven had freed her, just like Rose had freed them and now, Jasper was one of them.

She was a Crystal Gem! How could she _possibly_ lose now that they stood together? The thought brought a fierce smile to her face.

She pushed herself to her feet and shook the sweat from her hair. Her muscles ached even more now, but she didn't regret pushing herself that one step further. The more she pushed, the faster she would reach her peak again. And then, she would push further and go beyond it. There was always room to improve; her peak hadn't stood up to the Crystal Gems at theirs. Now that she was fighting with them, she had to surpass all of her own expectations. No matter how long it took, she would stand stronger than she ever had before with this new purpose, this new chance at life, to steady her.

Lapis watched her as she approached. She tried to hide the worry in her eyes with a smile and the effort both heartened Jasper and made her unbelievably sad. She didn't want Lapis to feel as if she had to hide her true feelings. There was a distance growing between them and the longer they avoided speaking about it, the larger it would get. She didn't want this distance to grow. She missed the smiles and laughter that time with Lapis had brought, before this growing war had intruded on the quiet life they'd begun to build. No matter how painful it might be, she knew that they needed to talk about it.

"What are you thinking right now?" The familiar question felt like a plea.

Lapis' eyes went wide for a moment and Jasper could see her debating on whether or not to answer. Then slender gem glanced away, arms coming up to hug herself with a defeated sigh. "I was just standing here, watching you train... I've never really seen you fight before. I've felt it... when we fought as... her." Her voice went dark for a moment. "...but I've never seen it before. The way you move, Jasper... it's almost mesmerizing. I could... _feel_ how much you were enjoying yourself, almost as much as I could feel it then. It really is a part of you." She sounded awed and infinitely sad all at once. "I'm trying to understand it." She looked back up and met Jasper's gaze and her eyes were shimmering, but her jaw was set and her voice was firm. " Even if it scares me, I want to understand."

Jasper swallowed a sudden lump in her throat at that sad, strong expression. She'd known that Lapis was upset, but the mention of their fusion let her know that it had been much worse than she'd thought. Even if they'd talked about Malachite some, their fusion was tied to some of their worst memories, so they never lingered on the subject long. She stepped closer to the slender gem, unable to help herself, but she didn't reach out to her. She needed to explain explain herself and she knew that if she touched Lapis, hugged her, that the words wouldn't come.

"The way I felt then, Lapis. That was the old me. When I fought then... I was fighting on rage and rage alone. It didn't matter who stood in my way or why they stood there. I thought that every single foe I faced was nothing more than an obstacle in my path to be destroyed. I never thought about the consequences. All there was was battle and glory. Nothing mattered to me, except victory." The words hurt to say in a way she didn't fully understand. Even if she knew Lapis had felt the feelings, and was still here, standing in front of her, it still hurt to say them aloud. Even if they hurt, she knew she needed to continue, so she did. She had to. "And it was terrifying. Knowing that one wrong move would leave me just as broken as the enemies I faced. You're the only one who knows how terrifying it was for me, Lapis. If there was one thing about me that I would change, its the part of me that enjoys still doing it, even if it scares me." Her voice cracked and she was forced to swallow her own building tears before she continued. "But I can't change it. Pushing myself, rising to meet a challenge, it's a part of who I am. It's what I was _made_ for." She paused again, her words failing as, her thoughts began roaring in her head.

She struggled to sort through the sudden chaos. It seemed impossible; how could she make Lapis understand? Then, a single thought drifted through the chaos like a ray of sunlight through a heavy cloud. Suddenly, she didn't hurt anymore as she decided to tell Lapis the revelation that had been growing inside of her. She felt stupid and foolish that she hadn't thought of it before.

"But something _has_ changed, Lapis, and that is the _reason_ I'm fighting." She smiled down at her, feeling infinitely lighter than before as she continued. "Before, there was nothing but the battle, because I didn't truly believe in what I was fighting for. Now, I do." She said firmly, standing tall once more as her confidence returned. "Earth is what is right, Lapis. Everything here is how it should be. The chance to live and be free to be more than what you were made for? Every gem should have this chance. My biggest regret is that I didn't see it sooner." She saw the storm in Lapis' eyes begin to dissipate and finally let her self reach out to her. She cupped Lapis' cheek, wishing so much that she had the courage to tell her the other words burning in her heart. She wanted so badly to speak them, but they caught in her throat. No matter how brave she felt, she wasn't brave enough to take this risk; not yet. But there were other words, other truths that she could say. "No matter how much I wish that I could turn away from the fighting and enjoy my own chance to be more than what I was made for, I know that I can't. Not yet. Not while it's not safe yet. This part of me that I wish I could change, might help the others turn the tide and finish this war, once and for all and give other gems this chance." Her heart was singing as she once again pledged herself to her new cause. "Earth is my home now. And that, Lapis? That's worth fighting for."

The declaration sang in the air before her. It still felt so very right; just as right as her love for Lapis did as she smiled softly down at her. She gazed into her navy eyes, hoping desperately that she'd found the right words to say to lift the burden on Lapis' heart. Those eyes began to shimmer, glistening in the afternoon sun.

Between one moment and the next, Lapis was suddenly pressed against her. Jasper was so surprised she couldn't react as Lapis' arms wound around her waist. Jasper recovered and returned the embrace as Lapis took a deep breath that caught in her throat. The slender gem was trembling and Jasper wished she could see the expression she wore. Instead, she held her tighter and let her work through what she was feeling in this moment with the knowledge that Jasper was here to support her, whatever that feeling might be. For a long moment, there was nothing but Lapis' trembling and Jasper's silent support.

Then, Lapis seemed to find the strength to turn her head enough to speak. "Peridot said that to me before I left, you know." The words wavered, her voice a mix of wonder and sadness. "Steven said it too, in his own way." She let out a sigh. "I know they both meant it, but they never made me believe it like you just did, Jasper." She pulled away, and Jasper loosened her arms enough for Lapis to look up at her. Her heart skipped a beat at the wide eyed, tender expression there. "Hearing you say it, makes me wish I could feel it too."

Jasper couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face at the wonder in her tone. There was a fire blazing in Lapis' navy eyes that she loved to see. Even so, for some reason, the thought of Lapis becoming a warrior like her left her not quite knowing how to feel.

Those last moments as Malachite that she'd spoken of... the memories of them swam through her mind. It had been when Lapis had finally let go and let Jasper step up beside her, instead of drowning them both as she had before; finally letting them free of the chains that had bound them since their first moments. In that moment, they both knew how badly Lapis wanted to let herself lash out, and Jasper had craved the chance to finally used the power that had come with their fusion. Even if she had been reluctant at first to agree, the darkness inside of the slender gem had enjoyed their awesome rush of power as much as she had. Lapis had still had the strength to stop her, but the lure of using that power, feeling the rush that came with it, had coaxed her to agree. And though they had long since been Malachite; that was the moment that their minds had truly been one.

It had been the first time that her power hadn't been directed inwardly and Malachite had all but rejoiced as she finally got to truly enjoy being herself. For too long she had been bound by her counterpart's differences. As she had stood toe to toe with Alexandrite, the best that the Crystal Gems had to offer, she had known with a wicked certainty that their best could never hope to face her power. After months of self loathing torture, she finally had a focal point for all of the rage and pain that had made her and had gloried in the chance to destroy it.

She would have destroyed the Crystal Gem's and everything they had stood for, if the watermelon people hadn't joined the fight. Jasper knew now that the strength of Lapis' light had come from her love of Steven. Even if Lapis hadn't truly understood it as love then, she had known that that feeling was right. That love had stopped the rage, stilled their power, and Jasper's inability to understand that love then, had led to the destruction of Malachite.

Jasper suddenly wondered whether or not Malachite would be different now that they were different. Now that they were no longer fueled by hatred and vengeance, would Malachite still be as evil as she had been? Then again, looking back now... Malachite hadn't truly ever _been_ evil. She had been dark yes, because she was almost literally the embodiment of the darkness inside of both of them, but they had never truly done anything that the both of them hadn't secretly wanted to do. The pain that had come of their fusion had been born of themselves. If she understood anything about fusion now, it was that Malachite could never have been a healthy fusion like Garnet and the rest, because the gems that composed her hadn't been healthy themselves. But she and Lapis were healthy now; weren't they?

It was too much to think about. She didn't want the sudden mix of emotion to ruin the happiness that she felt, so she tried to push it away and focus on the here and now. "Don't wish too hard, Lazuli. The others are already stronger than I am. If you stepped up, I'd never be able to keep up." She said with a pout.

Lapis threw back her head and laughed, hard, her arms squeezing Jasper tightly. The warrior gem's smile widened until it felt like it would split her face as that wonderful reaction washed away her lingering mixed emotions in a wave of love. She loved seeing Lapis laugh and making her do it was one of the warrior gem's favorite things. It accented the rightness of her decision and made her thankful once again that she was here, at her new home, with this wonderful chance to truly live for the first time.

The smile Lapis sent up at her was dazzling. "You're ridiculous." She laughed, shaking her head slightly.

"Ridiculously awesome, you mean?"Jasper quipped with a smirk.

She waggled her eyebrows and Lapis laughed again and pushed at her. "Ridiculously full of yourself." She teased.

Jasper gasped and gaped down at her. " _So_ rude!" She let Lapis go and turned away, crossing her arms with a huff. "Why do I even put up with you?"

"Because unlike you, _I_ really _am_ awesome." The slender gem giggled.

Again, Jasper could only gape at her. " _Ouch_!" The answering peal of laughter from Lapis made her grin again. Despite the fact that her training had tired her, she suddenly felt another burst of energy. "I'll show you awesome!" She growled, stepping forward. She reached for Lapis quickly, but slowly enough that Lapis could clue in and have just enough time to dart away.

The slender gem did exactly what she wanted, hopping aside with a surprised giggle. Jasper lunged for her again and Lapis took off over the grass with a happy shriek. The chase was on and Jasper found herself laughing too as she took off after her. She only made it a few yards before her legs began to quake, but she pushed on, chasing the contented happiness in Lapis' eyes that their play could bring. Her training and everything going on with the Crystal Gems had intruded upon their time together and, as she made another purposefully poor grab at Lapis that the slender gem easily dodged, she made a vow to herself; no matter how tired she was or what crazy things were going on, she would always make time for this.

The longer the chase went on, the more clumsy the both of them became with laughter. She knew that Lapis had realized that Jasper wasn't really trying to catch her, but even so, the warrior gem saw her eyes light up with every close grab. As she felt her quaking legs begin to give out, Jasper pushed for one last burst of speed and fairly tackled the slender gem to the ground. They fell onto the sun warmed grass in a tangle of limbs and laughs. Jasper flopped to the side, letting Lapis roll over and the two of them lay side by side trying to catch their breath.

Tired and happy, Jasper looked up to the sky. Even if the foreboding presence still lingered in her mind, she still found the sight to be breathtakingly beautiful. The clouds today were her favorite kind; towering and fluffy pillars of white splendor, gilded in golden sunlight. There were so many shapes to be seem among them and she let out a happy sigh as she watched them drift slowly by. Lapis sighed contentedly beside her. A moment later, the warrior gem felt something brush her hand. She glanced down just in enough time to see Lapis link their pinkies together. She grinned, a pleased blush flaring on her cheeks. Lapis was blushing slightly too, smiling up at the sky. Jasper squeezed her pinky lightly and looked back up too. As her heart swelled in her chest, she felt the vow settle in her chest; yes, she would always make sure to make time for perfect moments like this.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANKS FOR READING!**

 **So. This chapter was originally meant to be much longer, but oh, my lort, is work piling it on right now. I've been given a sort of sideways promotion and I'm back to twelve hour shifts and six days a week. Being entrusted with the enormous task I've been given is a compliment to my work ethic, but my body still hasn't fully recovered from my ailments. Not gonna lie, it has been pretty tough trying to adjust all at once. Even when I'm off, my mind has been full of trying to find ways to make this task easier to face and ways to work around my physical shortcomings, so writing has sadly taken a back seat.**

 **In no way does that mean that the story is ending or that I will stop posting chapters. They're just going to be a bit shorter for awhile while I adjust. I've grown rather fond of my weekly writing schedule and I have worked very hard to keep it up thus far, so I don't want to let this get in the way. I am enjoying our journey far to much to stop now. We still have a bit to go, so look forward to it!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 38**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!**

 **We'll talk at the end! Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

For a long time, Jasper and Lapis lay side by side, pinkies linked, and watching the clouds drift by in a contented silence. Jasper was tired, but happy. She could have lain there forever, but the sound of a familiar voice calling out to them had her sitting up and looking around. She grinned when she saw Steven running over the grass towards them. Lapis sat up too and made a happy sound as he neared them.

"Hi, guys!" He cried.

"Hi, Steven." Lapis replied with a smile.

"Hey, Little Rose." Jasper answered with a grin.

Steven laughed lightly. "So what are you guys doing?"

Jasper looked back up at the sky. "Watching the clouds." She looked away and winked at Lapis, before uncurling their pinkies so she could scoot a little further away. She patted the grass between them. "Wanna join?" The two huge and bright smiles she received for the suggestion were answer enough and she laughed. "C'mon."

Steven darted over and immediately flopped onto his back the grass between them. Jasper lay back down beside him and saw Lapis doing the same on his other side. Steven was lying with his head about level with their shoulders and Jasper was secretly pleased that she could still watch Lapis' expressions. Their eyes met over his head and Jasper felt her heart skip a beat at the happy sparkle in the slender gem's eyes.

After a few moments of happy silence, the boy let out a contented sigh. "I think this is exactly what I needed."

"Yeah?" Jasper asked. There was a weight to his tone that had her suddenly feeling concerned. "Something wrong?"

"Not really." Then he sighed in a way that was much darker than before. "Okay. Maybe a little."

Lapis frowned slightly and turned toward him, hand coming up to pet his hair. "Tell us." She urged softly.

"Well..." He pursed his lips, seeming to debate something. "Pearl's been kind've... different since she reformed." His tone was laced with guilt. "I know it scared her, but she won't talk about it. Even Garnet can't get her to talk. And she used to text a lot on her phone. None of knew who she was texting, but it always seemed to make her happy. Now... she doesn't really even look at it. All she does is work. She and Peridot have kind've taken over the house. There's graphs and charts and diagrams and computers and parts everywhere. They even turned the microwave into a computer!" He sounded highly upset about that. "Pearl makes Cat-Steven stay outside a lot and makes Pumpkin stay in the bathroom so they can't hurt anything. She even yelled at Lion! And both of them get _super_ edgy whenever Amethyst is in the room." He sighed again. "I mean, I'm kind've used to Peridot doing it. It's kind've her thing to get lost in what she does, but Pearl used to balance her out a little. Now it's kind've like she's worse than Peridot. It's like nothing else matters but the data. I fell really bad saying it, cause it kind've makes them both look bad, but I can't help how I feel. I miss how things used to be." He sniffled and Jasper's heart dropped as she saw tears spring into his eyes. "Before all this scary stuff happened. Before this thing made gems act like they shouldn't. Pearl's had two close calls since this started and it scares me. You had a close call too, Jasper. And then what happened at the mountain... I don't want this whatever this is to hurt the people I care about, but I don't know how to stop it! I feel so _useless!_ " Then, suddenly, he curled up on his side and began to sob softly.

She shared a deeply concerned look with Lapis as the slender gem immediately drew Steven into a hug. There were shocked tears in her eyes and the warrior gem knew that seeing Steven cry hurt the slender gem as much as it hurt her. Jasper turned towards them and reached out, drawing both of them into her arms, so that she could offer them both comfort. Steven was pressed between them and he clung to Lapis as his sobbing grew harsher at the gesture. Lapis curled into her, hiding her tears in Jasper's shoulder.

Jasper held them tightly, feeling guilty that she hadn't thought to check on Steven before now. The boy almost always seemed unshakable, but he was still so young; so very young, compared to the millennia that she and the other gems had lived. The war had long since died before he came to be, and he'd had no part in starting it. Rose had begun this war and now, he was fighting her battles. She only just realized how hard that must be for him to try to stand where she had. She felt her old resentment towards the rebellious quartz rise within her heart.

Rose had to have known that Homeworld would never forget how badly she'd angered the Diamonds. She had to have known that they would never let the insult of her rebellion against them stand. How could she have left them, knowing what was surely going to happen? How could she have left this burden behind for others to shoulder?

Then again, if she had chosen to remain, then Steven would never have come to be. Jasper couldn't imagine Earth without him. His laughter and smiles and huge heart had set so many wonderful things in motion, even if he didn't realize it. Lapis' mirror had been in possession of the Crystal Gems long before he'd found her. She'd been trapped, hidden amongst piles of rubbish in Amethyst's room for thousands of years before he pulled her free. Would Rose have ever set her free? Would the Crystal Gems have ever given the lapis lazuli a chance to live and be whole ever again? Or would Lapis have been trapped in that nightmare existence for the rest of eternity? The thought terrified her almost to the point of madness. She pushed it away, unable to dwell on it any longer.

If Lapis had never been freed, then the Diamonds would never have sent her with Peridot on the mission to Earth. She would have never been defeated. She would never have become the target for all of Lapis' madness-fed rage. She would never have been broken, would never have fallen, and she would never have been able to rise again as a Crystal Gem. She would never have known of the strange, wonderful, terrifying thing called love.

How many good things were set in motion by Rose' decision to give her life to Steven? Did they outweigh the bad? She knew there was no way of knowing; she doubted even a sapphire could unravel that tangled mystery.

Then she realized that it didn't truly matter. Rose was gone and Steven was here and Jasper loved him. The warrior gem knew that all of the Crystal Gems and Lapis loved him too. No matter what horrors and pains this war brought into their lives, they would protect him with everything they had. He was the center of their strange dynamic. He was what brought them all together. His kind actions and heart full of compassion had brought new perspective into minds long hardened by the burdens they bore. No sin seemed too great for him to forgive. No wrong was too bad to set right. He was strong; stronger than any of them in his own unique way. Even if he was stumbling now, she was here and so was Lapis to catch him, and she knew that he would do the same for them; that he _had_ done the same for them and so much more.

She knew now that moments like this were only stepping stones on the path to the future. Pain shared with those you cared about, was pain eased. Even if the pain never lessened or went away, moments like this helped one grow around the pain, so that it seemed lesser in comparison with everything else. Love and compassion and comfort were a few of the most important things she had learned in this new journey of life that Lapis and Steven had started her on and she would never trade these two wonderful beings for anything the universe had to offer. She held them both tighter still, wanting to cement these profound feelings into her heart for the rest of eternity.

Steven made a small sound between them. "Cant... breathe..." He squeezed out.

Jasper felt a blush roar to life on her cheeks and she immediately loosened her hold. "Sorry!"

Lapis let out a sudden peal of laughter. The blushing warrior gem gave her a confused look. "Pumpkin." Lapis replied, still laughing.

Jasper grimaced and blushed harder. Steven looked between the two of them. "She squished Pumpkin too?" He asked.

"Yes." Lapis giggled.

Steven grinned, but Jasper frowned, a sudden thought coming to mind. "Do I ever hurt you when I hug you?" She asked the slender gem, feeling a surge of guilt.

Lapis sobered immediately." No, Jasper." She blinked and blushed suddenly, glancing down at Steven. She seemed to debate something, before blinking back up at her, eyes sparkling with affection. "I like your hugs." The reason for Jasper's blush abruptly changed as her eyes shot wide with surprised pleasure.

" _Aw_!" Steven cooed.

The warrior gem pursed her lips down at him. "Hush." She muttered. "Or I'll squish you again." She threatened playfully, tightening her arms around them slightly for good measure.

He squeaked a laugh and tried to wiggle from between them. "No!" He cried.

To Jasper's surprise, Lapis pulled him back down, pillowing his head on her arm so that he didn't hit his head as he fell back. "Yes!" She cried back.

She winked at the warrior gem, eyes dancing with mischief. Jasper grinned and took the silent queue, carefully squeezing a little harder; just enough to make sure he couldn't escape. Then, Lapis began to tickle him with her free hand. Laughter ripped from him as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried harder to wiggle away.

"No! Stop!" He cried through his laughter.

Lapis grinned at her over the squealing boy and tickled him harder. Tears squeezed from beneath his eyelids as he began laughing harder. Jasper grinned back and looked down at him. "Are you sorry for teasing us?" She growled.

"Yes! Yes! I'm sorry!" He managed to squeak through his forced laughter.

"Good." The slender gem ceased her tickling and Steven sagged limply onto the ground, gasping for breath.

She and Jasper shared a soft laugh as she cuddled Steven again. The warrior gem loosened her arms a bit when she felt the urge to squeeze tighter still. She would remember now to hug others more gently than Lapis so that she wouldn't hurt them. Hugging was still very new to her when the slender gem wasn't concerned. She hadn't realized that they could hurt before now. It seemed that a lot of things that felt good, could also hurt. It was one of the more painful lessons of this new life to learn, but it would make things better in the future. If she remembered, then she wouldn't have to feel guilty about it again.

She met Lapis' eyes over Steven and smiled when she saw the happiness dancing in their navy depths. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steven smiling too, eyes still closed. The boy seemed to be basking in the feeling of being held. There was no trace of the sadness from before. Seeing the two beings she cared about most in the universe so happy, made her unbelievably happy as well. It was another perfect moment; one she'd cherish forever.

Her tiredness returned and she wiggled slightly to get more comfortable, nuzzling her cheek on the warm grass. Her eyes drifted shut as she simply enjoyed the feeling of Lapis in her arms and Steven safely nestled between them. She heard Lapis sigh contentedly and the sound tugged the lingering smile on her lips a little wider. She squeezed them softly and then relaxed, thoughts drifting away on a tide of contentment and happiness.

 **-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

The soft sound of music stirred her to wakefulness. She blinked in the near darkness, confused as to where the sound was coming from. In her arms, Steven and Lapis stirred too. She watched blearily as Lapis rubbed her eyes with one hand and Steven fumbled in his pocket for a moment. Her drew out his phone and tapped the screen, holding it to his ear without opening his eyes.

"'Lo?" He murmured sleepily. A moment later he smiled. The soft, tired expression made Jasper smile too and she laid her head back down. Lapis did the same on his other side and their sleepy gazes locked over his head. Even if they were outside, she wanted to drift back into sleep right where they were. She was simply too content to want to move. "Hey, Connie." Steven said softly. "It's fine. I'm with Jasper and Lapis. We didn't mean to fall asleep." He paused for a moment. Suddenly, he sat up with a gasp, eyes shooting wide, startling the warrior gem into full alertness. "Really?!" He burst.

Jasper frowned. "Is everything okay?" She asked, withdrawing her arm so he could scramble to his feet.

He looked down at her, beaming a smile. "Yes!" He cried. "I've got to go find Lion!" He called as he began running for the warp, phone still held to his ear. "Ill be back later!"

Jasper sat up stared after him, brows furrowed in confusion. "What was that all about?"

Lapis sat up beside her. "No idea." She murmured.

Jasper shook off her confusion. Steven often did things she didn't quite understand, but the boy had seemed very happy about whatever had prompted his sudden departure, so she decided not to worry about it. Instead, she flopped back onto the grass and stared up at the darkening sky. The last vestiges of sunset had painted the clouds a deep, glowing pinkish- orange that contrasted beautifully with the pale sky and greying clouds. She saw Lapis look over and when she looked over at her, everything seemed to stop. Lapis was positively radiant, haloed by the last few rays of the late sun. The warrior gem's breath caught in her throat and all she could do was stare as Lapis watched her with a mysterious swirl of emotion in her darkening eyes.

Slowly, as if she were almost afraid of something, Lapis leaned towards her and Jasper's heart stuttered faster at the sight. A strange terror flickered through her, as well as the strangest sense of anticipation. She felt like something was about to happen, but she didn't know what. And then, Lapis suddenly blushed and fairly collapsed into the surprised warrior gem, burying her face into Jasper's shoulder. The warrior gem felt her trembling and immediately wrapped her arms around the slender gem to hold her close.

Jasper was very concerned. "Lapis?" She whispered after a moment, looking down at her.

The slender gem lifted her head to answer and Jasper suddenly felt very self conscious as Lapis' nose was suddenly almost brushing her gem. She was so close, all Jasper had to do was tilt her head and their lips would touch. The thought sent ripples of fear and giddiness in equal measure through her entire form. The slender gem's eyes shot wide, her blush rekindling and the warrior gem felt herself blushing fiercely too.

Neither of them moved for a long moment. The longer she stared into Lapis' glistening eyes so close to her, the harder the warrior gem's heart pounded, until she felt almost faint. She wanted to kiss her, to tell her the words burning in her heart, but the fear still held her tongue and stilled the thought before she could act upon it. Though she knew Lapis would never judge her for anything else, this was the one thing she couldn't be sure about. There was so much weight in their past and the future was too uncertain. Only the now mattered and the now was so near to perfect in a way she never thought anything could ever be, that she didn't want to risk it for anything. She loved Lapis with all of her heart and that knowledge was enough; for now.

The thought finally let her smile up at the gem above her. Lapis blinked slowly and smiled too. A moment later, they were both laughing. "We're missing the sunset again." The slender gem whispered softly.

Jasper was overcome with a sudden urge than made her smile stretch wider. "I don't care. I'm looking at something way prettier than the sunset right now." Lapis blinked, eyes opening wide again in surprise and Jasper's smile shifted to a cheeky smirk as she winked up at her.

The slender gem's blush roared back to life and her head fell back into the warrior gem's shoulder. Jasper head her mutter something unintelligible, but the wry tone of the words made her chuckle. Jasper squeezed the slender gem tightly and sat up, drawing Lapis into her lap. She helped the still blushing Lapis shift until the slender gem was resting with her back to Jasper's chest so that she could watch the sunset. The warrior gem wrapped her arms around Lapis' waist and rested her chin on the top of her head. Lapis sighed softly, lacing her arms over Jasper's.

She squeezed them tightly and the action caused Jasper's smile to stretch bigger as she thought of the confession that Lapis had made earlier in front of Steven. "So you really like my hugs, huh?"

Lapis made a strange choking sound. "I do." The warrior gem laughed as the slender gem turned slightly to glare at her, still blushing fiercely. "When you don't tease me, that is."

"I wasn't teasing!" She insisted, still chuckling. Lapis' glare grew more intense and the warrior gem grinned. "Okay. Maybe I was teasing a little." She admitted. Lapis huffed and turned back around, crossing her arms over her chest. Jasper leaned forward, pressing her cheek to the side of Lapis' so she could see her indignant expression. She still found it adorable, even if she knew it meant that Lapis was annoyed with her. "I only asked because I wanted to do this." She squeezed Lapis tighter, curling her taller form around the gem in her arms.

The slender gem stayed tense for a moment longer, before relaxing, letting her head fall back onto the warrior gem's shoulder. "Dork." She muttered. Her tone was still annoyed, but Jasper could hear affection in it as well.

"Nerd." She whispered back, lying her cheek on Lapis head and breathing in her scent.

They sat like that for a long time as the radiant sky slowly faded to night. Earth's nightlife came alive around them, slowly replacing the sounds of the day. The stars winked into sight and the air grew crisp. The nights were getting colder as Earth's seasons slowly began to change. She only knew a little about them, having learned from Peridot and from Camp Pining Hearts, but a little was enough; she would be able to experience them in time. What she did know, was that Summer was fading into Autumn and she knew that the green and growing things that she'd grown accustomed to seeing here, would begin to stop growing and sleep. The leaves would change colors and fall and the animals would change their habits. The cold wouldn't affect her, she knew, but she looked forward to the new sights and smells that Autumn would bring. And she would be able to see and smell and experience the changes with Lapis and the others. The thought made her heart swell.

Silently, she lay back, drawing Lapis with her so that they could watch the stars through the fluffy, moon-bathed clouds. The slender gem shifted slightly to the side, curling atop Jasper but keeping her eyes on the sky. Jasper saw her smiling and let out a contented sigh. She could lie here forever and be totally at peace.

A sudden burst of light and sound to their side blasted the notion away. A disc of sparkling light appeared in the air. Lapis shrieked in surprise and fear, clinging to her as the warrior gem rolled to her feet, cradling the slender gem in her arms. She snarled, materializing her helmet with a jerk of her head, ready to face this new threat.

To her utter shock and surprise, Lion soared through the light to land in front of them. Further surprising her, she saw Connie, Steven and Sadie sat on his back. Connie and Steven were smiling hugely, but Sadie looked rattled and slightly ill.

"Told you Loin could get us here in no time!" Steven cheered at the blonde.

Sadie shuddered and let herself fall from Lion's back. "I think I'd've preferred the long way here." She muttered.

Connie and Steven laughed. The dark haired girl suddenly seemed to notice Jasper and Lapis. "Hi, guys!" She called to them, swinging her leg over Lion's back and sliding gracefully to the ground. It was only then that Jasper noticed a strange case strapped over her shoulder, crossing over the strap of the Rose Sword. It looked strangely familiar to her.

Steven waved at them, breaking the thought. "I'm back!" He cried, sliding a little less gracefully to the ground.

He reached up and removed a few more of the strange cases from Lion's back. The beast immediately ran to them as soon as the last burden was removed. He nearly knocked Lapis from her arms as he butted against the still stunned warrior gem. Nearly dropping Lapis snapped her from her shock and she held the slender gem a bit more securely as he rubbed against her. She cradled Lapis with one arm, reaching out to lay a hand on Lion's head in greeting as well as to stop his enthusiastic affections.

"Hi." She greeted them all belatedly.

"Hey." Lapis echoed quietly from her arms.

Sadie crawled to her feet and faced them. "Hey, Jasper! Long time no see!" She grinned. "You look as shaken as I feel!"

That made Jasper smile. She'd missed Sadie. "Well, it's not every day we get visitors exploding out of thin air." She explained, letting her helmet dissipate.

Steven winced. "Yeah, didn't think about that." He sent them an abashed smile. "I was so excited I forgot that Lion might scare you."

"Why were you excited?" Lapis asked.

The boy grinned and looked at Connie and Sadie in turn. The girls mirrored the expression. Then he winked up at Jasper. "Jasper wanted to get you a present, so she asked me for help. I asked Connie and Sadie and, well, here we are!"

Lapis blinked up at her. "You wanted to get me a present?" She asked softly, eyes wide with surprise.

Jasper suddenly remembered asking Steven about a violin for the slender gem. She knew now why the strange cases looked familiar; they were instrument cases. She looked back at Steven, feeling excitement bubbling in her chest. "You mean you got one!" She cried.

He nodded, still grinning. "Yep!"

"Got what?" Lapis asked, sounding very confused.

Jasper set the slender gem on her feet, giving her a big smile. "You're going to like it. I promise!" She said earnestly. She turned to the others to see the three of them presenting a smallish case in a grand gesture, heads bowed. Carrying on the mood they'd set, she took it, handling it as if it were very fragile, and turned back to Lapis. She kneeled in front of her and smiled bigger at her still confused expression. "For you, your radiance." She said with pomp. With a wink, she presented the case, holding it up so that Lapis could open it.

The slender gem was still confused, but the action and words made her smile. With an exaggeratedly pompous air, she snapped open the latches and lifted the lid. The moment it was open, the pompous air dropped and she gasped in awe. Her eyes shot wide with surprised pleasure as she stared at the contents for a long moment. Slowly, she reached out and gently lifted the instrument and it's bow from the case. Jasper felt a little awed herself as she took in the beautiful instrument, cradled reverently in Lapis' hands.

It was made of dark wood that gleamed in the light of the full moon. Intricately painted patterns decorated the smooth surface in different hues of blue. The bow was made of the same color of wood and had wisps of the blues throughout it's length. It was stunning and looked even more so as Lapis cradled it, stroking the surface with her fingertips as if it would shatter at her touch.

"Do you like it?" Steven asked, breaking the awed silence.

"It's beautiful." Lapis murmured softly. She turned to him and the girls, sending them a beaming smile. "Thank you!" She cried.

All of them grinned, but Connie shook her head. "It was Jasper's idea. We just helped make it happen."

Lapis turned back to her, affection and happiness and that familiar, deeper emotion that she still couldn't name glistening in her eyes. Gently, Lapis replaced the violin back in its case, closed it, and took it from her. Jasper watched her, feeling her heart pounding as Lapis lay it on the ground beside her. Then she only had a moment to react as the slender gem fairly flung herself at her in an enthusiastic hug. Jasper recovered almost instantly and hugged her back, squeezing tightly as Lapis began to tremble.

"Thank you Jasper. Truly. I love it." She whispered.

The warrior gem closed her eyes, feeling a soul deep shock as Lapis said the word 'love' in a whispered rush in her ear. Tingles rippled through her and she wanted to cheer and cry at the same time. The words again danced to the forefront of her mind. The growing urge to tell Lapis that she loved her was so very strong in that moment, she almost blurted it without thinking; but she couldn't. She couldn't do it. Garnet's words whispered in her mind, leaving her feeling strangely reprimanded. It wasn't that she was fighting her feelings as the fusion had hinted she was doing; she knew and embraced how she felt for the gem in her arms. Fear of the unknown was what kept her from speaking them aloud. And besides that, they weren't alone. Could she really confess her secret feelings with someone else around? Part of her flinched away from the flimsy excuse, but the rest of her felt more secure at the thought. There would be a right time to say it in the future, she was sure. For now, She wanted to let Lapis enjoy her present.

"I'm glad." She whispered back.

The tingles were still rippling through her and her heart was pounding so hard that it was a wonder that Lapis couldn't hear it. She pulled away, hoping that a tiny bit of distance would help. The radiant smile Lapis sent at her squashed the notion almost instantly. Seeing her smiling like that, happier than Jasper had ever seen her, left the warrior gem feeling like she could shatter from sheer elation.

"Play with me?" Lapis asked her, glancing down at the violin.

Jasper smiled hugely. "I thought you'd never ask." She stood and grasped one of Lapis hands after the slender gem picked up her violin.

They turned together to the others and Jasper blushed fiercely at the wide-eyed, adoring looks on their faces. All three were swooning at them, Steven even more so than the two girls. She felt amusement join the acute embarrassment she felt. A glance at Lapis showed her blushing, but smiling mirthfully too.

"You guys want to play with us?" She asked them, squeezing Lapis' hand.

"Yes!" They cried at once.

Jasper laughed and she and Lapis started towards their home. Lion bounded past them and inside. As they entered, he was already curled atop their bed in a huge, furry ball. The warrior gem snorted in amusement as he sent them an arrogant look, before closing his eyes. The others entered behind them as she dropped Lapis' hand.

"Just let me get my sax." she told them as she started towards the storage room.

"You play a saxophone?!" Steven cried in surprised pleasure.

Jasper grinned as she stepped back into the main room. She set the case down underneath the glass sculpture and kneeled to open it. Instead of answering directly, she brought the instrument to her lips as she stood and started to play one of the songs she and Lapis had played together before. The slender gem beamed at her and joined her, pulling her violin from its case. She raised the instrument to her shoulder and readied her bow. Her eyes closed in fierce concentration and then, she drew the bow across the strings.

The sweet sound that emerged as she did so, almost made Jasper skip a note in the song. Almost immediately, the slender gem seemed to become one with the instrument, swaying gracefully as their notes blended together in harmony. It was hard to find the breath to keep playing as the warrior gem watched Lapis play the instrument like it was an extension of herself. Lapis' eyes blinked open and she sent the warrior gem a soft, warm smile. The melody changed and Jasper found herself following the new tune without thought; her ears and eyes and heart were all for Lapis and the sounds of music that swelled between them.

Distantly, she heard the sound of another violin and the mellow tones of Steven's ukulele join them. She glanced over to see that Connie held the other violin. Sadie sat on one of the crates she and Lapis had used to store the glass and watched them play with a reverent expression. Her eyes drifted shut after a few moments and Jasper got the sense that she was feeling the music they were all playing in a way she couldn't describe. Then, Sadie opened her mouth and began to sing, words joining and blending with the music in perfect harmony.

" _A distance lies between us,_

 _A path of loss and tears._

 _A memory of brighter times_

 _Lies hidden beneath fears._

 _Give me a sign!_

 _That my heart's still alive!_

 _That it wasn't just a dream we had_

 _That cannot be revived!_

 _I want you near!_

 _I want to feel!_

 _I want the memories to come to life_

 _And again be something real!_

 _Words fall in drops like rain._

 _Tiny notes of hurt and pain._

 _A broken heart, a space apart,_

 _That will never be the same!_

 _Give me a sign!_

 _That my heart's still alive!_

 _That it wasn't just a dream we had_

 _That cannot be revived!_

 _I want you near!_

 _I want to feel!_

 _I want the memories to come to life_

 _And again be something real!_

 _Be something real_

 _Like a comet in the sky!_

 _A burning wish, a want, a hope,_

 _That blazes far and wide!_

 _Give me a sign!_

 _That my heart's still alive!_

 _That it wasn't just a dream we had_

 _That cannot be revived!_

 _I want you near!_

 _I want to feel!_

 _I want the memories to come to life_

 _And again be something real!_

 _Be something real..._

 _Be something real..._

 _I want my heart to come to life_

 _And again be something real_."

Silence fell as her words faded. Jasper saw astonished looks on everyone's faces that she knew matched hers as she gaped at Sadie. The blonde was still sitting on the crate, eyes closed and head back. Her expression was pained and full of longing and the warrior gem could see that tears had built behind her closed eyelids. Her heart twisted at the sight.

After a few silent moments, she blinked open her still wet eyes and looked around at them all. A blush flared to life on her cheeks at their expressions. She sent them a shy smile and tucked her chin towards her chest in embarrassment.

"Sorry. Not really sure where that come from." She tried to make it a joke, but the lingering sadness in her tone made it fall a little flat.

"Don't be sorry, Sadie!" Connie cried. "That was amazing!"

"Yeah!" Steven agreed. "It's not you usual style, but I liked it!"

At that, Sadie let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Yeah, that one definitely isn't one for the band."

Jasper finally found her words. "I didn't know you could just... make songs like that. That's awesome!" She cried.

"She does that all the time! All those songs you heard us play before? Those were all songs that Sadie wrote!" Steven praised.

"I had help writing them though! You guys inspired me!" Sadie insisted. "And you make up songs all the time. It's not that big a deal." She muttered.

Lapis surprised Jasper by walking over to the girl and kneeling in front of her. She leaned in to meet Sadie's eyes and the blonde blinked when their gazes met. Something seemed to pass between them. Slowly, Lapis leaned back and Sadie titled her head up to keep their gazes locked.

"Don't make light of things that make you special, Sadie." She said firmly. "I know we don't really know each other, but I know enough. Turning your hurts into something beautiful is the way you heal." She glanced back and up at the glass sculpture hanging from the ceiling. Then her navy eyes met Jasper's and the warrior gem felt a strange, bittersweet mix of sadness and happiness as the slender gem sent her a soft smile. She turned back to Sadie, giving her that smile and the blonde's eyes instantly teared. "And what you do is beautiful." Lapis whispered.

Sadie sniffled, but smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Jasper was stunned as she watched another moment pass between the two. It was the first time she had seen Lapis truly connect with someone other than Peridot and Steven. Sadie was a very special person; Jasper had known it the first time they'd met. She was almost always smiling and had a huge heart, but there was a subtle aura of deep, deep sadness about her that was offset by a burning strength that showed even when she gave in to her sadness. She was hurting, but she wasn't giving in to her hurt. She was working through it, living around it, and trying to make the best of it. She suddenly realized that, in a way, Lapis and Sadie were very similar. Watching them share their sadness and strength with one another only made it more apparent.

And seeing Lapis be so open someone else made the warrior gem very happy. It meant that Lapis really was healing. The thought made her smile.

She had all but forgotten the saxophone in her hands and brought the instrument to her lips to play a few happy notes. She winked at the others when they turned to look at her. Steven and Connie exchanged grins and began playing again as well. Lapis smiled at Jasper and stood, holding out a hand to Sadie. The blonde blushed and took her hand, letting the slender gem lead her to them. As soon as Sadie was in the center of their home, Lapis released her hand and raised her violin back up to her shoulder. With a flourish, she joined the happy melody they had begun.

After a moment, she smiled back down at Sadie. "Sing." She ordered softly.

The girl laughed and closed her eyes. Jasper saw her sink into the place she had before. It was only a few moments later, that she opened her mouth and began to sing again. The warrior gem felt her heart skip a beat as Lapis began to dance towards her to the tune of the music and Sadie's swelling voice.

When she reached the warrior gem, Lapis leaned close to her, still playing that happy tune. "Thank you, Jasper." She whispered, just loud enough for the warrior gem to hear.

Jasper couldn't reply verbally, but she leaned closer as well. She tried to let her eyes say the words she couldn't speak. She knew that Lapis understood, because she sent the warrior gem another radiant smile. Even if Steven and Connie were playing with them, even if Sadie's voice blended with the sounds of music in the air, Jasper found herself lost again in Lapis. She found herself wishing that this night would never end.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANKS FOR READING!**

 **I am so sorry that I missed last week, loves. I know I said I'd try not to let my hours affect my writing, but they have. With the holidays coming and my schedule as crazy and long as it is, I'm afraid that I don't have much time to truly sit down and write. I deeply apologize for this.**

 **This does NOT mean that I won't be continuing. We are NOT done with this journey! Even if it takes a few months longer than I'd planned, we will see Jasper's journey to its end.**

 **I love you guys. I know I say it a lot, but it's true. Thanks again so much for bearing with me and for continuing to support this story. It means a lot to hear from you all, even if it's just a few words in a PM. You're amazing and never stop being you! But, that's all for now!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	39. Chapter 39

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 39**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SOMUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Oh, loves. It has been FAR too long since I've updated. I'm terribly sorry about that. But I'll blather on at the end. The journey awaits!**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Jasper felt herself smile as she woke the next day to the soft notes of Lapis' new violin drifting through the air. They'd gone to bed not long after Steven and the girls had left. Neither of them had been truly tired, but Jasper had wanted to hold Lapis close and Lapis had seemed to want to be held. It had been a perfect end to an almost perfect day. It was rare that Lapis awoke before her, and usually meant that she'd had a bad dream. This time though, just from the sound of the music she was playing, Jasper immediately knew what Lapis' mood was in that moment. She was happy, and the warrior gem felt her heart swell to awaken to such happiness. It didn't _quite_ make her feel as good as waking up with Lapis in her arms, but it still pleased her. The thought made her smile harder as she rolled over quietly to sit on the edge of the bed.

Her heart skipped a happy beat as she realized she could see Lapis playing from where she sat. The slender gem was lost in the instrument, dancing slowly to her music underneath the broken glass of their sculpture. Her eyes were closed and there was an ecstatic, rapturous, expression on her face as she played. The fractured light from their glass sculpture caught the slanting morning sunlight from the windows and sparkled brilliantly, casting her in an ever changing aurora of radiance.

Jasper found herself awed at the sight. Lapis had told her that she loved the violin, but never could the warrior gem have imagined just how much. Seeing her now, without the distraction of others around her and thinking herself to be entirely alone, showed just how much those murmured words had meant. The thought sent a shock through her. It cast those words in a more acute light. It made her ache to say them more; but, for now, watching Lapis play was more important.

The longer she watched, the more she felt herself losing everything else. There was no sound, but for Lapis' violin, her soft footsteps, and the subtle rustling of her dress as she danced. There was no light, but what played on the light beads of sweat on her smooth skin and spun through her hair in glistening lines. She was as mesmerized watching Lapis play her instrument as she knew Lapis was playing it.

Then, like the sun breaking through a glowing cloud, something in Lapis shifted and she opened her eyes. Her dreamy gaze immediately found Jasper's. The warrior gem found herself frozen, breath catching in her throat. She was suddenly caught on the edge of a strange terror and an overwhelming happiness as Lapis' lips curled in a soft smile. Slowly, the slender gem drew the bow across the strings, ending the melody shed been playing with a sweet, lingering note. It hung in the air even after she'd lowered the instrument from her shoulder like a promise; a promise of what, the warrior gem didn't know.

Jasper was still frozen as she watched Lapis coalesce her wings and fly up to her. The slender gem gently laid the violin on one of their pillows and surprised Jasper fully by crawling into her lap. Lapis faced her, knees on either side of Jasper's hips and wound her arms around the warrior gem's shoulders in a gentle hug. Jasper's heart stuttered to a stop as Lapis' body settled against her.

"I can't thank you enough for getting me this violin, Jasper. Truly. Thank you." She whispered, breath tickling up the warrior gem's neck. "I don't know how I can ever repay you."

Jasper's heart restarted with a lurch and began to pound at the slightly desperate way the words had sounded. She wrapped her arms around Lapis' slender waist, holding her close. "I'm just glad it makes you happy, Lapis." She whispered back.

"It does." Lapis sighed. "You have no idea how much."

Jasper held her tighter. "Then that's all I need." She murmured. Her eyes drifted shut as she simply enjoyed feeling Lapis against her for a long moment.

Suddenly, Lapis giggled and pulled away enough to look at her. "And to think, you had the perfect opportunity to ask me never to ask you to help me clean again!"

As the mischievously teasing words registered, Jasper almost burst out laughing. As if she would ever barter Lapis happiness for never having to pick up a broom again! She got the feeling that Lapis knew that too, but Jasper decided to play along anyway.

She let her eyes shoot wide and she gaped at her in greatly exaggerated shock. "Now why didn't _I_ think of that?!" She cried.

"Too late now!" The slender gem sent her a cheeky smirk.

The warrior gem laughed aloud at the expression, unable to continue the farce. Lapis giggled again, looking pleased and happy. They stared at each other for a long moment in happy silence as the laughter faded.

As Lapis' fingers began to gently stroke the back of her neck, the warrior gem once again became acutely aware of their closeness. Again, she was flooded with the now familiar a mix of embarrassment, fear, and anticipation as her arms unconsciously tightened around the slender gem's waist. Lapis was staring deeply into her eyes, a blush flaring on her cheeks. Her eyes held that mysterious mix of affection and happiness and something more that Jasper so desperately wanted to understand. The warrior gem felt herself blushing too as the long moment went on. Slowly, almost without realizing it, she leaned a little closer to the slender gem, drawn in by the weight of her sparkling gaze. Lapis leaned in too, until their foreheads touched. Fire danced through Jasper's veins as Lapis' arms tightened around her, fingers playing with the the hair at the nape of her neck. Lapis nose was brushing her gem, sending tingles through the warrior gem's body. Their breaths mingled in the space between them and Jasper wanted so badly to kiss her in that moment that it almost hurt.

Would it be alright? How would Lapis respond? Would the action reveal her deepest feelings, without her having to say them aloud? Would Lapis accept them? She was torn between utter terror and desire.

Lapis' phone let out a sudden peal of music. It startled Jasper so badly she immediately snatched away, feeling oddly as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't. Lapis started too and pulled away so suddenly she toppled off of Jasper's lap. Only the warrior gem's quick reflexes allowed her to catch the slender gem before she hit the floor. Lapis clung to her arms with a squeak of surprise, head curling upwards so that it didn't contact the floor. Jasper breathed a sigh of relief and carefully helped her to stand. Lapis' blush was even brighter than before and the warrior gem found herself so embarrassed that she couldn't even look in Lapis' direction as the slender gem darted to retrieve her phone.

"H-hello?" She answered, voice squeaking. "Oh! Hi, Steven!" She replied. The reply was overly enthusiastic. "Nothing!" She said quickly, voice wavering. "Just... talking." She mumbled. "Why?" A moment later, Lapis let out a heavy sigh. "Oh..." The sudden sadness in that one little word had Jasper's head snapping around. Lapis was turned away from her, shoulders sagging. Even without being able to see her face, Jasper could see utter dejection like an aura around her. Then, Lapis was shaking her head. "No, no. It's fine!" Jasper could tell that the slender gem was trying to sound reassuring, but there was still a sadness in her voice that made the warrior gem want to go to her. Forgetting the embarrassment of before, she stood and approached her. "Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. We'll see you in a few minutes." She lowered the phone with a heavy sigh.

Jasper stepped up to her and wrapped her arms around Lapis the moment she disconnected the call. The slender gem leaned back against her, head falling back into the warrior gem's chest. "What's wrong?" She asked softly.

"He says that Peridot and Pearl have finished the new transmitters." She answered, tone laced with sadness. "They're ready to start placing them again and they need you to come with them."

Jasper frowned, heart dropping in her chest. She'd known that Peridot and Pearl were making leaps and bounds of progress from what Steven had told them, but she'd hoped for at least a few more days before she had to leave Lapis alone again. She sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she had to go with them. She was a Crystal Gem now; Earth and the other Crystal Gems needed her.

There were still a few moments, however, that she could still spend with Lapis. She didn't want them to be sad. For a brief moment, she wondered how to chase the sadness away, before a sudden thought made her smile. "Play for me?" She asked softly. "Until I have to go?"

Lapis sighed a laugh. "You like my playing that much?" She murmured. Her tone was gentle and teasing.

Jasper loosened her hug so Lapis could twirl around to face her. A slightly haughty mix of affection and mischievous mirth danced in the slender gem's navy eyes. The warrior gem adored it and felt her own smile tug bigger at the sight. "I do." She confessed earnestly.

Lapis smirked, lifting her nose the tiniest bit to match the teasing haughtiness in her eyes. "Then I suppose I can. Just this once."

Jasper fought a chuckle and stepped back so she could give the slender gem a sweeping bow. "Thank you for indulging this lowly pebble, your radiance."

She could see Lapis fighting laughter as she swept over to retrieve her violin. In a grand gesture, she motioned for Jasper to sit on the couch. Smiling indulgently, Jasper did so and watched mirthfully as Lapis moved to stand in front of her and ready the violin with a dramatic flare.

Then, as her bow came to rest on the strings with the barest of touches, all of the pompous pretense faded. Her expression went soft as her eyes drifted shut. And then, she began to play. Even before the first long, sweet note faded, Jasper was already entranced.

Lapis played like she was made of music. Like the violin was a part of her, having sprung forth from her flesh simply express more of what and who she was. It was awing.

But this time, Lapis wasn't playing in a group. This time, the music wasn't for Lapis' own enjoyment. Jasper knew, somehow, that Lapis was playing right now just for her. Every note was a gift and the warrior gem felt them settle in that place inside her that held all of her love and affection for the radiant gem before her. Her heart was full of nothing but her; so full that she felt like her chest couldn't possibly contain it. It seemed to swell, filling all of her with nothing but her love for Lapis; so entrancing and dazzling as she seemed to pull the song she played from somewhere beyond the world around them. Again, the warrior gem was left blinking against tears as she caught a glimpse of the overwhelming beauty of Lapis' heart and mind; just as she had when watching Lapis turn a painful memory into the splendor that now hung from the center of their home.

The song seemed to last an eternity and yet was over far too soon for the mesmerized warrior gem. Lapis stayed still for a long moment after the last note died. Then she shifted, blinking open her navy eyes, blushing softly as their eyes met once more. She cradled the instrument, hugging it delicately to her chest, but her eyes never left Jasper's. A million emotions seemed to swim in their dark depths as she smiled radiantly. It was an expression of great happiness, and it made Jasper's heart swell impossibly bigger. But, through that radiant smile, Jasper could see that she was trembling, overwhelmed by that storm of emotion still raging in her eyes. Jasper felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight and all of her own roiling emotions became simply too much. She was on her feet and moving towards her, before she'd even completed the thought of doing so. Gently, reverently, she took Lapis' violin and bow and carefully laid them beside the television, before sweeping the still trembling gem off of her feet in a hug. Lapis returned it instantly, winding her arms around Jasper's neck and squeezing tightly. Jasper buried her face on Lapis' hair as she felt Lapis nuzzle tightly into her neck. She found herself trebling just as hard as Lapis was in her arms. For a long moment, Jasper was unable to speak, too overcome for words.

Her heart was pounding, head swirling, but she knew she had to say something, anything, to express just how much that song had meant to her. "Thank you." She breathed. The simple words felt inadequate, but they were the only ones she could say.

Lapis only shook her head, face still buried in the warrior gem's neck, but she squeezed Jasper a little tighter. The action brought another smile to her lips. The warrior gem was content to simply continue to hold her, but a distant barking reminded her of the world around them. She would have to go in a few moments. Her heart dropped the tiniest bit as Lapis sighed and pulled away.

But Lapis was smiling. "Let's go down, so Pumpkin won't have to look for us." She said softly.

Jasper smiled back, a sudden warmth flooding her chest, chasing that tiny flicker of sadness away. A moment later, she felt a suddenly mischievous urge and winked at the slender gem in her arms. Without warning, she leaped from the loft. Lapis let out a surprised giggle, clinging to her tightly.

Jasper smirked and gently set the slender gem on her feet. No sooner than she released her, something slammed into the closed door with a yelp. The warrior gem chuckled and went to open the door, revealing a reeling Pumpkin. The orange creature shook herself, recovering almost instantly, and ran inside with a happy flurry of barks.

"Hey, girl." Lapis murmured, stooping to pet her.

Pumpkin crooned and rubbed against Lapis' legs for a moment, before turning back to Jasper. The warrior gem stepped towards them and knelt, scratching the stump on the affectionate creature's back. Pumpkin sagged against Lapis' legs in bliss, one of her stumpy legs tapping on the floor. A moment later, she sank to the ground, eyes closed and purring.

Lapis laughed softly as Jasper let out anther chuckle at the adorable reaction. "Dramatic and cute. Definitely raised by you." She winked up at Lapis.

The slender gem immediately blushed and reached out to slap Jasper's shoulder. "Hush!" She snapped mirthfully.

Jasper laughed. "Never."

"Hey, guys!" Steven's voice cried out.

Jasper looked over to see him stepping through the doorway. The boy ran at them, throwing his arms around Lapis. The slender gem laughed and hugged him back. "Hi, Steven." She greeted him warmly.

Jasper smiled at the affectionate display. She was still feeling giddy and a little mischievous, so she decided to play a little. Leaving Pumpkin in a contented heap on the floor, she stood and swept the still hugging pair off of their feet in her own hug, Both of them giggled and she squeezed them just enough not to hurt Steven again.

"Hey, Steven!" She grinned at the still giggling pair in her arms.

"Hey, Jasper." He laughed, releasing Lapis to turn in Jasper's arms and hug her back. "The others are setting up one of the transmitters at the warp, but it shouldn't take them long. You ready to go? Garnet says today should be a good one."

Her grin slipped a little when he said the word 'go', but his cheerful report of Garnet's prediction of the day helped her keep it in place. "Yes. The sooner I go, the sooner I can come back and tease Lapis some more." She winked at the slender gem.

Lapis blushed and tried to frown, but Jasper saw her fighting a smile. "Dork!" She cried.

The warrior gem smirked and leaned forward to press their foreheads together. "Nerd." She replied softly. Lapis pressed back, smile breaking through the feeble frown.

Steven made a happy sound under his breath and Jasper felt a tiny tingle of embarrassment. Even if she knew she was blushing and could see Lapis blushing again as well, she found that she didn't really mind. Being able to be so open with each other in front of the boy made Jasper feel good; even if Steven's enthusiastic enjoyment of their closeness was a little embarrassing.

Smiling, she stooped and set them both on their feet. Steven gave Lapis another quick hug and then ran to the door. "I'll see you at the warp!" He called after him.

Jasper sighed as she watched him leave. She glanced back at Lapis to see the slender gem staring up at her, expression tender. The warrior gem turned to her and reached out to cup her cheek."You'll be okay while I'm gone?" She asked, unable to hide the trickle of worry in her tone.

Lapis smiled gently and reached up to lay her slender hand over Jasper's. "Go." She murmured. "Pumpkin and I will be okay."

Jasper returned the soft smile, shifting her hand just enough to link their pinkies together. "Promise?"

Lapis let out a soft laugh and squeezed her pinky tightly. "Promise."

The warrior gem felt a flood of warmth at the firmness of the reply. Still smiling, she drew Lapis in for a swift hug. The slender gem snaked her arms around the warrior gem's waist, returning the hug with a squeeze. Jasper closed her eyes and simply held her, wanting to enjoy the feel of Lapis in her arms for just a few moments longer before she had to go.

"You're _so_ slow!" Amethyst's voice yelled from the doorway, startling them both. "Stop being mushy and come on!"

Jasper released a now mortified Lapis, turning to face the grinning purple quartz in the doorway. "Amethyst!" She growled. Why did she _always_ have to be so tactless?!

"What?" The cheeky quartz replied. "They've already finished setting up the new techno junk out there and I'm tired of listening to Pearl whining about schedules! So move your butt!" She called, eyes flashing with mischievous humor. The warrior gem was irked with her callousness, but, underneath it, Jasper saw a hint of regret as the amethyst glanced from her to Lapis.

She bit back a scathing remark. She knew that Amethyst hadn't truly meant to embarrass them. It was just her way of showing affection; however untimely it might be. "How 'bout I kick yours instead!" The warrior gem threatened playfully.

" _Ha_!" Amethyst scoffed. "You'd have to catch me first!" She waggled her eyebrows and darted back out the door.

"Cheater!" Jasper yelled after her. The sound of Amethyst's laughter was her only reply.

Jasper turned back to Lapis to see the slender gem giggling silently. "Go!" She cried, giving the warrior gem a push towards the door. "Kick her butt for me, too." She laughed.

Jasper laughed aloud and reached back to ruffle Lapis hair, drawing a cry of dismay from the slender gem, before taking off after Amethyst. "I'll be back!" She called back to her, shooting the still laughing gem a wink over her shoulder.

Lapis waved after her from the doorway. "I'll be waiting!" She cried.

The warrior gem felt a burst of giddiness and focused on Amethyst' retreating form. The purple quartz had a sizable lead, but Jasper didn't let that daunt her. Her longer stride allowed her to close the distance fairly quickly and she grinned ferally as they neared the last hill to the warp. The moment that Amethyst cleared the top, Jasper pounced, sending them both rolling down the other side. She cuffed the purple quartz playfully about the head as they rolled. Amethyst let out a surprised shriek and used her momentum roll agilely to her feet when they hit level ground. She stood over the warrior gem, who'd landed on her side, smirking cockily. Jasper smirked back and side-swept her feet from under her. The purple quartz hit the ground again on her back, air rushing from her lungs in a sharp groan. The warrior gem curled her legs up towards her chest so that she could leap to her feet. She stood over Amethyst, still smirking and crossed her arms. Amethyst glared up at her and Jasper quirked a taunting eyebrow at her. In a flurry of motion, the purple quartz flipped over herself on the ground and launched herself at Jasper's chest. Jasper felt her smirk flash wider as she caught Amethyst by the collar of her shirt, stopping the playful attack and leaving the purple quartz dangling helplessly in midair. Amethyst struggled vainly for a moment, grunting, before letting her limbs hang limply with a defeated groan.

She lifted the helpless quartz up so she could look her in the eye and grinned victoriously. "Now, about that butt kicking?" She threatened.

"Oh, for goodness' sake, Amethyst!" Jasper heard Pearl cry. She looked up to see the very incensed pearl stalking towards them, glaring at the purple quartz. "Can you _please_ stop drawing others into your rough-housing and get serious? We have a job to do!"

Amethyst shot the pale gem a glare, but Garnet's voice cut her off before she could speak. "She's right." The fusion called from the warp. "And you can always kick Amethyst's butt later, Jasper." She quipped with a grin.

The warrior gem laughed as Amethyst crossed her arms with a huff. Jasper smirked again and released the purple quartz with no warning. Amethyst barely caught herself before landing face first in the grass. Jasper dusted her hands with exaggerated arrogance and faced Pearl. "To work then. Is the plan for today the same as last time?"

The pale gem seemed mollified by the seriousness of her tone. "Not quite."

Her tone suddenly held a hint of nervousness as she gestured for the warrior gem to follow her towards the warp. Jasper felt a little confused by it, but followed without mentioning it. As she looked past Pearl, she only just realized that Peridot was fiddling with a strange device almost as tall as she was. It was anchored firmly in the ground near the warp pad. Jasper thought that it looked a little monstrous, but Peridot and Pearl were regarding it with pride.

Pearl placed a gentle hand of the transmitter and turned back to her. "The receivers are still roughly the same size-" She gestured outwards and Jasper followed her gaze. She could just make out one of the devices glinting on a hill in the distance. "- but these new transmitters are larger and have more computing power. They also have the power supplies built into them, instead of separated."

Peridot nodded and straightened from the device. "After what happened last time, we realized that less is more. We still need to cover the rest of the warps, but these new designs will allow us to cover a wider area than the ones from before. Less legwork with the same results. Ah, the beauty of efficiency." She sighed.

Pearl nodded. She made a sweeping gesture and all of them began stepping onto the warp. "We will have to transport them one at a time, but the pros far outweigh the cons."

Jasper nodded at the two gems as Garnet activated the warp, sending them all slipping into warp space. "There's only one big change to the plan." The fusion told her as they arrived at the beach house. Her tone was oddly knowing and the fusion seemed to be laughing at some internal joke. Jasper regarded her curiously.

The fusion only smiled and nodded her head, deferring the question to Pearl. The pale gem smiled softly back, but it seemed a bit forced. "Since these new devices take much less time to calibrate, we've decided to go in two teams. You're with Steven and I." She said tentatively, as if she wasn't sure of Jasper's reaction.

The warrior gem was confused. Why was Pearl suddenly so much more nervous? Steven let out a loud whoop of joy before Jasper could ask. He held out a fist to the warrior gem. Jasper grinned and bumped it with her own. Steven was wily and had fought well with her that day at Beta. Pearl was as intelligent as she was deadly. They'd be able to handle just about anything the universe could throw at them.

Still grinning, she held out a fist to Pearl. The pale gem gave her a slightly confused look. "I know it's not really your thing, but Steven picked the team handshake already. Gotta go with it." She joked.

Pearl let out a surprised laugh and delicately bumped Jasper's fist with her own. "Right." She turned away, blushing lightly with a suuden happiness and looked towards a huge, handmade map on the wall. "Where should we start?"

Garnet sent the warrior gem a pleased smile, before giving the pale gem a quick, one armed hug. "You should hit the other polar warp first, today. Get the cold out of the way while it's still sunny there for Steven." She suggested.

"Splendid idea!" Pearl cried. As Garnet went to help Peridot and Amethyst prepare for their own expedition, Pearl turned to Steven. "Make sure you dress warmly. You can change when we come back for the next transmitter." Jasper knew that he already knew that, but the boy only smiled indulgently at the pale gem and went to do as he was told. Pearl looked after him affectionately for a moment before turning back to the map. "I'll just update my planner."

She promptly pulled an overstuffed notebook from her gem and began plotting their route for the day. Garnet, Amethyst, and Peridot were already moving their first devices to the warp pad. Steven was just going into the bathroom to change. Seeing that she wasn't needed for a moment, Jasper decided to indulge herself for a moment. Quickly, she walked towards the door and ducked outside.

The sea swelled before her, bright sunlight setting the waves to sparkling. She walked to the railing, and leaned against it, feeling the familiar urge to leap over it and run out into those lapping waves. The wind was gusting strongly, whipping back her hair. It was cool and invigorating and full of the scent of the sea. The warrior gem leaned into it, inhaling the briny scent, and let out a deeply happy sigh. For a long moment, she stared out over the lapping waves, letting the scents and sounds take her over for a precious moment.

Already, she missed Lapis. She wanted Lapis to be near her. She knew that the slender gem might never join the fight for Earth, But maybe, just maybe, Jasper could convince her to come along on missions like this, where no fighting was involved; if Garnet's prediction were to be true. The thought of exploring new places and seeing new things with Lapis made her heart skip a happy beat in her chest.

The sound of the door quietly opening drew her from her thoughts. "Everything alright?" Pearl's voice called softly from behind her.

Jasper turned slightly and sent the pale gem a smile over her shoulder. Only a sharp thought kept that smile in place when she caught Pearl's expression. Again, that strange nervousness was back in the pearl's eyes. Why? She didn't want to pry, so she deflected the slight worry she felt.

"Just enjoying the sea." She gestured for Pearl to join her at the railing. "I know we have to go." She said in answer to the pale gem's confused look. "But it's just such a beautiful day. I wanted to drink it in for a moment." She said softly. Pearl's eyes shot wide, a sudden blush flaring to life on her cheeks. Now, it was Jasper's turn to be confused again. "Are you alright, Pearl?" She asked, unable to hide the worry any longer.

Pearl simply stared, eyes popping impossibly wider for a moment. She blinked, shaking herself free of whatever sudden thought she'd had, and joined Jasper at the railing. "I'm fine." She squeaked, looking out over the sea as if it were greatly interesting.

Jasper frowned over at her. "No offense, but you don't seem fine." She pressed gently.

Pearl's lingering blush flared brighter for a moment, before she sagged into the railing, seeming to shrink before Jasper's eyes. "I'll go ahead and apologize." She muttered. "This is going to sound... very rude." She glanced up at the warrior gem, looking more than a little guilty.

Jasper was very concerned and confused, but she sent the pale gem a smile. "I know Peridot and Amethyst. I'm okay with rude." She joked.

That pulled a genuine smile from Pearl. "True." She laughed, but then seemed to deflate again. "The truth is, Jasper... I wasn't sure how you'd react to finding out I'd be in charge today. I thought you'd be angry or offended at the thought of taking orders from me."

Jasper gaped at her, feeling a rush of shock and confusion. "What?" She cried. "Why would I have a problem with that?"

Pearl sighed again and looked back out over the sea, leaning heavily onto her elbows. "It's alright if you have a problem with it. I know that our... _situation_ here is very different from Homeworld. It's very easy to forget that, when it's just us here, but I want you to know that I understand. It's hard to get used to a gem like me... a defective pearl with her own mind." She whispered.

There was so much self loathing in that last statement that Jasper instantly wanted to hug the gem beside her. Garnet and Steven's words danced in her mind, telling her again to be more open to the ones around her. She brushed off the tingle of embarrassment and fear of Pearl's reaction and went with that sudden thought. She drew the pale gem into her arms and hugged her tightly.

"Wha-" She started to sputter, immediately tensing.

"You looked like you needed it." Jasper said simply, feeling suddenly embarrassed about her sudden action. Pearl stayed tense for a moment, before relaxing slightly. She didn't hug the warrior gem back, but she was letting Jasper hug her and that was enough to make Jasper feel a little less embarrassed. Jasper knew she needed to explain herself. "Look, Pearl. I'll admit that when I first reformed, I probably would have reacted badly to you giving me an order. I still thought like I was on Homeworld. Even seeing all of you interacting the way you did, baffled me." She admitted. "But I see it now. Earth is what's right. How things are done here... if Rose Quartz ever did anything right, it was teaching you all to be who you were and not what you were made for." Pearl tensed again at the sound of Rose's name.

Jasper pulled away and looked down at her, needing to see the expression on her face. The pale gem looked close to tears as she stared up at her, wide-eyed. There was still that hint of trepidation there, but now there was also a strange longing that she didn't quite understand. Even if she hated seeing anyone cry now, and even if the strange mix in Pearl's eyes left her not quite knowing how to feel, Jasper knew she had to finish what she was trying to say; that she had to try to make Pearl understand. She hadn't never truly had the chance to talk to the pale gem before, and might not get the chance to do so later. This might be the only opportunity she had to truly clear the air between the two of them and she didn't want to waste it.

"I know that I haven't had much time to prove myself. I know that it must seem strange, because of how I used to act and the things that I've done, but I _want_ to be here. I want to live here on Earth with all of you. With Lapis."She pushed aside the sudden pang of longing she felt for the slender gem and continued. "This is what's _right_ , Pearl!" She cried, unable to fight a smile as the wonderful feeling she got whenever she thought of her new purpose swelled within her. "All gems deserve this chance to be more than what they were made for! Even the corruptions. I know how you feel about them-" She rushed to add when she saw Pearl's eyebrows furrow slightly. "- but I can't help how I feel about them either. They deserve a chance too. Just like the one I've got now." She said earnestly. "Steven gave me this chance. He and Lapis and all of you showed me the way to an entirely new way of life. Rose started it, and I hated her for it." She said honestly. "But now, I truly wish I'd seen what she'd seen back then. If I had..." She sighed and dropped her hands from Pearl's shoulders, feeling a soul deep pang of regret. "Well, I see it now. And it's wonderful." She smiled down at Pearl again, seeing a sparkle of awe and sadness in the pale gem's wide, tear-filled eyes that somehow made her feel good and yet confused at the same time. "You're smart, deadly, and you love and protect Steven and Earth with everything you are. You've been fighting for what's right since before I even emerged. So no, Pearl, I won't be angry or offended by taking orders from you. In a way, it's an honor to fight with you at all."

For a long moment, Pearl simply stood there, staring up at her with that odd mix of emotion in her eyes. Then, to Jasper's utter surprise, the pale gem began to cry. The warrior gem immediately felt an immense wave of guilt. "Oh, no! I didn't to upset you!" She cried, hands held out uselessly towards the pale gem. "I'm sorry!"

But Pearl was shaking her head, dashing at the tears in her eyes. "No, no. You didn't." She spoke through the tears.

Confusion mixed with Jasper's guilt. "I didn't?"

"No..." She trailed of and took a shaky breath, trying to compose herself. "No, in fact, it's quite the opposite. I'm happy." The pale gem gave her a watery smile. "Hearing you say it... it gives me hope that one day, this war will truly be over."

Jasper felt a burst of happiness. "Really?"

Pearl's smile widened. "Yes." She laughed softly, though the sound was a little choked by her tears. "You may not realize this, but you sounded very much like Rose just then." Her tone was full of affection as she no doubt thought of the late quartz.

Jasper felt the strangest sense of awe at the words. "I did?"

Pearl nodded and Jasper couldn't help a smile. Suddenly, she got the urge to tell Pearl one of the new thoughts she'd had regarding Rose. It was strange, this urge to share. Even with Garnet and Amethyst she still felt a little guarded, but the warrior gem felt like she could trust Pearl as much as she could them; maybe even more. Opening up to her felt right in a way she didn't truly understand.

"You know." She began sheepishly. "Since I've started learning more about Earth, I've found myself wishing a few times that I could have truly met her, at least once." She admitted. "When you spoke of her and her love for Earth the night of the storm... I didn't fully understand what you meant then, but the longer I thought about it and the longer that I spent time with Steven and Lapis, the more I started to. She's the reason any of you had the chance to be here. The reason I have my own chance now, to be better than what I was." She smiled softly, feeling again that pang of regret for not seeing it sooner. "Earth is wonderful and she was the first gem to see it. She was the first one willing to fight for it. There are times that I still feel a little resentful towards her, because of my Diamond, but I like to think I understand a bit more about why she did what she did. And if Steven is as much like her as you all say, I feel like I would have liked to have known her. " Her words trailed off as Pearl's hands slipped up to cover her mouth.

More tears spilled from the pale gem's eyes, and her expression crumbled into one of utter grief and deep sorrow. Jasper felt another pang of guilt at the sight of them, yet, somehow, through the pain etched on the pearl's tear stained face, she saw a profound joy that baffled her to no end. She found the apology she had been about to utter frozen on her tongue as Pearl seemed to fight some internal war within herself.

Then, as quickly as it had come, the sudden fire in her eyes faded and her hands slipped down enough to reveal a huge, watery smile. "She would have liked you too, Jasper. More than you could ever know." Her words seemed to hold some hidden meaning that left the warrior gem feeling more than a little lost.

At the same time though, she felt the strangest sense of pride fill her at the thought. "You think so?" She asked, unable to keep a sudden hope from the query.

Pearl's smile transformed into a radiant expression of joy. "I _know_ she would have." Was her firm reply.

Jasper couldn't help but to return that big smile at the absolute certainty in Pearl's tone. After all, Pearl had been with Rose the longest and had loved her with everything she was. Each time she spoke of the late Rose Quartz, you couldn't help but to see that that overwhelming love still filled her entire being. If one who had been so very close to Rose told her that the rebellious leader would have liked her, then who was Jasper to say any different? Why the thought made her so very happy, Jasper didn't fully understand, but she let the feeling fill her without question; she was no longer the kind of gem who purposefully fought against her own happiness.

The door to the house swung open and Jasper looked over to see Steven smiling at them. The boy was wrapped in so many layers that he was waddling as he stepped outside. "I'm ready!" His voice was muffled almost to the point of being incomprehensible by several scarves.

Jasper laughed, feeling a burst of affection at his ridiculous appearance. "How on Earth are you going to be able to fight in all that?" She asked mirthfully.

"Like this!" He struggled for a moment and Jasper saw that he was trying to assume a fighting stance. He continued trying for a few moments, before giving up and standing as limply as the clothing would allow. She could see huge beads of sweat beading on his brow from the effort and chuckled.

Pearl let out a small laugh and went to him. She crouched and began unwinding one of the many scarves. "Maybe a few less layers would be better?"

He reached up and pulled the fabric from his mouth to reveal a sheepish smile. "You may be right." Jasper stepped forward, still chuckling, and crouched beside Pearl to help her peel a few articles of clothing from the over-encumbered boy. He tested his crouch a few times and then beamed up at them. "Okay. _Now_ I'm ready."

Pearl's tinkling giggle joined a laugh from Jasper as the pale gem began gathering the shed clothing. "Let's put these away and then we can go."

"Yes, ma'am!" He cried.

After hearing Pearl talk of herself the way she had earlier, Jasper was suddenly overcome with an urge to show Pearl that there truly were no hard feeling between them. She wanted to show Pearl that she found her just as important as the others. Humor had become something precious to her, and a way to make light of the things that upset her, so humor was how she wanted to express the sudden thought.

Quickly, the warrior gem snatched up a few items before Steven could reach for them. He blinked at her, seeming confused by the action and she responded with a furtive wink. She jerked her head at Pearl and lifted her gem in a pompous air, grinning mischievously. Steven caught the queue and grinned back. He assumed a serious expression and made a gallant show of holding the door for them as they stood.

With the sweeping bow she often used with Lapis, Jasper gestured for Pearl to enter the house before her. "After you, milady." She grinned.

Pearl blushed deeply, but smiled and stepped forward, lifting her nose the tiniest bit to match their pompous air. Jasper found herself delighted that the pale gem was playing along. "Thank you, madam. Thank you, my sir." Pearl said pompously, nodding her head down at Steven playfully.

He bowed deeply. "Most welcome, milady." He said, unable to fight a happy grin.

Jasper followed Pearl inside and Steven rushed to take the clothing from them with exaggerated care. Marching smartly, he carried them up to his room. The two gems laughed as they watched him struggle to keep his stepping time on the stairs.

Jasper grinned over at Pearl. "Amethyst is an idiot. You're plenty funny." She complemented mirthfully.

Pearl's blush flared again and she frowned slightly. "I simply don't find her brand of humor very amusing."

Jasper nodded, shrugging. "She means well, but I get it. I want to kick her butt more often that I don't. Lapis, too." She couldn't help but feel a pang of longing as she thought of Lapis again and looked back towards the door and the sounds of the sea beyond it. She'd forgotten to take a final look and regretted it, just a bit.

"I take it things with Lapis are going well?" There was a furtive hint to Pearl's tone that made Jasper glance around and regard her curiously.

"Yeah." She said tentatively. "I really like living with her. I'm learning so many things. She's taught me about art. Like sculpting and music. I really like it. I can't make things like she can. I can only copy the things I've seen or heard." Again, she felt the urge to tell Pearl her secret thoughts; it was strange, but she went with it. "It feels nice to make things, instead of just destroying." She smiled at the thought.

Pearl smiled back. "She and I have never really been close, but I'm glad to hear that the two of you are enjoying your time together."

"They sure are!" Steven chimed in, jumping the last few steps. "It's really great! Jasper even asked me to help her get Lapis a violin!"

The pale gem sent her a knowing look, a tiny smirk dancing across her lips. Jasper felt herself blush and glanced away. What did that look mean? "She did, did she?" She glanced back to see Pearl smiling affectionately at Steven. The pale gem reached out to ruffle his hair.

He smiled hugely and leaned against her. "Yeah! Lapis was really, really happy! And they played together so well." He pretended to swoon.

Jasper felt her blush burn brighter at the action and looked away again. "I knew that having one would make her happy." She admitted, tone a little gruff as she tried to hide her embarrassment. "I want her to be happy. If she's happy, I'm happy." She shrugged.

Pearl sighed. There was a weight to that sigh that seemed to hold an entire universe in a single breath. She looked back at them to see Pearl gazing at the portrait of Rose Quartz. A thousand emotions blazed in her sky blue eyes. "Doing it for her makes everything worth it." Her voice was steady and calm, but it held the same weight as that all-meaning sigh.

Jasper turned and gazed at the portrait of Rose too. As she looked at it again, she realized that she'd been unconsciously avoiding doing so every time she came here. Now, she made herself look and see it with these new thoughts and feelings. Again, she couldn't help but to find her beautiful and again felt that strange longing to truly know Rose swell with in her.

Then, Pearl sighed again. "We should go." She murmured, words wavering. "We have a lot of work to do. Earth needs us."

The warrior gem turned back to her and saw the pale gem looking away from the portrait as if it were too painful to see it any longer. Steven was still pressed against her, now looking up at her with worry and sadness. Silently, he turned and hugged the pale gem about the waist. Pearl blinked and looked down at him. She hugged him back and Jasper saw her expression slowly brighten as she looked down at the boy holding her. Affection and a somehow bittersweet happiness danced in her eyes as he pulled away to smile up at her.

"I love you, Pearl." He told her softly.

Pearl's eyes began to glisten with tears. "I love you too, Steven." She knelt and drew him into another hug. He returned it instantly.

Jasper watched them, her heart seeming to break even as it swelled with affection. Their bond was so evident in this moment. Pearl wanted to protect Steven as much as Steven wanted to protect her and they cared very deeply for one another. It was yet another display of the diverse facets of love that she was so new to experiencing. Again, she got the sense of rightness from seeing it. More than anything, love was what was right. When they parted, a burning determination was blazing in both of their eyes and Jasper felt it too. When they turned to her, she sent them a fierce smile. It was time to resume the fight for Earth; the fight to protect all of these wonderful facets of love.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANK YOU FOR READING!**

 **First things first, you guys are fantastic. Life has been an absolute roller coaster of highs and lows these past few weeks, so I'm sorry that this chapter took so much longer than usual. We still have a ways to go in this journey we are all taking, and I promise you, we WILL get there, even if it takes longer than I planned. There is so much more that I wish to express, but I find the words escaping me at the moment. Just know that I am here, enjoying this journey as much as you are and that I am so, so very happy we are in this together.**

 **Please stay safe as the holidays approach. I know that this is a time of togetherness with your loved ones, but taking time for yourself is important too. Don't let tradition get in the way of your own health and happiness.**

 **Always remember, loves. You are important. You are needed. You are an amazing individual and are everything you need to be. Look into a mirror and tell yourself that you matter. And yes, that person staring back at you might be a stranger some days and it can be scary, but don't be afraid to let yourself get to know that familiar stranger.**

 **Know yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself. Be the you that only you can be.**

 **Until next time, loves. Stay safe and read on. Ja.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 40**

 **Kitatanya**

 **A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Again, my loves, it has been far too long between chapters. I deeply apologize. I won't say more here. The journey awaits!**

 **Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Night had long since fallen. Jasper was exhausted and happy as she sped through warp space with an equally exhausted Peridot at her side. She'd scarcely had a moment to warp home and spend time with Lapis in the past few days, but she'd felt the same burning urge to finish their task as much as the other Crystal Gems. Steven had stayed the past few nights at the barn with Lapis so that he wouldn't be alone as he slept, while she and the others had warped and traveled to place the devices all over the globe. Each of the old transmitters and receivers had been replaced with the newer, more efficient models and Peridot and Pearl had led them all in a cheer as their newly constructed computer had blinked on to to reveal data already pouring from each of them. The network of transmitters was at last complete and they could all finally relax again. Steven was happily back in his own bed and Jasper couldn't wait to be back in hers with Lapis in her arms.

"You know, for being a construct who doesn't actually _need_ to sleep, the urge to do so is surprisingly strong once you get used to it." Peridot yawned as they appeared at their destination.

Jasper chuckled and fought a yawn of her own as she hopped lightly down from the pad. "It surprises me sometimes too, but I like it now."

Peridot hopped down beside her and they started towards the barn. They walked in comfortable silence. The brisk, gentle breeze left Jasper feeling a little more invigorated than she had before they'd arrived. She looked up to the sky, enjoying the sparse and wispy clouds that hung like a pattern of thin gauze below the glinting stars. The moon was a bare sliver in the sky and their glittering points seemed all the more radiant in contrast. It was a beautiful night.

As they neared the cheerily lit barn, Jasper could hear the faint sounds of music from Lapis' phone, Lapis' laughter, and a happily yipping Pumpkin. The warrior gem smiled at the happy sounds. Pumpkin, as always, sensed their approach and came bounding through the open door. The orange creature made a beeline for Peridot. The green gem had grown accustomed to the greeting and kneeled just in time to catch Pumpkin before the enthusiastic orange bundle could knock her to the ground.

Some of the tiredness left Peridot's eyes as she greeted her. "Hey, girl." She murmured softly, stroking her all over while simultaneously stopping her licking. Pumpkin seemed to sense the green gem's tiredness, because she calmed and simply arced against her, purring.

"Welcome home." Lapis called softly from the doorway. Her tone was full of happiness.

Jasper felt her heart swell at the sound of her voice and turned to send her a happy smile. "Glad to finally be back." She called softly. She glanced down at Peridot and stooped to pet Pumpkin as the affectionate creature came to greet her. "Want to come in for a minute?"

Peridot yawned and shook her head. "I think I'll just go on home. There's still a lot of work to be done and I need to be firing on all cylinders." She answered, standing. "I'll see you later, Lazuli!" She called to the slender gem in the doorway.

"Good night, Peridot." Lapis called back.

With a final wave, the green gem patted her leg to signal Pumpkin and started back to the warp. Jasper watched her go, wondering for a moment whether or not she should offer to walk her back. Her exhaustion seemed to hit with an even greater force at the thought and she decided against it. Peridot would be fine. Besides, Lapis was waiting for her. She looked back at her home and saw Lapis still standing in the doorway, framed in the light from within. The light breeze was still blowing, stirring her dress and hair lightly. She was stunning.

The warrior gem took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of contentment that the mere sight of Lapis could bring, and walked towards her. Lapis simply stood there, watching her, her smile happy and content. There was again that something in her eyes, beneath the affection and happiness sparkling there, that made Jasper's heart begin to pound. Her frazzled mind could make no sense of it, but it made her happy all the same.

The slender gem stepped out to meet her and Jasper drew her into a soft hug, lifting Lapis off of her feet so that she could hold her close. Something inside the warrior gem fully relaxed as she breathed in Lapis' scent and simply enjoyed the feel of the slender gem in her arms. She closed her eyes and she let herself drift away for a long moment. She was home.

Lapis held her tightly, before pulling away. She looked into Jasper's eyes and the warrior gem felt herself blush as Lapis seemed to search for something there. Ever so slowly, the slender gem cupped her cheek and the warrior gem let her face press into her soft hand, eyes drifting shut again of their own accord as she let herself simply enjoy the soft touch.

"You look so tired." Lapis murmured softly. She didn't sound particularly unhappy, but there was definitely a hint of worry in her tone.

Jasper blinked her eyes back open and saw her pouting slightly. "I'm okay." She whispered back. "We finally got it done. We can rest."

The slender gem didn't move for a long moment, staring deeply into Jasper's eyes. The warrior gem felt a tiny tingle of embarrassment at the scrutiny. "You need to sleep." Lapis whispered.

Jasper smiled. "Well, I don't _need_ to, but I'd definitely like to." She joked lightly. "But right now, I'm just happy to be home." She told her honestly.

The worry in Lapis' eyes faded into a soft delight. "I'm glad too." She pulled away and Jasper set her on her feet. Lapis reached out and took her hand. "Come on. Let's get you to bed." The warrior gem smiled at the soft order and let the slender gem pull her into their home.

She closed the door behind them and let Lapis lead her to the loft. Instead of letting them separate, Jasper drew Lapis into her arms again and lightly leaped up into their bedroom. "I'll get the lights and turn off the music." She told her.

The slender gem shook her head and pushed at her shoulder lightly. "You go lie down. I can do it."

Something in her eyes brooked no argument, so the warrior gem simply smiled again and did as she was told. As she stretched out along the covers, the music went silent and then, a moment later, the barn was plunged into darkness. A part of her tensed at the lack of light, but then she heard the sounds of Lapis moving closer and relaxed as the slender gem slipped into the bed beside her.

"Is the dark okay?" Lapis whispered softly.

Jasper hummed under her breath and pulled Lapis against her. "Yes."

The slender gem sighed softly and snuggled tightly into the warrior gem's chest as Jasper drew her closer, head pillowed on Jasper's bicep. Jasper let herself curl around the slender gem, wanting to be as close to her as possible. Lapis snaked an arm around her waist, letting their legs tangle together in the darkness. The warrior gem relaxed fully with a happy sigh of contentment.

Holding Lapis made all of her efforts over the last few days seem so small. All of her tiredness and aches were suddenly inconsequential. No matter what other good things came from fighting to protect Earth, and no matter how much she truly wanted other gems to have the chance she now had to live their lives the way gems only could here on this wonderful planet, this was what Jasper was truly fighting for; Lapis and the moments they shared together. It still astounded her how much she loved the gem in her arms. It was still so very wondrous that their dark past could have ever come to this. How had she lived so long without Lapis and the bond they now shared? It seemed impossible that she had never even glimpsed a fraction of the happiness that was now so great a part in every day of her life. And never could she have ever seen herself feeling the way she now felt about so many things.

She and the Crystal Gems were truly a team now. Even when they were working or fighting, the bonds she now shared with each of them were never strained or compromised. They were no longer gems she had been forced to accept or gems that had been forced to accept her. They were her friends now and she cherished each of them in her own way. And they seemed to feel that same way about her.

Jasper's talk with Pearl seemed to have a profound effect on the pale gem. It hadn't been Jasper's intention, but the pale gem had seemed to take her words about Amethyst's well meaning intentions to heart. Pearl had done her best not to be so overly harsh with her when their tasks had brought them together. The purple quartz had noticed her efforts and had tried her best to restrain herself from being so overly playful, displaying the facet of seriousness at her core. Amethyst was still a bundle of laughter and tricks, but she had worked just as hard as any of them over the past few days and had seemed to swell under the praise that Pearl had given her. With their bond rekindled and Jasper's new relationships with them all seeming to seal into something more real than ever before, their entire unit seemed to fall back into place and the warrior gem truly felt like a real part of it now. The few corruptions they'd faced had gone down with no trouble at all. Only once had the transmission been detected, and even then, it had only been a short burst that had burned like a comet in Jasper's mind, only to fizzle out a moment later. It had confused them all, but had only spurned them to work harder. The relative silence of the transmission as they'd set up their network had worried Peridot and Pearl, but both of them had also been thankful for the ease in which it allowed them to finish the monumental task. Jasper knew at her core that whatever was the source for the transmission was simply biding its time, and knew the other's knew it too, but she had been thankful as well; she knew that her mind was not yet strong enough to face its power. But, even if her mind was not yet strong enough to face it alone, now she knew that the Crystal Gems were willing to face it with her, no matter what it took.

Peridot had begun discussing a way to try to negate the transmission's effect on her. The warrior gem had no idea how the green gem planned to do so, but she was thankful that Peridot had thought of it while her mind was so focused on the task at hand. Jasper had not truly thought of asking for their help in dealing with the transmission's power before. Belatedly, she'd realized that even though she wanted to help each of them, she still was not used to the thought of asking for help for herself. It was something that she found herself struggling with and vowed to change that. If the Crystal Gems were truly her friends, then she need to be open with them about the things that could affect her when she was standing beside them in battle. She had to accept that asking for help did not make her weak, and instead gave the others a chance to work around what was affecting her and it would make them stronger in the end.

The multitude of thoughts came to a sudden stop as Lapis shifted against her. "Jasper?" She whispered softly.

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking right now?" Her tone was heavy with something Jasper couldn't interpret.

The warrior gem thought for a moment of brushing off the question with a lighter answer, but she sensed in that heaviness that the gem in her arms wanted the full truth. "About the fight for Earth. And the transmission." She answered.

Lapis made a small sound under her breath. "The one that makes you... lose control?" She asked softly, a hint of trepidation tinting the words.

Jasper nodded, though she knew Lapis couldn't see it. "Yeah. I've been talking about it with the others. Peridot wants to see if she can find a way to stop it from affecting me, but I'm not sure how she plans to do so." She sighed heavily. "It's been quiet lately, but we know that whatever is transmitting it is still there."

The slender gem hummed. "I wonder why it's never affected you here?"

The question pierced into the tired warrior gem's heart. The sudden thought of the transmission ever affecting her while she was near Lapis had her entire being recoiling in terror. She could be putting the gem she loved in terrible danger just by her mere presence! Why had she never thought of that before? The urge to run away roared to life inside of her.

She didn't realize she was pulling physically away from Lapis until the slender gem made a sound of protest and tightened her hold. "What's wrong?" She asked.

The warrior gem tried to push down her rising panic, but the thought of ever losing control of herself anywhere near Lapis was terrifying."I never thought about it affecting me here!" She cried. "I could be putting you in danger!" She pulled away again.

Lapis tightened her hold again, moving with the warrior gem as she tried to roll away. "Jasper, stop!" She cried. "Calm down!"

The warrior gem shook her head. "I don't want to risk hurting you!" Jasper growled back.

"You would _never_ hurt me, Jasper!" The vehemence of Lapis' words cut through Jasper's panic. She stopped trying to move away and lay still in the darkness. She felt Lapis move and suddenly, the slender gem was sitting astride her stomach, holding her down. A moment later, the warrior gem felt a soft touch on her cheek. "You would never hurt me." Lapis repeated firmly. Her voice cracked and the warrior gem felt something hot and wet hit her cheek. Another followed and another.

Were those... tears? Jasper felt her heart constrict in her chest and had to swallow a sudden lump in her throat. Slowly, she reached up and found Lapis' cheek in the darkness. The wetness there ripped a sob from her chest. Lapis was crying. Jasper had made her cry. The warrior gem didn't want Lapis to cry, but how could she stay and risk the transmission's awful power affecting her here? She felt like a fool for never having thought of it before. When she thought of all the time she'd spent here and all of the times that the transmission could have ruined everything she wanted to protect, her heart felt like it would shatter.

"How can you say I would never hurt you?" She sobbed. "You don't know how badly it affects me, Lapis! You _know_ what almost happened at the Kindergarten with Peridot and how badly Steven and the others have been hurt because of gems under the sway of it. How can you say I'd never hurt you, when I can't fully control myself under its power?"

Lapis was shaking above her, sobbing just as hard as she was. "Because you're _you_!" She cried. "Those gems out there aren't in their right minds! You only hurt Peridot because you were damaged! What happened in that Kindergarten was _my_ fault, Jasper. I was the one that hurt you and made you less able to defend yourself! If either of us should be worried about hurting the other, we should be worried about _me_!" The desperate shout sent a bolt of another kind terror through the warrior gem's form.

"No!" She sat bolt upright, drawing the sobbing Lapis into her arms. The now hysterical gem tried to pull away from her, but Jasper held her tightly. "You didn't mean to hurt me, Lapis! You weren't in your right mind!" She shouted.

"And how is that any different than the thought of you hurting me because of this transmission?" The slender gem shouted back.

Again, the warrior gem was frozen as Lapis words struck another chord within her. She wanted to deny those words, but she found that she couldn't. Even if she viewed her own pain and well being far less than she valued Lapis', she knew that Lapis didn't want her to think that way. She knew how much guilt the slender gem still carried; it was the same guilt she still carried. They had hurt each other, badly, but the both of them wanted so badly to make it right... If she left now to protect Lapis, would she be giving in to that guilt? Would she be validating the dark thoughts she'd had before; that some hurts were too great to overcome? And if she left, wouldn't that mean she was giving in to her own darkness and accepting that she was not strong enough to overcome it?

She could not accept that. She couldn't. Giving in to her fears was not the way forward. Every part of her knew it to be true.

Lapis was still crying, clinging to her now and Jasper felt more of her own tears fall. Lapis didn't want to give in to that darkness. Lapis had suffered far more than she had and was still willing to fight for their life together. She was wiling to risk herself for this happy life just as Jasper was willing to risk herself for it. The thought of what the future might hold was still terrifying, but right now, in this moment, she couldn't feel anything but thankful for the fact that Lapis wanted her to stay. Just as before, when Jasper had broken the sculpture that Lapis had worked on so long and so hard, Lapis was fighting to turn it into something better. The warrior gem could suddenly see that her attempt to run was the truly foolish choice. How could she ever turn away from this?

"I'm sorry, Lapis." She sobbed. "I'm sorry. I was just... scared."

"Don't you think I'm scared too, Jasper?" Lapis sobbed back harshly. "Don't you think I have the constant fear that I might lose control one day and hurt you again? That I might hurt Steven or Peridot or anyone else? Something inside me is broken, Jasper. And it hurts. It hurts so much!" Her voice was full of so much pain that Jasper felt her already tearing heart wrenched further. She could do nothing but hold Lapis tighter still as she continued to speak. "The only time I don't feel broken is when I'm with you! And I feel so selfish for it, because you're the one I hurt the most!" She cried, voice ragged with her tears and and agony that cut Jasper to the core. "I don't want you to go, Jasper. If you go... how will I see the light?" The last words were a breath of pain in Jasper's ear.

If Jasper had felt like she was breaking before, that one last desperate plea from Lapis was her undoing. She screamed, body bowing over Lapis' in her arms. Lapis bent with her, holding her so tightly that Jasper felt as if she'd never let go. Lapis' sobs wracked her entire form and the warrior gem was just as lost in her own tears. She had never felt so lost and so at home as she sat there in her bed with the gem she loved and screamed her pain into the darkness around them.

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Jasper awoke with a start, her entire body aching. When had she fallen asleep? Above her, she felt Lapis stir. Sunlight was pouring in through the windows of their home and, as Lapis sat up above her, eyes heavy and swollen, the warrior gem remembered the awful events of the night before. Apparently, they had cried themselves to sleep. Lapis looked just as exhausted as she felt and the warrior gem felt a surge of guilt. A pang of renewed sadness made her stinging eyes water once again. Lapis blinked down at her, her expression tender and sad. As Jasper saw more tears shimmer into Lapis' eyes as well, she reached up without a word and drew the slender gem back down onto her chest, holding her tightly.

Their tears this time were not so great as they had been last night. Somehow, these tears felt... lighter to Jasper, like they were pulling the sadness from her with every painful drop. It wasn't long before Jasper felt Lapis slowly begin to calm too. Silently, they lay there, simply holding each other. The warrior gem knew there were things she needed to say, but she found that the words wouldn't come. Her tears seemed to have pulled more than sadness from her as a numbness settled into its place. She didn't want to sleep, but she had no desire to move. She had no idea if Lapis had fallen back asleep, but found that she didn't have the strength to check. There was nothing but the numbness and the knowledge that no matter what else was happening, Lapis was in her arms, safe. That one fact seemed to be all she needed in that moment and she was too tired to question it.

Then, as if to mock her, Lapis' phone chimed from its place beside the television. Steven was the only one who ever messaged. Did they need her again today? A wave of despair quickly replaced the numbness in Jasper's soul. She did not know if she had the strength to face the world today.

Even admitting her moment of weakness to herself made her hate herself, just a little. No matter how broken she felt, she had made an oath to Earth and to herself. She had to go.

Lapis had gone rigid above her. As Jasper tried to find the motivation to move, she heard the slender gem let out a low growl into her chest. The dark sound sent Jasper's heart stuttering to a stop. Slowly, Lapis sat up, every controlled motion betraying a sudden anger that left the warrior gem frozen on the bed beneath her. There was a dark fury in the slender gem's eyes that sent tingles of terror roaring through her. Why was Lapis suddenly so furious?

"You are _not_ leaving today." The firm words were almost a snarl. The warrior gem said nothing and simply lay there as Lapis coalesced her wings and lifted off of her with one strong wing-beat. She flew to her phone and picked it up, hovering as she read the message, and then dialed Steven's number. "Hi, Steven." She greeted, her tone dripping with barely concealed rage. "No. Jasper can't come today. She needs to rest." Without waiting for a reply, she hung up. With trembling fingers she pressed the power button on the phone, shutting it off and then threw it back onto the box.

When she spun back around the warrior gem had to fight not to flinch away from the anger in her eyes. Lapis hovered there for a moment, still trembling violently. Jasper simply watched and waited. She had no idea how to react to Lapis' fury; what could she possibly say to calm her, without knowing the cause? Though she had tried not to show it, Lapis seemed to sense the struggle in Jasper's mind. With visible effort, she reigned in her rage and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. As she released it in a gusting sigh, she slowly lowered herself to the floor and folded her wings back into her gem. Slowly, every motion still tight and controlled, she walked back to the bed and sat heavily on the side of it, facing away from the still frozen warrior gem. For a few long minutes, she sat there, trembling. Jasper wanted to comfort her, do something to help her feel better, but she was still so very confused and frightened that she had no idea what to do.

"I'm sorry." Lapis said slowly. The apology was harsh, but Jasper could sense the genuineness in it.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked softly, finally finding the courage to roll over and face her.

"I just..." Lapis growled again, hands coming up to cover her face. "The thought of you leaving again after last night..." She sighed heavily, sagging further onto the bed. "You can go, if you want. I shouldn't have said no to Steven. I know that they need you and that you want to help them. I just... I know you're still tired and all I could think about was what happened when you went after Peridot. And how close you came to..." Her voice cracked and Jasper heard more tears in her voice. She could sit still no longer. Swiftly, she sat up and moved behind Lapis, wrapping her arms around the slender gem, wanting to comfort her. Lapis tensed for fraction of a second, before relaxing against her. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Jasper held her tighter. "Don't be sorry. I... I didn't really want to go." She admitted softly. "I would have, if you hadn't said no for me, but I really didn't want to."

"Really?" Lapis asked tentatively.

"Really." She sighed. "You're right. I am tired. I wouldn't have been at my best today." It hurt to say it out loud, but the urge to reassure Lapis was greater than the pain of admitting her moment of weakness. "I'm glad that you told Steven no. Even if it makes me feel a little guilty not to go help them, I would have been putting myself and all of them at risk like this."

"Then why would you have gone if I hadn't stopped you?" A trace of anger and worry tinted her tone.

Jasper shrugged. "Because I'm a fool and I'm stubborn. You know that." She joked, trying to make light of stating her faults.

Lapis sighed again, relaxing more fully against her. "Don't I ever." She replied dryly.

Her response drew a chuckle from the warrior gem. The humor seemed to drain the last of the tension from the air and Jasper let herself relax fully too. All at once, her exhaustion returned with a vengeance. She tried to fight a yawn, but failed.

"Do you want to lie back down?" Lapis asked her once the yawn had finished.

The question sounded like music to her ears. "Please."

She shifted back onto the bed and Lapis moved with her until they were stretch out on the mattress once more. Much like they had last night before their conversation, Jasper drew the slender gem into her chest. Lapis nuzzled her face under Jasper's chin and the warrior gem let out a happy sigh as they settled. As much as Jasper wanted to lie there and enjoy the fact that she was still her and that Lapis was still in her arms, her exhaustion was simply too great.

"Thank you, Lapis." She murmured.

"No, Jasper. Thank you." Lapis murmured back.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANK YOU FOR READING!**

 **I really am sorry, loves, for taking so long between chapters. I will be perfectly honest, this recovery is taking everything out of me. Finding the motivation to write has been... difficult to say the least. I am going to keep trying and I will update as soon as I can, so I thank you very much for your continued patience and support. You guys are fantastic. Truly. This journey is not yet finished and I look forward to seeing you all until the end.**

 **As always, loves. Stay safe and read on. Ja!**


	41. Chapter 41

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 41**

 **A/N: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!**

 **Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

The heavy storm had raged well into the night. As it had begun to slow, Jasper and Lapis had discovered that their electricity had been affected by the storm. Feeling far more energized than before, neither of them had wanted to go back to sleep. The early morning light found them lying on the couch together, talking softly about nothing and everything. Lapis was lying on her back atop Jasper, head pillowed on the warrior gem's shoulder. One of Jasper's arms was propped underneath her head, while the other was wrapped around Lapis' middle, holding her playfully prisoner. The slender gem didn't seemed to mind at all, and was holding Jasper's hand with one of her own. While Jasper was happy to see the new dawn approaching, she was loathe to abandon their cuddling.

She tightened her arm around Lapis for a brief moment at the thought. "So, your radiance. What's on the agenda for today?" She asked lightly.

Lapis hummed under her breath, fingers idly tracing patterns in the skin of the warrior gem's arm like she'd done often throughout the night. The familiar touch still sent tingles running through Jasper's form and she closed her eyes, simply enjoying it for a moment longer. "We can play some music together." She offered softly.

Jasper grinned hugely at the thought. "I like that idea. We haven't gotten to play much lately."

"I've been working on a new song." The slender gem said, sounding a little shy. "I can step you through your parts and we can practice it."

"Sounds fun!" The warrior gem cheered. "But can we wait until sunrise to move? I might catch a chill of you take my nice, soft blanket away." She joked, squeezing the slender gem again.

Lapis sighed a laugh. "Okay, but only until sunrise. If I lay on this lumpy mattress for too much longer, I won't be able to move!" She teased.

Jasper gasped in mock affront. "I am not _lumpy_!"

The slender gem wiggled slightly as if she were trying to get more comfortable. "If you say so." She affected a long-suffering sigh.

"Okay! That's it!" Jasper cried, letting go of the slender gem's hand. She quickly snatched her other arm from beneath her head and brought both hand's to Lapis' sides.

The slender gem immediately squeaked and tried to sit up, but Jasper began tickling her before she could get away. " _No_!" Lapis cried, instantly dissolving into a fit of forced laughter. Her body jerked and spasmed atop the warrior gem and Jasper laughed aloud as the slender gem threw herself sideways off of the couch.

She ended up sprawled out on the floor beside it. Panting, she glared up at Jasper. The warrior gem sent her a feral grin. "No escaping allowed!" She cried, rolling off of the couch after her.

Lapis let out another squeak and coalesced her wings as she scrambled away. The warrior gem reached for her ankle, but Lapis was already nearing the edge of the loft. In a move that sent Jasper's leaping into he throat, the slender gem let herself fall over the edge. A moment later, she was hovering in the air, face to face with the surprised warrior gem. Her relief at Lapis' save was instantly replaced by a thrill of happy terror as the slender gem narrowed her eyes threateningly.

"Run." Lapis growled.

Jasper grinned tauntingly at her and rolled to her feet. For a moment, she pondered her choices. She could try to feint towards the bed and then go for the door, or simply hope that Lapis would be too surprised to react to a more direct approach. The slender gem's eyes narrowed a fraction further and the warrior gem quickly dismissed that option. A bird-call from outside the window gave her a third option just in time. Lapis darted forward and Jasper barely managed to leap backward in time to avoid her grasping hand. Lapis glared at her, moving just a little to try and block the warrior gem's way to the door. Jasper simply smirked at her, before flipping herself backwards through the window.

"Jasper!" Lapis' alarmed cry followed her.

Still smirking, the warrior gem landed lightly on her feet on the rain-soaked grass and looked up to see Lapis grasping the windowsill, eyes wide with alarm. Jasper winked at her and the alarm faded into playful fury. "Too slow, Lazuli!" She called over her shoulder as she began to run away.

"I'll show you slow!" Lapis cried after her.

Jasper heard the sounds of rushing water and felt another tingle of exhilarated terror tickle up her spine. She prepared to dodge to the side as she sensed the slender gem rapidly gaining on her, but something suddenly snagged one of her feet. She was so surprised she barely caught herself on her elbows before her face crashed into the sodden earth. She rolled over to see what had tripped her, but at that moment, Lapis crashed down atop her. Jasper was toppled helplessly onto her back in the muddy grass. Stunned, she looked up at the slender gem sitting astride her. Lapis was smirking smugly, a mischievous humor sparkling in her eyes.

"You know, you should really learn to watch your _step._ " She teased.

Jasper frowned at her words and felt a sneaking suspicion swirl in her mind. She sat up and looked over Lapis' shoulder. Sure enough, a band of water was hooked upwards from the wet ground. As she watched, the tendril transformed into a tiny hand which waved at her, before bursting into vapor. She glared at the smirking slender gem. Despite the sneaky tactics, Jasper was more amused than upset; though she didn't appreciate the cold, clinging feel of the wet mud on her clothing and skin.

"Oi!" She growled, pretending to frown. "It's no fair to use your powers!"

The slender gem only smirked wider. "Aw, c'mon, Jasper. Don't be such a stick in the mud." She quipped.

Jasper grunted, still affecting a frown. She had half a mind to see how Lapis enjoyed being covered in mud too, but dismissed the thought. "Fine. You win!"

Eyes still sparkling with mirth and still highly smug, Lapis moved to stand so that Jasper could do the same. As the warrior gem stood, the slender gem took in her appearance and winced. "Sorry. You're filthy now."

Jasper shrugged and swatted futilely at the mud covering her. "It's fine. I'll just go for a swim in the pool." Lapis blinked at her, still looking guilty. Then as Jasper watched, something dark flashed through Lapis' navy eyes before the slender gem looked quickly away. "What's wrong?" She asked softly.

The slender gem shook her head. "Nothing." She took a deep breath and when she looked back up at the warrior gem, her eyes looked... wounded; it was the only way Jasper could describe it. But despite that strangely hurt look in her eyes, she smiled at Jasper and the smile was genuine.

Jasper quirked an eyebrow at her. She wanted to know what that dark thought had been. "Tell me, Lapis." She whispered softly. She reached out, intending on taking Lapis' cheek in her hand, but then noticed the mud on her palm and let it fall.

The slender gem almost flinched and then, to Jasper's surprise. Lapis reached for her muddy hand and brought it to her own face. Seeing Lapis press her flesh into Jasper's dirty hand, the warrior gem was strangely struck by the gesture. For some odd reason, it seemed so profound to see Lapis willing to touch her dirty flesh. And then a thought snapped into place.

She had put Lapis on a pedestal in her own mind. Jasper had raised her up, higher than even the Diamonds and treated her as such a lot of the time. She thought always of Lapis' great strength and the strength of her heart, even when Lapis was broken by the events around her and the dark memories she carried. She had faith in that great strength that Lapis carried within her, and the slender gem had always proved that faith to be true, but... In that moment, the warrior gem was suddenly struck by the fact that Lapis was just a normal gem; a normal gem like her. They'd both been born the same way, to the same society. Even if the circumstances of their lives had forced them to become stronger just to survive, and even if the both of them had survived so much horror and were rising above it, they were still only gems. Jasper was no greater or lesser than Lapis and Lapis was no greater or lesser then her. They simply _were_ and she wondered at how lost that fact had become to her. She realized then that even if she had stopped thinking of the Diamond hierarchy, a part of her had developed her own hierarchy with Lapis and the Crystal Gems and she had unwittingly placed herself at the bottom of it.

A sudden fire rippled through her chest. A burning thought flared to life in her mind. Through everything she had survived and all of the hatred she had felt, there had always been the one thing that had never changed; Jasper had always been her own worst enemy. Nothing she ever did was good enough for herself. Even now, as she was fighting for a new cause, living for a new purpose, and feeling so very differently than ever before, she still didn't truly think that she was worthy of any of it.

And she suddenly knew that feeling that way, thinking of herself as less than worthy, was an insult to the faith and trust and friendship she'd been given. For every moment of happiness that she had fought and cried for, she always recoiled and thought of multiple moments that she'd been unhappy and that was an insult to that happiness. She realized that even if Lapis and Steven and the Crystal Gems all truly trusted her, she was the one who still didn't trust herself. And for all of the love she felt for the ones around her, she didn't truly love herself. Not yet. She was learning to accept her flaws and acknowledge her weaknesses instead of hiding behind a perfect facade, but she still saw only them and not the good that she'd done. And she suddenly knew that that was wrong.

If she really wanted to stand beside the others and fight for Lapis and Earth then she needed to have faith in herself. If she was a true Crystal Gem, then she needed to trust herself like she trusted all of them. If she was a true friend to Steven and Lapis and the others, then she needed to be a friend for herself. And if her great love for Lapis was real, then she needed to love herself too; because how could she ever expect to hope that Lapis could ever return her feelings if that meant loving something that she herself hated?

All of her insecurities welled to the surface of her mind and, for the first time, she didn't let the weight of them crush her completely. She didn't push them away and try to ignore them. She let herself feel them and knew that even if they were valid, they weren't her truth. Not anymore. She might never truly be free of her sins or her past, and maybe she would fail a few times along the way, but she truly was no longer the person that accepted them as fact.

"C'mon." Lapis spoke softly, drawing Jasper from her thoughts. "I'll help you clean up."

The warrior gem smiled down at her, wanting to thank her, but not truly knowing what to say. "Okay." She said simply. Then her brows furrowed as Lapis stepped away from her and lifted her hands into the air. She heard the sound of rushing water and suddenly, she was surrounded by it. She couldn't help a small trickle of fear as she watched the globules that surrounded her slowly transform into wavering tendrils. "Lapis?" She called uncertainly.

The slender gem's eyes were bright and determined. "Just stand very still."

Jasper did as she was told. The tendrils began to wind their way around her body, gently soaking her in water. They drew away the mud on her body and in her hair, before retreating. The warrior gem expected to remain drenched, but the water that had soaked onto her skin and into her hair and clothing retreated too and she was left completely dry. Astonished, she watched the tendrils move to Lapis, slowly removing the mud on her legs and face before slipping back into the ground.

"I didn't know you could do that!" Jasper cried.

Lapis blushed, but looked pleased at the praise. "It took a little practice, but it was definitely worth it."

The warrior gem could only gape at her. She hadn't known that Lapis' control over water was _that_ fine. Then another thought occurred to her. "You mean you could have done something like that every time it rained and you never told me!" She cried indignantly, thinking of some of the miserable nights she'd spent on the couch after having been caught out in an unexpected storm.

The slender gem quirked an eyebrow. "I didn't know if it would really work before. _And_ you never asked." Jasper frowned as she had to concede to Lapis' point. The slender gem let out a soft giggle as the warrior gem pouted.

Jasper crossed her arms with a huff. "You're mean."

At that, Lapis laughed. "Fine. The next time I decide to try something new with my powers, I'll gladly ask you to be my experiment." The words were a playful threat.

Jasper immediately stopped pouting, head suddenly spinning with ways that that particular activity could go wrong. "On second thought, maybe I'm good."

"That's what I thought. Now, are we going to stand around in the mud all day or are we going to go play our instruments?" She asked in a pompous manner.

The warrior gem had all but forgotten that Lapis wanted to play today and new song she had mentioned. She was suddenly giddy with excitement to learn something new with her. She swept herself into a low bow. "After you, your radiance." Smiling hugely, Lapis started for the barn and Jasper followed a step behind.

 **0=0=0=0=0=0=0**

Jasper was happy. Her body was still tingling with the music she and Lapis had played throughout the day. But, as the day drew closer to the end, they had discovered a problem. Their power still had not returned. It wasn't that they minded the dark, but they still needed power to do any of their normal activities. The new moon would only just be beginning to wax tonight and it would be a few days before it's light was truly bright enough for them to see comfortably by outside and the ground was too wet for stargazing.

"We'll just have to call Steven and ask Peridot or Pearl for help." She called to Lapis as she straightened from checking the breaker box. She hated to admit defeat, but she was absolutely baffled. She was only glad they'd thought to check while they still had a little sunlight left.

Lapis let out a heavy sigh. "Okay. I need to apologize to him anyway." Jasper heard the dejection in her tone and turned to give her a soft, sympathetic smile. Lapis smiled ruefully back and then flew up to the loft to retrieve her phone. She had never turned it back on after hanging up on Steven the day before.

Jasper knew how guilty Lapis felt for her actions yesterday and she followed. As the slender gem hesitated on dialing Steven's number, she came up behind her, wrapping her arms around her trembling form. Lapis almost immediately sagged back against her, tilting her head back to give her a look filled with gratitude. Jasper only smiled and held her tightly.

She watched Lapis type in Steven's number and then hesitate again. "It's okay. He won't be mad." She whispered to her softly.

Lapis sighed. "You're right." She took a deep breath and tapped the symbol to send her call through.

Distantly, Jasper heard Steven's voice greeting her. "Hey, Steven." Lapis replied. She heard Steven continue to speak. Lapis tensed in her arms. "No. No. It was my fault!" She cried softly, sounding a little frantic.

"What's he saying?" Jasper asked, concerned.

"One sec, Steven." She pressed a button on the phone "I'm back." Lapis said to the phone, holding it away from her mouth. "You're on speaker."

"Hi, Jasper!" He greeted cheerily, voice projecting from the phone.

"Hey, Little Rose." She called back.

"I was just apologizing for yesterday." He answered the question that she'd asked a moment ago. The warrior gem hadn't realized he'd heard her. He rushed on before she could reply. "It wasn't a mission really and all of us didn't go. Garnet agreed that you needed to rest. I didn't think about how hard everyone has been working. And I know you and Lapis missed each other. I shouldn't have asked you to come!" He cried, sounding very guilty.

Jasper smiled at the sound of his voice, even if his guilt made her feel a little guilty too. "No, you're alright. But I'm glad you didn't really need me. I wouldn't have been much good to the team yesterday." She admitted. "Lapis was the one who realized I needed to rest. And I'm glad she did." The warrior gem spoke firmly, winking down at the slender gem in her arms.

Lapis blushed lightly. "I still shouldn't have been so harsh to either of you about it though." She muttered guiltily.

Jasper let out a soft laugh and heard Steven chuckle. "Yeah, you were kinda scary." Jasper teased softly, squeezing her a bit tighter.

"Just a little." Steven echoed. "But a _nice_ scary." He rushed to add. "It just shows how much you care about Jasper! That's a good thing!"

Lapis groaned, blush flaring brighter, and turned her head to try to hide it in Jasper's chest. The action was so adorable that the warrior gem felt herself flood with love and affection. She chuckled, feeling a wave of giddiness. "We should let her be scary more often if she's going to be this cute afterward." She joked.

" _Jasper!_ " Lapis gasped indignantly, lowering her hand to glare at the warrior gem. Her cheeks were brighter than ever.

Jasper roared a laugh and Steven's laughter bubbled through the phone. "What? It's true!" She cried softly.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to say in in front of _Steven_! It's _embarrassing_!" She muttered.

Jasper grinned hugely. "Steven doesn't mind. Do you, Steven?" She asked the phone.

The boy laughed again. "No. It's great!" He cried back happily. "I really like how you guys are such good friends now! It's like a dream come true!" He cooed.

At that, Jasper felt herself blushing too. She found her gaze drawn back to Lapis' and her heart skipped a beat in her chest. Lapis' eyes were sparkling. The warrior gem saw there again that strange something that she wished she could define. That strange something that sent the world tilting around her in the most delightful way. She wanted to know what it was so badly, but a part of her, a tiny, tiny part of her, was afraid to ask what it meant.

Steven continued, breaking her train of thought. "But, I'm guessing you guys didn't just call to chat. What's up?"

Jasper tore her gaze from Lapis' and the slender gem looked away, still blushing fiercely. The slender gem cleared her throat. "Well, I did really want to apologize, but you're right. There was a pretty bad storm last night and we lost power. We were wondering if you could ask Peridot or Pearl if they knew what to do. If they're not too busy, that is." She added hastily.

"I'm sure they have time." Steven said confidently. "I'll head back home and ask after I pick up something to eat. I was craving donuts. I won't be long."

"Take your time." Lapis told him. "We'll be okay."

"Okay." His determined tone didn't match the lighthearted reply and Jasper knew he would still hurry, despite what Lapis told him. "I'll let you what they say. Talk to you later!"

"Bye, Steven." Lapis replied softly. Jasper echoed her and the call disconnected.

Lapis sighed and lowered the phone. She seemed relieved. "I told you he wouldn't be mad." She whispered softly.

"I know." She sighed again, leaning more heavily back against her for a moment.

Jasper saw something dark flicker in Lapis' eyes before they closed. The warrior gem simply held her for a moment, before making a decision. Lapis needed a distraction from whatever dark thoughts were plaguing her in that moment.

"Let's go watch the sunset while we wait." She offered gently.

Lapis blinked open her eyes and tilted her head back to smile at her. "That sounds nice."

The warrior gem affected a smug smirk. "Of course, it does. It was _my_ idea." She teased softly.

Before Lapis could reply, she swept her off her feet and then leaped from the loft. She wanted to carry her out to their favorite spot, but knew the ground would still be too muddy to sit on. Instead, she walked to one of the new windows and set her delicately on the wide sill with her legs dangling outside so that she was facing the setting sun. The slender gem beamed up at her and Jasper smiled hugely back, pleased that Lapis was pleased. Gently, she took the phone that Lapis still held and slipped it into her pocket. Then, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the sill beside her and the two of them looked out towards the horizon. The sky was only just beginning to bleed with the brilliant colors she enjoyed so much. For a long moment, Jasper simply enjoyed the contented pleasure that watching the sunset that Lapis brought her. Then, she felt a gentle touch to her head. She glanced over to see Lapis blushing softly, before her fingers began drifting through the warrior gem's hair, scratching softly against her scalp. The delicate feel of the unexpected, but welcome touch sent a burst of happy tingles through her and Jasper let her eyes drift shut. Lapis had petted her before, but not like this. Slowly, lulled by the feel of it, the warrior gem let her head drift down until her chin was resting on her elbows. It was no wonder why Cat-Steven and Lion and Pumpkin enjoyed being scratched. It was wonderful. She felt utterly relaxed and felt a happy sound rumble in her chest.

Lapis' soft laugh roused her slightly. "I didn't know you could purr!" The slender gem teased softly. Jasper blinked open her eyes to look up at her. Lapis eyes were bright with mirth and affection.

The warrior gem blushed, but didn't try to stop the happy rumbling. "I didn't know I could either." She mumbled.

Lapis paused for a moment and Jasper barely bit back a sound of protest. "Is... is this okay?" She asked tentatively, looking away to try to hide her sudden blush.

Seeing the uncertainty in her demeanor made Jasper smile ruefully. These lingering idle touches that she and Lapis had begun to share more often embarrassed her too, but they were nice; even nicer than their hugs in their own way. Instead of answering aloud, Jasper simply moved slightly so her head was pressed against Lapis' side, prompting her to continue the petting. The slender gem breathed another laugh and began petting her again. The rumbling began again in Jasper's chest and she let herself drift for a long moment, feeling a sensation of utter bliss settle over her. She didn't even care if she missed the sunset, so long as Lapis didn't stop again.

"Jasper." Lapis soft voice roused her again. "Jasper, the phone."

She blinked open her eyes, and was mildly startled to see that the sky had turned much darker; she hadn't realized how much time had passed. She was still feeling very relaxed and didn't want to move, but then, she heard the sound of Lapis' phone ringing from her pocket. Clumisly, she straightened enough to free one arm so she could retrieve it. She handed the phone to Lapis before resuming her previous position. Even if the petting might not continue, the sleepy feeling of bliss lingered and Jasper wanted to selfishly indulge in it as long as she could.

"Hi, Steven." Lapis answered softly. "Just watching the sunset with Jasper." At the sound of her name, Lapis' fingers returned to her scalp and the warrior gem let out a happy groan without meaning to. The rumbling began again in her chest as she relaxed fully under the slender gem's touch once more. Lapis made a small amused sound under her breath and petted her more firmly. "That's fine." Lapis continued after a moment, her voice full of mirth. "I understand. We'll probably just go to sleep, then." She paused for a moment to listen to his reply. "No. If we need it we have my phone and a lantern. They should last us until morning if it doesn't. Tell them we said thanks." She paused again. "Okay. Good night."

Jasper wanted to know what Steven had said so she forced her sluggish mind to focus and not drift away under Lapis' petting. "What'd he say?" She mumbled.

"Peridot tapped our power from the humans nearby, so Pearl called the human authorities for us. Apparently, the lightning did some damage to their supply somehow. The humans are working on it, so we should have power before morning. He said he'd call to check on us when he woke up."

Jasper had honestly stopped caring about the power, but she knew they'd need it later. "That's nice." She murmured.

Lapis laughed softly. "C'mon, lazy." She teased softly. "We might as well sleep, since there's nothing else to do. We'll just be extra awake tomorrow, I guess." Jasper couldn't help a frown at the thought of moving. Lapis must have seen it, because she giggled. "Do you like head scratches that much?" She asked playfully.

Jasper pressed more firmly against her side. "Feels nice."

The slender gem laughed again, louder this time. "Now who's cute?" She whispered under her breath, stroking her head a little more gently.

Jasper wasn't sure she'd been meant to hear that. She felt a rush of acute embarrassment and felt her cheeks burn, but still didn't want to pull away. Was her pride more important than her happiness? Suddenly, she remembered a conversation she'd had long ago with Steven; the day that they'd traveled to the place of pink flowers. He'd told her indignantly then that warriors could be sweet. If they could be that, then why couldn't they be cute too? She'd never in a millennia have ever thought of being okay with the words 'cute' or 'sweet' ever being applied to herself, but if _Lapis_ was the one saying it... No. it was still too embarrassing.

She decided to ignore it and let out an exaggeratedly resigned sigh. "Fine. The bed is more comfortable to sleep on than the windowsill anyway." She grumbled, trying to sound extra grumpy as she stood up.

Before Lapis could get up, Jasper picked her up again and turned towards the dark interior of the barn. The sun had finished setting and the darkness was absolute within, but she had memorized the interior of her home long ago. With confidence, she stepped forward and leaped onto the loft. Lapis clung to her as they sailed through the air, letting out a soft gasp.

The warrior gem chuckled and walked blindy over to gently deposit her onto the bed. "Want me to put your phone away?" She asked.

"No. We can't charge it anyway so I'll just keep it here."

Jasper shrugged and climbed into bed beside her. She got comfortable and then rolled over to pull Lapis against her. To her surprise, Lapis resisted. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing. Scoot down a little." She ordered gently.

Jasper was confused, but did so. She felt the slender gem roll back onto her back, before moving a little higher on the bed. Then slender arms wrapped around her neck, pulling her closer. Utterly confused, The warrior gem let Lapis guide her body until her cheek was resting on Lapis chest and she was lying half atop the slender gem.

"Won't I squish you?" She asked, alarmed.

Lapis laughed. "No, Jasper. But this way, I can do this." Jasper immediately felt Lapis' fingers on her scalp again. This time, she was using both of her hands and the increased sensations left Jasper helpless to do anything but groan instantly, the fear of her greater weight hurting Lapis disappeared and she relaxed fully into the blissful pleasure of being petted. The happy rumbling began in her chest, louder than before. Lapis giggled softly. "Now _I_ have a secret weapon!" She murmured triumphantly.

Jasper was beyond caring how this would be used against her in the future. She was beyond caring about anything but the wonderful sensations on her scalp. At this moment, the Diamonds themselves could crash land outside their door and she wouldn't move to intercept them. She would happily lie here until she turned to dust, so long as Lapis didn't stop scratching.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **THANK YOU FOR READING!**

 **Got this chapter done much sooner than I thought I would and saw no reason to delay putting it out there. Not much plot again, I know, but I for one needed a gentle chapter. I'm still a sick and coming to terms with a few things is harder than I wish it was, but I'm still fighting, loves. We still have a journey to finish! Things will kick off again soon, so don't worry.**

 **I love you all so much. Thanks for being awesome. You have been greatly patient with me and I appreciate it! Consider this a holiday treat to you all. I appreciate all of the private messages and well wishers. Thank you very much. And I never forget all of my silent readers either! I've said it once and I'll say it every time til we're done, I'm truly grateful that you're all here, taking this journey with me.**

 **As this new year approaches, a time of reflection is ours once again. A time to be thankful for the things we have and the ones who have chosen to remain a part of our lives as we go forward into a new decade of life. It is also a time to stop and remember those who are not still with us and know in our hearts that no matter how long they have been gone, they will always be with us as we journey forth. No matter what battles you've faced and the things that you've lost, take the opportunity of this new year to look forward to all of the things that you can still gain if you keep going.**

 **Always remember, loves: The ending of one chapter is the beginning of another. It's up to you to keep writing your story. You never know who is just aching for the chance to read it!**

 **Until next time, loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	42. Chapter 42

**Pieces**

 **Chapter 42**

 **A/N: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!**

 **Happy New Year! Oh, loves, I tried so hard to get this chapter up on time and I'm SO very happy I managed it! This chapter is the longest chapter yet and you will all see why very shortly. Squee! We'll talk more at the end!**

 **READ ON, LOVES!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Jasper woke to the sound of Lapis' phone ringing. Her body was heavy with contentment and she didn't want to move, but a glance upward showed Lapis still sleeping peacefully. The early morning sunlight was gently flooding the barn and she saw the phone lying beside them on the bed. Carefully, so as not to stir the sleeping slender gem, she reached for it and gently lay her head back down on Lapis' stomach.

"'Lo?" She whispered sleepily.

"Hi, Jasper!" It was Steven; she should have known, but her mind was still very much asleep. "Sorry. Did I wake you?" He sounded a tad guilty.

"S'okay." She murmured. She had a foggy memory of Lapis telling her that he said he'd call to check on them this morning about their power. "But Lapis is still sleeping, so I have to be quiet."

"I'm awake." Lapis' sleepy voice came from above her.

"Sorry." Jasper said softly, raising her head to look at the sleepy gem. In her ear, Steven echoed the apology.

"It's alright." Lapis yawned as she rubbed at her droopy eyes. She looked adorably sleep tousled and the warrior gem couldn't help a soft smile. Lapis blinked down at her, smiling gently.

"Morning." Jasper murmured at her.

Lapis reached down and brushed a lock of Jasper's messy hair from her face. "Morning." The warrior gem leaned into her touch for a moment, before remembering she was on the phone. Wordlessly, she handed it to Lapis and the slender gem tapped the button to put the phone on speaker. "Morning, Steven." She greeted.

"Morning. Sorry I called so early." He apologized again.

"Don't apologize." Lapis chided affectionately. "We don't actually _need_ the sleep, remember?"

"Still." He grumbled. "Did your power ever come back on?" He asked quickly.

"No idea." She answered, glancing down at Jasper.

The warrior gem shrugged. "We had all the lights off before it went out. Let me go check really quick." Reluctantly, she rolled out of bed and walked to the switches on the wall. She flicked one and the barn was instantly flooded with more light. She let out an exaggerated cheer, sending Lapis a silly grin.

Lapis laughed at her antics and Jasper flicked the lights back off. "I take it that means it's back on?" Steven asked mirthfully.

"Yep." Lapis answered cheerily.

"That's great! Oh, one sec."

Jasper was walking back towards the bed as she heard Pearl's muffled voice talking to Steven. She couldn't make out their words, even after she'd climbed back onto it. He must have covered the speaker. She was still feeling heavy with sleep and wanted to cuddle with Lapis some more before they officially greeted the day, so she turned on her side and drew the slender gem into her arms. Lapis snuggled her back into Jasper chest with a tiny, happy sigh and settled, holding the phone out in front of them.

"Okay, I'm back." Steven's voice said clearly after a few moments. "Pearl wants to come over if that's okay?"

Jasper blinked in confusion. Pearl wanted to visit? That was a first. "I don't mind." She glanced at Lapis. "Do you?"

"No. She can come if she'd like." Lapis sounded as confused as she did as she replied.

"Great! She says she's got a few things to take care of and then she'll be over."

"You're not coming with her?" Lapis asked.

"No, sorry. I actually want to visit Lars. His parents gave me some stuff to give to him a few days ago, so I wanted to go drop it off."

Lapis sat bolt upright. "You're going back to space?!" She cried.

Jasper gaped at her. "Space?"

Lapis spun towards her, looking frantic, but Steven's voice cut her off before she could say anything. "Yeah. Lars is in space with the Off-Colors. Didn't I tell you that?"

"Off-Colors?" Jasper's head was spinning. She remembered him mentioning them to her, but had never asked him to elaborate; there had always been other things going on. "You mean defective gems?" She cried, sitting up beside Lapis.

"They aren't defective!" Steven cried, sounding suddenly angry.

Jasper winced. She'd spoken without thinking. She'd already begun to think differently about the corruptions. Surely off colored gems deserved the same opportunities as other gems; didn't they? "My bad. I was just surprised, that's all." She apologized earnestly.

Steven let out a heavy sigh. "It's okay, Jasper. I know you didn't really mean it." He said softly. Then he continued, sounding much more cheerful. "They're pretty cool. I promise."

Lapis suddenly grasped the phone with both hands. "Steven, _please,_ be careful!" Her tone was trembling with desperate worry. Jasper reached for her wrapping an arm around her waist, but even her touch did nothing to calm the frantic gem.

Why was Lapis so terrified? Would Steven be in danger? He spoke before Jasper could ask. "Don't worry, Lapis. Garnet and Connie are coming with me. And Lars is strong now. And so are the Off Colors! Remember how I told you about the ship they stole from Emerald?"

"Emerald?" Jasper echoed, confused. "Wait _the_ Emerald? The commander of the biggest fleet in Homeworld history?!" She asked unable to hide the terror filled awe in her voice.

Steven hummed. "I'm not really sure. She seemed kind've important I guess. And she was really mad because they took her ship. The Sun Incinerator is what she called it."

So it _was_ that Emerald! "They _stole_ the _Sun Incinerator_?! How?!" She cried.

She was unable to conceive how one human boy and a handful of defective gems had managed such a feat. Emerald was one of the highest ranking gems she had ever served directly under; barring the Diamonds themselves. And she was also one of the most terrifying. Jasper had been assigned to once and that once was enough for a lifetime. The warrior gem had been tasked to escort her and a section of her fleet to one of the few planets in one of the outreaching galaxies. It was one of a rare few that had managed to thwart the first few waves of Homeworld's forces. She shuddered at the horrifying memory of Emerald's ruthless commands. Never again would they let another planet ever stand against Homeworld like Earth; Emerald had made sure of that. Even then, when Jasper had seen the destruction of lesser planets and the eradication of what the Diamonds had deemed 'unpure' forms of life as the natural order, she had found it horrifying to witness Emerald's cruelty.

Steven's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "It's a long story. Trust me. But I have to go. Garnet's waiting and we have to go pick Connie up. How about I call after we're back and tell you about it? And Lapis?"

She leaned towards the phone, still looking terrified. "Yes?"

"I promise you, I'll be fine." He said firmly. "We all will. I'll talk you tonight. Okay?"

Lapis looked like she wanted to protest, but a moment later, she sagged, letting out a heavy sigh. "Okay."

The moment that the call disconnected, her entire bod began to tremble so hard that her teeth were chattering. She wasn't crying, but her eyes had a look of distant horror about them; like she was caught in some kind of waking nightmare. Jasper felt her heart wrench in her chest. She was shocked and confused by Steven's story and Lapis' desperate fear and worry had her feeling on edge, but Lapis' comfort was more important to her in that moment. She drew the trembling gem sideways into her lap, holding her tightly.

"Shh." She soothed, drawing a hand up to pet Lapis' hair gently. "It's okay, Lapis."

She felt herself rocking back and forth, her own roiling emotions too strong to remain still. The motion comforted her, so maybe it would comfort Lapis too. She expected Lapis to cry, but her tormented eyes were strangely devoid of tears. The warrior gem didn't think that anything could be more painful that watching the gem she loved cry, but this expression, the hollow terrified agony on her dark, navy eyes reminded Jasper acutely of the day that Lapis had lost control; it was a terrifying reminder of the madness she had been at the mercy of when they had been Malachite.

She felt a surge of panic and held Lapis even tighter than before, locking her muscles into place. She hadn't let go then and she wouldn't let go now. Nothing would ever make her let go. That was one thing about herself that she never wanted to change; her pride as a jasper and knowing that jaspers were made to _never_ give up. Her own panic faded as she felt her determination to protect what she loved flare within her once more. Jasper loved Lapis and she knew with certainty that no matter what came next, she would protect the slender gem in her arms for the rest of her existence.

An immeasurable amount of time passed, before she heard Lapis take a deep breath and finally relax a little into Jasper's embrace. "Thank you." She mumbled, voice trembling. "I'm sorry for freaking out." Her tone was heavy with self degradation.

"Shh." Jasper shushed her. "Don't apologize. I've got you, Lapis. No matter what." She promised firmly.

Lapis sighed. "It's just...I'm not strong like you, Jasper... I promised myself I wouldn't let my memories do this to me anymore... that I'd stop letting them make me so weak." Her voice was tiny and pained.

Jasper paused in her rocking, unable to resist giving the gem in her arms a sharp look. "You're not weak!" She said firmly, feeling a flicker of anger at the thought of Lapis talking down about herself.

Lapis blinked up at her. Her expression shifted from surprised to angry in the span of a heartbeat. "How can you say that?"

Instead of letting herself rise to the challenge in Lapis eyes, Jasper forced her flicker of anger away; heated words would get her nowhere. "Because I _see_ you, Lapis." She said earnestly. "I see how hard you're trying. I see how hard you're fighting. A weak person would just give in to their darkness, but you aren't. You never have."

Lapis looked away swiftly, drawing slightly away from Jasper as if she were recoiling from some great pain. "I did when we were Malachite." She whispered, tone heavy with despair.

Jasper winced at her mention of their fusion following so swiftly on the heels of her own thoughts about it. "Didn't we already talk about how she wasn't really us, Lapis? Not the real us. The ones we are now? You aren't the same Lapis Lazuli that I fused with and I'm not the same Jasper." She reasoned.

"It was still a part of me! A part of this me did that to us! It's still there, Jasper! Why can't you see that?" Lapis snapped.

"Because that one part doesn't define you!" Jasper snapped back. A sudden thought sent pain lancing through her pounding heart. It tumbled out before she could stop it. "If you honestly still think you're the you that you were then, then that means you have to think I'm the same me that I was then too!" She was unable hide the pain the thought had brought her.

Lapis stiffened and jerked her head up, eyes wide with confusion and pain. "No! No, I could _never_ think that!" She cried.

"Then why can't you see that you're not that person anymore either?" Jasper lifted her hand, cupping Lapis' cheek so that the slender gem couldn't look away again. "Lapis, you're _wonderful_!" She said earnestly, all but begging her to hear and accept the words she was saying. "You really are. You're brave and smart and funny. You can make such wonderful things and such beautiful music. You helped me pick myself up when I thought I'd never stand again. You helped me to see how much I want to fight for the things I care about and how much I want to protect this planet and everything on it with everything I have."

 _You helped me learn to love, Lapis!_ The words caught in her throat, even as she burned to say them aloud. She was left staring helplessly down into Lapis' eyes; those eyes that were finally sparking again with more than fear and desperation. A few tears sparkled there, but there was a happiness behind them and a sort of awe that left the warrior gem feeling torn. She wanted to cheer and cry at the same time; the odd mix was becoming more and more familiar as the days went by.

Instead of her deepest truth, different words poured from her; a different kind of truth. "You came back to this planet after fear drove you away. You came back to make things right, even if it meant facing those fears and trying to learn to work around them. I've seen you face things that scared me, things I didn't even want to think about because they hurt. A weak person could never do those things, Lapis."

Lapis let out a tiny sob and more tears fell from her eyes. "Some of those things I could only face because _you_ were here!" She cried. "I might have come back, but I wasn't really here, Jasper! I was just as alone here as I was in space because I couldn't face the things that I'd done!"

Jasper felt her heart give another wrench in her chest with a sudden guilt. "But, Lapis, you _did_ try! Remember? You came to face Steven and the others and who knows what might have happened, but _I_ was there! I ruined that for you! If I hadn't been there, if I'd just... stayed outside and let you reunite with him and the others before you saw me, maybe things would have been better..." She felt tears gather in her own eyes and let them fall.

Lapis made a tiny sound of protest and reached up to cup Jasper's tear-stained face in her hands. "No, Jasper. It wouldn't have been." She said firmly. "The day I came back...after you... left, Jasper, the others..." Lapis' words caught in her throat and she looked down, as if it hurt to much to look at her anymore, her and falling back down into her lap. Jasper let her pull away a little. Lapis had hinted at it, but she had never actually told Jasper what happened afterward. About the real reasons she'd stayed away after coming back to Earth. If Lapis was finally willing to share it, Jasper would listen. "Amethyst was looking at me like she hated me. Like she wished I'd never tried to come back. Pearl and Garnet were happy for Steven, but I could tell they didn't truly trust me anymore... It brought it all back. All of the hate. The hate that I took out on you as Malachite...I thought then that you'd told them the truth about... her. The truth about what I'd done to you..." She let out a wavering breath and Jasper could see that she was trying to force out the things she felt she needed to say. Even if I almost hurt to remain silent, she did it, because she knew that sharing this pain was something Lapis felt she needed to do. "I... I almost ran again, but Peridot..." The green gem's name was a drop of pain from Lapis' lips. Her eyes were full of so much pain then, that Jasper felt her heart clench in sympathy. "... Peridot was so happy to see me. Even if she hid it, I could tell. She was as happy to see me as Steven. If you'd told her the truth, I couldn't see why she'd ever want to be around me... So, when she asked to come back here with me, I said yes without thinking. And we tried. Both of us did. We tried living how we had before, but... it just wasn't the same." She sounded so defeated as she spoke, that it pulled more tears from Jasper's eyes. "We couldn't talk like we used to. Even if she never said anything about it, I'd seen her move on without me. I'd seen the kind of life she could have without me here, weighing her down... She still doesn't know how I watched her... Steven never told her... and I realized you really hadn't told her about Malachite... about my darkness... and I just couldn't!" She cried, more tears falling from her wounded eyes. "I couldn't talk to her about it! It hurt too much!" She screamed through her tears. " And I got... so mad at myself for not being able to talk to her! And instead of telling her all the things I wanted to say, I said bad things to her. We fought... " She sobbed. "I couldn't tell her the truth, but I couldn't live with the lies... and she left... and I was alone... until you came." Her tear-filled voice held a hint of wonder, but also a deep, deep darkness. "And even after I reacted the way I did, after I hurt you... you stayed... and I realized that you did know. You knew the truth... and it was so freeing, Jasper!" She jerked in Jasper's arms, startling the warrior gem.

Jasper instinctively tightened her grip, fearing the worst, but Lapis didn't try to get away. Instead, she grasped her hair in her hands, pulling at it as she screamed. "How twisted of a person do you have to be to be relieved about talking about the badness with the one you hurt by it!? But you were _here_! You didn't run away! Even when I could tell that you were still scared of me, even when you pushed yourself to tell me the truth... you always tried to make me feel better even if it hurt you! And I _let_ you! You made me believe that maybe we could make things better. That _I_ could be better! But I'm not! I'm still that person who runs away and hides when things get tough! You, Jasper, you're fighting again! You're trying to make everything better, but I just feel like I keep taking steps backwards. Like nothing's really changing at all. And I _hate_ it! I hate it so much! But I don't know how to _fix_ it!"

Jasper was suddenly struck by the thoughts she'd had before. About the realization that even if she knew that Lapis was strong, she was still just a normal gem. A normal gem who faced so much horror. It hurt to realize just how much Lapis had been hiding from her. Jasper had felt guilty at times, for not sharing everything with the gem in her arms, but she realized that Lapis hadn't either. Lapis had been trying to protect her all this time, when she thought that she'd been the one protecting Lapis. And then, like a bolt of lightning, she could see the truth: They'd both been protecting each other. They'd both hidden things. They'd both been telling lies to themselves. Everything they had done, all of the healing and the tears and the pain, they'd faced it together.

She could remain silent no longer. "Oh, Lapis... there's nothing to fix! Can't you see? It already _is_ better! I mean, just look at what we've done!" She cried, tilting Lapis' face up towards her and gesturing out to their home. "Look at all these wonderful things we've done! We did this _together_." She said firmly. "You've never hurt me more than I've hurt you! We hurt _each other,_ Lapis!I'm no stronger than you, and you're no stronger than me! We just _are_! And we're _both_ trying to make it better!" Lapis was staring up at her now, almost gaping. Jasper was so frantic with trying to explain, she couldn't even begin to unravel the emotions swirling in those tear-filled navy depths. "So s _top_ trying to carry it all by yourself, Lapis. Let me help you, just like you've helped me. Please?" She couldn't help the tiny plea.

Something flashed through Lapis' eyes and a moment later, she turned in Jasper's arms, throwing herself into the warrior gem's chest. Jasper immediately tightened her hold, squeezing Lapis tightly against her as Lapis arms wound around her. The gesture spoke more than words ever could. They'd hugged many times, cried together many times, and had fought over their past and their feelings more than once, but it felt so very different this time. She hadn't thought it was possible to feel any closer to Lapis than she already did, but she had been wrong. Looking back, she could see now the times that Lapis had pulled away. She could see the conflicts that she hadn't before. Even if she'd opened up to Lapis, she knew now that Lapis, for all that she'd shared, still hadn't opened up about her deepest feelings. The thought hurt. It did. But beyond that hurt, she could be thankful that now Lapis was truly opening up to her. And she could also be thankful that she herself was now strong enough to help her. Whatever it took, whatever tears Lapis cried or no matter how many times she stumbled, Jasper would be beside her through it all.

 **0=0=0=0=0**

It was some time later before the two gems actually made it out of bed. Lapis had cried and then gone silent in her arms. It hadn't been a melancholy silence, but simply Lapis letting herself be held and Jasper had been happy to sit and enjoy it. But eventually, they had both grown restless. They'd taken a short walk, enjoying the nice weather, before coming back inside and now, Jasper was happily learning something new. Steven had, unbeknownst to the warrior gem, brought new paints for Lapis. Not large buckets, but smallish tubes in a veritable rainbow of colors. They weren't enough to paint giant murals like the one Lapis had done around the aquarium or the morps, but enough for them to do small things; almost like a picture hanging on the wall, except painted directly onto it, Jasper surmised. After a quick and playful crash course, Lapis had urged Jasper to try to paint something on her own. Again, the warrior gem found that she couldn't make things out of nothing like Lapis and instead had to stick to things she'd seen before, but she didn't truly mind. It only meant that she could bring the wonder of the outside world into their home; like she'd done with her sculptures and the covers she'd made for the support beams.

"You know, I'm almost jealous." Lapis said lightly from beside her.

Jasper blinked in confusion and glanced over to see Lapis studying the little slice of forest Jasper had decided to paint. It was the forest she had visited for the wood they'd used; the one that she'd gone to the first time with Steven and the Crystal Gems to fight a corruption. She was trying to capture the sunset she'd seen on that first visit, when the sky and mountains and the little stream had seemed to be on fire all at once. It wasn't anywhere near as radiant in paint, but she was trying her best.

"Why is that?" She asked, mimicking Lapis' tone.

"Because everything you make looks so _real_!" Lapis cried, smiling.

Jasper blushed. "Not really." She mumbled self consciously. "It looks way better in person."

Lapis scoffed and smacked her shoulder lightly. "Don't talk down about it. It looks amazing."

"It does!" Cried a familiar voice from behind them. The both of them spun to see Pearl standing in the doorway. Smiling, she knocked lightly on the frame. "Mind if I come in?"

Jasper had forgotten that Pearl was coming for a visit, but she was surprisingly happy to see the pale gem. She glanced at Lapis and the slender gem smiled and waved at Pearl. "Sure."

"Thanks." She stepped inside and looked around wonderingly as she walked towards them. "It really is astounding what you two have done here." She praised.

Jasper realized belatedly that this was the first time that Pearl had come inside since the first time the Crystal Gems had come to visit. She quickly dismissed the thought before she could dwell on the awful events that had followed. Instead she focused on the here and now.

"It was fun." She said simply, grinning at Lapis.

"It was." The slender gem smiled softly back.

Pearl made a humming sound under her breath and Jasper glanced back to see her studying them with a happily reflective expression. "That's wonderful." She smiled. "I've never had an affinity for art, but I can enjoy it when it's done well." She glanced around again. "And I must say, this is done very well."

Jasper found herself blushing under the praise and saw Lapis blushing brightly beside her. "Thanks." They murmured together.

Pearl laughed softly. "Alright. I didn't come to embarrass you." She cried mirthfully. "I actually came to ask you two for a favor."

"What's up?" Jasper asked lightly, glad to be free of the praise even if it made her feel good.

The pale gem seemed very excited as she looked to Lapis. "Do you remember how we had Steven's birthday party here last year?"

 _Birthday party?_ Jasper thought, confused. Lapis instantly lit up and replied happily before the warrior gem could ask. "Yes! It was fun!" Then she frowned. "Until Steven lost control of his powers, that is." Jasper was instantly more confused and intrigued, but stayed silent. She could ask later.

Pearl was frowning too. "Yes, that was unfortunate." She mumbled reflectively. Then she brightened again. "But he has much more control now so we shouldn't have to worry about that this year."

Lapis seemed reassured by Pearl's firm certainty. "You're right. So what was the favor?"

"Well, with all of this crazy going on, I thought that it would be nice for him to have some normalcy. I know it's terribly short notice with it being just two days from now, but would it be too much to ask for you to host again this year?"

Lapis instantly stiffened and a flicker of terror flashed through her eyes for just a fraction of a moment, though her expression remained unchanged. Instantly, Jasper wanted to drawn Lapis into her arms, but she hesitated. Lapis was putting so much effort into maintaining the happy facade for Pearl. She was trying to ignore whatever thoughts were plaguing her and Jasper could not undermine that effort by showing that she'd seen it. With great effort, she forced herself to remain still and keep smiling.

"No." Lapis replied in an overly cheerful tone. "We'd be happy to. Right, Jasper?" She asked, looking up at her.

There was a certain wildness in her eyes that worried the warrior gem to no end, but she could only go by what Lapis was saying aloud. "Of course, we would." She tried her best to sound happy about the prospect and forced a smile at Pearl.

At once, she knew that Pearl had noticed Lapis' reaction, but she continued smiling happily too, pretending to be oblivious. "Splendid!" She cried. "And as I said, I know it's terribly short notice, but there was simply no time to plan before now." She said apologetically. "I'll put together a guest list and we'll provide all of the decorations and supplies, so you don't have to worry about a thing!"

Lapis shook her head. "I don't mind decorating at least. If you can bring them, we can set everything up. It'll be fun." She sounded like she was trying to make herself believe the words, but the offer was genuine behind the trepidation of her tone.

Pearl studied her for a moment, before sighing. The happy facade dropped as she stepped toward them with a concerned frown. "Lapis. I know we've had our differences, but can we be honest with each other?" She asked softly. "Please?"

Lapis hesitated for a moment, before sagging and allowing her trepidation to show. "Okay."

Jasper was acutely relieved and let her own forced smile drop. If they were being honest then she could too. In a swift motion, she reached for Lapis drew the slender gem against her side. Lapis wrapped an arm around her waist, clinging to her for a brief moment, before giving her a smile that was filled with gratitude.

"That's better." Pearl murmured softly. Her tone was bittersweet, with sadness and happiness melded together. Jasper glanced over to see that the pale gem was smiling tenderly at them. "Don't be ashamed of your emotions." She said firmly to Lapis. "Steven mentioned that you've been having a bit of trouble since you came back, Lapis. Don't be angry with him. He was only worried about you." She added earnestly.

Lapis shook her head. "I'm not mad. I'm only sorry for worrying him." The words were full of pain.

Jasper squeezed her tighter. "It's _Steven_ , Lapis. He'd still worry about all of us even if we were perfectly happy all the time." She joked, trying to make her feel a little better.

The slender gem rewarded her with a soft laugh. "True." She murmured.

"He has such a big heart." Pearl sighed heavily. "He sees more than he lets on and hides what he knows more often than not. Just like his mother." She muttered the last. The words were affectionate, but laced with grief. Her eyes were distant, staring beyond them into the world of her own memories for a long moment, before she shook herself. "It's humbling to see him try to be so strong in the face of so many problems and worries. For all that he is so young, he's more mature than all of us in his own way. And for all that I'm so old, I should be following his example." She said with a self depreciating chuckle. She focused back on Lapis and her eyes grew serious. "If it's too much for you we can have the party elsewhere, Lapis."

The slender gem shook her head. "No. It's fine." She said earnestly. "Like I said. It was fun. I just... can't help worrying, you know?"

Pearl smiled, eyes full of sympathy. "Oh, I know. But, if it helps, I talked to Garnet about it last night and she doesn't see anything horrible happening. She just told me to tell all of our human guests to bring extra clothes, though I can't fathom why." She frowned lightly, obviously pondering the vague statement. Jasper bit her cheek against a smile. Garnet had a wicked sense of humor and the warrior gem found herself greatly looking forward to whatever the fusion may have seen happen.

Lapis seemed greatly reassured by Garnet's prediction. "Then I'll try to stop worrying." She said the words like a promise.

Jasper laughed and shook Lapis the tiniest bit. "If only that were actually possible." She joked. "The hazards of having a nerdy brain to make you think to much." Lapis pouted at her, but Pearl grinned, humor dancing in her pale blue eyes.

"Well, now that that's settled, I'll just go retrieve the supplies." Pearl said happily, turning towards the door. "I'll be back shortly to drop them off."

"If you need help carrying anything, just call." Lapis called after her. "I'll send this dork to help you." She joked, jerking her thumb at Jasper.

The warrior gem feigned offense as Pearl glanced back. The pale gem laughed loudly as she reached the door. "Will do." She called back with a tiny wave. She stepped outside, still chuckling to herself.

Jasper kept up her offended act as Lapis looked up at her. At the sight of her expression, Lapis giggled and rolled her eyes. "Hush."

The warrior gem dropped her act and smiled. "Okay, but only because you asked so nicely." She teased.

Lapis giggled again and looked around. "Well. I guess since we're hosting a party, we should probably get this place cleaned up."

Jasper couldn't resist letting out a heavy sigh at the thought of cleaning, but as always, she didn't argue. "Where do we start?"

 **0=0=0=0=0**

Jasper paused at the doorway and brushed herself off. Wood-chips and dust scattered into the air around her and she waved them away before stepping inside. "The fire pit is done!" She called to Lapis, who was hanging streamers and strings of star-shaped lights from the ceiling.

"Did you have room for all of the seating?" Lapis called down to her, sounding a little frantic, but not looking away from her task.

"Yep!" She cried happily.

She'd surrounded the pit with stumps and logs from the forest that Lapis had helped her to carve rough seats from and smooth out. They'd decided on a camping theme for the party and Pearl had happily agreed. As the pale had brought box after box of decorations and the three of them had planned out the party, Lapis had worked herself to the bone trying to make everything as perfect as possible.

"And the tents?" Lapis asked worriedly breaking her thoughts.

"They're just how you and Pearl wanted them. Don't worry!" Jasper cried. She was unable to resist a laugh as she watched Lapis flit overhead like a crazed fairy. "I know tomorrow is a big day for Steven, but you know he won't care about perfection. He'll-"

"-just be happy to be here with all of us." Lapis finished for her. "I know. I just..." She sighed heavily, flying down to her. "It's the first time everyone will really be here together since..." Jasper winced as the slender blue gem hunched in on herself.

Memories of that awful day swarmed her. She immediately shook herself free of them and reached for Lapis, pulling the slender gem into a tight hug. Lapis hugged her back fiercely and the tall warrior gem felt her trembling. An intense wave of protectiveness fluttered through her. She would never let anything like what had happened that day happen ever again. In a way, she almost wanted to call off this party altogether, now that that awful memory had its jaws on her once more; but she knew they couldn't. And she knew that even if Lapis was scared, the slender gem would never forgive herself if she backed out now. She'd been so very excited as she'd begun the decoration process after her initial trepidation had faded. Now, it seemed all of that trepidation had come back ten-fold.

"Oh, Lapis." She whispered, trying to reassure her. "Pearl said that Garnet saw that nothing bad is going to happen. Everything is going to be okay."

"But how can we know for sure?" Lapis replied shakily. Her voice was a waver of sound.

Jasper hesitated, wondering how to answer, but she knew she could never lie to Lapis. "We don't." She admitted softly.

Lapis drew away from her a little and frowned. "Then how can you say that?" She asked indignantly.

Jasper smiled down at her, feeling a wave of affection as looked into the flashing eyes of the gem she loved; Lapis was beautiful when she was angry. "Because even if, somehow, something does go wrong, we can fix it. Together." She said firmly. "Now. What still needs to be done? Let me help you." She urged.

Lapis blinked at her, anger fading into a warm affection. And there, underneath it was that strange something that made Jasper's heart skip a beat in her chest. As Lapis beamed up at her, glowing radiantly the warrior gem felt her entire being flood with love for the gem in her arms. The urge to to tell her, to finally say those words aloud was almost overpowering in that moment, but Jasper reigned it in. They had to focus on getting ready for the party. This was a time for her to think about Steven, not herself. She tried to make herself believe the lie, but the tingle of her old fears let her know that it was futile. Fear was what held her tongue. One day, she would be brave enough to tell Lapis how she truly felt; but today was not that day. Instead, she let herself simply enjoy their lingering embrace as Lapis looked around their home with a critical eye.

"Do you think maybe we need more lights?" She asked, her voice uncertain. "It seems… darker than it usually does in here now."

Jasper looked around. It did seem darker than she remembered. As she glanced around, she noticed that not as much sunlight was streaming in through the windows. She was startled to see it looked dim outside; dimmer than when it rained even. It had been bright and sunny when she'd come in only minutes before. A sense of foreboding crept up her spine.

She released Lapis and took a step toward the door. "I'm going to go see what's going on."

"I'm going with you." The hydrokinetic gem's voice was firm.

There wasn't time to argue, but Jasper made sure her stride kept her slightly ahead of Lapis. She was ready for anything as she stepped outside. Or, at least, that's what she'd thought.

She stood, stunned as she saw something out of her wildest, darkest nightmares falling from the sky. A huge, jagged, gem encrusted rock was hurtling down from the heavens right for them. Flames wreathed its enormous form from the incredible speed it gained as it fell down through the atmosphere. Before she could do more than turn and grasp Lapis, using her own body as a shield, the rock struck the hills nearby. The earth shook so violently Jasper was thrown from her feet. She heard the wrenching sound of twisting metal and splintering wood as she crashed sideways through the wall of the barn, feeling her skin rip and tear as pieces of debris embedded themselves into her flesh. As she sailed through the air, her only thought was to protect the screaming gem in her arms. She rolled in the air, landing hard on her back so that Lapis landed on top of her.

She lay there, dazed, struggling to breath in the dusty air. She was given only a moment to recover, before having to roll them sideways as a support beam crashed through the thick cloud of dust towards them. The earth was still trembling violently as she scrambled to her feet, clinging tightly to Lapis. Glass from their sculpture was shattering all around them as the barn heaved and rolled, falling to pieces around them with the force of the tremors. Their home was now a deathtrap.

A deep cracking had her spinning around to see the thick glass of the aquarium splintering. Lapis gasped in her arms and Jasper didn't wait a moment longer. She charged with as much speed as she was able toward the far wall. She screamed, materializing her helmet. She slammed it into the wall she'd built with Lapis only weeks ago. The already straining wood exploded into a splintery cloud and she pressed Lapis' face into her chest to protect her eyes as they sailed through it. She landed awkwardly, barely maintaining her balance, and bounded over the heaving Earth away from the worst of the rush of debris strewn water. For a long moment, she could see nothing through the dust and smoke, could hear nothing but the earth still protesting the horrible blow. She bent her knees and rode the tremors until they began to slow, determined not to lose her balance a second time. Lapis clung to her silently as the dust and debris slowly began to settle. Fish flopped helplessly all around them. Jasper fleetingly wished they could save them, but at that moment, a horrible groaning drew her eyes towards the thing that had crashed into the Earth and destroyed their home in a matter of moments.

To her absolute horror, it unfolded itself and stood up, revealing its true form through the lingering dust and billowing smoke. It was a colossal monstrosity. Dozens of milky white crystalline shards studded its enormous shoulders and more, bigger shards, wreathed its eyeless head like a grotesque crown. Its skin was smooth and stone-like, mottled white and lighter grey in places. It took a deep, ragged breath and the skin that looked too solid to flex, rippled smoothly. The milky crystals shivered, glistening in sharp contrast as it stood there on four thick legs, muscled arms so long its stone-studded knuckles brushed the ground. It towered above them, taller even than the Diamonds, and opened a huge jagged mouth, revealing teeth made of milky stone shot through with more of the glistening crystal. It roared; a deep bellow that rattled her bones and set her every hair on edge.

She unconsciously tightened her hold on Lapis as terror surged through her. She had seen a creature like this only once before and it lived as the most terrifying memory of her existence. Sometimes, when a gem was planted, something went wrong in the process. It was rare, and usually resulted in nothing more than a defective gem, that would then be shattered. But sometimes... sometimes these gems did not emerge discolored. Sometimes, they didn't emerge at all. Sometimes entire Kindergarten facets would slowly go dark, until only one node remained active. Some pull, or gravitational force, drew the implanted gems through the raw stone over the course of the years, until all of them were clustered together in that one active node. Instead of emerging, these gems would fester like an ingrown hair on a beast's hide, growing and swelling as all of the energy meant for those separate gems was directed into one huge and malformed gemstone. The very walls of their Kindergarten would begin to crumble around them weakened by the fissures dug in the stone by the mysteriously migrating gems, until all that was left was a massive stone with that awful, festering gem cluster at its heart. The creatures resulting these strange phenomena had no sense of higher reasoning. Once they awakened, they listened not even to the Diamonds themselves and were filled with an unfathomable rage which could not be tamed or tempered. The Diamonds had called them Geodes and, instead of destroying them as was usually ordered for defective gems, the Diamonds saw their defection as a weapon. Jasper had heard the tales of them since her emergence, but had never believed them to be true until she'd seen one of the horrors with her own eyes; it seemed only fitting that she be reminded of the terrifying Emerald only days before this nightmare came to Earth.

The horrible memories swarmed in her addled mind. Her warriors were doing little to aid the forces Homeworld had already sent, but instead of showing her famous rage, the terrifying Emerald had only linked a communication to Homeworld. After a short, cryptic meeting with Yellow Diamond, Emerald had been almost glowing with a wicked delight . Jasper had watched, bewildered, as Emerald had withdrawn her forces from the tiny planet, letting the peoples there think that they'd won. The commander had watched their frivolity with a mocking disdain and a strange, gleefully cruel anticipation from the atmosphere. For weeks, they had hovered, watching the ruined civilization slowly begin to rebuild itself. And then, it came. From deep space, a huge rock had come hurtling by less than a meter from their ship. The monstrosity that had emerged from that rock- so terrifyingly similar to the one standing before Jasper now- had wreaked a level of destruction upon the helpless civilization on which it had been unleashed that Jasper had never thought it was possible for any single creature could; barring a Cluster. Within mere days, the entire planet had been devastated. Not a single living thing grew or breathed. The thriving planet had become a wasteland and still, the Geode had raged. And then, as the single force of destruction finally grew still, having nothing left to destroy, Emerald had given the final order. Bombs were sent hurtling through the atmosphere as her fleet retreated a short distance. Every gem on every ship had watched as the devastated planet and the Geode were reduced to nothing more than dust. It had been a lesson that she never forgot; not until Steven and Lapis and the Crystal Gems had given her a new belief.

But now, staring up at this nightmare made real, she could not help but to cower. Homeworld had sent this creature to finish the Cluster's- and her own- failed mission. It would destroy everything in its path, wreaking havoc and destruction upon the planet she had come to love. No force could ever hope to face this terrible monstrosity. She almost fell to her knees as a crushing sense of defeat stole her strength. Lapis shuddered in her arms, a terrified sob ripping through her chest. Jasper looked down to see her staring at the creature with horror filling her eyes. That expression of horror would be the last one Jasper ever got to see on Lapis' face.

"No." She murmured. The word slipped from her without thought.

Lapis looked up at her, confusion mixing with her utter terror. "Jasper?"

The warrior gem's heart wrenched as Lapis said her name. Could she really stand by and let this wonderful, beautiful, amazing gem be slain without even _trying_ to defend her? "No." She said again, firmer. Determination and a fierce denial suddenly to life in Jasper's chest, racing through her veins in a tingling rush of adrenaline and blasting the shock and sadness from her mind. " _No_!" She screamed, looking up at the monstrosity with a fierce snarl. She had no doubts that this creature would destroy her. This would be her very last battle.

" _Jasper_!" Lapis gasped her name, clinging to her even more desperately. "What are you doing?!"

Jasper looked back down at her again and saw Lapis' terrified navy eyes filled with tears. Jasper looked into their shimmering depths and let her fierce love for Lapis join the fire in her heart. This was her last chance to tell Lapis her deepest truth. She opened her mouth, feeling the words rising like an almost tangible force in her throat. But then, a sudden, horrifying thought stilled them on her tongue.

If this was truly her final stand, was it fair to say them now. Was it fair for Lapis to carry the burden of her feelings? Would it hurt her more afterward if she knew?

Jasper's heart felt like a cold stone in her chest as she realized that Lapis would forever blame herself if she knew and Jasper fell. She couldn't do that to her. Better that she never know and never have to give it any thought. It would be easier for her to move on if she and the Crystal gems somehow managed to escape. Her last task would be to give them a chance to do just that.

The reality of what she was about to do settled about her shoulders like a weight of unfathomable proportions, but she knew it had to be done. Gently, she untangled Lapis' arms from about her and set the trembling gem on her feet. "Lapis. Listen to me." She said urgently. "You have to get to Steven and the others."

Her navy eyes went wide. "But what about-"

Jasper cut her off; there was no time. "I'm going to keep it distracted so you can make it to the warp pad. You have to tell them to escape. All of you have to leave Earth. Somehow, they've got to find a way! Do you understand?"

"But, Jasper!" She cried, desperately, reaching out to cling to her once more. "You can't! It'll kill you!"

For the first time, Jasper held her back from an embrace. She saw pain flash through Lapis blazing eyes, but she could not give in to it. Jasper had never lied to Lapis before, but now she did. "No. I'll escape as soon as I know you're safe. I'll be fine." It hurt to say the words, but it was the only way to save the gem she loved. "It won't be able to follow through the warp. But Steven and the others will need every moment of warning we can give them. You _have_ to go to them, Lapis! It's the only way!"

Lapis shook her head. "I can't leave you." She whispered. The agony that filed her voice and eyes almost made Jasper give in and hold her close once more.

But at that moment, the Geode seemed to have fully recovered from its hard landing. It bellowed and took a thundering step in their direction. Jasper spun and watched in horror as it readied itself for a charge. Somehow, despite its lack of any visible eyes, it came directly for them. Jasper cried out and shoved Lapis backwards before flinging herself to the side as one of its huge fists struck where they had been a half-second before.

She flipped to her feet and looked frantically towards Lapis. She felt a wave of relief to see her standing up, terrified, but seemingly unharmed. The Geode hesitated, no doubt wondering which of its two targets to pursue. Jasper gritted her teeth and charged at it before it could make up its mind. The creature stumbled, bellowing in rage as Jasper slammed into one of its thick legs. It swiped at her as she dodged backwards, forgetting Lapis as it came after her.

" _Go_!" Jasper screamed when she saw that Lapis was still standing there, frozen with terror. "Get to the others! It's the only way to save them!"

She couldn't watch to see if Lapis obeyed her and a seed of regret for what might have been planted itself in her heart. She was forced to ignore it as she determined to throw herself into her final stand with every ounce of skill she possessed. She might not be able to save Earth, but she had to to at least give her love, her friends, a fighting chance. The Geode swung at her again, huge fingers raking furrows in the ground when it missed. It kept swinging, effortlessly keeping pace with her as she leaped backwards. Jasper danced around its irrational attacks with increasing difficulty as they grew faster and more powerful the angrier it got. She was too busy dodging to look for an opening, but she knew that she couldn't run forever. Just as the thought entered her mind, she slipped on one of the dead fish, crashing to her side on the damp earth. Her head struck a stone and she was momentarily dazed. The Geode seized its opportunity and swung its giant fists to crash with all its strength down onto the helpless warrior gem.

It hit Jasper with the force of a raging comet. Her world exploded into excruciating pain. She could do nothing as she felt herself being driven into the ground. Jagged rocks joined the splintered wood in her skin; little flashes of agony to join the rest. Before she could even begin to recover, another impossibly strong blow crashed into her from nowhere. She couldn't see it coming and had no way to brace herself. She couldn't even breathe as her abused body twitched beyond her control.

She hadn't thought she'd ever take a blow stronger than what Lapis had dealt her, but she was wrong. She could feel her form beginning to slip. She hadn't even lasted a minute against this creature. She would die not even having made a difference. She could only hope that Lapis had made it to the warp pad.

Lapis... The hydrokinetic gem's face danced through her addled mind. Her heart started to beat a little harder. Was this really it? Was this really her final moment of life? She had already accepted that she would never see Lapis again, but she had thought that she could at least fulfill this final vow. She had thought that she would at least be strong enough to give the gem she loved beyond life itself a fighting chance. The sense of loss at the thoughts was so profound it almost drowned out the pain of her body.

Tears pricked at her closed eyes as she accepted the truth behind her fears and doubts. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to leave Lapis and her new friends. She wanted to live. She wanted to tell Lapis how she really felt. She wanted to be free to love her with everything she had. But, if that was what she wanted, then that meant that she had to get up out of this hole and fight back!

She forced her eyes open and saw the Geode rearing back to hit her again. Her aching body protested painfully, but she forced herself to push the pain aside as she yanked her extremities from the surrounding earth. She rolled heavily away, barely managing to get far enough for the blow to miss. Painfully, she staggered to her knees and started to crawl. Her desperation lent strength to her abused form and she crawled faster. Using her building momentum to launch herself into the air, she landed shakily on her feet and spun to face her attacker.

The Geode looked stunned as it stared down at her with its eyeless face, huge mouth agape and dripping a viscous looking drool. She smirked up at it, forcing her trembling muscles into stillness to hide her pain. The Geode was strong and it was fast, but she knew that it was not very smart. If she could anger it enough to make it clumsy, maybe, just maybe, she'd have a sliver of a chance. Even as the greater part of knew it wasn't true, she clung to the tiny spark of hope with every fiber of her wavering mind.

"Is that the best you've got, freak?" She challenged, balancing on the balls of her feet. The Geode's face transformed into a mask of rage as it roared at her. She leaned into the fetid rush of air. "You fight as bad as you smell!"

The colossal creature growled and reached for her. She dodged its grasping fingers and leaped up. With a yell, she materialized her helmet again and pulled her body into a tight ball. As she reached the height of her leap she forced her head downwards, focusing all of her momentum into a driving point behind the horn of her helmet. She crashed down onto the back of the colossus' enormous hand so hard it slammed into the earth and dug in. The Geode shrieked in pain as she darted away. It yanked the abused extremity from the ground and grasped it with the opposite hand. Thick, grayish blood oozed from a few large cracks splitting its thick hide.

Jasper smirked triumphantly. So its skin wasn't as hard as it looked. If she could hurt it, then she could beat it. She charged towards it with a yell and only barely managed to avoid its sudden, angry backhand. The change of direction didn't slow her down and she slammed into the same leg as she had before. The Geode bellowed as it stumbled again. Jasper felt a moment of triumph and was caught completely by surprise when it suddenly kicked out with the closest leg. She had no way to dodge and the blow sent her soaring once again. She was more prepared for pain this time and recovered in midair. She twisted her body, controlling her fall. Catching herself on her hands, she launched herself immediately into a flip to dodge a huge, swinging fist.

Wood creaked beneath her and she realized she'd landed amongst the debris of her home. Immediately, she saw one of the huge support beams only half buried by the other debris and had a sudden idea. She grasped it and turned to face the swiftly approaching colossus. With a mighty yell, she swung it with all of her strength like a huge bat. It hit so hard the beam splintered to bits and the creature howled in pain as it toppled sideways, barely catching itself on its hands and knees.

She laughed, taunting her fallen adversary. She was terrified and exhilarated and focused entirely on the Geode as it tried to struggle to its feet. With determination and rekindled hope surging through her, she leaped into the air for another devastating attack. The colossus regained its feet just in time. She could do nothing as its fist hit her midair. She was sent helplessly reeling into the sky and could only brace herself as she started to fall. The Geode didn't let her hit the ground. Instead it swung upwards and punched her falling form. Jasper couldn't even cry out as the colossus' strength combined with her own momentum and sent her flying back into the air. All of the breath had been crushed from her lungs and her vision went black as the colossus hit her into the air again and again. Its grumbling roars sounded eerily like laughter as it toyed with her and she could do nothing to stop it. The pain faded with every blow and she felt herself slipping. She was... beaten.

" _ **Jasper**_!"

Her name was a desperate cry from the darkness. She felt a weightlessness settle over her and moments later realized that there was something supporting her, holding her gently. She heard a rush of water and deafening bellow, before slender hands cupped her face. She heard her name again and again and slowly, painfully, blinked her eyes open. Her vision cleared and there, impossibly, was Lapis. But Lapis couldn't be here.

"Lapis?" She rasped, unable to believe her eyes.

"I'm here." The slender gem responded gently. Her teary eyes sparkled with profound relief.

Horror pushed the rest of the fog from Jasper' pain addled mind as she realized that Lapis truly was here. "Lapis! You shouldn't have stayed!" She croaked. "Run! I can't stop it!" She struggled to rise and realized that Lapis was holding them high in the air on a sheet of water. She looked down through it and saw the giant Geode struggling under a pair of huge watery hands holding it down. Even as she struggled to comprehend what was happening, she realized that they were moving away from it. "What are you doing?" She cried, watching in horror as the colossus broke free from its restraints. "You have to take me back! It has to be stopped!"

"I'm not going to stand there and let it kill you!" Lapis cried. "We're leaving!"

Jasper watched helplessly as the Geode bounded angrily after them, ripping chunks of earth from the ground and throwing them after them. She saw it tear a huge tree from its roots and throw it as well. "We can't leave!" She cried spinning back to Lapis and willing her to understand. "It'll destroy the Earth!"

Lapis looked back at her and Jasper gasped at the look in her eyes. They were wild and furious with a desperate madness sparking in their navy depths. " _I don't care_!" She shrieked.

Jasper was terrified, but she could not simply sit here and let the Earth be destroyed. "Lapis-"

" _ **No**_!" They had stopped and Lapis stood now, facing her. "I won't lose you!" She cried. The mad fury on her face crumbled into devastation.

Jasper felt her heart breaking as Lapis dissolved into tears. "Lapis..." She wanted to give in. She wanted nothing more in that moment but to escape the battle and run far far away with Lapis. She wanted to hide away in the furthest reaches of the universe and spend the rest of her existence with nothing and no one but the gem she loved. But, even as the fantasy formed in her head, she knew that it could never be their reality. "Lapis, listen to me. I have to stop this. Homeworld sent this thing here. It'll destroy everything. Steven, the Crystal Gems, Earth. I can't let Homeworld take this planet." She reached for her, begging her to understand. "I can't let them win! If we let them win, they'll follow us wherever we run. They'll destroy everything! The entire universe! We would never be free! I can't let that happen, Lapis. I can't let them have you!"

Lapis burst into tears. "And I can't let them have _you_!"

Jasper stood and took Lapis into her arms. "I have to protect you." Their voices blended with the words.

Jasper squeezed her tightly, never, ever wanting to let her go. Her entire soul was afire, wishing desperately that she had the power to protect the the gem she loved. Distantly, Jasper felt her form slipping, but not as if she were losing herself. It took her a moment to recognize the sensation. By the time she had, Jasper was no more. Lapis was no more. The two were suddenly one and there was only Malachite.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Malachite felt her counterparts' surprise, but the majority of her mind was full of the thought that had brought her into existence; she had to protect what she loved from that which threatened it. Love and determination filled her and the last of the minimal turmoil inside her was drowned out by the raw surge of emotion. She flexed her wings and pointed herself towards the raging monstrosity below her. It leaped up towards her with a bellow and she roared in challenge with her approach. They collided with such force that it flattened every living thing around them in a wide circle.

She was knocked backwards with the force, barely managing to catch herself with a few strong wing-beats. The Geode was not so lucky. It slammed backwards into the ground with a colossal crash that shook the earth around them. A cloud of debris rose from the trembling earth and the creature's breath left it in a horrible, liquid-sounding rush.

A sporting part of her wanted to let it regain its feet, but the majority of her knew that only ruthlessness would see them victorious. She settled to the ground on her lower hands and mentally searched for water. A pocket of ground water bubbled up at her beckoning and she deftly hardened it into several large shards of ice with a flick of her hands. She threw them towards it with all the force she was able and then charged after the projectiles, using both her hands and wings to obtain maximum speed in moments. With a thought her helmet formed and she spun herself into a whirling ball of fury, directing herself at the creature still struggling vainly to rise.

The shards hit and shattered against its hide and it bellowed in agony as the tiny pieces buried into its now weakened form. A moment later, she hit dead center amongst the weakened spot. The Geode howled as it was sent hurtling sideways with such force it raked a trench though the land.

Immediately, she went after it, intent on its destruction. The flailing colossus surprised her by lashing out at her with all six limbs managing to land a blow that sent her crashing backwards. To her astonished horror the Geode began to glow from within with an eerie blue light. She pushed herself upright and gasped when it seemed to disappear. A second later it was right in front of her. It roared right into her face, splashing her with flecks of drool that stung where they hit. It lashed out with a blow that she barely dodged.

The colossus had been fast before, but now its speed was truly phenomenal. She was forced to back away as it presented an impenetrable flurry of attacks. She beat her wings and lifted off, hoping that some distance would change the dynamic, but the colossus was ready for that too. As it had before, it slammed its fist into the ground and dislodged a large chunk of dirt and rock, which it then threw at her. She dodged it easily, wracking her mind for a plan of attack. It repeated the action several times as it ran after her and she watched in horror as it created an ever widening circle of destruction. Trees, flowers, even small animals that hadn't fled, all fell to its rampage. Her heart rebelled at the destruction and she charged blindly back down, still dodging chunks of earth. She slammed into it with all her might and it howled in agony as she drove it into the devastated ground. The crystals all along its from rattled and splits formed in its stony hide. She gave it no time to recover and instead leaped up, helmet forming once more. She slammed down with all the force shed was able. It howled again, though this time it was closer to a wheeze as she rose to crash down on it again.

Impossibly, the colossus survived the second impact with minimal damage and she knew that with her strength flagging she would never gain enough momentum from the ground to destroy it. There was no water here, so half of her power was useless. Frustrated, she continued to pummel the creature to keep it down while she searched for a solution. A sudden thought drew her eyes up to the sky and the clouds high above. She had her answer. Filled with new determination, the fusion lifted off again. She grasped the stunned colossus' arms with her lower ones and began to laboriously lift it into the air. It struggled vainly against her as she lifted it higher and higher.

Once she was among the clouds, she began calling their moisture to her. All around her they darkened to an inky black and lightning flashed almost incessantly through their dense forms. With a mighty effort, she drew every drop of moisture she could to her. When she knew she had coalesced as much as the environment could safely spare, she gathered it all into an enormous, swirling orb. With a surge of her straining wings, she lifted the howling colossus above it and let it fall. It screeched in terror before it hit. The orb swallowed the screeching Geode entirely and Malachite wasted no time. With swift controlled motions, she directed the swirling waters within. Grimly she watched the spinning colossus, its limbs twisting to impossible angles as the orb compacted. A moment later and it was forced into a tight, glowing ball and she could hear a horrible sounding screeching even through the ever thickening water. Feeling her power quickly draining, she closed her eyes and tightened her hands into fists, her exhausted mind barely withstanding the effort of her actions. Finally, she felt her mind relax as the orb of water froze into a solid ball of ice with the helpless and broken Geode trapped inside. With a sense of finality, she backed away and then flew at it, gaining as much momentum as she could. The orb shattered with a deafening crack and a bright glistening burst of ice crystals. A poof of smoke signified the colossus' defeat and she caught the large stone that she knew contained its gem cluster. She stared at it and, to her astonishment, a sea green bubble formed around it.

For a moment she could do nothing but stare as she regained her breath. "I did it." She panted. Her counterparts' joy surged through her. "We did it!" They cried together.

Malachite felt their love for each other swell and smiled at their surprise that the other felt the same. She laughed at their silliness. Of course they loved each other; they always had, but their darkness had blinded them before.

The joy of victory and love gave her new strength and she flitted through the air, crying out a wordless shout of happiness. She watched as the clouds broke up and the sun hit the tiny, melting ice crystals still hovering in the thin air. To her astonishment, the sunlight refracted from the crystals and all around her a rainbow burst to life. She gasped in wonder and felt Jasper and Lapis' awe swell within her. Laughing in sheer joy, she flew towards it, only to have it disappear and reappear in a different place. She chased it for a few long, happy moments, still laughing.

As her renewed burst of strength began to fade, something below her caught her eye. She looked closer and was surprised to see Steven on Lion and the Crystal Gems racing over the ground towards them. With no small amount of regret, she gave up her new game and headed back to the ground, holding the bubbled colossus tightly to her chest. The others stopped and were watching her warily as she lightly set down. Jasper and Lapis knew they had to separate and Malachite felt a sharp stab of regret. The fusion hugged herself tightly for a moment, letting their love fill her once more, before her counterparts slowly pulled apart. Malachite disappeared with a burst and the one was suddenly two again.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Jasper looked down at Lapis in her arms as they reformed. Lapis smiled up at her so radiantly she felt her heart skip in her chest. That mysterious something was sparkling in her eyes again and Jasper finally knew the name for it: Love. For the first time in her existence, Jasper finally felt whole. As one, they remembered the bubbled mutation and turned to see it floating a few feet from the ground beside them. Jasper kept one arm around Lapis, not wanting to let her go again so soon as they stepped towards it.

"We really did it." Lapis murmured as she stroked the translucent orb.

Jasper squeezed her shoulders tightly. "We really did."

Lapis looked up at her with an expression of such love and happiness that Jasper felt herself fall in love with her all over again. "I love you." The words came without a thought, but she didn't regret them for a second. She had felt Lapis' love flow through their entire being only moments before and knew Lapis had felt hers just the same, but she still wanted her to hear those precious words.

Lapis blinked, before happy tears welled in her eyes. "I love you, too."

Jasper cupped her smooth cheek with one hand, heart soaring in her chest. "I've wanted to say those words for so long." She murmured.

"Why didn't you?" Lapis whispered, letting a hint of indignation color her tone.

Jasper smiled wryly. "I was afraid you didn't feel the same way." She admitted.

Lapis laughed softly. "I was too."

Jasper chuckled with her. "We're bad at this."

"Jasper! Lapis!" Steven cried; Jasper had honestly forgotten he and the others where there. She looked over to see him leap off of Lion and run towards them. He stopped a foot or so away. "Are you alright?"

Jasper looked down at Lapis. "Are we?" She asked earnestly.

Lapis beamed up at her. "Never better."

Jasper smiled happily back. Then, she had a sudden thought and turned back to Steven. "Wait. How did you all know to come here?"

Steven looked grim as he pulled out his phone. "It's all over the internet." He showed them grainy pictures of the Geode falling from the sky and the mushroom cloud of debris it had created "Connie saw them first and she called me. We got here as soon as we could."

"Looks like you guys had it handled though." Amethyst said proudly.

Lapis frowned. "Not at first. Jasper tried to take it on herself." She almost growled.

"You what?!" Pearl cried, absolutely stunned.

"You could have been killed!" Peridot added a moment later, sounding terrified.

Jasper shrugged off the concern. "I only did what I thought I had to." She said firmly.

"Why don't we just focus on the fact that it worked out in the end." Garnet spoke with a tone of finality as several of them started to speak at once.

Steven grinned up at her. "Too right." Then he looked up at Jasper and Lapis, a knowing sparkle in his eyes. "So. You guys were able to be Malachite again. How'd it feel?" He asked trying and failing to hide his excitement.

Jasper blinked down at the slender gem she held at her side. For a moment, she hesitated, wondering whether or not it was alright to say the inner thoughts they had shared aloud in front of everyone so soon. But Lapis was smiling up at her, openly displaying her surging emotions and Jasper relaxed as she realized there was no reason to hide. "It was amazing." She admitted. "But, to be honest, I think I like being Jasper and Lapis better than being Malachite." She said, only half joking.

Lapis beamed up at her. "I like it better this way too." The slender gem said happily. Then blinked as if remembering something and looked down at the bubble still in her hands. She held it out to the others. "Here."

They all gasped as they looked at the large stone, but said nothing as Steven dutifully sent it back to the temple. After a long moment of heavy silence, Steven looked around at them all. "So. Anyone hungry?"

Jasper laughed aloud and heard the others join her. "I'm _always_ hungry!" Amethyst said loudly, rubbing her stomach.

Garnet smiled. "Some things never change." The fusion smiled happily. The fusion threw an arm around Pearl and together, they started back towards the warp pad.

Steven patted Lion and they followed, but Amethyst hung back, watching Peridot who seemed to have something she wanted to say. The green gem seemed acutely nervous, but Lapis smiled gently at her and the small gem regained her composure. "What will you do now?" She asked quietly.

Jasper's heart fell as she remembered the destruction of their home. She looked down at Lapis to see the hydrokinetic gem mirroring her dismay. All of their morps, their instruments, everything had been destroyed; if not by the tremors, then by the barn's collapse or the rush of water from the aquarium. Everything she and Lapis had worked for, all of Lapis and Peridot's memories of the time they were together, was gone. They had no home; Homeworld had taken it from them.

A sudden thought blazed through Jasper's mind that wiped every trace of sadness from her being. She smiled down at Lapis letting every ounce of her love show. The slender blue gem looked confused. "How can you smile right now?" She asked, sounding a little angry.

Jasper turned and wrapped both arms around her. "Because no matter what we've lost, we still have the most important thing." She squeezed the slender gem to her. Lapis blinked and Jasper felt her heart swell as she saw understanding fill those gorgeous navy eyes. Lapis' arms slid around the warrior gem's waist and she leaned into her. Jasper felt that familiar mix of fear and anticipation as she leaned down to meet her.

As their foreheads brushed, Amethyst made an exaggerated retching sound. "Ugh! C'mon, Peri! Let's get out of here before these two give us cooties!" The two of them began snickering.

Jasper growled and deftly kicked a small rock at the cheeky, purple quartz as Lapis hid her blush in Jasper's chest. Amethyst dodged the projectile with a smirk and wrapped an arm around Peridot's shoulders. She turned them to walk away and Peridot snaked an arm around her waist. After a few steps, the green gem looked back over her shoulder with a grin.

"Hey, Lazuli!" She called. Lapis pulled her face free to look at her. "I'm really glad you found your reason to fight." She cried, sending Lapis a wink.

Lapis' responding smile was brilliant and Jasper felt her breath catch in her throat as a surge of emotion rocked her to her core. How had she ever lived without the gem in her arms? Lapis looked up at her and her smile softened. She reached up a hand and cupped the warrior gem's cheek.

"What are you thinking right now?" She whispered.

Jasper squeezed her tighter. "How much you mean to me." She said firmly. "You're my everything, Lapis Lazuli, and I love you more than life itself. I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with you. That is, if you'll have me?" She couldn't help the tiny shred of doubt that crept into her words.

She heard the sound of rushing water and then, suddenly, Lapis' lips were on hers. Jasper made a tiny, involuntary sound of surprise, but she recovered in an instant and kissed her back. Her arms tightened around Lapis' waist as Lapis' arms went around her neck to pull her closer. She caught a glimpse of her watery wings disappearing, before her eyes drifted shut.

Lapis' lips were soft and molded to her own perfectly. Their mouths slid together like they were made for this single purpose. A zing of sensation raced through her veins as Lapis made a tiny sound in the back of her throat.

Panting, she drew back just enough to speak. "Stars, Lapis. How did I go so long without kissing you?" She whispered.

"I was asking myself the same thing." Lapis murmured.

A moment later they were kissing again, this one more fervent than the last. As Lapis' lips caressed hers, Jasper felt her heart surge more powerfully than ever before. Never had a moment ever felt so perfect. She wished it could go on forever. The sounds of distant clapping and catcalls put a quick death to the happy thought. Amethyst's voice was loudest.

She made a frustrated sound and Lapis pulled back with a breathy laugh. "Come on." She whispered, pulling away so that Jasper had to reluctantly set her on her feet. "I get the feeling we have a party to go to."

Jasper pouted at the interruption, but stepped beside Lapis as she began to walk toward the others. After a few steps she reached out and pulled Lapis to her side, wrapping an arm around her possessively. She grinned hugely when the slender blue gem made a small sound of approval and snaked an arm around her waist.

"I'm only agreeing to go now, because I'm demanding that we pick this up later." She growled, squeezing Lapis' shoulder lightly.

Lapis quirked an eyebrow up at her. "Demanding, huh?"

The tall warrior gem smirked. "Yep."

The hydrokinetic gem tried and failed to hide a smirk. "Just be glad I was about to _demand_ that exact same thing."

Jasper stopped and threw back her head, roaring with laughter. When she sobered slightly, she looked back down into the eyes of the being who meant more to her than anything she'd ever known. The war with Homeworld was far from over and there was still a lot of work to be done. She and the Crystal Gems still had to find the source of the mysterious transmissions and she and Lapis would have to make a new home. She knew all of that, but in this moment, all that mattered was that she was alive and could truly spend a time with Lapis and love her openly as she'd wanted so badly to do for so very long.

"I love you, Lapis." She said the words aloud again, loving how they felt on her tongue and the way Lapis lit up when she said them. "It feels so good to be able to say that when I want to."

"Say it as many times as you want." Lapis murmured, stretching her face upwards. "And now I can say it too. I love you, Jasper."

Heart pounding with sheer happiness, Jasper leaned down to meet her and her entire being rejoiced as their lips met again. She didn't even mind when the catcalls started back up. She felt Lapis smile against her lips. No. Jasper didn't mind at all.

 **0=0=0=0=0=0 THE END 0=0=0=0=0=0**

 **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!**

 **Well, loves. The end has come. I will fully admit that I never ever thought this day would come. This story has gotten me through so many rough times and I am very, very sad to see it go. But, nothing lasts forever. It only felt right to go into the New Year with this journey finally complete. This is the very first multi chapter story that I have ever had the strength to complete and I hope to carry this sense of accomplishment with me into the New Year.**

 **A huge thanks to all of you, for taking this journey with me. I'm not sure I would have made it without all of your support. Just knowing you were all here was enough to keep me going when all I wanted to do was give up. I didn't realize it at first, but a wonderful and insightful and very special person let me see that in a way, Jasper's journey of redemption has also been a journey of my own redemption too and I have to say thank you to them and to you all for being here alongside me for it. Truly. Thank you.**

 **This story is also a message. A message to all of you that you can have your own redemption, if you only keep going, keep trying and keep looking up to see all of the wonderful things around you. Those things may become shrouded in darkness sometimes, and sometimes the effort of looking up will take every ounce of your strength, but I promise you loves, it is worth every moment of effort. There is no battle too great to overcome if you tuly set your heart and mind to it.**

 **I will be posting a short epilogue very soon and I will also be making a very exciting announcement afterwards, so stay tuned! Our journey may be over, but a tiny step more towards the future never hurts. I hope to see you all then.**

 **Until next time, you wonderful loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


	43. Epilogue

**Pieces**

 **Epilogue**

 **A/N: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!**

 **Well, here it is. The final, final chapter. I won't keep you here, loves. We'll say our goodbyes at the end.**

 **Read on, loves!**

 **0o0o0o0o0o0**

Jasper let out a happy sigh as she looked out over the gently rolling sea. Slender fingers squeezed her hand and she glanced over to see Lapis gazing out towards the slowly brightening horizon with a look of such acute happiness, it almost brought tears to her eyes. Even if they had lost their home only a few days ago in the devastating arrival of the Geode, Jasper knew that her home was with Lapis, wherever they were.

These few days had been some of the happiest and the most exhausting days of her life. Lapis had been right about the party. Steven and the other Crystal Gems had celebrated the Geode's defeat with them until the boy had all but dropped where he stood. His friends had been there all day yesterday for his birthday party, which had been thrown together with last minute supplies since everything had been lost in the destruction of the barn. As Jasper had known he would, Steven was happy with even the simplest of affairs and was only concerned that they all have fun and spend time together. The day and part of the night had been filled with laughter and music. Today had been full of cleaning up and mundane tasks with the rest.

Jasper had had a lot of fun, but she'd gotten used to spending the majority of her time alone with Lapis. After the relative peace of their solitude, spending so much time with the rest of the Crystal Gems was exhausting. She felt a little guilty about it, but knowing that Lapis felt the same way helped a little. There was one big upside to being with their friends all the time however; their few stolen moments alone were all the more precious.

Moments like the one right now. Steven and the others were sleeping or lost in their own tasks, so she and Lapis had snuck away to truly fulfill the promise they'd made to each other what felt like a lifetime ago. Her heart was pounding with excitement and just a trickle of fear as Lapis looked away from the early sunrise and gazed up into her eyes.

Her expression held the same mix of excitement and fear. "Are we sure we're ready for this?" She asked softly.

"No." Jasper chuckled. "But let's do it anyway."

Lapis laughed and shook her head. "How did I know you were going to say that?"

The warrior gem turned to her, smiling happily. "Because you're a nerd." She teased.

"Dork." Lapis snapped playfully, turning to face her too. Smiling tenderly, she reached up to cup Jasper's cheek in her hand. "You're lucky I love you."

No matter how many times Lapis sad those words, Jasper felt a happy tingling rush through her every time. "No. I'm lucky because _I_ love _you_." She murmured, unable to resist leaning in for a kiss.

Lapis lifted onto her toes and their lips met. Jasper's head spun at they kissed, their lips moving together like they were made only for this. Nothing had ever felt more right. Every kiss they shared felt like the very first one and she hoped with every fiber of her being that that would never change. Then slowly, Lapis pulled away. Her navy eyes were sparkling dazzlingly with love and happiness, and the warrior gem felt her heart stutter to a stop at the sight.

"I love you." She murmured, almost without thought

"I love you too." Lapis whispered back. She leaned up again, brushing Jasper's lips with hers once more, before pulling away again. Her eyes glimmered with resolve. "I'm ready."

Jasper looked into the eyes of the gem she loved and loved her even more for the strength she saw there. This was the biggest step that Lapis could ever take towards facing her past, her fears, and her darkness and Jasper knew that she was the only gem who could walk this path beside her. And, for the first time in her existence, she finally felt worthy of the chance to face her own past, her own fears, and her own darkness and knew there wasn't a single other soul in this universe that could ever face it with her, but this gem standing before her, loving her just as much as she herself was loved.

Wordlessly, Jasper took a step back, holding Lapis' hand tightly in hers. The slender gem took a small step out and then, they were moving together. The dance came as easily as breath to Jasper, and Lapis flowed like the water she loved so dearly. All around them, the Earth seemed to stand still as their bodies moved together as one. As she dipped Lapis backward, bending her lithe body over her arm, supporting her with effortless ease, she felt her form beginning to slip. Lapis arced up in a graceful motion and their lips met for the briefest of moments before they were no more.

=0=0=0=0=0=

Malachite was smiling as her form solidified. Her lips still tingled with their kiss and their love filled her until she felt as if she would burst. All around her were the scents and sounds of the ocean that she loved. The sky was blazing with a brilliant sunrise and the rolling waves seemed to almost catch fire as they reflected the brilliant light on their curling forms. She felt energized, excited, and felt that if she didn't move she'd catch fire herself. Lapis and Jasper's minds were one. Malachite knew what they wanted and she wanted it too.

With a happy laugh she coalesced her wings and lifted into the briny air. Oh, how she'd longed to fly over the sea once more! Up she flew towards the soaring clouds and out over the dazzlingly lit sea. On and on, she raced until her eyes could see nothing but the blazing sky and the fathomless depths that held such mystery and wonder, even to the one who held it's power in her grasp. Those wonders were hers alone to discover. Those mysteries were hers alone to unravel. And then she smiled at a sudden thought.

She wasn't alone; she never had to be alone again. She knew that her counterparts still feared her in their own way and the thought was a sharp pang in her heart. But she knew that even if they would never remain her forever, she would always be a part of them. She would always be here when they needed her.

But now was not a time for melancholy. Now was time for wonder and discovery! She wanted to make as many memories as she could and see the wonders of the ocean that she loved.

Feeling another surge of excitement, she pointed herself towards the sparkling waves below. Just before she hit the surface, her eyes squeezed shut of their own accord and she felt a horrid trickle of fear. She felt water burst all around her as she dove beneath the waves and bubbles caressed her skin, speeding by and gone in an instant. As her momentum gave out, she drifted to a stop and felt her form grow weightless, supported only by the water surrounding her.

For a long moment, she simply let herself float, trying desperately to quell the terror roaring in her mind. She fought against the instant urge to surge upwards and flee from this, but she knew she couldn't. If she let herself run now, she knew that she would never have the strength to try again; and she knew that Jasper and Lapis would regret it for the rest of their lives. They needed this. She needed this. Without giving herself another moment to think, she forced opened her eyes.

And instantly, she was filled with awe. Above her was the glistening surface of the world above and below her was a darkness that she knew hid endless wonder. For a long, almost endless moment, she was suspended between light and darkness, in an oh, so familiar world of endless blue. Her heart, which she hadn't realized had stopped, began to pound. With each beat it seemed to swell. More and more and more, until she felt it would burst from her and steak into the sky, blazing a path of fire for the entire universe to see.

She smiled out into that blue world and knew with all of her heart that Jasper and Lapis would never be the same after today. She felt a pride in how far they'd both come. How far _she_ had come.

Her power was finally tamed. Her mind was finally whole. Where before she had been made of darkness, now she was made of love.

 **=0=0=0=0=0=0= THE END =0=0=0=0=0=0=**

 **THANK YOU FOR READING!**

 **Oh, loves. Now that this tiny little step further has been completed, I find myself at an utter loss. It is almost like saying goodbye to a very dear friend. I'm glad that I had the foresight to speak at the end of the last chapter, because I am almost too overwhelmed for words. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me.**

 **I do have to say thought that I plan to go back and edit every single chapter of the story at some point. The amount of grammatical and spelling errors is simply atrocious. So I would like to apologize in advance for the notification spam when I go to replace the chapters.**

 **And now for my special announcement! I am happy to say that while our journey with Jasper and Lapis is over, Pieces is NOT! I am very shortly going to begin working on another installment. This has been planned since Pieces was fully formed in my head and will hopefully be just as fun for all of you to read as I know it will be for me to write.**

 **Picking up the Pieces is the name of the next installment, where we will join our favorite Pearl on her own journey. Now that Homeworld's war on Earth has been rekindled, all of the Crystal Gems know they must work harder and become stronger to face it. But, as we learned from Jasper before, true strength is not measured in power, but instead is measured by the heart. What will Pearl do when she is forced to finally face her own broken heart? Join me in the future as we find out!**

 **As always, my loves! Stay safe and read on! Ja!**


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